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Letters of Gratitude: Letters to Veterans

To my husband, my Marine, I never truly understood freedom until we met 10 years ago. You opened my eyes to military life. Our love was formed over written letters in boot camp; short, interrupted, dropped phone calls from a satellite phone when you were in Afghanistan, and learning each other all over again after each Homecoming.   I'm thankful for the man you are. The man who risked everything for a country of people, many of whom won't ever know your name.   Forever I will be grateful. Forever I will feel blessed to know you, to love you and to support you.   I love you, my husband, my Marine.   Xoxoxoxo Amy Lor

Dear Veteran, Thank you for your service. Please know that you are appreciated and recognized as someone who helped protect our freedom. Thanks again from a grateful American!

Dear Veteran,  Thank you for your service. You have given our country your life, time, energy and love. You are an honorable person and thank you doesn't seem enough to say I appreciate your service. Thank you again and always. God Bless you and your family. You are in my heart and I pray for you each and every day. Please remember YOU ARE LOVED. 

HUGS, a Friend. 

Dear Colonel (Angus), Thank you so much for all you did for our country while you were deployed. I know this was a huge sacrifice. Even though we were not together at that time, I greatly appreciate all you have done to serve. I'm so grateful you are here with me now! Love you to smithereens! Loren

Thank you for your service in the military. You are a courageous hero and very much appreciated. I wish you comfort, happiness, contentment and many moments filled with joy. Best Regards, a thankful U.S.A. Citizen.

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Thank you for all you have done to serve our country.  It is very much appreciated. My Dad was in World War II and thinks about those times often.  I hope you have a long, full life ahead of you with much happiness. Thank you again.

Thank you and your family for your service and sacrifice.

Hi, I'm not sure who I'm supposed to address this to so I will address it to all the veterans. I just wanted you to know how much my family and I appreciate all the sacrifices and bravery you have given up to protect our country and freedom. Without your bravery and sacrifices we would not have our safe and sound lives or our great United States of America so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your service's and fighting for our country. You do and always will have my respect and will be forever my hero and in my thoughts, my heart and in my prayers. Again thank you for what you have given up to keep us safe and free. Sincerely yours Joy B. Your forever fan

Thank you for your service! My family comes from a military background  and I truly appreciate all of the sacrifice you and your family have made for our country. Please know that we are grateful. God bless! 

Dear Poppy, Without your service in the army, I wouldn't be here writing this letter to you right now. Freedom can be taken for granted but it is one of the most important things in the world. Thank you Love, Sawyer Severance

Dear Veterans, Thank you for serving before. People do not give you enough credit for fighting and giving your lives so we can have freedom. I know what it is like because my grandfather fought in the war. Thank you for serving.

Thank you for your service. You have been a wonderful asset to our country. 

Thank you so much for your service. As a wife and mother of former Marines, I understand and appreciate your patriotism, dedication, and willingness to sacrifice everything for all Americans. God bless you and your family always!!!!

Hello, I'm taking the chance to send this note to you to say thank you for dedication to serving in the military. I think it is very honorable to step up and offer yourself in that way. I have family members who have served and my company also provides medical equipment to veterans. I know there are many veterans who have ongoing medical needs and it is not easy for some. I think sometimes it's just about feeling like someone takes the time to stop and say they care. So that was my goal. I hope this note let's you know someone is thinking of you.

For my Dad... You were on continuous deployment nearly your entire 22 year career. I never knew where you went, how long you were going to be gone or why you had to leave. But running down the gate at the airport when you came home...that was the best feeling in the world. You don't know this...but everyday I thank you. For keeping us safe. For keeping your promise to our beautiful country. And for always, always...coming home. I love you. Melissa S.

To all those who have served, there are not enough words of gratitude. As the mother of two veteran sons, I feel very blessed to have them both safely home. All of you veterans, and all of you still serving make me so proud to be an American!! Thank you all, and God bless you and your families. Mary Ann Frey Brooklyn, Ohio

Dear Veteran, I have no idea the journey you have traversed - whether good or bad. My hope is that all that may have been "bad" is now good. And that all the good that God grants through His grace is supplied to you in a myriad of ways - every single day. Life is sometimes inexplicable & sometimes hard days seem endless while good days fly past us. I pray that your life is filled with overwhelming joy - for what you have sown in service to our Nation, is selfless and eternal - and may you reap in abundance of hope, love, joy and strength. "Thank you" almost seems cliche as it could never be enough to esteem the gratitude towards your service. Nonetheless, thank you. With all my heart, N.J. ----------

Dear Veteran, I thank you very much for your service and sacrifice to defend our nation. You have allowed this country to continue to enjoy the freedoms and privileges that are so very often taken for granted. I work with an organization that does its very best to take care of individuals like you who have taken such wonderful care of us when needed. Please remember that you are supported and loved by a grateful nation. Loyally, D.M.

Dear Veteran, Thank you for serving the men, women and children of the United States of America. The sacrifices you have made cannot be summed up in this letter, but I hope in some way I am able to convey my gratitude. As a mother of four, I raised my children to learn about and acknowledge the bravery and commitment of service members like yourself, who have kept our country free. That is how I have tried to honor those who have served such as yourself. My oldest son will soon be signing up to serve and he does so proudly following in the footsteps of yourself and so many others. May God bless you always. Warm regards, M.G.

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When it comes to thanking veterans, we can do better than a rote phrase | Michael Engel

• Updated: Jul. 02, 2024, 3:13 a.m. |
• Published: Jul. 02, 2024, 3:05 a.m.
• Michael Engel

“Thank you for your service!”

As a veteran of the U.S. Army, I have occasionally been the recipient of this appreciative expression. I understand the sincere sentiments behind it. But my response is usually limited to a nod and polite smile because I don’t feel especially positive about my involuntary servitude as a draftee.

Moreover, should I who served as a personnel records clerk in Germany really get the same “thank you” as an infantryman wounded on D-Day? However well-intentioned, the phrase ends up not sitting right with me.

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Veteran Scholars

The emotion work of “thank you for your service”.

In the post-9/11 era, “thank you for your service” (TYFYS) has become the new mantra of public support bestowed upon the veteran community. In the early 2000s, as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began escalating, “Support Our Troops” car magnets increasingly appeared on the trunks of cars across America. After well over 15 years of war, public gratitude is now most commonly expressed in small interactions between veterans and the public they’ve served – with strangers saying TYFYS or offering to pay for a coffee or meal. If you ask any recent servicemember or veteran how they feel when someone says TYFYS, you’ll probably hear them express a strong opinion about the phrase. While some view it positively and enjoy these interactions, most find it awkward, uncomfortable or irritating. The message of support and gratitude that well-meaning Americans are attempting to express is often lost in translation with veterans.

A collection of op-ed pieces have addressed why servicemembers find TYFYS to be a point of disconnection rather than connection. James Kelly , an active-duty Marine, says that he hears the phrase so often it has become an “empty platitude,” something people say only because it is “politically correct.” Matt Richtel , a New York Times reporter, highlights how veterans feel the phrase can be self-serving; civilians get to pat themselves on the back because they are doing something for veterans, alleviating any sense of guilt in the era of an all-volunteer service. Another common complaint is that TYFYS doesn’t start the conversation between veterans and civilians – it stunts it – leaving veterans feeling more isolated and less connected to the America they served. Veterans commonly remark that civilians don’t even know what they are saying ‘thank you’ for. Elizabeth Samet , a professor at West Point, argues that we’ve come to the other “unthinking extreme” with TYFYS as an attempt for atonement after the poor treatment of Vietnam Veterans.

While many have tried to explain why veterans find TYFYS to be lacking, few have examined how these interactions affect veterans . Having interviewed servicemembers and veterans for the past 3 years in my professional life, and being a military spouse for the past 5 years, I have always been intrigued by how veterans handle these moments and interactions. I watch the discomfort when strangers approach my interview subjects or friends and say TYFYS – it becomes an awkward stumble for the veteran to find a way to muster their appreciation for a gesture that doesn’t necessarily square with it’s intent.

Emotion Work

As I analyzed the data I collected for my dissertation, a total of 39 interviews with wounded, injured, and ill post-9/11 veterans, I realized these interactions require veterans to engage in emotion work , a sociological concept defined by Arlie Hochschild. Emotion work is defined by Hochschild as “trying to change, in degree or quality, an emotion or feeling” (1979: 561). It is an active attempt to shape and direct one’s feelings to match the appropriate emotions for a given situation. For example, when someone thanks you for something you’ve done–you’re supposed to feel good, right? Gratitude should give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. This is called “feeling rules”; it’s how we know what we should be feeling in any given moment (see Hochschild’s work here ).

For veterans who genuinely appreciate and enjoy hearing TYFYS and other acts of gratitude—there is no “work” necessary because their feelings are appropriate given the situation. For Alex, a wounded Marine veteran, TYFYS makes him feel as though he is “seen” and that his service is validated:

“I like it. I really like it when people acknowledge my service. I’m not out there trying to get someone to do it, but when someone takes time out of their day to shake my hand and say, ‘Thank you for your service.’ It’s like, ‘Wow. You know this country – it was worth it. You know it’s – proud of your service to the country’…That’s something special.”

Alex’s emotions are in line with what we expect to feel when someone says thank you and acknowledges something that we have done. He doesn’t have to control or wrangle his emotions because they already align with the socially prescribed “feeling rules” and expectations.

My dissertation data suggests that 15 to 20% of veterans share Alex’s feelings; they enjoy and appreciate when people thank them for their service or demonstrate their gratitude through other acts and gestures. Personally and anecdotally, I’ve found about the same split: 10-20% find TYFYS gratifying and associate it with positive feelings, and 80-90% of servicemembers and veterans feel uncomfortable or upset about the phrase.

For the majority of wounded veterans I interviewed, who don’t have positive associations with TYFYS, these interactions necessitate emotion work. As they go about their day-to-day life, they are thrust into situations where they must acknowledge and negotiate the gratitude of total strangers through their own emotional response: emotions that do not match their true feelings in the situation. Luis, a young Marine Corps veteran with visible injuries, describes how he wrestles with having to do emotion work in these interactions:

“When people say thank you for your service, thank you for what you did…it’s kind of lost it’s shock value or something. I’ve heard it so much that I’m embarrassed that I can’t give them…like that first time when someone said thank you for your service…I feel like I don’t give them enough sincerity, I feel bad…I feel embarrassed for myself because I can’t do that, you know?…I just hear it sooooo much.”

Luis wants to give others a genuine emotional reaction each time they thank him for his service, but he feels he can’t because of the overwhelming number of times this happens to him. From this quote it’s clear he is blaming himself for even having to perform emotion work in the first place. Connor, an Army veteran with invisible injuries, discusses how he handles TYFYS:

“I give the standard, thanks, appreciate it or happy to do it. Or I don’t get into it. Even if I know it’s totally fake I’m like, yeah, appreciate it. And I’ll give just a fake answer. As fake as I got [from them], that’s how much I’ll give back…It’ll be like…’oh, thanks’ with the plastic smile. You know what I mean?”

Connor attempts to mirror the level of sincerity in the interaction, aligning his own response with it. His comment about how he puts on a “plastic smile” describes how he engages in surface acting: a way to present the necessary emotion to others even though his own feelings haven’t changed.

Another common strategy for veterans, especially wounded veterans who are frequently thanked for their service, is the use of predetermined responses. Having a rolodex of appropriate responses minimizes impromptu emotion work. Jackson, a Marine Corps veteran who has visible injuries, says that hearing TYFYS “just gets old” because he hears it so much. When I asked him how he usually responds, he said:

“[I will say] ‘…no, thank you .’ Another one is like some people [say] ‘thank you guys for what you do… you guys made coming home so much easier and so much more worth it.’ So make them feel just as adequate in a way.”

Jackson reveals the set of responses that he (and others) normally give. These prepackaged responses increase the efficiency of Jackson’s emotion work by creating sentiments that acknowledge and reciprocate the gratitude–an intentional move on Jackson’s part.

Several years after her Marine Corps service, Susan, an invisibly injured veteran, has gained a new perspective on the TYFYS issue. She is now able to see it from another point of view:

“You get to finally a point – I finally went, you know, these people are very sincere, and you’ve got to let them just say the thing. Because they generally want to thank you. And this is so not your experience. You don’t have to have it with them. And then it became okay going, you know what, they’re really caring, lovely people most of the time…”

Susan describes taking away her own investment in these interactions as a way to distance herself from constantly engaging in emotion work whenever someone says “thank you.” She understands the moment to be more about the other person than herself. She also describes her engagement with deep acting: working to change the way she truly feels about these interactions; trying to bring her own emotions in line with what’s expected.

The Cumulative Effect for Visibly Injured Veterans

For current servicemembers, veterans, and invisibly injured veterans these moments of invited gratitude from strangers happen occasionally or in concentrated environments where they know they may be thanked or approached. For visibly injured veterans, these interactions happen every day. Visibly injured veterans are disproportionately burdened with doing the emotional work surrounding public gratitude because their status as wounded veterans can’t be hidden or ‘taken off’ like a uniform. And their visible injury only amplifies feelings of gratitude among the public, causing them to experience more of these moments and interactions.

Thomas, an Army veteran with visible injuries, describes:

“[Civilians]…they just all want to do the right things. And I mean, to that person they have one chance to make a difference to one person. But if it’s you, they’re the 100th person today to say ‘thank you for your service.’”

The cumulative effect of these interactions wears on Thomas and other visibly injured veterans:

“And what if everybody did that to me? Like, everywhere I went, what if every single person thought they were doing me a favor and said “thank you for your service.” I would spend my whole life giving to other people. I could literally go every five feet and just be doling out good feelings to everybody. And I’m sorry, I’m an emotional bank account, we’re all just emotional bank accounts.”

Thomas’ comments clearly reveal how visibly injured veterans can quickly become exhausted from the emotion work of receiving TYFYS and other gestures of gratitude. What seems like a small interaction in the moment is continually repeated for wounded veterans like Thomas.

The treatment of U.S. veterans has significantly changed over time, from the prosperous return of World War II veterans to the protests and mistreatment of Vietnam veterans to the new era of the all-volunteer force. It is important that as a nation, we engage in a constant reflection process of how we treat our veterans, from the largest of government programs to the smallest interpersonal interactions. The well-meaning intent behind TYFYS isn’t always received by post-9/11 veterans in the same way.

Practical Suggestions: What Should We Be Doing to Show Our Gratitude and Appreciation?

Inevitably, after presenting these issues with TYFYS I get asked: “well, what should we be doing?” This is both a prudent and complicated question, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. We all have our own personal preferences of what is meaningful to us based on our personality, life experiences, and our thoughts. I’m not here to say that I have  the  answer, but I have a couple suggestions based on my work with veterans:

• Judge whether the military member or veteran seems open to conversation with a stranger. You know how you can tell whether the person next to you on a plane wants to talk or wants to be left alone? The same should go for your interactions with veterans, servicemembers, and wounded veterans. Do they appear willing to engage with others (i.e. making eye contact or already engaging in a friendly conversation with you), or do they look like they just want to grab their coffee and go about their day? If the latter – let them go about their day and reflect privately on your gratitude for their willingness to lay their life on the line for our freedom.
• If you want to show your support for veterans, find a local organization that helps veterans in your community. Do your research, find out what organizations are doing to serve veterans and improve their lives. Give your financial support or your time (through volunteering).1
• Go beyond “thank you for your service.” Ask them why they served, ask them when and where they served, ask them what they most enjoyed about their service. Dig deeper; cultivate gratitude for their service by learning more about it.

Note: this research was presented at the 2017 Eastern Sociological Society’s Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, PA.

**All participants have been given pseudonyms to protect their confidentiality**

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How to Write an Essay Paper on Why We Honor Our Veterans

Kristine tucker.

Americans honor military veterans for their service, sacrifice and commitment. When you write an expository essay on why Americans honor veterans, focus on the important role soldiers and military leaders play in society. Without veterans' willingness to serve and their devotion to ideals, such as equality, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, Americans wouldn't be able to celebrate many of the religious, economic and social freedoms they currently enjoy. Even if you don't support all of the wars the United States has participated in, you can list reasons why military personnel and veterans deserve to be recognized.

Explore this article

• A Candid Thesis
• Expository Examples
• Sincere Appreciation
• A Well-Structured Argument

1 A Candid Thesis

Create a thesis that clearly explains why Americans honor veterans. The thesis must be concise and focused, so readers know what to expect from your paper. For example, your thesis might say, "Americans pay tribute to veterans because they sacrificed their time and personal lives to make America safe for democracy," or "Veterans deserve admiration, respect and recognition for their bravery, devotion and leadership during military endeavors." The goal is to choose a thesis that allows you to investigate and explore reasons why veterans deserve praise and acknowledgement, such as their loyalty, devotion and sacrifice.

2 Expository Examples

An essay on why Americans honor veterans is expository in nature, meaning it doesn't require a huge amount of statistical data or factual evidence. There's no exact answer as to why Americans recognize veterans, so some of your essay might include personal opinions or observances. However, your paper will seem more credible if you include factual information, such as why Veterans Day was established, why military personnel receive special funeral rituals or why veterans qualify for no-down-payment home mortgages. These types of benefits help prove that veterans are treated with respect and dignity even after they retire or no longer serve on active duty.

3 Sincere Appreciation

Include some creativity and heart-felt gratitude in your essay, so readers empathize with the sacrifices veterans have made. For example, you might discuss the hardships military families face, such as having to relocate frequently or not being able to see loved ones for extended periods or time. Or, you might talk about how some veterans are forced to cope with war injuries, amputated limbs, disabilities or post-traumatic stress disorder after they return home. Veterans put their lives at risk for others who never had to witness or experience the mental, emotional and physical stress of war themselves.

4 A Well-Structured Argument

The purpose of your essay is to present logical, believable reasons as to why honoring veterans is a reasonable practice. You might think of your expository essay as if it were a debate -- does your argument clearly offer evidence as to why this societal observance is an important part of American culture? For example, you might discuss the importance of heroism and patriotism. Or, you might discuss why this type of social service serves the common good. Conclude your essay with information that inspires readers to honor veterans themselves or leaves a lasting impression, such as a famous quote from a military leader, veteran or U.S. president.

• 1 Colorado State: Salute Veterans National Honor Society
• 2 The Colonial Williamsburg Foundation: Writing in the Social Studies Classroom; Peter Pitard
• 3 The Register-Herald: Why Veterans Are Important to Us
• 4 Purdue Online Writing Lab: Expository Essays
• 5 U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: History of Veterans Day

About the Author

As curriculum developer and educator, Kristine Tucker has enjoyed the plethora of English assignments she's read (and graded!) over the years. Her experiences as vice-president of an energy consulting firm have given her the opportunity to explore business writing and HR. Tucker has a BA and holds Ohio teaching credentials.

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Here's How to Actually Thank Veterans for Their Service

As a Marine veteran, I've heard the "thank you for your service" phrase again and again, especially during last week's Veterans Day celebrations. Maybe I should feel honored, but more often, I feel annoyed because many times it comes across like an empty gesture. I often wonder how many people really think about what service truly means or have ever talked with a former service member about life in the military.

Veterans sacrificed not just in what they did during their time in the military, but in what they didn't do or have --  the typical entry-level positions or a 9-to-5 job that provides career advances, a competitive salary and time to enjoy quality time with their family and friends.

Too often, we think holding a parade or shaking a veteran's hand is the extent of our duty to them. But if we really want to honor veterans, we should do something more substantive. What you do for a veteran is often more important than what you say.

Here are 10 ideas how you can actually help veterans and really thank them for their service.

1. Write a Check. 

There are countless veterans organizations that could use some extra cash for programs that help wounded warrior s , assist current service members who are having financial difficulties and give job counseling to people leaving the military . You could research an organization on your own or ask a veteran for their input.

2. Donate Your Frequent-Flyer Miles. 

Do you travel a lot for work or pleasure? If you collect frequent-flyer miles, you can donate them. Consider donating some to the Fisher House Foundation's Hero Miles Program , which helps family members be close to the bedsides of loved ones who were injured.

3. Offer Your Expertise. 

You know the old saying, time is money. Instead of just giving cash, you could also give some of your time to a veterans group. Think about which skills you have from your job which might be beneficial. Do you work in construction? You could help build houses for wounded veterans.

4. Bring in a Veteran Speaker. 

There's a reason people say that someone was telling "war stories." Veterans have great insight into leadership, crisis management and personal grit. The next time you're planning a corporate event, look into bringing a speaker who served in the military.

5. Hire a Veteran. 

If you work in any kind of management position, you can help your business or nonprofit improve its veteran hiring practices. A great place to start is PsychArmor , a nonprofit organization that provides top-class, free webinars on how to find, hire, train and retain veterans and military spouse s .

6. Hire a Military Spouse or Caregiver. 

Supporting military families is as important as supporting veterans themselves. Consider hiring military spouses or caregivers at your next job opening. They are often incredibly talented, educated and professional.

7. Donate Pro Bono Hours.

 If you are a lawyer, donate your pro bono hours to a veterans law school clinic or participate in a program supporting veterans in need through your state bar association. Many vulnerable vets face legal challenges not only related to their compensation claims with the Department of Veterans Affairs , but also regarding upgrading their discharges, landlord/tenant issues, criminal defense and bankruptcy.

8. Earmark Your Donations.

 If you donate money to your alma mater, consider earmarking your donations specifically to support programs and services supporting veterans. Also consider contributing to scholarships at your university that are set aside specifically for veterans. Nonprofit organizations such as Four Block provide critical services to student veterans as they prepare for internships and then jobs in the private sector.

9. Volunteer. 

If you prefer to focus on grass-roots efforts, support and interact with organizations such as the Veteran Success Resource Group that brings together hundreds of veterans and family members in one afternoon to meet representatives from all the local government agencies that hire and support veterans, businesses that want to hire vets or include veteran-owned businesses in their supply chain, universities that provide vet services and a multitude of veterans service organizations.

10. Use a Veteran-Owned Business. 

Approximately 9% of the 27 million small businesses in the U.S. are veteran-owned. You could support veteran entrepreneurship by frequenting those businesses or adding them to your company's supply chain. You can learn more from the Coalition for Veteran Owned Business .

Stay on Top of Your Veteran Benefits

Military benefits are always changing. Keep up with everything from pay to health care by  signing up for a free Military.com membership , which will send all the latest benefits straight to your inbox while giving you access to up-to-date pay charts and more.

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