uc davis essays

UC Davis Graduate Studies

Admissions essays.

UC Davis requires that applicants to all graduate programs submit both a Statement of Purpose and a Personal History and Diversity Statement. Each essay can be no longer than 4,000 characters (including spaces). To allow prospective applicants the opportunity to prepare these essays before starting the application, the prompts for each essay are listed below.

Statement of Purpose

Please highlight your academic preparation and motivation; interests, specializations and career goals; and fit for pursuing graduate study at UC Davis.

• preparation and motivation may include your academic and research experiences that prepare you for this graduate program (for example: coursework, employment, exhibitions, fieldwork, foreign language proficiency, independent study, internships, laboratory activities, presentations, publications, studio projects, teaching, and travel or study abroad) and motivation or passion for graduate study.
• interests, specializations, and career goals may include your research interests, disciplinary subfields, area/s of specialization, and professional objectives.
• fit may include how your preparation, experiences, and interests match the specific resources and characteristics of your graduate program at UC Davis. Please identify specific faculty within your desired graduate program with whom you would like to work and how their interests match your own.

Personal History and Diversity Statement

The University of California Davis, a public institution, is committed to supporting the diversity of the graduate student body and promoting equal opportunity in higher education. This commitment furthers the educational mission to serve the increasingly diverse population and educational needs of California and the nation. Both the Vice Provost of Graduate Education/Dean of Graduate Studies and the University of California affirm that diversity is critical to promoting lively intellectual exchange and the variety of ideas and perspectives essential to advancing higher education and research. Our graduate students contribute to the global pool of future scholars and academic leaders, thus high value is placed on achieving a diverse graduate student body to support the University of California’s academic excellence. We invite you to include in this statement how you may contribute to the diversification of graduate education and the UC Davis community.

The purpose of this essay is to get to know you as an individual and potential graduate student. Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual, or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education. This essay should complement but not duplicate the content in the Statement of Purpose.

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University of California, Davis | UC Davis’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Select-a-prompt short responses.

Please respond to any 4 of the 8 questions below.We realize that not all questions apply to all applicants, so be sure to select the 4 questions that you believe give us the best information about you.All 8 questions are given equal consideration in the application review process. Responses to each question should be between 250-350 words.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

Academic Assistance and Tutoring Centers

Writing Specialist appointments and the Submit Writing for Feedback service will be available during summer session, June 24th through September 13th.

AATC Writing Support

Why do students choose to use writing support at the aatc.

• We help build better writers, not just better papers
• We view writing and reading as a process that we’re here to help with
• We help students build their academic confidence and competence
• We have a friendly atmosphere where students can discuss their writing

Looking for writing and reading help?

• New appointments open daily, and the calendar posts more appointments for the next two days each evening, but if you are having trouble with the system, please contact our front desk team. We are most heavily impacted during midterms and finals and appreciate your patience. 

Looking for additional support as an undergraduate student, graduate student, or faculty member?

The University Writing Center in TLC provides consultations for the UC Davis community. Read more on their website for how to book an appointment.

AATC Writing Support Services

Writing Support in the AATC offers a variety of appointments to help you succeed with your writing and reading. Click on the buttons below to read our guides and access our calendars. Individual in-person appointments can be scheduled through OASIS and will take place in the lower level of Shields Library or Zoom. Individual remote appointments can be scheduled through OASIS with tutors and specialists beginning on the first day of instruction. Please check out our guides for how to select an in-person or remote appointment.

Writing Workshop Schedule (click to expand)

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due and Avoiding Plagiarism

For more information and to sign up, please visit the UC Davis Library's Workshops, Tours and Orientations page

• May 8, 2024 at 3:10pm-4:30pm in Shields Library Instruction Lab room 165

Services for Faculty and Staff (click to expand)

If you would like a Writing Specialist to visit your class or partner with your program, we can give a 15-20 minute presentation on services or a design a customized workshop with you. To get started, please complete our  interest form . 

We also have a video of our presentation on our services that you're welcome to show your class.

If you would like to assign a PlayPosit module on avoiding plagiarism, please consider adding these videos AATC made with the UCD Shields Library.

Please contact Kevin Sitz ( [email protected] ) for more information.

Campus Writing Support Resources (click to expand)

The Writing Support Services in the AATC is not the only UC Davis department that offers writing support. These departments offer one-on-one consultations, online resources, workshops, and more to help support your writing beyond coursework.

The Internship and Career Center can help you with applying for jobs and internships. 

Health Professions Advising can help you prepare your materials when applying for graduate school in the medical professions.

Pre-Grad and Law Advising can help you prepare your materials when applying for graduate and law school.

The Office of Research Grant Writing can help you with writing research grants and provides many resources.

The Entry Level Writing Online Resource Page offers many online resources related to improving your writing abilities.

The Writing Center offers appointments and writing support for all undergraduate students, graduate students, and faculty.

Academic Department Listings of Tutors for Hire

Some Academic Departments on campus maintain lists of tutors that students can hire. AATC has no affiliation with these listings and does not endorse or vet these tutors. Please carefully consider the following before contacting a private tutor

• Read any disclaimers on the department listing
• Agree on a price in writing
• Talk about what success will look like for you
• Ask how the tutor is qualified
• For safety, meet the tutor in a public place

Ready to look for a private tutor to hire? Listings for the Department of:  Chemistry ;  Mathematics ;  Physics ;  Statistics

Become a Tutor

If you are interested in helping others be as successful as you are, consider applying for a tutoring position. The rewards are great for both you and the students! Please click  here  for more information and to fill out our online application form.

Other Campus Resources for Students

Not sure where on campus to go for something? Student Affairs has a great Where to Get Help guide.

Looking for help overall with your classes not just a specific subject? The Office of Educational Opportunity and Enrichment Services (OEOES) offers Success Coaching and Learning Strategies support services.

NEW! The College of Biological Sciences has made funding available to assist Domestic PhD applicants with their application fees. Please click here for more details!

Your application.

The deadline for the application is December 1. The online application form is found at Graduate Studies . 

Materials needed:

• Application (online), including (i) Statement of Purpose, (ii) Personal History Statement, (iii) Essay describing Research or Professional Interests
• University/college/community college transcripts
• Three letters of recommendation
• Optional: Fellowship application (included in online application)
• As of 2020, the IGG Graduate Group no longer requires GRE scores for admissions
• Official TOEFL or IELTS for international students

Incomplete applications may not be reviewed, so be sure to include all of the required materials!

Tips for completing your IGG application

Letters of recommendation

Seek these out early. Give your letter writer at least 6 week’s notice (no later than mid-October) and follow up 3, 2 and 1 week before the deadline. Your letter writer should be familiar with you academically, and should be able to speak to your ability to complete a M.S. or Ph.D. Remember to cultivate a relationship with potential referees early in your career.

Aim to have all of your letters written by scientists willing to write strong letters; failing that, at least 2 of them should be. Ask him/her if they need pointers for the letter i.e. for your professors: dates you interacted, quarter and year of the class you took, and your grade. For your internship advisor you may include the specific dates you worked, duties, and accomplishments. Sending your CV to your referees is also helpful.

Statement of Purpose (SOP) and Personal History & Diversity Statement

Your SOP and Personal history & diversity statement should be seamlessly interconnected to form a continuous narrative. Invest a significant amount of time writing each, developing it through several iterations. Ask your professors for feedback on your writing. Some elements of the SOP may overlap with the Personal history & diversity statement; for example, both may include obstacles to academic progress e.g. illness, working full-time.

Two important pieces of advice: (i) Be honest: do not try to reinvent yourself or inflate the importance of your accomplishments. (ii) Be specific: avoid platitudes and give examples. Show how you have turned a negative into a positive or how it now becomes a driving force to for you to be a scientist. UC Davis students and alumni can have their personal statements reviewed by the Student Academic Success Centre . 

(1) Drafting your Statement of Purpose.   This allows you to tell the Admissions Committee directly, why you should be admitted to the program. It should be concise, informative and well-organized, and present yourself as one competent to successfully complete the graduate program . Here are a few tips:

• Be clear on why you are applying.  Provide a context for your personal motivation i.e. state how you became interested in a particular topic and why you wish to pursue this question. This should be brief but well thought-through.
• Describe your past academic and research experiences.  State succinctly, the importance of the research question, the specific objective of your project, your general approach and the significance of your results.
• Discuss your current research interests.   In order to present a cohesive story (from past to present to future), Briefly mention your current research interest. This doesn’t need to be long since you will describe it in more details in the essay describing “Research or Professional Interests”.  Some students wish to continue in the same research vein, while others, may wish to switch fields, or approaches. You might want to elaborate here if you intend to deviate from past research experiences (it is perfectly ok).
• Map out your potential career plan.  Where do you see yourself as a researcher in the next 5 – 10 years? There should be a logical flow of your past and current experiences and how the expertise you will gain in IGG and UC Davis would permit your continued development.

Give yourself ample time to write your SOP. The Admissions committee can easily spot hurried and poorly thought out writing and this will have a negative effect on your evaluation. Secondly, your statement should be specific to IGG. Generic letters used to apply to multiple institutions and graduate groups where faculty names are simply interchanged can be detected.

(2) Drafting Your Personal History & Diversity statement.  This should provide the Reader with a clear perspective of the circumstances that shaped you, how it is interconnected with your academic pursuits, and how it prepares you for success. It is a chance for self-introspection: what are the specific driving forces or the single transformative event that propelled you to this point, where pursuing graduate studies in the department is the next logical step in your development.

The Personal History & Diversity statement can be used to:

• Fill-in the gaps about inconsistencies in your application, such as low grades.
• Highlight how you were able to persevere and in the face of life challenges and barriers to higher education, e.g. first-generation college student, English as a second language, socioeconomic disadvantages, illness/disability, member of other underrepresented group or faced other barriers).
• Give examples of leadership, service, teaching and tutoring during your academic career.
• List any successes you achieved and what you learned from them.
• List examples of how you can contribute to the diversity of ideas, perspectives, approaches, or study systems in IGG, UC Davis, or the academic community. List examples of how you have contributed to diversity in the past.

(3) Essay describing your “Research or Professional Interest” in the “Plans for Graduate Study” section.  

In the question right before this essay, you were asked to identify multiple areas of research or professional interest (just key words, e.g. Human genetics, Plant population genomics). Use this essay to explain these choices. Focus on your motivation and past experiences in your selection of research/professional interests. What do you see as the scientific and broader significance of these research areas? Finally, identify multiple faculty members you would like to work with including a clear justification for your choices (You will also be asked to list preferences for faculty mentors in the next question). In this segment, the Admissions Committee will be able to assess your depth of understanding of the field.

How are applicants evaluated?

Your application will be evaluated by a committee of faculty and graduate students. Here are a few things that the Admissions Committee consider when assessing your application:

• Your Undergraduate and Graduate GPA . All applicants must meet the University of California minimum GPA requirement (3.0) for admissions. Good grades in upper division courses and subjects related to the graduate program of interest are more important than those in other subjects. Extenuating circumstances that affected your overall GPA can be outlined in your Personal History.
• Research experience . Almost all applicants have laboratory experience prior to applying to graduate school. Working independently on a discrete research question is ideal. You should be knowledgeable about the research you conducted, the hypothesis tested and the rationale for the approach taken. This is better than simply being familiar with lab techniques.
• Recommendations made by your References . Seek individuals who can comment on your research (such as a research supervisor) and academic ability (such as a course professor) for the letter of recommendations. 
• Evidence of publication and presentation of your research data .  This would enhance your application, but will not be decisive factor in acceptance. If you are currently in the final year of your undergraduate degree look for all opportunities to present and publish your work.
• Your academic and professional goals . This can sometimes indicate if you have the ‘right’ motivation for graduate school, are realistic in what can be accomplished, and if this graduate group is the right fit for you.
• Your ability to write and articulate your ideas . Your statement of purpose and personal history statement may convey this, but comments from your recommender may also be helpful.

Please note: this is not a checklist that determines acceptance. The factors controlling admissibility are complex and do not follow a strict formula. IGG is committed to holistic review. Good academic grades and solid research experience are important, as they may indicate your scholastic aptitude and potential for scientific research, but the Admissions Committee will consider all the parts of your application in making a decision.

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusions

IGG graduate group values Diversity, Equity, and Inclusions, and recognizes that physical and mental wellness is essential for being a productive scientist. We welcome applications from academically strong individuals from diverse groups, including but not limited to first generation college students, historically underrepresented groups, individuals belonging to socially or economically disadvantaged groups, individuals belonging to diverse gender, race and ethnicity, religion, age, country of origin, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, and special health needs. Students trained through NIH PREP, McNair’s, BUSP, UC LEADS, UC-HBCU Initiatives or similar programs at your undergraduate institute are especially welcomed.

The IGG Graduate Group endorses the  University of California Davis’ Diversity Statement .

• McNair’s Scholarship Program
• B iology  U ndergraduate  S cholars  P rogram (BUSP)
• UC  L eadership  E xcellence Through  A dvanced  D egree S  (UC LEADS) Scholar Program
• UC-HBCU Initiative

Frequently Asked Questions

My GPA is good but not great, should I still apply?

Yes. The minimum GPA is 3.0, but there are exceptions. Applications are reviewed holistically. Your GPA, research experience, academic preparation and training, letters of recommendation, statement of purpose and personal history are all considered in the application. 

Should I email professors that I am interested in working with?

Yes. This is highly recommended. You can email various professors in which you are interested in working with in their lab. It is perfectly acceptable to email multiple professors.

Do I have to be selected by a major professor for admittance?

No. Within the first year, students do 2-4 laboratory rotations before joining a lab for their thesis work.

Is there financial support in the program?

All accepted students are fully funded by the program for 5 years. The students will not have any out-of-pocket expenses with regard to tuition and fees, and they will receive a monthly stipend to support living expenses. Student support comes in a variety of ways: internal and external fellowships, research and teaching assistantships.

International Student Frequently Asked Questions

What is the minimum scores for the TOEFL/IELTS? 

• 550 on the TOEFL paper-based test (PBT), or
• 80 on the TOEFL internet-based test (iBT)
• IELTS Score: 7.0 points minimum on a 9.0 point scale

How do I know if I need to take the TOEFL or the IELTS?

If your previous degree was not solely taught in English, you will need to take the exam. You can check out what languages your institution taught in here:  http://whed.net/home.php . If your institution shows English and another language you will need to take either of the two exams. If your institution only shows English you do not need to take the exam.

How do I know if my institution is not accredited?

Look at your institutions website and look for their accreditation. Also look at the unaccredited institution list here:  http://www.foreigncredits.com/Resources/Unaccredited-Universities/

How can I calculate my GPA when it is not on a four-point scale?

Please use this online GPA calculator .

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

MBA Application Process

The uc davis mba application.

Applying begins with our secure online application. Once you create an account, you may enter, update, and save your information at any time. Please click "submit" once you are done. Your application must be submitted by 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time on the day of the deadline. We confirm receipt of applications and supplemental materials via email.

Application Fee

A $125 application fee is required to submit an application. Application fee waivers are available for those who attend one of our MBA Admissions events, class visits or consultations. Please visit our calendar for an opportunity to connect.

Transcripts

You may submit unofficial transcripts from all undergraduate and graduate programs you have attended or are currently attending in pursuit of a degree with your application.

Official transcripts are required upon admissions into the program. You may send your official transcripts to our office electronically or through the mail. 

If your institution offers e-transcript services through Parchment, you may release your official transcript directly to our institution. Visit  Transcript and Test Score Codes and Account Names for information. 

If the institution provides official electronic transcripts through another third-party service or directly from the registrar's office, please have your official transcript to:  [email protected] .

If your university does not offer electronic transcript services, please mail your official, sealed transcript to our mailing address.

Please note, all coursework for your bachelors degree needs to be completed by June 30, and final degree conferred prior to the start of the MBA program.

The UC Davis MBA Program requires a minimum 3.0 undergraduate grade point average or its equivalent if not on a 4.0 scale. Applicants can request an exception with their application for admission.

If you have already completed an MBA degree you are not eligible for admission to the UC Davis MBA program.

To review the progression and milestones of your career, we ask that you upload a current resume through the online application. Include work history, military status, education history and honors and awards or recognitions. We prefer chronological resumes no longer than two pages in PDF format. 

GMAT or GRE Score Report

• You may be eligible for a GMAT/GRE waiver for our Full-Time MBA program.  Check your eligibility .
• Testing is optional for our Part-Time MBA programs. Learn more about testing .
• We currently reimburse up to $800 for prep materials for enrolled students.  Learn more about test prep reimbursement .
• We accept scores from the original 10th and 11th edition GMAT exam.

Visit  Transcript and Test Score Codes and Account Names for codes. 

Candidates are asked to complete one personal insight question. If applicable, you will be asked to submit an additional statement addressing GPA less than 3.0, academic discipline/probation/dismissal/suspension, unemployment, or other necessary topics.

We’re looking for honest, thoughtful responses that help us get to know you; there truly is no one “right” answer to our MBA personal insight questions. While you should answer each question thoroughly, you should not exceed the specified lengths.

Letters of Recommendation

We require two professional letters of recommendation and strongly encourage you to submit one from your current direct supervisor. Recommendations are submitted through our online system, and they help provide us with qualitative accounts of your leadership potential and of the impact you’ve made at work.

Spark Hire Screening Interview (Full-Time MBA candidates only)

All Full-Time MBA candidates will receive an invitation for a one-way video interview through our Spark Hire platform. This brief, one-way recorded interview will give us a chance to get to know you better.

Virtual Interview (by invitation only)

After an initial application review, selected candidates will be invited to a virtual Zoom interview. This is a positive indicator of our interest in your application but does not guarantee admission.

English Language Proficiency Requirement (if applicable)

Applicants who received their degrees from institutions in which the official language is not English must submit official evidence of English language proficiency. The UC Davis Graduate School of Management’s requirements may differ from what is listed on the UC Davis Graduate Studies website given the specific needs of the curriculum. Where different policies exist, please adhere to the UC Davis Graduate School of Management’s requirements. 

Visit  Transcript and Test Score Codes and Account Names for information. 

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UC Davis School of Medicine Secondary Essay Prompts

These are the secondary application essay prompts for University of California Davis School of Medicine. To put your best foot forward and maximize your chance of an interview invitation, visit our secondary application editing page .

about University of California Davis School of Medicine

Secondary Deadline:  30 calendar days after receipt of secondary application. Secondary Fee:  $120 FAP Waiver:  Full Fee Waived CASPer Required:  No Screens Applications : Yes Accepts Application Updates : No

To provide excellent learner-centered education to a diverse body of medical students and graduate students; cultivating in them the passion to improve lives and transform the health of the communities they will serve as physicians, scientists and health care leaders.

1. Discuss any elements of your application that you feel might be concerning to the Admissions Committee (This could include explanation of metric trends, institutional actions, legal violations, etc.) Please enter N/A if no concerns to report. (500 characters; spaces count as a character)

2. Do you have a connection to Northern or Central California? If “yes”, please explain (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Activities Please list the activities you would like to be considered in your application to UC Davis. You may use your activities listed in your initial AMCAS application or select/add others that may be relevant to UC Davis. Please only list three. a. Briefly describe this activity and its significance. How did it prepare you for a medical career? Include any supporting information (e.g. your contribution to the project or accomplishment as well as links to any publication, etc) (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Scholarly Pathways Are you interested in applying to the Rural-PRIME (Rural Program in Medical Education) Program? If “Yes” : a. Please describe how your experiences with rural communities make you a good fit for the Rural-PRIME program (500 characters; spaces count as a character). b. Describe your future plans to serve a rural underserved community (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Are you interested in applying to the TEACH-MS (Transforming Education and Community Health for Medical Students) Program? If “Yes”: Please tell us what experiences have shaped your desire to be a primary care physician in urban underserved communities (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Are you interested in applying to the ACE-PC (Accelerated Competency-based Education in Primary Care) Program? If “Yes”: Please tell us what attributes or experiences would make you a good fit for an accelerated program in primary care (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Are you interested in applying to the REACH (Reimagining Education to Advance central California Health) Program in Medical Education? If “Yes”: Please tell us about your ties to Central California and what you have done, or plan to do, to make a positive change in Central California (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

Are you interested in applying to ARC-MD (Academic Research Careers for Medical Doctors)? If “Yes”: The UC Davis School of Medicine has an honors pathway, Academic Research Careers for Medical Doctors (ARC-MD), to encourage the development of the next generation of school of medicine faculty. These faculty will be drawn from diverse backgrounds, many committed to research as a foundational aspect of their career. Tell us about how you could see yourself as a faculty of the future and how biomedical research might play a role in your career development (500 characters; spaces count as a character).

1. Discuss any elements of your application that you feel might be concerning to the Admissions Committee.

2. Do you have a connection to Northern or Central California?

If you answered ‘yes’ to having a connection to Northern or Central California, please explain below. If you answered ‘no’ type ‘not applicable’

Activities:

3. At UC Davis School of Medicine, we realize that each applicant brings diversity and perspective from a broad range of experiences. In this section, we give you the opportunity to describe in detail the 3 extracurricular activities or experiences that have been most influential in leading you to a career in medicine. We realize that many applicants have identified key experiences in the main application. However, some do not and others identify less than 3. We apologize for any redundancy – feel free to reproduce the comments from your Primary application and expand on them as appropriate.

Briefly describe this activity and its significance. How did it prepare you for a medical career? Include any supporting information (e.g., your contribution to the project or accomplishment as well as links to any publication, etc.).

Limit your response to 500 characters for the next 3 questions:

Do not feel compelled to answer this question, but if there is a portion of the application which needs clarification it is reasonable to do so. If there is a negative portion of the application which has an explanation for the reason, go ahead and provide it. Be sure to not sound like a victim and not to make excuses, but be honest in description of the circumstances and reasons for this issue. One possible example is if you had any health issues requiring you to withdraw from a class and receive an incomplete. Be sure to state what you learned from the experience and how you improved upon it thereafter.

2. Do you have a connection to Northern or Central California? (Y/N) If you answered ‘yes’ to having a connection to Northern or Central California, please explain below. If you answered ‘no’ type ‘not applicable’.

Answer as applicable to your background. Feel free to describe personal family connections or a prior experience with the area. Incorporating a desire to give back to the community can make your essay stronger. UC Davis has a very strong primary care presence in the medical school and residency so a desire to serve the community will reflect well upon you. Make it genuine though, and do not concoct an answer which is not true or legitimate.

Experiences Section

500 characters or less:

3. At UC Davis School of Medicine we realize that each applicant brings diversity and perspective from a broad range of experiences. In this section we give you the opportunity to describe in detail the 3 extracurricular activities or experiences that have been most influential in leading you to a career in medicine. We realize that many applicants have identified key experiences in the main application. However, some do not and others identify less than 3. We apologize for any redundancy – feel free to reproduce the comments from your Primary application and expand on them as appropriate.

This is a difficult question because the key is to answer effectively while not repeating what was stated in the primary application. Although the prompt allows for redundancy, your application will be stronger if the same concepts are not repeated. Choose an experience you feel strongly about and then try to think about how you could explain its importance from a fresh angle. Perhaps there was a deeper or different lesson it taught you than what you previously described. Tie the experience to a tangible skill you gained or lesson you learned which will help you impact the medical profession. How does that experience make you unique and a good contribution to the diversity of the school?

The secondary application essay prompts from this medical school application cycle are the same as above.

Disclaimer: The information on this page was shared by students and/or can be found on the medical school’s website. Med School Insiders does not guarantee the accuracy of the information on this page.

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Entry Level Writing

UC Davis supports undergraduate writers by offering a variety of Entry Level Writing Requirement (ELWR) fulfillment pathways for students. The requirement, common to all University of California campuses , is meant to bolster new Aggie writers so they feel prepared for the writing tasks they will be asked to complete in their academic careers at Davis and beyond. Because the ELWR is designed to help you feel even more prepared for writing tasks ahead, you need to satisfy the requirement as soon as possible once you enroll at UCD.

UC Davis Graduate Studies

Writing a diversity statement for the academic job market, event date tue, aug 13, 2024 @ 11:00am - 12:00pm.

Diversity statements have become prerequisites for many positions on the academic job market. These statements demonstrate an individual’s commitment to supporting and prioritizing diversity through their teaching and scholarship.

Learn more and register here .

Asking for a Recommendation

Many of you will need letters of recommendation from the faculty, either for graduate school, professional school, internships, or jobs.  Don’t let this need catch you by surprise!

Preparing to ask for letters of recommendation

1) Get to know faculty by coming to office hours and speaking in class.  It’s especially useful to develop a working relationship with a faculty member by participating in the English Department honors seminar, conducting an independent study, or designing an independent research project through the MURALs or PUF programs.

2) Save your work from classes in which you have performed well.  Keep a portfolio of the work of which you are most proud.  If you think you might want to ask a particular professor for a recommendation, save all of the work you do in her or his classes.

When it is time to ask for a recommendation

1)  Ask professors who know you and for whom you have done your best work.  If you are applying to graduate school in a particular field (such as African American literature), be sure to include at least one letter from a professor who is publishing scholarship in that field.  You can learn this from the English department website.

2) Approach each professor at least two weeks before a letter is due.  Try to plan ahead so that you can give recommenders three to four weeks.

3) If you need more than one letter, provide a list in chronological order of the different addresses and directions for each letter and the date each is due.

4) If you are applying to many graduate schools or law schools, please use a credential service so that professors only need to write one letter – such a service is available through Advising Services.

5) Sign the waiver form(s).  Although you can certainly refuse to waive your rights, institutions tend to take recommendations less seriously when you have done so.

6) To help the professor write the recommendation, provide:

-a rough draft of your statement of purpose;

-a resume or list of honors, awards, activities, internships, etc.;

-an unofficial transcript, if possible;

-and, above all, copies of the work you did in his or her class, preferably including comments.

7) For each letter required, provide a stamped, addressed envelope.   If the letter is going on campus, you do not need to include stamps.

Finally, let your recommenders know what happened with your applications!

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• Norma J. Lang Prize for Undergraduate Information Research

Eligibility

Students’ research may be in any academic subject or major at UC Davis.

Submissions will be considered from individuals or groups.

To be eligible, applicants must:

• Be currently enrolled, full-time UC Davis undergraduates at any class level and in any discipline. Graduate students and post-baccalaureates are not eligible.
• Have completed a creative work, empirical research or interpretive analysis paper for a credit course at UC Davis during one of the previous four quarters — spring, summer, fall or winter (Spring 2023-Winter 2024) — including study abroad.
• Not be a previous Lang Prize winner.
• Winner or finalist agrees to provide the creative work, empirical research or interpretive analysis for public display in the UC Davis Library and/or online.
• Winner or finalist agrees to attend a reception at Shields Library where the winners will be honored.
• If you are, or ever have been, employed or currently employed at UC Davis, the submission must be unrelated to work performed during your employment.

Note: Prize/Award payments are generally subject to federal tax. California residents may be subject to state tax.

Important Dates

Start date for accepting submissions.

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Student Submission Deadline

Monday, April 1, 2024, at 11:00 p.m.

Instructor/Principal Investigator Support Due

Monday, April 1, 2024

Review Period

Tuesday, April 2 — Friday, April 26, 2024

Winner Notification

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Winner Reception

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Required Application Materials

Review the evaluation rubric to see how your submission will be scored by the judges.

Lang Prize Rubric (pdf)

To complete the application, you will need to provide the following supporting documentation:

1. Your Research Paper or Creative Project

If the project is in a format that cannot be submitted electronically, such as an architectural model, CD, or DVD, please submit a document that provides a detailed description of the project in sufficient detail to allow its merits to be judged. If the project is online, please submit the URL.

Your project can be:

• Creative Works, including, but not limited to, an art installation, software program, musical composition, film or video, special project, etc.
• Empirical Research, including, but not limited to, collection, analysis, evaluation, and integration of primary and secondary research, e.g., research articles and essays.
• Interpretive Analysis, including, but not limited to, cultural/literary criticism, film analysis, historiographies, social criticism, etc.

Your paper or project must have been completed between Spring 2023 and Winter 2024. Regarding the use of AI (artificial intelligence) tools, such as ChatGPT, please follow the guidelines provided by your instructor.

2. Reflective Essay

Your Reflective Essay is an opportunity for you to provide an understanding of the information research process related to your research paper or creative project. Please include the following information in your Reflective Essay, which you should submit as a Microsoft Word document or PDF:

• Describe your information research process , highlighting any methods and strategies you learned or developed to access the information you needed for your work. 
• Describe the strategies you used to search for information to develop your project. Your detailed description should identify the scope and nature of the information needed and how this informed your choice of search tools and information sources used. 
• Describe any challenges you encountered in the search process and how you addressed them. 
• Describe how you evaluated the resources you found through your information research process and decided which to reference in your work. In your reflection, it should be clear how your work uses existing scholarship to create something new. 
• The name of the tool used and a link to the website for the tool
• A description of the type of task you used the tool to accomplish (e.g., outlining the essay or checking your essay’s grammar and syntax)
• A list of the specific prompt(s) used, if appropriate
• For reference, see  Acknowledging the Use of Generative Artificial Intelligence  (Monash University)
• If you did not use an AI tool , please add this statement to the end of your Reflective Essay, “No AI tools/technologies were used in the writing of this essay.”

3. Bibliography

Bibliography in a recognized style (e.g., APA, MLA), included for your paper or project.

4. Instructor or Principal Investigator Review

The scoring of your application will include an evaluation of the quality of your research effort and resulting work by the person overseeing your work, such as the instructor of the course in which the work was created or principal investigator for the research project. The form for submitting an Instructor Review is linked below.

It is your responsibility to request a review from your instructor or principal investigator well in advance of the deadline. As a courtesy, when you upload your complete application online, a reminder email will be sent to the person named in your application. However, you should notify this person well in advance of the deadline.

Apply for the Lang Prize

Lang Prize Contact

If you have questions about the Lang Prize, feel free to email us.

Freshman requirements

• Subject requirement (A-G)
• GPA requirement
• Admission by exception
• English language proficiency
• UC graduation requirements

Additional information for

• California residents
• Out-of-state students
• Home-schooled students

Transfer requirements

• Understanding UC transfer
• Preparing to transfer
• UC transfer programs
• Transfer planning tools

International applicants

• Applying for admission
• English language proficiency (TOEFL/IELTS)
• Passports & visas
• Living accommodations
• Health care & insurance

AP & Exam credits

Applying as a freshman

• Filling out the application
• Dates & deadlines

Personal insight questions

• How applications are reviewed
• After you apply

Applying as a transfer

Types of aid

• Grants & scholarships
• Jobs & work-study
• California DREAM Loan Program
• Middle Class Scholarship Program
• Blue and Gold Opportunity Plan
• Native American Opportunity Plan  
• Who can get financial aid
• How aid works
• Estimate your aid

Apply for financial aid

• Cal Dream Act application tips
• Tuition & cost of attendance
• Glossary & resources
• Santa Barbara
• Campus program & support services
• Check majors
• Freshman admit data
• Transfer admit data
• Native American Opportunity Plan
• There is one required question you must answer.
• You must also answer 3 out of 7 additional questions.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
• Which three questions you choose to answer are up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

• All questions are equal: All questions are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions: It's about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that; personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC.

Required question

Please describe how you have prepared for your intended major, including your readiness to succeed in your upper-division courses once you enroll at the university. Things to consider: How did your interest in your major develop? Do you have any experience related to your major outside the classroom;such as volunteer work, internships and employment, or participation in student organizations and activities? If you haven't had experience in the field, consider including experience in the classroom. This may include working with faculty or doing research projects.

If you're applying to multiple campuses with a different major at each campus, think about approaching the topic from a broader perspective, or find a common thread among the majors you've chosen.

Choose to answer any three of the following seven questions:

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about your accomplishments and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities? 

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.   Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there's a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it. You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you, just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends, or with my family? 6. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown, or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 7. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider: If there's anything you want us to know about you, but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends—can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

Need more help?

Download our worksheets:

• English [PDF]
• Spanish [PDF]

Area 3 Writing: Writing in the Primary Grades

CEUs 2.5 Section Number 241CRT810 Instruction Method Credit services - transcript record

Section Notes

This is an optional 2.5 CEU credit enrollment for registered participants of Area 3 Writing: Writing in the Primary Grades from June 24 - June 28. Please do not enroll in this section if you have not attended course.

Previous Internships

Note: The list below represents a sample of sites where English Majors have completed internships in the past; it is not a comprehensive list. Students should conduct their own research to identify prospective internship sites. For a listing of currently available internships on and off campus, please visit the Internship and Career Center’s online portal,  Handshake .

The ICC also has a weekly newsletter with internship and job listings for students, which you sign up for  here . Finally, ICC also provides a listing of internship organizations or programs which were notated on student transcripts. Here is that list for  English Majors.

Tips to market your English major to prospective internship sites:

Tailor your resume to highlight skills developed through your major

• Consider including a “Relevant Coursework” section with 4-6 classes related to the internship.
• In the “Skills” and “Experience” sections, articulate transferable skills like critical thinking, verbal and written communication, and time-management.
• Highlight accomplishments related to your major by including a “Projects”, “Publications”, or “Awards” section.
• More information on resumes and cover letters: https://icc.ucdavis.edu/materials .

Connect your internship experience to your career aspirations

• English majors pursue a diverse range of careers, including law, public relations, education, publishing, and more. In fact, there are UC Davis English alumni working in almost every field imaginable!
• Highlight how your English major and a particular internship are useful in preparing for your future career.
• Explore data on career outcomes for English majors: https://icc.ucdavis.edu/data/major

Get involved in extracurricular activities that complement your English major in order to showcase your passion for the field

• Joining clubs and organizations will help you build community and expand your network, which can open up potential opportunities.
• More information on activities and organizations: https://csi.ucdavis.edu/

Be prepared to provide high quality writing samples that exemplify your outstanding abilities

• Some internship/job opportunities may require you to submit a writing sample as a part of your application. Be sure to collect examples from your English classes that demonstrate your best work.
• More information on writing samples: https://icc.ucdavis.edu/materials/writing-samples .

Law Scholars Connect at Third Annual Michael A. Olivas Writing Institute

• by Viktoria Kachagina
• June 24, 2024

UC Davis School of Law hosted the Third Annual Michael A. Olivas Writing Institute at King Hall on June 20-21, 2024. Twenty legal scholars, ranging from recent law graduates and junior faculty, convened to receive input on their recent scholarship from a supportive intellectual community. The workshop engaged many scholars in mutual support and mentorship, helping advance the scholarly endeavors of young law faculty who bring diverse experiences and perspectives into the classroom and to their research. 

The late Professor Michael A. Olivas dedicated his career to diversifying the legal academy by supporting and mentoring faculty of color. Honoring his legacy, the Michael A. Olivas Writing Institute, founded by Florida International University College of Law Professor  Ediberto Román , creates space in legal education for those who were traditionally given none. During the two-day program, junior scholars connected and received constructive feedback on drafts of scholarship. 

Kevin R. Johnson - Dean, Mabie-Apallas Professor of Public Interest Law, Professor of Chicana/o Studies, and Co-Director of UC Davis Law's Aoki Center for Critical Race and Nation Studies - provided welcome remarks to kick off the event on June 20, followed by a reception and dinner at King Hall. In 2023, Dean Johnson received the Association of American Law Schools’ inaugural Michael A. Olivas Award for Outstanding Leadership in Diversity and Mentoring in the Legal Academy.

On Friday, June 21, Martin Luther King Jr. Professor of Law and Co-Director of the Aoki Center for Critical Race and Nation Studies, Raquel E. Aldana , and University of Hawai’i at Mānoa William S. Richardson School of Law Assistant Professor, Emile Loza de Siles , co-delivered the keynote address titled “The State of Latinidad in U.S. Legal Education.” Later that day, participating scholars presented draft papers during hybrid in-person and virtual format concurrent sessions.

Funding for the Third Annual Olivas Writing Institute comes from the Mabie/Apallas Public Interest Chair. The institute is co-sponsored by the UC Davis Law Aoki Center for Critical Race and Nation Studies .

The organizing committee included:

Raquel E. Aldana (UC Davis Law)

Stella Emery Santana (Florida International University College of Law)

Jonathan Harris (Loyola Law School)

Kevin R. Johnson (UC Davis Law)

Ediberto Román (Florida International University College of Law)

Justice-Lab celebrate the conclusion of their spring writing retreat at Quail Ridge

• by Carrie Armstrong-Ruport
• July 03, 2024

Jonathan London (CDGG and GGG) and some members of the Justice-Lab celebrate the conclusion of their spring writing retreat at Quail Ridge. The lab has bi-annual writing retreats mixing writing, team-building , game playing, sharing meals, and enjoying nature. Pictured here are: Coco Herda, Heather Lieb, Lupe Franco, Sadaf Sinambari, Megan Williams. Sudikshya Bhandari and Gaurav Thapa (on Zoom). 

Professional Writing

College of Letters and Science

Did you know that the ability to effectively communicate through writing is the number one job skill? The  minor in professional writing  offers students advanced instruction in writing and editing as well as guidance in adapting to new technologies, new modes of discourse, and new rhetorical situations.

Students learn how to write, design, and edit effectively in multiple forms—including print, mixed media, and a variety of professional genres—for specific purposes, contexts, and audiences. They also learn how to analyze writing and writing contexts using appropriate theories and research methodologies. Through an internship requirement, the minor additionally provides students opportunities to gain experience working as professional writers in organizational settings.

The minor serves two groups of students: those who are planning careers as writers or editors (e.g., journalists, medical writers, content developers) and those whose academic and professional careers will demand advanced writing and editing skills. 

Courses in the minor will teach students about the various forms of writing they are likely to encounter, provide opportunities to experiment with their writing processes, and teach techniques for modifying their writing styles for different audiences and formats.

Minor Requirements

Contact information.