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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

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Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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While Sandel argues that pursuing perfection through genetic engineering would decrease our sense of humility, he claims that the sense of solidarity we would lose is also important.

This thesis summarizes several points in Sandel’s argument, but it does not make a claim about how we should understand his argument. A reader who read Sandel’s argument would not also need to read an essay based on this descriptive thesis.  

Broad thesis (arguable, but difficult to support with evidence) 

Michael Sandel’s arguments about genetic engineering do not take into consideration all the relevant issues.

This is an arguable claim because it would be possible to argue against it by saying that Michael Sandel’s arguments do take all of the relevant issues into consideration. But the claim is too broad. Because the thesis does not specify which “issues” it is focused on—or why it matters if they are considered—readers won’t know what the rest of the essay will argue, and the writer won’t know what to focus on. If there is a particular issue that Sandel does not address, then a more specific version of the thesis would include that issue—hand an explanation of why it is important.  

Arguable thesis with analytical claim 

While Sandel argues persuasively that our instinct to “remake” (54) ourselves into something ever more perfect is a problem, his belief that we can always draw a line between what is medically necessary and what makes us simply “better than well” (51) is less convincing.

This is an arguable analytical claim. To argue for this claim, the essay writer will need to show how evidence from the article itself points to this interpretation. It’s also a reasonable scope for a thesis because it can be supported with evidence available in the text and is neither too broad nor too narrow.  

Arguable thesis with normative claim 

Given Sandel’s argument against genetic enhancement, we should not allow parents to decide on using Human Growth Hormone for their children.

This thesis tells us what we should do about a particular issue discussed in Sandel’s article, but it does not tell us how we should understand Sandel’s argument.  

Questions to ask about your thesis 

• Is the thesis truly arguable? Does it speak to a genuine dilemma in the source, or would most readers automatically agree with it?  
• Is the thesis too obvious? Again, would most or all readers agree with it without needing to see your argument?  
• Is the thesis complex enough to require a whole essay's worth of argument?  
• Is the thesis supportable with evidence from the text rather than with generalizations or outside research?  
• Would anyone want to read a paper in which this thesis was developed? That is, can you explain what this paper is adding to our understanding of a problem, question, or topic?
• picture_as_pdf Thesis

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For this assignment, you will use various writing processes to develop an essay on a personal topic. You will be given an opportunity to explore the topic in rough form, but the final version of the essay will be in standard written English.

The project is designed to help you meet several objectives that are important for a successful writer. It will help you to

• explore a focused topic in writing,
• demonstrate awareness of an audience and purpose through language and style choices,
• use topic sentences and appropriate transitions, and
• use standard written English when appropriate.

Objective I. Explore a focused topic in writing.

For writers, developing a clear focus is an essential part of the writing process. For readers, a clear focus is essential for their understanding of a writer’s message and purpose. The following section of the Handbook will introduce you to the factors that are important for creating a piece of writing with a clear focus.

Specifically, this section will offer answers to these questions:

• What is an essay?
• How do I focus my ideas?
• What is a thesis statement?
• Does a personal essay have to have a thesis statement?
• Where should I place my thesis statement?
• How do I use my thesis statement to talk to other people?
• How is a thesis statement like a claim?

1. What is an essay?

An essay is a relatively short piece of nonfiction prose that explores an idea or topic. Essays are written for many reasons. For example, an essay may recount an event, develop a position on an issue, or describe a person, place, or thing.

Notice that this description does not specify a format. (Even length is left vague.)  The organization, the length, the style, the tone—often these are determined not by any template but by an author making choices in response to purpose, context, and audience.

In the past, one choice may have been made for you. In grades K-12, some instructors assign the five-paragraph theme: introductory paragraph, three body paragraphs, concluding paragraph. That organization may have worked as a school exercise, but going forward you cannot always rely upon that template. In reality, essays have as many paragraphs as they need to have. If you are exploring a complex issue, five paragraphs may not be enough. On the other hand, under some circumstances even fewer than five paragraphs may be appropriate. Always keep in mind that your instructors will provide specific guidance on the appropriate length and format for particular writing assignments.

2. How do I focus my ideas?

Initially, you may be unsure about what you want to say, and you may have to do some preliminary writing to begin to develop your viewpoint. But even before that, you may need to write a bit to make certain that the subject is narrow enough to be manageable. This writing in order to establish a focus is something that you do for yourself, without being concerned about how it will come across to an audience. As you write informally (even a bulleted list can help), react to your own writing. If you are writing about a broad subject, notice the topics within the subject. Consider zeroing in on one of them. Ask yourself what interests you about this new subject and how it is important to you or other people. Think of yourself as going through a writing funnel—broad at the top, narrow at the bottom—and repeat the process until you settle upon something doable within the space, time, and resources available to you.

3. What is a thesis statement?

The thesis statement is “in charge” of an essay. It identifies the subject, indicates your viewpoint, and often forecasts the essay’s organization. While drafting, return repeatedly to the thesis statement to make certain that it is still in charge of the essay. If a passage does not explain or illustrate the thesis, then you have three options: eliminate the passage, revise it so that it is relevant, or consider changing the thesis statement. Authors continually develop their ideas as they write, so revising (even replacing) a thesis statement is not a sign that the writing process is going badly; instead, it is a reminder that writing is thinking.

Example of a thesis statement:

I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face.

This thesis statement provides quite a lot of guidance for both writing and reading the essay. Writer and reader are equally able to see what the subject of the essay is and what is being stated about the subject, and both writer and reader can see how the essay should be organized.

Subject: cousin’s decision to enlist.

Statement about subject: writer admires cousin’s decision.

Organization: No matter how many body paragraphs there are, they will be divided into two sections. One section will group together the paragraphs on this topic:  cousin “had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army.” Another section will group together the paragraphs on this second topic: “in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges.”

The thesis also suggests a further subdivision under “in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges.” In this section of the essay, paragraphs could be divided into ones devoted to ‘physical challenges’ and ones devoted to ‘mental challenges’ .

4.     Does a personal essay have to have a thesis statement?

  While many personal essays include a direct statement of the thesis, in some personal essays the thesis may be implied rather than stated outright.

Imagine, for example, that in your personal essay you decide to write about the way someone influenced you. The influential individual could be a relative, a friend or classmate, an employer or a teacher. As you shape your essay, you would not simply assemble a collection of miscellaneous observations about the person; instead, you would be selective and focus on details about this person that show his or her impact upon you.

Let us say that the person who influenced you is a grandparent. You may know a lot about this individual: personality traits, family and marital history, medical history, educational background, work experience, military experience, political and religious beliefs, hobbies, tastes in music, etc. But as you shape your essay about how this individual affected you, you wouldn’t try to catalog all that you know. Instead, you would try to create a dominant impression by including details that guide your reader toward the idea that is central to the essay. For example, if you developed certain habits and attitudes as you and your grandparent worked together on a project, that experience might provide the focus for the essay. If you chose details consistent with that focus, then you wouldn’t need to state that this was the point of the essay. Your readers would understand that that was the governing idea based on the details you had so carefully chosen.

Whether the thesis is stated outright or implied, then, the personal essay will have a governing idea—an idea that is “in charge” of what you decide to include in the essay in terms of content, vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone. In short, the personal essay may not have a thesis statement, but it will have a thesis.

5.     Where should I place my thesis statement?

In shorter essays, the thesis statement tends to be found in the first paragraph, often in the last sentence of that paragraph. In longer essays it may take longer to lay the groundwork for the statement. In some cases, the thesis is in fact stated in the final paragraph: the essay may open with a question and work through answers and state the thesis as a conclusion. Wherever the thesis appears in the essay, keep in mind that sometimes it takes more than one sentence to adequately convey a thesis.

6. How do I use my thesis statement to talk to other people?

Your readers will need to be able to grasp what the essay is about, what your viewpoint is, and how the essay will be structured. Without this information, your audience may not always know what to make of the information you are providing. For example, you may describe something, but your audience may wonder what point you are trying to illustrate if they don’t know what the essay is about, don’t have of sense of your viewpoint, and don’t know where the essay is heading.

At the outset, a thesis statement provides the initial “instructions” that your audience needs in order to follow your reasoning. After the opening, the thesis statement continues to play a role when language from it reappears as the audience advances through the essay. Each time the thesis statement is echoed, readers are reminded of the subject and of your point of view.

Example of reinforcement of thesis statement:

Thesis: I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face.

Echo as topic sentence of body paragraph: After my cousin made the decision to enlist, she had to break the news to her parents, who expected her to remain near home and to get a job locally.

7.     How is a thesis statement like a claim?

In everyday speech, when we say that someone has “claimed” something to be true, often we are implying that we will not believe a statement unless the speaker provides support for it. In that sense, a thesis statement is like a claim . Through your thesis statement, you have expressed your viewpoint on a subject, but your audience may not accept your viewpoint unless you explain your reasoning and provide evidence.

In persuasive writing and speaking, one way in which the two terms are similar is that both state something that can be argued. The statement “President George W. Bush was the forty-third president of the United States” is not arguable and is therefore neither a thesis nor a claim. The statement that “The Veterans Administration should be exempt from budget cuts in order to serve veterans of the Iraq war” is arguable and is therefore a claim or thesis.

In a personal essay, you may not think of your thesis as “arguable” in the same way as a claim in a persuasive essay would be arguable, but in fact you can think of it as something that should need to be demonstrated—backed up through explanations and illustrations.

If the thesis does not need to be demonstrated, then there may not be much purpose in writing the essay. For, example, like the statement that George W. Bush was the forty-third president, the statement that “Senior proms are exciting” would not be considered arguable by most people and likely would not spark a reader’s interest and make her want to keep reading.

On the other hand, the thesis statements below would need to be explained and illustrated. In that sense, these Personal Essay thesis statements are equivalent to claims that are “arguable.”

• The evening was nearly ruined because parents acting as dress-code vigilantes threw several people out of the prom.
• My team spent hours planning the prom and managed to head off a repeat of the after-prom drinking that caused some parents to question whether the prom should be held this year.
• Everyone was able to attend the prom proudly because our prom committee got several stores to loan outfits to make certain everyone would feel like they fit in.
• I opted to attend an alternative prom because the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend.
• Although some parents objected to allowing a same-sex couple to attend, the prom was a great success because we felt like everyone was respected so we were really a class—all of us together.

Objective II. Demonstrate awareness of purpose and audience through language and style choices.

Audience awareness is one of the defining characteristics of college-level writing and speaking. Your audience will be the reader, viewer, or listener who encounters and interprets your work.

The following sections will help you to understand why you should consider your audience carefully. It also will suggest ways for tailoring written or oral communication to suit your audience and your purpose or goals.

• Why should I care about my audience?
• Who is my audience?
• H ow do I show that I have considered my audience?
• How do I write for an audience that includes my instructor?
• What do I want to accomplish through my communication?
• How can I use language appropriately and effectively to accomplish my writing goals?

1. Why should I care about my audience?

You need to make writing choices based on an audience just as you will need to make choices based on your purpose or your subject matter. Members of your audience may have certain expectations, and if you violate those expectations, you may lose their interest and possibly even their respect. Those expectations may include

Even if your audience has no strong expectations, you need to consider that certain choices of language, arguments, and examples may be more successful for one audience as opposed to another audience. You have been making such choices for nearly as long as you have been communicating, both in speech and in writing. You only have to think about the difference between text messages you send to friends and the high school reports you have written to recognize that you already understand that it is important to consider your audience when choosing what to say and write.

2. Who is my audience?

There are two types of audiences: an ideal and an actual one. The ideal audience is made up of the types of people you hope will read, view, or listen to your work. They may be members of a scholarly field, like physics or history, or they may be everyday people with shared experiences, beliefs, or values. Your audience might have a particular relationship with you and might encounter your text under particular circumstances, such as in a town hall meeting, classroom presentation, or local newspaper.

You imagine an ideal audience as you create your text, but in the end your actual audience might turn out to be very different, with experiences, beliefs or values that don’t match those of the audience you were imagining. In addition, your actual audience might encounter your work outside of its intended context. For example, you may write an editorial for The Tartan or Whim , thinking that only members of the Radford University community will read it. In fact, your editorial could be read by family members in other states or complete strangers from other countries. If your actual audience knows nothing about you, it will form an impression of you based solely on your paper, speech, or video. Given these uncertainties, it can be tempting to simply forget about any audience, ideal or imagined. However, doing so would be a grave mistake because the effectiveness of your work is a direct result of your careful consideration of how an audience, either ideal or actual, may react to it.

3. How do I show that I have considered my audience?

To show that you have considered your audience, you must present ideas in ways that the audience is accustomed to seeing. For example, a paper for an English course might rely on an analysis of specific words and phrases from a poem, play, or novel. The paper might also show that its ideas respond in some way to a discussion that was started by experts on the literary text. A presentation in a sociology course, on the other hand, might rely on evidence obtained through controlled experiments and direct observations of people’s behaviors. It may also explain how these observations compare with observations made by experts on that particular subject.

You need to consider non-academic audiences with similar care. For example, the audience of The New York Times tends to be less politically, fiscally, and socially conservative than that of The Wall Street Journal . Knowing this, a writer would tailor her communication accordingly. Similarly, a speaker might address a group of small business owners much differently from how she would address a Parent-Teacher Association. Each audience values different ideas and would be receptive to different arguments, and a speaker is unlikely to succeed if she does not consider them beforehand.

4. How do I write for an audience that includes my instructor?

In cases where an instructor is your audience, it certainly is appropriate to think of him or her as someone who will grade your work. It is also, however, very helpful to think of an instructor as a representative of a scholarly discipline. In other words, your instructors—whether in English, psychology, chemistry, or criminal justice—read essays and books that present arguments and evidence in a manner that is convincing to experts in their fields. What constitutes “evidence,” or “clear writing” varies greatly from one discipline to another. Therefore, the key to writing successfully for audiences in different disciplines is to learn what constitutes effective communication in each field.

5. What do I want to accomplish through my communication?

Every text—whether it is written, oral, visual—is trying to do something. In other words, every text has a purpose or goal. Its purpose might be very clear and straightforward. For example, the purpose of an advertisement is very obvious: an advertisement is trying to get the viewer to buy a product. On the other hand, the purpose of a creative short story might be more difficult to describe: it might be an attempt to understand one’s experience, to share one’s thoughts, to surprise or challenge the reader, to critique social practices, and so on. A literary analysis often tries to get the reader to consider a new interpretation of a text like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein , while a classroom presentation might communicate the various ways in which labor practices in China affect prices at big box stores in the United States. Notice that all of the above “purposes” are verbs rather than nouns.  In other words, to have a purpose when speaking or writing is to take action, to try to “do” something: to argue, investigate, persuade, or explain.

6. How can I use language appropriately and effectively to accomplish my writing goals? 

In order to use language effectively, you need to evaluate your text’s purpose and audience, along with the context of its presentation.

Some things to consider: 

• Where and how will your text be published and/or circulated?
• Will you be presenting your work orally or in written form?
• What time or space limits might you face?
• What is your relationship to your audience?  Are you strangers? Friends?  Relatives?  Are you social or professional equals?
• Will formal or informal language be more effective in addressing your audience?
• Will an appeal based on reason and evidence be effective with your audience?
• Will an appeal based on emotion or shared values be effective with your audience?
•  Will an appeal based on your credibility or the credibility of your sources be effective with this audience?
• To what degree might anecdotes, jokes, and so on, be appropriate or inappropriate for your audience and purpose?
• What kinds of grammatical structures and/or language practices does your audience use? How much do you want to conform to or challenge the way your audience uses language?
• How much will communication conventions or spelling matter to your audience?

Objective III. Use topic sentences and appropriate transitions.

Topic sentences and transitions provide the framework for an essay or speech. They help you as you work to develop your ideas in an organized fashion, and they guide your audience members as they work to follow your reasoning and see how your explanations and examples fit into an overall picture.

The following sections will help you to understand how to create and use topic sentences and transitions, as well as how to create an introduction and a conclusion for your personal essay.

• How do I begin a personal essay?
• What is a topic sentence?
• What is the purpose of a body paragraph in a personal essay?
• How do I structure a body paragraph in a personal essay?
• What is an illustration?
• What is a transition?
• How can I make an effective transition?
• How do I conclude a personal essay?

1. How do I begin a personal essay?

The first paragraph (sometimes the second as well) is the reader’s introduction to the essay. However, the introduction to the final draft of your essay may not be the introduction that you wrote for the first draft of the essay. As you shape and reshape your essay, you may find your ideas evolving so that the paragraph you wrote as a way to get started no longer works as the opening for the finished essay. Finding that you have to replace the essay’s introduction does not indicate that you have done something wrong. Instead, it indicates that you have done something right: you have used the writing process to develop your ideas. In fact, many writers find that the last thing they finish is the introduction—when they have completed sorting out what it is they want to say.

When you craft the introduction for the finished essay, you may use it to signal the subject of the essay and to indicate your viewpoint. You may state your thesis in the introduction, and you may use it to forecast the essay’s organization.

The above type of information can be helpful to a reader. However, there is one more way in which you can use the introduction: to capture the interest of your reader. A clear thesis, a careful organization—these will be lost on a reader who decides to put down your essay and pick up something else to read instead. When you develop your introduction, try to hook your reader. One way to do so is to describe a memorable individual, scene, or event. Make your description vivid and detailed. Seize the reader’s interest by showing her that this is not a run-of-the-mill person, place, or incident.

Some writers include a quotation or a question in the introduction. This strategy can work, but be careful not to seem to be following a worn-out formula. Some quotations have been trotted out again and again until they come across as platitudes —stale statements that are unlikely to excite the reader. For example, “Love conquers all” was first written (in Latin) by the Roman poet Virgil more than two thousand years ago. After being repeated for two thousand years, the statement may not seem to be a novel or exciting way to introduce an essay.

2. What is a topic sentence?

A topic sentence states the main point, or key idea, of a paragraph. For example, in this excerpt from “Is social media making us socially awkward?” by Janie Maitland (2013), the first sentence is the topic sentence:

Keeping up with friends from your past is also easy with social media. Not that it’s incredibly hard to call your best friend from fifth grade from time to time, but with social media you can keep up with not only your long-lost BFF, but your entire fifth grade class.

Topic sentences not only serve to guide your paragraph structure, they are also there to further your thesis, or main claim. Compare the thesis below with examples of topic sentences. Notice how each topic sentence reinforces an idea that can be traced back to an element of the thesis .

I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face .

Topic sentences:

After my cousin made the decision to enlist, she had to break the news to her parents, who expected her to remain near home and to get a job locally.

She also had to put up criticism from the people she went to school with who were raised to expect women to marry and start families at a young age.

Even her employer opposed her decision because although he was a veteran, in his day women only joined auxiliary services.

3. What is the purpose of a body paragraph in a personal essay?

Body paragraphs should serve to strengthen and develop the ideas that you laid out in your introduction and/or via your thesis or main claim. Your body paragraphs also should help to guide the reader through your points, so they should be clear and focused.

Notice that each example topic sentence in What is a topic sentence? identifies a point that would be developed into a body paragraph.

4. How do I structure a body paragraph in a personal essay?

In an argument essay, writers often use the PIE (Point, Illustration, Explanation) format: state the point (topic or key idea), illustrate the point, explain the point. In a personal essay, sometimes the explanation may be omitted. What is vital for a body paragraph in a personal essay is that (1) it include a single point (a topic sentence or key idea) that furthers the thesis and (2) that the point be fully developed via  an illustration or example of some sort. Each body paragraph also should contain some sort of transition from the paragraphs that follows it.

5. What is an illustration?

Illustrations generally are examples or pieces of evidence to show the reader what your points are telling them. For example, in her article “Is social media making us socially awkward?”, Janie Maitland (2013) tells her audience that “Without social media, it’d be impossible…to keep up with all of” the people she’s met as a result of moving around a lot. She follows up by showing:

When I reunited with my best friend from Florida…reconnecting was so easy because…She already had a list of my friends that she had seen on my Facebook page that she had wanted to meet, and I already knew what kind of topics interested her…

While her audience might very well believe her when she “tells” them that social media has helped her to stay connected to important people in her life, the illustration serves to make it much clearer and much more unique to her experience.

6. What is a transition?

A transition is a signal to readers that you are moving from one point or idea to another point or idea. This signal shows your audience that a new sentence or paragraph has some connection to the previous sentence or paragraph.

Transitions often remind readers of what was covered in the previous sentence or paragraph. When the transition reminds readers of a previous idea while introducing a new one, the new idea exists within a context. As a result, readers see that the new sentence or paragraph is a link in a chain of sentences or paragraphs.

Without transitions, it may be hard follow the logic of an essay because readers may not be able to tell why the new sentence or paragraph is being introduced. In extreme cases, poor or missing transitions may make an essay seem too much like a loose collection of sentences or paragraphs rather than a focused piece of writing.

7. How can I make an effective transition?

At the sentence level—usually within a paragraph—a transitional word or phrase might be sufficient. Common transitional words or phrases include also , another , furthermore , in addition to , and so on. Between paragraphs, however, it’s generally a good idea to show how the idea you are leaving behind is related to the one you are starting.

One way to show how the idea you are leaving behind is related to the one you are starting is to begin a paragraph with a sentence that has two parts to it: one part referring back to an idea from the previous paragraph and another part introducing the idea that the new paragraph will focus on.

  Although I knew I would have to walk the dogs morning and evening, I had not counted on having to get up in the middle of the night to let them in to my room every time it thundered—and it thundered a lot that summer.

Careful repetition of language from the previous paragraph in the beginning of the new paragraph can help create a transition that reminds readers of an old idea while introducing a new one. The example below illustrates how this kind of transition works, with the phrase at the beginning of the second paragraph echoing a phrase in a preceding sentence.

In this case, it’s a good idea to repeat a key word or phrase from the last sentence of one body paragraph in the first sentence of the next.

Repeating a key word or phrase will make it easier for your reader to see how you got from point A to point B. If at any time you find it difficult to create a transition from one paragraph or idea to the next, you may need to re-order your paragraphs to create a more logical progression.

Be careful to place the transitional sentence at the beginning of the new paragraph. Do not attach it to the end of the old paragraph. Even though the transition sentence may recap language or ideas from the old paragraph, as soon as the new idea is stated, the essay has moved on to new territory.

8. How do I conclude a personal essay?

Your task in concluding is to remind the reader of where the essay has taken them and why its message matters. There is no need to construct a dramatic sitcom-style conclusion; nor does the conclusion need to state the obvious by using the phrase “in conclusion.”  Also avoid the pitfall of bringing up new issues that you did not cover in the body of the essay. Above all, the conclusion should not feel forced, so don’t tack on a “moral” or a “lesson” that might come across as an afterthought.

Instead, reemphasize what you’ve already said, with the conclusion growing out of the step-by-step progression of the essay. One way to conclude is to simply reword and restate the thesis and key ideas. Alternately, you can create a “frame” for the essay by returning to something from the introduction. This strategy creates a sense of closure for the audience by bringing readers full circle, that is, back to the beginning. For example, if you started your essay with a question to draw the reader in, a full-circle conclusion might end by answering that attention grabbing question.

Objective IV. Use standard written English when appropriate.

Your Core courses are intended to help you meet the expectations of both your instructors and your future employers, and both audiences are likely to expect you to communicate in standard written English.

• What is grammar?
• What is usage?
• What is the difference between grammar and usage?
• Why should I care about usage?
• What counts as “proper” grammar?
• What if I don’t use “proper” grammar?

1. What is grammar?

A rough and ready definition of grammar is that it is a set of rules by which a language operates. But defining grammar is a little more complicated than that because for any language there are several different versions of grammar. One of these versions will be a descriptive grammar that covers the way a language is actually used by its speakers. Another version, though, will be a prescriptive grammar that reflects beliefs about how a language should operate. These prescriptive expectations about how a language should work often are held by people in authority, such as teachers and employers. If your audience includes people who embrace a prescriptive grammar, you need to be able to adapt to that set of language rules in order to meet audience expectations.

2.     What is usage?

Usage is a set of writing and speaking conventions—that is, a set of standards that language users have agreed upon for particular contexts. For example, in some types of writing, such as formal reports, contractions may be frowned upon. A writer would be expected to spell out “they are” instead of writing “they’re.” The contraction “they’re” is not ungrammatical, but people who are creating and receiving communications have agreed that contractions are not appropriate within a particular context. In another writing situation, contractions may be perfectly acceptable because of different usage expectations.

3. What is the difference between grammar and usage?

Grammar is a matter of following the rules that allow a language to work, but usage is a matter of convention, a set of standards that language users have agreed upon for a particular context. This distinction is important because a text could be completely free of grammar mistakes but still contain errors of usage.

4. Why should I care about usage?

Your ability to communicate effectively partly depends upon your ability to shape language to fit the demands of particular situations. In certain academic and professional contexts, you will be expected to use what has been called, variously, Well Edited American Prose (WEAP), Standard American English, or Network Standard English. Whatever label you use, this variety of English is linked to the social classes and racial and ethnic class groups that have held political power. It is therefore the variety of language that is most frequently used in the arenas—such as business and academia—that are associated with political power. Your ability to succeed in these academic and professional contexts may be impacted by your ability to utilize WEAP effectively.

5. What counts as “proper” grammar? 

While many of us are trained to think that there are “proper” and “improper” modes of grammar, this approach isn’t necessarily current. Certain types of grammar are more appropriate for certain situations. Thus, in a scientific research paper you might be expected to use the form of language preferred in academic and professional settings that is known as Well Edited American Prose (WEAP), but on Twitter you would be expected to rely on another form of language. Furthermore, conventions of “proper” grammar change over time. Therefore, rather than learning only one “proper” version of grammar, it is important to learn how to choose between types of grammar. Always adopt the register or variety of English that is suitable for the communication situation. Whether you use “who” or “whom”, whether you use “he or she” instead of “they”—these decisions hinge less on what is “proper” grammar than on what is appropriate for the communication situation you find yourself in.

6. What if I don’t use “proper” grammar?

Very few of us naturally speak or write using the grammatical forms that characterize Well Edited American Prose (WEAP) or other types of writing that may be preferred in academic and professional settings. English is characterized by a range of dialects that are often dependent upon geographical region and ethnicity. In addition, there are numerous registers of English—varieties of English suitable for specific social or professional situations—that may depart in some ways from the conventions of Well Edited American Prose (WEAP). The fact that your instructor asks you to write using WEAP doesn’t mean that the other language forms you or others may use are inferior forms of English. Nor does it mean that you have to leave those other forms of English behind. Rather, you are being asked to become accustomed to recognizing the demands of the communication situations in which you find yourself and to evaluating which modes of English are appropriate and effective for those contexts.

References for Personal Essay Section

Maitland, J. (2013, December 9). Is social media making us socially awkward? Whim Internet Magazine , Retrieved from http://www.ruwhim.com/?p=40370

This work ( Radford University Core Handbook by Radford University) is free of known copyright restrictions.

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4.13: Writing a Personal Essay

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Learning Objectives

• Describe techniques for writing an effective personal essay

How to Write a Personal Essay

One particular and common kind of narrative essay is the personal narrative essay. Many of you have already written at least one of these – in order to get to college. The personal essay is a narrative essay focused on you. Typically, you write about events or people in your life that taught you important life lessons. These events should have changed you somehow. From this choice will emerge the theme (the main point) of your story. Then you can follow these steps:

• Once you identify the event, you will write down what happened. Just brainstorm (also called freewriting). Focus on the actual event. You do not need to provide a complete build-up to it. For example, if you are telling a story about an experience at camp, you do not need to provide readers with a history of my camp experiences, nor do you need to explain how you got there, what we ate each day, how long it lasted, etc. Readers need enough information to understand the event. So, you do not need to provide information about my entire summer if the event only lasts a couple of days.
• Use descriptions/vivid details.
• “Nothing moved but a pair of squirrels chasing each other back and forth on the telephone wires. I followed one in my sight. Finally, it stopped for a moment and I fired.”
• The verbs are all in active voice creating a sense of immediacy: moved, followed, stopped, fired.
• Passive voice uses the verb “to be” along with an action verb: had been aiming, was exhausted.
• Develop your characters. Even though the “characters” in your story are real people, your readers won’t get to know them unless you describe them, present their personalities, and give them physical presence.
• Use dialogue. Dialogue helps readers get to know the characters in your story, infuses the story with life, and offers a variation from description and explanation. When writing dialogue, you may not remember exactly what was said in the past, so be true to the person being represented and come as close to the actual language the person uses as possible. Dialogue is indented with each person speaking as its own paragraph. The paragraph ends when that person is done speaking and any following explanation or continuing action ends. (If your characters speak a language other than English, feel free to include that in your narrative, but provide a translation for your English-speaking readers.)
• Be consistent in your point of view. Remember, if it is a personal narrative, you are telling the story, so it should be in first person. Students often worry about whether or not they are allowed to use “I.” It is impossible to write a personal essay without using “I”!
• Write the story in a consistent verb tense (almost always past tense). It doesn’t work to try to write it in the present tense since it already happened. Make sure you stay in the past tense.

Sample Personal Statement

One type of narrative essay you may have reason to write is a Personal Statement.

Many colleges and universities ask for a Personal Statement Essay for students who are applying for admission, to transfer, or for scholarships.

Generally, a Personal Statement asks you to respond to a specific prompt, most often asking you to describe a significant life event, a personality trait, or a goal or principle that motivates or inspires you. Personal Statements are essentially narrative essays with a particular focus on the writer’s personal life.

The following essay was responding to the prompt: “Write about an experience that made you aware of a skill or strength you possess.” As you read, pay attention to the way the writer gets your attention with a strong opening, how he uses vivid details and a chronological narrative to tell his story, and how he links back to the prompt in the conclusion.

Sample Student Essay

Alen Abramyan Professor X English 1101-209 2/5/2013

In the Middle of Nowhere Fighting Adversity

A three-punch combination had me seeing stars. Blood started to rush down my nose. The Russian trainers quietly whispered to one another. I knew right away that my nose was broken. Was this the end of my journey; or was I about to face adversity?

Ever since I was seven years old, I trained myself in, “The Art of Boxing.” While most of the kids were out playing fun games and hanging out with their friends, I was in a damp, sweat-filled gym. My path was set to be a difficult one. Blood, sweat, and, tears were going to be an everyday occurrence.

At a very young age I learned the meaning of hard work and dedication. Most kids jumped from one activity to the next. Some quit because it was too hard; others quit because they were too bored. My father pointed this out to me on many occasions. Adults would ask my father, ” why do you let your son box? It’s such a dangerous sport, he could get hurt. My father always replied, “Everyone is going to get hurt in their lives, physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m making sure he’s ready for the challenges he’s going to face as a man. I always felt strong after hearing my father speak that way about me. I was a boy being shaped into a man, what a great feeling it was.

Year after year, I participated in boxing tournaments across the U.S. As the years went by, the work ethic and strength of character my father and coaches instilled in me, were starting to take shape. I began applying the hard work and dedication I learned in boxing, to my everyday life. I realized that when times were tough and challenges presented themselves, I wouldn’t back down, I would become stronger. This confidence I had in myself, gave me the strength to pursue my boxing career in Russia.

I traveled to Russia to compete in Amateur Boxing. Tournament after tournament I came closer to my goal of making the Russian Olympic Boxing team. After successfully winning the Kaliningrad regional tournament, I began training for the Northwest Championships. This would include boxers from St. Petersburg, Pskov, Kursk and many other powerful boxing cities.

We had to prepare for a tough tournament, and that’s what we did. While sparring one week before the tournament, I was caught by a strong punch combination to the nose. I knew right away it was serious. Blood began rushing down my face, as I noticed the coaches whispering to each other. They walked into my corner and examined my nose,” yeah, it’s broken,” Yuri Ivonovich yelled out. I was asked to clean up and to meet them in their office. I walked into the Boxing Federation office after a quick shower. I knew right away, they wanted to replace me for the upcoming tournament. “We’re investing a lot of money on you boxers and we expect good results. Why should we risk taking you with a broken nose?” Yuri Ivonovich asked me. I replied, “I traveled half-way around the world to be here, this injury isn’t a problem for me.” And by the look on my face they were convinced, they handed me my train ticket and wished me luck.

The train came to a screeching halt, shaking all the passengers awake. I glanced out my window, “Welcome to Cherepovets,” the sign read. In the background I saw a horrific skyline of smokestacks, coughing out thick black smoke. Arriving in the city, we went straight to the weigh ins. Hundreds of boxers, all from many cities were there. The brackets were set up shortly after the weigh ins. In the Super Heavyweight division, I found out I had 4 fights to compete in, each increasing in difficulty. My first match, I made sure not a punch would land; this was true for the next two fights. Winning all three 6-0, 8-0 and 7-0 respectively. It looked like I was close to winning the whole tournament. For the finals I was to fight the National Olympic Hope Champion.

The night before the finals was coincidentally the 200th anniversary of the city. All night by my hotel, I heard screams of laughter and partying. I couldn’t sleep a wink. The morning of the fight I was exhausted but anxious. I stepped into the ring knowing that I was tired. I fell behind in points quickly in the first round. I felt as if I were dreaming, with no control of the situation. I was going along for the ride and it wasn’t pleasant. At the end of the second round, the coach informed me that I was far behind. “?You’re asleep in there,” he yelled out to me, confirming how I felt. I knew this was my last chance; I had to give it my all. I mustered up enough strength to have an amazing round. It was as if I stepped out and a fresh boxer stepped in. I glanced at my coaches and see a look of approval. No matter the outcome, I felt that I had defeated adversity. My opponent’s hand was raised , he won a close decision, 6-5. After I got back to my hotel, I remembered Yuri Ivonovich telling me they expected good results. “How were my results,” I asked myself. In my mind, the results were great, with a broken nose and with no sleep, I came one point shy of defeating the National Olympic Hope Champion.

Even from a very young age, I knew that when my back was against the wall and adversity was knocking on my door, I would never back down. I became a stronger person, a trait my family made sure I would carry into my adult years. No matter what I’m striving for; getting into a University; receiving a scholarship; or applying for a job, I can proudly say to myself, I am Alen Abramyan and adversity is no match for me.

Link to Learning

Sandra Cisneros offers an example of a narrative essay in “Only Daughter” that captures her sense of her Chicana-Mexican heritage as the only daughter in a family of seven children.

Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?

While many personal essays include a direct statement of the thesis, in some personal essays the thesis may be implied rather than stated outright.

Imagine, for example, that in your personal essay you decide to write about the way someone influenced you. The influential individual could be a relative, a friend or classmate, an employer or a teacher. As you shape your essay, you would not simply assemble a collection of miscellaneous observations about the person; instead, you would be selective and focus on details about this person that show his or her impact upon you.

Let us say that the person who influenced you is a grandparent. You may know a lot about this individual: personality traits, family and marital history, medical history, educational background, work experience, military experience, political and religious beliefs, hobbies, tastes in music, etc. But as you shape your essay about how this individual affected you, you wouldn’t try to catalog all that you know. Instead, you would try to create a dominant impression by including details that guide your reader toward the idea that is central to the essay.

For example, if you developed certain habits and attitudes as you and your grandparent worked together on a project, that experience might provide the focus for the essay. If you chose details consistent with that focus, then you wouldn’t need to state that this was the point of the essay. Your readers would understand that that was the governing idea based on the details you had so carefully chosen.

Whether the thesis is stated outright or implied, then, the personal essay will have a governing idea—an idea that is “in charge” of what you decide to include in the essay in terms of content, vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone. In short, the personal essay may not have a thesis statement, but it will have a thesis.

Consider a personal essay in which a student was asked to write about a person she admired, and she wrote about her cousin. She wrote:

• I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face.

The thesis statement provides quite a lot of guidance for both writing and reading the essay. Writer and reader are equally able to see what the subject of the essay is and what is being stated about the subject, and both writer and reader can see how the essay should be organized. No matter how many body paragraphs there are, this thesis implies that the paper will be divided into two sections. One section will group together the paragraphs on this topic: cousin “had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army.” Another section will group together the paragraphs on this second topic: “in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges.”

Are Narratives Persuasive?

In a personal essay, you may not think of your thesis as “arguable” in the same way as a claim in a persuasive essay would be arguable, but in fact, you can think of it as something that should need to be demonstrated—backed up through explanations and illustrations. Usually, the idea that should be demonstrated is that you are a thoughtful, reflective person who has learned from the events and people in your life.

If the thesis does not need to be demonstrated, then there may not be much purpose in writing the essay. For, example, a statement that “George W. Bush was the forty-third president” or the statement that “Senior proms are exciting” would not be considered arguable by most people and likely would not spark a reader’s interest and make them want to keep reading.

On the other hand, the thesis statements below would need to be explained and illustrated. In that sense, these personal essay thesis statements are equivalent to claims that are “arguable.”

• The evening was nearly ruined because parents acting as dress-code vigilantes threw several people out of the prom.
• My team spent hours planning the prom and managed to head off a repeat of the after-prom drinking that caused some parents to question whether the prom should be held this year.
• Everyone was able to attend the prom proudly because our prom committee got several stores to loan outfits to make certain everyone would feel like they fit in.
• I opted to attend an alternative prom because the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend.

Keep in mind that the actions or events in your essay do not have to make you look heroic. You could write a convincing and powerful essay about how you attended the school-sponsored prom, even though the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend. Your essay, in this case, might, for example, focus on your regret over your decision and your subsequent understanding of how you think you can best challenge the status quo in the future. In other words, you can write an effective personal essay about a moment of regret.

When writing a personal essay for an application of some kind (scholarship, internship, graduate school), remember that the ultimate purpose of the essay is to make you, the essay writer and applicant, look good. That doesn’t mean that you need to describe you doing great things. If your personal essay is all about your grandfather and what an amazing role model and person he was, you still need to think about how your essay can make you (and not just your grandfather) look good. One way to make yourself look good is to make clear that you are a thoughtful, reflective person (and someone smart enough to learn from a man like your grandfather).

https://assessments.lumenlearning.co...essments/20435

Contributors and Attributions

• Narrative Essay. Provided by : Excelsior OWL. Located at : https://owl.excelsior.edu/rhetorical-styles/narrative-essay/narrative-essay-see-it-across-the-disciplines/ . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Narrative Essays. Authored by : Marianne Botos, Lynn McClelland, Stephanie Polliard, Pamela Osback . Located at : https://pvccenglish.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/eng-101-inside-pages-proof2-no-pro.pdf . Project : Horse of a Different Color: English Composition and Rhetoric . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Sample Narrative Essay. Provided by : Georgia State University. Located at : gsuideas.org/SCC/Narration/Sample%20Narrative%20Essay%20Personal%20Statement.html. Project : Writing For Success. License : CC BY: Attribution
• Writing a Narrative Essay. Provided by : Boundless. Located at : courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-writing/chapter/types-of-rhetorical-modes/. License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
• Image of person writing on sticky notes. Authored by : Nappiness. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : pixabay.com/photos/brainstorming-business-professional-441010/. License : Other . License Terms : pixabay.com/service/terms/#license
• Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?. Provided by : Radford University. Located at : https://lcubbison.pressbooks.com/chapter/core-101-personal-essay-assignment/ . Project : Radford University Core Handbook. License : Public Domain: No Known Copyright

Developing a Thesis Statement

Many papers you write require developing a thesis statement. In this section you’ll learn what a thesis statement is and how to write one.

Keep in mind that not all papers require thesis statements . If in doubt, please consult your instructor for assistance.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement . . .

• Makes an argumentative assertion about a topic; it states the conclusions that you have reached about your topic.
• Makes a promise to the reader about the scope, purpose, and direction of your paper.
• Is focused and specific enough to be “proven” within the boundaries of your paper.
• Is generally located near the end of the introduction ; sometimes, in a long paper, the thesis will be expressed in several sentences or in an entire paragraph.
• Identifies the relationships between the pieces of evidence that you are using to support your argument.

Not all papers require thesis statements! Ask your instructor if you’re in doubt whether you need one.

Identify a topic

Your topic is the subject about which you will write. Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic; or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper.

Consider what your assignment asks you to do

Inform yourself about your topic, focus on one aspect of your topic, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts, generate a topic from an assignment.

Below are some possible topics based on sample assignments.

Sample assignment 1

Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II.

Identified topic

Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis

This topic avoids generalities such as “Spain” and “World War II,” addressing instead on Franco’s role (a specific aspect of “Spain”) and the diplomatic relations between the Allies and Axis (a specific aspect of World War II).

Sample assignment 2

Analyze one of Homer’s epic similes in the Iliad.

The relationship between the portrayal of warfare and the epic simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64.

This topic focuses on a single simile and relates it to a single aspect of the Iliad ( warfare being a major theme in that work).

Developing a Thesis Statement–Additional information

Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic, or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper. You’ll want to read your assignment carefully, looking for key terms that you can use to focus your topic.

Sample assignment: Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II Key terms: analyze, Spain’s neutrality, World War II

After you’ve identified the key words in your topic, the next step is to read about them in several sources, or generate as much information as possible through an analysis of your topic. Obviously, the more material or knowledge you have, the more possibilities will be available for a strong argument. For the sample assignment above, you’ll want to look at books and articles on World War II in general, and Spain’s neutrality in particular.

As you consider your options, you must decide to focus on one aspect of your topic. This means that you cannot include everything you’ve learned about your topic, nor should you go off in several directions. If you end up covering too many different aspects of a topic, your paper will sprawl and be unconvincing in its argument, and it most likely will not fulfull the assignment requirements.

For the sample assignment above, both Spain’s neutrality and World War II are topics far too broad to explore in a paper. You may instead decide to focus on Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis , which narrows down what aspects of Spain’s neutrality and World War II you want to discuss, as well as establishes a specific link between those two aspects.

Before you go too far, however, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts. Try to avoid topics that already have too much written about them (i.e., “eating disorders and body image among adolescent women”) or that simply are not important (i.e. “why I like ice cream”). These topics may lead to a thesis that is either dry fact or a weird claim that cannot be supported. A good thesis falls somewhere between the two extremes. To arrive at this point, ask yourself what is new, interesting, contestable, or controversial about your topic.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times . Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Derive a main point from topic

Once you have a topic, you will have to decide what the main point of your paper will be. This point, the “controlling idea,” becomes the core of your argument (thesis statement) and it is the unifying idea to which you will relate all your sub-theses. You can then turn this “controlling idea” into a purpose statement about what you intend to do in your paper.

Look for patterns in your evidence

Compose a purpose statement.

Consult the examples below for suggestions on how to look for patterns in your evidence and construct a purpose statement.

• Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis
• Franco turned to the Allies when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from the Axis

Possible conclusion:

Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: Franco’s desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power.

Purpose statement

This paper will analyze Franco’s diplomacy during World War II to see how it contributed to Spain’s neutrality.

• The simile compares Simoisius to a tree, which is a peaceful, natural image.
• The tree in the simile is chopped down to make wheels for a chariot, which is an object used in warfare.

At first, the simile seems to take the reader away from the world of warfare, but we end up back in that world by the end.

This paper will analyze the way the simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64 moves in and out of the world of warfare.

Derive purpose statement from topic

To find out what your “controlling idea” is, you have to examine and evaluate your evidence . As you consider your evidence, you may notice patterns emerging, data repeated in more than one source, or facts that favor one view more than another. These patterns or data may then lead you to some conclusions about your topic and suggest that you can successfully argue for one idea better than another.

For instance, you might find out that Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis, but when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from them, he turned to the Allies. As you read more about Franco’s decisions, you may conclude that Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: his desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power. Based on this conclusion, you can then write a trial thesis statement to help you decide what material belongs in your paper.

Sometimes you won’t be able to find a focus or identify your “spin” or specific argument immediately. Like some writers, you might begin with a purpose statement just to get yourself going. A purpose statement is one or more sentences that announce your topic and indicate the structure of the paper but do not state the conclusions you have drawn . Thus, you might begin with something like this:

• This paper will look at modern language to see if it reflects male dominance or female oppression.
• I plan to analyze anger and derision in offensive language to see if they represent a challenge of society’s authority.

At some point, you can turn a purpose statement into a thesis statement. As you think and write about your topic, you can restrict, clarify, and refine your argument, crafting your thesis statement to reflect your thinking.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Compose a draft thesis statement

If you are writing a paper that will have an argumentative thesis and are having trouble getting started, the techniques in the table below may help you develop a temporary or “working” thesis statement.

Begin with a purpose statement that you will later turn into a thesis statement.

Assignment: Discuss the history of the Reform Party and explain its influence on the 1990 presidential and Congressional election.

Purpose Statement: This paper briefly sketches the history of the grassroots, conservative, Perot-led Reform Party and analyzes how it influenced the economic and social ideologies of the two mainstream parties.

Question-to-Assertion

If your assignment asks a specific question(s), turn the question(s) into an assertion and give reasons why it is true or reasons for your opinion.

Assignment : What do Aylmer and Rappaccini have to be proud of? Why aren’t they satisfied with these things? How does pride, as demonstrated in “The Birthmark” and “Rappaccini’s Daughter,” lead to unexpected problems?

Beginning thesis statement: Alymer and Rappaccinni are proud of their great knowledge; however, they are also very greedy and are driven to use their knowledge to alter some aspect of nature as a test of their ability. Evil results when they try to “play God.”

Write a sentence that summarizes the main idea of the essay you plan to write.

Main idea: The reason some toys succeed in the market is that they appeal to the consumers’ sense of the ridiculous and their basic desire to laugh at themselves.

Make a list of the ideas that you want to include; consider the ideas and try to group them.

• nature = peaceful
• war matériel = violent (competes with 1?)
• need for time and space to mourn the dead
• war is inescapable (competes with 3?)

Use a formula to arrive at a working thesis statement (you will revise this later).

• although most readers of _______ have argued that _______, closer examination shows that _______.
• _______ uses _______ and _____ to prove that ________.
• phenomenon x is a result of the combination of __________, __________, and _________.

What to keep in mind as you draft an initial thesis statement

Beginning statements obtained through the methods illustrated above can serve as a framework for planning or drafting your paper, but remember they’re not yet the specific, argumentative thesis you want for the final version of your paper. In fact, in its first stages, a thesis statement usually is ill-formed or rough and serves only as a planning tool.

As you write, you may discover evidence that does not fit your temporary or “working” thesis. Or you may reach deeper insights about your topic as you do more research, and you will find that your thesis statement has to be more complicated to match the evidence that you want to use.

You must be willing to reject or omit some evidence in order to keep your paper cohesive and your reader focused. Or you may have to revise your thesis to match the evidence and insights that you want to discuss. Read your draft carefully, noting the conclusions you have drawn and the major ideas which support or prove those conclusions. These will be the elements of your final thesis statement.

Sometimes you will not be able to identify these elements in your early drafts, but as you consider how your argument is developing and how your evidence supports your main idea, ask yourself, “ What is the main point that I want to prove/discuss? ” and “ How will I convince the reader that this is true? ” When you can answer these questions, then you can begin to refine the thesis statement.

Refine and polish the thesis statement

To get to your final thesis, you’ll need to refine your draft thesis so that it’s specific and arguable.

• Ask if your draft thesis addresses the assignment
• Question each part of your draft thesis
• Clarify vague phrases and assertions
• Investigate alternatives to your draft thesis

Consult the example below for suggestions on how to refine your draft thesis statement.

Sample Assignment

Choose an activity and define it as a symbol of American culture. Your essay should cause the reader to think critically about the society which produces and enjoys that activity.

• Ask The phenomenon of drive-in facilities is an interesting symbol of american culture, and these facilities demonstrate significant characteristics of our society.This statement does not fulfill the assignment because it does not require the reader to think critically about society.

Drive-ins are an interesting symbol of American culture because they represent Americans’ significant creativity and business ingenuity.

Among the types of drive-in facilities familiar during the twentieth century, drive-in movie theaters best represent American creativity, not merely because they were the forerunner of later drive-ins and drive-throughs, but because of their impact on our culture: they changed our relationship to the automobile, changed the way people experienced movies, and changed movie-going into a family activity.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast-food establishments, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize America’s economic ingenuity, they also have affected our personal standards.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast- food restaurants, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize (1) Americans’ business ingenuity, they also have contributed (2) to an increasing homogenization of our culture, (3) a willingness to depersonalize relationships with others, and (4) a tendency to sacrifice quality for convenience.

This statement is now specific and fulfills all parts of the assignment. This version, like any good thesis, is not self-evident; its points, 1-4, will have to be proven with evidence in the body of the paper. The numbers in this statement indicate the order in which the points will be presented. Depending on the length of the paper, there could be one paragraph for each numbered item or there could be blocks of paragraph for even pages for each one.

Complete the final thesis statement

The bottom line.

As you move through the process of crafting a thesis, you’ll need to remember four things:

• Context matters! Think about your course materials and lectures. Try to relate your thesis to the ideas your instructor is discussing.
• As you go through the process described in this section, always keep your assignment in mind . You will be more successful when your thesis (and paper) responds to the assignment than if it argues a semi-related idea.
• Your thesis statement should be precise, focused, and contestable ; it should predict the sub-theses or blocks of information that you will use to prove your argument.
• Make sure that you keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Change your thesis as your paper evolves, because you do not want your thesis to promise more than your paper actually delivers.

In the beginning, the thesis statement was a tool to help you sharpen your focus, limit material and establish the paper’s purpose. When your paper is finished, however, the thesis statement becomes a tool for your reader. It tells the reader what you have learned about your topic and what evidence led you to your conclusion. It keeps the reader on track–well able to understand and appreciate your argument.

Writing Process and Structure

This is an accordion element with a series of buttons that open and close related content panels.

Getting Started with Your Paper

Interpreting Writing Assignments from Your Courses

Generating Ideas for

Creating an Argument

Thesis vs. Purpose Statements

Architecture of Arguments

Working with Sources

Quoting and Paraphrasing Sources

Using Literary Quotations

Citing Sources in Your Paper

Drafting Your Paper

Generating Ideas for Your Paper

Introductions

Paragraphing

Developing Strategic Transitions

Conclusions

Revising Your Paper

Peer Reviews

Reverse Outlines

Revising an Argumentative Paper

Revision Strategies for Longer Projects

Finishing Your Paper

Twelve Common Errors: An Editing Checklist

How to Proofread your Paper

Writing Collaboratively

Collaborative and Group Writing

Writing a thesis and topic sentences in your personal statement

Every applicant who needs to write a personal statement struggles with structuring their personal statement.  It is hard enough to muster the courage to brainstorm your most salient life experiences on paper; now, the most important part is structuring your personal statement with your thesis and topic sentences.

What's a thesis?

Your thesis and topic sentences are tools – think of them as signposts for your reader to follow the map of your argument. Without clear, well-marked signs, the reader will be lost. A thesis statement is the main point you’re trying to communicate. That’s it.

However, there are many features of a good thesis statement that you should consider when drafting your own:

A good thesis statement is arguable.

This means that you’re making a claim that others may dispute. Without this feature of a thesis statement, the paper will lack tension. Oftentimes a main point that isn’t arguable is boring, and/or stating the obvious.

A good thesis statement anticipates what’s to come.

This is essential – the think of the thesis statement as establishing rules for the game of the paper. You want to be sure that what follows the thesis statement is aligned with the theme and the evidence that you’re using in the body of your paper.

A good thesis statement is clear and specific.

Though you probably have many examples and themes that you want to include in your personal statement, it is important to stick to one central argument. A good thesis sentence will hold you accountable to this – if you find yourself bleeding into two or three sentences, it is probably an indication that you’re trying to fit too much.

How to create a thesis

Now that we’ve defined a thesis, you’re curious how to create one of your own, aren’t you? Before you develop a thesis, you need to look at the evidence you’ve gathered to see if it falls in line with a clear point or idea. You’ve already done the work of grouping your evidence into buckets of theme, so now your job is to write down a “working thesis” – a point that serves as a starting place for your argument, but may change over time as you continue to tease out your evidence.

What are topic sentences?

If the thesis is the focus of the statement in its entirety, the topic sentences are the focus of the body paragraphs. Topic sentences are the most important sentence of the paragraph, and oftentimes extend or embellish the thesis by introducing the evidence of the paragraph.

Some things to keep in mind when writing your topic sentences: 

A good topic sentence always supports the thesis of your paper.

The topic sentences should be a litmus for staying on track with your argument. They should certainly extend, complicate, and develop your argument, but they should always support it as well. 

A good topic sentence should introduce the evidence that supports your claim.

If you think about your paper as a court case, think about your topic sentences as a lawyer’s address to the jury. A topic sentence should always introduce the evidence that you are using to persuade a group of people – a jury of your peers.

Now that we’ve discussed the definitions of our topic sentences, you can revisit your working thesis. Keeping in mind the evidence that you’d like to use in each paragraph to support your working thesis, go ahead and write the topic sentence above the correlating piece of evidence on the following page.

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How to Write a Personal Essay: 6 Tips for Writing Personal Essays

Written by MasterClass

Last updated: Sep 9, 2021 • 3 min read

People write personal essays for a number of reasons. High school students write them for college admissions and writers use them to share personal stories with others. A personal narrative essay can enlighten and inspire an audience with information gained from real life experiences.

Personal Essay | Definition, Guidelines & Tips

Abby has worked with grades 1 through 8 as a specialist and teaching assistant for over five years. They have been writing ELA and SS curriculum for almost ten years. They have a Bachelor's degree in the humanities, specializing in American Indian studies and radical pedagogy from Michigan State University, and are currently earning an MEd from the University of Toronto in Indigenous knowledge and decolonizing education.

Amy has taught college and law school writing courses. She holds a master's degree in English and a law degree.

What are 5 elements of a personal essay?

Personal essays can take on a number of forms, but there are typically five elements to them. The five elements of a personal essay are a strong opening hook, interesting story, interesting characters, absorbing setting, and an ultimate point or conclusion.

How do you write a personal essay?

A personal essay can be written in accordance with a traditional five-paragraph format, but also can be made to be more creative in format. The unifying characteristic across all personal essays is the focus on recounting a personal experience and how a writer's life has been shaped by that experience.

Table of Contents

What is a personal essay, how to write a personal essay, personal essay guidelines, lesson summary.

A personal essay is an autobiographical or non-fiction piece of writing. It focuses on a specific occurrence, how its author experienced that occurrence, and how the author's life has book-ended that occurrence (the "before" and "after" of the titular thing in question).

Why Write a Personal Narrative Essay About Yourself?

In choosing to write a personal essay, as opposed to other types of essays or personal statements, an author is choosing to compose a narrative about themselves , from their own point of view, with a focus on a specific event and how it has shaped them. Where a personal statement offers an overview of a person's life, professional experience, or other surveys of personal information, a personal essay shares a specific occurrence and its impacts, perhaps even its larger implications, from the author's perspective . These essays give authors the chance to use their own life experiences to inform a specific point that might reach beyond their own lives.

Elements of a Personal Essay

Personal essays are commonly attributed a specific, five-paragraph format, involving an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Creative formats, however, abound too. Ultimately, there is no set format for a creative essay, but there is a general structure to be found in most: the telling of a specific story, and how that story impacted the author.

How a story is told can adhere to any number of structures, from braids to linear narrative arcs to circles. The pieces can be a strict five paragraphs or run shorter or longer. Tone is personal, casual, or otherwise such that readers feel invited into the story being told. Unlike other types of writing, personal essays are defined by their vulnerability. As a writer shares a vulnerable part of themselves, they invite readers to travel with them. This includes processing and reflecting on the subject of the essay as well as their own personal stories. The five basic elements of a personal essay are a strong opening hook or attention-grabbing introduction, an interesting story, interesting characters, an absorbing setting, and an ultimate point or conclusion.

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• 0:05 Reasons for a Personal Essay
• 0:56 Identify Your Purpose
• 3:16 Three Important Guidelines
• 5:55 Lesson Summary

Personal essays are created over a series of steps, starting with brainstorming and ending with publication or completion. Those steps are as follows:

Brainstorming

Personal essay writers generate possible essay ideas. This is how to start a personal essay. A writer may begin with an exploration of topics, listing of personal events or stories, reading other writers' personal essays, or a process of reflecting upon what about themselves they (the writer) might like to explore in writing.

Topic Selection

Personal essay writers select an occurrence about which to start writing. This occurrence may be replaced by another one over the course of the writing process, or it may evolve to center its focus in a slightly different way. But by selecting a singular event or story to write about, writers have a starting line from which to work.

Personal essay writers outline their essays before beginning to write them. If writers are adhering to the more traditional five-paragraph format, outlines will detail what an author wishes to include in their introductory paragraph, in each of the following three body paragraphs, and their conclusion paragraphs . The actual contents of these paragraphs may change over the course of the writing process but outlining allows writers to shape the direction of their work and identify which ideas they would like to develop and why.

If an essay is not following the five-paragraph format, outlines still offer writers the chance to map out a piece's trajectory. If a writer wants to toggle back and forth between the past and present in an essay, they can use their outline process. This allows them to decide when they will switch between the two eras, and how to make that transition happen effectively. If a writer wants to include a secondary story alongside the primary one, outlining how the two will interact and serve each other will help the writer convey each story and its overlap with the other effectively.

First Draft

Personal essay writers write a first draft of their essay, testing out the story and how they want to tell it, exploring what works and does not work. Drafts are not published, as they are not an essay's final form. This means that writers can freely make mistakes and experiment with structure, tone, and word use in order to find what works best for a specific essay.

Personal essay writers will personally edit their essays and also have others edit their essays. The intent during this process is to remove what does not work in a draft, restructure it, if need be, and ensure the story or stories the author wishes to tell are getting their due. Writers then revise their pieces based on this editing feedback. This step can be repeated more than once as writers prefer.

Final Draft

Personal essay writers take a final pass over their work and then ask others to do the same, confirming the content and clarity of an essay before its final release.

Although personal essays can be very creative, flexible pieces of writing, there are a few guidelines that can aid authors in their efforts to write interesting, thought-provoking pieces:

• Narrowing an essay's scope, trying to focus on a specific occurrence instead of a broad topic or series of events. This helps writers keep their essays focused and effective.
• Editing ideas, a process through which authors can limit how much material is included in an essay and instead concentrate on detailing the material that IS included. This helps to ensure that the writing comes to life for readers, without overwhelming them with the sheer volume of content.
• Staying on topic allows writers to keep an essay closely tied to a central theme, instead of overextending the piece and overwhelming readers (which is intertwined with the "editing ideas" guideline).
• Supporting the main idea guides writers as they develop their essays, choosing words and ideas that support the overall intent of the piece, as opposed to diluting its effectiveness by including multiple ideas.
• Using an outline helps writers reach the benchmarks they have set for themselves in the development of their essays. It ensures the inclusion and order of events as the writer originally envisioned. This keeps the writing organized and its structure consistent.

Tips for Writing a Personal Essay

In addition to the personal essay guidelines listed above, some other tips for successfully writing a personal essay include:

• Trying to both show AND tell in writing. Personal essays give authors the chance to "show" through explorations of emotions, thoughts, and more. But they also leave room for writers to "tell," frankly laying out the facts of an event or the reactions elicited by a conversation, etc.
• Centering the personal, instead of the universal. Personal essays invite readers into an author's singular experience of something. The more true to themselves and vulnerable a writer is, the more effective their essay can be.
• Following the direction of the story. An author might intend to write an essay about a disastrous family road trip they took as a teenager, but partway through, realize that, in fact, the story they really want to tell is about why their relationship with their siblings is so strained.

Ways to avoid common mistakes when writing a personal essay include:

• Writing a strong ending. If a writer can develop a general conception (if not a specific idea) of what the conclusive event or words of an essay will be, before arriving at the end, that knowledge can then inform the whole piece's development.
• Writing defensively instead of honestly. If a writer composes an essay that is intended to tell a story but ultimately focuses on the author's defensiveness regarding that story, readers are left with a singular choice: to either agree with the author or disagree. When an author tells a story, offering personal experience and insight for others to ingest, readers can reflect on their narrative and own experiences, drawing new and different conclusions.
• Writing a list of events instead of a story. No matter what format a writer uses in their essay composition, an itinerary of events does not create a compelling narrative. An essay writer must weave together information, details, and descriptions in order to guide readers through the piece, instead of handing them a checklist of facts.

Personal essays are a form of writing that can be either creative, nonfiction, or autobiographical. They can entertain and also support, argue against, or inform a claim. They can adhere to a five-paragraph format, or take on different, more creative formats. They can also be structured in a linear fashion, or weave back and forth through time and space. This allows them to introduce additional stories, new perspectives, and other aspects of writing that step beyond the lines of traditional formats. The unifying factor across all personal essays is the intent to share and explore a personal event in the writer's life. The event might relate to broader topics (for example, a story about gender discrimination), but these essays are most effective when kept to a narrow scope, focusing on vulnerability and reflection from the writer themselves about a singular occurrence they have experienced.

Personal essays can be developed in accordance with the step-by-step writing process, involving brainstorming, outlining, drafting, revising, and finalizing. Having an outline to help guide the process can aid writers in keeping their essays focused and narrowed to a specific topic. The more honest and focused an essay is, right up through its conclusion, the more involvement it can elicit from readers, and stimulate outsider reflection and engagement far beyond the writers' original intentions.

Video Transcript

Reasons for a personal essay.

Have you ever met someone at a party, and within the first few minutes, they've given you way too much personal information? You may have thought, 'Hey, I don't even know you, and I definitely don't need to know all of those details!'

Well, when you're assigned a personal essay , your job is to do what our friend there didn't do, and that's strike a good balance. You need to give glimpses of yourself - your personal experiences, observations and views - but you need to do so with a specific purpose in mind. Your job isn't to throw out a ton of details, but rather to achieve a certain goal by using a select few of those experiences, observations, and views.

You may be asked to write a personal essay as part of the application process for a college, or you might be given the assignment of writing a personal essay for a writing course or a test. Whatever the case may be, there are a few things that you should keep in mind in order to keep your personal essay on track.

Identify Your Purpose

There are three major types of personal essays , and we can identify each by its purpose. Some personal essays are meant to entertain, some are meant to inform, and others are meant to support or oppose a specific position. So when you're writing a personal essay, the most important thing to do is to identify your purpose.

Perhaps you're writing a narrative essay that tells a story about a significant event that happened to you. If that's the case, you need to ask yourself whether your purpose is to entertain, as some stories do, or perhaps to do something altogether different.

If you're writing a narrative essay as part of an application, for example, your goal should ultimately be to inform, to let your reader know something important about yourself - to underscore a specific feature like your athleticism, your artistic abilities or the fact that you're well-traveled, for example. If this is the case, remember our friend from the party, and think about which details are important to flesh your story out. Which details capture the message that you're trying to convey? Remember: stay on track, and don't ramble. Use your personal experiences and observations to support your main point or main idea.

If you're writing a personal essay that's meant to inform the reader about some specific aspect of your life, like the fact that you do a lot of volunteer work, it can be a good idea to carefully choose a few specific anecdotes that help illustrate your commitment to volunteer work, and to describe each of those anecdotes briefly, spending roughly the same amount of time on each short story.

Remember that there is a third major type of personal essay. You may be asked to write a personal essay that requires you to support or oppose a specific position, supporting your reasoning with experiences and observations from your own life. Keep in mind that this type of personal essay differs a bit from the typical persuasive essay because with a typical persuasive essay , you'll often rely on external evidence - facts, statistics, expert opinions - to build your case, much like a lawyer would.

But in a personal essay that supports or opposes a specific position, your job will be to support or oppose an idea based on your own experiences, observations, and views. Remember our friend from the party, though. Your job isn't just to throw out random, overly-detailed stories. Instead, you should think carefully about what experiences or observations you want to share to support your position .

Three Important Guidelines

Keep in mind these general guidelines:

1. Narrow Your Scope

Especially when you're writing a personal essay with the purpose of supporting or opposing a particular point, it's best to stick to a specific theme with the personal experiences and observations that you bring up in support of your position.

For example, if you're writing a personal essay in which you support the position that public schools should require students to wear school uniforms, you might explain your personal experience of having worn school uniforms, and explain that it helped you focus on your school work. Explain how it helped, using a few concrete examples.

If you bring up several completely different examples in a relatively short personal essay, you might feel that you're providing ample evidence in support of your point, but you may actually be creating a real problem: an essay that feels scattered and that lacks focus. So instead, work on achieving a narrow scope in which you offer one major example or a few related examples.

2. Edit Your Ideas

As you think about how to use your personal observations and experiences to show your support for or opposition to a position, keep your eye on the ball. (The ball here is the main point of your essay.)

You may have observed or experienced a lot of things that relate to the topic of your essay, but that doesn't mean that those things are relevant and should be in your essay. Always ask yourself: does the idea that I'm about to include support my point? For example, you may have worn your school uniform to a lot of activities, like chess club after school, but if that fact has no bearing on your position that public school uniforms are a good idea, then edit that idea, and omit it from your essay.

3. Don't Meander

This guideline is similar to the previous one. As I mentioned, it's important to omit irrelevant facts and ideas. It's just as important to keep relevant points on track. For example, you might explain in your essay that wearing a school uniform helped you focus clearly on your class lectures because you had fewer fashion-based distractions. Then, describe how that was the case, but don't wander into a story about the fact that your best friend thought that the school uniforms were a terrible idea and that the two of you used to get into heated debates about them.

To help yourself stay on track, it can be very helpful to sketch out a quick outline for your own use before you start writing your actual essay - even a personal essay - as it can help keep you on track with the points you need to make.

If you've been asked to provide your own personal experiences and observations to support or oppose a position, remember that your position on the issue you're writing about should be the centerpiece of your essay. Your stories about your experiences and observations are important, but they should be details presented in an organized way to support your main point.

Remember that there are different types of personal essays, and when writing one, your purpose might be to entertain, to inform, or to support or oppose a specific position. No matter which type of personal essay you're writing, you want to present your personal experiences, observations, and views with your particular purpose in mind. Remember to stay focused with a narrow scope, to edit your ideas so that you're presenting only relevant points, and be sure that you don't meander. Rein in your points and examples so that you don't ramble in your paper.

Lesson Objectives

After watching this lesson, you should be able to:

• Identify three types of personal essays, based on writing purpose
• Construct your own personal essays by following the three important guidelines

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How to Write a Personal Essay

Published September 27, 2020. Updated May 20, 2022.

Personal Essay Definition

A personal essay is an essay that tells about you, about some aspect of yourself and your life that you wish to share.

Overview of a Personal Essay

A personal essay is all about the one who is writing the essay, but it is structured and organized in a predictable pattern. A personal essay is a part narration (telling a story), part description, and part reflection (analyzing something that happened and attributing meaning to it). You can write a full-length personal essay without doing research. This kind of essay helps to show your writing skills and abilities and helps the reader get to know you and your writing voice. However, a personal essay still needs a focus.

This page covers the following points:

Key Takeaways

What is a personal essay, parts of an essay, why would you be asked to write a personal essay, what a personal essay needs to have, possible topics to write about.

• A personal essay is about you, about some aspect of yourself and your life that you wish to share
• A teacher might assign a personal essay as a way to get to know you and your writing style
• A personal essay still needs to follow the conventions and structures of essay writing
• A personal essay should have a well-defined beginning, middle, and end

If you look at the name, a personal essay is an essay about YOU. You know something about yourself, right? This should be a piece of cake to write!

Now, hang on just a second…

Yes, it’s about you, but don’t forget that second part of the name: essay. It is still an essay that needs to follow the conventions and structures of essay writing.

So a personal essay is not just five paragraphs that go on and on about your favorite movies.

A personal essay is all about you, but it is structured and organized in a predictable pattern. It is part narration (telling a story), part description, and part reflection (analyzing something that happened and attributing meaning to it).

To help you write a personal essay, this guide will:

• Tell you why a teacher might assign a personal essay
• List what a personal essay needs to have
• Give you a list of possible topics to write about
• Take you through the parts of an essay, with a sample

Worried about your writing? Submit your paper for a Chegg Writing essay check , or for an Expert Check proofreading . Both can help you find and fix potential writing issues.

Most essays have three parts: an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.

Think of the organization of an essay like this:

• Intro – Tell your reader what you’re going to write about
• Body – Write about it
• Conclusion – Tell them what you wrote about

Let’s go through each part of a personal essay. Each part includes a sample.

Introduction

You want to begin your essay with a hook . A hook is an interesting opening that “catches” your reader and makes them want to read more. Your hook is usually the first sentence or two. Since this is a personal essay, it’s fine to have your hook be something interesting about you.

After you’ve hooked the reader, you want to give some context or background information. Think of each sentence in your intro as a stepping point. Each sentence brings you closer to your thesis statement.

Once you’ve given some context, write a thesis statement, which tells the reader exactly what they’re going to read about. Since it’s a personal essay, this should preview for the reader what they’re going to learn about you. Think of it as a map to the rest of your essay.

Sample Introduction

Can you identify the hook, background information, and thesis statement in this sample?

Did you know that children can “absorb” languages without even trying? Until the age of about nine, children acquire languages, and they can acquire more than one at a time. After that age, new languages must be learned, which is a long, slow process. I acquired two languages as a child because my parents spoke Spanish at home, but I learned English at school. Then, in university, I decided to try to learn a third language: French. After years of learning and some practicing, I can communicate in basic French.

A typical essay has between one and three body paragraphs, although you can write as many as you need (or as many as your teacher assigns you). Regardless of how many body paragraphs, they will all be organized in a similar manner.

Start with a topic sentence to show your reader what is coming up. This is a general sentence that gives an overview of that paragraph.

The substance of a personal body paragraph is, of course, information about you. Whatever you’re sharing with the reader goes here.

End a body paragraph with a sentence that summarizes what you wrote or that leads into the next paragraph.

Sample Body Paragraphs

Can you identify the topic sentences? Is all of the information in the body paragraphs about the writer?

In university, I chose to study French for two reasons. First, I thought it was the most beautiful language I’d ever heard. Second, I wanted the experience of learning a language, of learning vocabulary and grammar little by little. I took a French class every semester of college and by the time I graduated… well, the truth is that I still couldn’t communicate easily. But I was determined to continue learning until I could.

In graduate school, I needed an elective, so I chose a French class. I took a placement test and was placed in French 102. At first, I was devastated – four years of college French and I was back in French 102? But I decided to embrace the opportunity to keep learning. My decision paid off. Because I was a little older, I approached my French in a more mature way. I was able to understand the grammar better, and I was less shy about speaking up. One of our assignments was to give a three-minute presentation in French about a French topic, and I spoke about cheese. I will admit that a lot of translation took place while I was writing my presentation, but the presentation was a success.

After graduate school, I took the opportunity to spend six months in a French-speaking country. At first, I was very nervous. We have all heard the stereotype of finicky French people who won’t talk to you if your French isn’t perfect. That wasn’t my experience at all; I was able to communicate enough to buy a baguette every morning, ask for directions, order a pizza, and generally make my way in this French-speaking country.

Before you turn in that paper, don’t forget to cite your sources in APA format , MLA format , or a style of your choice.

This is how your essay ends and is the last impression your reader takes away.

Conclude your essay by tying back to your thesis statement (from the introduction). Then, summarize the main points of your essay.

If you want, end with a closing statement: an idea that you want your reader to walk away with. If you haven’t included a reflection in the body paragraphs, the closing statement would be a good place to put it.

Sample Conclusion

Can you identify the sentence that ties back to the thesis statement? Can you identify the summary of the main points? Can you identify a closing statement?

Even now, I wouldn’t say I’m a fluent French speaker. Will I ever be? I don’t know, but I can proudly say that I am able to communicate in French well enough to make myself understood and to understand what other people tell me, even if I often have to ask, “Can you speak more slowly, please?” in French. Learning another language is not an easy process. You have to really want it because it will take time and effort. However, if you are dedicated, you can definitely learn another language successfully enough to communicate. 

Example Personal Essay on Learning French

Example personal essay on loving writing.

A teacher might assign a personal essay for a variety of reasons, especially early on in the semester or school year. Here are a few of those reasons:

• You might need to brainstorm or outline what you want to write about, but you shouldn’t need research. After all, you’re writing about YOU.
• Your teacher will be able to see how you write. Can you structure sentences? Are your ideas coherent? Are you creative? How is your vocabulary?
• Do you know what the introduction, body, and conclusion are? Do you include a thesis statement and paragraphs? Do you clearly transition your ideas?
• At the beginning of a school term, this is an excellent way for a teacher to get to know their students. What you choose to write about will reveal who you are, and how you choose to write tells the teacher something about your writing voice.

It would be nice to think you can just write whatever you want about yourself, but that would not necessarily be an essay.

A personal essay still needs to have a focus: what is it about? It won’t address everything about you. This is an essay, not a 20-volume encyclopedia.

A personal essay still needs to be organized. It needs to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. The reader should feel like they took a trip to a particular destination, not like they’re lost in the woods, wandering aimlessly.

A personal essay still needs to have developed characters. Characters? Yes. They don’t just appear in fiction. Whoever populates your essay – whether it’s just you, or you and your family, or you and your friends – they are considered characters, and they should be developed.

A personal essay still needs to have consistency in point of view and verb tense. This sounds more technical, but because you’ll be writing about yourself, you want to make sure your point of view remains consistent. Adopting the first-person point of view is perfectly acceptable. Write “I” all over the place! But don’t start referring to yourself as “she” or “he” halfway through, because that will confuse your reader. Also, keep your verb tenses consistent. Are you writing in the present tense? Be consistent. Are you writing in the past tense? Be consistent. Will you jump back and forth in time? Make sure you don’t lose your reader when you make those switches.

A personal essay still needs to make a point by the end. Reflect on what this all meant. Why did you choose to write about this ? Let’s say you write about your relationship with your grandmother. At the end of the essay, your reader should understand what was important about your relationship with her. How did she impact you? How is your life different, better, sweeter because of your relationship with her? Make sure your essay answers those questions for your readers.

Since a personal essay is, you know, personal, it’s better to choose a topic that resonates with you. If the topic makes you feel meh , don’t choose that one! Don’t like any of these? Choose something else that you want to share!

For each of these topics, you can write about something positive or negative, as long as it was meaningful to you:

• Your relationship with a family member
• Your relationship with a friend or loved one
• An animal, such as a pet, that affected you
• A place where you felt comfortable
• A place where you felt uncomfortable
• An experience you had growing up
• A situation that didn’t turn out the way you expected
• A difficult lesson you learned
• A strong belief you have
• A goal you accomplished with hard work

Published September 7, 2020.

By Halina Stolar. Halina has a master’s degree in teaching and taught English as a Second Language and writing for almost 15 years overseas. She now works as a freelance writer and geeks out over grammar for fun.

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How to Write a Personal Essay

Last Updated: February 2, 2023 Approved

This article was co-authored by Jake Adams . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 16 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 311,142 times.

A good personal essay can move and inspire readers. It can also leave the reader unsettled, uncertain, and full of more questions than answers. To write an effective personal essay, you will need to first understand the structure of a personal essay. You will then need to brainstorm ideas for the personal essay so you are ready when it is time to sit down and craft your essay.

Starting Your Personal Essay

• For example, maybe you want to write about an experience where you learned about failure. You may think the time you failed a pop quiz in class. Though the quiz may have seemed insignificant to you at the time, you realized later that failing the pop quiz forced you to reassess your goals and motivated you to get a passing grade. Seen from a certain angle, your small failure became a gateway to perseverance and determination.

• This could be a seemingly small moment that ended up having a profound influence on you later, such the first time you experienced disgust as a child or the look on your mother’s face when you told her you were gay. Try to really dig into why you were hurt or compelled to overcome a challenge in this moment in your essay.
• Remember that moments charged with strong emotion will often be more engaging to readers. Having a strong reaction to a specific moment will allow you to write passionately about it and keep your reader interested in your essay.

• For example, you may focus on the day you found out your father cheated on your mother, or the week you mourned the death of a loved one. Think about a heavy experience in your life that shaped who you are today.
• You may also decide to write about a seemingly light topic or event, such as your first ride on a roller coaster, or the first time you went on a cruise with your partner. No matter what event you choose, make sure it is an event that triggered a strong emotional response, ranging from anger to confusion to unabashed joy.

• For example, you may think about why you and your mother stopped speaking years ago or why you are no longer close to a childhood friend. You may also look at past romantic relationships that failed and consider why they did not succeed or a relationship with a mentor that went sour.
• This could also be about someone that you're close with. For example, you could write about a moment that tested your relationship with a close friend.

• Ask yourself questions about the current event. For example, how does the current event intersect with your own experiences? How can you explore a current social issue or event using your personal thoughts, experiences, and emotions?
• For example, you may have an interest in writing about Syrian refugee camps in Europe. You may then focus your personal essay on your own status as a refugee in America and how your experiences a refugee have shaped the person you are now. This will allow you to explore a current event from a personal perspective, rather than simply talk about the current event from a distant, journalistic perspective.

• The introductory section should include “the hook”, opening lines where you catch the reader’s attention. It should also have some sort of narrative thesis, which is often the beginning of an important event in the piece or a theme that connects your experience to a universal idea.
• The body sections should include supporting evidence for your narrative thesis and/or the key themes in your piece. Often, this is in the form of your experiences and your reflections on your experiences. You should also note the passage of time in your body sections so the reader is aware of when and how certain events occurred.
• The concluding section should include a conclusion to the events and experiences discussed in the essay. You should also have a moral of the story moment, where you reflect on what you learned from your experiences or how your experiences changed your life.
• In the past, it was advised to have five paragraphs total, one paragraph for the introductory section, three paragraphs for the body section, and one paragraph for the concluding section. But you can have more or less than five paragraphs for your personal essay as long as you have all three sections.

Writing the Personal Essay

• Don't begin with a line that explains exactly what is going to be discussed in, such as, “In this essay, I will be discussing my fraught relationship with my mother." Instead, draw your reader into your piece and still provide all the information needed in your opening line.
• Start instead with a specific scene that contains the key characters of the essay and allows you discuss the central question or theme. Doing this will allow you to introduce the reader to the characters and the central conflict right away.
• For example, if you are writing about your fraught relationship with your mother, you may focus on a specific memory where you both disagreed or clashed. This could be the time you and your mother fought over a seemingly insignificant item, or the time you argued about a family secret.
• Try to use an active voice instead of a passive voice as much as possible when you're writing your essay.

• This writing voice may be conversational, much like how you might speak to a good friend or a family member. Or, the writing voice may be more reflective and internal, where you question your own assumptions and thoughts about the subject of the essay.
• Many personal essays are written in the first person, using “I”. You may decide to write in the present tense to make the story feel immediate, or past tense, which will allow you to reflect more on specific events or moments.
• Include vivid sensory descriptions in your essay to help the reader connect with your unique perspective. Describing touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound can help the reader invest in your story and feel like they're there with you.

• You can also include lines of dialogue spoken by your characters, based on your memory of the event. However, you should limit dialogue to only a few lines a page, as too much dialogue can start to veer away from personal essay and more toward fiction.

• You may use a plot outline to organize your essay. The plot points should act as supporting evidence for the central question or issue of the essay.

• It’s important to remember that though an experience may appear to have all the drama necessary to make a good personal essay, it may be a drama that is too familiar to the reader already. Be wary of experiences that are familiar and filled with pathos that a reader may have experienced before.
• If you are writing about the sudden death of a loved one, for example, it may feel important and deep to you. But the reader will likely know what to expect of an essay about a dead loved one, and may not relate to your essay because they did not know the loved one like you did.
• Instead, you may try to uncover a truth that is deeper than “I am sad my loved one died.” Think about what the loved one meant to you and how the loved one affected your life, in positive and negative ways. This could lead to the uncovering of a deeper truth and a stronger personal essay.

Polishing Your Essay

• For example, you may use metaphor to describe the experience of telling your mother you are gay. You may describe your mother’s face as “impenetrable, a sudden wall”. Or you may use a simile, such as “my mother’s reaction was silent and stunned, as if she had been struck by lightning.”

• As you read it out loud, you should highlight any sentences that are confusing or unclear as well as sentences that do not appear as strong as the rest of the draft. You should also make sure your characters are well developed and your essay follows some kind of structure or sense of plot. Consider if you are hitting a deeper truth in your draft and what you can do to get there if it is not yet on the page.Revising your essay will only make it that much stronger.

• When you are revising, you should consider if your content is really worth writing about, if you are writing about a topic or subject you are passionate about, and if your reader will understand your writing. You want to avoid confusing your reader, as this can turn her off from reading to the end of your essay.
• You should also make sure the focus and themes of the essay are clear. Your experiences should center around a central question, issue, or theme. This will ensure your personal essay is well written and concise.
• Avoid relying on spellcheck to catch all of the spelling and grammar errors in your essay.

Expert Q&A

• To get a better sense of the genre, you should read highly crafted examples of personal essay. There are several known personal essays that are often taught in academia, including "Notes of a Native Son” by James Baldwin, “The Death of a Moth” by Virginia Woolf, “Shipping Out” by David Foster Wallace, “The White Album” by Joan Didion, and “We Do Abortions Here” by Sallie Tisdale. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Ask yourself several questions as you read the examples, such as: How does the writer introduce the subject of their essay? How does the writer explore the subject for a personal perspective? What are the key themes in the essay? How does the writer connect their personal experiences to a universal theme or idea? How does the writer use humor or wit in the essay? What is the concluding moral of the essay? Does the end of the essay leave you satisfied, unsettled, curious, or all of the above? Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

Sample Essay and Template

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://owl.excelsior.edu/writing-process/thesis-sentence/thesis-sentence-angles/
• ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
• ↑ https://courses.lumenlearning.com/englishcomp1/chapter/writing-a-narrative-or-personal-essay/
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/personal-essay/
• ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-write-a-personal-essay
• ↑ https://stlcc.edu/student-support/academic-success-and-tutoring/writing-center/writing-resources/point-of-view-in-academic-writing.aspx
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/story-plot/
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/literary-devices/
• ↑ http://admissions.vanderbilt.edu/vandybloggers/2013/09/how-to-write-your-personal-essay/
• ↑ http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/revising-drafts/

About This Article

To write a personal essay, start by deciding on an experience that affected your life in some way, such as how failing a pop quiz in class made you change your goals. Next, draft an outline containing the points you want to make, and including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. When writing, start your essay with an engaging scene that introduces the characters and main theme, then develop the characters in the body section so they're well-rounded. Conclude by summing up what you learned from the experience. For tips on how to include a plot in your essay and how to proofread your work, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Thesis Statement for Narrative Essay

Thesis statement generator for narrative essay.

In a narrative essay, the journey of your story is pivotal, but it’s the thesis statement that gives your tale its essence and purpose. Serving as a guidepost, the thesis captures the core message or emotion, ensuring readers are primed for what’s to come. Whether you’re narrating a personal experience or weaving a fictional tale, your thesis should be clear, evocative, and compelling. Dive in to explore examples, discover writing techniques, and imbibe tips to craft the perfect narrative essay thesis.

What is a Narrative Essay Thesis Statement? – Definition

A narrative essay thesis statement is a concise summary or main point of your personal story or experience. Unlike argumentative or analytical thesis statements, it doesn’t necessarily present an argument or a point of debate. Instead, it sets the tone for the narrative and provides a glimpse into the lesson, theme, or insight the story intends to convey. Essentially, it captures the essence of your narrative and gives readers an idea of what to expect.

What is the Best Thesis Statement Example for Narrative Essay?

While “best” is subjective and can vary based on the specific narrative, a compelling example might be:

“Despite the biting cold and fatigue, reaching the mountain’s summit at sunrise illuminated not just the world below, but also a truth: challenges, no matter how insurmountable, can be conquered with perseverance and a dash of courage.”

This statement provides a hint about the narrative’s setting (mountain summit at sunrise) and its central theme (overcoming challenges through perseverance and courage).

100 Thesis Statement Examples for Narrative Essay

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• “The summer of ’09 wasn’t about the places I went, but the journey of self-discovery I embarked on.”
• “In the midst of city lights, I found solace not in people but in the night’s embrace.”
• “The relentless waves on that fateful day taught me about nature’s might and the fragility of life.”
• “Grandma’s tales, woven with age-old wisdom, became my compass in life’s unpredictable journey.”
• “Amidst the hustle of the market, I learned that life’s most profound lessons can come from unexpected places.”
• “The old treehouse was more than wood and nails; it was a testament to childhood dreams and boundless imagination.”
• “Lost in a foreign land, I discovered the universal language of kindness and smiles.”
• “The train journey painted a tapestry of landscapes, emotions, and fleeting encounters.”
• “Under the autumn sky, I found that letting go can be as beautiful as holding on.”
• “The melody of mom’s lullaby was my anchor in stormy nights and sunny days alike.”
• “A chance encounter in a coffee shop served as a reminder of the serendipities life often throws our way.”
• “As leaves crunched underfoot in the forest, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders.”
• “Through the pages of my childhood diary, I journeyed back to dreams forgotten and hopes untarnished.”
• “In the quiet corridors of the museum, art whispered tales of ages gone and worlds unseen.”
• “The mountain’s shadow at dusk taught me that even in darkness, there’s an inherent light waiting to shine.”
• “At the crossroads of choices, I found that destiny is but a collaboration between chance and decision.”
• “Amongst the ruins of ancient cities, I felt the pulse of time and the stories etched in stone.”
• “The carnival’s lights and sounds were a dance of joy, chaos, and the spectrum of human emotions.”
• “In the heart of winter, I learned that endings often herald new beginnings.”
• “The winding path through the meadow was a reminder that life’s journeys are seldom straight.”
• “By the lakeside, with ripples as companions, I understood the profoundness of simple moments.”
• “In the silence of the library, words spoke louder, echoing tales and truths of generations.”
• “The chrysalis’s metamorphosis mirrored my own transformation – from doubt to self-belief.”
• “As sand slipped through my fingers, I grasped the fleeting nature of time.”
• “The orchestra’s crescendo was a celebration of unity, diversity, and the magic of coming together.”
• “Within the walls of my childhood home, memories played in vivid colors and comforting echoes.”
• “The pathway lit by fireflies was an enchanting journey through nature’s wonders.”
• “On the city’s outskirts, the countryside taught me about life’s simple pleasures and unadulterated joys.”
• “The ocean’s horizon was an emblem of endless possibilities and adventures yet to unfold.”
• “Amidst the symphony of raindrops, I found rhythm, solace, and life’s refreshing melodies.”
• “In the tapestry of the bustling bazaar, every thread wove a story of hopes, dreams, and daily triumphs.”
• “Racing against the wind on that hilltop, I felt an exhilarating freedom and the weightlessness of being.”
• “Beneath the canopy of stars, I was a mere speck, yet infinitely connected to the vast universe.”
• “The gentle hum of the countryside at dawn brought lessons of patience and the beauty of the mundane.”
• “As snowflakes adorned the earth, I was reminded of nature’s ability to transform the familiar into wonder.”
• “Locked in a dance with my shadow, I confronted my fears and emerged stronger.”
• “Every stroke of my paintbrush on canvas was a step towards understanding my inner chaos and colors.”
• “The aroma from grandma’s kitchen wasn’t just about food, but a mix of tradition, love, and cherished memories.”
• “Navigating the city’s labyrinthine alleys, I discovered hidden gems and facets of my own adaptability.”
• “With every sunset on the beach, I learned about endings, reflections, and the promise of tomorrow.”
• “Amidst the pages of an old book, I embarked on journeys to realms unknown and feelings unexplored.”
• “The echo in the valley wasn’t mere sound; it was nature’s way of teaching me about resonance and reactions.”
• “In the theater’s dim light, the play unraveled not just a story but facets of human emotions and complexities.”
• “On the rollercoaster, as I soared and plunged, I experienced the highs and lows of life in mere minutes.”
• “Gazing into the campfire’s flames, I saw tales of passion, change, and the cyclical nature of existence.”
• “The footsteps on a snow-clad path were more than impressions; they were my journey’s evolving narrative.”
• “In the ruins of an old castle, I felt the weight of history and the stories that walls can whisper.”
• “The kaleidoscope wasn’t just a toy, but a lesson on perspective and the ever-changing patterns of life.”
• “Aboard the night train, every passing landscape and shadow spoke of transitions and the journey of life.”
• “The empty theater, with its echoing silence, taught me about presence, absence, and the spaces in between.”
• “Gazing at my reflection in the serene lake, I pondered on identity, change, and the depths beneath the surface.”
• “The forgotten trail in the forest was a testament to nature’s resilience and life’s unexpected detours.”
• “On the pottery wheel, molding clay, I understood the balance of control, creativity, and surrender.”
• “Within the confines of a photograph, I found a world of memories, emotions, and frozen moments.”
• “Beneath the city’s neon lights, I discovered a mosaic of dreams, struggles, and undying hopes.
• “Sailing on the tranquil sea, each wave whispered tales of depth, vastness, and the mysteries of the deep.”
• “The aroma of the first rain on parched earth wasn’t just a scent, but a renewal of life’s promises.”
• “Through the corridors of my old school, I journeyed back in time, reliving lessons beyond textbooks.”
• “The meandering river, with its twists and turns, mirrored life’s unpredictability and the beauty of going with the flow.”
• “The intricate dance of fireflies on a summer night showcased nature’s synchronicity and the magic of small wonders.”
• “In the heart of the desert, amidst endless sands, I realized the value of persistence and the oasis of hope.”
• “Each note from the old piano was more than a sound; it was an echo of love, memories, and bygone days.”
• “Scaling the urban walls, the graffiti wasn’t mere paint; it was a voice, a rebellion, and a canvas of urban tales.”
• “The ancient bridge, standing tall against time, was a testament to endurance, connections, and bridging divides.”
• “Beneath the wizened banyan tree, I found tales of time, roots of wisdom, and the shade of legacy.”
• “The labyrinth of mirrors in the carnival wasn’t just a maze but a reflection on perspectives, realities, and self-discovery.”
• “On the cobbled streets of the old town, every stone had a story, an echo of footsteps from a time long gone.”
• “The spectrum of autumn leaves was not just a display of colors but a lesson in change, acceptance, and renewal.”
• “The cocoon, in its silent transformation, taught me about growth, patience, and the wings of change.”
• “In the stillness of the frozen lake, I saw beauty in pauses, depths in calm, and the strength beneath the surface.”
• “The mosaic on the cathedral floor wasn’t just art; it was a confluence of faith, history, and countless footprints.”
• “The whispering winds atop the cliff carried tales of freedom, infinity, and the wild dance of nature.”
• “The diary, with its faded pages, was a portal to youthful dreams, heartaches, and the purity of first experiences.”
• “Amidst the bustling market square, I discerned life’s barter of dreams, efforts, and the currency of human connections.”
• “The silhouette of birds at dusk was a painting of transitions, homeward journeys, and the cyclic rhythm of days.
• “Walking through the quiet library halls, I felt a silent dialogue with countless authors, ideas, and epochs gone by.”
• “The symphony of the city, from honks to hushed whispers, was an orchestra of life’s chaos and harmonies.”
• “Each footprint on the moonlit beach spoke of transient moments, eternal tides, and the dance of time.”
• “The annual rings on the old tree stump bore witness to seasons, storms, and the silent growth of years.”
• “With every strike of the blacksmith’s hammer, metal sang a song of transformation, will, and fiery passion.”
• “The abandoned mansion, with its cobwebbed chandeliers, whispered tales of opulence, time’s decay, and forgotten tales.”
• “The tapestry of constellations in the night sky wasn’t just stars; it was a map of dreams, myths, and cosmic wonder.”
• “Amidst the pages of a handwritten letter, I found not just words, but heartbeats, distance, and undying bonds.”
• “The vintage carousel, with its painted horses, spun tales of childhood, nostalgia, and the cycles of joy.”
• “On the fog-covered moors, every misty silhouette held a mystery, an allure of the unknown, and nature’s veiled beauty.”
• “The keys of the old typewriter were more than letters; they were conduits of emotions, stories, and a bygone era’s charm.”
• “In the quiet of the woods, every rustling leaf and chirping cricket sang a lullaby of nature’s embrace and serenades.”
• “The tapestries in the old hall weren’t just decor; they were woven tales of valor, love, and historical tapestry.”
• “The chessboard, in its monochrome squares, was a battlefield of strategies, patience, and life’s checkmates.”
• “Amid the hustle of the train station, every departure and arrival was a chapter of hellos, goodbyes, and life’s journeys.”
• “The blooming lotus in the muck was not just flora; it epitomized resilience, beauty in adversity, and nature’s wisdom.”
• “The street musician, with his soulful tunes, strummed stories of dreams, hustle, and the universal language of music.”
• “Gazing at the distant mountains, I saw challenges, majesty, and the alluring call of horizons yet explored.”
• “The hourglass, with its fleeting sands, was a silent reminder of time’s passage, moments grasped, and the inevitability of change.”
• “In the rhythm of the heartbeat, I heard life’s cadence, fragility, and the unyielding pulse of existence.
• “The echoing chime of the ancient bell tower wasn’t just a sound; it was a call to remembrance, history, and moments that once were.”
• “The cascade of water in the hidden waterfall narrated tales of nature’s might, hidden gems, and the music of wilderness.”
• “As petals unfurled in the first bloom of spring, I saw life’s rebirth, new beginnings, and the eternal cycle of existence.”
• “Amidst the ruins of a forgotten citadel, I felt the palpable presence of erstwhile grandeur, time’s passage, and stories etched in stone.”
• “The winding pathways of the old garden maze weren’t just hedges; they symbolized life’s puzzles, choices, and the thrill of discovery.

Crafting narrative essay thesis statements is an art of encapsulating vast experiences, emotions, and lessons into a singular, guiding sentence. Each statement becomes the beacon, illuminating the depths of the tale, ensuring that readers are anchored and deeply engaged, from the first word to the last.

Thesis Statement Examples for Personal Narrative Essay

Narrative essays centered around personal experiences often dive deep into emotions, lessons, and realizations. A Good thesis statement acts as a snapshot of the core emotion or takeaway, allowing readers a quick glimpse into the writer’s soulful journey.

• “In my quest for my family roots, I unearthed more than lineage; I discovered stories that defined generations.”
• “Living in four countries in five years taught me resilience, adaptability, and the universal language of kindness.”
• “Adopting Luna wasn’t just about getting a pet; it was a lesson in love, responsibility, and understanding life through feline eyes.”
• “The summer of ’89 wasn’t just a season; it was my initiation into the world of rock music, rebellion, and teenage epiphanies.”
• “Learning to dance was never just about the steps; it was my journey of embracing imperfections and finding rhythm in chaos.”
• “As a caregiver to my grandmother, I realized that roles reverse, and sometimes, love means becoming a parent to your parent.”
• “Backpacking solo taught me more about self-reliance, the beauty of fleeting encounters, and the silent revelations in solitude.”
• “Battling an illness wasn’t just a physical challenge; it was an emotional odyssey of fears, hope, and rediscovering inner strength.”
• “Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro wasn’t just about reaching the summit; it was a metaphorical ascent of confronting my fears and limitations.”
• “Building my first robot was not just an academic project; it was a dance of creativity, failures, and the magic of invention.”

Thesis Statement Examples for Narrative Essay Writing

Narrative essay writing captures moments, stories, or experiences with a wider scope, often resonating with universal truths. The Strong thesis statement must encapsulate the essence, laying down the central theme or emotion the narrative seeks to convey.

• “The city’s heartbeat at midnight is more than nightlife; it’s an orchestra of dreams, hustlers, and silent wishes under the stars.”
• “The forest, with its myriad sounds, isn’t just nature’s realm; it’s a symphony of life, balance, and unspoken tales.”
• “A potter’s wheel doesn’t just shape clay; it’s a dance of hands, earth, and the beautiful journey of creation.”
• “Festivals in a multicultural neighborhood aren’t just about celebrations; they’re a tapestry of traditions, unity in diversity, and the magic of shared joys.”
• “The old bookstore, with its musty pages, wasn’t just a shop; it was a treasure trove of histories, fantasies, and timeless conversations.”
• “Watching a total solar eclipse isn’t just an astronomical event; it’s a humbling spectacle of cosmic alignments, darkness, and ethereal light.”
• “A farmer’s day isn’t just about toil; it’s a testament to patience, harmony with earth, and the silent prayer for bounty.”
• “Ancient monuments aren’t just stone and art; they are timekeepers, storytellers, and guardians of civilizations long gone.”
• “Migratory birds, with their seasonal journeys, don’t just traverse distances; they weave a tale of instinct, survival, and the incredible navigational wonders of nature.”
• “The vibrant hues of a sunset aren’t merely a visual delight; they paint the sky with the day’s adieu, promises of tomorrow, and the cyclical dance of time.

How do you write a thesis for a narrative essay? – Step by Step Guide

• Identify the Central Theme or Message: Before you write your thesis, ask yourself: what is the main point or message I want to convey through my narrative essay?
• Be Precise: A thesis statement should be a concise sentence or two that clearly outlines the main point or message of your essay. Avoid unnecessary words or overly complex sentences.
• Position Appropriately: Although narrative essays are flexible, it’s common to place the thesis statement at the end of the introduction, setting the scene for the narrative to unfold.
• Connect Emotionally: Given that narrative essays often delve into personal experiences, it’s important for your thesis to evoke emotion or a sense of anticipation in the reader.
• Ensure It’s Debatable: Even though it’s a narrative essay, your thesis should still be debatable. This doesn’t mean it should be controversial, but rather it should encourage readers to think or feel a certain way.
• Revise as Needed: As you develop your narrative, you might find your focus shifting slightly. Make sure to adjust your thesis accordingly to ensure it aligns with the content of your essay.
• Seek Feedback: Share your thesis with peers or mentors to get their perspective. Sometimes, an outsider’s view can provide clarity.

Can a narrative essay have a thesis statement?

Absolutely! While narrative essays primarily tell a story or share an experience, a thesis statement offers readers a preview of the essay’s main theme or message. It provides direction and sets the tone for the entire narrative. Even though it’s not argumentative in nature, a thesis in a narrative essay effectively conveys the essay’s purpose or the writer’s reason for telling that particular story. It serves as an anchor, ensuring the narrative remains centered on its core message.

Tips for Writing a Personal Essay Thesis Statement

• Introspect: Before you begin, spend some time introspecting. Understand the main emotion, lesson, or realization you want to convey. This will become the foundation of your thesis.
• Be Authentic: Personal essays are about real experiences and feelings. Ensure your thesis genuinely represents your thoughts and isn’t something you believe readers will want to hear.
• Use Active Voice: Active voice makes your statement sound assertive and clear. This clarity is essential for readers to grasp the main idea immediately.
• Avoid Clichés: While it can be tempting to use commonly accepted phrases or ideas, originality will make your thesis and essay more memorable.
• Stay Relevant: Ensure your thesis is directly relevant to the personal narrative you’re sharing. Every part of your essay should reflect or relate back to the thesis.
• Seek Clarity: A good thesis is not about using highfalutin words. It’s about being clear and precise, ensuring readers instantly understand the essay’s central theme.
• Test Your Thesis: Before finalizing, ask yourself: “If someone reads only my thesis statement, will they understand the crux of my personal essay?” If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Write a Thesis Statement for Narrative Essay on a transformative travel experience.

Create a Thesis Statement for Narrative Essay about overcoming a significant obstacle.

Module 4: Writing in College

Writing a personal essay, learning objectives.

• Describe techniques for writing an effective personal essay

How to Write a Personal Essay

One particular and common kind of narrative essay is the personal narrative essay. Maybe you have already written one of these in order to get to college or for a scholarship. The personal essay is a narrative essay focused on you. Typically, you write about events or people in your life that taught you important life lessons. These events should have changed you somehow. From this choice will emerge the theme (the main point) of your story. Then you can follow these steps:

Figure 1 . Brainstorming the details of a personal experience can help you to write a more complete story with elements like vivid details, dialogue, and sufficient character development.

• Once you identify the event, you will write down what happened. Just brainstorm (also called freewriting). Focus on the actual event. You do not need to provide a complete build-up to it. For example, if you are telling a story about an experience at camp, you do not need to provide readers with a history of your camp experiences, nor do you need to explain how you got there, what you ate each day, how long it lasted, etc. Readers need enough information to understand the event.
• Use descriptions/vivid details.
• “Nothing moved but a pair of squirrels chasing each other back and forth on the telephone wires. I followed one in my sight. Finally, it stopped for a moment and I fired.”
• Passive voice uses the verb “to be” along with an action verb: had been aiming, was exhausted.
• Even though the “characters” in your story are real people, your readers won’t get to know them unless you describe them, present their personalities, and give them physical presence.
• Dialogue helps readers get to know the characters in your story, infuses the story with life, and offers a variation from description and explanation. When writing dialogue, you may not remember exactly what was said in the past, so be true to the person being represented and come as close to the actual language the person uses as possible. Dialogue is indented with each person speaking as its own paragraph. The paragraph ends when that person is done speaking and any following explanation or continuing action ends. (If your characters speak a language other than English, feel free to include that in your narrative, but provide a translation for your English-speaking readers.)
• Remember, if it is a personal narrative, you are telling the story, so it should be in first person. Students often worry about whether or not they are allowed to use “I.” It is impossible to write a personal essay without using “I”!
• Write the story in a consistent verb tense (almost always past tense). It doesn’t work to try to write it in the present tense since it already happened. Make sure you stay in the past tense.

Sample Personal Statement

One type of narrative essay you may have reason to write is a Personal Statement.

Many colleges and universities ask for a Personal Statement Essay for students who are applying for admission, to transfer, or for scholarships. Generally, a Personal Statement asks you to respond to a specific prompt, most often asking you to describe a significant life event, a personality trait, or a goal or principle that motivates or inspires you. Personal Statements are essentially narrative essays with a particular focus on the writer’s personal life.

The following essay was responding to the prompt: “Write about an experience that made you aware of a skill or strength you possess.” As you read, pay attention to the way the writer gets your attention with a strong opening, how he uses vivid details and a chronological narrative to tell his story, and how he links back to the prompt in the conclusion.

Sample Student Essay

Alen Abramyan Professor X English 1101-209 2/5/2022

In the Middle of Nowhere Fighting Adversity

A three-punch combination had me seeing stars. Blood started to rush down my nose. The Russian trainers quietly whispered to one another. I knew right away that my nose was broken. Was this the end of my journey; or was I about to face adversity?

Ever since I was seven years old, I trained myself in, “The Art of Boxing.”  While most of the kids were out playing fun games and hanging out with their friends, I was in a damp, sweat-filled gym. My path was set to be a difficult one. Blood, sweat, and tears were going to be an everyday occurrence.

At a very young age I learned the meaning of hard work and dedication. Most kids jumped from one activity to the next. Some quit because it was too hard; others quit because they were too bored. My father pointed this out to me on many occasions. Adults would ask my father, ” why do you let your son box? It’s such a dangerous sport, he could get hurt. My father always replied, “Everyone is going to get hurt in their lives, physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m making sure he’s ready for the challenges he’s going to face as a man. I always felt strong after hearing my father speak that way about me. I was a boy being shaped into a man, what a great feeling it was.

Year after year, I participated in boxing tournaments across the U.S. As the years went by, the work ethic and strength of character my father and coaches instilled in me, were starting to take shape. I began applying the hard work and dedication I learned in boxing, to my everyday life. I realized that when times were tough and challenges presented themselves, I wouldn’t back down, I would become stronger. This confidence I had in myself, gave me the strength to pursue my boxing career in Russia.

I traveled to Russia to compete in Amateur Boxing. Tournament after tournament I came closer to my goal of making the Russian Olympic Boxing team. After successfully winning the Kaliningrad regional tournament, I began training for the Northwest Championships. This would include boxers from St. Petersburg, Pskov, Kursk and many other powerful boxing cities.

We had to prepare for a tough tournament, and that’s what we did. While sparring one week before the tournament, I was caught by a strong punch combination to the nose. I knew right away it was serious. Blood began rushing down my face, as I noticed the coaches whispering to each other. They walked into my corner and examined my nose,” yeah, it’s broken,” Yuri Ivonovich yelled out. I was asked to clean up and to meet them in their office. I walked into the Boxing Federation office after a quick shower. I knew right away, they wanted to replace me for the upcoming tournament. “We’re investing a lot of money on you boxers and we expect good results. Why should we risk taking you with a broken nose?” Yuri Ivonovich asked me. I replied, “I traveled half-way around the world to be here, this injury isn’t a problem for me.” And by the look on my face they were convinced, they handed me my train ticket and wished me luck.

The train came to a screeching halt, shaking all the passengers awake. I glanced out my window, “Welcome to Cherepovets,” the sign read. In the background I saw a horrific skyline of smokestacks, coughing out thick black smoke. Arriving in the city, we went straight to the weigh ins. Hundreds of boxers, all from many cities were there. The brackets were set up shortly after the weigh ins. In the Super Heavyweight division, I found out I had 4 fights to compete in, each increasing in difficulty. My first match, I made sure not a punch would land; this was true for the next two fights. Winning all three 6-0, 8-0 and 7-0 respectively. It looked like I was close to winning the whole tournament. For the finals I was to fight the National Olympic Hope Champion.

The night before the finals was coincidentally the 200th anniversary of the city. All night by my hotel, I heard screams of laughter and partying. I couldn’t sleep a wink. The morning of the fight I was exhausted but anxious. I stepped into the ring knowing that I was tired. I fell behind in points quickly in the first round. I felt as if I were dreaming, with no control of the situation. I was going along for the ride and it wasn’t pleasant. At the end of the second round, the coach informed me that I was far behind. “?You’re asleep in there,” he yelled out to me, confirming how I felt. I knew this was my last chance; I had to give it my all. I mustered up enough strength to have an amazing round. It was as if I stepped out and a fresh boxer stepped in. I glanced at my coaches and see a look of approval. No matter the outcome, I felt that I had defeated adversity. My opponent’s hand was raised , he won a close decision, 6-5. After I got back to my hotel, I remembered Yuri Ivonovich telling me they expected good results. “How were my results,” I asked myself. In my mind, the results were great, with a broken nose and with no sleep, I came one point shy of defeating the National Olympic Hope Champion.

Even from a very young age, I knew that when my back was against the wall and adversity was knocking on my door, I would never back down. I became a stronger person, a trait my family made sure I would carry into my adult years. No matter what I’m striving for; getting into a University; receiving a scholarship; or applying for a job, I can proudly say to myself, I am Alen Abramyan and adversity is no match for me.

Link to Learning

Sandra Cisneros offers an example of a narrative essay in “Only Daughter”  that captures her sense of her Chicana-Mexican heritage as the only daughter in a family of seven children.

Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?

While many personal essays include a direct statement of the thesis, in some personal essays the thesis may be implied, or suggested, rather than stated outright.

Imagine, for example, that in your personal essay you decide to write about the way someone influenced you. The influential individual could be a relative, a friend or classmate, an employer or a teacher. As you shape your essay, you would not simply assemble a collection of miscellaneous observations about the person; instead, you would be selective and focus on details about this person that show his or her impact upon you.

Let us say that the person who influenced you is a grandparent. You may know a lot about this individual: personality traits, family and marital history, medical history, educational background, work experience, military experience, political and religious beliefs, hobbies, tastes in music, etc. As you shape your essay, you wouldn’t try to catalog all that you know. Instead, you would try to create a dominant impression by including details that guide your reader toward the idea that is central to the essay.

For example, if you developed certain habits and attitudes as you and your grandparent worked together on a project, that experience might provide the focus for the essay. If you chose details consistent with that focus, then you wouldn’t need to state that this was the point of the essay. Your readers would understand that that was the governing idea based on the details you had so carefully chosen.

Whether the thesis is stated outright or implied, then, the personal essay will have a governing idea—an idea that is “in charge” of what you decide to include in the essay in terms of content, vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone. In short, the personal essay may not have a thesis statement, but it  will  have a thesis.

Consider a personal essay in which a student was asked to write about a person she admired, and she wrote about her cousin. She wrote:

• I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face.

The thesis statement provides guidance for both writing and reading the essay. Writer and reader alike are able to see what the subject of the essay is and what is being stated about the subject and how the essay should be organized. No matter how many body paragraphs there are, this thesis implies that the paper will be divided into two sections. One section will group together the paragraphs on this topic: cousin “had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army.” Another section will group together the paragraphs on this second topic: “in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges.”

Are Narratives Persuasive?

In a personal essay, you may not think of your thesis as “arguable” in the same way as a claim in a persuasive essay would be arguable, but in fact, you can think of it as something that should need to be demonstrated—backed up through explanations and illustrations. Usually, the idea that should be demonstrated is that you are a thoughtful, reflective person who has learned from the events and people in your life.

If the thesis does  not   need to be demonstrated, then there may not be much purpose in writing the essay. For, example, a statement that “George W. Bush was the forty-third president” or the statement that “Senior proms are exciting” would not be considered arguable by most people and likely would not spark a reader’s interest to make them want to keep reading.

On the other hand, the thesis statements below would need to be explained and illustrated. In that sense, these personal essay thesis statements are equivalent to claims that are “arguable.”

• The evening was nearly ruined because parents acting as dress-code vigilantes threw several people out of the prom.
• My team spent hours planning the prom and managed to head off a repeat of the after-prom drinking that caused some parents to question whether the prom should be held this year.
• Everyone was able to attend the prom proudly because our prom committee got several stores to loan outfits to make certain everyone would feel like they fit in.
• I opted to attend an alternative prom because the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend.

Keep in mind that the actions or events in your essay do not have to make you look heroic. You could write a convincing and powerful essay about how you attended the school-sponsored prom, even though the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend. Your essay, in this case, might, for example, focus on your regret over your decision and your subsequent understanding of how you think you can best challenge the status quo in the future. In other words, you can write an effective personal essay about a moment of regret.

• Narrative Essay. Provided by : Excelsior OWL. Located at : https://owl.excelsior.edu/rhetorical-styles/narrative-essay/narrative-essay-see-it-across-the-disciplines/ . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Narrative Essays. Authored by : Marianne Botos, Lynn McClelland, Stephanie Polliard, Pamela Osback . Located at : https://pvccenglish.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/eng-101-inside-pages-proof2-no-pro.pdf . Project : Horse of a Different Color: English Composition and Rhetoric . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Sample Narrative Essay. Provided by : Georgia State University. Located at : http://gsuideas.org/SCC/Narration/Sample%20Narrative%20Essay%20Personal%20Statement.html . Project : Writing For Success. License : CC BY: Attribution
• Writing a Narrative Essay. Provided by : Boundless. Located at : https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-writing/chapter/types-of-rhetorical-modes/ . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
• Image of person writing on sticky notes. Authored by : Nappiness. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/photos/brainstorming-business-professional-441010/ . License : Other . License Terms : https://pixabay.com/service/terms/#license
• Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?. Provided by : Radford University. Located at : https://lcubbison.pressbooks.com/chapter/core-101-personal-essay-assignment/ . Project : Radford University Core Handbook. License : Public Domain: No Known Copyright

How to Write a Personal Essay

You may find yourself writing a personal essay for a couple of reasons. For example, high school students may be required to write them as part of their college application while professional writers wonder how to write a good personal essay because of the need to share personal stories with an audience. It is by means of this piece of writing that you can inspire and draw in your audience with information that you have gained from your own unique experience.

What is a personal essay?

A personal essay is a piece of academic writing that students use to communicate about a particular event, experience, or some aspect of their past. It is also used as a vessel to link past and present, for example, to describe a lasting impression left by some personal event in one’s history. The personal essay also often looks toward the future. In it, one might talk about one’s hopes and aspirations, for instance. A lot of reps from college admission boards ask potential candidates to craft a personal essay in order to get more info on students’ personalities, experiences, motivations, outlooks, and how their special circumstances have affected them. Typically, a personal essay comprises three core parts: intro, body, and conclusion. The paper differs from formal essays in tone, length, and purpose. 

Reasons to write a personal essay

Knowing how to start a personal essay, cover the topic, and end it victoriously is a must since the paper can offer a lot of benefits, both personal and academic. Below are some of the key reasons why students may need to craft a personal essay:  

• To stand out in a college application. When applying for a scholarship, college, university, or internship, a well-composed personal essay can help you stand out against the background of other applicants. Whether written with the help of a trusted custom essay writing service or independently, a personal paper is something that can help you prove you’re the right candidate. By using it, you can showcase your unique talents, experiences, qualifications, and even discuss the character traits that are not reflected by your academic achievement. 
• To write a job application. When applying for a part- or full-time job, your employer may ask you to provide a personal essay to get to know more about your career goals. It helps them to see whether you’re the right match for the team and the overall corporate mission.
• To self-reflect. When wondering how to write a personal essay, students are encouraged to reflect on their values, beliefs, and experiences. This process of introspection can help young adults better understand themselves and foster personal growth.  
• To communicate with others. Writing a personal essay is not only about articulating your experiences or ideas on paper. It can be part of your personal correspondence when you have to communicate your thoughts and experiences to an audience.

How to write a personal essay: the prompts

To have a better idea about the personal essay before you rush over to the dissertation writing service for help, check out some of these prompts for inspiration:

• Reflect on an extra-important event or experience in your life that has shaped who you are today. In what way did this event impact your values, beliefs, or outlook on life?
• Describe one of the biggest challenges that you have successfully overcome. It can be a personal, academic, or professional obstacle. 
• Discuss some person in your life who has had a huge influence on you. What kind of life lessons or insights have you gained from this special relationship?
• Recall and reflect on the most memorable journey that you ever had. What life lessons did you learn from it? Did you learn something by exploring a new culture? 

The prompts mentioned above are designed to inspire students who wonder how to write a personal essay and to encourage them to reflect on their unique experiences, relationships, and beliefs, providing them with a starting point in the creative writing process.

Tips to pick an interesting topic for your personal essay

When browsing potential personal essay ideas, go for something that is easy to write about. If thoughts on how to write a personal essay on a particular topic don’t seem to come to you easily, check out some of these quick tips on selecting a topic:

• Reflect on personal experiences. Ponder over events, obstacles, challenges, failures, or successes in your life that have had a great impact on you. Thinking about your past can serve as a solid cornerstone for a winning personal essay.
• Pick a meaningful topic. Focus on the topics that are relevant to you and meaningful. You will see how the process of writing becomes more authentic and engaging when you write about something that touches you deeply.
• Know your audience. Who will be reading? What is it that you want them to learn or understand about you? Pick a topic that will enable you to connect with your target readers and convey all the aspects about yourself that you wish to convey in the best possible manner.  
• Look for feedback. If you wonder how to write a personal essay on a topic that will be engaging for the target audience, discuss it with your friends, family members, teachers, mentors, or members of the online community. 
• Browse themes or values. Make a list of themes and/or values that are important for you, like empathy, compassion, creativity, resilience, etc. Picking a topic that aligns with your values can help you infuse authenticity and depth into your personal essay.

Personal essay structure

While these kinds of papers tend to vary in style and content, they typically follow a particular personal essay structure used to effectively convey your message and engage the reader. Below, we offer some tips on how to structure a personal essay successfully:

Traditional personal essay structure

Introduction

Objective: the introductory paragraph serves to hook your reader’s attention and provide some context for the whole paper.

Hint: start with an attention-grabbing hook like a quote, stats, anecdote, etc. Give a brief overview of the theme and end your intro with a clear and powerful thesis statement. Keep in mind that a thesis statement is not a compulsory part of a personal essay.

Background or exposition

Objective: give all important background info or context to help your audience understand why exactly your experience is important.

Hint: share relevant details about yourself like your beliefs, background, or interests. Set a solid stage for the moments/events you’ll reflect on in the next segment.

Body paragraphs

Objective: the heart of the essay, that is, the body, must be logically organized with each paragraph focused on a specific aspect of your experience. Include concrete examples, personal insights, descriptions, and dialogues (if needed) to bring your story to life.

Hint: use transitions to connect ideas between different paragraphs and be honest when sharing your thoughts.  

Reflection and analysis

Objective: reflect on the importance of your experiences and their (possible) broader implications. Think about how exactly your experience shaped you as a person and your values. Focus on the lessons that you have learned and changes that may be the results of the experience that you discuss.

Hint: provide critical self-reflection and do not hesitate to check out alternative (opposing) viewpoints.

Objective: use your conclusion to sum up the key points and provide a sense of closure.

Hint: end with a memorable statement that will leave an impression. Do not include new facts or arguments in the final part. Instead, leave the readers with a thought-provoking takeaway based on the essay’s central message.

Tips on how to structure a personal essay and write it properly

The process of writing a personal essay is not in itself tough if you make sure to follow the plan offered below:

1. Pick an intriguing topic. Go for the topic that is meaningful to you and offers some space for self-reflection and introspection. It can be a life-changing event, personal experience, or one of your unique character traits.

2. Create an engaging intro. Avoid exaggeration but begin with an opening paragraph to hook your reader’s attention. This is also where you establish the tone for your essay.

3. Organize your ideas. structure your personal essay with a clear intro, a body, and a conclusion. Make sure your ideas are organized logically and use transitions to link different parts of your narrative.

4. Give vivid descriptions. Since you’re working on a personal paper, don’t forget to use descriptive language and sensory details to create a vivid picture in your reader’s mind.

5. Start with an intro. Provide a hook, a thesis statement, and attempt to establish an emotional connection with your target audience. Give them something special to expect.

6. Write the body of the essay. Use your body paragraphs to build your unique story and lead your target readers to the main points of the essay. Employ all the sensory details surrounding the relevant events and people in your story to help propel them forward.

7.  Conclude. Sum up what you want your readers to learn about your unique life experiences and let your readers know what your special message is to them. It is highly recommended to end your personal essay on a hopeful and positive note.

How to Write a Personal Essay: Final Recommendations

• Stay focused. You know the central message or theme of your essay so stick with it. Avoid unrelated jokes or inappropriate jargon that may confuse your readers.
• Edit and revise. Don’t skip this part. Put your work aside for a while when it’s done, and let your brain reload. Get back to it with a fresh pair of eyes to scan it for grammar, punctuation, and other errors.
• Seek feedback. Approach a trusted family member or friend with the message, “I need to write my coursework , could you please take a look?” Fresh perspectives will definitely help you identify areas for improvement and make your prose stronger.
• Be open to revision. Even if you have to do it multiple times, it’s OK. After all, writing is a process. It’s an art. And each revision gets you closer to perfection.

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Essays That Worked

The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.

Read essays that worked from Transfer applicants .

Hear from the class of 2027.

These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

Ordering the Disorderly

Ellie’s essay skillfully uses the topic of entropy as an extended metaphor. Through it, we see reflections about who they are and who they aspire to be.

Pack Light, But Be Prepared

In Pablo’s essay, the act of packing for a pilgrimage becomes a metaphor for the way humans accumulate experiences in their life’s journey and what we can learn from them. As we join Pablo through the diverse phases of their life, we gain insights into their character and values.

Tikkun Olam

Julieta illustrates how the concept of Tikkun Olam, “a desire to help repair the world,” has shaped their passions and drives them to pursue experiences at Hopkins.

Kashvi’s essay encapsulates a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and the invaluable teachings of Rock, their 10-year-old dog. Through the lens of their companionship, Kashvi walked us through valuable lessons on responsibility, friendship, patience, and unconditional love.

Classical Reflections in Herstory

Maddie’s essay details their intellectual journey using their love of Greek classics. They incorporate details that reveal the roots of their academic interests: storytelling, literary devices, and translation. As their essay progresses, so do Maddie’s intellectual curiosities.

My Spotify Playlist

Alyssa’s essay reflects on special memories through the creative lens of Spotify playlists. They use three examples to highlight their experiences with their tennis team, finding a virtual community during the pandemic, and co-founding a nonprofit to help younger students learn about STEM.

More essays that worked

We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.

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Our interactive workshops—on topics like the college search process and essay preparation—will help you build your strongest application when you’re ready to apply.

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• You will have 8 questions to choose from. You must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
• Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

• All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.  
• Use the additional comments field if there are issues you'd like to address that you didn't have the opportunity to discuss elsewhere on the application. This shouldn't be an essay, but rather a place to note unusual circumstances or anything that might be unclear in other parts of the application. You may use the additional comments field to note extraordinary circumstances related to COVID-19, if necessary. 

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider:  If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

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The Big List of Essay Topics for High School (120+ Ideas!)

Ideas to inspire every young writer!

High school students generally do a lot of writing, learning to use language clearly, concisely, and persuasively. When it’s time to choose an essay topic, though, it’s easy to come up blank. If that’s the case, check out this huge round-up of essay topics for high school. You’ll find choices for every subject and writing style.

• Argumentative Essay Topics
• Cause-and-Effect Essay Topics
• Compare-Contrast Essay Topics
• Descriptive Essay Topics
• Expository and Informative Essay Topics
• Humorous Essay Topics

Literary Essay Topics

• Narrative and Personal Essay Topics
• Personal Essay Topics
• Persuasive Essay Topics

Research Essay Topics

Argumentative essay topics for high school.

When writing an argumentative essay, remember to do the research and lay out the facts clearly. Your goal is not necessarily to persuade someone to agree with you, but to encourage your reader to accept your point of view as valid. Here are some possible argumentative topics to try. ( Here are 100 more compelling argumentative essay topics. )

• The most important challenge our country is currently facing is … (e.g., immigration, gun control, economy)
• The government should provide free internet access for every citizen.
• All drugs should be legalized, regulated, and taxed.
• Vaping is less harmful than smoking tobacco.
• The best country in the world is …
• Parents should be punished for their minor children’s crimes.
• Should all students have the ability to attend college for free?
• Should physical education be part of the standard high school curriculum?

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• Schools should require recommended vaccines for all students, with very limited exceptions.
• Is it acceptable to use animals for experiments and research?
• Does social media do more harm than good?
• Capital punishment does/does not deter crime.
• What one class should all high schools students be required to take and pass in order to graduate?
• Do we really learn anything from history, or does it just repeat itself over and over?
• Are men and women treated equally?

Cause-and-Effect Essay Topics for High School

A cause-and-effect essay is a type of argumentative essay. Your goal is to show how one specific thing directly influences another specific thing. You’ll likely need to do some research to make your point. Here are some ideas for cause-and-effect essays. ( Get a big list of 100 cause-and-effect essay topics here. )

• Humans are causing accelerated climate change.
• Fast-food restaurants have made human health worse over the decades.
• What caused World War II? (Choose any conflict for this one.)
• Describe the effects social media has on young adults.

• How does playing sports affect people?
• What are the effects of loving to read?
• Being an only/oldest/youngest/middle child makes you …
• What effect does violence in movies or video games have on kids?
• Traveling to new places opens people’s minds to new ideas.
• Racism is caused by …

Compare-Contrast Essay Topics for High School

As the name indicates, in compare-and-contrast essays, writers show the similarities and differences between two things. They combine descriptive writing with analysis, making connections and showing dissimilarities. The following ideas work well for compare-contrast essays. ( Find 80+ compare-contrast essay topics for all ages here. )

• Public and private schools
• Capitalism vs. communism
• Monarchy or democracy
• Dogs vs. cats as pets

• Paper books or e-books
• Two political candidates in a current race
• Going to college vs. starting work full-time
• Working your way through college as you go or taking out student loans
• iPhone or Android
• Instagram vs. Twitter (or choose any other two social media platforms)

Descriptive Essay Topics for High School

Bring on the adjectives! Descriptive writing is all about creating a rich picture for the reader. Take readers on a journey to far-off places, help them understand an experience, or introduce them to a new person. Remember: Show, don’t tell. These topics make excellent descriptive essays.

• Who is the funniest person you know?
• What is your happiest memory?
• Tell about the most inspirational person in your life.
• Write about your favorite place.
• When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do?
• Choose a piece of art or music and explain how it makes you feel.
• What is your earliest memory?

• What’s the best/worst vacation you’ve ever taken?
• Describe your favorite pet.
• What is the most important item in the world to you?
• Give a tour of your bedroom (or another favorite room in your home).
• Describe yourself to someone who has never met you.
• Lay out your perfect day from start to finish.
• Explain what it’s like to move to a new town or start a new school.
• Tell what it would be like to live on the moon.

Expository and Informative Essay Topics for High School

Expository essays set out clear explanations of a particular topic. You might be defining a word or phrase or explaining how something works. Expository or informative essays are based on facts, and while you might explore different points of view, you won’t necessarily say which one is “better” or “right.” Remember: Expository essays educate the reader. Here are some expository and informative essay topics to explore. ( See 70+ expository and informative essay topics here. )

• What makes a good leader?
• Explain why a given school subject (math, history, science, etc.) is important for students to learn.
• What is the “glass ceiling” and how does it affect society?
• Describe how the internet changed the world.
• What does it mean to be a good teacher?

• Explain how we could colonize the moon or another planet.
• Discuss why mental health is just as important as physical health.
• Describe a healthy lifestyle for a teenager.
• Choose an American president and explain how their time in office affected the country.
• What does “financial responsibility” mean?

Humorous Essay Topics for High School

Humorous essays can take on any form, like narrative, persuasive, or expository. You might employ sarcasm or satire, or simply tell a story about a funny person or event. Even though these essay topics are lighthearted, they still take some skill to tackle well. Give these ideas a try.

• What would happen if cats (or any other animal) ruled the world?
• What do newborn babies wish their parents knew?
• Explain the best ways to be annoying on social media.
• Invent a wacky new sport, explain the rules, and describe a game or match.

• Imagine a discussion between two historic figures from very different times, like Cleopatra and Queen Elizabeth I.
• Retell a familiar story in tweets or other social media posts.
• Describe present-day Earth from an alien’s point of view.
• Choose a fictional character and explain why they should be the next president.
• Describe a day when kids are in charge of everything, at school and at home.

Literary essays analyze a piece of writing, like a book or a play. In high school, students usually write literary essays about the works they study in class. These literary essay topic ideas focus on books students often read in high school, but many of them can be tweaked to fit other works as well.

• Discuss the portrayal of women in Shakespeare’s Othello .
• Explore the symbolism used in The Scarlet Letter .
• Explain the importance of dreams in Of Mice and Men .
• Compare and contrast the romantic relationships in Pride and Prejudice .

• Dissect the allegory of Animal Farm and its relation to contemporary events.
• Interpret the author’s take on society and class structure in The Great Gatsby .
• Explore the relationship between Hamlet and Ophelia.
• Discuss whether Shakespeare’s portrayal of young love in Romeo and Juliet is accurate.
• Explain the imagery used in Beowulf .

Narrative and Personal Essay Topics for High School

Think of a narrative essay like telling a story. Use some of the same techniques that you would for a descriptive essay, but be sure you have a beginning, middle, and end. A narrative essay doesn’t necessarily need to be personal, but they often are. Take inspiration from these narrative and personal essay topics.

• Describe a performance or sporting event you took part in.
• Explain the process of cooking and eating your favorite meal.
• Write about meeting your best friend for the first time and how your relationship developed.
• Tell about learning to ride a bike or drive a car.
• Describe a time in your life when you’ve been scared.

• Share the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you.
• Tell about a time when you overcame a big challenge.
• Tell the story of how you learned an important life lesson.
• Describe a time when you or someone you know experienced prejudice or oppression.
• Explain a family tradition, how it developed, and its importance today.
• What is your favorite holiday? How does your family celebrate it?
• Retell a familiar story from the point of view of a different character.
• Describe a time when you had to make a difficult decision.
• Tell about your proudest moment.

Persuasive Essay Topics for High School

Persuasive essays are similar to argumentative , but they rely less on facts and more on emotion to sway the reader. It’s important to know your audience, so you can anticipate any counterarguments they might make and try to overcome them. Try these topics to persuade someone to come around to your point of view. ( Discover 60 more intriguing persuasive essay topics here. )

• Do you think homework should be required, optional, or not given at all?
• Everyone should be vegetarian or vegan.
• What animal makes the best pet?
• Visit an animal shelter, choose an animal that needs a home, and write an essay persuading someone to adopt that animal.
• Who is the world’s best athlete, present or past?
• Should little kids be allowed to play competitive sports?
• Are professional athletes/musicians/actors overpaid?
• The best music genre is …

• Is democracy the best form of government?
• Is capitalism the best form of economy?
• Students should/should not be able to use their phones during the school day.
• Should schools have dress codes?
• If I could change one school rule, it would be …
• Is year-round school a good idea?

A research essay is a classic high school assignment. These papers require deep research into primary source documents, with lots of supporting facts and evidence that’s properly cited. Research essays can be in any of the styles shown above. Here are some possible topics, across a variety of subjects.

• Which country’s style of government is best for the people who live there?
• Choose a country and analyze its development from founding to present day.
• Describe the causes and effects of a specific war.
• Formulate an ideal economic plan for our country.
• What scientific discovery has had the biggest impact on life today?

• Analyze the way mental health is viewed and treated in this country.
• Explore the ways systemic racism impacts people in all walks of life.
• Defend the importance of teaching music and the arts in public schools.
• Choose one animal from the endangered species list, and propose a realistic plan to protect it.

What are some of your favorite essay topics for high school? Come share your prompts on the WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook .

Plus, check out the ultimate guide to student writing contests .

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Personal Essay Topics

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• Writing Essays
• Writing Research Papers
• English Grammar
• M.Ed., Education Administration, University of Georgia
• B.A., History, Armstrong State University

A personal essay is an essay about your life, thoughts, or experiences. This type of essay will give readers a glimpse into your most intimate life experiences and life lessons. There are many reasons you may need to write a personal essay , from a simple class assignment to a college application requirement . You can use the list below for inspiration. Consider each statement a starting point, and write about a memorable moment that the prompt brings to mind.

• Your bravest moment
• How you met your best friend
• What makes your mom or dad special
• How you overcame a fear
• Why you will succeed
• Why you made a difficult choice
• A special place
• A place you try to avoid
• When a friend let you down
• An event that changed your life
• A special encounter with an animal
• A time when you felt out of place
• An odd experience that didn't make sense at the time
• Words of wisdom that hit home and changed your way of thinking
• A person that you do not like
• A time when you disappointed someone
• Your fondest memory
• A time when you saw your parent cry
• The moment when you knew you were grown up
• Your earliest memory of holiday celebrations in your home
• Times when you should have made a better choice
• A time when you dodged a dangerous situation
• A person you will think about at the end of your life
• Your favorite time period
• A failure you've experienced
• A disappointment you've experienced
• A surprising turn of events
• What you would do with power
• What superpower you would choose
• If you could switch lives with someone
• How money matters in your life
• Your biggest loss
• A time when you felt you did the wrong thing
• A proud moment when you did the right thing
• An experience that you've never shared with another person
• A special place that you shared with a childhood friend
• A first encounter with a stranger
• Your first handshake
• Where you go to hide
• If you had a do-over
• A book that changed your life
• Words that stung
• When you had the desire to run
• When you had the urge to crawl into a hole
• Words that prompted hope
• When a child taught you a lesson
• Your proudest moment
• If your dog could talk
• Your favorite time with family
• If you could live in another country
• If you could invent something
• The world a hundred years from now
• If you had lived a hundred years earlier
• The animal you'd like to be
• One thing you'd change at your school
• The greatest movie moment
• The type of teacher you would be
• If you could be a building
• A statue you'd like to see
• If you could live anywhere
• The greatest discovery
• If you could change one thing about yourself
• An animal that could be in charge
• Something you can do that robots could never do
• Your most unfortunate day
• Your secret talent
• Your secret love
• The most beautiful thing you've ever seen
• The ugliest thing you've seen
• Something you've witnessed
• An accident that changed everything
• A wrong choice
• A right choice
• If you were a food
• How you'd spend a million dollars
• If you could start a charity
• The meaning of color
• A close call
• Your favorite gift
• A chore you'd do away with
• A secret place
• Something you can't resist
• A hard lesson
• A visitor you'll never forget
• An unexplained event
• Your longest minute
• An awkward social moment
• An experience with death
• Why you'll never tell a lie
• If your mom knew, she'd kill you
• A kiss that meant a lot
• When you needed a hug
• The hardest news you've had to deliver
• A special morning
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Introducing Microsoft 365 Copilot – your copilot for work

Mar 16, 2023 | Jared Spataro - CVP, AI at Work

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Humans are hard-wired to dream, to create, to innovate. Each of us seeks to do work that gives us purpose — to write a great novel, to make a discovery, to build strong communities, to care for the sick. The urge to connect to the core of our work lives in all of us. But today, we spend too much time consumed by the drudgery of work on tasks that zap our time, creativity and energy. To reconnect to the soul of our work, we don’t just need a better way of doing the same things. We need a whole new way to work.

Today, we are bringing the power of next-generation AI to work. Introducing Microsoft 365 Copilot — your copilot for work . It combines the power of large language models (LLMs) with your data in the Microsoft Graph and the Microsoft 365 apps to turn your words into the most powerful productivity tool on the planet.

“Today marks the next major step in the evolution of how we interact with computing, which will fundamentally change the way we work and unlock a new wave of productivity growth,” said Satya Nadella, Chairman and CEO, Microsoft. “With our new copilot for work, we’re giving people more agency and making technology more accessible through the most universal interface — natural language.”

Copilot is integrated into Microsoft 365 in two ways. It works alongside you, embedded in the Microsoft 365 apps you use every day — Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, Teams and more — to unleash creativity, unlock productivity and uplevel skills. Today we’re also announcing an entirely new experience: Business Chat . Business Chat works across the LLM, the Microsoft 365 apps, and your data — your calendar, emails, chats, documents, meetings and contacts — to do things you’ve never been able to do before. You can give it natural language prompts like “Tell my team how we updated the product strategy,” and it will generate a status update based on the morning’s meetings, emails and chat threads.

With Copilot, you’re always in control. You decide what to keep, modify or discard. Now, you can be more creative in Word, more analytical in Excel, more expressive in PowerPoint, more productive in Outlook and more collaborative in Teams.

Microsoft 365 Copilot transforms work in three ways:

Unleash creativity. With Copilot in Word, you can jump-start the creative process so you never start with a blank slate again. Copilot gives you a first draft to edit and iterate on — saving hours in writing, sourcing, and editing time. Sometimes Copilot will be right, other times usefully wrong — but it will always put you further ahead. You’re always in control as the author, driving your unique ideas forward, prompting Copilot to shorten, rewrite or give feedback. Copilot in PowerPoint helps you create beautiful presentations with a simple prompt, adding relevant content from a document you made last week or last year. And with Copilot in Excel, you can analyze trends and create professional-looking data visualizations in seconds.

Unlock productivity. We all want to focus on the 20% of our work that really matters, but 80% of our time is consumed with busywork that bogs us down. Copilot lightens the load. From summarizing long email threads to quickly drafting suggested replies, Copilot in Outlook helps you clear your inbox in minutes, not hours. And every meeting is a productive meeting with Copilot in Teams. It can summarize key discussion points — including who said what and where people are aligned and where they disagree — and suggest action items, all in real time during a meeting. And with Copilot in Power Platform, anyone can automate repetitive tasks, create chatbots and go from idea to working app in minutes.

GitHub data shows that Copilot promises to unlock productivity for everyone. Among developers who use GitHub Copilot, 88% say they are more productive, 74% say that they can focus on more satisfying work, and 77% say it helps them spend less time searching for information or examples.

But Copilot doesn’t just supercharge individual productivity. It creates a new knowledge model for every organization — harnessing the massive reservoir of data and insights that lies largely inaccessible and untapped today. Business Chat works across all your business data and apps to surface the information and insights you need from a sea of data — so knowledge flows freely across the organization, saving you valuable time searching for answers. You will be able to access Business Chat from Microsoft 365.com, from Bing when you’re signed in with your work account, or from Teams.

Uplevel skills. Copilot makes you better at what you’re good at and lets you quickly master what you’ve yet to learn. The average person uses only a handful of commands — such as “animate a slide” or “insert a table” — from the thousands available across Microsoft 365. Now, all that rich functionality is unlocked using just natural language. And this is only the beginning.

Copilot will fundamentally change how people work with AI and how AI works with people. As with any new pattern of work, there’s a learning curve — but those who embrace this new way of working will quickly gain an edge.

The Copilot System: Enterprise-ready AI

Microsoft is uniquely positioned to deliver enterprise-ready AI with the Copilot System . Copilot is more than OpenAI’s ChatGPT embedded into Microsoft 365. It’s a sophisticated processing and orchestration engine working behind the scenes to combine the power of LLMs, including GPT-4, with the Microsoft 365 apps and your business data in the Microsoft Graph — now accessible to everyone through natural language.

Grounded in your business data. AI-powered LLMs are trained on a large but limited corpus of data. The key to unlocking productivity in business lies in connecting LLMs to your business data — in a secure, compliant, privacy-preserving way. Microsoft 365 Copilot has real-time access to both your content and context in the Microsoft Graph. This means it generates answers anchored in your business content — your documents, emails, calendar, chats, meetings, contacts and other business data — and combines them with your working context — the meeting you’re in now, the email exchanges you’ve had on a topic, the chat conversations you had last week — to deliver accurate, relevant, contextual responses.

Built on Microsoft’s comprehensive approach to security, compliance and privacy. Copilot is integrated into Microsoft 365 and automatically inherits all your company’s valuable security, compliance, and privacy policies and processes. Two-factor authentication, compliance boundaries, privacy protections, and more make Copilot the AI solution you can trust.

Architected to protect tenant, group and individual data. We know data leakage is a concern for customers. Copilot LLMs are not trained on your tenant data or your prompts. Within your tenant, our time-tested permissioning model ensures that data won’t leak across user groups. And on an individual level, Copilot presents only data you can access using the same technology that we’ve been using for years to secure customer data.

Integrated into the apps millions use every day. Microsoft 365 Copilot is integrated in the productivity apps millions of people use and rely on every day for work and life — Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, Teams and more. An intuitive and consistent user experience ensures it looks, feels and behaves the same way in Teams as it does in Outlook, with a shared design language for prompts, refinements and commands.

Designed to learn new skills.  Microsoft 365 Copilot’s foundational skills are a game changer for productivity: It can already create, summarize, analyze, collaborate and automate using your specific business content and context. But it doesn’t stop there. Copilot knows how to command apps (e.g., “animate this slide”) and work across apps, translating a Word document into a PowerPoint presentation. And Copilot is designed to learn new skills. For example, with Viva Sales, Copilot can learn how to connect to CRM systems of record to pull customer data — like interaction and order histories — into communications. As Copilot learns about new domains and processes, it will be able to perform even more sophisticated tasks and queries.

Committed to building responsibly

At Microsoft, we are guided by our AI principles and Responsible AI Standard and decades of research on AI, grounding and privacy-preserving machine learning. A multidisciplinary team of researchers, engineers and policy experts reviews our AI systems for potential harms and mitigations — refining training data, filtering to limit harmful content, query- and result-blocking sensitive topics, and applying Microsoft technologies like InterpretML and Fairlearn to help detect and correct data bias. We make it clear how the system makes decisions by noting limitations, linking to sources, and prompting users to review, fact-check and adjust content based on subject-matter expertise.

Moving boldly as we learn  

In the months ahead, we’re bringing Copilot to all our productivity apps—Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, Teams, Viva, Power Platform, and more. We’ll share more on pricing and licensing soon. Earlier this month we announced Dynamics 365 Copilot as the world’s first AI Copilot in both CRM and ERP to bring the next-generation AI to every line of business.

Everyone deserves to find purpose and meaning in their work — and Microsoft 365 Copilot can help. To serve the unmet needs of our customers, we must move quickly and responsibly, learning as we go. We’re testing Copilot with a small group of customers to get feedback and improve our models as we scale, and we will expand to more soon.

Learn more on the Microsoft 365 blog and visit WorkLab to get expert insights on how AI will create a brighter future of work for everyone.

And for all the blogs, videos and assets related to today’s announcements, please visit our microsite .

Tags: AI , Microsoft 365 , Microsoft 365 Copilot

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