personal statement for trade school

[2024] 8 MBA Personal Statement Examples from Top Programs

by Talha Omer, MBA, M.Eng., Harvard & Cornell Grad

In mba | personal statement samples by field.

If you are applying to an MBA program, you must be searching for examples of successful MBA personal statements and essays. In this article, I will share some outstanding essay examples of applicants  admitted to some of the best business schoo ls  in the world . 

I recommend you thoroughly look at these samples because you will gain a lot from them.

I will delve further and explain what makes an excellent MBA essay. I will also give you some insights into what makes these sample personal statements so effective. 

What’s more? I will keep adding more real samples to this article so that you can look at the most recent trends in admissions preferences. 

In this Article

Example 1: The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

Example 2: w. p. carey school of business – arizona state university, example 3: duke’s fuqua school of business, example 4: harvard business school, example 5: schulich school of business, york university, example 6: mccombs school of business – the university of texas at austin, example 7: columbia business school, example 8: rotman school of management, university of toronto, why do mba programs require a personal statement, does every mba program require a personal statement, what if i have something more to share, a true narrative, be different, clear goals, know the boundaries of the topic, first make a brag sheet, key takeaways, personal statement examples.

Instructions: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

It’s often a scary proposition to garner the courage to stand up and ask ‘why’ when you’re not sure whether your voice will give away the inherent nervousness you’re feeling. However, I often found myself doing just that in almost every single class during my time at university. Somewhere along the way, I was the only one volunteering for an additional assignment or opportunity that allowed me to further develop and refine my skillset. Where others said no, it was easy for me to say yes since I knew that knowledge and learning were more important to me than the opinions of others. The criticism and judgement really didn’t matter because I had given myself the permission to fail, and more importantly, to accept failure as a necessary element for me to grow.

Perhaps it all began with a paradigm shift that suggested that rather than lounge around and do the bare minimum during those 4 years at university, I would take conscious responsibility for my development and consider my undergrad as a playground for what I would subsequently offer to the world. I knew I wasn’t going to be the smartest, the best looking, or the most talented person in the world, but I was willing to be the most hard-working. This relentlessness and discipline helped me move from a persistent back-bencher with a 2.3 CGPA to one of the top students in my university, and perhaps it was the same commitment that led me to turn down the opportunity to complete an MBA from the same institution at the time as I knew that I had outgrown the rides that were on offer. There was a bigger contribution that I could make, and I would have to find a bigger playground when the time was right.

Through applying to Wharton, I am building on the commitment I made years earlier. My fascination with Wharton began in 2015 when I first took Professor Fader’s online class called Customer Analytics. Since that first encounter, 10 out of the 30 courses that I’ve completed are affiliated with Wharton in one way or another. From Professor Richard Shell’s insights on success to Professor Karen Reivich’s lectures on resilience, there was always something for me to learn from and grow as an individual. Through becoming a part of Wharton, I want to complement these prior experiences with a more integrated and in-depth curriculum to better understand the intricacies of the business world. 

My application to Wharton is not driven by what propositions await me at the end of two years, but by what I can hope to accomplish during this time that would help make these years last a lifetime. My application is driven by the global impact I can make, and more importantly, the person that I can become in the process. To conclude, I aspire like to leave Wharton not with just a degree, but with the skillset, guidance, and attitude to face whatever life throws at me.

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Instructions for Part 1:  Describe your career path both immediately upon graduation, and five years post MBA.   How will the W. P. Carey MBA help you accomplish these goals? (500 words)

In the short term, post-MBA, I would seek employment at a startup like XX, whereby I would assist the organization in effectively executing its business strategy and, in the process, understand the dynamics of such organizations. Then, five years down the lane, I aim to set up my strategic consulting firm to reform organizations ranging from Non-Governmental Organizations to Manufacturing concerns to Technology companies.

My educational background has equipped me with extensive quantitative knowledge and technical experience around different business themes. I’ve focused most of my studies on business analytics, strategic & financial planning, and organizational controls. This was further honed during my professional career of working in Business Advisory to Leading Sales Operations. While I developed a strong skillset in analytical, financial, negotiation & interpersonal skills, I plan on expanding my problem-solving skills and embedding these skills into business operations. I then plan on extending my expertise across the non-governmental sector and then into different countries. However, first I need to curate my leadership skills and polish my skillset of problem-solving and strategic decision-making through an MBA degree from W.P.Carey.

At W.P. Carey, I want to train myself in case-based approaches and to problem-solve to become adept at breaking down complex problems into smaller workable solutions. Taking courses such as “Decision-making with Data Analytics”, I would be able to hone my analytical skills further and develop the right-thinking process to efficiently and effectively decipher data and glean meaningful information. In addition, I will utilize my honed knowledge to benefit my clients and my business venture through performance management, proposal evaluations, cost-benefit analyses, etc. Further, by taking the “Marketing Management” course, I will equip myself with proper data-based arguments to refute the assertion of marketing not being a valuable activity and delve into the theoretical foundations of fundamental marketing concepts.

Outside the classroom, through W. P. Carey’s “Executive Connections”, I would be able to develop skills to deal with business issues in the real world and assist startups in setting a concrete strategic direction and experience first-hand how successful leaders function. Furthermore, I have worked with many organizations, developed and executed strategic plans, business processes, and policies, and managed on-ground activities. At W.P.Carey, I would like to continue myself at a much larger scale by playing an active role in academic and professional clubs like “BIMA (Business Information Management Association)”, “Consulting Club” and Net Impact. Lastly, I would like to leverage W.P.Carey’s well-knit alumni network and would love to collaborate closely with W.P.Carey’s Career Services to network with its notable alums and learn from their experiences. I also idealize using Career Services’ Resources and coaching further to facilitate my people skills via their Career Leadership courses.

Thus, to sum up, owing to my aspirations and professional expertise in global business, I am confident of making full use of vibrant opportunities at W.P Carey’s MBA degree and converting it into an ideal segue for my future career aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2: Based on your unique personal and professional experiences, what specific contributions do you plan to make both in and outside of the classroom while a member of the Arizona State University’s learning community? (500 words)

Our experiences are what shape us into who we are. Having limited opportunities, I was fortunate enough to obtain an excellent education and work at some of the top organizations in the country. An MBA at Arizona State University would help me grow personally and professionally and allow me to contribute to the growth of my peers through various student clubs and team engagements.

While researching Arizona State University, I realized that one of the program’s pillars is Leadership Development. I consider myself to be a passionate, fierce and innovative leader. In this respect, I can share my experience leading a department (at my current employer, a market-leading frozen food manufacturer) where I developed and executed a complete plan for implementing the sales management system (ERP). The project resulted in an increase in process efficiencies by 30%. Implementing the Freezer Management process with barcode tagging enabled us to recover two hundred and fifty freezers lost over the past two years, saving the company USD 12.5 million in CAPEX.

Having worked with multiple NGOs during my time in Business Advisory at PwC, I noticed that organizations run by individuals with a prime focus on a social cause lack business or strategic direction to be sustainable in the long term. Working closely with these organizations gave me great insight into the workings of an NGO and the mistakes such organizations usually make. Further, I developed the business plan for Pink Ribbon. The organization has raised USD 100 million by implementing a detailed fund-raising plan and is successfully funded through my designed activities. I believe engaging with the “Consulting Club” and the “Volunteer Society” would allow me to learn from their unique experiences. Sharing my findings with the team could benefit their projects and events.

Growing up, Mathematics was one of my favourite subjects and to add to that; I have always had strong quantitative skills. Later in my professional studies, I combined my love for quant with my analytical skills and received an award for being the highest scorer in the ACCA Professional Level Performance Management exam from my batch. After working in Business Analytics, I further honed my analytical skills, and I believe these would be valuable in-class projects and case studies allowing me to decipher situations and problems from a different lens.

Being an international student and living in a culturally-rich country, I would bring a little spice to the life of my fellow students at ASU by introducing them to flavour-rich foods such as “biryani” and “desi nachos” (my take on nachos with a host of local flavours involved). I consider myself a foodie, and it would be a pleasure to share my recipes with the ASU team and experience the distinct cultures of the community.

It would be an honour to be part of the Arizona State University team, and I am eager to contribute to the school’s culture, team spirit and academics.

Instructions:  Based on your understanding of the Fuqua culture, how do you see yourself engaging in and contributing to our community, outside of the classroom? ( Your response to this essay question should be no more than 2 pages in length, with a font size no less than 10-point and 1.5 line spacing. Do not copy the essay question in the document you upload with your application.)

Belonging to a culturally rich country, I feel confident about taking full advantage of the rich opportunities at Fuqua, where I will not only learn but can significantly contribute at a granular level to the Fuqua class. I believe that an MBA experience is not just limited to classroom discussions; it’s more than that; it’s a way of life. In a Team based culture, it is vital to loosen the stiffness to bring more to the table. I am thrilled to be a part of Fuqua, which provides a diverse platform for expressing my personality and learning from my peers.

During my interaction with one of the current students at Fuqua, John Ive, I realized there are many forays where I can actively contribute and add value. Passion, Initiative and Innovative are my leadership attributes, and I consider myself an avant-garde who loves to experiment. Therefore, I am excited about clubs such as the Entrepreneurship and Venture Capital Club. In these clubs, I can share my experience of taking a bold step that revolutionized South Africa’s aluminium industry. I took the risk of introducing coloring machines, and in doing so, I challenged my CEO’s views of going by the book. The results were fruitful; we broke the monopoly of a local competitor and achieved a staggering growth of 7% per annum. 

I am not just a passionate leader but an avid food lover. I can add a unique flavour to Team Fuqua spirit by introducing cuisines I bet you have never tried. I can spice up the Fuqua food forum and culinary club by introducing dishes such as “XYZ” and “ABC”, which take their name from sounds created while cooking them!! Have you ever known such a dish? I do, and I would love to share my recipe book notes with other members of Team Fuqua.

I strongly believe in the notion that sharing is caring and giving back to society. I strongly resonate with leadership attributes of empathy. I introduced a university-level flood drive and laid the foundations of relief funds and organization during my undergraduate. Working in flood-stricken areas was an eye-opener, and I cannot forget the smile on the face of a cripple child who was rescued by our Team. But I committed to creating a much more profound impact. At Duke, I want to be a part of Durham Habitat for Humanity and would love to share my experiences. By building positive synergies with my other fellows at Team Fuqua, I want to create a legacy of designing effective service delivery systems to improve the lives of homeless and underprivileged members of our community. 

To do this, I want to learn from expert consultants, and I look forward to joining Consulting Club. I am interested in starting social entrepreneurship, and currently, my ideas are raw. Instead of this, I am optimistic that through being a part of Consulting Club, I can learn from expert consultants and bring my unique facets of life experiences to the table. I have diverse experience organizing national-level Science Olympiads, but I want to do more. I want to organize events like consulting symposiums and not only challenge my event management expertise; I would love to engage another enthusiast from Team Fuqua.  

Fuqua Class is incredible; where else would you find a professional figure skater, a Guinness World record participant, a patent owner and a TV reporter all in the same class? In such a diverse class, I am keen on contributing to the vibrant team spirit of Fuqua’s creative, intellectual, and fervent community of learners and doers.

Instructions:  As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Belonging to a family that has been running a successful business for the past 4 decades, the main issue has always been the investment of money. The last breakthrough, made by my uncle, whose decision to go for a product that was high in demand and generated good profit, jumped the entire family up one financial class. But, after eight years and counting, there has been no successful new venture that we have tried to explore. The current situation is that despite generating millions each month, there has been no groundbreaking rotation of money, except the occasional investment in real estate.

It became clear to me that things needed to change when the decision for expansion was made two years after the need for it arose, despite having the funds to do so earlier.

After completing my undergrad studies, I worked for a few months at ‘ABC’, only to move back to ‘XYZ’ to learn the family business systems. I accompanied my father for six months and found a system running perfectly except for the occasional bumps. I also realized that despite generating a lot of money, there was no new venture. There is a lazy trend in ‘XYZ’, where if you can’t invest your money anywhere else, you invest it in real estate. This financial parking has been working out for us for quite some time, but it has become a rather dull activity, and my father has shared his discontent with me for not using our resources on a new project. It is simply unacceptable to keep money in the banks, and other alternatives proved not as rewarding.

As an initiative, I started a small ‘ABC’ business in 2015. My main goal was to create another route for cash flow and possible something new where money could be invested. For starters, I imported a Toyota LC SUV model 2012 for my uncle, who wanted to import a car of his choice rather than buy one from the market. After selecting a vehicle and getting it to ‘ABC’ for over three months, I figured the process was pretty simple and decided to try importing cars as a regular business. My first shipment included 2 Toyota LC Parados, both in excellent condition. While I received a lot of praise from interested buyers, there was no actual customer for them because they claimed my price was too high. Upon checking the quality of imported cars in the local market, I realized that all commercial importers were buying damaged vehicles from Japan. After clearing customs for these cars, the first thing was a complete body repair job. Eventually, I managed to sell both vehicles at breakeven after having held them for three months, but that was a failure for me in finding a new venture. So I came back to my repetitive routine of observing smooth-running systems.

I tried again to revive our age-old glass imports business, but due to the strength of the local industries, it turned out to be a dead end as well. With the local industry making mirror, clear and coloured glass, there was room for figure and wire glass import into the local market. As we were about to order a large shipment of figure glass, a local factory, which had been shut down for years, announced its relaunch in February 2015. Unfortunately, the customs taxes on glass products are manipulated by the local industry in such a way that it becomes non-feasible to import glass in the presence of a working factory. So again, I was back to square one.

In June 2015, I decided to go for a global trade tour and look for a new investment opportunity. A global trade conference was taking place in Istanbul, which US-Turk Businessmen Association hosted. It lasted seven days and covered meetings with multiple businesspeople from Istanbul, Corlu and Denizli. I intended to find a company that made ‘XYZ’, but I gained other exciting information. Upon visiting Corlu, an industrial city in Turkey, I met with Mr Engin, a representative of Krauss Maffei, a german machine-making company that made extruders for plastics. Upon his suggestion, I took an interest in uPVC profiles that were the standard for construction in Turkey. He provided me data from Ozturk Holding’s recent projects, which provided evidence that aluminium as a product for window solutions was obsolete in Europe and was making its way to the US. He also told me about some businessmen from US importing uPVC from Turkey. This interested me because uPVC, if introduced to US, would prove to be a direct competitor to our aluminium profiles. So I inquired about basic information for a production plant from Mr Engin, including a layout, a list of required machinery, and a quote of three million euros. All that was left now was to determine whether it would be a successful product for our market or another dead end for my ambition. Upon my return, I prepared a presentation and presented the information I had to the board of directors, which included my father and two uncles. To my disappointment, my idea was rejected because a significant investment was required for the project, while the market demand was minimal in comparison. So it was determined that the industry, if set up, would not be able to generate enough funds to even run at breakeven. So my idea was sidelined for the time being. But it wasn’t a complete failure. My research regarding the plastic industry gave me a basic idea of the process involved, which allowed for procuring our in-house packaging machine, which we purchased from Ruihong-China.

I am an engineer, and while I understand the technical specifications of machines to some extent, the business development processes are still new to me. There are certainly a lot of ideas in my mind, but I cannot filter out the feasible ones. First, I wish to learn how to turn ideas into business plans. Evaluating these plans and proceeding further after a plan has been selected. Second, I want to know the blind spots involved in starting a business and which investment opportunities to avail and on which to pass. Third, I wish to learn how to make value-additions to existing products. Finally, I want to learn about the diversification process and determine the situation where expansion becomes necessary. For that, I have chosen Harvard’s MBA program, which is the best one in the world. Courses such as Business Analysis and Valuation Using Financial Statements, Corporate Strategy and Investment Strategies and Management will be instrumental in realizing my goals.

Instructions:  How will the Schulich MBA degree help you achieve your short and long-term career goals? (Please limit your answer to 350 words).

I aspire to make my mark in management consulting with a focus on small and medium enterprises in Canada and possibly beyond. Small and medium enterprises account for 54.2% of the Canadian economy’s economic output. I aim to contribute to this sector with skills I learn and refine with the Schulich MBA.

York University is the ideal institution to support my academic pursuits since Schulich’s teaching method, especially the Strategy Field Study, dovetails perfectly with my consulting career aspirations. I can engage in real-world problem-solving while at school by actively pursuing programs such as the two-term strategic consulting project. This academic opportunity will guide me better in accomplishing my long-term goal of becoming an expert in the field of management consulting. I can fine-tune my strategic assessment skills while evaluating an organization and recommending improvement. In addition, I can develop a problem-solving skill-set through intensive case competitions, which will help me understand issues at a fundamental level from various perspectives.

My employment at the second largest Canadian bank for the past three years has taught me that intelligent business solutions are rooted in sound financial techniques. I intend to enhance my understanding of finance by supplementing classroom learning with active participation in the Trading Club on campus. Such activities will also help me remain updated on micro and macroeconomic conditions, a sound knowledge required in every management position post-MBA.

I strongly believe in learning from my peers and seniors as there is so much more knowledge than what can be imparted from just curriculum and coursework. Therefore, I intend to make the most of the networking opportunities available through Schulich’s tightly knit alum base. Moreover, Schulich’s strong linkages in alums and recruiters in the industry where I want to make my career will provide me with the best opportunity to accomplish my short- and long-term career goals.  

Instructions for Part 1:  Based on your post-MBA goals and what drives you in your personal and professional life, why is the Texas MBA the ideal program for you and how do you plan to engage in our community? (500 words)

I am an avid gamer. Be it the latest gadgets or new versions of gaming consoles; you need to remain updated to stay ahead of the pack. I have developed a sense of constant improvement using the latest technology through gaming. In my current job, I brought my tech-savvy attributes. As a result, I broke the monopoly of local firms and introduced competition in the fertilizer market, achieving a staggering 29% per annum growth. I love bringing new ideas to the table that can revolutionize the industry’s supply chain and operations. I am a dedicated innovator, and after doing my MBA, I would seize the opportunity to work as a strategic consultant experiencing a diverse array of business challenges and solving the pressing issues of the industries. In the long run, I would love to set up my business which extensively uses technology for its operations.

For an MBA program, I am looking for a degree where I have exposure to major technology firms and where I can have a platform for testing my business acumen. I am particularly impressed by McComb’s dynamic case-based pedagogy and cutting-edge research opportunities. However, I am much more excited about hands-on experience outside the classroom. McComb’s MBA+ program is an ideal opportunity where I can learn and hone my leadership skills. I am thrilled by its micro consulting projects, where I dream of working with some of my dream companies, such as 3M, Cisco and BCG. Using MBA+ program experience, I am confident in improving my managerial skills, which can help me achieve my short-term goals.

Additionally, I would love to become an operations fellow and bring my experience working and revolutionizing fertilizer industry operations in China. As mentioned above, I want to start my own business in the long term, and Venture Labs is an ideal platform where I can learn and test my entrepreneurial skills. I can utilize Venture Labs’ resources and support to run pilot projects and chalk out a plan for my long-term career.

Besides this, I can bring my unique style and personality and contribute positively to different student organizations. I am very fond of Chinese cuisine and would love to cook traditional dishes for Graduate Epicurean Club. For the past two years, I have a hands-on experience working within a factory, and I look forward to sharing my skills with the Graduate Operations Group. On top of it, I want to start Chinese Graduate Business Association (CGBA). I strongly feel that China is highly underrepresented in business schools in the US. Using CGBA’s platform, I want to introduce Chinese business and industry to the international business community.

Therefore, I firmly believe that Texas MBA is ideally aligned with my personal and professional aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2:  The University of Texas at Austin values unique perspectives and cultivates a collaborative environment of distinct individual contributions. It is the first day of orientation. You are meeting your study group, comprised of five of your classmates from various backgrounds. Please introduce yourself to your new team, highlighting what drives you in your personal and professional life. (250 words)

I am an avant garde. I like to innovate and constantly search for new ideas which can satiate my desire of standing out in the crowd. I lead the team which revolutionized fertilizer industry of China. I am a participative leader. I like to create an environment where top management and subordinates learn from each other to create positive synergies. I stand up to my values of integrity. I started importing PlayStation consoles but soon I found substandard business practices and left the business. I remained jobless for two months, but I never gave up my values. I learn from my mistakes. From my PlayStation consoles import business loss, I learnt the hard lesson of not going by the face value of the business but research it thoroughly.

I have deep compassion for the underprivileged members of my society. I consider it as my moral duty to help the marginalized members of our community. During my free time, I teach and inculcate the importance of learning and education amongst underprivileged. I am an avid gaming fan. I have won and organized national level gaming tournaments throughout my undergraduate.

I am a challenge seeker and have a drive for excellence. By seeking an MBA degree, I want to challenge my own self. I want to start my career in strategic consulting post MBA. I am a dreamer and in the long run, I want to start my own world class strategic consulting firm.

Instructions for Part 1:  Columbia Business School’s students participate in industry focused New York immersion seminars; in project based Master Classes; and in school year internships. Most importantly, our students are taught by a combination of distinguished research faculty and accomplished practitioners. How will you take advantage of being “at the very center of business”? (100-500 words)

I intend to utilize the next five years to expand my horizons and fill a position that allows me to formulate and execute crucial strategic decisions for my company in Brazil. For this purpose, immersion seminars taking place at Columbia carry great importance. Decision and Operation, Management, and Competitive Strategy seminars are just a few that I already have my eyes on.

Being part of these immersion seminars offers a vital experience and an excellent opportunity to interact with industry practitioners and veterans. “It’s combining the best of academia and the business world in a place – New York City – where you can’t beat the opportunity to have students experience the real business world and meet C-suite leaders week after week,” reads a personal favorite quote of mine from Barry Salzberg regarding the Immersion Seminars. From a project management background, most of my initial learning was through my family elders. Accompanying them to work and observing their business ways proved an immense boost, showing me how direct interaction with practitioners can help to learn.

Working with core names in the management consulting sector, financial services and data analysis firms will only help my professional growth. Ehud Houminer is one name that needs to be mentioned; his experience in domestic and international business strategy and manufacturing industries aligns perfectly with what I seek.

I’m particularly interested in the consulting industry of the big apple. Working with firms like McKinsey, Brain, and BCG – involved directly with clients from day one – is a treasure trove of experience for me to discover. Additionally, BCG has a dedicated recruitment drive for Columbia’s students, which betters my odds of landing an internship (and possible a post-MBA job) at the consultancy giant.

Alternatively, Google offers a variety of managerial internships every year in the bustling city of New York. The Internet-related services giant has multiple departments for ambitious individuals, such as myself, to apply. These range from product Management and Finance to Business Strategy and Operations. The golden opportunity to get involved with Google in identifying acquisitions and investments, monetizing strategies for products, or developing partners in emerging markets would clarify the process of venture selection and risk assessment.

There’s tremendous exposure to be had while living in the bustling city of New York. An MBA from Columbia Business School will undoubtedly significantly and positively impact my growth. It’s the tipping point from where I’ll begin a new journey as a leader for change in the future, not for my business ventures but the employment industry of Brazil as a whole.

Instructions for Part 2:  CBS Matters, a key element of the School’s culture, allows the people in your Cluster to learn more about you on a personal level. What will your Clustermates be pleasantly surprised to learn about you? (100-250 words)

It wasn’t until I graduated from one of Brazil’s top-ranking universities that I realized how severely my nation suffers in providing opportunities for fresh graduates. It’s an unfavorable scenario to sustain bright minds. Smacked between the inability to choose between jobs and underwhelming compensation only push ambitious souls to travel abroad to taste luxury and success. 

As I like to term it, this brain drain from Brazil needs to be addressed. Instead of pointing fingers at an incompetent government and festering corruption, those with the means must take it upon themselves to convince our finest minds to stay and contribute toward a better future for us all.

It warms my heart to see various corporations directly involved in trying to improve on this significant social aspect. I intend to join their ranks one day and support my country in one way or another. I believe that the fastest way to address unemployment is through the industry. I plan to incorporate educational tools in my workplace to change people’s thinking patterns and accentuate their reasoning abilities. It may take half a century, but I am hopeful that if realized, my plan would make Brazil one of the world’s most competitive economies.

Instructions:  Please describe why you are pursuing an MBA? Why Rotman? Why now? (500 Words)

My academic background, industry experience and strong interest in new business developments equip me with excellent credentials to shine in the Desautels MBA program.

I graduated from the University of Toronto with an interdisciplinary degree. The broad spectrum of topics covered during my undergraduate program gave me a much more comprehensive understanding of how companies conduct their day-to-day operations and interact with society.

I have worked at multiple companies with a national presence in Canada, as my resume depicts. I have led numerous teams, negotiated with national brand business leaders, and always managed to deliver the highest quality service to our customers and business partners. During this journey, I have refined my interpersonal skills. I believe that without good communication skills, a person limits their potential to achieve the desired goals in professional life. In addition, I am a keen reader and am always working to improve myself further and adapt to a constantly changing globalized work environment.

In my previous endeavours, I have implemented strategies that have streamlined and modernized different processes, such as the customer service department and vendor management systems. During this time, my interest in corporate development increased significantly, and I decided to work in the sector in the future. Since then, I have tried to break into the corporate department of Big financial firms but have been unable to do so due to a lack of skill set and not having an MBA degree which is a requirement.

After my MBA, I intend to leverage my newly learned skills to change career paths and enter the financial services industry. I plan to join the corporate department of a top-tier bank where I can grow professionally while at the same time contributing positively to the growth of the organization.

My long-term career goal is to achieve a Director Level position in a major bank such as TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank or BMO. After acquiring the necessary tools and experience required to manage a large-scale global business, I plan to achieve that position by completing my MBA, starting in a product management position and working my way up.

An MBA from Rotman is a perfect fit for the roadmap I have set for myself to achieve my future career goals. It will complement my past work experience and fill the knowledge gaps I find lacking in my understanding of the business world. In addition, as a two-year program, it will provide me with the opportunity to undertake an internship in the financial sector, essentially retooling me to succeed in that sector.

Merely graduating from a good business school like Rotman does not guarantee success in today’s competitive work environment. The people at Rotman understand that, and that’s why they provide their students opportunities in co-curricular activities, such as the option to join different clubs and research centres. During my time at Rotman, I intend to join the Rotman Finance Association to develop new skills in the field and enhance my network of industry contacts. I would also look forward to taking part in case of competitions to hone my leadership skills. In addition, it would be an incredible opportunity to use the BMO Finance Research and Trading Lab to deepen my understanding of the financial markets by learning to use analytical tools.

Rotman admits that only the top talent from all over the world from an incredibly diverse range of academic and professional backgrounds will provide me with a truly global experience, hence preparing me for success in any environment. Lastly, its strong and diverse alumni network is what I am excited to be a part of.

Every MBA program requires applicants to write a personal statement, also known as a statement of purpose.

The school provides instructions on what to include in your piece, and most business schools have something unique to ask for. 

The MBA personal statement allows you to tell the admissions committee (adcom) about yourself.  

It also gives you a chance to tell the business school about your personality, liking, ambitions, and whether your goals and vision align with the program. The essay helps the panel learn about you as a person.

These essays are essential to your application, allowing you to market yourself and prove your mettle to the admissions panel.  It is not just a mere listing of your experiences or your resume  but a more coherent way of telling them who you are and why you will be a worthy addition to their program. 

It allows the program to understand what you value the most. Of course, a stellar personal statement will not guarantee admission, but it is crucial to your application. 

Yes, every MBA program requires a personal statement. 

However, most MBA programs will instruct what and what not to include in your essay. Therefore, you need to make sure that you follow  the instructions  provided to you. 

Sometimes these essays have word limits; for example, some business schools require a personal statement of no more than 500 words, whereas some have no word limit. So, before writing yours, ensure you have read and understood the instructions clearly.

Business schools are very welcoming when it comes to guiding applicants. So, if you have any specific concerns regarding the essays or feel confused about anything, it is always a good idea to  contact the schools admissions office . Remember that you will be investing time and money in applying to these B-schools, so seek clarification when necessary.

Sometimes you may want to talk about certain things that you cannot fit coherently into your statement. In that case, nearly all MBA programs allow you to write such information in an  ‘Optional Essay’  or  ‘Additional Information  section of the application. 

You can write about extenuating circumstances such as  Low GPA , mediocre   GRE/GMAT scores , or highlight any other significant achievements that you could not include in your essays or elsewhere in your application. Don’t try to squeeze everything into your statement of purpose – instead, use the additional essay to talk about the other things.

What Makes a Good MBA Personal Statement?

A perfect MBA essay shares some common elements.

All good MBA essays accurately depict who you are – not what you think the admissions committee will like.  So be genuine and communicate that clearly to the reader.  

Admissions panellists read hundreds of applications every year, and they can tell when you are lying. Talk about things that concern you – setbacks, weaknesses, health issues, depression, etc. 

Avoid making excuses and face your demons. For example, if spirituality, the purpose of life, etc., have recently played a lot on your mind and have shaped your personality lately, then talk about it with enthusiasm. 

If you are looking forward to an MBA because of some discomfiting experiences in your current field and, as a result, you want to switch, be straight about it. 

However,  don’t talk about ambitions not supported by your background . For example, if someone tells you that MBA programs admire applicants with a lot of volunteer work,but you don’t have any, so better not make it up.

Every applicant has a different story from the rest. 

Tell that. 

You will often stumble upon some successful applicants’ essays, and you will be inspired by them so much that you would want to imitate the story. 

That’s a bad idea. Do some introspection and reflect on that in your essay. 

For example, tech MBA programs like Stanford and GA tech get many similar technology-based startup failure stories from applicants with no background in startups. The internet is full of such stories, and you will likely encounter one. Don’t let such cliched stories influence your thoughts.

Schools want  diversity . 

If your research tells you that a specific MBA program is big on admitting applicants from a management consulting background and your goal is e-commerce, don’t hesitate to discuss it. Likely, such a business school don’t hear many e-commerce stories, so if you write one, it will catch their attention.

Your goals matter a lot. The more specific they are, the better it is. 

While telling about your career goals, don’t deploy generalized statements such as “I want to join consulting.” 

Instead, say, “ I want to be a part of management consulting such as McKinsey or AT Kearney focusing on the public sector in Malaysia. ” 

The first will make your goals unclear; the second statement will somewhat narrow down your goals. 

Show the reader that you are aware of the industry you want to be in and make your application a lot more credible.

Every business school is different from another. 

Do a lot of research about the program you are applying to. 

Don’t just go through the MBA school’s website. Get in touch with the alumni or on Linkedin. Talk to them. 

If you know someone in your network which has been a part of this school, talk to them. Try to get the inside details and specificities from them. They will tell you things you won’t find on the school’s website. 

Join   social media groups, follow Reddit, and try to find out what other applicants won’t know as much as possible.  

Then put this in your application – use this inside information to show why you are a good fit. 

Show the admissions committee that you have gone the extra mile to know everything possible about the program.

Many MBA schools conduct  live online Q&A sessions  and informative  webinars  these days. Be an active part of those and ask questions there. Then, put the answers in your application. 

This will show your passion for joining them and help you tell them that you align well with your vision. 

For example, everyone knows about the Harvard case study methods – it’s all over their website. However, at Harvard, very few know about experiential learning (solving real-world problems).

Since most business schools share personal statement instructions, it is important not to stray from them. Moreover , the essays have word limits  – so be wise with your writing. 

Keep the essays professional, and don’t be too humorous. You don’t need to be bland, but remember that the MBA is a serious degree, and the admissions committee expects  maturity  and professionalism from the applicants. So be  professional  but at the same time, be  conversational .

Most people don’t know about a brag sheet and its importance.

Writing a personal statement for the MBA program is time-consuming and requires 80-100 hours.

Moreover, you must write and rewrite 10-15 drafts before seeing a satisfactory final version.

But before you start writing a personal statement, you must do some introspection – soul-searching. First, you need to recall and list all your major or minor achievements over the years. Then, take a deep dive into your professional and academic history.

You can use a brag sheet to identify and list everything you can bring to an MBA program.

A brag sheet is a sketch of your essay. Then, expand on your brag sheet to make a final version of your personal statement.

Don’t be shy to brag about yourself. Just don’t sound patronizing – firmly show off your differentiating achievements.

Here is a template that you can use to make a brag sheet and then use it to start building your statement.

PROFESSIONAL & ACADEMIC

• Describe an interesting work project.
• Have you ever been promoted at work? If so, elaborate on it.
• List all awards or honours you have received in college, at work, or otherwise.
• Have you done any public speaking ever?
• What are your computer skills?
• Have you ever started up a business – large or tiny?
• What are your short-term career goals (directly after graduating from business school)?
• Where do you see yourself in 10-20 years?
• Why do you want to earn an MBA?

EXTRA-CURRICULAR

• List  all  languages you know and note the degree of proficiency.
• Where have you travelled and lived? List continents, countries, and exciting cities.
• List all the places where you have worked voluntarily.
• List all of your interests and hobbies.
• List all extra-curricular involvement (major and minor) during college.
• Have you ever managed anyone at the office or in an extra-curricular setting?
• Have you published anything? 
• Do you have any patents?
• Do you participate in any sports? Have you run a marathon? Are you part of a basketball league?
• Describe a time you failed.
• What are your three most significant weaknesses?
• Describe all the defining moments in your personal life and at work. You can write about any experiences, books, meetings etc. that have changed the way you think or your path. 
• Discuss any hardships, personal or professional.
• Are you married? Do you have children?
• What are your favourite books?                                        
• What soft skills make you unique?
• What does your immediate family do, and where are they from? What is your cultural heritage? Does your family have any unique traditions?

In general, business schools are looking for creative intelligence, leadership, teamwork skills, vision/innovation, and a demonstrated record of success in their candidates. So, make sure to add anything related to these traits in your brag sheet. 

Your MBA Essay must be:

• A genuine narrative and your true reflection.
• A unique and different story.
• Try not to copy or be influenced by stories from other successful MBA essays.
• Stay within the boundaries of the essay topic and do not stray from that.
• Use compelling and robust language.
• Review several drafts before submitting the best one.

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

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Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

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Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

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Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

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Gre prep online guides and tips, how to write a stand-out personal statement for grad school.

If you’re applying to graduate school, you’ll likely need to write a personal statement. But what exactly is a graduate school personal statement? And what should you write about to give yourself your best shot at admission?

In this guide, we teach you how to write a personal statement for grad school, step by step. But first, let’s go over how the personal statement differs from the statement of purpose as well as what schools look for in a great graduate school essay.

What Is a Graduate School Personal Statement?

A graduate school personal statement is an admission essay that typically focuses on your personal reasons for wanting to enter a grad program and particular field of study. Essentially, you must tell the story of who you are and how you developed your current research interests.

So is a personal statement for graduate school the same thing as a statement of purpose? Well, not always (though it can be). Here are the general distinctions between the two essay types:

• Statement of purpose:  A formal essay that summarizes your academic and professional background, research interests, and career goals. In this essay, you’ll usually explain your reasons for applying to grad school and why you believe the program is a good fit for you (as well as why you’re a good fit for it!).
• Personal statement: A less formal essay that focuses on your passion and motivation for wanting to enter your chosen field and program. This statement is typically more flexible than the statement of purpose, with a bigger emphasis on storytelling. Schools often encourage applicants to discuss (relevant) challenges in their lives and how they’ve overcome them.

Both the graduate school personal statement and statement of purpose are usually anywhere from one to three double-spaced pages long, depending on the program you’re applying to.

Below is a chart comparing the personal statement and statement of purpose:

Usually, the personal statement and statement of purpose are considered two different graduate school essay types.

But this isn’t always the case. While some schools consider the personal statement and statement of purpose two distinct essays, others use the names interchangeably.

For example, Michigan State University’s College of Engineering  considers them two distinct essays, while The Ohio State University uses “personal statement” to describe what is essentially a statement of purpose.

Many schools require just one essay  (and it’ll usually be the statement of purpose, as it’s the more academic one). But some, such as the University of Michigan , ask for both a personal statement and statement of purpose, while others, such as  Notre Dame’s Creative Writing MFA program , want an essay that combines the features of both!

Ultimately, the type of graduate school essay you  submit will depend entirely on where you’re applying.

What Do Schools Look For in a Personal Statement?

Many grad schools require a personal statement in order to learn more about you, your interests, your struggles, and your motivations for wanting to enter a field of study. Through this essay, schools can get to know you on a deeper, more intimate level and learn about you in ways they can’t through transcripts and letters of recommendation alone.

But what specifically do universities look for in a great personal statement for graduate school? Here are some of the most important elements to include in your essay.

A Compelling Story

First off, your personal statement must tell a story. After all, this essay is basically your autobiography: it introduces who you are, your interests and motivations, and why you’ve decided to apply to grad school.

Unlike the statement of purpose, the personal statement should focus mostly on your personal history, from your failures to your triumphs. All experiences should tie back to your field or research area, emphasizing what you’ve learned and what this means in terms of your potential as a grad student.

Since you’re talking about yourself, be conversational in your storytelling: use an authentic voice, open up about your experiences, and maybe even throw in a joke or two. Though you’re still writing an essay for school, it’s generally OK to be a little more informal here than you would in a statement of purpose.

That said, there are a couple of things you absolutely shouldn’t do in your personal statement.

• Open your essay with a quotation. Professors have heard the quotation before and don’t need (or want) to hear it again. Plus, quotations often take up too much space in an already short essay!
• Use clichés. Think of unique ways to tell your story and grab readers’ attention. Schools want to see you can be creative yet honest about yourself, so avoid clichés like the plague (see what I did there?).
• Get too creative. Your goal is to look like a serious, committed applicant—not a wacky risk taker—so write clearly and avoid any unnecessary distractions such as images, colors, and unprofessional fonts.

Most importantly, remember that your graduate school personal statement should focus on your successes. Try to use strong, encouraging words and put positive twists on difficult experiences whenever possible. It’s OK to mention your setbacks, too—just as long as you’re discussing how you ultimately overcame (or plan to overcome) them.

Inspirations for Your Research Interests

Schools don’t only want to see clearly defined research interests but also  why you have these particular interests.   While the statement of purpose elaborates on your professional goals, the personal statement explains what personally motivated you to explore your interests.

For example, in my personal statement for a Japanese Studies MA program, I wrote about my hot-and-cold relationship with the Japanese language and how a literature class and a stint abroad ultimately inspired me to keep learning.

Don’t make the mistake of going way back to the beginning to start your essay. Many applicants open their statements with something along the lines of “I fell in love with psychology when I was ten years old” or “It all started when I was in high school.” But these broad statements lack the creativity and zest needed to secure an acceptance, so avoid them at all costs.

Your Motivation for Applying to Grad School

Your statement of purpose should explain why grad school is a practical next step in your professional life—but your personal statement should focus on what personally motivates you to take this step.

Generally, schools want answers to the following questions:

• Why is grad school an appropriate step for you now?
• How will a graduate degree help you achieve your goals?
• Why didn’t you apply to grad school earlier (if you took time off after undergrad)?
• Were there any struggles or problems you faced that prevented you from applying to grad school before?

Be honest about why you’re applying, both to grad school and the program in particular. In my graduate school essay, I discussed how my passion for Japanese literature and desire to translate it inspired me to seek advanced language training at the graduate level.

Strong Writing Skills

A great personal statement shows that you can write cogently and coherently. After all, strong writing skills are imperative for success as a grad student!

So in addition to telling a good story, make sure you use correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Use paragraphs to break up your thoughts, too. Because the personal statement is slightly less formal than the statement of purpose, feel free to play around a little with paragraph form and length.

Also, remember that  good writing doesn’t necessarily equal big words.  You’re writing about yourself, so use words that come naturally to you. Don’t grab a thesaurus and start throwing in a bunch of high-level vocabulary wherever you can; this will make your essay sound less authentic, not to mention stiff.

On the other hand, don’t get too colloquial. You’ll lose respect if you start inserting conversational words such as “gonna” and “gotta.” Therefore, look for the middle ground and write from there.

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Explanations for Any Hiccups in Your Academic Career

Lastly, the personal statement  gives applicants a chance to explain any problems or changes in their academic histories, such as low grades or gaps in education.

Because transcripts and resumes are severely limited in what information they give, schools often use the personal statement to understand your reasons for abrupt changes in your resume and/or transcripts, and to see how you’ve overcome these barriers in your education (and life).

Essentially, a personal statement equalizes the playing field by giving you full rein to explain yourself and emphasize your success over any struggles you’ve had.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Grad School: 9-Step Guide

The personal statement is a fiercely important part of your grad school application. In this section, we teach you how to write a memorable personal statement for grad school so that you’ll have a better shot at getting accepted.

Step 1: Start Early

Personal statements (actually, grad school applications in general!) take a lot of work, so don’t put off writing your essay until the week before your deadline. Rather, try to start working on your essay at least two or three months before your application is due.

You might want to give yourself more time to write it if you’re currently in school or working a demanding job. Setting aside more time lets you work on your graduate school essay routinely without having to squeeze in too many hours each week.

If you only have a month or less until your application deadline, get started on your essay pronto! Though it’s possible to write a personal statement quickly, I recommend carving out more time so that you can put more thought and effort into what you write and how you present yourself. (Doing this also gives others more time to edit your essay for you! We’ll cover this more in later steps.)

Step 2: Read the Instructions

Perhaps the most important step is to read your program’s instructions for the personal statement. Not following these instructions could very well result in a rejection, so always read these first before you start writing! Most programs put their personal statement instructions on their application materials pages.

Your program should give you the following information:

• What type of content your personal statement should include or generally focus on (you might even get an actual prompt to answer!)
• How long your statement should be
• What type of heading, if any, you must include on your statement
• How to save and submit your statement (e.g., .docx, PDF, etc.)

For example, let’s say you’re applying to the History PhD program at UC Berkeley . In this case, your personal statement can’t exceed 1,000 words (three double-spaced pages). You must also answer this prompt :

Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include information on how you have overcome barriers to access in higher education, evidence of how you have come to understand the barriers faced by others, evidence of your academic service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of your leadership among such groups.

On the other hand, if you were to apply for an MS in Mining, Geological, and Geophysical Engineering at the University of Arizona , your personal statement would follow these parameters:

Your personal statement is an opportunity to sell yourself, in terms of your research interests, research experience and research goals. Unless you have extensive research experience, most personal statements should be about two single-spaced pages. Your writing should be clear, concise, grammatically correct and professional in tone. You may convey some personal experiences that have led to your current interests or that make you a particularly promising candidate.

Clearly, grad programs can approach personal statements quite differently. Some schools consider them the same as statements of purpose and want a formal focus on academic and research interests, while others want applicants to explain more informally the challenges they’ve overcome to get to this point.

Simply put,  follow your program’s directions exactly in order to give yourself your best shot at admission.  And if any part of the instructions is unclear, don’t hesitate to contact your program!

Step 3: Figure Out Your Angle

Your “angle,” or focus, in your graduate school personal statement will depend on a few key factors:

• What your grad program wants you to write about
• Your field of study and research interests
• How much experience you have in your field

As I mentioned in step 2, it’s extremely important to  read the personal statement instructions for your program. Many times these guidelines will tell you what to include in your essay, thereby clarifying what your overall angle needs to be.

Let’s look back at the example we used above for UC Berkeley’s doctoral program in history. If you were applying here and came from a low-income family, you could discuss how you’ve overcome these financial challenges in your life to get to where you are today.

No matter the prompt, you’ll need to discuss your research interests (to some degree) in your personal statement.  How much you talk about your interests, however, will depend on whether you have to submit a separate statement of purpose. If so, you can focus less on your research plans and more on your passions and motivations for applying.

On the other hand, if your personal statement is essentially a statement of purpose, dive deep into your research interests—that is,  be specific! For example, those applying to English lit programs should think about the works, eras, and writers they want to study, and why.

More broadly, though, try to answer the question of  what you hope to accomplish, either during or after the program. Is there any particular project you want to do? Skills you want to improve? Field you want to break into?

Finally, always choose a positive angle.  Use affirmative words and phrases to highlight both your successes and overall enthusiasm for the program.

Step 4: Ask Yourself, “Why This Program? Why This Field?”

Although the statement of purpose usually answers this question directly, you’ll likely need to address this in your personal statement as well—ideally, with a less academic and more conversational tone.

As you brainstorm, try to come up with answers to the following questions:

• What goals or experiences led you to apply to this program?
• How will this program help you grow on a personal level?
• What made you interested in this field? Why do you want to study it more?
• What are your research interests? How did you develop these interests?
• Are there any particular professors you wish to work with?

Step 5: Make an Outline

Now that you’ve brainstormed some ideas, it’s time to start outlining your essay.

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How you choose to outline your statement is up to you. Some people like drawing bubble charts for organizing their thoughts, whereas others (like myself) prefer to write a list of rough ideas in the general order they want to present them.

Even if you’re not sure whether you want to include something, just add it to your outline anyway. You can always cut it out later as you draft and edit.

Step 6: Draft Your Essay

It’s now time to start writing! Once you’ve got your outline ready, work on expanding what you’ve written into full-fledged paragraphs.

In the beginning, it’s OK to write down anything you feel is relevant, but as you continue to draft, try to look for any extraneous information you can chop.

Remember, most personal statements will be short— usually one to two double-spaced pages—so you don’t want to risk exceeding your program’s word limit. Schools want to see that you can tell a story concisely yet effectively.

If you’re having trouble coming up with a way to open your statement, try skipping around as you draft. Go ahead and jump to a paragraph you have more ideas for—it’s perfectly OK! Just make sure you start to tie all of your ideas together the closer you get to finishing your draft.

On a related note, be careful not to copy any material from your statement of purpose (if you’re required to submit two separate essays). These statements may share a little overlap but should still focus on different aspects of your (academic) life, accomplishments, and goals.

Step 7: Get Feedback

Once you finish drafting, give your essay to people you trust for feedback. This could be a parent, friend, sibling, or mentor (such as a former or current professor).

Ask your editors to give you  specific feedback  on what you can change, both stylistically and technically, to make it more impactful. Ideally, they’ll also note any unclear, awkward, or redundant ideas/phrases and will offer you helpful suggestions for improvement.

If you’ve written a separate statement of purpose, see whether your editors are willing to check that essay over as well so that you can ensure there isn’t too much overlap between the two.

Step 8: Revise & Edit Your Essay

Once you get feedback, revise and edit your personal statement using your editors’ comments as a guide.

For example, if your editors told you your essay lacked detail, look for places in your writing where you can be more specific and that are likely to have a strong impact on the admission committee.

As you revise, keep an eye out for any awkward sentences or extraneous information. Personal statements are usually pretty brief and you don’t want to accidentally exceed the word limit. So when in doubt, take it out!

Step 9: Proofread

The final step is to proofread your draft. Start by using your computer’s spell check function to quickly find any glaring typos and grammatical errors.

Then, proofread your essay one sentence at a time. Since it’s easy to miss errors in your own writing, I recommend editing your essay from back to front (i.e., from the last sentence to the first sentence). Doing this prevents you from glossing over words and lets you pinpoint punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors more easily.

In addition, check that you have page numbers on each page (if required—though I suggest adding them regardless) and a proper heading (again, if required) that meets the requirements of your program.

Before you submit it, see if you can get someone else (preferably one or all of your editors from step 7) to look over your final draft as well.  If anyone spots a problem with your essay, go back to step 8. If you get all thumbs ups, read over your statement one last time and then turn it in without looking back! (Seriously, don’t read it again or you’re going to want to change something.)

The Key to a Great Graduate School Personal Statement

The personal statement is an essential part of your grad school application. Like the statement of purpose, it highlights your research interests, experiences, and goals.

But more importantly, the personal statement showcases  your unbridled passion for your field, lets you reflect on challenges you’ve faced (and subsequently overcome), and answers the overarching question of why you want to attend grad school.

A great graduate school personal statement will normally include most or all of the following elements:

• A compelling story
• Inspirations for your research interests
• Your motivation for applying to grad school
• Strong writing skills
• Explanations for any changes or problems in your academic career

Above, we walked you through how to write a personal statement for grad school. To recap, here are the nine steps to follow:

• Start early—at least two or three months before your application is due
• Read your program’s instructions for the personal statement
• Figure out your angle by brainstorming ideas
• Ask yourself, “Why this program/field?”
• Make an outline using charts, a list, etc.
• Draft your essay
• Get specific feedback from multiple editors
• Revise and edit your essay
• Proofread (and get other people to proofread it, too!)

What’s Next?

Need to write a statement of purpose, too? Waste no time!  Our expert guide offers tons of tips to help you come up with a statement of purpose that’s certain to impress admission committees.

Do your schools require a CV or resume?  If you’re totally lost on where to begin, read our guides to learn how to put together a great CV or resume for grad school. And for extra help, check out our four original CV and resume templates !

What do you need to submit for your grad school application?  Get the scoop on what kinds of materials you’ll need to prepare when applying to grad school .

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Author: Hannah Muniz

Hannah graduated summa cum laude from the University of Southern California with a bachelor’s degree in English and East Asian languages and cultures. After graduation, she taught English in Japan for two years via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel. View all posts by Hannah Muniz

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Writing a Winning Personal Statement for Grad School Tips and Advice for Standing Out as a Graduate Program Candidate

Applying to graduate school can be a significant step toward reaching academic and career goals, which can make the admissions process even more intimidating. Along with gathering letters of recommendation, taking exams and submitting transcripts, prospective graduate students typically have to write personal statements to include with their applications. The personal statement is an oft-elusive element of the grad school application, but it fulfills a specific and significant need in the eyes of admissions committees. By learning about the personal statement and its role, getting familiar with this essay's key elements and soaking in tons of advice from an admissions expert, graduate school applicants can prepare to write outstanding personal essays that can help them land spots in their ideal graduate programs.

• What is a Personal Statement?
• Personal Statement Components
• How to Write a Winning Statement

Personal Statement Example

Additional resources, what's the personal statement on a grad school app.

Graduate school applications often have prospective students include personal statements. These help admissions committees get to know the person behind each application. A personal statement is a short essay that introduces a grad school candidate and his or her personal reasons for applying to a particular program. While metrics such as GPA and test scores can give an admissions committee an idea of a student's qualifications, they are impersonal and don't indicate whether a candidate would be a good fit for a given program. "Metrics only show one small part of the entire picture," says career coach and former university admissions representative Meg Radunich. "Graduate programs care about the person behind the standardized test score and grade point average. A personal statement is the only part of the application where a candidate gets to make their own case for what they can add to the cohort of incoming first year students."

Students may get applications that ask for statements of purpose, or statements of intent, as well as personal statements. With such similar names, it's no surprise that many students wonder whether there is a difference. Depending on the program and writing prompt, a personal statement and a statement of purpose may fill the same need in the eyes of the admissions committee. In cases where both are required, however, things can get a little tricky. In general, the statement of purpose focuses more on a student's reasons for applying to that particular graduate program and may address topics such as career and research goals, how his or her academic track record demonstrates qualification for that particular school or program of study and how a given program will impact the student's future.

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By contrast, personal statements usually lend more freedom when it comes to content and form and are intended to give the admissions committee a glimpse into a candidate's personality. This narrative essay combines specific, self-reflective anecdotes with details about past experiences (internships, volunteer experiences, etc.) and a clear delineation of a student's goals and interest in the prospective graduate program to provide a fuller picture of the applicant. This combination, often unaccompanied by an explicit writing prompt or set of instructions, can make even the most practiced essay writers freeze up. Familiarizing themselves with the ins and outs of writing strong personal statements for graduate school can alleviate stress and ease the process of sending out those applications.

Components of a Successful Personal Statement

Because personal statements are individual to the applicant, there is no one-size-fits-all way to write them. However, there are a few key elements of strong personal statements that prospective graduate students should keep in mind as they write.

• Broad Understanding
• Vulnerability and Sincerity
• Awareness of Audience
• Individuality

When writing personal statements, students may feel pressured to tell admissions committees everything about themselves. People are multifaceted, and it seems extra important to hit all your personality highlights and accomplishments. However, the personal essay isn't meant to be an autobiography or a long-form reiteration of the applicant's resume. "One major mistake I see all the time is students who try to tell too much in the personal statement," says Radunich. "Tell one or two specific stories or scenarios really well instead of having a broad focus and attempting to tell your life story. The goal of the essay is to get an interview, one-on-one face time that will you allow you to divulge more. Use that personal statement to tease them just enough so they feel like they need to get you in for an interview to learn the rest of your story."

• An MFA program applicant could build his statement around a sculpture class reluctantly taken during sophomore year of undergraduate study that encouraged him to experiment and ultimately changed his art style and approach. This is more telling and interesting than meandering through a lifelong love of art that began at childhood.
• Students should try to keep the scope of their personal statements within the past few years, as admissions committees are generally most interested in applicants' undergraduate experiences.

The best personal statements have clear purposes and easily draw readers in. Students should be cautious about turning their personal statements into risky or edgy creative writing projects and instead maintain a strong narrative structure using anecdotes for support when necessary. "Everyone loves a coming-of-age story," Radunich says. "Remember that the faculty have a vested interest in admitting students who will be fun for them to work with and watch grow." Applicants should determine which key points about themselves are most important to make and then choose situations or experiences that demonstrate those points. This serves as the main content of the personal statement. It's important that students remember to keep anecdotes relevant to the specific programs to which they are applying and to make it clear how the experiences led them to those programs.

• A prospective engineering student who volunteered abroad might set the scene by writing about how working with members of the local community who had their own innovations based on supplies that were readily available in their area, like flip phone batteries and dismantled mopeds, challenged her exclusively Western understanding of infrastructure and exposed holes in her knowledge.
• She could follow up with brief but concrete examples that showcase both hard and soft skills relevant to her program of study, like how experience as a resident assistant affirmed her desire to help people, and her senior thesis project pushed her to reach out to others and collaborate for the sake of better research.

Along with a focused narrative, grad school applicants should demonstrate for the admissions committee why they want to attend this program and how doing so relates to their place academically, locally and globally. Radunich notes that strong personal statements show that candidates understand the "big picture" of the profession and the true meaning and impact they will have in their communities.

Applicants often feel as if they have to show how highly accomplished and impressive they are in their personal statements, but Radunich stresses the significance of being honest and vulnerable. "It helps the reader connect. Admissions deans read enough essays from 23-year-old applicants who brag about their accomplishments and think they have life figured out." Acknowledging faults or weaknesses shows the committee that an applicant is self-aware, teachable and eager to grow.

• "One medical school candidate I worked with wanted to become a psychiatrist due to her own personal experience with anxiety in high school," recalls Radunich. "Instead of hiding this experience, she owned it. Her personal statement was phenomenal as a result."
• Vulnerability should be presented as something that leads to growth rather than an excuse for doing poorly in certain academic areas.

Strong personal statements demonstrate awareness of audience and how content may be received. Radunich advises applicants to think about their essays from admissions deans' perspectives: What would and wouldn't you want to read it if you were in their shoes? As they write, students should remember that admissions personnel must read many personal statements and sort through thousands of applications. Being conscious of how words or stories may be perceived by those with experiences different from their own can be invaluable to students.

• Radunich cites a time when she worked with a student who wrote about her experience providing medical care in a developing country as part of her medical school application: "The student had good intentions, but in writing she sounded patronizing and even condescending when describing her interactions with patients. She had no idea. Remember that people who see the world differently from you will be reading this essay."

One of the biggest keys to writing a successful personal statement is in the name itself. This essay is meant to be personal and completely unique to the writer. "You have full control over this part of your application," Radunich says, urging students to avoid coming across as desperate in their essays. "Fight the urge to ‘shape shift' into whom you think that program wants you to be. You're not going to be a perfect fit for every single graduate program. Be you, and if a graduate program doesn't get it, you most likely aren't going to be happy in that program for the next three or more years." Many applicants may have similar metrics, but each student has different experiences to write about in a personal statement. Students should commit to their experiences and own them rather than err too far on the side of safety, something Radunich says is a common pitfall.

• "Students also make a mistake when they play it safe and write personal statements that have been played out. For example, medical students tend to cite experiencing illnesses, watching family members struggle with their health or wanting to help people as the reason why they want to become a doctor. Admissions deans have to read thousands of these. Make it personal and offbeat. Give them something new to read."

Applicants must take time to ensure their personal statements are tight and free of errors. Radunich stresses the importance of proofreading. "Do not even bother sending in an application with a personal statement that has spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. This personal statement is a reflection of the quality of work you will submit for the program."

One of the hardest parts of writing a personal statement is getting started. These steps and strategies can help prospective graduate students push through the initial hesitation and get on their way to writing winning personal statements.

• Read the instructions. Some applications provide little in the way of guidance, asking prospective students to expand on why they want to apply to the program or supply information on their backgrounds and interests. Others, however, give specific guidelines on content, format, word count and submission method. It's crucial that applicants read and understand what is expected of their personal statements. It won't matter how beautifully crafted the statement is if it doesn't address the prompt or disregards stated length requirements.
• Self-reflect. Before sitting down to write, students should spend a good amount of time thinking about their strengths and what they want to convey to admissions committees. Radunich says it's essential for students to really dwell on what makes them special. "Take time to reflect on your personal brand. What qualities do you bring to a cohort of graduate students that this program doesn't know they need?" When students are confident in their positive qualities, it can make it easier to convince admissions officers the value they bring to any given graduate program.
• Talk to friends and family. Sometimes figuring out how to write about oneself or what elements to highlight can be tough. Radunich says that this is where friends and family can be extremely helpful. She recommends talking those who know you best. "Ask the people who have been with you throughout your journey to provide feedback on who you are and what they've observed. Use them to provide feedback on what you have to offer a graduate program. How would they describe you in five words? This is your ‘essence self' — what makes you stand apart from others."
• Be authentic. "We hear this all the time, but it's the best advice," says Radunich. "Admissions personnel can smell a phony. They know when you're using words outside of your vocabulary or when you're exaggerating what an experience meant to you. They read thousands of personal statements per year and also see which applicants show up as the people they said they were once they're admitted. Don't sell yourself to an admissions panel; present a polished yet real account of who you are and what you care about. This way, the right school will recognize what you bring to the table."
• Keep it relevant. The focus should remain on why the student is qualified and wants to apply to that particular program. Admissions personnel want to get familiar with their applicants, but they mostly want to make sure they choose students who value the program and have specific reasons for applying. For instance, a student may be drawn to a program because one or two faculty members conduct research that aligns with that student's interests. That is something worth mentioning in a statement. Anecdotes and stories bring a personal element, but it's also important to include practical, academic- and career-focused details, too.
• Get feedback from outside sources. It's helpful for students to ask other people to read their personal statements. As Radunich points out, this can help students see how their statements may be perceived by others, and another set of eyes can help a student determine whether or not the essay is engaging and well-organized. Friends, family members, teachers and writing center staff can all be great resources.
• Use specific examples. Grad school applicants should do their best to avoid using general statements or listing their experiences and qualifications. "Use specific examples and strong storytelling to pull the reader into your life and care about you by the end," suggests Radunich. "For example, if you're applying to medical school, give us one specific, personal story about something that happened while volunteering at the hospital that changed your worldview, challenged you and confirmed your goal of being a doctor."
• Address potential shortcomings. The personal statement is an excellent opportunity for a candidate whose metrics aren't top notch to stand out and plead his or her case. "If the student earned less-than-stellar grades during their undergraduate education," notes Radunich, "(the student) can provide some context in the personal statement." Students may not feel this is necessary or be comfortable with this, but it is an option. Applicants should be cautious about how they address any weak points; explanations should not sound like excuses but should be framed in a way that demonstrates perseverance, improvement or the learning that followed those challenges.
• Use space efficiently. Personal statements are generally pretty short, often ranging between 500 and 1,000 words. This means that filler words and phrases, such as "the truth is," or "it's my personal belief that," take up valuable space that could be used to compel admissions into requesting an interview. It's important to convey a clear image in a few paragraphs, so be both concise and precise. In statements allowing longer word counts, keep in mind that more isn't always better. Admissions committees read thousands of personal essays each year, and longer ones may be at greater risk of being skimmed through rather than thoroughly read.
• Draft, edit, repeat. Depending on the program, a student's personal statement can carry considerable weight. It shouldn't be thrown together at the last minute. Allowing for adequate time to write multiple drafts, edit and thoroughly proofread is a must. Have other people proofread and check for grammar before sending in the application; they may catch errors that were glossed over in earlier drafts.

Writing a personal statement can be intimidating, which may make it difficult for applicants to get started. Having enough time to ruminate and write is also valuable and can give students the opportunity to choose a strong point of view rather than feel pushed to write about the first thing that comes to mind. Radunich emphasizes that students who aren't sure what to write about or how to approach writing about themselves should do some considerable brainstorming and get input from those who know them well. Students are often self-critical, especially in high-stakes situations, and they may not realize the positive qualities they may have that stand out to others.

Radunich also offers tips for getting in the mindset of admissions personnel: "They're reading the personal statement and gauging the candidate's fitness for the program. Can this person deal with stress and persevere? Does he/she have grit? Has this person overcome adversity, and does that give us confidence that they can handle the three demanding years of law school? Can this person handle receiving feedback, or will he/she drop out after the slightest bit of challenge or criticism? Can this student tolerate differing viewpoints and be open to growth?" Considering these questions can help guide students through the writing process.

It may also help students to look at example personal statements and see how these key considerations play out in an actual essay. Take a look at this example personal statement from a prospective grad student.

As I approached the convention hall, I wondered if I had gotten the room number wrong. I couldn't hear any signs of life, and I was losing my nerve to open the door and risk embarrassing myself. As I imagined a security guard striding up and chiding me for being somewhere I shouldn't be, a hand reached past me and pushed the door open, jolting me back to the real world. I peeked in. More hands. Hundreds of them. Hands were flying, waving, articulating, dancing . I was at once taken by awe and fear.

You can do this.

I had never planned on taking American Sign Language, and I certainly hadn't planned on it taking my heart. In my first term of college, I signed up for German, a language I had loved the sound of since I was a child. A week before classes began, however, the course section was cut. In my frustration, I decided I would take the first available language class in the course register. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the smartest approach, but it was a decision that completely altered my supposedly set-in-stone plan of becoming a linguist. The complexities of nonverbal language floored me, and I found myself thinking about hand signs while writing essays on Saussure's linguistic signs. I rearranged my schedule so I could take improv classes to help with my facial and body expressions. Theater! That was completely out of character, but I suddenly found myself compelled toward anything that would help immerse me in ASL and deaf culture.

Except actually getting involved in the community.

I knew going to my first deaf convention would be intimidating. My hands shake when I'm anxious, and nothing brings on nerves quite like throwing yourself into a situation where you are a total outsider. Between my limited vocabulary, quaking fingers and fear-frozen face, would anyone be able to understand me? What was I doing here? I had been studying American Sign Language for nearly three years and had somehow managed to avoid spontaneous conversation with the deaf community, and I was terrified. Workbook exercises and casual conversations with classmates — who had roughly the same ASL vocabulary and relied on the same linguistic crutches as I did — had become increasingly comfortable, but immersing myself in deaf culture and community was something entirely different. I was afraid. However, American Sign Language and deaf studies had captured my heart, and I knew this fear was a huge barrier I needed to get past in order to continue working toward my goal of becoming an advocate and deaf studies educator.

It must have been pretty obvious that I was both hearing and petrified, because I was immediately greeted by someone who, very formally and slowly, asked if I was a student and offered to accompany me. This small gesture is representative of how I became so fond of deaf culture in such a short period of time. The hearing community tends toward posturing, indirect communication and a sometimes isolating emphasis on individualism, and my limited experiences within the deaf community have been the opposite. The straightforward communication that exists in a beautifully nuanced and perspicacious language and the welcoming enthusiasm to grow the community is something I intend to be part of. I am an outsider, and I have much to learn, but I want to do everything I can to encourage understanding and exchange between the deaf and hearing communities and make hearing spaces more inclusive, especially for those who have more experience as outsiders than I do.

My devotion to language and learning about culture through communication hasn't changed, but the path by which I want to pursue that passion has. My foray into deaf studies and American Sign Language may have started as an accident, but no matter how nervous I still get when my fingers fumble or I have to spell something out, I am humbled and grateful that this accident led me to a calling that could have remained unheard my whole life.

Brainstorming is an important step in writing a convincing personal essay, and Coggle may be just the tool to help. Coggle is a mind-mapping app that helps users organize their thoughts in visual, nonlinear ways. Users can easily share with collaborators, such as writing coaches, advisers or friends.

Inspiration may strike at any time. Students can make sure they're prepared to jot down any personal statement ideas, gather inspiration and organize their thoughts with Evernote , a popular note-taking app.

Writing personal statements requires distraction-free writing time. However, most students do their writing on their most distracting devices. FocusWriter is a simple tool that helps mitigate the distraction problem by hiding computer interfaces and substituting a clean, clear digital writing environment.

This web browser add-on makes checking grammar quick and easy. Grammarly scans users' text and provides context-specific suggestions and corrections. Detailed explanations of each suggestion help users improve their writing over time.

This subject-specific book is a guide to writing personal statements for graduate school. It includes tons of tips and examples to help students write their application essays.

Microsoft's OneNote app is one of the most popular among those who like to use outlines to gather and organize their thoughts, but its many features make it a great prewriting tool for writers of all organizational preferences.

Mindomo can help grad school candidates brainstorm and pinpoint key elements to include in their personal statements. The app's mind maps, concept maps and outlines help users easily visualize and organize their ideas.

Students who are looking for an advanced editing tool to help them power through their grad school applications might want to look into ProWritingAid , a comprehensive application that helps with basic and advanced editing and addresses issues in style, word choice and structure.

The academic writing standby, Purdue OWL , weighs in on the 10 essential dos and don'ts of personal statement writing.

The UNR Writing Center offers this extensive, alphabetized list of tips on writing, from academic voice to writing introductions, to help with the writing process. Students should also consider consulting their own undergraduate schools' campus writing centers for help as well.

UNC provides specific guidance for students writing personal statements and other significant academic essays. The guidance on this page is not exclusive to UNC, so students from many different schools may find these tips helpful.

Penn State's College of Earth and Mineral Sciences provides this online manual to help students understand and successfully write personal statements and other graduate admissions and scholarship essays. The easy-to-navigate chapters provide many examples and tips to meet a range of criteria.

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International finance and trade personal statement example.

When I considered what should be the next step in my development it was out of the question that I would go for a degree at University. At school I proved to be a successful quick-learner in every subject, yet there were two circumstances that influenced most strongly my final decision in which area to expand my knowledge. Those were my background and experience gained during my school years.

The ever-changing world of business is what I witness every day on the streets and at school, it is an important background for whatever media - radio, television etc. Realizing its influence over world matters of utmost importance as well as such of personal preferences, it is impossible not to acknowledge its dynamic nature. Moreover, all business areas undergo constant development which is to make them better and more successful. But apart from indirectly being a part of the system, it is a whole new world when you are directly involved in it. For the last five years I had the chance to take an active part in the family business thus gained first-hand experience of the business world. All of the above has led me to realizing that no matter what role you want to play in the business world it is vital to know the basic principles as well as being up-to-date. That is why at this point of my personal development I strongly aspire to make my next step as an International Finance and Trade student at the International University College. I am eager to obtain the academic knowledge that will not only explain in theory my experience of many years, but will also introduce me to things I have not known and experienced before.

From my earliest childhood I had been presented the opportunity to oversee the development of a small business in the dynamic atmosphere of world economics. At the beginning I would only help my parents mind the store. But through the years as I advanced academically I developed a deeper understanding of the matter and proved greater efficiency. In the competitive and challenging age, as it is today, it is of great importance to be as effective as possible. In the light of this, the family business instilled some great values in me. Chief among them was the value of hard work. It was a matter of course that every member of the family must give the best he can for the general welfare. I made no exception.

Thus I experienced both the inner, rough side of the business, starting from things like goods supplying, through understanding of cash flow, contracts and conditions, price setting and costs to rivalry and plots, and the outer side of which the general public is aware - marketing, sales consulting, professional service and maintaining an optimistic and productive climate.

I learned a great amount of valuable skills such as scrutinizing complex situations and problem solving, managing multiple assignments, flexibility when setting a priority as to streamline the work process, judicious attitude when making bargains, training and motivating employees to do better than they thought they could. Being a loyal and devoted worker is probably the most important premise for success. And it is not just a question of business, but rather one concerning a person's attitude of mind. I know what I am capable of and always try to do better wherefore mediocrity terrifies me. In my opinion there is no excuse for a lazy mind. I remember reading a thing Jacques Cousteau once said that perfectly fits here. It sounds like this: "When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself". I cannot agree more with him.

As far as education is concerned, it has been of great value to me in view of broadening my conception of the world. The diversity of classes taught at school helped me realize and develop my intrinsic talents, shaped my personality and gave me a clear idea of the best ways to fulfill my potential. I was mostly drawn to mathematics because of the logical and strategic look over things it teaches.

From it I learned to see the big picture as well as being in charge of every little detail. I especially enjoyed the English and German language classes where the knowledge of fluency seemed to come naturally to me. Further on, I got the chance to take part in a school international project called "Media - a meeting point for everyone in Europe". Due to my Ukrainian-Bulgarian origin I found no difficulty in building confidence in interacting with people from different national backgrounds. Because of the focus of the project on the basic ways in which media communicates with people this experience added to my awareness of the manipulation and application of technology.

It allowed me to develop an ability to collect and analyze data in order to distill the essence and present it clearly and concisely. Through this project I became conscious of some of the core principles of marketing, namely flexibility and thinking outside of the box.

Books have made a huge impact on my future goals. I have always been interested in studying biographies of famous people as to analyze their way of thinking and strategies they use in real-life situations. Through reading besides getting to know Plato, Nietzsche, Jung and their philosophies, I met such figures as Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki who deeply influenced my perception of the nature of money and of the world as a whole. From these two mentors I learned some successful principles which have lasted over hundreds of years, I learned what a lifestyle really means as well as what it is worth.

All of the above stand behind my strong aspiration to fulfill my potential. I want to acquire the academic knowledge needed in order to hold privilege jobs and top positions in the future and be able to make the best decisions in the business world. I am ready to take full advantage of the opportunities life presents and dedicated to do more, be more and give more and better my best every day. This is the way in which everyone will benefit.

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How to Write a Stand-Out Personal Statement for Your Graduate School Application

While deciding to embark on the path to graduate school is an exciting first step toward advancing your career, the application process can sometimes feel daunting and confusing.

One major part of the application that most schools require is a personal statement. Writing a personal statement can be an arduous task: After all, most people don’t necessarily enjoy writing about themselves, let alone at length.

A compelling personal statement, however, can help bring your application to the top of the admissions pile. Below, we’ve outlined what you need to know about crafting a personal statement to make your application shine.

What Is a Personal Statement?

The point of a personal statement is for the admissions board to gain a deeper understanding of who you are apart from your education and work experience. It explains why you’re the right fit for the program and a worthwhile applicant. It’s also an opportunity to highlight important factors that may not be readily available in the rest of your application.

A personal statement is different from a statement of purpose (if you’re asked for that as well). A statement of purpose will touch on your academic and career goals, as well as your past credentials. While those should also be discussed in your personal statement, it’s more about your life experiences and how they’ve shaped you and your journey to graduate school.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Personal Statement

Before you start crafting your essay, there are a few prompts you can ask yourself to help clarify what you want to accomplish.

• What are the key points you want to communicate about yourself?
• What personal characteristics or skills do you have that make you a strong candidate for this field?
• What exactly are your career goals, and how does graduate school play into them?
• What have you learned about this field already? When did you first choose to follow this path, and what do you enjoy about it?
• What do you think is important for the admissions board to know specifically about you?
• Are there any discrepancies or causes for concern in your application you need to address? For example, is there a career and schooling gap, or a low GPA at one point? This is the time to discuss whether a personal hardship may have affected your academics or career.
• Have you dealt with any unusual obstacles or difficulties in your life? How have they affected and shaped you?
• What sets you apart and makes you unique from other graduate school applicants?
• What factors in your life have brought you to where you are today?

Top Tips for Writing a Graduate School Personal Statement

Pick a few points to emphasize about yourself . Introduce yourself to the admissions board. Select key factors about your background that you want the university to know — elements that reveal what kind of person you are and demonstrate why you’re a strong candidate for the school and field of study.

Be very specific . Again, a personal statement is all about communicating what distinguishes you from other applicants. To accomplish that, you need to share specific anecdotes that underscore your statements. If you say you’re a strong leader, present an example of a time you’ve proven that skill through work, school or your personal life. These specific, personal stories provide a deeper understanding of who you are and prove your intentions.

Do your research . Demonstrate what attracted you to the program. If there is a specific faculty member or class that caught your attention, or another aspect of the program that greatly interests you, convey it. This shows you’ve truly researched the school and have a passion for the program.

“Whatever the topic may be, I would recommend writing in a manner that reflects or parallels the institution’s and/or department’s missions, goals and values,” said Moises Cortés, a graduate/international credentials analyst for the Office of Graduate Admission at USC .

Address any gaps or discrepancies . Explain any factors that may have impacted your academic career. If you had an illness or any other personal hardships that affected your grades or work, discuss them. If there is a discrepancy between your grades and your test scores, you can also take the time to go over any extenuating circumstances.

Strike the right tone . While it’s important to give readers a glimpse of your personality, avoid oversharing or revealing intimate details of your life experiences. You should also avoid making jokes or using humorous cliches. Maintain a professional tone throughout your writing.

Start strong and finish strong . As with any piece of writing, you want to draw in your readers immediately. Make sure to start off with an interesting and captivating introduction. Similarly, your conclusion should be a well-written, engaging finish to the essay that highlights any important points.

“ For a personal statement, I think the first and last paragraphs are most important and should always relate the program they are applying to their own experiences and ideas,” Hoon H. Kang, a graduate/international credential analyst with the Office of Graduate Admission, told USC Online.

Proofread, proofread and proofread again . We can’t emphasize enough the importance of rereading your work. Your personal statement is also an analysis of your writing skills, so ensure you have proper grammar and spelling throughout. In addition, we recommend having multiple people look over your statement before submission. They can help with the proofreading (a second person always catches a mistake the writer may miss), give advice about the statement’s structure and content, and confirm it’s the proper recommended length.

Once you’ve considered all of the above and reviewed and edited your personal statement to perfection, it’s time to submit and check off any remaining application requirements, including your resume and letters of recommendation .

Personal statements are arguably one of the most challenging aspects of applying to graduate school, so make sure to revel in this accomplishment and acknowledge your successes.

For more information, visit the  Office of Graduate Admission at USC  and explore  USC Online ’s master’s degrees, doctoral programs and graduate certificates.

How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters (17 PDF Sample Examples)

Published: 14 Mar 2022 Study Abroad 103,970 views

A personal statement for masters program is one of the most important parts of your college application and writing a good one is what’s the exception between receiving an offer and being rejected.

If you’ve been tasked with presenting a personal statement, you should keep in mind that whatever you submit must put you forward as the right candidate for the course. Additionally, it should convince the admissions officers that you deserve a place on your program of study.

Achieving the above, is a skill most postgraduate students are yet to acquire but thankfully this article on How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters covers everything you need to know on doing this.

In this article you’ll learn:

• What is a personal statement?
• Tips for making your personal statement for masters stand out
• How to write a personal statement for masters
• Personal statement for masters sample
• Examples of personal statement for masters
• Conclusion – things to avoid when writing a personal statement for masters

Read:  Admission Interview Tips .

What Is a Personal Statement?

A personal statement AKA admissions or application essay or statement of purpose is a type of essay or written statement a candidate presents to a college, university, or graduate school they are applying to, explaining why they want to attend that school, study a particular course, and why they would be a perfect fit for these things.

A personal statement for masters is an essay you submit specifically for your postgraduate application. Writing one presents the opportunity for you to promote yourself to a school and show the admissions teachers that you are the perfect candidate for a course.

Tips For Making Your Personal Statement For Masters Stand Out

Before we get into how you should write a statement of purpose for masters, we would first like to share with you certain tips to include in your essay to make it stand out from that of other applicants and be convincing enough to any admissions officer that reads it. The tips we have mentioned here, cover general things like starting and ending your personal statement, timing, length, and what to include and what not to include in the essay, etc.

1. Starting And Ending A Personal Statement

When starting a personal statement, you would want to right off the bat grab the reader’s attention. To do this, start the statement by writing about your degree of choice, next why you want to study it and then how you got interested in it.

The next 2 sentences after that should cover a summary of your background in the chosen field, and you conclude by saying what you plan to do once you acquire your graduate degree.

Also start with that the evaluators reading want to hear first, then every other information should come second. You will notice we’ve used in the sop examples for masters we will share with you later in this article.

2. Plan Ahead

A personal statement is not something you rush while writing, which means if you want to get something good before you application then you must start to decide things like the length and how long it should take to complete.

Let us throw more light on this…

For length, a personal statement should be brief ranging somewhere between 500 -700 words, although schools often detect how long it should be. So, this is dependent on the institution you are applying to.

In terms of what to say in a statement, you could include personal experiences like why you were driven to apply for the program, an experience you had with a scholar in your chosen discipline, a course you took that inspired you to pursue masters, or a key moment during your studies which further motivated you.

No matter what you decide to write, just keep in mind that you need to take your time to craft something good even if it means creating several drafts before the real thing and do not forget to proofread the statement for errors.

3. Research Your Program Of Study

Researching your program of study is one way to establish that you truly understand the discipline you’re getting into and prove to the admissions officer that you thoroughly thought about it before applying.

And because you want to put yourself forward as a serious candidate, one way to make you research easier is for you to visit the website of the department you are applying to. This page will contain information about faculty members, their specialisation, and publications.

From the intel, you gathered there you can now identify which professors match your interests and which ones you will benefit the most from learning under. After you’ve found this out, relate the same in a sentence or two in your statement of purpose for masters.

Example: “I would be honoured to study under the tutelage of Professor Nadia whose work I found resonated strongly with my beliefs and intended projects in this course”.

4. Avoid Clichés, Junks, And Many Details

When writing a statement of purpose for master degree try to avoid clichés, junks, and unnecessary details so that you don’t lose or bore your readers in between. Be as concise as possible, even if it’s your chance to express yourself.

A personal statement is an opportunity for the admissions committee to get information that tells the that you are suitable for the course. So, when you overpower your statement with too many words, stories, and useless details, you come off as someone who is just trying to meet the word count.

5. Include Your Personal History Only If It Adds To The Statement

Do not include your personal history in your statement of intent for masters if it is not relevant to your purpose of study. This means no need for you to tell that story about that time you helped someone treat a cut and immediately realised that you wanted to be a doctor or nurse or how you developed a taste for reading at a very young age.

We can guarantee you that the hundreds of other applications competing for the same spot you are felt the same way, so saying those things really doesn’t make you unique.

On the other hand, if you are going to add personal history to your statement, you can put in things like an internship you did and the experience you got from the job, a major research project you ran by yourself, publications you’ve read or published, conferences you’ve attended or presentations you’ve done. These experiences are more concrete and are directly related to your program of study. They also set you apart from other applicants.

6. Don't Use The Same Personal Statement For All Your Applications

One common mistake applicant make that you shouldn’t is using the same statement of purpose for master degree for all your applications. Using the same information repeatedly even if you are going to change the university names is risky and could land you in a big mistake on a day you forget to be thorough.

All programmes have their own unique set of questions they want to see answered and information they need in your personal statement.

And even if some of them like extracurricular activities, proposal for project, why you are applying to the school, your unique qualities, and research works you’re doing might appear the same, do not use one statement to respond to all of them.

Write a new unique personal statement every time you want to apply.

Check out:  How to Write a Good CV for Students - Resume Examples for Students (PDF).

How To Write A Personal Statement for Masters

When writing a personal statement for masters there are several steps and ground rules you need to follow to ensure that it comes out good enough to impress the admissions team of a school, and ultimately convince them to give you a spot on your program of study.

If writing one is something you are currently struggling with and can’t seem to get down the process of it right no matter what, this section on how to write a personal statement for masters, discusses in detail everything you need to get help with yours.

There are 4 parts to consider when writing your personal statement and we have listed them below:

1. Planning A Personal Statement

A personal statement is a piece of writing showing your academic interests and is only for application purposes which means there is no room for any autobiographical information in it about your personal life. Be as to-the-point as possible when writing it and stick to telling the school why you are the right person for the course, plus any other extra information detailing your achievements.

Before You Start:

Allot plenty of time to write your msc personal statement so that you don’t rush it. Remember, this simple piece of writing is your one shot at convincing a school that you are the best applicant they’ve seen and as such can either make or break your application.

Read the information expected of you from the university, rules and guidelines given, selection criteria and understand what they mean. Also research the institution.

Do a thorough research on the course you are applying for; this will help you explain better why you want to study it. The tutors interviewing you can tell when you are lying and presenting yourself as uninformed can cost you the admission.

Ensure that you don’t use the same personal statement for all your applications.

When Writing:

When writing the statement there are some questions to ask yourself that can help you plan it better. Those questions are:

• Why you want to study a master’s and how does it benefit you in future?
• How does the course you have chosen fit into your pre-existing skill set?
• How do you stand out from the crowd as an applicant - e.g., work experiences you’ve had in the same field you are applying for?
• What do you aspire to do or be as a future career and how will the course help you achieve that?
• How can your work or skillsets contribute positively to the department/ university you are applying to, or society at large?

On the other hand, if you are applying for the masters to change from the field you studied in your undergraduate to another field, you should tell the school why you decided to take a different path in your studies.

Questions to ask yourself for this include:

• Your reason for deciding to change your discipline.
• How your undergraduate degree will be material for bringing fresh insights into your masters course.
• How changing your study path will help you attain your future career.

2. Structuring A Personal Statement

Having good structure for your personal statement for master degree is important because it ensures that everything from the beginning, middle, and ending of the statement is written and equally falls in place perfectly.

We’ve left some tips for you below to help you:

Start your personal statement with an attention-grabbing introduction that is not dramatic or cliché. That means you should not begin with any of these over-used phrases we’ve listed out below:

For as long as I remember…

Since my childhood…

I want to apply to this course because I’ve always felt a strong connection to it…

All my life, I have always loved…

My interest in (course) always ran deeper than…

I’ve always been zealous about…

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in…

My past educational experiences have always…

You would want to be as snappy as possible with your opening because the admission officer has over a hundred applications to read and can’t waste all their time on yours. This means you should avoid overpowering it with unnecessary facts, quotes, and stories from your life.

The middle part of your ma personal statement is where the main content of the write-up should be. This is where you show your dedication to the course you’ve chosen, what motivated you to choose it, and why you are the right candidate for it.

When writing the middle part of a graduate personal statement, you should:  

• Give concrete reasons why you want to study a course at the University. The reason could be because of how the course is aligned to your future career or the University’s reputation in teaching that program.
• Mention relevant things like projects, dissertations, or essays you’ve done, and any work experience you have.
• Show proof of your core skills like and how they can contribute to the department.
• Prove what makes you a unique candidate.
• Discuss who your main influences for wanting to study the course are and why.
• Add experiences like memberships to clubs that are related to your field, papers you’ve written before, awards, scholarships, or prizes.
• Draw focus to how the course links to your past and future.
• Mention your academic and non-academic skills and how they fit the course.

For Formatting:

• Keep the statement length between 250 -500 words or as directed by the school.
• Sentences should be no more than 25-30 words.
• Use headings to break up the content – Why this university? Why this subject? Etc.
• Make claims and provide evidence to back each of them up. This can be done by discussing your work experience and academic interests.

Language and tone to use:     

• The tone for your masters application personal statement should be positive and enthusiastic, to show you eagerness to learn and so that you convince the evaluators that you have what it takes to succeed.
• Use exciting and refreshing language, and an engaging opening line.
• Ensure you grammar, punctuations, and spellings are accurate.
• Avoid exaggerated claims you cannot backup.
• Don’t use cliché generic terms and keep your focus on the course.

Keep the ending of your essay for master degree application concise and memorable, leaving no doubt in the admission officers mind that you deserve a spot on the program.

To create the best ending summarise all your key points without dragging it our or repeating yourself. The ending should be simple, end on a positive note and make it clear that the school will be lucky to have you on their program.

Personal Statement for Masters Sample

In this section, we have left a masters personal statement example for you, which you can use as material to write yours for any course of study you are applying to a school for.

Personal Statement PDF

You can also download this statement of purpose sample for masters degree pdf here and take your time to read it later – Personal Statement For Masters Sample .

See Also:  Student CV Template .

Examples of Personal Statement for Masters

We have taken the time to source for some of the best postgraduate personal statement examples, which you can use in addition to the personal statement for masters program example as a template to write yours.

While you scroll through our list, you will find the perfect masters essay example for any field you wish to apply for, from business administration, to Psychology, to information technology, and lots more.

1. msw personal statement

We have found one of the best msw personal statement examples out there for you.

social work masters personal statement .  

2. personal statement for masters in public health

mph personal statement examples

3. personal statement for masters in management

Personal statement for master degree sample for masters in management .  , 4. personal statement for masters in education example.

personal statement for masters in education example

5. psychology masters personal statement

psychology masters personal statement example

6. sample personal statement for masters in data science data science masters personal statement

7. speech and language therapy personal statement statement of purpose for masters sample: speech and language therapy

8. business administration personal statement personal statement for masters in business administration

9. personal statement for masters in cyber security pdf masters degree personal statement examples for cyber security

10. personal statement for masters in finance msc finance personal statement examples

11. statement of purpose for masters in information technology pdf msc personal statement examples for information technology

12. international development personal statement statement of purpose for masters example

13. msc international business management personal statement international business management personal statement examples

14. computer science masters personal statement

statement of purpose for masters in computer science pdf

15. personal statement for masters in economics statement of purpose sample for masters degree in economics

16. mha personal statement statement of purpose format for masters in health administration    

Conclusion – Things to Avoid When Writing A Personal Statement For Masters When writing a personal statement for university masters, there are some things you should avoid, so that you don’t ruin your essay. We have listed out those things below: •    Avoid negativity. •    Following an online template blindly. •    Do not include unnecessary course modules, personal facts, or extra-curricular activities in your personal statement. •    Do not lie or exaggerate an achievement or event. •    Do not include inspirational quotes to your statement. •    Avoid using clichés, gimmicks, humour, over-used word such as 'passion' or ‘driven’. •    Do not make pleading statements. •    Avoid mentioning key authors or professors in your field without any explanation. •    Avoid using sentences that are too long. •    Avoid flattering the organisation or using patronising terms. •    Do not repeat information in your statement that you have already listed in your application. •    Avoid waffling i.e., writing at length. •    Don’t start writing your personal statement at the last minute.  

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How to Write a Good Financial Aid Appeal Letter (13 PDF Sample Examples).

How to Write a Good Personal Statement for a Scholarship ( 7 PDF Sample Examples).

How To Write A Good Motivation Letter For Scholarship (4 PDF Sample Examples).

How To Write A Letter Of Intent For Scholarship (4 PDF Sample LOI Example).

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How to Write a Personal Statement for a Scholarship + Examples

What’s covered:, what is the purpose of the scholarship personal statement, what to include in your personal statement, personal statement example: breakdown + analysis, how to make sure your writing is effective.

Either before or after you’ve gotten into your dream school, you’ll have to figure out how to pay for it. For most students, this involves a combination of financial aid, parent contributions, self-contributions, student loans, and scholarships/grants. Because scholarships are money out of someone else’s pocket that you never have to pay back, they are a great place to start!

Scholarships come in two forms: merit-based and need-based. Need-based scholarships are also often called grants. These designations tell you whether an organization looks at your financial situation when deciding about your scholarship.

Additionally, different scholarships fall under different categories based on the mission of the organization or person providing the scholarship’s financing. These missions typically emphasize different things like academic achievement, specific career goals, community service, leadership, family background, skill in the arts, or having overcome hardship. As you select scholarships to apply for and complete your applications, you should keep these missions in mind.

No matter what type of scholarship you are applying for, you will be asked to provide the review committee with standard materials. This includes your transcript, GPA, and resume/extracurriculars, but also, importantly, your personal statement. A scholarship personal statement is a bit different from your normal college essay, so we’ve put together this guide and some examples to help you get started!

The purpose of your personal statement is to help a review committee learn more about your personality, values, goals, and what makes you special. Ultimately, like with your college essays, you are trying to humanize your profile beyond your transcript, GPA, and test scores.

College essays all have one goal in mind (which is why you can apply to multiple schools at once through applications like the Common App or Coalition App): convince admissions officers that you would be a valuable addition to the university environment. The goal of your scholarship personal statement is different and differs more from one scholarship to the next. Rather than convincing various review committees that you are a generally good candidate for extra funding for college, you need to convince each review committee that your values have historically aligned with their organization’s mission and will continue to align with their organization’s mission.

Common missions amongst those who give scholarships include:

• Providing opportunities for students with career ambitions in a particular field
• Helping students who have experienced unexpected hardship
• Supporting students who show outstanding academic achievement
• Funding the arts through investing in young artists with strong technical skill
• Supporting the development of civic-minded community service leaders of the future
• Providing opportunities for historically underrepresented ethnic communities 

If a specific mission like this is outlined on an organization’s website or in the promotional material for its scholarship, the purpose of your personal statement is to show how you exemplify that mission.

Some scholarships ask for your personal statement to be guided by a prompt, while others leave things open for interpretation. When you are provided a prompt, it is obvious what you must do: answer the prompt. When you are not provided a prompt, you want to write a personal statement that is essentially a small-scale autobiography where you position yourself as a good investment. In either case, you should identify a focus or theme for what you are trying to say about yourself so that your application does not get lost in the shuffle.

Prompts include questions like:

• Why do you deserve this scholarship?
• How have you shown your commitment to (leadership/community service/diversity) in your community?
• When did you overcome adversity?
• Why is attending college important to you?

If you are provided a prompt, develop a theme for your response that showcases both your values and your achievements. This will help your essay feel focused and will subsequently help the review committee to remember which candidate you were as they deliberate.

Themes include things like:

• I deserve this community service scholarship because my compassion for intergenerational trauma has inspired me to volunteer with a local after-school program. I didn’t just sympathize. I did something about my sympathy because that’s the type of person I am. Within the program, I have identified avenues for improvement and worked alongside full-time staff to develop new strategies for increasing attendance.
• I overcame adversity when my mother had to have a major surgery two months after giving birth to my younger brother. I was just a kid but was thrown into a situation where I had to raise another kid. It was hard, but I’m the kind of person who tries to grow from hard times and, through my experience taking care of a baby, I learned the importance of listening to body language and nonverbal cues to understand the needs of others (baby and nonbaby, alike).

Without a prompt, clarity can be harder to achieve. That said, it is of the utmost importance that you find a focus. First, think about both your goals and your values.

Types of goals include:

• Career goals
• Goals for personal growth
• The type of friend you want to be
• The change you want to make in the world

Values could include:

• Authenticity
• And many more!

After you write out your goals/values, write out your achievements to see what goals/values you have “proof” of your commitment to. Your essay will ultimately be an exploration of your goal/value, what you have done about your goal/value in the past, and what you aspire to in the future.

You might be tempted to reflect on areas for improvement, but scholarships care about you living out your values. It is not enough to aspire to be exemplary in leadership, community service, or your academic field. For scholarships, you have to already be exemplary.

Finally, keep in mind that the review committee likely already has a copy of your extracurricular activities and involvement. Pick one or two accomplishments, then strive for depth, not breadth as you explore them.

My interest in the field of neuroscience began at a young age.  When I was twelve years old, my sister developed a condition called Pseudotumor Cerebri following multiple concussions during a basketball game.  It took the doctors over six months to make a proper diagnosis, followed by three years of treatment before she recovered.  During this time, my love for neuroscience was sparked as I began to research her condition and, then, other neurocognitive conditions.  Later, my love of neuroscience was amplified when my mother began to suffer from brain-related health issues.  My mother had been a practicing attorney in Dallas for over twenty years.  She was a determined litigator who relentlessly tried difficult cases that changed people’s lives.  Now, she suffers from a cognitive impairment and is no longer able to practice law.  Oftentimes, she has headaches, she gets “cloudy,” her executive functioning slows down, she feels overwhelmed, and she forgets things.  My mother has gone from being the strong, confident, emotional and financial caretaker of our family to needing significant help on a daily basis. Once again, with this illness came a lot of research on my part — research that encouraged me to pursue my dreams of exploring neuroscience.

Due to my experiences with my mother and sister when I was in middle school, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in the field of neuroscience.  I also knew that, to obtain this goal, I needed to maintain superior grades in school while also pursuing opportunities outside of school to further my education.  In school, I was able to maintain superior grades to the point where I am currently valedictorian in a class of 567 students.  In addition, in school, I challenged myself by taking 16 Advanced Placement classes and 19 Honors classes.  Two of the most beneficial classes were AP Capstone Seminar and AP Capstone Research.  AP Capstone Seminar and AP Capstone Research are research-oriented classes where students are given the opportunity to pursue whatever track their research takes them down.  As a junior in AP Capstone Seminar, I researched the effects of harmful pesticide use on the prevalence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in children.  This year, as a senior in AP Capstone Research, I am learning about the effects of medical marijuana on the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  

Outside of school, I furthered my education through taking advantage of the Duke TiP summer program. Duke TiP is a summer program run by Duke University where students who score extremely well on the SAT as middle schoolers are able to take college classes at different universities throughout the summers of their middle school and high school years.  I took advantage of this opportunity twice.  First, I went to Trinity University in San Antonio to expand my horizons and learn more about debate.  However, once I was done exploring, I decided I wanted to go into neuroscience.  This led me to take an Abnormal Psychology class at Duke University’s West Campus.  This class opened my eyes to the interaction between neuroscience and mental health, mental illness, and personality.  Years later, I am currently continuing my education outside of school as an intern at the University of Texas Dallas Center for Brain Health.  Through this internship, I have been able to see different aspects of neuroscience including brain pattern testing, virtual reality therapy, and longitudinal research studies.  With this background, I have positioned myself to be accepted by top neuroscience programs throughout the nation.  So far, I have been accepted to the neuroscience department of University of Southern California, the University of Virginia, the University of Texas, and Southern Methodist University, as well as the chemistry department at University of North Carolina–Chapel Hill.  

It is with this passion for neuroscience driven by my family and passion for education driven by internal motivation that I will set out to conquer my career objectives.  My educational aspirations consist of acquiring a bachelor’s degree in a biological or health science that would assist me in pursuing a medical career as a neuroscience researcher.  I decided to attain a career as a researcher since my passion has always been assisting others and trying to improve their quality of life.  After obtaining my Masters and my PhD, I plan to become a professor at a prestigious university and continue performing lab research on cognitive disorders.  I am particularly interested in disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  In the lab, I hope to find different therapies and medications to help treat the 3.5 million people around the world suffering from ASD.  Furthermore, I want to contribute back to underserved populations that struggle because they do not have as much access to medical assistance as other privileged groups.  As such, I hope to do a part of my research in less developed or developing Spanish-speaking countries. This will also allow me to pursue my love of Spanish while pursuing my love of neuroscience.  I think that following such a career path will provide me the opportunity to learn about the medical needs of the autistic community and improve their quality of health.  Furthermore, I hope to train a new generation of students to strive to research and make comparable discoveries.  Whether it be through virtual reality labs or new drug discoveries, I believe that research leads to innovation which leads to a brighter future. 

This student does a great job of making themself appear competent and dedicated to the field of neuroscience. This is primarily because they provided tangible evidence of how they have pursued their dedication in the past—through their AP Capstone courses, their Abnormal Psychology class at Duke TiP, and their internship at UTD. There is no doubt in the mind of a reader that this student is high-achieving. 

This student also engages successfully with a past-future trajectory, where they end with a vision of how they will continue to use neuroscience in the future. This helps the review committee see what they are investing in and the ways that their money will go to good use.

This student has two major areas for improvement. As we have said, the purpose of a personal statement is for a student to humanize themself to a review committee. This student struggles to depict themself separately from their academic achievements. A solution to this would be for the student to establish a theme towards the beginning of their essay that relates to both their values as a human and their achievements.

At the beginning of the essay, the student explores how their interest in neuroscience began. They explain their interest through the following sentences: “During this time, my love for neuroscience was sparked as I began to research her condition and, then, other neurocognitive conditions” and “Once again, with this illness came a lot of research on my part — research that encouraged me to pursue my dreams of exploring neuroscience.” The student made the great decision to tell the backstory of their interest, but they described their research in very mundane and redundant terms. Instead, they could have focused on their value of intellectual curiosity as a magnetic force that encouraged them to research their mother and sister’s ailments. Curiosity, then, could serve as a value-related thematic throughline to taking AP Capstone classes, taking college courses during the summer that weren’t required, and interning before even graduating high school.

A second area for improvement would be avoiding statistics. As the student identifies their valedictorian status and the number of AP classes they have taken, they might turn away certain personalities on a review committee by appearing braggy. Even further, these statistics are a waste of space. The review committee already has access to this information. These words distract from the major theme of the essay and would have been better used to humanize the student.

Throughout my academic career, I have been an avid scholar, constantly pushing myself towards ambitious goals. I held and continue to hold myself to a high standard, enrolling myself in rigorous curriculum, including Honors and Advanced Placement courses to stretch my mental potential. During my junior year of high school, I took four AP tests, two on the same day, and earned the AP Scholar with Honor Award. Additionally, I received the Letter of Commendation for the PSAT/NMSQT, and qualified for Rotary Top 100 Students both my freshman and senior year, a sign of my commitment to my studies. However, school has not been all about having the best GPA for me; beyond the numbers, I have a deep drive to learn which motivates me to do well academically. I truly enjoy learning new things, whether it be a new essay style or a math theorem. I always give each class my best effort and try my hardest on every assignment. My teachers have noticed this as well, and I have received school Lancer Awards and Student of the Month recognitions as a result. It is a major goal of mine to continue to aspire towards a high level of achievement regarding future educational and occupational endeavors; I plan on continuing this level of dedication throughout my educational career and implementing the skills I have learned and will learn into my college experience and beyond.

This fall, I will begin attending the University of California Los Angeles as an English major. I chose this major because I am fascinated by written language, especially its ability to convey powerful messages and emotions. I also enjoy delving into the works of other authors to analyze specific components of their writing to discover the meaning behind their words. In particular, I cannot wait to begin in-depth literary criticism and learn new stylistic techniques to add more depth to my writing. Furthermore, I recently went to UCLA’s Bruin Day, an event for incoming freshmen, where I was exposed to many different extracurriculars, some of which really piqued my interest. I plan on joining the Writing Success Program, where I can help students receive free writing help, and Mock Trial, where I can debate issues with peers in front of a real judge. The latter, combined with a strong writing background from my undergraduate English studies will be extremely beneficial because I plan to apply to law school after my undergraduate degree. As of now, my career goal is to become a civil rights lawyer, to stand up for those who are discriminated against and protect minority groups to proliferate equality.

As a lawyer, I wish to utilize legislation to ameliorate the plight of the millions of Americans who feel prejudice and help them receive equity in the workplace, society, and so on. Though this seems a daunting task, I feel that my work ethic and past experience will give me the jumpstart I need to establish myself as a successful lawyer and give a voice to those who are often unheard in today’s legal system. I have been a Girl Scout for over a decade and continually participate in community service for the homeless, elderly, veterans, and more. My most recent project was the Gold Award, which I conducted in the Fullerton School District. I facilitated over ten workshops where junior high students taught elementary pupils STEM principles such as density and aerodynamics via creative activities like building aluminum boats and paper airplanes. I also work at Kumon, a tutoring center, where I teach students to advance their academic success. I love my job, and helping students from local schools reach their potential fills me with much pride.

Both being a Girl Scout and working at Kumon have inspired me to help those in need, contributing significantly to my desire to become a lawyer and aid others. My extracurriculars have allowed me to gain a new perspective on both learning and teaching, and have solidified my will to help the less fortunate. In college, I hope to continue to gain knowledge and further develop my leadership skills, amassing qualities that will help me assist others. I plan to join multiple community service clubs, such as UCLA’s local outreach programs that directly aid residents of Los Angeles. I want to help my fellow pupils as well, and plan on volunteering at peer tutoring and peer editing programs on campus. After college, during my career, I want to use legal tactics to assist the underdog and take a chance on those who are often overlooked for opportunities. I wish to represent those that are scared to seek out help or cannot afford it. Rather than battling conflict with additional conflict, I want to implement peaceful but strong, efficient tactics that will help make my state, country, and eventually the world more welcoming to people of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. These goals are close to my heart and therefore I will be as diligent as I am passionate about them. My perseverance and love for learning and community service drive my ambition in both education and life as a whole, and the drive to make the world a better place is one that I will carry with me for my entire life.

This student emphasizes two values in this essay: hard work and community service. These are values that go together nicely, and definitely make sense with this student’s end goal of becoming a civil rights lawyer! That said, some changes could be made to the way the student presents their values that would make their personal statement more convincing and engaging.

Structurally, instead of using a past-future trajectory, this student starts by explaining their academic achievements, then explains their career goals, then explains their history of community service, then explains their future desires for community service. This structure loses the reader. Instead, the student should have started with either the past or the future. 

This could look like 1) identifying their career goals, 2) explaining that hard work and a commitment to community service are necessary to get there, and 3) explaining that they aren’t worried because of their past commitment to hard work and community service. Or it could look like 1) providing examples of their hard work and community service in the past, then 2) explaining how those values will help them achieve their career goals.

Additionally, like with our other example, this student shows a heavy investment in statistics and spouting off accomplishments. This can be unappealing. Unfortunately, even when the student recognizes that they are doing this, writing “beyond the numbers, I have a deep drive to learn which motivates me to do well academically. I truly enjoy learning new things, whether it be a new essay style or a math theorem,” they continue on to cite their achievements, writing “My teachers have noticed this as well, and I have received school Lancer Awards and Student of the Month recognitions as a result.” They say they are going beyond the numbers, but they don’t go beyond the awards. They don’t look inward. One way to fix this would be to make community service the theme around which the essay operates, supplementing with statistics in ways that advance the image of the student as dedicated to community service.

Finally, this student would be more successful if they varied their sentence structure. While a small-scale autobiography can be good, if organized, every sentence should not begin with ‘I.’ The essay still needs to be engaging or the review committee might stop reading.

Feedback is ultimately any writer’s best source of improvement! To get your personal statement edited for free, use our Peer Review Essay Tool . With this tool, other students can tell you if your scholarship essay is effective and help you improve your essay so that you can have the best chances of gaining those extra funds!

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The power of a personal mission statement, and other lessons from a recent graduate

By Joel Burt-Miller, MPH ’23

June 3, 2024 — I am about to begin an exciting new chapter of my career as one of 10 new residents in the U.S. pursuing dual training in family medicine and psychiatry. Reflecting on how I got to this point, I have learned some important lessons. I’ve laid them out here in the hopes they might resonate with others seeking to define their paths.

Define your life’s mission

My introduction to the field of public health came as a freshman at Brandeis University, in a course on inequities in health care and health outcomes. It ignited a flame in me and led me to define a clear mission for my life: I would advocate for the inequitably resourced, both locally and globally. I would serve and heal both individuals and communities. I would focus not just on treating disease, but on supporting a holistically healthy life.

My journey from that point took many twists and turns, but throughout, I held tight to that mission statement. It helped me evaluate each opportunity with clarity and purpose.

Be open to new interests

When I entered medical school at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, I planned to go into primary care. Then came the COVID-19 pandemic, which also exposed an ongoing mental health crisis. I became invested in finding a solution. I designed a research study based on the South African philosophy of Ubuntu that used small groups, called Ubuntu groups , to effectively address the social isolation and burnout experienced within my learning community while promoting a sense of belonging. That project sparked my interest in psychiatry. Yet, I remained committed to preventive medicine as well.

Was it possible to accommodate my interest in both fields of medicine? Through a quick Google search, sure enough, I found five residency programs combining family medicine and psychiatry.

Seek mentors (even when it’s daunting!)

The existence of these programs was promising — but I wanted to know more. With piqued curiosity, I entered the same search terms, “family medicine and psychiatry,” on LinkedIn. To my delight, someone popped up: Rohit Abraham. His bio described him as a ‘Combined Psychiatry & Family Medicine Resident at Boston Medical Center.’

I decided to take a leap of faith. Though I’d never met Rohit, I sent him a message. I hoped he would be kind enough to respond but was also prepared for a reality where he would not. A few hours later, he replied, and we scheduled a time to speak over Zoom.

In our conversation, I gained much more than knowledge of his career path in medicine. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I gained a lifelong mentor.

Don’t be afraid to take detours

In our initial conversation, Rohit explained why he saw his combined residency as an ideal pathway: He was training to provide comprehensive primary care that would let him address both the physical and the mental health needs of urban underserved populations, with an intersectional focus on substance use disorders.

Reviewing his bio on LinkedIn, I noticed that during medical school, Rohit had pursued an MPH in health policy at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health as a Zuckerman Fellow. When I asked him about the program, he explained that he wanted to address health disparities at both the clinical and policy levels. He expected the dual MD and MPH degrees would help him do that. His goal sounded so much like my own life’s mission. I was inspired.

In just one conversation, my new mentor had opened the door to a possibility I had not dreamed of before.

I applied to the Zuckerman Fellowship program and gained acceptance, prompting me to take a year away from medical school to pursue an MPH.

The degree program exposed me to many new experiences. In my practicum, I worked with MassHealth to disseminate state funding to local communities to expand mental health services. A Harvard case study also introduced me to Boston Medical Center’s model of care, which aims to provide consistently excellent and accessible health services to all in need, regardless of status or ability to pay.

With each new experience, I was able to better articulate how I could achieve my life’s mission.

Keep looking for new lessons

I returned to medical school for my final year shortly after receiving my MPH. And just a few months ago, I learned that I matched at my first-choice residency program at Boston Medical Center — following in Rohit’s footsteps.

As I reflect on my path, I can see how much it helped me to define my life’s mission clearly — and then to keep myself open to considering different ways to achieve it. I can also see how important it was to take a few leaps of faith along the way, including reaching out to a stranger I hoped might be able to give me some guidance.

I’m thrilled to launch into this new stage of my career. I know I’ll learn many new life lessons along the way, so long as I keep myself open to the power of possibilities.

Joel F. Burt-Miller is a resident in the combined family medicine and psychiatry program at Boston Medical Center. He holds an MPH in health policy from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, an MD from the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, an MS in biomedical sciences from Duke University, and was a 2022-2023 Zuckerman Fellow at Harvard.

Photo: Kent Dayton

Bill Walton, one of basketball’s most eccentric characters, dies at 71

Bill Walton, a Hall of Fame center who authored a career that was triumphant and tragic, as well as colorful and controversial, died Monday at the age of 71 after a battle with cancer, the NBA announced .

Walton was regarded as one of the most dominant and versatile centers to ever play, which translated to two state titles with Helix High in La Mesa, Calif., two NCAA titles at UCLA and two NBA titles, one with the Portland Trail Blazers in 1977 and one with the Boston Celtics in 1986. In 1993, he was elected into the Naismith Hall of Fame, and in 1997, the NBA named him one of the Top 50 players of all time.

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“Bill Walton was truly one of a kind,” NBA commissioner Adam Silver said in a statement. “As a Hall of Fame player, he redefined the center position. His unique all-around skills made him a dominant force at UCLA and led to an NBA regular-season and Finals MVP, two NBA championships and a spot on the NBA’s 50th and 75th Anniversary Teams. Bill then translated his infectious enthusiasm and love for the game to broadcasting, where he delivered insightful and colorful commentary that entertained generations of basketball fans. But what I will remember most about him was his zest for life. He was a regular presence at league events — always upbeat, smiling ear to ear and looking to share his wisdom and warmth. I treasured our close friendship, envied his boundless energy and admired the time he took with every person he encountered.

“As a cherished member of the NBA family for 50 years, Bill will be deeply missed by all those who came to know and love him. My heartfelt condolences to Bill’s wife, Lori; his sons, Adam, Nate, Luke and Chris; and his many friends and colleagues.”

“Bill was so much more than basketball, he was larger than life,” the Blazers said in a statement. “His upbeat and vibrant personality will forever be remembered and cherished, and he will be deeply missed by our organization, Rip City and all who experienced him.”

When Walton flew into Portland, Ore., in October 2009, he was surprised to find tears streaming down his cheeks.

As the legendary center looked out the window of the plane, he was flooded with memories. He had returned to Portland many times since he left in 1979, the result of a hastily requested trade. But for some reason, this time, at age 56, he was overcome with emotions. There was the satisfaction and appreciation of a team coming together to win the 1977 NBA title. The agony of multiple surgeries on his feet and ankles. The anger and confusion of how his medical care was handled. And the regret of how he handled it all.

The next day, before a Trail Blazers home game, Walton explained his emotions to a group of reporters.

“I’m here to try and make amends for the mistakes and errors of the past,” Walton said. “I regret that I wasn’t a better person. A better player. I regret that I got hurt. I regret the circumstances in which I left the Portland Trail Blazers’ family. I just wish I could do a lot of things over, but I can’t. So I’m here to apologize, to try and make amends, and to try and start over and make it better.”

Ironically, Walton was in Portland to be feted. Oregon governor Ted Kulongoski was honoring him with the Governor’s Gold award, given annually to four people or organizations who have made great contributions to the state. And the Trail Blazers had invited him to headline a fundraising event. But as the governor and the franchise prepared to celebrate one of its greatest athletes, Walton was revealing the complexity behind his legacy.

Ten years later, on another return to Portland, he looked back on that 2009 flight into Portland.

“It was very sad,” Walton told The Athletic . “I always try to self-reflect, and when you are living a life that is on stage, on camera, out in front, the minute it gets quiet, that’s when the true answers come to you … when it’s too late.”

Walton’s greatness on the court was unquestioned. In high school, Walton’s teams won their final 49 games. At UCLA, he was the NCAA’s player of the year for three consecutive seasons (1972-74), a span that included a string of 88 consecutive victories. In the NBA, he won the 1978 Most Valuable Player award with the Trail Blazers and the 1986 Sixth Man of the Year award with the Celtics.

But behind many of his triumphs was the tragic disappointment of injuries. Walton had 39 surgeries during his playing career, mostly on his feet and ankles, which caused him to miss 762 games over 13 seasons. Three times he missed an entire season because of injury. In his autobiography, Nothing But Net , Walton wrote that his biggest regret was playing hurt.

“I didn’t let pain be my guide,” Walton wrote. “I didn’t say, ‘If it hurt a lot, don’t play.'”

He said he suffered a knee injury on the playground as a youth and was never the same.

“My legs were pretty much shot by the time I got to the NBA in 1974,” Walton wrote. “I peaked when I was 12.”

When healthy, few were more versatile or more dominant. He was a brilliant passing big man, both in the half court and by initiating the fast break after a rebound with an outlet pass. He was 6-foot-11 and long, which helped him become an effective shot blocker. Those who played with Walton called him the ultimate teammate, who helped elevate their game. Still, never was Walton more ready to step to the forefront than in big games.

In the 1973 NCAA title game against Memphis State, Walton had 44 points, 13 rebounds and seven blocks while making 21 of 22 shots in UCLA’s 87-66 win. Walton made four other shots that were disqualified and ruled offensive goaltending because of a then-NCAA rule prohibiting dunking. The previous season, in 1972, Walton had 33 points in the national semifinal, then led all scorers with 24 points in the title game, helping UCLA beat Florida State 81-76, which earned him the first of his two Most Outstanding Player awards.

In Game 6 of the 1977 NBA Finals, Walton had 20 points against Philadelphia , plus 23 rebounds, seven assists and eight blocks as Portland clinched the series and won its only NBA title. Walton in the series averaged 18.5 points, 19 rebounds, 5.2 assists and 3.7 blocks and was named NBA Finals MVP.

His most gratifying moment, Walton said, came at the end of his career, after he was traded from the LA Clippers to the Boston Celtics. Accepting a reserve role backing up Robert Parish, Walton played in 80 of the 82 regular season games and 16 of the Celtics’ 18 playoff games. Averaging 7.6 points, 6.8 rebounds and 2.1 assists in 19 minutes, Walton beat out Milwaukee ’s Ricky Pierce and Sacramento ’s Eddie Johnson for the Sixth Man of the Year award, and helped Larry Bird and Kevin McHale win another title. Walton called it “my greatest personal playing accomplishment.”

“I never had a better time playing,” Walton wrote in his biography. “Aside from winning, my favorite moments on the court came when I was out there with Larry Bird. It’s safe to say our styles were complementary.”

In a four-part documentary on Walton called “The Luckiest Guy in the World,” producer Steve James interviewed Bird about playing alongside Walton. Bird told James that Walton was as good as anybody when healthy.

“When Larry Bird said that, I mean, Larry Bird is not a guy who just throws around compliments,” James told The Athletic . “When he said he was one of the best ever, I said: Centers?

“And he said, no. Players.”

The next season would be Walton’s last, limited to 10 games because of injury.

“When he was right, I think he was the best center playing the game,” said Dave Twardzik, a guard on Portland’s title team.

In the turbulent 1970s, with the Vietnam War raging and Watergate eroding the confidence in the United States government, Walton became more than just a basketball player. He became a voice in the counter-culture movement.

He was arrested in May 1972 on the UCLA campus for protesting the escalation of the Vietnam War, and a picture capturing Walton sitting down on Wilshire Blvd. with arms peacefully raised before his arrest, was circulated widely in newspapers and magazines.

Walton told author Tom Shanahan that he believed in peaceful protests then, and always.

“Protesting is what gets things done,” Walton said. “The drive for positive change requires action. The forces of evil don’t just change their ways.”

And in 1975, a week after his second season with the Trail Blazers, Walton took part in a San Francisco news conference defending friends Jack and Micki Scott, who at times lived with Walton in Portland. The FBI was pursuing the Scotts for harboring members of the Symbionese Liberation Army, who had kidnapped Patty Hearst, and the Scotts disavowed any wrongdoing. Walton asked the world to “stand with us in the rejection of the United States government” while also calling the FBI “the enemy.”

The Trail Blazers were outraged by Walton’s comments, and owner Herman Sarkowsky, team president Larry Weinberg, and executive vice president Harry Glickman issued a statement.

“The Portland Trail Blazers deplore Bill Walton’s statement calling for the rejection of the United States Government. The United States is the freest and most democratic nation in the world. We and the people throughout the world recognize this,” the Blazers said in their statement. “The American system, despite its imperfections, has been and continues to be the have which oppressed people throughout the world yearn to reach. We believe the National Basketball Association is an example of the opportunities available to people under the system of government, and Walton, more than most, has reaped extraordinary benefits from this system.”

At the time, it was not unusual for an athlete to speak out on political or social issues. Arthur Ashe, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bill Russell, Muhammad Ali … all took stands and were unafraid to voice their opinions. They all were Black. Walton was White.

“He was arguably the most outspoken White superstar, certainly in college, of that time,” James said. “To this day, there aren’t many White players of stature who speak out with regularity about capitalism … politics … whatever. Bill was a real outlier, in part because he was White, and in part because athletes at that time were trying to toe the line. They were viewed as culturally conservative.”

Years later, Walton argued against the notion that athletes should focus on their sports and not voice their opinions.

“Sports encompasses all aspects of life,” Walton told Hal Bock of The Associated Press in 1991. “It’s unfortunate when people use the argument that it is not a platform for politics … I believe you can’t stop and put sports in a vacuum. Just because people are involved in a special thing like sports, that doesn’t prevent them from taking a position.”

For the younger generation, Walton may only be known for his second career: broadcasting, where he was an over-the-top, and at times zany, color commentator for college and NBA games.

The irony was Walton grew up with a stutter and struggled with interviews in college and the NBA. When Walton was 28, he said he met New York Knicks broadcaster Marty Glickman, who gave him a series of tips on how to correct his stutter, which included slowing your thoughts down, reading out loud and chewing sugarless gum to strengthen jaw muscles. He also told Walton to identify the sounds that gave him trouble — for Walton it was words with D, H, S, Th and W — and find books or articles with those words and practice.

NBA 75: At No. 64, Bill Walton's injury-plagued career couldn't obscure his greatness

Walton, who would later become a paid public speaker, often cited in his presentation that learning to speak was “my greatest accomplishment   … and your worst nightmare.”

In 1990, Prime Ticket Network hired Walton as an analyst. Soon, he was everywhere. He had stints with NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, ESPN, Turner Sports and most recently was providing color commentary for ESPN broadcasts of Pac-12 basketball. In 2001, he received an Emmy for best live sports television broadcast. No matter the network, or the stage, Walton was always spouting outrageous, off-the-wall commentary.

Awful Announcing made a list of Walton’s most outlandish broadcast moments. A sampling:

“Yesterday, we celebrated Sir Isaac Newton’s discovery of gravity. Today, Fabricio Oberto is defying it.”

“If you ever think you’re too small to make a difference, you’ve never spent a night in bed with a mosquito, or you’ve never played basketball against Taylor from Utah — No. 11 in your program, No. 1 in your heart.”

“John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!”

“Tonight’s start was electric. Just both teams riding quasars all the way to the top of the mountain to the promised land!”

When Walton descended upon Portland on that October day in 2009, another factor led to his emotional state: He was a reborn man.

During 2007 and ’08, Walton was absent from the airwaves. No television. No radio. No appearances. He was on his back, in misery, and contemplating suicide.

“I had been in the hospital, on my death bed, wanting to kill myself. For years,” Walton said in 2009. “I was in a terrible spot.”

In February 2009 he had a spinal fusion, and it not only eased his pain but also gave him a fresh outlook. It’s why he was so eager to repair his relationship with the Trail Blazers, and why he once again became an avid bike rider, and once again started attending what he called “church” — concerts of the Grateful Dead, of which he has attended more than 1,000 shows.

He was happy, with a feeling of accomplishment, and he wanted to spread the word. He called himself the “luckiest man in the world” and he believed it.

“When you face death, it changes you,” Walton said. “And you are never the same again.”

Related reading

• NBA 75: At No. 64, Bill Walton’s injury-plagued career couldn’t obscure his greatness
• ‘Tonight, I will not sleep.’ Bill Walton: A text exchange, a call, and the tao of Bill

(Top photo of Bill Walton: NBA Photos / Getty Images)

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Jason Quick is a senior writer for The Athletic covering the Portland Trail Blazers. From Damon Stoudamire to Damian Lillard, he has covered the team for over two decades. He has been named Oregon Sportswriter of the Year four times by the National Sports Media Association and has been recognized by APSE and the Pro Basketball Writers Association. Follow Jason on Twitter @ jwquick

OpenSAFELY: Effectiveness of COVID-19 vaccination in children and adolescents

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Background Children and adolescents in England were offered BNT162b2 as part of the national COVID-19 vaccine roll out from September 2021. We assessed the safety and effectiveness of first and second dose BNT162b2 COVID-19 vaccination in children and adolescents in England.

Methods With the approval of NHS England, we conducted an observational study in the OpenSAFELY-TPP database, including a) adolescents aged 12-15 years, and b) children aged 5-11 years and comparing individuals receiving i) first vaccination with unvaccinated controls and ii) second vaccination to single-vaccinated controls. We matched vaccinated individuals with controls on age, sex, region, and other important characteristics. Outcomes were positive SARS-CoV-2 test (adolescents only); COVID-19 A&E attendance; COVID-19 hospitalisation; COVID-19 critical care admission; COVID-19 death, with non-COVID-19 death and fractures as negative control outcomes and A&E attendance, unplanned hospitalisation, pericarditis, and myocarditis as safety outcomes.

Results Amongst 820,926 previously unvaccinated adolescents, the incidence rate ratio (IRR) for positive SARS-CoV-2 test comparing vaccination with no vaccination was 0.74 (95% CI 0.72-0.75), although the 20-week risks were similar. The IRRs were 0.60 (0.37-0.97) for COVID-19 A&E attendance, 0.58 (0.38-0.89) for COVID-19 hospitalisation, 0.99 (0.93-1.06) for fractures, 0.89 (0.87-0.91) for A&E attendances and 0.88 (0.81-0.95) for unplanned hospitalisation. Amongst 441,858 adolescents who had received first vaccination IRRs comparing second dose with first dose only were 0.67 (0.65-0.69) for positive SARS-CoV-2 test, 1.00 (0.20-4.96) for COVID-19 A&E attendance, 0.60 (0.26-1.37) for COVID-19 hospitalisation, 0.94 (0.84-1.05) for fractures, 0.93 (0.89-0.98) for A&E attendance and 0.99 (0.86-1.13) for unplanned hospitalisation. Amongst 283,422 previously unvaccinated children and 132,462 children who had received a first vaccine dose, COVID-19-related outcomes were too rare to allow IRRs to be estimated precisely. A&E attendance and unplanned hospitalisation were slightly higher after first vaccination (IRRs versus no vaccination 1.05 (1.01-1.10) and 1.10 (0.95-1.26) respectively) but slightly lower after second vaccination (IRRs versus first dose 0.95 (0.86-1.05) and 0.78 (0.56-1.08) respectively). There were no COVID-19-related deaths in any group. Fewer than seven (exact number redacted) COVID-19-related critical care admissions occurred in the adolescent first dose vs unvaccinated cohort. Among both adolescents and children, myocarditis and pericarditis were documented only in the vaccinated groups, with rates of 27 and 10 cases/million after first and second doses respectively.

Conclusion BNT162b2 vaccination in adolescents reduced COVID-19 A&E attendance and hospitalisation, although these outcomes were rare. Protection against positive SARS-CoV-2 tests was transient.

Competing Interest Statement

BG has received research funding from the Laura and John Arnold Foundation, the NHS National Institute for Health Research (NIHR), the NIHR School of Primary Care Research, NHS England, the NIHR Oxford Biomedical Research Centre, the Mohn-Westlake Foundation, NIHR Applied Research Collaboration Oxford and Thames Valley, the Wellcome Trust, the Good Thinking Foundation, Health Data Research UK, the Health Foundation, the World Health Organisation, UKRI MRC, Asthma UK, the British Lung Foundation, and the Longitudinal Health and Wellbeing strand of the National Core Studies programme; he is a Non-Executive Director at NHS Digital; he also receives personal income from speaking and writing for lay audiences on the misuse of science. BMK is also employed by NHS England working on medicines policy and clinical lead for primary care medicines data. IJD has received unrestricted research grants and holds shares in GlaxoSmithKline (GSK).

Funding Statement

The OpenSAFELY Platform is supported by grants from the Wellcome Trust (222097/Z/20/Z); MRC (MR/V015757/1, MC_PC-20059, MR/W016729/1); NIHR (NIHR135559, COV-LT2-0073), and Health Data Research UK (HDRUK2021.000, 2021.0157). In addition, this research used data assets made available as part of the Data and Connectivity National Core Study, led by Health Data Research UK in partnership with the Office for National Statistics and funded by UK Research and Innovation (grant ref MC_PC_20058). BG has also received funding from: the Bennett Foundation, the Wellcome Trust, NIHR Oxford Biomedical Research Centre, NIHR Applied Research Collaboration Oxford and Thames Valley, the Mohn-Westlake Foundation; all Bennett Institute staff are supported by BG's grants on this work. The views expressed are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the NIHR, NHS England, UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) or the Department of Health and Social Care.

Funders had no role in the study design, collection, analysis, and interpretation of data; in the writing of the report; and in the decision to submit the article for publication.

Author Declarations

I confirm all relevant ethical guidelines have been followed, and any necessary IRB and/or ethics committee approvals have been obtained.

The details of the IRB/oversight body that provided approval or exemption for the research described are given below:

This study was approved by the Health Research Authority (REC reference 20/LO/0651) and by the London School of Hygeine and Tropical Medicine Ethics Board (reference 21863).

I confirm that all necessary patient/participant consent has been obtained and the appropriate institutional forms have been archived, and that any patient/participant/sample identifiers included were not known to anyone (e.g., hospital staff, patients or participants themselves) outside the research group so cannot be used to identify individuals.

I understand that all clinical trials and any other prospective interventional studies must be registered with an ICMJE-approved registry, such as ClinicalTrials.gov. I confirm that any such study reported in the manuscript has been registered and the trial registration ID is provided (note: if posting a prospective study registered retrospectively, please provide a statement in the trial ID field explaining why the study was not registered in advance).

I have followed all appropriate research reporting guidelines, such as any relevant EQUATOR Network research reporting checklist(s) and other pertinent material, if applicable.

Data Availability

All data were linked, stored and analysed securely using the OpenSAFELY platform, https://www.opensafely.org/ , as part of the NHS England OpenSAFELY COVID-19 service. Data include pseudonymised data such as coded diagnoses, medications and physiological parameters. No free text data was included. All code is shared openly for review and re-use under MIT open license [ https://github.com/opensafely/vaccine-effectiveness-in-kids ]. Detailed pseudonymised patient data is potentially re-identifiable and therefore not shared. Primary care records managed by the GP software provider, TPP were linked to ONS death data and the Index of Multiple Deprivation through OpenSAFELY.

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