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How Americans Fell in Love with the Open Road

As the automobile industry took off, drivers discovered the romance and freedom of long-distance travel.

By Peter J. Blodgett | August 13, 2015

In 1900, Americans were hampered by wretched roads and limited by the speed and endurance of the horses that powered buckboards, coaches, and wagons. If they had an urge to travel far distances, they had to rely upon the steam locomotive.

As fantastic as it might have seemed at the turn of the 20th century, the idea of supplanting the iron horse with the horseless carriage did catch the fancy of some intrepid men and women. Eager to test the technological limits of their new contraptions, a few hardy souls set off upon far-reaching expeditions between 1900 and 1910.

Colorado attorney Philip Delany, recounting his 1903 excursion from Colorado Springs to Santa Fe, observed, “and so the machine is conquering the old frontier, carrying the thudding of modern mechanics into the land of romance. . . .” Such travel meant seeing “the wildest and most natural places on the continent,” encountering more than a few hints of danger on steep and rocky mountain roads, and reliving the exploits of American pioneers. “The trails of Kit Carson and Boone and Crockett, and the rest of the early frontiersmen,” he declared, “stretch out before the adventurous automobilist.”

At the same time, some city dwellers simply sought an escape. Early 20th century urban environments had their drawbacks: sidewalks overflowing with scurrying pedestrians; streets crowded with unending waves of trolleys, delivery wagons, carriages, and pushcarts; the persistent stench rising from mounds of horse manure; raw sewage emptying into open gutters; rotting piles of uncollected garbage and dense clouds belching from factory smokestacks.

Upper-middle-class tourists motored through the countryside and then camped by the side of the road, finding the sentimentalized image of the gypsy or the tramp quite a compelling identity to assume. They reveled in their sense of independence from stodgy summer resorts and the tyranny of inflexible timetables set by railroads or steamship lines. They delighted in the beauty and serenity of unspoiled countryside. In the same article quoted above, Philip Delany observed that “when [the automobilist] is tired of the old, there are new paths to be made. He has no beaten track to follow, no schedule to meet, no other train to consider; but he can go with the speed of an express straight into the heart of an unknown land.”

Photograph illustrating an article called “From Coast to Coast in an Automobile,” World’s Work, May 1904

In its infancy, however, an automobile could not deliver most Americans from their urban frustrations—for most Americans could not afford to own and operate one. At a time when average annual salaries might not reach $500, many automobiles might cost between $650 and $1,300, securely beyond the grasp of all but the wealthiest. Moreover, with few garages, filling stations, and dealerships outside of city limits, even the infrastructure required for the care and feeding of the automobile could be difficult to locate and could drain the motorist’s wallet. During their earliest years, neither automobiles nor auto touring could be considered within the reach of the masses. Automobility would only become pervasive over time, thanks to rising wages, falling prices for used cars, expanding opportunities to buy these machines on credit, and, especially, the introduction of Henry Ford’s revolutionary Model T in 1908.

Even for those Americans who could afford the first horseless carriages, to go off the few familiar paths in most parts of the country, especially in the great distances of the trans-Mississippi West, required a large measure of self-reliance. One motor traveler characterized the roads of his native Wyoming in 1909 as “deep ruts, high centers, rocks, loose and solid; steep grades, washouts, or gullies . . . ” He went on to note that, “unbridged streams; sand, alkali dust; gumbo; and plain mud, were some of the more common abominations.” Between the obstacles presented by such abysmal road conditions, the likelihood of frequent mechanical breakdowns, and the rarity of supplies to sustain driver and vehicle, these early outings always required an audacious spirit.

Aspiring long-distance auto tourists back then were counseled by self-proclaimed experts to carry abundant quantities of supplies. Those who made the first transcontinental drives between 1901 and 1908 hauled along ropes, blocks and tackle, axes, sleeping bags, water bags, spades, camps stoves, compasses, barometers, thermometers, cyclometers, first aid kits, rubber ponchos, tire chains, pith helmets, assorted spare parts, and sufficient firearms to launch a small insurrection. Mary C. Bedell’s impressive list of gear, published in her entertaining 1924 account of auto touring, Modern Gypsies , typifies what was carried by the most dedicated motor campers both in scale and variety: “tent, duffle bags, gasoline stove, Adirondack grate and a kit of aluminum kettles, with coffee pot and enamel cups and saucers inside”—an array of equipment that added “four or five hundred pounds” alone to the weight of the fully loaded automobile. A car so laden, puffing along western trails, bears a striking resemblance in the mind’s eye to a hermit crab staggering across the ocean floor burdened with its house on its back.

Even as motoring Americans loaded up their cars with the contents of their local hardware stores, however, the growth in their numbers year by year provided alluring prospects to entrepreneurs in small towns and great cities throughout the West. Garages, gas stations, roadside cafés, and diners began to pop up along more frequently traveled routes while hotels, restaurants, and general stores started to advertise in the earliest guidebooks produced by organizations such as AAA and the Automobile Club of America. Following the lead of Gulf Oil in 1914, gasoline retailers commissioned maps branded liberally with their logos for free distribution at their service stations. Motorists once left entirely to their own devices now encountered a rapidly evolving infrastructure of goods and services.

Cover of The Auto Era, featuring Bud the dog, a passenger on an early cross-country automobile trip

Meanwhile, governments at the local, state, and federal levels began to invest increased engineering skill, construction efforts, and tax dollars in road improvements. While motor tourists by the end of the World War I might still encounter 10,000 miles of battered gravel trails littered with potholes for every 10 miles of carefully surfaced and maintained roads throughout the country, the increasing pace of improvements made it far easier to drive through the West than it had been for those who had attempted such a journey only a decade before.

Although still new to the American scene by 1920, the road trip thus had begun to take on a shape familiar to modern eyes. Above all, the automobile was assuming a dominant role in popular recreation as more and more Americans incorporated it into their visions of recreation and leisure. As costs fell and reliability increased, as the successful outings of the few began to inspire the many, and as the thrill of this new technology spread through an ever-wider range of the populace, motoring for pleasure insinuated itself as a notion in the minds of many Americans. Indeed, less than a decade after the turn of the 20th century, author William F. Dix could assert that the automobile had become nothing less than a “vacation agent” for motor-savvy Americans as it “opens up the countryside to the city dweller, [and held out the promise of] great national highways stretching from ocean to ocean and from North to South.” Over those highways, he continued, “would sweep endless processions of light, graceful, and inexpensive vehicles . . . carrying rich and poor alike into a better understanding of nature and teaching them the pure and refreshing beauties of the country.”

While Dix fell far short as a prophet of social or technological developments, his sense of how inextricably linked the automobile would become in the leisure pursuits of Americans has been thoroughly borne out by the evolution of the American road trip.

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Song of the Open Road

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, Healthy, free, the world before me, The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose. …

Still here I carry my old delicious burdens, I carry them, men and women—I carry them with me wherever I go… … The black with his woolly head, the felon, the diseased, the illiterate person, are not denied; The birth, the hasting after the physician, the beggar’s tramp, the drunkard’s stagger, the laughing party of mechanics, The escaped youth, the rich person’s carriage, the fop, the eloping couple, The early market-man, the hearse, the moving of furniture into the town, the return back from the town, They pass, I also pass, any thing passes—none can be interdicted, None but are accepted, none but are dear to me.

Yes, Walt Whitman. Who could miss his catalogs of inclusiveness, with their unexpected yet spot-on details?

If you had read these lines to me without disclosing their source, I’d say “Song of Myself”—because that’s the poem best known for Whitman’s catalogs. But no, this is “Poem of the Open Road.” It’s not in the first (1855) edition of Leaves of Grass . But it does appear in the 1856 edition and thereafter—soon re-titled “Song of the Open Road.” (Whitman revised and expanded Leaves of Grass throughout his life: nine editions in all. I’ll be using the 1856 version of “Song of the Open Road,” because in general Whitman’s earlier versions are more spontaneous—more, well, Whitmanesque.)

It’s a longish poem of fifty-seven sections (though nowhere near the 372 sections of “Song of Myself”).

For this post, I want to hang out with “Song of the Open Road.” I wonder why. I think because I’m moved by its all-embracing spirit, and I like where the poem takes me. And maybe because, with COVID having kept me cooped up at home for so long, I need some expansiveness. And I need a celebration of the fresh air that I can finally breathe:

You air that serves me with breath to speak!

For Whitman, of course, just “breathing” the air isn’t enough. He has to picture how the air is empowering:

I think heroic deeds were all conceived in the open air, I think I could stop here myself, and do miracles…

One of the “miracles” is to be freed from all constraints:

From this hour, freedom! From this hour I ordain myself loosed of limits and imaginary lines…

Freely out on the open road, Whitman’s poetic persona apostrophizes the road itself. As always in Whitman’s catalogs, the delight is in the details:

You flagged walks of the cities! you strong curbs at the edges!… You gray stones of interminable pavements! you trodden crossings! From all that has been near you I believe you have imparted to yourselves, and now would impart the same secretly to me, From the living and the dead I think you have peopled your impassive surfaces, and the spirits thereof would be evident and amicable with me.

This is typical of Whitman’s poetic persona: that whatever he extols he takes into himself “amicably.”

Also typical is the eventual movement from the literal road out toward the transcendent, as his subject becomes the traveling “Soul”:

“ To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for travelling Souls…

All parts away for the progress of Souls, All religion, all solid things, arts, governments—all that was or is apparent upon this globe or any globe, falls into niches and corners before the procession of Souls along the grand roads of the universe.

Those “grand roads of the universe”: to call Whitman’s persona expansive would be a colossal understatement (if that’s not an oxymoron). There’s evidently nothing and no one that he won’t exuberantly embrace:

Committers of crimes, committers of many beautiful virtues,… Habitues of many different countries, habitues of far-distant dwellings,…

Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied, Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men, They go! They go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go, But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.

They go! As you’ve no doubt noted, traveling the open road releases, for Whitman, a spray of exclamation points. (I count sixty-three total in the poem.) Then about halfway through the poem, the exclamation point itself starts acting as a euphoric embrace of the reader, with sections beginning “Allons!” (“Let’s go!” “Come along!”). And with that invitation, the pronouns you-we-us join the poem’s previous I-me :

Allons! Whoever you are, come travel with me! Traveling with me, you find what never tires.

The “Allons!” invitation is cried out repeatedly through the rest of the poem, which ends with what I hear as a climatic clashing of cymbals in this final, wildly fun catalog—of what the open road calls us to leave behind:

Allons! Be not detained! Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopened! Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearned! Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher! Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.

And then the final verse: Mon enfant! I give you my hand! I give you my love, more precious than money,

I give you myself, before preaching or law; Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me? Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

My coda: Actually, I’d say that we stick by Whitman long after he lived. Through his poems like this one.

Peggy Rosenthal has a PhD in English Literature. Her first published book was Words and Values , a close reading of popular language. Since then she has published widely on the spirituality of poetry, in periodicals such as America , The Christian Century , and Image , and in books that can be found here .

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Poem Appreciation: Song Of The Open Road

Writing an appreciation of Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” requires a deep dive into the poem’s thematic essence, its stylistic features, and the emotional resonance it holds. The poem is an embodiment of freedom, a reflection on life’s journey, and a celebration of the individual’s quest for meaning. To craft a comprehensive appreciation, one must consider several critical aspects that make the poem stand out as a seminal work in American literature.

Table of Contents

Understanding Thematic Elements

“Song of the Open Road” is rich in themes that are both personal and universal. Freedom, adventure, individualism, and democracy are just a few of the poem’s central ideas. An appreciation should consider how Whitman explores these themes and their relevance to the reader’s life. The open road as a metaphor for life’s journey suggests that the path to self-discovery is open and accessible to all.

Analyzing Stylistic Features

Whitman’s use of free verse is revolutionary and reflects the poem’s core message of liberation. Unlike the structured verse of his contemporaries, Whitman’s poem flows freely, mirroring the unrestricted nature of the open road. Appreciating this poem involves acknowledging how the form complements the content—how the sprawling lines and the lack of rhyme scheme invite the reader into an experience free from traditional constraints.

Exploring the Poet’s Language

Whitman’s language is direct, robust, and inclusive. His use of repetition and anaphora, particularly in the opening lines, creates a rhythm that echoes the movement of traveling. In your appreciation, explore the impact of these poetic devices and how they contribute to the poem’s immersive quality. The language should be seen as a conduit that transports the reader alongside Whitman on his journey.

Imagery and Sensory Experience

Whitman’s vivid imagery and sensory language are pivotal to the poem’s effectiveness. He doesn’t just tell the reader about the open road; he shows it through evocative descriptions of the landscape, the sky, and the sounds and scents of nature. An appreciation should delve into how these images create a multisensory experience and how they enhance the poem’s appeal.

Philosophical and Reflective Undertones

The poem goes beyond a mere celebration of travel; it is a philosophical reflection on life and the interconnectedness of humanity. Whitman’s democratic vision, where every individual’s journey is valued, is a profound aspect that merits attention. Discuss how “Song of the Open Road” challenges readers to consider their place in the world and their relationship with others.

Connecting with the Reader

A significant aspect of the poem is its ability to connect with readers across time and space. Whitishman’s inclusive language and universal themes speak directly to the reader, creating a sense of camaraderie. Your appreciation should consider the poem’s emotive power and its capacity to inspire a sense of adventure and longing for freedom.

Historical and Cultural Context

Understanding the historical and cultural context in which Whitman wrote can add depth to an appreciation. The poem was published in the mid-19th century, a time of great change and optimism in America. Consider how the spirit of the era—the expansion westward and the belief in the American Dream—influences the poem’s tone and message.

Personal Reflection

Lastly, an appreciation is a personal response to the poem. Reflect on how “Song of the Open Road” resonates with you. What emotions does it evoke? How does it inspire you to think about your own life’s journey? Incorporate your personal engagement with the poem to give your appreciation a unique and authentic voice.

In concluding your appreciation, summarize the poem’s enduring impact. Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” is an invitation to embrace life’s journey with all its uncertainties and delights. It is a timeless piece that encourages the reader to seek out their path, to find joy in the journey itself, and to recognize the intrinsic freedom that lies within the open road and within themselves.

Song of the Open Road Appreciation Example

“Song of the Open Road”, a poem by Walt Whitman, is an iconic piece that encapsulates the essence of freedom, individuality, and the journey of life. Whitman, renowned for his contributions to American literature and his unorthodox style in the canon of poetry, presents a piece that resonates with the spirit of adventure and the quest for self-discovery. This appreciation seeks to explore the profound themes, stylistic devices, and emotive power of “Song of the Open Road” and its celebration of the vast, unfolding paths of possibility.

Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” emerges from the pages of “Leaves of Grass”, his seminal work, and stands as a resonant call for liberation from societal constraints and an embrace of the boundless opportunities that life offers. The poem is an ode to the journey more than the destination, a theme that is quintessentially American in its valorization of the frontier and the belief in progress and self-reliance.

At the heart of the poem is the theme of freedom—freedom not only in the physical sense of exploring the open road but also in the psychological sense of casting off the shackles of societal expectations and norms. Whitman invites readers to join him on a journey that promises liberation and self-exploration. His invitation is not just to travel physically but to embark on a path of personal growth and transformation.

The “open road” is a powerful symbol in Whitman’s poem, representing the uncharted territory of one’s future and the myriad paths one can choose in life. It stands as a metaphor for personal autonomy and the existential journey each individual must undertake. The allure of the open road lies in its uncertainty and the promise of adventure, themes Whitman masterfully weaves into the fabric of the poem.

Whitman’s stylistic choices in “Song of the Open Road” are as important as its thematic content. His use of free verse is revolutionary, breaking away from the strict metrical patterns and rhyme schemes that dominated poetry of the time. This stylistic liberation mirrors the content of the poem itself, emphasizing the freedom that the open road symbolizes. The poem’s structure is sprawling and open-ended, with varying line lengths and a conversational tone that invites the reader into an intimate exchange.

The language of the poem is another aspect that deserves appreciation. Whitman employs a direct and robust diction that is at once commanding and inviting. His repetitive use of the first person creates a sense of solidarity with the reader, while the anaphora of “Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road…” reinforces the exhilarating rhythm of the journey. The poet’s language is imbued with a sense of optimism and potential, qualities that are infectious and inspiring.

Whitman also makes use of vivid imagery and sensory language to draw the reader into the experience of the open road. His descriptions of the landscape, the sky, and the scents and sounds of the environment serve to immerse the reader in the sensory richness of the journey. The poem becomes not just a reading experience but a vicarious voyage through Whitishman’s America, with its diverse people and sprawling vistas.

The poem’s philosophical undertones add depth to its celebratory tone. Whitman explores the interconnectedness of all individuals and the universal journey of life. He champions the idea that each person is part of a larger whole and that the open road is a shared experience, a common ground where all walks of life converge. This democratic vision reflects Whitman’s belief in equality and his hope for a society where all individuals are free to pursue their own paths.

In conclusion, Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” is a rich and evocative poem that speaks to the universal human desire for freedom and adventure. Its thematic depth, coupled with Whitman’s innovative style and use of language, makes it a work that continues to inspire and resonate with readers today. As an appreciation of the poem, it is clear that “Song of the Open Road” is not just a celebration of travel and exploration but a profound meditation on life, individuality, and the pursuit of happiness. It is a testament to the enduring power of poetry to encapsulate the human spirit and its eternal yearning for unfettered existence.

Final Thoughts

Crafting an appreciation of “Song of the Open Road” is an exercise in understanding Whitman’s vision and translating that understanding into a thoughtful and emotive response. By exploring the poem’s themes, style, imagery, and philosophical underpinnings, you not only delve into Whitman’s world but also invite others to join you on the open road of poetic discovery.

About Mr. Greg

Mr. Greg is an English teacher from Edinburgh, Scotland, currently based in Hong Kong. He has over 5 years teaching experience and recently completed his PGCE at the University of Essex Online. In 2013, he graduated from Edinburgh Napier University with a BEng(Hons) in Computing, with a focus on social media.

Mr. Greg’s English Cloud was created in 2020 during the pandemic, aiming to provide students and parents with resources to help facilitate their learning at home.

Whatsapp: +85259609792

[email protected]

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American Freedom Sinclair Lewis and the Open Road

By Steven Michels

Some three decades before Kerouac and friends hit the road, Sinclair Lewis published Free Air , one of the very first novels about an automobile-powered road trip across the United States. Steven Michels looks at the particular vision of freedom espoused in the tale, one echoed throughout Lewis' oeuvre.

March 22, 2017

Sinclair Lewis at the wheel of his automobile, ca. 1920s — Source .

Sinclair Lewis is experiencing a renaissance of late — but not for a reason he would have liked. His 1935 novel, It Can’t Happen Here , depicts an authoritarian American president, whose rise and rhetoric very much resemble the current commander in chief.

Criticized at the time for making American fascism sound too European, Lewis’ prescience is remarkable. Eschewing the conservative fear of moral and cultural relativism, the libertarian fear of a regulatory state, and the progressive fear of economic elites and corporations, Lewis follows Plato in pointing to democracy itself as the cause for the slide to tyranny. It Can’t Happen Here , like The Republic , shows how someone elected to satisfy the severe passions of the mass can quickly run afoul of legal norms and institutions.

Lewis’ most affirmative vision of what he means by freedom is found in his novel Free Air , which was serialized in the Saturday Evening Post in the spring of 1919, the year before Main Street and Babbitt made him a household name. Free Air is the story of two young people, Milt and Claire. Milt is a small-town mechanic and garage owner, and Claire is from Long Island and in the middle of a coast-to-coast trip to Seattle with her father. Like many Northeasterners, Claire believes that the rest of the country is filled with folks who are good but simple. Milt knows better. He had been plotting an escape from its dreary doldrums, but is enthralled with Claire when she comes through town, and he ends up following her and her father on their journey west. Claire quickly falls for the heartiness of the outdoors, even though she sees Milt more like a brother than a romantic partner. “There is an America!” Claire cheers by her tent, after she and Milt forgo her usual hotel. “I’m glad I’ve found it!”

Cover illustration for Free Air (1919) — Source .

Once they get to their destination, however, they discover that everyone is obsessed with “the View” and ranks houses accordingly. What’s worse is that everyone builds and buys from the assumption that houses ought to resemble the East Coast as much as possible. Milt and Claire were looking for something unique and interesting, but instead find a stale sameness and imitation. The book ends with the couple heading back on an open-ended road trip. It might be, Lewis suggests, the only place where they are unburdened by society and its conventions enough to be together.

Free Air is not kind to the petty and conniving rural dwellers, but Lewis’ most devastating take on small-town life appears in Main Street . Lewis, a product of Sauk Centre, Minnesota, rails against the idea that these remote burgs are the source of all that is good. Rather, they infect their residents with “the village virus”, symptomized by a firm ignorance, self-satisfaction, and general intolerance of anyone who doesn’t look or think like they do. Will Kennicott loves weekend driving, but he never gets too far out of town. All the roads he takes lead him back to Gopher Prairie.

Picture of Sinclair Lewis at the wheel, published in The World’s Work (1921) in a piece celebrating the bestseller success of Main Street — Source .

That’s not to say that Lewis touts cities as unqualifiedly good. What is gained by their cosmopolitan sensibility, culture, and good food is lost in a lack of intimacy and familiarity. There is a reason Claire and her exhausted father had left the East Coast. It’s easy and hard in different ways. “We need to know men like that in this pink-frosting playing at living we have in the cities”, she says to an aristocratic suitor, in defense of Milt’s working-class father. The Innocents , the novel Lewis wrote before Free Air , follows the long-married Applebys as they leave New York City to open a tea room in the quiet country. It’s a rare soul that can reside in a city and not be corrupted by it.

This is not just about travel; for Lewis, it is about positive freedom and control. He never presents train travel as especially desirable, constrained as it is to tracks, and his early love of planes is directed at those who can fly them. Americans are rightful captains and pilots, not passengers or spectators. He would have agreed with Thomas Wolfe, who, in You Can’t Go Home Again , posited: “Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America — that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement.” It is only when Wolfe’s protagonist George Webber arrives at a destination, that he feels a sense of homelessness. The expansive country and its prairie makes motion the most natural and comfortable condition.

Automobile straddling railroad tracks during a race between New York and San Francisco in 1908 — Source .

Business travel provides both an opportunity and a threat. On the one hand, people who travel for work go through small towns and bring with them information and a perspective about the world outside. Milt is much improved by his time with them. Yet as “missionaries of business”, theirs is a hollow gospel. Business also provides opportunities for independence. Una Golden, Lewis’ protagonist in The Job , moves from a small town in Pennsylvania to New York and uses her business acumen to make a decent life for herself, which for a woman at the time was no small feat. Yet George F. Babbitt and his clique travel to cheat on their wives and expand their bourgeois lifestyle.

Lewis loves America for its individualist philosophy and its pioneer spirit. For him, progress is more about exploring than putting down roots and putting up buildings. Growth is a matter of psychology, not economics. The eponymous anti-hero of Our Mr. Wrenn has to go off to Europe to gain some perspective on his workaday routine. “Adventure, like fear of adventure, consisted in going one step at a time, keeping at it, forming the habit . . . ” Lewis instructs. He operates from a grand and romantic vision of what our expansive territory has made possible, and he worries that we have squandered too much of our good fortune.

Lewis lived his nomadic philosophy — moving from Minnesota to New Haven for school, through New York City, D.C., and with stints in Europe, never in one location for very long and often returning to the same place. “It’s always easier to be a bold adventurer in some town other than the one in which you are”, Lewis writes in The Innocents . His perception of and even his fondness for his native land grew during the time he lived in Europe. “No American, if he can help it, dies in his birthplace”, he wrote. Of course, that did not prevent him from being buried in his hometown.

Sinclair Lewis’ boyhood home, the family posing on the porch, ca. 1900. “Harry Sinclair” (his full name) is sat far right — Source .

Among Lewis’ gifts are his willingness to probe the essential tension at the heart of American moral and social life. It’s a land of boundless opportunity and fierce competition; it’s also a land of individualism that too easily bends toward conformity. Who else could have said: “Intellectually I know that America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country”? Lewis understands both sides of American exceptionalism. How much better would the country be if it had more of that kind of patriotism.

In some respects, Lewis’ extreme form of freedom could be said to resemble what you find in Rousseau’s “state of nature”, where individuals are untethered by property or people. But Lewis never advocated solitude and he was too much a fan of progress. Two of his early books, Hike and the Aeroplane and The Trail of the Hawk , take the new technology of aviation as their themes. Lewis saw air travel as a modern form of daring, and he held out great hope for what it could do for the American psyche.

There are, however, some interesting parallels between Lewis and the road’s other great prophet, Jack Kerouac. Lewis would certainly approve of Kerouac’s discipline and stream-of-consciousness method. Kerouac is said to have written On the Road in three weeks on a 1200-foot scroll of teletype paper. Lewis, after doing his research, could write 3000-5000 words a day.

For Lewis, however, writing was more about self-improvement than self-expression. He wanted a kind of noble and pioneering freedom and would judge other modes accordingly. He would see Kerouac as a hedonist. Nor did Lewis tout the virtues of alcohol or drugs. He reflects on “the torture of being bored by the two-frequent presence of his own self”, in Cass Timberlane, one of Lewis’ more mature characters. It was the reason Lewis drank, even though he recognized it as a temporary cure. He was, by many accounts, a problem drinker. Self-doubt is a prerequisite for improvement, but it too has its risks. Sometimes the greatest obstacles to freedom are not other people, but ourselves.

Sinclair Lewis by the sea, ca. 1920s — Source .

Most importantly, Lewis’ moralism was utterly conventional. Although one of the more prominent subtexts of his novels is the extent to which moralists are all hypocrites, he is equally bothered by anyone who operates without a compass of any kind. For instance, there is a rawness and physicality in Kerouac that Lewis would likely have found off-putting. Kerouac’s sex scenes are tame by today’s standards, but they were risqué enough at the time to have been edited by his publisher. Lewis’ sex scenes are ridiculous. Sometimes it’s not even clear what has happened — what might be called coitus obscurus .

Lewis’ greatest gifts as a novelist were his abilities of perception and mimicry. For the first part of his life, Lewis wanted to be in theater and would regularly delight others with his character portraits and impressions. As a political writer, his greatest asset was his ability to present what he observed without the filter of his own ideology. He was not an activist and not terribly political. It didn’t exactly make him a great citizen, but it made a superior novelist. He had a reporter’s sensibilities, which is why he made a newspaper man, Doremus Jessup, the protagonist of It Can’t Happen Here , his most political novel.

It’s not a stretch to say that he is among the best writers on democratic freedom. More than anyone, Lewis understands its aims and its limitations for both individuals and the country. For him, freedom is playful but serious, directionless but purposeful, and essential to knowing true happiness. Lewis sees that kind of freedom as America’s greatest virtue and best export. It would be tragic if we were to somehow lose it.

Public Domain Works

• Internet Archive
• Internet Archive 1906 English edition
• Internet Archive 1761 English edition

Further Reading

A cautionary tale about the fragility of democracy, it is an alarming, eerily timeless look at how fascism could take hold in America.

An examination of each of Lewis’s novels on key themes in the history of political thought and democracy including freedom and purpose, success and materialism, and nationalism and race.

The Public Domain Review receives a small percentage commission from sales made via the links to Bookshop.org (10%) and Amazon (4.5%). Thanks for supporting the project! For more recommended books, see all our “ Further Reading ” books, and browse our dedicated Bookshop.org stores for US and UK readers.

Indexed under…

• Freedom and the open road
• Vehicles and freedom

Steven Michels is professor of political science at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, CT and the author of Sinclair Lewis and American Democracy . Visit his personal website or follow him on Twitter .

The text of this essay is published under a CC BY-SA license, see here for details.

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Leaves of Grass

by Walt Whitman

Leaves of grass summary and analysis of "calamus," "song of the open road," and "crossing brooklyn ferry".

Whitman begins “Calamus” in September, 1859, alone in the woods, away from all of the “pleasures, / profits, conformities” of his life. It is in this place that he can reflect on his inner self. This is a truer self than the one of the ordinary world. He resolves to “sing no songs to-day but those of manly / attachment….” It is a celebration of his own “need of comrades.” This time is also a time of reflection on the end of life. In “Scented Herbage of My Breast” he ponders leaves that grow above him. They are leaves of death and they are bitter, but this does not mean that death is not beautiful. Whitman says, “Death or life I am then indifferent, my soul declines to prefer….” Death is beautiful when a man does not live his life in service to it. Instead, Whitman is decisive in his wish to “make death / exhilarating” for his comrades and fellow travelers.

In “For You O Democracy,” Whitman makes the connection between America, the “continent indissoluble” and the friendship of which he sings. His goal is to create companionship in all of America. Cities will be filled with men bonded together in “manly love.” As he wanders through the woods, Whitman can feel the spirits of his former friends beside him. Some embrace him while others stand around him. Whitman begins to pick up “tokens” of nature around him: a lilac, a pine branch, “some moss…pull’d off a live- / oak in Florida as it hung trailing down,” some laurel leaves and some water from the pond. Whitman says that these are held near to him “by a thick cloud of spirits….” In “Of the Terrible Doubt of Appearances,” Whitman speaks not of spirits but of real people, lovers with whom he travels. They hold his hand and sit with him and there is a sense “that words and / reason hold not….” Whitman gains his wisdom from these moments and from this love. The questions of life and death fade away.

In “The Base of All Metaphysics,” Whitman attempts to give a philosophical answer to the ideas of love and companionship that he writes about here. He imagines a college course, taught by a professor. The class studies all of the great philosophers of the world from Socrates to Christ to Hegel. All of these philosophies, Whitman says, are undergirded by “The dear love of man for his comrade, the attraction of friend / to friend….” Whitman hopes that it is this kind of “measureless….love” within him that will be the thing he is remembered for. He calls on his future biographers and recorders of history to note not his “songs” but his love for his friends.

It is only this love that can make Whitman happy. “When I Heard at the Close of the Day” is a reflection on this happiness. Whitman recalls the time he was honored in the capitol and a time when he “carous’d” and when his “plans were / accomplish’d,” yet he says still he is not happy. He is happy when he is in nature, rising with the sun, bathing in the ocean, and thinking of his dear friend, his lover, and how he is on his way over to see him. Whitman says that he is only happy when his arm is around his friend, when they lay together sleeping “In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams….”

Whitman sings a song for his beloved New York in “City of Orgies.” Manhattan is a city of “walks and joys” and Whitman sings his songs within the city and about it. What makes the city “illustrious” is not its buildings, homes, streets, or commerce. It is, instead, the love that the inhabitants of the city have for Whitman and the love that he shares with them. He sings of one particular New Yorker in “Behold This Swarthy Face,” who comes up and kisses him “lightly on the lips with robust love….” This is an act of robust love and this is a love that is saluted all over America. In “To a Stranger,” Whitman observes someone walking down the street and thinks that he must have known this person in some other time. This person gives him pleasure even though he does not know him. He is sure that he will meet this stranger again and that he will not lose this person again.

In a quiet moment, sitting alone, Whitman thinks of all the other men in the world sitting alone, “yearning and thoughtful.” Whitman believes that if he could only know these men, he would become as “attached to them as I do to men in my own lands….” He yearns to be brothers with these men; to be happy with them. Whitman then responds to those that charge him with seeking “to destroy / institutions.” He says that this is not his goal. Instead, he seeks to build up the institution of manly love in all the cities of the nation. Whitman says he does not envy important men – generals or the President or any rich or powerful person. Instead, he envies the “brotherhood of lovers” and those that maintain manly love throughout their lives.

Whitman makes “A Promise to California.” He tells California that he will soon go West because he knows that “I and robust love belong among you.” First, however, he rejoices in his love of “a youth who loves me and whom I love.” This youth comes to him in a crowded bar-room and holds his hand at a table. While others drink and swear, Whitman and his love speak little, “perhaps not a word” and enjoy being in silence with each other. He is not only smitten with this youth, however, but with all of the people of the nation. He longs to “infuse” himself amongst the workers and the blue-collar people of the land. In a dream, Whitman sees a “new city of Friends,” a place not of this earth. In this city, nothing is greater than equality and love.

In “To the East and to the West,” Whitman proclaims, “I believe the main purport of these States is to found a superb / friendship, exalte” that is unknown in any other time or place. While in “Among the Multitude,” Whitman says he can feel one “picking me out by secret and divine signs.” This person knows him and is his lover, his “perfect equal.” For his own part, he feels a “subtle electric fire” when he is near this lover. Whitman ends “Calamus” by claiming he is “Full of Life Now.” He speaks to past and future generations who will read these words and wish they could be his lover and tells them that through these words they can be certain that he is with them.

“Song of the Open Road” is Whitman’s celebration of travel. He takes to the road “A foot and light hearted…Healthy, free, the world before me….” He is free to choose where he goes. Whitman feels as though he embodies his own journey. He is good fortune and does not need to ask for it. “Strong and content I travel the open road.” He proclaims that the world around him – the earth and the constellations – come with him yet they do not have to support him.

To travel is to be free above all. Whitman “ordains” himself “loos’d of limits and imaginary lines….” He is, in the most real sense, master of his domain. He claims that he will listen to others, hear their words, but in the end he is divested “of the holds that would hold me.” Whitman even amazes himself. “I am larger, better than I thought / I did not know I held so much goodness.” Whitman seeks to give this goodness back to the world since the men and women of the world have done good to him while on his journey. Whitman proclaims that he will “scatter” himself amongst all people as if he were seed. If someone should deny him, he will not be troubled. If they accept him, and bless him, Whitman will reciprocate the reception and the blessing.

Whitman also has words of encouragement for his fellow travelers. He understands the journey, oftentimes, is difficult. “The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first….” He tells the traveler to “Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop’d….” He asks his fellow reader and traveler not to be convinced of this by “arguments, similes, rhymes” but to be convinced simply by Whitman’s own presence. Whitman assures his companion that all things of humankind – governments, religions, institutions - fall “into niches and corners before the procession of souls along the grand road.” The journey is always towards “something great.”

In “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry,” Whitman takes on the stance of observer. Around him, he sees “Crowds of men and women attired in the usual costumes” and they are “curious” to him. They are on the hundreds and hundreds of ferry boats that cross between Brooklyn and Manhattan. Whitman sees all of them, and himself, as “disintegrated yet part of the scheme….” He sees that others will follow him, others will watch these people and these boats cross, fifty or even a hundred years, they will “enjoy the sunset, the pouring-in of the flood-tide, the / falling-back to the sea of the ebb-tide.”

Whitman tells the “many generations hence” that he is with them. “Just as any of you is one of a living crowd, I was one of a crowd.” These future generations can trust that their experiences are the same as his own. Their observations of the beauty of the natural world around them are the same as his own. He wants these future people to know that he loved the cities, the rivers, and all the men and women that crossed between them. Whitman asks what it is between he and the future generations. “Whatever it is, it avails not – distance avails not, and place / avails not….” The “abrupt” questions that these future people feel, he also felt them. Whitman exhorts the river to “Flow on! Flow with the flood-tide,” and for the “masts of Mannahatta” to “Stand up, tall….” He asks the reader to consider that he himself might be looking back in some “unknown / ways….”

The sexual nature of Leaves of Grass was fodder for great controversy during Whitman’s own life. Several high profile critics, including Ralph Waldo Emerson, found these themes less than desirable in the book. Whitman lost his government job in 1865 because his boss read his work and dismissed him for indecency. Through all of this, however, Whitman maintained that sexuality was vital to his own work precisely because it is a vital characteristic of the human experience. Sexuality was not just an individual experience between two people according to Whitman; it was a foundational experience for how society is woven together.

“Calamus” is a reflection on male friendship and relationship. The name “Calamus” refers to an ancient Greek myth -- Calamus was a man who grieved for his young male lover and turned into a reed. That Whitman sees this friendship in erotic terms only shows the multiplicity of ways in Whitman understood true relationship. While much has been made of Whitman’s use of homosexual imagery, a sexual viewpoint that was not widely talked of nor published during Whitman’s day, the reader cannot overlook the fact that in previous sections, including “Song of Myself,” Whitman makes use of autoerotic and heterosexual imagery as well. This is what scholars have noted as Whitman’s omnisexual viewpoint. No one sexual preference is complete for Whitman. Sexuality must include preference for the individual, for the different, and for the same.

The first poems of “Calamus” see Whitman reevaluating some of the themes from previous sections, especially his understanding of the natural world. If the child’s poem from “Song of Myself,” in which the child brings a handful of grass to Whitman in order to ask what it is, is instructive of Whitman’s understanding of humanity’s relationship with the natural world, than “Calamus” represents a break with that understanding. Whitman begins in nature, observing the trees and the leaves around him, yet he does not feel a part of it. There is death and life in those leaves, he understands, but this does not seem to be as vital to him as it did before. Instead, he is infused with the desire for friendship. This is also a reevaluation of the Romantic spirit in American literature. While previous poets and writers, taking cues from their European forebears, found a true spirituality in the mysteries of nature, Whitman finds that he cannot find the true self in nature alone. Truth is only to be found in the bonding of men.

Whitman’s historical context is also important for understanding this section of the book. This is one of the only poems in the book in which Whitman gives a specific date for reference, 1859. It is notable that this is the same year that Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species was published. As the classic text on the theory of evolution, Darwin’s book is considered to be revolutionary in the fields of biological science. The theories that Darwin put in print, however, were already widely discussed in intellectual circles of Whitman’s day. In science and psychology (whose original manifestation was phrenology, a discipline which Whitman studied), there was a growing understanding that sexuality was a trigger for all biological actions and interior feelings.

Whitman sought to take this understanding from the scientific disciplines and make it relevant to the philosophical and literary disciplines. This is the best reading of “The Base of All Metaphysics.” Whitman’s reading of the great philosophers and religious leaders is not materialist in any way. Instead, Whitman understands the basis of all life as the interwoven relationships between people. His own songs are but manifestations of this love between friends. This love is manifested in “When I Heard at the Close of the Day.” This is a poem of consummated love between Whitman and his male friend. Through this act of sexual consummation, both also are consummated with nature suggesting that the relationship between men that Whitman experiences is the root of an equilibrium between all natural things.

The reader, however, cannot only read “Calamus” as an expression of carnal lust and base desire. The ending gives a correction to any who might do so. The last poems of the section take on a social dimension. While the first poems exemplified a deep and personal love, Whitman equates this personal, sexual love with the social love that he shares for all people. He thinks of all the men that he could be friends with and decides that he is united with them. He promises California that he will come and visit and envisions being united with all the working men and women of land. By the end of “Calamus,” the reader understands that the sexual impulse is, in reality, a democratic impulse.

In “Song of the Open Road,” Whitman moves from an individual perspective to what we today might consider a global perspective. This is a broadening of his subject from previous poems. While Whitman has claimed in previous verse to be singing a song of America, in Song of the Open Road he shows that all people of the earth are in his purview and that his teachings can be understood beyond the democratic states. While the United States has been built as a country on the concept of freedom, Whitman wants his readers to understand that there is a strong urge of the individual that is present within the concept of freedom. Whitman cannot be tied down to the difficulties of the earth, to institutions or rules. To be free means that one loses the constraints of these old things and Whitman offers himself as the best example. His imagery of scattering seed is a metaphor for planting and for impregnating the imagination with his teachings.

If “Song of the Open Road” is a an ode to individuality, “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry” is Whitman’s expression par excellence of the collective. “Brooklyn Ferry” features two characters – Whitman and You, the reader. The poem begins descriptively but, by the end of the first section, has introduced a conversational tone between Whitman and the reader. There is a personal dimension to the conversation and the setting seems to be more private than in previous poems addressed to a wide audience. Whitman balances an understanding of the reader as a close and personal friend, the kind of erotic relationship he described in “Calamus,” yet also a friend spread across time and space.

A central meaning to the poem is elusive except to say that, in watching the crowds cross Brooklyn’s river, Whitman is reminded of the fact that all things he experiences have been and will be experienced by all others. Whitman uses images of the world – rivers and suns, crowds and individuals – all as part of a larger “scheme.” These things have been placed within the poet and he understands that they will also be placed inside of the reader. In this way, Whitman knows that he has gained a spiritual unity with the world and with those that came before and will come after. This theme was important to many of the New England Transcendentalist writers and poets of the nineteenth century. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous essay Nature is, perhaps, the best example. Where Emerson sought to find a divine, unifying spirit in the natural world, however, Whitman finds it in the crowds of New York.

Leaves of Grass Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for Leaves of Grass is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

In Walt Whitman's "From Song of Myself," what parts of the poem show the use of metaphor? Cite examples from the poem.

Whitman uses the metaphor of grass in the sixth section of “Songs of Myself” to try and explain the democratic self. His explanation, he admits, is incomplete. Whitman describes a child coming to him and asking him what is the grass. He has no...

Whitman first began writing Leaves of Grass after failed attempts at newspaper publishing and teaching.

what is the image of woman in leaves of the grass?

Which particular poem are you referring to?

Study Guide for Leaves of Grass

Leaves of Grass study guide contains a biography of Walt Whitman, literature essays, a complete e-text, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

• About Leaves of Grass
• Leaves of Grass Summary
• Character List

Essays for Leaves of Grass

Leaves of Grass essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.

• Reconciling Disparate Objects in "Leaves of Grass"
• The Thrust of Nature: An Examination of Walt Whitman's Poetic Realm
• Philosophical Parallels in Plato's Meno and the 1855 Leaves of Grass
• Homoeroticism in Leaves of Grass
• Walt Whitman: The Center of the American Literary Canon

Lesson Plan for Leaves of Grass

• About the Author
• Study Objectives
• Common Core Standards
• Introduction to Leaves of Grass
• Relationship to Other Books
• Bringing in Technology
• Notes to the Teacher
• Related Links
• Leaves of Grass Bibliography

E-Text of Leaves of Grass

Leaves of Grass e-text contains the full text of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman.

• Introduction
• Book I: Inscriptions
• Book II: Starting from Paumanok
• Book III: Song of Myself
• Book IV: Children of Adam

Wikipedia Entries for Leaves of Grass

• Publication history and origin
• Critical response and controversy

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UPDATE: Teton Pass has reopened; road damage patched by crews

Andrea Olson, EastIdahoNews.com

Teton Pass opened as of 2:10 p.m. Thursday, according to the Wyoming Department of Transportation.

The road (Wyoming State Highway 22) was closed earlier in the day due to road damage. Maintenance crews have temporarily patched the area to allow traffic, but the area continues to be under observation until a more permanent solution can be implemented, WYDOT said.

Drivers are asked to use caution in the area.

ORIGINAL STORY

JACKSON, Wyoming — The Wyoming Department of Transportation has closed Teton Pass due to a large crack in the road, causing unsafe driving conditions.

The road damage announcement came on Thursday just before noon. According to Idaho 511, State Highway 33, eastbound near the Idaho-Wyoming line, is closed. 

Transportation crews were told that the road had faulted, and a crack was seen in both lanes of travel, according to a social media post. The crack “dropped vertically,” about 8 inches in some places. 

Maintenance crews are working to create a temporary patch. WYDOT’s geology department will investigate the cause.

There is no estimated time of reopening.

Click here for the latest road conditions and updates in Idaho, and here for road conditions in Wyoming. 

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Essay on Road Safety

500 words essay on road safety.

In today’s fast-paced world, road accidents are happening at a very high rate. Although, the technological advancements in the automobile industry has thankfully brought down the mortality rates. Nonetheless, there are a lot of potential hazards that are present on the road. Thus, road safety is important to safeguard everyone. In this essay on road safety, we will learn its importance and its basic rules.

Importance of Essay on Road Safety

Road safety is important to safeguard the well-being of everyone including humans and other living beings. This essay on road safety will help us learn about why it is important. A lot of environmental factors determine our road safety.

For instance, if it is raining or there is heavy fog or smog, the visibility of the driver will be hampered. It may result in pile-ups on the highway. Similarly, there are other factors like rain that lead to hydroplaning.

In this phenomenon, the vehicles that travel at high speeds start to slide uncontrollably as the tires of the vehicle push off the ground through a thin film of water present on the road.

However, road safety rules can help us avoid all these dangerous situations easily. When people follow the road safety rules rigorously and maintain their vehicles well, everyone can remain safe.

Most importantly, it is also essential to drive within the prescribed speed limits. Also, one must not use their mobile phone when driving a vehicle. Road safety is of utmost importance to make sure that everyone remains safe and healthy.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Basic Rules of Road Safety

There are a lot of general and basic rules that one must follow when they drive vehicles or use public roads in general. The first rule is to know the signals and pay attention to them rigorously.

This applies to both the driver as well as the pedestrian. Further, it is important for those who are walking to use the sidewalks and pedestrian crossings. It is also essential to be aware of all the rules and laws of the state and abide by them.

Most importantly, it is also mandatory to have an approved driving license before getting on the road with your vehicle. Road safety sensitization is vital to ensure the safety of everyone.

Making the general public aware of the importance of road safety can help reduce the rate of accidents and road mishaps that happen on a daily basis. Seminars and educating people can be helpful to guide them and make them aware of the consequences.

Conclusion of Essay on Road Safety

To sum it up, everyone must follow the road rules. Do not drive at excessive speed and try to enhance the general awareness so risks of traffic accidents can be reduced. One must also check the vehicle health regularly and its maintenance parts to eliminate any potential risks.

FAQ on Essay on Road Safety

Question 1: What is road safety?

Answer 1: Road safety refers to the methods that we adopt to prevent road users from getting injuries or being killed in traffic accidents. They are essential to maintain everyone’s well being.

Question 2: How can one avoid traffic accidents and enhance road safety?

Answer 2: One can avoid traffic accidents by following the road rules strictly. Moreover, they must also make sure their vehicles are always well-maintained. Further, it is also vital to drive within the speed limits of the state. Do not use phones when driving or be under the influence of alcohol.

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Mayor of Waupun says prison should stay open despite issues

WAUPUN, Wis. (WBAY) - Following a sweeping investigation that resulted in criminal charges filed against a prison warden and other prison employees, many have called for Waupun Correctional Institution to be shut down.

But not the Mayor of Waupun.

Department of Correction employees at Wisconsin’s oldest maximum-security prison were arrested earlier this week, including the warden. The Dodge County Sheriff’s Office announced the investigation this week.

During the press conference Wednesday, the sheriff also brought up problems at Green Bay Correctional Institution, renewing a call to shut down both prisons.

However, Waupun Mayor Rohn W. Bishop disagrees, saying in a public column that authorities are “not going to close Waupun Correctional without a fight.”

“For 175 years, Waupun has helped keep Wisconsnites safe by housing those who’ve committed bad crimes,” the mayor wrote. “Waupun is Wisconsin’s oldest prison and Waupun inmates helped to build the Green Bay Prison. Every license plate in Wisconsin is made right here in Waupun and we’re really proud of that.”

“Folks in Green Bay want to close their prison because it’s prime real estate for development, but to make their case, they keep bashing Waupun. And I’ve had it with that! Waupun’s prison means more to us than Green Bay’s means to them. They seem to think they can kick us around and it’s ticked me off! Waupun may be an easy target because we’re a small city, but we’re a great one too! Waupun is Wisconsin’s Sculpture City, we’re America’s Rivet City, we have delicious water, and we still are, and always will be, Wisconsin’s Prison City. As your mayor, they’re not going to close Waupun Correctional without a fight,” the mayor wrote.

Action 2 News also spoke with Mayor Bishop about the column.

“It means so much to our city and our history. What I would say is the prison needs some updates and remodeling but to close it is an overreaction and it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s a simple cop-out for elected officials and bureaucrats in Madison who don’t want to take responsibility for their failures,” he said.

The arrests of nine Department of Corrections employees, including a warden, is opening up a wider discussion on Wisconsin’s aging prisons.

The Dodge County Sheriff’s Office announced this week the investigation at Waupun Correctional Institution over the deaths of two prisoners.

Dodge County Sheriff Dale Schmidt says the failures documented at Waupun are not isolated to one facility. During his press conference on Wednesday, he also brought up problems at Green Bay Correctional Institution and renewed a call to shut down both prisons.

“We are operating the oldest prison in Wisconsin in a dangerous and reckless manner,” the sheriff said Wednesday.

Sheriff Schmidt says Waupun Correctional Institution and Green Bay’s Correctional Institution, two of Wisconsin’s maximum security prisons, share similar issues within their walls.

“They were investigated in Brown County. No criminal charges were filed in those incidents although we have similar issues that occurred during those incidents. A stern warning issued by the investigator to DOC meaning this is not isolated to one facility in the Department of Corrections,” said Sheriff Schmidt.

Sheriff Schmidt is calling on the Department of Corrections, the governor, and state leaders to consider renovating the prisons or closing them altogether.

“One prison could replace two prisons, or two renovated prisons would be better than what we have now, it will save lives and provide more humane treatment of inmates,” said the sheriff.

“The problems at Waupun weren’t caused by Warden Hepp or the good people who work there,” Mayor Bishop wrote in his column. “These problems were caused by governors who didn’t care, legislators who didn’t care, and a media who cared too much about the prisoners instead of the safety of the staff [...] Wisconsin deserves better than what we’re getting. Our inmates deserve better. Our correctional staff deserves better. Waupun deserves better.”

Copyright 2024 WBAY. All rights reserved.

Green Bay Police identify deceased woman; body found along Kepler Drive

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Mt. Olive road back open after tractor trailer overturns

MT. OLIVE, N.C. (WITN) -A road in Mount Olive is back open after being closed due to an overturned tractor trailer.

The Mt. Olive Fire Department says U.S. 117 Southbound was closed from Old Smith Chapel Road to Lees Country Club Road due to an overturned tractor trailer.

It’s not known what caused the accident, but storms were moving through the area at the time and there are reports of several trees down, including one on a house.

Copyright 2024 WITN. All rights reserved.

Major damage at Kinston Jetport from last night’s storm

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‘a mistake’ review: elizabeth banks delivers powerful turn in grim medical drama – tribeca film festival, breaking news.

Vertical Acquires Michael Angarano’s Tribeca-Bound Road Trip Comedy ‘Sacramento’

By Matt Grobar

Matt Grobar

Senior Film Reporter

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EXCLUSIVE : Ahead of its June 8 world premiere at the Tribeca Festival , the road trip buddy comedy Sacramento , directed by and starring Michael Angarano ( Oppenheimer ), has been acquired by Vertical for distribution in North America, the UK and Ireland later this year.

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Angarano penned the screenplay with Chris Smith, and they produced the film alongside Bee-Hive Productions’ Stephen Braun, the Wonder Company’s Chris Abernathy and Eric B. Fleischman, and Sam Grey. Irfan Siddiqui served as associate producer.

In a statement on the acquisition, Angarano told Deadline, “ Sacramento was a movie-making experience that was truly one of a kind. Each and every crew member believed in the movie we were making and had fun while doing it, which is all you could ever hope for as a filmmaker. It’s also a very personal film for me which is why I’m grateful to have a home like Vertical.”

Angarano noted that Vertical has established itself as “one of the great independent film distributors” and is “constantly demonstrating their willingness to champion movies like ours. We feel like we have found the perfect partner to continue this movie’s journey.”

Stated Vertical Partner Peter Jarowey, “It’s hard to imagine when Michael found time to sleep, but his incredible talent has produced a hilarious and poignant film that we can’t wait to share with audiences later this year. We’re also thrilled to continue our collaboration with Eric, Stephen, and Chris on this project and look forward to many more successful ventures together.”

Jarowey and SVP of Acquisitions Tony Piantedosi negotiated the deal on behalf of Vertical, with Verve Ventures and UTA’s Independent Film Group repping the production.

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Mitch McConnell: We Cannot Repeat the Mistakes of the 1930s

By Mitch McConnell

Mr. McConnell is the Senate minority leader.

On this day in 1944, the liberation of Western Europe began with immense sacrifice. In a tribute delivered 40 years later from a Normandy cliff, President Ronald Reagan reminded us that “the boys of Pointe du Hoc” were “heroes who helped end a war.” That last detail is worth some reflection because we are in danger of forgetting why it matters.

American soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines joined allies and took the fight to the Axis powers not as a first instinct, but as a last resort. They ended a war that the free world’s inaction had left them no choice but to fight.

Generations have taken pride in the triumph of the West’s wartime bravery and ingenuity, from the assembly lines to the front lines. We reflect less often on the fact that the world was plunged into war, and millions of innocents died, because European powers and the United States met the rise of a militant authoritarian with appeasement or naïve neglect in the first place.

We forget how influential isolationists persuaded millions of Americans that the fate of allies and partners mattered little to our own security and prosperity. We gloss over the powerful political forces that downplayed growing danger, resisted providing assistance to allies and partners, and tried to limit America’s ability to defend its national interests.

Of course, Americans heard much less from our disgraced isolationists after the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Today, America and our allies face some of the gravest threats to our security since Axis forces marched across Europe and the Pacific. And as these threats grow, some of the same forces that hampered our response in the 1930s have re-emerged.

Germany is now a close ally and trading partner. But it was caught flat-footed by the rise of a new axis of authoritarians made up of Russia, China, North Korea and Iran. So, too, were the advanced European powers who once united to defeat the Nazis.

Like the United States, they responded to Russia’s aggression in Ukraine in 2014 with wishful thinking. The disrepair of their militaries and defense industrial bases, and their overreliance on foreign energy and technology, were further exposed by Russia’s dramatic escalation in 2022.

By contrast, Japan needed fewer reminders about threats from aggressive neighbors or about the growing links between Russia and China. Increasingly, America’s allies and partners in the Indo-Pacific are taking seriously the urgent requirements of self-defense. Fortunately, in the past two years, some of our European allies have taken overdue steps in the same direction.

Here at home, we face problems of our own. Some vocal corners of the American right are trying to resurrect the discredited brand of prewar isolationism and deny the basic value of the alliance system that has kept the postwar peace. This dangerous proposition rivals the American left’s longstanding allergy to military spending in its potential to make America less safe.

It should not take another catastrophic attack like Pearl Harbor to wake today’s isolationists from the delusion that regional conflicts have no consequences for the world’s most powerful and prosperous nation. With global power comes global interests and global responsibilities.

Nor should President Biden or congressional Democrats require another major conflict to start investing seriously in American hard power.

The president began this year’s State of the Union with a reference to President Franklin Roosevelt’s 1941 effort to prepare the nation to meet the Axis threat. But until the commander in chief is willing to meaningfully invest in America’s deterrent power, this talk carries little weight.

In 1941, President Roosevelt justified a belated increase in military spending to 5.5 percent of gross domestic product. On the road to victory, that figure would reach 37 percent. Deterring conflict today costs less than fighting it tomorrow.

I was encouraged by the plan laid out last week by my friend, the ranking member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, Roger Wicker , which detailed specific actions the president and colleagues in Congress should take to prepare America for long-term strategic competition.

I hope my colleague’s work prompts overdue action to address shortcomings in shipbuilding and the production of long-range munitions and missile defenses. Rebuilding the arsenal of democracy would demonstrate to America’s allies and adversaries alike that our commitment to the stable order of international peace and prosperity is rock-solid.

Nothing else will suffice. Not a desperate pursuit of nuclear diplomacy with Iran, the world’s most active state sponsor of terrorism. Not cabinet junkets to Beijing in pursuit of common ground on climate policy. The way to prove that America means what it says is to show what we’re willing to fight for.

Eighty years ago, America and our allies fought because we had to. The forces assembled on the English Channel on June 6, 1944, represented the fruits of many months of feverish planning. And once victory was secure, the United States led the formation of the alliances that have underpinned Western peace and security ever since.

Today, the better part of valor is to build credible defenses before they are necessary and demonstrate American leadership before it is doubted any further.

Mr. McConnell, a Republican senator from Kentucky, is the Senate minority leader.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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How to Write an Essay Introduction (with Examples)   

The introduction of an essay plays a critical role in engaging the reader and providing contextual information about the topic. It sets the stage for the rest of the essay, establishes the tone and style, and motivates the reader to continue reading. 

Table of Contents

What is an essay introduction , what to include in an essay introduction, how to create an essay structure , step-by-step process for writing an essay introduction , how to write an introduction paragraph , how to write a hook for your essay , how to include background information , how to write a thesis statement .

• Argumentative Essay Introduction Example: 
• Expository Essay Introduction Example 

Literary Analysis Essay Introduction Example

Check and revise – checklist for essay introduction , key takeaways , frequently asked questions .

An introduction is the opening section of an essay, paper, or other written work. It introduces the topic and provides background information, context, and an overview of what the reader can expect from the rest of the work. 1 The key is to be concise and to the point, providing enough information to engage the reader without delving into excessive detail. 

The essay introduction is crucial as it sets the tone for the entire piece and provides the reader with a roadmap of what to expect. Here are key elements to include in your essay introduction: 

• Hook : Start with an attention-grabbing statement or question to engage the reader. This could be a surprising fact, a relevant quote, or a compelling anecdote. 
• Background information : Provide context and background information to help the reader understand the topic. This can include historical information, definitions of key terms, or an overview of the current state of affairs related to your topic. 
• Thesis statement : Clearly state your main argument or position on the topic. Your thesis should be concise and specific, providing a clear direction for your essay. 

Before we get into how to write an essay introduction, we need to know how it is structured. The structure of an essay is crucial for organizing your thoughts and presenting them clearly and logically. It is divided as follows: 2  

• Introduction:  The introduction should grab the reader’s attention with a hook, provide context, and include a thesis statement that presents the main argument or purpose of the essay.  
• Body:  The body should consist of focused paragraphs that support your thesis statement using evidence and analysis. Each paragraph should concentrate on a single central idea or argument and provide evidence, examples, or analysis to back it up.  
• Conclusion:  The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis differently. End with a final statement that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. Avoid new information or arguments. 

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to write an essay introduction: 

• Start with a Hook : Begin your introduction paragraph with an attention-grabbing statement, question, quote, or anecdote related to your topic. The hook should pique the reader’s interest and encourage them to continue reading. 
• Provide Background Information : This helps the reader understand the relevance and importance of the topic. 
• State Your Thesis Statement : The last sentence is the main argument or point of your essay. It should be clear, concise, and directly address the topic of your essay. 
• Preview the Main Points : This gives the reader an idea of what to expect and how you will support your thesis. 
• Keep it Concise and Clear : Avoid going into too much detail or including information not directly relevant to your topic. 
• Revise : Revise your introduction after you’ve written the rest of your essay to ensure it aligns with your final argument. 

Here’s an example of an essay introduction paragraph about the importance of education: 

Education is often viewed as a fundamental human right and a key social and economic development driver. As Nelson Mandela once famously said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” It is the key to unlocking a wide range of opportunities and benefits for individuals, societies, and nations. In today’s constantly evolving world, education has become even more critical. It has expanded beyond traditional classroom learning to include digital and remote learning, making education more accessible and convenient. This essay will delve into the importance of education in empowering individuals to achieve their dreams, improving societies by promoting social justice and equality, and driving economic growth by developing a skilled workforce and promoting innovation. 

This introduction paragraph example includes a hook (the quote by Nelson Mandela), provides some background information on education, and states the thesis statement (the importance of education). 

This is one of the key steps in how to write an essay introduction. Crafting a compelling hook is vital because it sets the tone for your entire essay and determines whether your readers will stay interested. A good hook draws the reader in and sets the stage for the rest of your essay.  

• Avoid Dry Fact : Instead of simply stating a bland fact, try to make it engaging and relevant to your topic. For example, if you’re writing about the benefits of exercise, you could start with a startling statistic like, “Did you know that regular exercise can increase your lifespan by up to seven years?” 
• Avoid Using a Dictionary Definition : While definitions can be informative, they’re not always the most captivating way to start an essay. Instead, try to use a quote, anecdote, or provocative question to pique the reader’s interest. For instance, if you’re writing about freedom, you could begin with a quote from a famous freedom fighter or philosopher. 
• Do Not Just State a Fact That the Reader Already Knows : This ties back to the first point—your hook should surprise or intrigue the reader. For Here’s an introduction paragraph example, if you’re writing about climate change, you could start with a thought-provoking statement like, “Despite overwhelming evidence, many people still refuse to believe in the reality of climate change.” 

Including background information in the introduction section of your essay is important to provide context and establish the relevance of your topic. When writing the background information, you can follow these steps: 

• Start with a General Statement:  Begin with a general statement about the topic and gradually narrow it down to your specific focus. For example, when discussing the impact of social media, you can begin by making a broad statement about social media and its widespread use in today’s society, as follows: “Social media has become an integral part of modern life, with billions of users worldwide.” 
• Define Key Terms : Define any key terms or concepts that may be unfamiliar to your readers but are essential for understanding your argument. 
• Provide Relevant Statistics:  Use statistics or facts to highlight the significance of the issue you’re discussing. For instance, “According to a report by Statista, the number of social media users is expected to reach 4.41 billion by 2025.” 
• Discuss the Evolution:  Mention previous research or studies that have been conducted on the topic, especially those that are relevant to your argument. Mention key milestones or developments that have shaped its current impact. You can also outline some of the major effects of social media. For example, you can briefly describe how social media has evolved, including positives such as increased connectivity and issues like cyberbullying and privacy concerns. 
• Transition to Your Thesis:  Use the background information to lead into your thesis statement, which should clearly state the main argument or purpose of your essay. For example, “Given its pervasive influence, it is crucial to examine the impact of social media on mental health.” 

A thesis statement is a concise summary of the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, or other type of academic writing. It appears near the end of the introduction. Here’s how to write a thesis statement: 

• Identify the topic:  Start by identifying the topic of your essay. For example, if your essay is about the importance of exercise for overall health, your topic is “exercise.” 
• State your position:  Next, state your position or claim about the topic. This is the main argument or point you want to make. For example, if you believe that regular exercise is crucial for maintaining good health, your position could be: “Regular exercise is essential for maintaining good health.” 
• Support your position:  Provide a brief overview of the reasons or evidence that support your position. These will be the main points of your essay. For example, if you’re writing an essay about the importance of exercise, you could mention the physical health benefits, mental health benefits, and the role of exercise in disease prevention. 
• Make it specific:  Ensure your thesis statement clearly states what you will discuss in your essay. For example, instead of saying, “Exercise is good for you,” you could say, “Regular exercise, including cardiovascular and strength training, can improve overall health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases.” 

Examples of essay introduction 

Here are examples of essay introductions for different types of essays: 

Argumentative Essay Introduction Example:  

Topic: Should the voting age be lowered to 16? 

“The question of whether the voting age should be lowered to 16 has sparked nationwide debate. While some argue that 16-year-olds lack the requisite maturity and knowledge to make informed decisions, others argue that doing so would imbue young people with agency and give them a voice in shaping their future.” 

Expository Essay Introduction Example  

Topic: The benefits of regular exercise 

“In today’s fast-paced world, the importance of regular exercise cannot be overstated. From improving physical health to boosting mental well-being, the benefits of exercise are numerous and far-reaching. This essay will examine the various advantages of regular exercise and provide tips on incorporating it into your daily routine.” 

Text: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee 

“Harper Lee’s novel, ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ is a timeless classic that explores themes of racism, injustice, and morality in the American South. Through the eyes of young Scout Finch, the reader is taken on a journey that challenges societal norms and forces characters to confront their prejudices. This essay will analyze the novel’s use of symbolism, character development, and narrative structure to uncover its deeper meaning and relevance to contemporary society.” 

• Engaging and Relevant First Sentence : The opening sentence captures the reader’s attention and relates directly to the topic. 
• Background Information : Enough background information is introduced to provide context for the thesis statement. 
• Definition of Important Terms : Key terms or concepts that might be unfamiliar to the audience or are central to the argument are defined. 
• Clear Thesis Statement : The thesis statement presents the main point or argument of the essay. 
• Relevance to Main Body : Everything in the introduction directly relates to and sets up the discussion in the main body of the essay. 

Writing a strong introduction is crucial for setting the tone and context of your essay. Here are the key takeaways for how to write essay introduction: 3  

• Hook the Reader : Start with an engaging hook to grab the reader’s attention. This could be a compelling question, a surprising fact, a relevant quote, or an anecdote. 
• Provide Background : Give a brief overview of the topic, setting the context and stage for the discussion. 
• Thesis Statement : State your thesis, which is the main argument or point of your essay. It should be concise, clear, and specific. 
• Preview the Structure : Outline the main points or arguments to help the reader understand the organization of your essay. 
• Keep it Concise : Avoid including unnecessary details or information not directly related to your thesis. 
• Revise and Edit : Revise your introduction to ensure clarity, coherence, and relevance. Check for grammar and spelling errors. 
• Seek Feedback : Get feedback from peers or instructors to improve your introduction further. 

The purpose of an essay introduction is to give an overview of the topic, context, and main ideas of the essay. It is meant to engage the reader, establish the tone for the rest of the essay, and introduce the thesis statement or central argument.  

An essay introduction typically ranges from 5-10% of the total word count. For example, in a 1,000-word essay, the introduction would be roughly 50-100 words. However, the length can vary depending on the complexity of the topic and the overall length of the essay.

An essay introduction is critical in engaging the reader and providing contextual information about the topic. To ensure its effectiveness, consider incorporating these key elements: a compelling hook, background information, a clear thesis statement, an outline of the essay’s scope, a smooth transition to the body, and optional signposting sentences.  

The process of writing an essay introduction is not necessarily straightforward, but there are several strategies that can be employed to achieve this end. When experiencing difficulty initiating the process, consider the following techniques: begin with an anecdote, a quotation, an image, a question, or a startling fact to pique the reader’s interest. It may also be helpful to consider the five W’s of journalism: who, what, when, where, why, and how.   For instance, an anecdotal opening could be structured as follows: “As I ascended the stage, momentarily blinded by the intense lights, I could sense the weight of a hundred eyes upon me, anticipating my next move. The topic of discussion was climate change, a subject I was passionate about, and it was my first public speaking event. Little did I know , that pivotal moment would not only alter my perspective but also chart my life’s course.” 

Crafting a compelling thesis statement for your introduction paragraph is crucial to grab your reader’s attention. To achieve this, avoid using overused phrases such as “In this paper, I will write about” or “I will focus on” as they lack originality. Instead, strive to engage your reader by substantiating your stance or proposition with a “so what” clause. While writing your thesis statement, aim to be precise, succinct, and clear in conveying your main argument.  

To create an effective essay introduction, ensure it is clear, engaging, relevant, and contains a concise thesis statement. It should transition smoothly into the essay and be long enough to cover necessary points but not become overwhelming. Seek feedback from peers or instructors to assess its effectiveness. 

References  

• Cui, L. (2022). Unit 6 Essay Introduction.  Building Academic Writing Skills . 
• West, H., Malcolm, G., Keywood, S., & Hill, J. (2019). Writing a successful essay.  Journal of Geography in Higher Education ,  43 (4), 609-617. 
• Beavers, M. E., Thoune, D. L., & McBeth, M. (2023). Bibliographic Essay: Reading, Researching, Teaching, and Writing with Hooks: A Queer Literacy Sponsorship. College English, 85(3), 230-242. 

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12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

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