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Dealing with Disappointment

  • Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries

reflective essay about disappointment

There are more- and less-healthy ways to cope with it.

Disappointments are inevitable, and how we cope with them is often a defining moment in our lives. How we respond to disappointment is often influenced by our upbringing; some people seek to avoid disappointment by underachieving (setting their expectations permanently low) while others seek to avoid it by overachieving (setting their expectations unattainably high). Regardless of which way we lean, we can learn to respond healthily to disappointment by adopting a coping style that seeks to understand what happened, checks whether our expectations were reasonable, reevaluates our perceptions and behaviors, and seeks positive solutions instead of dwelling on the past. Introspection can be helpful, but rumination is often not. Although disappointment is inevitable, being discouraged is always a choice.

Robert didn’t know what to think. How could he have misjudged the situation so badly? He felt angry, sad, and betrayed.

  • MV Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries is a management scholar, a psychoanalyst, and an executive coach. He is the Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development and Organizational Change at INSEAD.

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Essay on Dealing With Disappointment And Hardship

Students are often asked to write an essay on Dealing With Disappointment And Hardship in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Dealing With Disappointment And Hardship

Understanding disappointment and hardship.

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes, things don’t go as planned. You may feel sad when you face disappointment or hardship. It’s like missing a goal in a soccer game or getting a lower grade than you hoped for. These tough times are normal, and everyone goes through them.

Feeling Your Emotions

It’s okay to feel upset when things go wrong. Let yourself be sad, angry, or frustrated. Talk to someone you trust, like a friend, teacher, or family member. Sharing your feelings can make you feel better.

Finding Solutions

After you’ve felt your feelings, start thinking of ways to make things better. If you did poorly on a test, maybe you can study more or ask for help. There’s often a way to fix or improve the situation.

Learning from Experience

Every time something doesn’t work out, you can learn from it. Maybe you find out that you need to try harder or change your approach. These lessons help you grow and do better next time.

Staying Positive

250 words essay on dealing with disappointment and hardship, understanding disappointment.

Life is like a road with ups and downs. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and we feel sad or let down. This feeling is called disappointment. It happens to everyone, whether it’s a bad grade on a test, a lost game, or a broken toy.

Hardship Is Tough

Hardship is a hard word for tough times. It’s when we face big problems that are not easy to solve. This could be being sick for a long time, having no money, or dealing with a storm that damages your house.

Facing Disappointment

When disappointment hits, it’s okay to feel upset. But after some time, we need to get back on our feet. Talk to someone you trust, like a parent or friend. They can help you see things in a new way. Remember, it’s not the end of the world, and there’s always a chance to try again.

Overcoming Hardship

Hardship is harder to beat, but not impossible. It asks for courage and not giving up. When times are tough, find help. This could be from family, friends, teachers, or even groups in your community. They can give support and advice to help you get through it.

Learning From It All

Both disappointment and hardship teach us important lessons. They make us stronger and smarter. We learn to solve problems, to be patient, and to understand that sometimes things don’t work out—and that’s okay. Remember, after a storm, the sun always comes out. In life, after hard times, good times will follow.

500 Words Essay on Dealing With Disappointment And Hardship

Accepting your feelings.

When disappointment or hardship hits, it’s okay to feel bad. It’s important to know that everyone goes through these times. You’re not alone. It’s not wrong to feel upset. Let yourself be sad for a while. Talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or teacher. Sharing your feelings can make you feel better.

Finding the Good in the Bad

Even when things are tough, there can be something good to find. Look for small things that make you happy, like playing a game, reading a book, or spending time with a pet. Remembering the good things in life can help balance the bad feelings. Sometimes, hard times can teach us important lessons, like being strong or learning new ways to solve problems.

Changing What You Can

Setting new goals.

When you face disappointment, it might mean you need to set new goals. If you wanted to be in a play but didn’t get a part, maybe you can try out for another show or join the stage crew. Setting new goals gives you something to work toward and can help you move past your disappointment.

Being Patient and Kind to Yourself

Things often get better with time. Be patient. You won’t feel disappointed or sad forever. Be kind to yourself. Don’t say mean things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend. Give yourself the same kindness you would give to others.

Asking for Help When Needed

Remembering you’re not alone.

Remember, every person faces disappointment and hardship. It’s part of life. But we can learn from these moments and become stronger. When you look back, you might see how these tough times helped you grow. Keep going, keep trying, and know that you’re not alone. There are always people who care and want to help you through the hard times.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

Happy studying!

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reflective essay about disappointment

reflective essay about disappointment

3 Reasons Why Disappointment Is Good

  • by Celes     |    
  • Filed in Emotional Mastery

reflective essay about disappointment

This series is available for download as an ebook. Click on the button below to download.

How To Deal With Disappointment

This is part 1  of a 4-part series on how to deal with disappointment.

  • Part 1 :  3 Reasons Why Disappointment Is Good
  • Part 2 :  Are You Letting Your Disappointments Destroy You?
  • Part 3 :  How to Deal With Disappointment
  • Part 4 : My Experience with Disappointment and How I Overcame It

Why Disappointment is Good

“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” — Henry Ward Beecher

Have you ever felt disappointed about something?

It could be any event in your life. Perhaps you were passed up for a job promotion. Maybe you lost a business deal. Maybe someone you like did not return your feelings. Maybe your relationship did not work out . Maybe a friend betrayed you . Maybe you suffered a business failure.

How did it feel? Did you feel numb? Did you feel dejected? For the really bad cases, did you feel like it was the end of the world?

Disappointment is a feeling of sadness when something falls short of your expectation . Every day, people deal with disappointment. Depending on how big the disappointment is and how you deal with it, this feeling may disappear after a short while, or hang over your life for a long period of time. If not dealt with properly, disappointments can lead to depression, and eventually apathy.

Why Disappointments Are Good

Contrary to what some may think, disappointment is a good thing, for 3 main reasons.

1. Disappointment means passion for something

Every cause has an effect. Think of disappointment as an effect, where the cause is your love for the thing in question.

For example,

  • You are disappointed in a friend, because you care a lot about the friendship.
  • You are disappointed in your recent dates, because you are passionate about finding the one for you.
  • You are disappointed in your business failure, because you really want to see it succeed. Because you care deeply about the mission of your work.

As the saying goes, “There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love” (Martin Luther King Jr.).  This deep love is what drives you towards your goals.

Know that disappointment is a better emotional state than apathy. When someone is apathetic, they feel indifferent about everything. This is no different from being a robot. But here, you recognize your emotions and you feel them — be it good or bad.   This is a good thing, because to feel is to be in touch with your inner self.

2. Disappointment means an opportunity for growth

Every time we feel disappointed, it means there is an error in our framework of reality.

Why do I say that? Let’s start with why you feel disappointed. You feel disappointed because you had an expectation and it was not met. Hence, you feel disappointment.

It could be from not winning a competition that you trained heavily in. Or investing in a friendship, where the friend did not reciprocate your effort. Or putting yourself on the line for your job, but getting laid off as your boss did not appreciate you. Each time, you had an expectation that was not met, and when confronted with the truth, you became disappointed.

Here, your disappointment comes from the mismatch between reality and your expectation. Yet, the reality has been this way all along — reality did not change in that one second leading to your discovery of the truth. The world did not conspire to bring you down. The reason you feel disappointed is because you  discovered  the truth — and this truth is not what you thought it would be.

So, think of your disappointment as a troubleshooting tool to understand the gaps in your mental framework of reality. By using disappointment to understand more about the world and correct your assumptions, you become more knowledgeable and wiser. You can also correct your actions to better achieve your goals.

Reflective Essay Examples and Samples

Reflecting on a chosen topic requires deep insight, making reflective essays difficult to write. Read our samples of reflective essays to gain a greater understanding of how to write one on your own.

Introduction to Reflective Essay: An Exploration of Self

A reflective essay is a type of personal writing that allows you to explore and document your thoughts, feelings, and insights about a particular subject or experience. Unlike other forms of academic writing, a reflective essay is more subjective and focuses more on your personal perspectives and interpretations. Writing a reflective essay can be a powerful way to articulate your growth and discoveries, making it an essential tool for creative and personal writing.

The Importance of Personal Experiences in Reflective Writing

Reflective writing revolves around personal experiences. It’s through such experiences that we learn, grow, and evolve. As such, personal experience plays a crucial role in reflective essays. A well-written reflective essay should vividly describe the experience, delve into the feelings it evoked, and critically analyze the impact it had on you. Reflective essays are not just a recounting of events, but a deep exploration of how those events influenced your outlook on life, reshaped your beliefs, or contributed to your personal growth.

Creative Expression: The Heart of a Reflective Essay

Creative writing goes hand in hand with reflective essays. The very nature of reflective essays – introspective, personal, and subjective – calls for creative expression. The creative door is wide open when writing a reflective essay, allowing you to experiment with different writing styles, narrative structures, and descriptive techniques. The goal here is to create an engaging and compelling narrative that captures your personal insights and emotional journey in the most authentic way possible.

Examining Growth Through Reflective Essays: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Reflective essays often serve as a mirror, reflecting your journey of growth. Whether it’s overcoming a personal challenge, learning a new skill, or undergoing a transformative life experience, these growth narratives form the backbone of reflective essays. When writing a reflective essay, it’s essential to not only describe the event or experience but also to delve into how it contributed to your growth as a person. How did it change you? What did you learn about yourself? How have you evolved as a result? Answering these questions can lead to profound insights and self-discovery.

Using Books and Literature as a Catalyst for Reflection

Books and literature often serve as a catalyst for reflection. A classic novel, a thought-provoking non-fiction book, or a compelling piece of poetry can provoke deep reflection and become the subject of a reflective essay. Whether it’s a book that changed your perspective, a character you deeply resonated with, or a theme that made you rethink your beliefs, reflective essays about literature can be a powerful way to explore your thoughts, feelings, and reactions to the written word.

Emotional Intelligence: Exploring Your Emotions in a Reflective Essay

Exploring your emotions forms an essential part of the reflective writing process. In fact, reflecting on our feelings and emotions is an exercise in emotional intelligence. A reflective essay offers a safe space to navigate complex emotions, understand emotional responses, and articulate emotional growth. Whether reflecting on a life-changing event or exploring your reactions to a particular book, it’s crucial to delve into your emotional journey. By understanding your feelings, you can gain deeper insights into your emotional patterns, personal triggers, and coping mechanisms.

  • Understanding Emotional Responses: When writing a reflective essay, it’s crucial to delve deep into the emotions experienced during a particular event or circumstance. This could range from joy and excitement to confusion, disappointment, or even grief.
  • Navigating Complex Emotions: Sometimes, experiences can elicit complex emotions that are hard to navigate. Reflective writing offers a safe space to untangle these emotions and gain a clearer understanding of your emotional state.
  • Articulating Emotional Growth: A reflective essay allows you to document your emotional growth. Overcoming a difficult situation, managing negative emotions, or discovering a new perspective all signify emotional growth that can be articulated through reflective writing.
  • Identifying Emotional Patterns: By consistently writing reflective essays, you can identify patterns in your emotional responses. This can help you better understand your reactions to similar situations in the future.
  • Recognizing Personal Triggers: Reflective writing can help you identify personal triggers that prompt specific emotional responses. This awareness can equip you to manage these triggers more effectively.
  • Developing Coping Mechanisms: Understanding your emotions through reflective writing can lead to the development of effective coping mechanisms. Whether it’s mindfulness, meditation, or simply taking a walk, recognizing what helps you manage your emotions is a significant step towards emotional intelligence.

Reflecting on College Class Experiences

College classes offer rich experiences that can provide plenty of material for a reflective essay. Perhaps it’s a creative writing class that opened up a new world of expression for you, or a challenging science class that pushed you to your limits. Reflecting on these experiences can help you understand your academic journey, recognize your learning style, and appreciate the knowledge you’ve gained. Discuss the skills you’ve acquired, the challenges you’ve faced, the friendships you’ve made, and how these experiences have contributed to your growth and development.

Time Management Reflections: Overcoming Procrastination

Reflecting on time management can lead to valuable insights about your work habits and productivity. Have you struggled with procrastination? Have you discovered effective time management skills? A reflective essay on this topic can discuss your past struggles, the strategies you’ve employed to overcome them, and the progress you’ve made. By examining your relationship with time, you can uncover patterns, identify areas for improvement, and devise strategies to enhance your productivity.

Reflective Essay Examples: Lessons and Insights

One of the best ways to understand reflective essays is by reading and analyzing examples. These examples can serve as a guide, offering insights into the structure, tone, and style of reflective writing. Whether it’s an essay reflecting on personal growth, a transformative travel experience, or a powerful book that left an impression, reflective essay examples can provide inspiration for your own writing. Using a paraphraser can also help you rephrase and improve your writing, ensuring your reflections are expressed clearly and effectively.

In conclusion, reflective essays are a powerful form of personal and creative writing. They allow you to explore your experiences, emotions, and growth in a deeply personal way. Through reflective writing, you can gain valuable insights about yourself and your journey, making it a rewarding and transformative process.

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8 Tips For Writing A Great Reflective Essay (With Examples)

By writing a reflective essay, you can capture some of these ephemeral emotions and make sense of who you are. Below, I share eight tips (and a few examples) that will help you do it in a better way. You may have to write a reflective essay as a part of an academic assignment or a college paper. Or perhaps you want to create it for yourself and never show it to anyone. Regardless of the reason, after reading this article, you will hopefully become better at it. They helped a lot of students over the years, so you may check them out.

Here’s how to write a great reflective essay:

1. first, what is a reflective essay, 2. the power of writing introspectively.

Many great men and women (like Charles Darwin or Frida Kahlo ) had a habit of keeping a journal. This seems to be forgotten these days as we record everything through our mobile devices. But the habit of introspective writing and journaling helps you get in touch with your inner self and even improves your mental health. The reflective essay serves a similar purpose. It lets you search for meaning in your life and lets you discover the underlying causes of your actions.

“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.” – Søren Kierkegaard

3. How do you start your essay?

You may start with an introduction of experience, an event, or a memory on which you’ll reflect. If your topic is “a life-changing incident you had when you were a child,” you could start with: I used to live on a sunny farm with my parents and grandparents when I was young. A few days after I turned six, something happened that would alter the course of my life forever. I’m fifty-two as I’m writing this…

This beginning has certain elements that make it effective:

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” – Ralph Ellison

4. Learn how to structure your essay

In terms of length, it all depends on your assignment, but usually, the reflective essay has between 300 and 700 words . It has a rather informal structure and the use of language. After all, you’re drilling into your personal experiences, and often, this requires a poetic turn of the phrase. You’re more than welcome to use a wide range of advanced vocabulary .

Introduction

In this part, you set the tone for your reflection. You implicitly or explicitly say what will you reflect on, and what prompted you to do that. If you’re writing an academic paper , you’ll have to be more direct and for example, say: “What follows, are my reflections on what I’ve learned about life during the first year of college”.

Here, you sum up your essay and leave your audience with a final thought. Look ahead into the future and write about how your experiences are going to affect your life from now on. What’s the direction you’re going to take? What is there to look ahead to? You may also look backward and see how different you were in the past, compared to now. “I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It allows them to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.” – Amy Sedaris

5. Create an outline for your essay

As with most writing assignments , the work begins with ideation and then creating some sort of outline . Here’s a simple process you can use to get everything ready before you start writing: a) Scan your mind in search of powerful experiences, meaningful memories, and thoughts about your past. This will serve as a raw material from which you’ll sculpt a piece of prose. b) Consider the attractiveness of your topic from the reader’s point of view. You certainly don’t want to bore anyone, so pick something interesting, but important. c) Organize your essay and divide it into a couple of paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one important idea. d) Decide in which sequence you would like to share your ideas. Put some logic and chronology behind it. e) Jot down any side notes included in the essay. It’s always better to have an overabundance of material.

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – C.G. Jung

6. The essay-writing process

Once you have the idea, you can follow a simple process:, 7. how to pick the right topic for your essay.

If you’re writing an assignment, you’ll probably receive the prompt from your professor. If that’s the case, follow it diligently. This may be something like: a) Reflect on what you learned during your first year of high school. b) Think about your favorite book and how it changed your life . c) How did your writing skills change over the years? And why? Or it might be something really specific like Write a two-page reflection paper on the Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. Here, it’s not only about your personal experience, but about your interaction with a specific text, event, play, or movie and the effect it had on you. But what if you want to write an essay on your own? Which topic would you choose then? First, pick something meaningful to you. Second, pick something that you know well. Third, pick something that you want to explore and get deep into.

Here’s some more inspiration in the area of topics:

Personal reflection:, reflection on life and meaning:, reflection on events:.

“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” – Charles Dickens

8. Learn from the masters

Montaigne was the father of the essay as a literary form. He was the first writer to use informal tone, colloquial language, and rather prosaic themes to get to the deeper truth about human nature.

I recommend you check his essays for inspiration, along with other masterworks:

And here are a few books filled with great reflective essays:.

And here you may find a huge list of 450+ essay books on Goodreads.

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein

Example #1 of a reflective essay:

The misgivings about the high school football, here’s a second, shorter sample of a reflective essay:, the sources of love for instrumental music., looking backward, moving forward.

There are certain milestones in your life: finishing high school, falling in love for the first time, your first journey abroad, the first kiss, the first psychedelic trip, graduating from the university, getting your first job, getting married, having children… Each of these brings something new and unexpected and makes you grow as an individual. But you can run through life and never reflect on how it all changed , how silly and incompetent you were just a few years ago. And how you’ll think the same thing about the present in a few years. Perhaps you should compose a reflective essay and think about all of this, and about what’s coming. Next up, you may want to explore a list of the best essays of all time .

Rafal Reyzer

Hey there, welcome to my blog! I'm a full-time entrepreneur building two companies, a digital marketer, and a content creator with 10+ years of experience. I started RafalReyzer.com to provide you with great tools and strategies you can use to become a proficient digital marketer and achieve freedom through online creativity. My site is a one-stop shop for digital marketers, and content enthusiasts who want to be independent, earn more money, and create beautiful things. Explore my journey here , and don't miss out on my AI Marketing Mastery online course.

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How to deal with disappointment and rejection

White curve

Disappointment is a complex emotion which can be hard to process. It usually contains a wide range of unpleasant feelings – loss, grief, shame, embarrassment, anger, frustration, fear – all at once.

You might be experiencing some disappointment and rejection just after graduation. Disappointment in your university experience, your degree classification, your degree itself. Having your heart set on a certain job or graduate scheme and failing to secure it. Not getting an interview for a job you apply for is disappointing. Not getting selected for a job you interview for, even more so.

You may have your ideal job and then find it’s not what you thought it would be. This is disappointing. And so on. Potentially, a time full of disappointment and rejection.

One of the things about disappointment is that it is often very personal. It can feel like a big deal to you but other people may not understand why it matters so much. This will make it even harder to process.

So how can we deal with disappointment?

reflective essay about disappointment

1. Manage the emotions

Try to stay with the emotions and work out what exactly you are feeling. Sit with the feelings, no matter how unpleasant. Try to tolerate and process them. This can help start to calm them down. Talk to someone about your feelings or write them down. Go for a walk or listen to some music - whatever works for you. Practice self-compassion or mindfulness. Resist making important decisions or acting on these feelings until you are in a more settled frame of mind. Be patient. This can take time, depending on the nature of the disappointment or rejection.

2. Don’t take it personally

All too often we take disappointment personally. If the disappointment contains an element of rejection or failure, you might see it as a rejection or failure of you as a complete person. You might blame yourself thinking that if you had been better in some way the outcome might have been different.

Disappointment can crush your self-esteem and confidence. It can trigger shame and embarrassment. Try and see the disappointment as just one tiny part of your life. It should not define who you are. It may feel overwhelming at the moment but that will pass. Not taking things personally can eventually help you gain a broader understanding of yourself, others and how life works.

3. Think about your expectations

Are your expectations realistic? Setting expectations too high, or too low, can contribute to the nature of your disappointment. Working through disappointment can help you understand and modify your expectations – of yourself, others and life in general.

  • Do you set your expectations too high? You might have set unrealistically high expectations for yourself or life in general. If you have perfectionistic traits, you may need to move away from these and start accepting ‘good enough’.
  • Do you set your expectations too low? Do you hold onto beliefs like ‘what’s the point? Things never work out for me?’ Does disappointment seem inevitable? This expectation is not helpful either. You cannot avoid disappointment in life. Trying to avoid it, or approaching situations expecting it, is not helpful in the long run.
  • Are your expectations driven by trying to please other people? You might feel bad because you are disappointing or letting someone else down. This might then lead to a fear that they might then reject you. The best thing is to talk to them about it. If this is not possible, talk it through with someone else.

4. Look at the bigger picture

Try and get the disappointment into context. It may feel devastating now. It may feel as if it's going to affect your whole life. But there is a lot more to life than this one disappointment.

You may ask yourself, will this still be a problem in six months' or a year’s time? You may think about previous disappointments and rejections. How did they pan out? Often with the perspective of time you can see that it actually all worked out for the best.

Look at all the other people who have also experienced disappointment and rejection. They have survived. Don’t forget that for every job you apply for there will be many more disappointed applicants than the one who is successful.

5. Next time…

Don’t be disheartened. Take time to think about what you really want. Review your expectations. Try a different approach. Take disappointment in your stride. Learning how to manage it well will give you greater insight into yourself and others. It will help you become more resilient. These are great skills to take with you in life.

If you find it hard to move on, talk to someone to help re-evaluate and see beyond the current situation. This is especially important if you are experiencing mental health difficulties and the disappointment is especially hard to cope with.

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How to Write a Reflective Essay

3-minute read

  • 29th August 2018

If you think that a “reflective essay” is a college paper written on a mirror, this post is for you. That’s because we’re here to explain exactly what a reflective essay is and how to write one. And we can tell you from the outset that no mirrors are required to follow our advice.

reflective essay about disappointment

What Is Reflective Writing?

The kind of “reflection” we’re talking about here is personal. It involves considering your own situation and analyzing it so you can learn from your experiences. To do this, you need to describe what happened, how you felt about it, and what you might be able to learn from it for the future.

This makes reflective writing a useful part of courses that involve work-based learning . For instance, a student nurse might be asked to write a reflective essay about a placement.

When writing a reflective essay, moreover, you may have to forget the rule about not using pronouns like “I” or “we” in academic writing. In reflective writing, using the first person is essential!

The Reflective Cycle

There are many approaches to reflective learning, but one of the most popular is Gibb’s Reflective Cycle . This was developed by Professor Graham Gibbs and can be applied to a huge range of situations. In all cases, though, it involves the following steps:

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  • Description – You will need to describe your experiences in detail. This includes what happened, where and when it happened, who else was involved, and what you did.
  • Feelings – How you felt before, during, and after the experience you describe.
  • Evaluation and Analysis – Think about what went well and what could be improved upon based on your experience. Try to refer to ideas you’ve learned in class while thinking about this.
  • Conclusions – Final thoughts on what you’ve learned from the experience.
  • Action – How you will put what you’ve learned into practice.

If your reflective essay addresses the steps above, you are on the right track!

Structuring a Reflective Essay

While reflective essays vary depending upon topic and subject area, most share a basic overall structure. Unless you are told otherwise, then, your essay should include the following:

  • Introduction – A brief outline of what your essay is about.
  • Main Body – The main part of your essay will be a description of what happened and how it made you feel . This is also where you will evaluate and analyze your experiences, either as part of the description or as a separate section in the essay.
  • Conclusion – The conclusion of your essay should sum up what you have learned from reflecting on your experiences and what you would do differently in the future.
  • Reference List – If you have cited any sources in your essay, make sure to list them with full bibliographic information at the end of the document.

Finally, once you’ve written your essay, don’t forget to get it checked for spelling and grammar errors!

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Regret — How The Emotions Of Regret And Disappointment Can Be Beneficial For A Person

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How The Emotions of Regret and Disappointment Can Be Beneficial for a Person

  • Categories: Anxiety Fear Regret

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Words: 1112 |

Published: Mar 18, 2021

Words: 1112 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

  • Zeelenberg, M., Van den Bos, K., Van Dijk, E., & Pieters, R. (2002). The inaction effect in the psychology of regret. Journal of personality and social psychology, 82(3), 314.
  • Rhudy, J. L., & Meagher, M. W. (2000). Fear and anxiety: divergent effects on human pain thresholds. Pain, 84(1), 65-75.
  • Regret. Negative Emotion Typology. Para.4. Retrieved from https://emotiontypology.com/typology/list/regret.
  • Cappella University. (2019). The psychology of disappointment. Best Psychology Degrees. Retrieved from https://www.bestpsychologydegrees.org/the-psychology-of-disappointment/.
  • Lang, P. J. (1985). The cognitive psychophysiology of emotion: Fear and anxiety.

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reflective essay about disappointment

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Collaboration, information literacy, writing process, reflection essay.

  • CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 by Kristen Gay

At first glance, academic and reflection can sound like contradictory concepts. Writing an academic reflection essay often involves striking a balance between a traditional, academic paper and a reflective essay. In order to find this balance, consider the terms that encompass the title of the assignment

The term “academic” suggests that the writer will be expected to observe conventions for academic writing, such as using a professional tone and crafting a thesis statement. On the other hand, the term “reflection” implies that the writer should critically reflect on their work, project, or writing process, depending on the assignment, and draw conclusions based on these observations.

In general, an academic reflection essay is a combination of these two ideas: writers should observe conventions for academic writing while critically reflecting on their experience or project. Note that the term “critically” suggests that the writing should not merely tell the reader what happened, what you did, or what you learned. Critical reflection takes the writing one step further and entails making an evaluative claim about the experience or project under discussion. Beyond telling readers what happened, critical reflection tends to discuss why it matters and how it contributed to the effectiveness of the project.

Striking the proper balance between critical reflection and academic essay is always determined by the demands of the particular writing situation, so writers should first consider their purpose for writing, their audience, and the project guidelines. While the subject matter of academic reflections is not always “academic,” the writer will usually still be expected to adapt their arguments and points to academic conventions for thesis statements, evidence, organization, style, and formatting.

Several strategies for crafting an academic reflection essay are outlined below based on three important areas: focus, evidence, and organization.

A thesis statement for an academic reflection essay is often an evaluative claim about your experiences with a process or assignment. Several strategies to consider for a thesis statement in an academic reflection essay include:

  • Being Critical: It is important to ensure that the evaluative claim does not simply state the obvious, such as that you completed the assignment, or that you did or did not like it. Instead, make a critical claim about whether or not the project was effective in fulfilling its purpose, or whether the project raised new questions for you to consider and somehow changed your perspective on your topic.
  • Placement: For some academic reflection essays, the thesis may not come in the introduction but at the end of the paper, once the writer has fully explained their experiences with the project. Think about where the placement of your thesis will be most effective based on your ideas and how your claim relates to them.

Consider the following example of a thesis statement in an academic reflection essay:

By changing my medium from a picture to a pop song, my message that domestic violence disproportionately affects women was more effectively communicated to an audience of my classmates because they found the message to be more memorable when it was accompanied by music.

This thesis makes a critical evaluative claim (that the change of medium was effective) about the project, and is thus a strong thesis for an academic reflection paper.

Evidence for academic reflection essays may include outside sources, but writers are also asked to support their claims by including observations from their own experience. Writers might effectively support their claims by considering the following strategies:

  • Incorporating examples: What examples might help support the claims that you make? How might you expand on your points using these examples, and how might you develop this evidence in relation to your thesis?
  • Personal anecdotes or observations: How might you choose relevant personal anecdotes/observations to illustrate your points and support your thesis?
  • Logical explanations: How might you explain the logic behind a specific point you are making in order to make it more credible to readers?

Consider the following example for incorporating evidence in an academic reflection essay:

Claim: Changing the medium for my project from a picture to a pop song appealed to my audience of fellow classmates.

Evidence: When I performed my pop song remediation for my classmates, they paid attention to me and said that the message, once transformed into song lyrics, was very catchy and memorable. By the end of the presentation, some of them were even singing along.

In this example, the claim (that the change of medium was effective in appealing to the new audience of fellow classmates) is supported because the writer reveals their observation of the audience’s reaction. (For more about using examples and anecdotes as examples, see “Nontraditional Types of Evidence.”)

Organization

For academic reflection essays, the organizational structure may differ from traditional academic or narrative essays because you are reflecting on your own experiences or observations. Consider the following organizational structures for academic reflection essays:

  • Chronological Progression: The progression of points will reflect the order of events/insights as they occurred temporally in the project.

Sample Chronological Organization for a Remediation Reflection:

Paragraph 1: Beginning of the project

Paragraph 2: Progression of the remediation process

Paragraph 3: Progression of the remediation process

Paragraph 4: Progression of the remediation process

Paragraph 5: Progression of the remediation process

Paragraph 6: Conclusion—Was the project effective. How and why? How did the process end?

  • By Main Idea/Theme: The progression of points will centralize on main ideas or themes of the project.

Sample Organization By Main Idea/Theme for a Remediation Reflection:

Paragraph 1: Introduction

Paragraph 2: Discuss the message being translated

Paragraph 3: Discuss the change of medium

Paragraph 4: Discuss the change of audience

Paragraph 5: Was the change effective? Explain.

Paragraph 6: Conclusion

Remember that while these strategies are intended to help you approach an academic reflection paper with confidence, they are not meant to be prescriptive. Academic reflection essays are often unique to the writer because they ask the writer to consider their observations or reactions to an experience or project. You have distinctive ideas and observations to discuss, so it is likely that your paper will reflect this distinctiveness. With this in mind, consider how to most effectively compose your paper based on your specific project guidelines, instructor suggestions, and your experiences with the project.

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Reflecting on reflections: A case study of disappointment in student writing assignments

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John R. Buck; Reflecting on reflections: A case study of disappointment in student writing assignments. J. Acoust. Soc. Am. 1 March 2023; 153 (3_supplement): A273. https://doi.org/10.1121/10.0018823

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Several authors and instructors find that reflection essays and other similar journaling exercises help students to self-identify strengths and weaknesses in their understanding of class material. Even better, some students begin developing metacognitive skills identifying higher level strengths and patterns in their study habits. For several semesters, I required students in my undergraduate linear systems classes to submit a short 200–300 word reflection essay with each homework assignment identifying which topics on the assignment they had mastered, and which topics they still found confusing, and why. A vast majority of the submitted essays were disappointing laundry lists: “Problem 1 was about linearity, Problem 2 was about convolution…,” completely devoid of any thoughtful self-reflection. I found students’ resistance to engage meaningfully in this practice especially frustrating because my own pedagogical development benefitted from a consistent writing practice. This talk will also brainstorm some potential directions or approaches for future iterations of this activity in my classes.

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How to Answer "What Has Been Your Biggest Disappointment?" (With Sample Answers)

December 15, 2023 by Daniel Wolken

reflective essay about disappointment

When preparing for an interview, you may encounter the question, "What has been your biggest disappointment?" This inquiry is not meant to trip you up, but rather to glean insight into your resilience and ability to navigate challenges. It's an opportunity to showcase your problem-solving skills and your growth mindset.

Thoughtful reflection on your experiences, focusing on constructive outcomes rather than the disappointment itself, will result in a balanced and impactful response.

It is vital to choose an example that led to personal or professional development, ensuring that your answer communicates self-awareness, reflection, and a proactive stance toward overcoming setbacks while working from home .

Why Employers Ask This Question?

When you're in an interview, employers often ask about your greatest disappointments to gauge your self-awareness and resilience . Understanding how you perceive and overcome challenges is crucial to them, as it can illustrate your:

  • Problem-solving skills: How effectively you can navigate through tough situations.
  • Growth mindset: Your ability to learn from your setbacks and use them to improve.
  • Emotional intelligence: Your recognition and management of emotions---yours and others'.
  • Professional maturity: How you handle feedback and constructive criticism.
  • Honesty and Accountability: To determine if you can be transparent about your experiences and if you take responsibility for your actions and their outcomes.
  • Alignment with company values: Whether your attitude and learning experiences match the company culture.
  • Future potential: How your past disappointments have primed you for future roles, particularly in challenging or high-pressure situations.

How to Answer "What Has Been The Greatest Disappointment In Your Life With Examples"?

When approaching the question, "What has been your biggest disappointment?" focus on transforming a negative scenario into a reflection of your resilience and capacity to grow.

  • Choose a Relevant Example: Select a disappointment that is relevant to the context of the interview . Ideally, it should relate to your professional life, but if the question is asked in a personal context, you can choose a disappointment from your personal life.
  • Keep It Professional: If you're in a job interview, focus on professional disappointments rather than personal ones. Avoid discussing highly personal or sensitive issues unless it's relevant to the job or the interviewer encourages such discussions.
  • Provide Context: Start by briefly explaining the situation or circumstances that led to the disappointment. Provide enough context so that the person you're speaking to can understand the situation.
  • Explain Your Feelings : Describe how you felt when the disappointment occurred. Be honest about your emotions, but avoid being overly negative or critical. Use language that conveys your feelings without making it sound like you're dwelling on the disappointment.
  • Highlight What You Learned: The most important part of your response is to explain what you learned from the disappointment. Emphasize how you turned the disappointment into a valuable learning experience. Discuss the skills , insights, or personal growth that resulted from the setback.
  • Show Resilience and Adaptability: Discuss how you bounced back from the disappointment and adapted to the situation. Employers value candidates who can handle setbacks and challenges with resilience and a positive attitude.
  • Connect It to the Job : If you're in a job interview, tie your response back to the position you're applying for. Explain how the lessons you learned from your biggest disappointment have made you a stronger and more suitable candidate for the remote job .
  • Stay Positive: Maintain a positive and constructive tone throughout your response. Avoid blaming others or dwelling on negativity. Focus on the personal and professional growth that resulted from the disappointment.

Sample Answers For Interview Question "What Is Your Greatest Disappointment"?

When addressing the interview question about your biggest disappointment, it's essential to show personal growth and the ability to learn from challenges. Here are three sample answers that demonstrate resilience and positive outcomes from disappointing experiences.

Sample Answer 1: Missed Promotion Opportunity

"I was eager to advance to a managerial role, but when the opportunity arose, the position was given to a colleague. At first, I was deeply disappointed. However, this experience taught me to communicate more effectively about my career goals. I enrolled in a leadership course, which not only improved my skills but also showed my commitment. When I reapplied for a promotion six months later, I was successful."

Sample Answer 2: Unsuccessful Project

"In my previous role as a Sales head , a project I led did not meet the desired outcomes, despite my team's hard work. Initially, it felt like a significant setback. Reflecting on this, I understood the importance of flexibility and proactive risk management. I implemented these lessons in subsequent projects, leading to a series of successes and an award for innovation."

Sample Answer 3: Project Cancellation

"My team was working on a project I was particularly excited about, but it got unexpectedly canceled. I was responsible for the initial research and presentation to stakeholders. After the cancellation, I repurposed some of our work for a finance project. This helped us salvage our efforts and maintain team morale."

Sample Answer 4: Overlooked for a Leadership Role

"I was passionate about taking on a leadership role within a volunteer organization, and when I wasn't chosen, I was disappointed. Instead of letting this hold me back, I sought feedback and learned the value of showing consistent dedication in my role as a content writer . I continued to volunteer with enthusiasm, and within a year, I was not only given a leadership position but also recognized as Volunteer of the Year."

If you are searching for a remote job and need help finding where to look? DailyRemote is a remote job board with the latest jobs in various categories to help you. Join like-minded people in our LinkedIn and Facebook community.

Explore Other Interview Questions

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reflective essay about disappointment

Andrea Rosenhaft LCSW-R

Social Networking

Disappointment and rejection aren't all bad, experiencing rejection can help the sensitive soul build a thicker skin..

Posted November 17, 2013

Recently on an online dating website I stumbled across a man whom I thought would be a wonderful match. We had many of the same values and shared many of the same interests. We live in the same city and are only a year apart. His profile was unusually well written and detailed for a man. (I find that typically men write two or three sentences if at all.)

I became excited and sent him a message that said that I thought we had a great deal in common, would he read my profile and I look forward to hearing from him. I waited. And waited. I logged onto the site and saw that he had viewed my profile. I waited some more. Nothing.

I was deeply disappointed but I didn’t feel personally rejected because he had never met me. Although I had worked hard at writing my profile and I felt it represented me well, writing is one dimensional—even with a photo—and no description will characterize me as well as a face-to-face meeting.

Writing and trying to get published has been the best experience for me as far as developing a thicker skin. From when I was a child I was always known as the “sensitive one,” the girl who would cry at the least provocation.

reflective essay about disappointment

When I was in the sixth grade, I went up to the blackboard to take the pass to go the girl’s room and the teacher Mrs. Shore stopped teaching midstream and said loudly to me, “Gerri, you go to the bathroom an awful lot.” I froze; I didn’t know whether to return to my seat or proceed out the door. Paralyzed, I burst into tears in front of the class. Pointing at me Mrs. Shore said “There she goes again the drama queen, Sarah Bernhardt.” I had no idea who Sara Bernhardt was but I knew she couldn’t be good so I cried even harder. Finally I returned to my seat and tried to stop crying, reducing my tears to sniffles.

That incident has stuck with me not only because of the sheer mortification, but because it also exemplifies how sensitive I was. When I went home and told my parents what had happened that was the reaction I got. “You’re too sensitive.” I’ve believed that to be true ever since. Perhaps it was. Perhaps I was sensitive but not as much as was made out to be. I don’t know.

I receive many more rejections from publishers than I do acceptances. Some of them are form letters; a few of them are personal rejection letters telling me that my writing is excellent, but the piece doesn’t fit their needs right now. A very few even tell me how to improve my piece and ask me to resubmit. I don’t view the letters that fit into this last category as rejections per se. If a busy editor took the time to constructively criticize my work, then I view that as a way to learn from someone who knows what they’re talking about.

Many of my patients have been so traumatized by disappointment and rejection starting from childhood that they are paralyzed and have a great deal of anxiety about trying to change for fear of re-experiencing these events. I encourage them to talk about these incidents and their feelings that are associated with them. Sometimes, their emotions have been bottled up for decades. Sometimes they were labeled as I was—as sensitive, or as a baby, or as a wimp. And they took that to heart, carrying this negative label into adulthood. This tag may have affected their intimate relationships, their friendships and their performance in the workplace. It might have been devastating to many aspects of their adult life.

But at the same time, my patients grew to be comfortable inside it. “I am a sensitive person and I can’t change that. It’s who I am.”

I attempt to reframe my patients’ attitude of sustained sensitivity by exploring what it might be like to engage in an activity that they would be likely to succeed at—like completing a book they think they might enjoy—if that’s something they have had difficulty doing.

Then I praise my patient for his or her success and ask them what they would like to take on next, keeping in mind that small steps are best. If they don’t succeed, I still praise them for making the effort, then we talk about what got in the way. We talk about what he or she could learn from not being able to complete the activity at this time, and how they could apply that newfound knowledge to the next attempt.

The disappointment of Mr. Online- Dating -Site not responding to me still stings. But I will get over it and move on. Just as I keep submitting my writing to publishers, receiving rejections, I continue to submit knowing that I will get rejected again for this process spurs me to improve my writing.

The course of life events that led me to develop a less sensitive temperament also opened up my curious side and wonderment of the world around me. I don’t shrink or hide any longer; I am engaged with the universe. And I’m loving it.

Andrea Rosenhaft LCSW-R

Andrea Rosenhaft, LCSW-R is a licensed clinical social worker.

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    3. Disappointment makes you stronger. Last but not least, this may seem cliche, but disappointment makes you stronger. When you go through a harsh emotion like that, you become tougher. You learn to process and work through your emotions. You become more resilient to life's hardships.

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    Reflective Essay: Disappointment And Guilt. Disappointment and guilt are not usually emotions that a person feels at once. They are usually felt at different times in different situations but not in this case. I am disappointed because my father survived yet his character perished. I can't help but feel guilt because of my faulty disappointment.

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  7. Reflective Essay Examples and Samples

    Exploring your emotions forms an essential part of the reflective writing process. In fact, reflecting on our feelings and emotions is an exercise in emotional intelligence. A reflective essay offers a safe space to navigate complex emotions, understand emotional responses, and articulate emotional growth. Whether reflecting on a life-changing ...

  8. 8 Tips For Writing A Great Reflective Essay (With Examples)

    4. Learn how to structure your essay. In terms of length, it all depends on your assignment, but usually, the reflective essay has between 300 and 700 words. It has a rather informal structure and the use of language. After all, you're drilling into your personal experiences, and often, this requires a poetic turn of the phrase.

  9. How to Write a Reflective Essay

    1 Choose a tone. Before you begin to write your reflective essay, choose a tone. Because a reflective essay is more personal than an academic essay, you don't need to use a strict, formal tone. You can also use personal pronouns like I and me in your essay because this essay is about your personal experiences.

  10. The Writing Center

    The style and tone of your reflective essay should match the purpose of the overall assignment. This is a personal essay meant to showcase what you learned from the text, event, or experience that you are writing about. You can use the pronouns "I," "me," and "mine.". Describe the text, event, or experience fully, using plenty of ...

  11. How to deal with disappointment and rejection

    How to deal with disappointment and rejection. Disappointment is a complex emotion which can be hard to process. It usually contains a wide range of unpleasant feelings - loss, grief, shame, embarrassment, anger, frustration, fear - all at once. You might be experiencing some disappointment and rejection just after graduation.

  12. How to Write a Reflective Essay

    How to Write a Reflective Essay. If you think that a "reflective essay" is a college paper written on a mirror, this post is for you. That's because we're here to explain exactly what a reflective essay is and how to write one. And we can tell you from the outset that no mirrors are required to follow our advice. Mirrors are for kittens.

  13. How The Emotions Of Regret And Disappointment Can Be ...

    Disappointment can help people better understand what is important and which is people care more about. Disappointment differs from regret. ... The Lingering Shadow: A Reflective Paper About Regret Essay. Regret is a universal human experience that intertwines with our memories, decisions, and emotions. It is a complex feeling, often emerging ...

  14. Narrative Essay About Disappointment

    1006 Words. 5 Pages. Open Document. Essay Sample Check Writing Quality. Show More. Disappointment As a kid I always had a fear of disappointing my parents. It was as if I was born with this fear. No matter what the case was I never wanted them to look down on me. I always wanted them to be proud of me for doing good things at school and trying ...

  15. Reflective Essay

    Learn the purpose of writing a reflective essay, and see reflective essay examples. Discover how to format and how to start writing a reflective essay. Updated: 11/21/2023

  16. Reflection Essay

    In general, an academic reflection essay is a combination of these two ideas: writers should observe conventions for academic writing while critically reflecting on their experience or project. Note that the term "critically" suggests that the writing should not merely tell the reader what happened, what you did, or what you learned.

  17. Essay on DISSAPOINTMENT

    What a crazy question. At one point or another, everyone is going to experience a disappointment in their lives. Whether it is in a relationship, in education, or even in themselves, everyone has, and will continually keep facing disappointments. In Walker Percys essay,'' The loss of the creature'', Percy discusses how through preconceptions ...

  18. Essay On Disappointment

    Essay On Disappointment. 736 Words3 Pages. The moment when you realized that you 're a disappointment. You try to do everything you can to make him proud and be happy. But everything you try is not enough instead of him saying that he is proud of you he says try harder do better. And I know he doesn 't mean he means well, but don 't you think ...

  19. Reflecting on reflections: A case study of disappointment in student

    A vast majority of the submitted essays were disappointing laundry lists: "Problem 1 was about linearity, Problem 2 was about convolution…," completely devoid of any thoughtful self-reflection. I found students' resistance to engage meaningfully in this practice especially frustrating because my own pedagogical development benefitted ...

  20. How to Answer "What Has Been Your Biggest Disappointment?" (With Sample

    Thoughtful reflection on your experiences, focusing on constructive outcomes rather than the disappointment itself, will result in a balanced and impactful response. It is vital to choose an example that led to personal or professional development, ensuring that your answer communicates self-awareness, reflection, and a proactive stance toward ...

  21. Free Essay: Disappointing Time in My Life

    Strengths Of Perfectionism Essay. 3 Accept disappointment, but don't despair - find out how to put disappointment behind you. The route to your goal may not be direct, and you may have to take a few turns along the way, but use your determination to keep looking for the right track.…. 427 Words. 2 Pages.

  22. Disappointment and Rejection Aren't All Bad

    The disappointment of Mr. Online-Dating-Site not responding to me still stings. But I will get over it and move on. Just as I keep submitting my writing to publishers, receiving rejections, I ...

  23. Reflecting on reflections: A case study of disappointment in student

    A vast majority of the submitted essays were disappointing laundry lists: "Problem 1 was about linearity, Problem 2 was about convolution…," completely devoid of any thoughtful self-reflection.

  24. July 4 fireworks sound different to me now

    Essay by Catherine E. Shoichet, CNN 9 minute read Updated 8:54 AM EDT, Thu July 4, 2024 Link Copied! Follow: See your latest updates. Spectators watch from the Lincoln Memorial as fireworks erupt ...