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Sometimes it's all about the casting. The notice of a screening came around, I read the names Al Pacino , Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin , and it didn't matter in a way what the movie was about — although it didn't hurt that it was a crime movie.

Apart from any objective ranking of the actors, Walken is a spice in any screenplay, and in "Stand Up Guys," there's room for at least as much spice as goulash. Director Fisher Stevens begins with a permissive screenplay by Noah Haidle that exists in no particular city, for no particular reason other than to give the actors the pleasure of riffing through more or less standard set-pieces.

Consider first the city. I know where it was filmed, but that information is a distraction. This is a generic city. A city like the city in " Sunrise ," which feathers out into shadows and defeat. It is hardly even populated. In a plot that takes the guys into the night and the next morning, the characters seem to be nighthawks, framed by an empty space. They hang out in a diner with hardly any customers, they drive on streets with hardly any cars, and when they visit a brothel, hardly anyone seems to care about sex.

That the brothel visit involves Al Pacino with Viagra is inevitable, I guess, and the drug's results are so exaggerated here that physical laws seem to be violated. There is also a wacky chase scene with Alan Arkin transferring more or less from lying a hospital bed to racing behind a wheel of a sports car. And a bad guy named Claphands ( Mark Margolis ) who exists entirely to fuel the plot. How do you get a name like Claphands? If it's a nickname, how do I know it's not about applause?

The set-up involves Val (Pacino) being released from prison and being met on the barren street outside by another former partner in crime, Doc (Walken). They have a history. We see it in their faces. We learn Val has finished a 28-year sentence, served because he was a … stand-up guy. We learn Val served time for killing Claphands' son. We learn that Doc was at the scene of that murder. There's something else we don't learn right away, but it's there, coiling in the shadows between Doc and Val.

It plain doesn't matter how Val killed the Claphands heir, or why. These are plug-on details. What it comes down to is that Doc has been ordered to kill Val, and intends to. Claphands leaves him no choice.

But that need not be said yet. Doc has a deadline by which he must commit Claphands' act of vengeance — a deadline that exists only for the purpose of supplying the film with urgency. If you haven't seen an old criminal crony in 28 years, and you have to kill him, obviously you drill him as soon as possibly convenient. The clock ticks down entirely for the entertainment of the audience and the convenience of the director.

But no. Doc and Val first have to collect another stand-up guy, Hirsch (Arkin). He was their gang's old driver, now hooked up to oxygen tanks in a hospital. They go to see him, spring him from the hospital, and the plot provides reasons he must drive for them once again. The best reason is that this is an obligatory plot point.

So we're given yet one more chase scene. And the movie provides us with subplots involving women. There is the obligatory brothel scene, which observes the rule that before one stand-up guy kills another, they must first bond with sex, as a salute to their old lives. Val's overdose of Viagra has triggered such alarming tumescence that he is rushed to an emergency room. You'd think the brothel would have first-aid measures to treat such a condition, but no. It is a spoiler to tell you one of the hospital nurses, Nina ( Julianna Margulies ), is Hirsch's daughter. She tells them her dad is in another hospital, which provides two coincidences for the price of one. The other woman is Wendy ( Lucy Punch ), who inherited the brothel from her mom, who no doubt was the sporting partner of Val, Doc and Hirsch when the stand-up guys didn't use Viagra and stood up on their own.

What do the reunited stand-up guys do during their hours between the reunion at the hospital and the death deadline? Cycle through a series of scenes designed to allow these three iconic actors to behave and interact, that's what. Pacino, with the raspy voice of long, low insistence. Walken, who patiently leads others through the logic of the malignant situation he has put them in. Arkin, who talks like the play-by-play announcer during a game with fate.

For the rest, there's how the city looks. This is no place for enterprising young men. Every location, we feel, should have one of those London blue plaques, informing the tourist what unspeakable things happened there. These men move through the monuments of sad lives. They have not lost the gift of bitter amusement.

Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert was the film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times from 1967 until his death in 2013. In 1975, he won the Pulitzer Prize for distinguished criticism.

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Stand Up Guys (2013)

Rated R for language, sexual content, violence and brief drug use

Alan Arkin as Hirsch

Julianna Margulies as Nina

Mark Margolis as Claphands

Al Pacino as Val

Lucy Punch as Wendy

Katheryn Winnick as Oxana

Christopher Walken as Doc

Directed by

• Fisher Stevens
• Noah Haidle

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Stand Up Guys Reviews

It's sad for all the wrong reasons.

Full Review | Aug 14, 2019

At least Pacino and Arkin will always have "Glengarry Glen Ross."

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Apr 17, 2016

The pace is too slack, the gags too tired and the plot too hackneyed for the film to be more than fitfully engaging for all but die-hard Pacino and Walken fans.

Full Review | Nov 9, 2013

Thanks to Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin - mostly just for being charismatic old pros who are fun to hang out with - Stand Up Guys is watchable, occasionally amusing, not altogether insufferable.

Full Review | Original Score: C | Jul 13, 2013

A messy script isn't enough to undermine these clever veteran actors, who manage to make the most of the humour, drama and action without ever losing their dignity.

Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/5 | Jul 5, 2013

Stand Up Guys probably won't appeal to anyone whose father hasn't got friends of pensionable age.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jul 2, 2013

It's depressing to see the likes of Pacino reduced to making erectile dysfunction jokes, more so when the film labours the gag by having him overdose on Viagra.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jul 1, 2013

Viagra is consumed, erections wrestled, old scores settled - blah blah blah.

Full Review | Jun 30, 2013

Even when Walken, Pacino, and Arkin are phoning it in - on a rotary phone - they still earn their status as icons.

Full Review | Jun 28, 2013

There's sharp dialogue and the odd, startling moment of emotional intimacy scattered amidst the dreck; enough to make this a solidly entertaining couple of hours if you try resolutely not to think about it too hard.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jun 28, 2013

Frankly, if you put Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin in your movie, you don't really need to worry about the script: we'd happily watch them do just about anything on-screen.

Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/5 | Jun 28, 2013

Think what they might have achieved with better material.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jun 28, 2013

An initially promising, increasingly glutinous buddy comedy that exploits and squanders the talents of its starry cast.

With a little bit of chutzpah and a fistful of Viagra, the tough guys of yesteryear can still come staggering back to make a decent movie.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jun 27, 2013

A rewarding mash-up of Last of the Summer Wine and Goodfellas.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jun 26, 2013

You'd think that septuagenarians Al Pacino and Christopher Walken would still have enough self-respect left in the tank to steer clear of debacles like this.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5 | Jun 16, 2013

All three acting legends bring the spice to a sub-par story. But, the total is not enough to keep this flick from stinking.

Full Review | Original Score: C- | Jun 13, 2013

There's much entertainment ... in watching a trio of great actors in the twilight of their careers, at work with a strong script.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/4 | Jun 5, 2013

Stand Up Guys is very much an old man's film, but Stevens just about delivers the performances that its ageing audience demands.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jun 5, 2013

It's hardly great, but it's refreshingly old school.

Full Review | Original Score: 86/100 | Apr 27, 2013

Scent of Doomed Men: Al Pacino and Christopher Walken Team Up for Stand Up Guys

Pacino and Walken play old gangsters reunited for one last night together, with Alan Arkin playing the third musketeer. So why do these Stand Up Guys seem like they'd rather be sitting?

Near the beginning of Stand Up Guys , two old men reunite outside a prison after 28 years apart. Val (Al Pacino) has been doing time for their last, botched heist. “I kinda missed you,” Val tells Doc (Christopher Walken), and the two retired gangsters hug tentatively. “Did that just get weird?” Val asks. With one of Walken’s trademark mininods, Doc affirms the weirdness. They stare at each other, one set of hollowed-out eyes looking into another, for a long, awkward beat.

That strain of awkwardness runs throughout  Stand Up Guys , a buddy movie that limps along, pausing for breath and pulse checks like a geriatric dutifully fulfilling doctor’s orders to get some exercise. It’s a movie bolstered by legendary actors — Pacino, Walken and Alan Arkin, who joins the story a little later as Hirsch, their former getaway driver (rescued from a nursing home where they find him nodding off under his oxygen mask) — turning in tender, understated performances as old-timers whose time is running out. As the wistful, contemplative Doc, who retired from crime when Val went to prison and spends his days painting sunrises and watching cable, Walken is quietly convincing. Val, meanwhile, is the wild and crazy guy, though for once Pacino plays his part with restraint, allowing some vulnerability to flow into his performance. But it’s the narrative, written by Noah Haidle and directed by Fisher Stevens, that ultimately proves too wobbly and unstable, derailing this graceful trio of old pros.

( READ : TIME’s review of Christopher Walken’s A Late Quartet )

The crux of the plot is that their old crime boss Claphands (Mark Margolis) wants Val dead for reasons that have to do with a mistake Val made nearly three decades ago. No spoiler here, since the film makes this all clear in its opening scenes, but Doc is under orders to shoot Val before the night is done or be killed himself. This is no surprise to Val either; we can tell from the wary way he walks around Doc’s fusty, gloomy little apartment that he’s anticipating a bullet at any moment. Walken’s somber, mournful manner essentially makes it a given. They circle the elephant in the room for a while, injecting the movie with a modest jolt of suspense. But once they’ve discussed Claphands’ order, Stand Up Guys promptly deflates. There’s little how’s-he-going-to-get-out-of-this-one anticipation to propel the action, as all these scenes with the raging Claphands (Margolis plays him as if he were called Heavyhanded) indicate there is no room for negotiation. For the bulk of the film, the only question remaining is how many of the stand-up guys will still be standing at the end.

( SEE : Pacino’s worst fashion moment )

A languid night of carpe diem commences. Pacino offers many colorful versions of the sentiment “I could party” while Walken’s eyes answer, “I could nap.” Their evening is filled with crimes and misdemeanors: they steal a car, go dancing, hit a diner (twice), visit a modest, homey brothel run by Lucy Punch ( Bad Teacher ), break into a pharmacy for some stimulants and old-man meds (like pills for Doc’s hypertension) and engage in the kind of shenanigans that tend to land people in the emergency room. Most of this tomfoolery involves Val’s penis, which rivals Samantha’s vagina in Sex and the City 2 for the dubious honor of most discussed onscreen genitals in recent history.

Technically only one woman is on the receiving end of Val’s favors, a beautiful, “clean” Russian hooker, but he leers at virtually every other female character. That I could handle — this is a guy who just got out of prison, and he’s intentionally gross — but Stand Up Guys ‘ portrayal of women is appallingly dense. They’re all angels — beautiful, unrealistic angels — and except for Julianna Margulies as an emergency-room nurse, most of them are young enough to be grandchildren to the men in question (one of them actually is Doc’s granddaughter). These fantasies of femininity are either inexplicably fond of or entranced by the old men, from the girl who dances with Val (shades of Scent of a Woman ) to the waitress at the diner Doc frequents, who looks fresh as a daisy despite working double shifts. Even the characters that aren’t hookers still seem like the stereotyped hookers with a heart of gold. The movie’s most uncomfortable subplot involves a stunning young woman (Vanessa Ferlito) who has been gang-raped. It’s nice that the stand-up guys rescue and avenge her, but her suffering is trivialized in a grossly insensitive way.

( READ : What Alan Arkin said about his last Oscar nomination )

Pacing is to blame for the bulk of the trouble — both in Stevens’ direction and Haidle’s screenplay. The tone they convey is one of premature self-congratulation, as if simply assembling the stars of The Godfather , The Deer Hunter and the original The In-Laws on one set was enough to hang a movie on. (Pacino and Walken were both in Gigli , and Pacino and Arkin were both in Glengarry Glen Ross , but they’ve never been a trio onscreen.) There is a sense that everyone, this treasure trove of talent included, is waiting for something to happen, some bit of alchemy that will make the story coalesce into a whole and take it beyond the jokes about Viagra, hookers and regrets. Instead the tone shifts about as if Stevens (who produced the documentary The Cove ) were still figuring out exactly what he wanted as he went. Is it a geriatric version of Glengarry Glen Ross , talky and sharp ? Or is it a mobster version of The Bucket List , comic and sappy? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid featuring senior citizens? Stand Up Guys tries to be all three, but not surprisingly, these three disparate moods don’t mesh.

READ : The unkind things TIME said about Al Pacino’s comic turn in Jack and Jill

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Stand up guys, common sense media reviewers.

Amusing but vulgar, violent "old school" crime comedy.

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Much of the movie relies on iffy behavior with few

Most of the characters are criminals or lowlifes o

The violence doesn't really pick up until abou

The main characters visit a brothel. One takes ext

Very strong language includes many uses of "f

Viagra plays a big role in the movie, though it&#3

Characters stay up all night and drink a lot of al

Parents need to know that Stand Up Guys is a crime comedy starring Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Alan Arkin as three septuagenarian criminals who are reunited over one long night. Questions of loyalty and consequences come up from time to time, though the movie doesn't explore these themes very deeply…

Positive Messages

Much of the movie relies on iffy behavior with few consequences, but one character must decide between committing murder to protect his own safety and protecting his best friend instead; he chooses loyalty and friendship. The movie also deals with the idea of "consequences" for some bullies who've mistreated a woman, though it translates into simple revenge.

Positive Role Models

Most of the characters are criminals or lowlifes of some kind; the "good guys" are simply less awful than others. But one secondary character, a waitress in an all-night diner, demonstrates kindness and patience, and the movie shows the rewards that this can have and how far acts of kindness can go.

Violence & Scariness

The violence doesn't really pick up until about halfway through the movie, after that there's plenty of it, including punching and fighting, shooting, and blood. A man is smashed in the crotch, and the movie climaxes with a bullet-ridden shootout. A main character dies. There are also heavy threats and suggestions of violence in the dialogue. A doctor plunges a hypodermic needle into a character's penis (off screen) after that character takes too much Viagra.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide.

Sex, Romance & Nudity

The main characters visit a brothel. One takes extra amounts of Viagra (only referred to as "boner pills") and sleeps with a prostitute off screen. A second character sleeps with two women at once, a prostitute and the woman at the front desk, both off screen (and without Viagra). A naked woman is found in a car trunk, but she's filmed curled up so that nothing is shown. Also very strong innuendo throughout, such as when a main character tries to pick up three women in a bar.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Sex, Romance & Nudity in your kid's entertainment guide.

Very strong language includes many uses of "f--k," plus "s--t," "whore," "ass," "a--hole," "d--k," "boner," "damn," "goddamn," "oh my God," and "pecker."

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Language in your kid's entertainment guide.

Products & Purchases

Viagra plays a big role in the movie, though it's not mentioned by name specifically.

Drinking, Drugs & Smoking

Characters stay up all night and drink a lot of alcohol. They also break into a pharmacy and steal several bottles of prescription pills (mostly for things like cataracts and hypertension). One character breaks open some of these pills and snorts them. A main character is seen smoking cigarettes on more than one occasion.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Drinking, Drugs & Smoking in your kid's entertainment guide.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that Stand Up Guys is a crime comedy starring Christopher Walken , Al Pacino , Alan Arkin as three septuagenarian criminals who are reunited over one long night. Questions of loyalty and consequences come up from time to time, though the movie doesn't explore these themes very deeply. Violence is an issue, with a fair amount of fighting, punching, shooting, and blood. There's also sexual content: Characters take Viagra and have sex with prostitutes (off screen), one character sleeps with two women at once (also off screen), and a woman is found naked in a trunk, though no sensitive body parts are shown. Language is strong, with multiple uses of "s--t," "f--k," and more. Characters drink plenty of alcohol and smoke cigarettes over the course of their long night, and they have a supply of prescription pills. (One character breaks open the capsules and experiments with snorting them.) Teens may not be interested in this story of older guys, but those who are need to be mature enough to handle the content. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails .

Where to Watch

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What's the Story?

When Val ( Al Pacino ) is released from a long prison term, his old friend Doc ( Christopher Walken ) is there to pick him up. Unfortunately, Doc has an agenda. A crime boss has ordered Doc to kill Val as payback for an accidental murder committed years earlier. Val eventually figures out what Doc is up to, but they quietly decide to spend a final night on the town instead, going so far as to kidnap another old pal, Hirsch ( Alan Arkin ), from a rest home. As the night wears on -- with eating, drinking, hooking up with prostitutes, smoking, stealing cars, getting into fights, etc. -- the question looms ever larger: What is Doc going to do?

Is It Any Good?

Stand Up Guys seems like a throwback to the 1990s, walking in the footsteps of both Pulp Fiction and Grumpy Old Men . But happily, director Fisher Stevens is a character actor himself -- in addition to being an Oscar-winning producer ( The Cove ) -- and he lovingly coaxes relaxed, organic performances from the three great veteran performers. They have an easy chemistry together, and they actually seem to have years of history together. Their unspoken language and shorthand is perhaps even more effective than the scripted dialogue.

The movie also develops a low-key tone, which downplays the very obvious gags, such as the overdose of Viagra, and all the "old guy vs. young guy" barbs. Many viewers will probably feel that the material is overall too slight to warrant much enthusiasm -- for example, it's nowhere near as sharp as Seven Psychopaths -- but for many others it will be an amiable time-waster, capable of producing many smiles.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

Families can talk about Stand Up Guys ' violence . How frequently is it shown? How does it build up over the course of the story? How much of it is necessary to the story?

How does the movie depict drinking and smoking ? Are there any consequences? How else do the characters indulge themselves? What do they do that's good for them?

In one scene, the characters discuss "consequences" for bullies' actions. What do these consequences consist of? Is this a good way to deal with bullies?

The movie has several jokes and lines about "old school" tactics over "new" things. Are there certain old ways that are better than new ways? What about the other way around?

Movie Details

• In theaters : February 1, 2013
• On DVD or streaming : May 21, 2013
• Cast : Al Pacino , Alan Arkin , Christopher Walken
• Director : Fisher Stevens
• Studio : Lionsgate
• Genre : Comedy
• Run time : 95 minutes
• MPAA rating : R
• MPAA explanation : language, sexual content, violence and brief drug use
• Last updated : April 27, 2023

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Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.

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Captain America: Brave New World Repeats MCU’s Oldest Recasting Trick With Harrison Ford’s Ross

This underrated $86m movie from 2013 is dwayne johnson's best performance & shows he's been wasted for years, what happened to michael oher in real life after the blind side, the characters even acknowledge the predictability of what happens to them (re: the plot), but the actors playing them choose to enjoy the ride..

Stand Up Guys  brings together Oscar-winners Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin - three gentlemen with more than 150 years of experience gesticulating in the movies - but does it use them for more than geriatric comedy and thematic reminiscing about the bygone age of cinema (where tough guys cracked heads and took names according to their internal moral compass)?

The picture opens with Val (Pacino) leaving prison after completing a 28-year stint, with his friend and fellow ex-gangster retiree Doc (Walken) waiting to greet him at the gate. Following a few detours that include Russian hookers, pharmacy robbery and a pit-stop at Doc's favorite diner, the pair break out their former getaway driver Hirsch (Arkin) from the old folk's home, to join them for a night of living life to the fullest - operating with the knowledge their time is limited, by forces other than just Mother Nature.

Stand Up Guys rejects the crime/gangster genre's post-Tarantino tendencies, by forgoing the surface-deep pastiche and self-satisfied hipness found in so many Pulp Fiction wannabes released over the last two decades. Sure, self-awareness arises through the casting of Godfather  trilogy and Scarface icon Pacino alongside Walken (the Pulp Fiction alum and scene-stealer in the Tarantino-scripted True Romance ), but those meta qualities do not overshadow the significance of thematic reflections on diminishing cultural values. Here, for example, the written conversations aren't striving for quotability, they're about serving the characters in their ruminating on the nature and meaning of a criminal's existence.

The script from relative newcomer Noah Haidle attempts to make that meditative cinema more palpable by splicing in some conventional senior citizen-based humor (libido jokes, a modern car technology gag, etc.). Is it a perfect union? Well, no; it results in a film that often wobbly oscillates between  Space Cowboys territory - or rather, Clint Eastwood's version of Grumpy Old Men - and a timeless, but tender, drama that doesn't feel like a self-aware throwback to socially-conscious 1970s material (but very much is). However, at the end of the day, the good outweighs the bad.

Director Fisher Stevens - a character actor some might remember from 1990s TV series such as  Early Edition and Key West (or, going further back, Ben in the Short Circuit  movies) - working with cinematographer Michael Grady ( Notorious ,  Faster ) creates a painterly technique of an unspecific sense of time, place and mood. The film's nice-and-clean camerawork, muted colors and quiet night atmosphere are simple and non-flashy, much like the performances of its elderly stars. Indeed, the visual style is complimented by equally solid editing from Mark Livolsi, a former assistant editor to Woody Allen (before he moved onto stuff like Wedding Crashers and The Blind Side ).

Walken, Pacino and Arkin are saddled with old man jokes, some of which are clever in their satirizing of gangster concepts about impotence (be it physical or mental) and reliance on chemical enhancements; others, however, are just an excuse to watch screen icons mess around with Viagra and kvetch about their age. The leads handle these weaker moments with as much assurance and ease as the dramatic beats where they express remorse and guilt. In lesser hands, such a balancing act could have turned out a disaster; fortunately, these fellows know what they are doing. (Shocking, right?)

Supporting players Julianna Margulies ( The Good Wife ), Lucy Punch ( Bad Teacher ), Mark Margolis ( Breaking Bad ), Addison Timlin ( Californication ) and Vanessa Ferlito ( Death Proof ) occupy characters that represent nostalgia, regret, vengeance and redemption for the film's three wise guys; though, devoting more time to allowing them to shine (be it for dramatic or light-hearted effect) might have strengthened their roles on both an immediate and metaphorical level. Instead, they make for fleeting, but welcome, distractions from the routine old crook shenanigans.  "Close enough,"  Pacino's character might say.

The people behind Stand Up Guys get caught up in stereotypical old-timer laughs (including, an outdated catch-phrase), but its principal cast shakes that off and make the experience more fulfilling and artistically-accomplished than expected. Indeed, the characters even acknowledge the predictability of what happens to them (re: the plot), but the actors playing them choose to enjoy the ride, instead of complaining. In the end, that's what makes the difference.

Check out the trailer for Stand Up Guys (in case you're still not sure if this is your sort of movie):

Stand Up Guys is now playing in semi-limited release. It is 95 minutes long and Rated R for language, sexual content, violence and brief drug use.

Stand Up Guys

Stand Up Guys is a crime comedy featuring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin. Directed by Fisher Stevens, the film follows three aging gangsters who reunite for one last night of debauchery while coming to terms with their past decisions. Their camaraderie and loyalty are tested as they face the consequences of a decades-old betrayal.

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Review: ‘Stand Up Guys’ stars liven up trio of aging mob guys

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Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin star in “Stand Up Guys,” a buddy comedy about a trio of wise guys coming out of retirement for one last roll of the dice.

Frankly, they had me at Pacino, Walken and Arkin. Despite long and wide-ranging careers, the three have never been in the same film. They are as curmudgeonly and entertaining a rat pack as you might expect.

Director Fisher Stevens splits his time these days between acting and making documentaries, including an Oscar win in 2010 for “The Cove” (shared with director Louie Psihoyos), which exposed dolphin butchery off the coast of Japan. Maybe Stevens was in the mood for something lighter when Noah Haidle’s screenplay came his way. It’s one of those scripts that had been knocking around Hollywood but never quite jelled until Stevens became involved.

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It was the right time and the right alchemy to make the comedy as amiable as its cast. Despite some predictable predicaments — and the inevitable Viagra joke — the film is clever in the way it deals with the high cost of mob connections and the even higher cost of old age.

“Stand Up” opens with Doc (Walken) picking up Val (Pacino) from prison. After 28 years of doing hard time for not telling, Val is ready to savor everything he has missed — booze, good food and willing women. Doc is done with all that at his point in his life. Now he’s painting landscapes and passing time. To Val’s disparaging remark about his modest apartment, the former shooter shrugs and says, “I got cable.”

It’s a good assessment of how fortune has not favored anyone here. The best friends are carrying a lot of baggage tied to a robbery that went bad. Doc has one outstanding debt that must be paid, and the plot circles around the growing weight of it.

Age issues play out like dominoes falling. The trip to a brothel triggers the trip to the pharmacy for Viagra, which triggers a trip to the emergency room. The nurse on call is the daughter of their old getaway driver Hirsch (Arkin), with Julianna Margulies looking right at home back in the ER. In short order they’ve been filled in on Hirsch’s whereabouts, broken him out of the nursing home, dispensed with the oxygen tank and are on the loose around town.

With old and new crimes to deal with, Val, Doc and Hirsch debate strategy as if they were in their 30s. That they are not is one of the comic veins — Hirsch’s confusion over cars that don’t start with keys and all the creaking joints make for a few laughs. But most of the humor and emotion is derived from their relationship.

While the action is brisk, the film never feels in a hurry. Walken and Pacino amble through their paces. Arkin ups the adrenaline any time he’s around, and he is not around quite enough.

Tension keeps rising as the mob guy behind their downfall keeps pressing for satisfaction. But the boys have other things on their mind — questions of friendship, family, loyalty and mortality. An unexpected graveside service for an associate is moving without being maudlin in a thug-life kind of way.

Whenever the film veers off course, it is rescued by its slick production and the smooth operators it has in its stars. Fisher, working with veteran cinematographer Michael Grady, has a nice feel for place, and they capture the low-level East Coast mob types beautifully. Good music helps. When Doc, Val and Hirsch get it in their heads to settle some scores “Godfather” style, you’ll be glad you’re out of the line of fire, but it is sure fun to watch.

MPAA rating: R for sexual content, language and some drug use

Running time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

Playing: ArcLight, Hollywood; Landmark, West Los Angeles

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Former Los Angeles Times film critic Betsy Sharkey is an award-winning entertainment journalist and bestselling author. She left the newsroom in 2015. In addition to her critical essays and reviews of about 200 films a year for The Times, Sharkey’s weekly movie reviews appeared in newspapers nationally and internationally. Her books include collaborations with Oscar-winning actresses Faye Dunaway on “Looking for Gatsby” and Marlee Matlin on “I’ll Scream Later.” Sharkey holds a degree in journalism and a master’s in communications theory from Texas Christian University.

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Stand Up Guys

Veering between buddy movie and action-thriller, "Stand Up Guys" is a mildly raunchy, modestly entertaining geriatric comedy starring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin as retired gangsters who reunite for one last night on the town.

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Veering between buddy movie and action-thriller, “Stand Up Guys” is a mildly raunchy, modestly entertaining geriatric comedy starring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin as retired gangsters who reunite for one last night on the town. Relying too heavily on jokes of the old-habits-die-hard and they-don’t-make-’em-like-they-used-to sort while incorporating conventions from and sendups of countless other pics, director Fisher Stevens ‘ talky, tongue-in-cheek feature is most likable when the main characters are simply playing off each other. Lionsgate’s January release will skew toward older auds and likely post its best numbers in ancillary.

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Unspooling over a less-than-24-hour period during which time is of the essence, the plot revolves around whether Doc (Walken) will prove as much of a stand-up guy as his former best friend and partner in crime, Val (Pacino). Val served 28 years in prison for accidentally killing the son of crime boss Claphands (Mark Margolis), an incident in which he could have implicated Doc. Meanwhile, the still vengeful Claphands has ordered Doc to dispatch Val on the very day of his release on parole.

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Happy to be free at last, Val just wants to party. Doc decides to indulge his pal for a spell, taking him to the brothel they used to frequent, only to find the madam has retired to Florida, leaving the business to her daughter ( Lucy Punch ). Val’s inability to get it up leads to a pharmacy break-in and some of the pic’s funniest moments, when Doc decides to stock up on medications with a high co-pay.

When Val needs treatment for a Viagra overdose, helmer Stevens even includes an “ER” joke as nurse Nina (Julianna Margulies) wheels him into the hospital. Nina happens to be the daughter of their former get-away driver, Hirsch (Arkin), whom the guys impetuously decide to rescue from his nursing home. Just as Doc and Val can still pick a lock and pack a powerful punch despite being advanced in years, so, too, can Hirsch still drive like an Indy champion; cue a high-speed car chase that feels as tired as the earlier priapism jokes.

First-time scribe Noah Haidle , known for his plays, gives the screenplay a circular structure, bringing the guys back to the brothel, Nina and Doc’s favorite diner so that longtime wishes may be fulfilled, tributes paid and secrets revealed. Although some of the dialogue is truly funny, the pic tends to over-milk situational humor, and a scene of unprovoked violence against a Korean storekeeper strikes a really wrong note.

A thesp and docu producer directing his second fiction feature (after 2002’s “Just a Kiss”), Stevens wisely lets the stars have fun mocking their own geezer-tude. Pacino gets the showiest role and attacks it with wild-eyed gusto; by contrast, it’s nice to see Walken as the restrained character for a change, although he’s able to work in his trademark jig. Arkin exhibits his usual flair in a smaller part. As the title suggests, it’s a man’s world, and the distaff perfs are nothing special.

Sharp-looking tech package is distinguished by Michael Grady’s darkly beautiful widescreen lensing, which lends some of the diner shots the look of Edward Hopper’s “Nighthawks.” Reliable soundtrack includes original songs by Jon Bon Jovi.

• Production: A Lionsgate release presented with Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Lakeshore Entertainment of a Lionsgate, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment, Lakeshore Entertainment production. Produced by Kimmel, Tom Rosenberg, Gary Lucchesi, Jim Tauber. Executive producers, Eric Reid, Ted Gidlow, Bruce Toll, Bingham Ray, Matt Berenson. Directed by Fisher Stevens. Screenplay, Noah Haidle.
• Crew: Camera (Deluxe color, widescreen), Michael Grady; editor, Mark Livolsi; music, Lyle Workman; music supervisors, Brian McNelis, Eric Craig; production designer, Maher Ahmad; art director, Tom Taylor; set decorator, Kathy Lucas; costume designer, Lindsay Ann McKay; sound (Dolby Digital/DTS/SDDS), Steve Morrow; supervising sound editors, Derek Vanderhorst, Mandell Winter; re-recording mixers, Leslie Shatz, Vanderhorst; special effects coordinator, Bart Dion; visual effects, Digital District, David Danesi; visual effects supervisor, Thomas Duval; assistant directors, Scott Robertson, Jonas Spaccarotelli; casting, Tricia Wood, Deborah Aquila. Reviewed at Chicago Film Festival (opener), Oct. 11, 2012. (Also in Mill Valley Film Festival.) Running time: 95 MIN.
• With: Val - Al Pacino Doc - Christopher Walken Hirsch - Alan Arkin Nina Hirsch - Julianna Margulies Claphands - Mark Margolis Wendy - Lucy Punch

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Review: Stand Up Guys

Sometimes I take for granted the idea of earning moments. If a filmmaker wants you to feel something, he or she needs to make you feel it without taking shortcuts. It’s all about effort and honesty, because earning moments means that those moments don’t feel forced (or worse, manipulative) when they arrive. You’re too lost in the story to notice the machinery that got you there.

Watching Stand Up Guys made me realize why earning moments is so important. The movie shifts between high comedy and life-or-death drama multiple times. It wants you to ponder friendship, age, love, death, and loneliness while also making you laugh at a few boner jokes. This is a tricky balance.

The problem: nothing in Stand Up Guys is earned.

Stand Up Guys Director: Fisher Stevens Rating: R Release Date: February 1, 2013

The movie starts promisingly enough. Baby Huey’s “Hard Times” plays over an opening credits montage of Val (Al Pacino) getting out of jail while his buddy Doc (Christopher Walken) goes to pick him up. It’s a reunion between two old partners in crime. Val took the wrap for a botched job 28 years ago because he refused to snitch and bring his friends down with him. Now that Val’s out, he wants to go out on the town and get into trouble. But Doc’s been hired to put a hit on Val by their old boss (the always cool and often underused Sol Robeson). The hit has to happen before tomorrow morning or else. Old-people hijinks ensue, and then fall flat pretty quick.

It’s not a novel set-up, but it’s material with potential if you have good actors and a good script. Stand Up Guys is severely lacking in the latter. The screenplay is from first-time writer Noah Haidle, and it’s chock full of obvious jokes (e.g., the requisite Viagra gag) and dumb cliches you’ve seen dozens of times in other forgettable movies. There are the “old men act like young men” cliches: old men screw, old men flirt, old men do drugs, old men drive really fast, old men get violent. There are the “old men are old men” cliches: old men complain about being old, old men complain about new technology, old men complain about nursing homes, old men reminisce about the olden days. There are the “criminals with hearts of gold” cliches: they steal, they fight, they flee from cops, they do horrible things, but hey, they’re all right fellas in the end, amiright? And because Stand Up Guys wants you to feel, there are the “old men are dying” cliches: old men talk about regrets, old men talk about bucket lists, old men deliver speeches full of blunt truths gleaned from experience, young people get teary-eyed because old men are acting old and are going to die.

No matter how good the actors are, they can only do so much with bad material, and the stuff of Stand Up Guys is pure dreck. Alan Arkin, who plays Hirsch the Third Oldketeer, is underwritten and underdeveloped. He mostly drones his lines like he’s annoyed and doesn’t want to be there. There are a few places where director Fisher Stevens seems to let Walken and Pacino improvise, and the results are like lackluster first takes. When Val arrives in Doc’s apartment, there’s inane back and forth about the decor; over coffee before their long night, more inane banter. It’s not the slice-of-life small talk that illuminates characters or allows the audience to inhabit the reality of the moment, it’s just two actors filling time.

Stand Up Guys seems to implicitly say, “Hey, this movie has Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin in it — isn’t that enough for you?” From beginning to end, the film coasts on your knowledge of each actor’s past roles and reputations. It’s such a blatant shortcut to earning moments, and it rarely works. In some ways, Pacino, Walken, and Arkin are basically playing caricatures themselves. Pacino does a Pacino impression with growls and histrionics, Walken does Walken with pauses and strange alien inflection, and Arkin does Arkin by droning his lines and being annoyed. They’re not acting so much as using their presence to try to elevate material that cannot be elevated.

How cynical does Stand Up Guys get with this? The answer comes less than half an hour in. Val and Doc head to a bar/club where the young people go. Val hits on three women crassly, not in an adorable dirty-old-man kind of way but a rude-and-rapey sort of way. He gets rebuffed with a drink in his face, wipes off, regroups, and tries to hit on them again. On comes the absent charm. He asks one of the young ladies to dance. For some reason she says yes, and what follows is a dance sequence lifted straight out of Scent of a Woman . Everyone in the club is surprised, charmed, turned on, impressed; meanwhile, I scowled at the gall on screen. In Scent of a Woman , the dance seemed charming and unexpected, but in Stand Up Guys it’s cheap and transparent. It also has no repercussions in the scene directly afterwards. It’s just there to remind us of Pacino as Pacino. And no, it’s not enough.

This is like a strange encapsulation of Pacino’s career lately. Despite some good work on TV ( Angels in America , You Don’t Know Jack ), Pacino’s spent the last decade in some wretched movies: Gigli , 88 Minutes , Righteous Kill , Jack and Jill . He shows up and does his Pacino thing in material that’s beneath him, as if his presence is enough: this is funny because it’s Pacino doing it, this is dramatic because it’s Pacino doing it, you should take this seriously because, look, it’s Al freakin’ Pacino. But again, the material isn’t there, and actors can’t earn moments on their own. Pacino can say the words, but as good as he might say them, the words he’s saying here are practically meaningless.

Most of Stand Up Guys is meaningless because none of the actions have consequences. It goes from little things like the Scent of a Woman rip-off scene to the big things like Doc’s hit job dilemma. There’s nothing at stake for any of the characters, or if there is, it’s never expressed in a tangible way that made me care. Why does Doc care if Val dies? Why does Hirsch feel like getting out and about? No one has anything to gain or to lose. We’re supposed to feel like these decisions have consequences because we know the cliches and we know the actors, but earning the moment means that the writing makes you feel what’s in the story, not the stuff outside of the story.

Towards the end of Stand Up Guys , the stakes are raised for one of the characters following a painfully contrived plot twist. Had I not lost my goodwill for the movie in the first half hour, I might have felt something at this point (assuming I wouldn’t have been baffled by the silliness of the plot twist). Finally there’s a sense of what could be lost if a certain character doesn’t act decisively. This could have been the moment the film hinged on, and it could have salvaged something resembling meaning in a movie that’s devoid of it.

After building that flimsy bit of consequence, the film ends on a note that totally undermines the stakes. It’s a reckless ending for characters who know how much there is to lose, especially since they were so cautious and worried a few scenes before. It’s as if the characters and the screenwriter said, “Ah, screw it,” because they were missing a cliche for the finale and needed to get it in there somehow.

It just shows that Stand Up Guys wants to have it both ways without earning or committing to either: it wants to be a flippant last-night-out movie with old people and also wants to be a heartfelt drama about life and death. It winds up being a 90-minute trifle where everything is irrelevant, made worse by an ambiguous ending. To end on ellipses makes a movie meaningless unless the movie was so rife with consequence to begin with that the ellipses are a kind of relief. Here the ambiguity is a total cop out. The characters are still free from any repercussions for their actions, and the filmmakers get out of actually telling the damn story.

During one of the many unearned scenes in Stand Up Guys , Pacino delivers a monologue on the nature of life and death. It’s obviously Pacino’s award clip. This is an intimate moment, and we’re supposed to feel something because one character is shedding tears. It’s hard to feel anything since the moment has no consequence, but whatever. Pacino recites the monologue diligently, modulating between gravitas and apathy — been there, done that, I’m checking out, I’m okay with that, I’ve seen a lot, I’ve done a lot. He’s wistful, he’s witty, there’s calculated range on display.

Cavalier, self-assured, Pacino doesn’t even finish his thought in an emotional flourish. Instead, he ends with a dismissive trail off. More ellipses. Part of it may be the character’s reticence to get emotional, or part of it may be the character no longer giving a toss about what’s going on.

“That was good,” Walken’s character says at the end of the monologue. But this is less like Doc patting Val on the shoulder and more like the movie patting itself on the back; as if Haidle or Stevens is insisting, “Hey guys, it’s Al Pacino who just said that — it’s gotta be good.”

Whatever you say, Doc. I don’t freakin’ buy it. I watched him play the notes, but there’s no melody — the song has no heart.

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Review: ‘Stand Up Guys’

“Stand Up Guys” is a story of revenge, loyalty and honor, but it’s far from your typical action/gangster flick. For one thing, “Stand Up Guys” is a snapshot of life at a much later stage than you’ll see in any given Wahlberg, Pitt, Cruise or even Clooney movie. The film stars seasoned Oscar winners Christopher Walken and Al Pacino, as well as fellow Academy Award winner Alan Arkin in a major supporting role. The result is an offbeat-yet-powerful depiction of friendship and aging.

“Stand Up Guys” begins with Al Pacino’s long-awaited release from jail, where he dutifully served 28 years in taking the fall and refusing to name names in a heist gone awry. Doc (Walken), a longtime friend and co-worker of sorts to Val (Pacino), collects Val after his release and takes him gallivanting around town to enjoy the simple pleasures of life that he’s missed – namely, steak and hookers. As Val resumes his pre-prison habits and lifestyle, he is reminded (both by Doc and by various unsuccessful endeavors) that they are much older men than they were when he left free society.

Meanwhile, as Val discovers the power of modern pharmaceuticals like Viagra (among others), Doc grapples with an approaching deadline for the job he’s been assigned: to kill Val. Though Val kept his mouth shut “like a stand up guy” after his arrest, one of his bullets killed his (and Doc’s) boss’s only son in the crossfire of the unsuccessful robbery that led to Val’s arrest. You may recognize Claphands (Mark Margolis), the ubiquitous crime boss, from Breaking Bad, where he plays Tio Salamanca. Without the wheelchair and oxygen apparatus, Margolis is just as creepy but also significantly scarier as the all-powerful boss who will stop at nothing to avenge his son’s death.

While the premise may sound a bit “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”-esque, this film could hardly be further from the fast-paced shootout-style storyline that seems like it would ensue. Instead, the main plot doesn’t really develop or progress at all for the vast majority of the movie. Val is still sharp as a tack, and is all too familiar with Claphands and his M.O., and he is wise to Doc’s assignment from very early on. Perhaps it’s their longstanding friendship, or perhaps it’s their shared experience in “the business,” but Val and Doc manage to maintain a candid dialogue and open friendship despite the looming and imminent prospect of death.

Indeed, Val is not only aware of but also understanding of Doc’s obligation to complete the assignment, which is likely a function of their mutual familiarity with guns, violence and “jobs.” For those of us without mob experience, however, this element of the film is the hardest to grasp.

The unique relationship between Val and Doc allows them to spend most of their time (and most of the movie) engaging in entertaining diversions from the assignment and the main plotline. This process is aided by their reunion with Hirsch (Alan Arkin), an old friend who served as the getaway driver for the crew in the good old days. Together, they get into adventures that only old criminals with nothing to lose would get into, including stealing a sick car, breaking Hirsch out of an old folks home and doing lines of ulcer meds.

Though some aspects of this film are difficult to relate to, “Stand Up Guys” is ultimately about honor, loyalty and friends as “witnesses to your life,” which should be relevant to just about everyone. Plus, it’s hard not to appreciate a movie in which virtually every major character delivers a standout performance. Be sure to watch carefully for the relatively unknown actors in this movie, like Vanessa Ferlito, who hold their own when sharing the screen with the greats.

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Movie Review: Stand Up Guys (2012)

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• 5 responses
• --> January 31, 2013

The “Stand Up Guys.”

Every act has a consequence. In 2002, Fisher Stevens directed “ Just a Kiss ” which offered an absurd view on what can happen in the case of gross misunderstandings and infidelity. In Stand Up Guys , he proffers an absurd view on what could happen if one were to accidentally kill a kingpin’s son. Only this time instead of working with an ensemble of 30-something year olds, Stevens’ has a combined 150+ years of acting talent — Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin — to help him spin a semi-dark tale of friendship and honor.

The three of his stars play aging, semi-retired thieves who were general bad-asses in their heyday. Hirsch (Arkin) is holed up in a hospice waiting for his number to be called. Val (Pacino), recently paroled after a 28 year stint in the big house for robbery and manslaughter, wants to get back to his old ways. Doc (Walken) lives a simple life, doesn’t want trouble, nor does he want to anything to do with the murderous task he’s been assigned (remember the kingpin and consequences?). But because of their strong friendship, Doc decides to drag his feet on the assignment and provide the every want to Val while he figures out the next move to do.

What he didn’t count on, however, is Val wants a whole lot. There’s plenty to make up for; after all, Val’s got years and years of debauchery to catch up on.

For the next 24-hour period, Fisher directs his stars into various situations — some sentimental, some outrageous — and, luckily for him (and possibly the viewer) he doesn’t have to do much because even though the three actors have never worked together on a film, they piece together like a warm knit hat, gloves and scarf. This translates to very natural riffing between the cons; one could almost swear the scenes in the bar where the septuagenarians reflect over the good times are real conversations Pacino, Walken and Arkin would have if they were sitting in a bar in downtown SoHo. It’s also helpful the roles were tailor made for these guys: Pacino is the cantankerous one, Walken is the quirky one and Arkin is the quieter one.

Dressed to kill.

They all get their moments to shine as the night progresses, though. 28 years without the touch of woman makes a man understandably horny. Cue, a stop at the local madam Wendy’s (Lucy Punch) house where pokes are made at Val not being able to get it up without the aid of a little blue pill. A stolen car makes for some childlike exuberance for one-time getaway driver Hirsch (once he figures out how to start the car). Doc, well he plays the steady hand throughout Stand Up Guys , more often showing a softer, contemplative side, especially when the subject focuses on his favorite waitress, Alex (Addison Timlin).

First time scribe Noah Haidle also tosses in an opportunity for the three to deliver some brutal comeuppance to some wanna-be gangsters when they run into a traumatized young woman (Vanessa Ferlito).

This scene is a sharp departure from the more lighthearted undertone of Stand Up Guys but it is a stark reminder that these guys are from a different era. Friendships matter as does doing the right thing in all circumstances. The actors aren’t exactly challenged delivering this message but they’re having a good time doing it. For the most part, we’re having a good time watching them.

Tagged: friends , hitman , partner , prison

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

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'Movie Review: Stand Up Guys (2012)' have 5 comments

January 31, 2013 @ 9:10 pm Ryan Dennis

This is what three Oscar winners are reduced to starring in?

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February 5, 2013 @ 4:31 pm MR MAJESTIC

Hollywood isn’t a town for the elderly.

January 31, 2013 @ 9:34 pm PaperMate

The fact the material doesn’t live up to the billing sucks. I won’t go so far as to say these guys won’t ever work together again (money makes strange bedfellows) but chances are slim they will. It’s such a wasted effort.

February 1, 2013 @ 10:55 am Tamiwik

I’ll watch it just to see Walken do Walken.

February 1, 2013 @ 7:37 pm itsbenweeks

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The script for Stand Up Guys comes from somewhere deep in the pile of thousands that languish year after year on Hollywood’s Black List, the holding tank for unproduced screenplays where such memorable heavyweights as Juno, Slumdog Millionaire, and The King’s Speech found their light of day.

But unfortunately, for every The Hangover on the list, there are dozens and dozens of Abductions . This is one of the latter. While Stand Up Guys isn’t quite feeding from the bottom of the same trough that produced the 2011 stinker starring a shirtless Taylor Lautner, one certainly has to wonder what it was in the script that encouraged producers to take a bold chance on it.

From first-time screenwriter Noah Haidle, the screenplay is squandered somewhere between its meandering, senseless plot and the empty Tarantino-wannabe discourse. The vision was to be a clever, dialogue-driven character study that features an A-list cast of veteran acting heavyweights - who have somehow never worked together, by the way. But what results is something that more closely resembles a series of disjointed stage skits held together by some of the most excruciating dialogue this side of Episode 1 . That’s probably because Haidle comes from a stage writing background and has no sense of what to do with a screenplay.

It’s the tale of three aging, former mobsters getting together for one last night on the town. Val (Al Pacino), now a septuagenarian, is released from prison after serving a 28-year stint for refusing to give up his criminal associates. Waiting for him at the prison gate is best friend Doc (Christopher Walken) who agrees to put Val up at his ratty apartment before the two hit the town. But there’s a sadness in Doc’s eyes and a loaded pistol in his pocket. We learn that due to a foulup during a job all those years ago, Doc is tasked by the head Boss with killing his best pal before 10 o’clock the next morning.

Yes, it’s thin on plot, but with such veteran actors in roles that harken back to some of their most memorable, albeit much more forced this time around, it should be entertaining enough to just sit and watch these guys read from the phone book. Instead, they’re asked to lumber through numerous hackneyed scenarios, such as an awkward visit to a bordello which brings about a fit of “unpreparedness” by Val’s character. To remedy the situation, the pair break into a nearby pharmacy to pilfer some “boner pills.” Yes, that’s how Al Pacino is used here; as the brunt of an onslaught of juvenile Viagra jokes and tawdry erection sight gags. What a disgrace. A bit about stealing hypertension, cholesterol, and arthritis medication - after all, they’re old and already in the pharmacy, get it? - fails miserably, as does the subsequent crushing and snorting of the pills to get high.

The proceedings do get a much-needed jolt of excitement however, when Val and Doc bust old friend and former wheel man Hirsch (Alan Arkin) out of the nursing home before stealing a souped-up Dodge Challenger and taking it out on the town. But guess where they go. Back to the same bordello where the all-too-familiar low-ball shenanigans, again, swing for the gutter… and strike the target squarely.

In spite of the fact that his appearance is barely more than that of a cameo, Arkin seems to have the most fun in his role. Pacino and Waken do an admirable job with what they’re given - and even manage to almost save this thing from its own impactless misdirection. But ultimately, even great performances can’t rescue this flatlining comedy.

With a stellar cast of veteran actors and an actor’s director in Fisher Stevens (who starred in the Short Circuit films of the ‘80s and directed the searing documentary The Cove ), Stand Up Guys had a great chance at becoming the Godfather of old geezer gangster flicks. But instead, it more closely resembles the Abduction of the Hollywood Black List.[/tab]

[tab title="Film Details"]

Synopsis : Val is released from prison after serving twenty-eight years for refusing to give up one of his close criminal associates. His best friend Doc is there to pick him up, and the two soon re-team with another old pal, Hirsch. Their bond is as strong as ever, and the three reflect on freedom lost and gained, loyalties ebbed and flowed, and days of glory gone by. And despite their age, their capacity for mayhem is still very much alive and well - bullets fly as they make a hilariously valiant effort to compensate for the decades of crime, drugs and sex they've missed. But one of the friends is keeping a dangerous secret- he's been put in an impossible quandary by a former mob boss, and his time to find an acceptable alternative is running out. As the sun rises on the guys' legendary reunion, their position becomes more and more desperate and they finally confront their past once and for all.[/tab]

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Stand Up Guys Reviews

• 41   Metascore
• 1 hr 34 mins
• Drama, Comedy
• Watchlist Where to Watch

An aging crook is released from prison after 28 years, and he soon reunites with two friends for a new scheme that incurs the wrath of a dangerous mob boss.

At one point in Fisher Stevens’ charming comedy Stand Up Guys, professional thief Doc (Christopher Walken) looks on with amusement at the familiar sight of his old partners in crime -- tough guy Val (Al Pacino) and ace wheelman Hirsch (Alan Arkin) -- bickering over whether Hirsch should give his pants to a naked woman they’ve discovered. Doc’s pleasure in that moment, registered in a loving close-up of Walken while the other two argue, is exactly how Stand Up Guys makes you feel. The movie opens with Val (short for Valentine) getting out of jail after serving 28 years for a botched robbery. During his long term, he never gave up the names of his accomplices; that includes his best friend Doc, who is there to pick up Val when he’s released from the big house. They head out to raise as much hell as their aging bodies will allow, and in the process they rescue Hirsch, the third member of their old team, from a retirement home. For all of their remarkably enjoyable misadventures -- which include multiple visits to a brothel, meals at Doc’s favorite diner, stealing a sports car, and helping a woman seek revenge on an attacker -- there’s a consistent undertone of melancholy that runs throughout Noah Haidle’s compact, effective script. Doc has been ordered by a ruthless mob boss to kill Val by 10 the next morning in retaliation for the kingpin’s son dying in the botched robbery. So, as funny as the movie is, the center of it is about death. These three aging men want one last chance to relive old thrills and settle personal affairs, and while that poignant sentiment never disappears, it also never overtakes the shaggy-dog charm of the storytelling or the performances. If you’re constructing the Mount Rushmore of American film actors from 1970 on, Al Pacino’s face should be on it. Although his early masterworks were mostly evocations of quiet intensity, ever since Heat he’s been caricatured for his screaming, over-the-top flamboyance. As Val, a character who likes to talk, those showman-like tendencies are certainly there in Pacino’s performance; he gives off that buzz that great thespians can have when it’s evident how much they love acting. However, because Val is a gravelly voiced, potbellied older man, Pacino slows everything down, and that decision allows the viewer one of the few chances to see the best of both young and old Al in a single performance -- showcased most prominently in a scene in which Val makes a memorably funny and moving confession to a priest. Christopher Walken has made a career out of playing, for lack of a better word, “otherness.” His dancer’s grace and odd inflections make it hard to take your eyes or ears off of him, but he rarely gets credit for being a remarkable acting partner. His distinct creative choices aren’t made to grab the spotlight, but to keep every scene and every line fresh for his co-stars. He’s mostly playing the straight man to Pacino’s Val throughout Stand Up Guys, but he’s also the movie’s heart because Doc actually has to make the central dramatic choice in the story. For someone who so easily seems to represent strangeness, Walken reveals his characters’ sad souls with little more than a twinkle in his eye or a balletic, unexpected dance step. If nothing else, Stand Up Guys is a master class in acting whenever these two share the screen, regardless of whether Val and Doc are robbing a drugstore for Viagra, negotiating with hookers, or sharing their deepest fears. Just as you’ve been lulled into the peerless rhythms of Pacino and Walken’s conversations, in comes Arkin, who gets not only the funniest scene in the movie (it involves a return to the brothel), but brings yet another kind of energy to the proceedings. Arkin’s trademark grumpy sarcasm isn’t absent, but he tones it down since Hirsch feels genuine pleasure to be out and about with his old friends, and because he’s still mourning the death of his wife years after her passing. For a film about coming to terms with death, Stand Up Guys is funnier than you might expect, and never once sinks into sentimental treacle. That’s a testament to both first-time feature screenwriter Noah Haidle and director Fisher Stevens for keeping the flow of the story efficient but not hurried, and to the phenomenal talent of three actors doing what they do best. At one point, Val says to Hirsch that this big night out is better now that they’re older because they can really appreciate it, and it’s hard not to think that Pacino is speaking for all three of them as actors as much as he is for the characters.

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Movie Reviews

'stand up guys' falls terminally flat.

Scott Tobias

Doc (Christopher Walken) and Val (Al Pacino) are old friends and ex-cons who go on one last rampage in the crime comedy Stand Up Guys. Lionsgate hide caption

Stand Up Guys

• Director: Fisher Stevens
• Genre: Crime, Comedy
• Running Time: 94 minutes

Rated R for language, sexual content, violence and brief drug use

With: Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin, Julianna Margulies

Intended as a victory lap for three great stars of advancing age, Stand Up Guys is another entry in the "old folks doing stuff" subgenre, which offers comic affirmation that life is not strictly for the young.

This is the subgenre that had a retirement-home population necking like teenagers in Cocoon , Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman jumping out of an airplane in The Bucket List , and ancient astronauts repairing an old Soviet satellite in Space Cowboys . These films offer the cheering fantasy of revitalization, plus the comedy of veteran actors — some marquee attractions in their day — not acting their age.

Yet that fantasy curdles badly in Stand Up Guys , in large part because the funny business isn't as innocuous as retirees cutting a rug. The lovable old-timers here, played by Al Pacino and Christopher Walken, are contract killers, and their one-crazy-night misadventures detour into thieving, maiming, murder and no fewer than three trips to the local brothel. (Leading to no fewer than three Viagra jokes, too, which is three above the legal limit.)

It would take a deft touch to frame their transgressions as an essentially harmless final go-around for a couple of old professionals. But actor-turned-director Fisher Stevens gravely misjudges the tone — when he isn't trying to get too cute about everything, he slathers his characters in unearned sentimentality.

The workable premise has Val (Pacino) getting out of prison after serving 28 years for accidentally killing the boss's son. Though Val has taken the time without complaint, the boss (played by Mark Margolis, best known as the fearsome Tio Salamanca on Breaking Bad ) wants him dead within 24 hours of his release.

Val and Doc's driver, Hirsch (Alan Arkin), joins them on an outing to the local bordello for some quality time with one of the women (Lucy Punch). Lionsgate hide caption

Val and Doc's driver, Hirsch (Alan Arkin), joins them on an outing to the local bordello for some quality time with one of the women (Lucy Punch).

For this task, he hires Val's best buddy and former partner in crime, Doc (Walken), who has the decency to show his friend a last night on the town before pulling the trigger. After a nice breakfast and a couple of trips to the bawdy house, Val and Doc steal a sleek Dodge Challenger and pick up their former getaway driver, Hirsch (Alan Arkin), to peel off to wherever the evening takes them.

Some of the jokes in Stand Up Guys are barely jokes — there's a whole sequence devoted to the supposed irony of the mild-mannered Hirsch's talent for pleasuring two young prostitutes at once — and others are weirdly distasteful. One episode has the trio discovering a naked woman (Vanessa Ferlito) in the trunk of the car, who has obviously been sexually assaulted, and all the film can think to do is have Val and Doc knock around the perpetrators as the woman follows up with a baseball bat. It's all treated with a smug lightness that plays entirely at odds with what's happening onscreen. A pair of career contract killers would be capable of such dirty business, but Fisher and his screenwriter, Noah Haidle, refuse to treat it with any gravity.

At the same time, Stand Up Guys gets awfully sticky as dusk turns to dawn and Val's time grows short. Stevens wants to honor the living legends who have miraculously agreed to appear in his movie, but after spending a full hour treating their characters like cartoons, the about-face into heartfelt slop lacks the necessary gravitas.

Not that these old pros don't give it their best: Walken, in particular, dials back his natural flamboyance to play Doc as a weary, lonely soul searching for some tiny sliver of redemption. The movie isn't worthy of him.

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STAND UP GUYS Movie Review

Posted by Sean Wheeler

Art By Victor Cayro

Al Pacino (RIGHTOUS KILL), Christopher Walken (SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS), and Alan Arkin (ARGO) team up for a comedic romp in STAND UP GUYS. The movie focuses on Valentine, a wise guy who is getting out of prison after 28 years, and Doc, his best friend who has orders to kill him by the next morning. As Val embarks on a blow out night of partying and trying to recapture the glory days, the more reserved Doc finds himself more and more conflicted over his assignment. When they spring Hirsch, their old friend and get away driver, out of an old folks home, things really start to heat up as the three of them get up to some of their old tricks.

While Fisher Stevens (SHORT CIRCUIT) is most well known for his acting, he takes a stint behind the camera for STAND UP GUYS. The movie has good production values, while being rather ordinary as far as directing goes. There are a few interesting stylistic moments, but none that really floored me. What Stevens does do a fantastic job with, however, is making sure the movie always feels right. STAND UP GUYS may be a comedy, but it is a comedy that focuses on men who have passed their prime, and as such it has a fine line to walk between the believable and the absurd. While the movie is full of crazy shenanigans, very rarely did they ever skirt the line of believability, and even when it did, the movie quickly brought the tone back down to a more realistic level. While the movies production was certainly competent, the writing was fantastic.

One of the key things that made STAND UP GUYS enjoyable was the terrific script. The movie was written by Noah Haidle, a new comer to full length features with a couple of writing credits for shorts under his belt; whatever his background, it’s clear he knows what he is doing. What I loved most about the writing was the great crafting of situational comedy. Too often comedies rely on making the audience feel uncomfortable for the characters or over the top raunchiness to get laughs, which makes a movie that heavily uses situational comedy refreshing. The agedness of the characters combined with their background as career criminals lends itself to a wide variety of amusing exploits and encounters. It is quite difficult to discuss writing without spoiling the movie, which I especially refuse to do here with it being one of its highlights, so I am going to move on to discussing the cast the makes the writing so memorable.

A script is nothing without actors to bring it to life, and in the case of STAND UP GUYS there is a phenomenal group of actors breathing life into the words. Al Pacino stars as Val, and he is great as the charming convict out for a last hurrah. Pacino has a long career behind him and has many iconic characters in his wheelhouse, but I think this is the most humanizing character I have ever seen him play; you really forget you are watching Pacino as Val shines so brightly. I have long been of fan of Christopher Walken (ever since I saw him in BATMAN RETURNS when I was ten) and Doc is a character that is perfect for him. Walken’s acting is often very understated, which works perfectly for a man who has resigned himself to his fate like Doc has. Walken’s Doc is the perfect straight man to Pacins’s Val; the great way they play off each other really elevates the movie and is by far it’s biggest strength. Alan Arkin steps into the role of Hirsch and he does a nice job with it. Arkin brings Hirsch’s steely nerves and subtle depth to bubbling life, and is often a scene stealer. While these three gentleman headline the movie, it also boasts a talented supporting cast. The ever wonderful Julianna Margulies (TV’s THE GOOD WIFE) plays Nina Hirsch, Hirsch’s daughter. Addison Timlin (TV’s CALIFORNICATION) is a warm ball of sunshine as the always smiling waitress Alex. Lucy Punch (TV’s BEN AND KATE) nails her performance as Wendy, the friendly Madam of a local cat house. The great character actor Mark Margolis (TV’s BREAKING BAD) plays Claphands, the aging mob boss who has ordered the hit on Val. The Fiery Vanessa Ferlito (DEATH PROOF) is a blast as Sylvia, an abused woman who the boys help out. And, ironically, comedian Bill Burr (DATE NIGHT) plays the serious role of mob enforcer Larry. This fantastic group of actors all do a terrific job and I don’t think the film would have been nearly as enjoyable without them.

Unfortunately there is a small negative to STAND UP GUYS. While the movie is very well written and a lot of fun, the ending is rather predictable. Again, I won’t spoil anything, but as I was watching the movie there was an ending I expected, and not only was the expected ending delivered, it was done in a rather unsatisfying way. Now, in my opinion, all the positives of this movie far outweigh the negatives, but as the biggest negative is the last thing you are left with it I can see it having a bigger impact on some people.

STAND UP GUYS is a ridiculously fun movie. It is well made, although not as impressively flashy as one might expect, with fantastic writing that was far more humorous than I was expecting. It also boast some of Hollywood’s most famous actors as well as a slew of great supporting actors, all of whom help make the movie delightful. If you are a fan of any of the actors in this movie, or are just looking for a really fun movie to go see with some friends or on a date, then you really should give STAND UP GUYS a chance; I was pleasantly surprised and think you will be too.

Final Score 7.5 out of 10

About The Author

Sean Wheeler

I spend way too much time watching movies and tv, reading comics, and playing video games that I often don't put enough time into my writing. So I figured I would start writing fun reviews and news stories to help keep my skills sharp. I love to write, have collected comics since I was eight, love anime and anime conventions, and am into most things people nerd out over.

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Christian Movie Reviews - Family Friendly Entertainment

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Stand Up Guys an Odd Mix of Sex Jokes, Bible Quotes

• Christian Hamaker Contributing Film and Culture Writer
• Updated May 17, 2013

DVD Release Date: May 21, 2013 Theatrical Release Date: February 1, 2013 Rating: R for language, sexual content, violence and brief drug use Genre: Comedy Run Time: 95 min. Director: Fisher Stevens Actors: Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin, Juliana Margulies, Addison Timlin, Mark Margolis, Vanessa Ferlito

Movies for older audiences are usually the exception, not the rule, among current releases, but right now filmgoers can view Amour , Quartet and as of today, Stand Up Guys —all starring older actors and aimed a target demographic well beyond the teenagers who drive opening-weekend box-office receipts. Will Stand Up Guys  find an appreciative, receptive audience the way Amour  and Quartet already have?

It’s hard to predict audience reaction, but Stand Up Guys never quite lives up to the caliber of its on-screen talent. The story meanders, the jokes are often beneath the actors delivering them, and while the film goes out with a bang, the movie feels a little bit draggy even at a lean 95 minutes.

Former gangster Val ( Al Pacino , Righteous Kill ) leaves prison after serving 28 years for a crime that went bad nearly three decades earlier. Val was a "stand up guy" in prison in that he stayed in the Big House longer than he could have because he wouldn’t give up any of his friends.

Val waits before confronting Doc about the awkwardness. First, Val visits a local brothel where Doc used to be a regular. Jokes ensue about sexual performance and erectile dysfunction, but the dialogue and comic timing are the stuff of TV sitcoms, not big-screen stories starring three Oscar-winning actors.

Val’s no fool. He understands what’s supposed to happen. Val only wants to know how much time he has left before Doc must finish the job. What will the duo do during Val’s few remaining hours? The answer: pick up their old driver, Hirsch ( Alan Arkin , Marley & Me ), and have one last wild night on the town. More sex jokes follow, as does a brutal confrontation and a final decision about Val’s fate.

There’s not much more than that to Stand Up Guys , but one obscure and probably superficial dimension deserves comment: Doc’s conflicted character is first seen in a church pew. Whatever his past misdeeds, he’s struggling with what Claphands has demanded of him now. Repeatedly, Doc asks Claphands to call off the job. During Doc’s conversations with his old friend, Val makes out-of-the-blue references to the Bible, quoting from  2 Corinthians 1  and reminding Doc that you " Galatians 6:7-9 " and " John 8:32 ." Later, Val goes to confession for the first time in ages, and there he wearily speculates about his eternal destination. Indeed, the closing song on the soundtrack begins, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."  The church setting is a powerful counterpoint to the guys' behavior, a sign they’re aware that their actions have had and will have consequences, and that they will receive their just reward... or punishment.

The combination of elements in Stand Up Guys simply doesn’t work, just as if Grumpy Old Men had been written and directed by Ingmar Bergman. As such, it only leaves you wondering who thought it was a good idea.

• Language/Profanity:  Lord’s name taken in vain; the f-word; various obscenities; much discussion about sex and sex organs
• Alcohol/Smoking/Drugs : Prescription pills taken; smoking; meds are crushed and snorted
• Sex/Nudity:  Doc takes Val and, later, Hirsch, to a house of prostitutes; a hand on a woman’s rear end; discussion and taking of pills that enhance sexual performance; a man on a hospital gurney has an obvious erection, which is covered by a sheet; a doctor says he has to insert a needle into a man’s penis to drain excess blood; Hirsch heads to a room with two prostitutes at the same time; a woman is found bound, gagged and naked in the trunk of a car; men in their underwear
• Violence/Crime:  The three protagonists remember previous jobs, including throwing a man out a window; they break into a drug store and steal prescription meds; the film’s plot revolves around a planned killing; punching and fighting
• Religion:  We first see Doc in a church pew; a character quotes  2 Corinthians 9:7  a character states that you " reap what you sow ;" a vindictive man is compared with "the devil himself;"; a character says “the truth will set you free;"; a church is said to be "always open;" a song on the soundtrack includes the words, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned;" Val goes to confession, and tells the priest he doesn’t need worldly things where he’s going

Questions? Comments? Contact the writer at  [email protected] .

Publication date: February 1, 2013

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Stand Up Guys Review

I spent the night before I saw Stand Up Guys working, for about seven hours non-stop, on the massive bibliography for an upcoming film-based book I will soon be publishing. One effect of this monotonous academic endurance run was that I became extremely familiar with various citation forms for films, and spent much of the night pondering why writers are not commonly part of such reference formats. I fully appreciate the difficulty in pinpointing what, exactly, a film citation should look like, given that movies are rarely created with the level of authorial precision a book enjoys, but ignoring the writer seems, in most cases, like a fairly large gap in the cinematic equation.

Case in point: Stand Up Guys is a bad-to-mediocre movie filled with praise-worthy elements that fails almost entirely by virtue of its tedious screenplay. Al Pacino and Christopher Walken give excellent Al Pacino and Christopher Walken performances. Alan Arkin, Julianna Margulies, and Mark Margolis do effective work with what little they are given. The film is sharply directed by Fisher Stevens. Michael Grady’s cinematography is warm, effective, and occasionally evocative. Lyle Workman’s music is solid, and the song Jon Bon Jovi contributed to the soundtrack is used effectively.

All the pieces are in place for Stand Up Guys – which, as a point of record, is grammatically deficient without a hyphen – to offer a pleasing, if not revelatory, experience. Yet Noah Haidle’s screenplay is so incredibly lacking, so stilted, slight, derivative, and tonally awkward that the film has no chance of being good. No matter what quality of work the other cast and crew members turn in, this is a case where the writing is the only element that matters, for Haidle has crafted a hopelessly rickety foundation that corrodes everything it touches.

It is a tremendous shame. I, for one, would be utterly overjoyed to watch Pacino and Walken, two of the most interesting actors of their generation, share in a strong cinematic outing. Walken remains a legitimately great actor capable of tremendous work – see last year’s Seven Psychopaths or A Late Quartet for immediate examples – and while Pacino has long since become an absolute ham, there is a certain charm – and definite entertainment value – in his gravelly-voiced shtick.

Pairing these two is a welcome and long-overdue no-brainer, and to its credit, Stand Up Guys does feature a compelling premise that suits their respective talents. Valentine (Pacino) has just ended a 28-year prison stint, and Doc (Walken), his best friend and former partner-in-crime, has been strong-armed by a local crime boss into killing Valentine before the day is out. There is dramatic potential there, and the absolute smartest decision Haidle makes is to let Doc’s secret out early on. Valentine figures out what his best friend is up to after only a few scenes, and instead of a story about long-separated friends trying to play one another, Stand Up Guys instead becomes a story about two deadbeat criminals sharing one last night of sin before dawn puts one of them out of commission for good.

It’s a sharp set-up, one that allows Pacino to play his unrepentant sleaze of a character with sad, shaggy-dog charisma, while also enabling Walken to wear Doc’s guilt and remorse on his sleeves. The two play their characters well, and share an authentic, casual chemistry that could work beautifully in a better, more significant context.

But the script really is a mess from top to bottom, taking some solid narrative ideas and burying them under a mountain of terrible dialogue, bad jokes, and overly episodic storytelling. Haidle has no handle whatsoever on bringing his characters to life through speech, and while his writing attempts to evoke a snappy, stylistic tenor akin to Elmore Leonard or Quentin Tarantino, it mostly just falls flat in every instance, too stilted and self-conscious to make any sort of meaningful impact. The film is primarily comedic, but Haidle also fails at generating substantial laughs, with the biggest comic set piece revolving around Pacino’s character struggling to get an erection – Academy-Award-winning star of The Godfather, ladies and gentleman – and the only decent one-liner stolen wholesale from They Live and dozens of other imitators.

Tone and pace are constant struggles for the film throughout, with the stop-start storytelling failing to create any sense of significant forward momentum. The third act is an improvement over the preceding material, as the story at least refocuses on its character-based roots, and apart from the aforementioned erectile dysfunction saga and a spectacularly awful funeral sequence midway through, little of the movie is oppressively terrible. But the ending is a cheap and easy let-down that fails to live up to earlier narrative convictions, and the experience as a whole is so nondescript that one may practically forget the movie while watching.

I will continue to hold out hope for a good Pacino/Walken team-up in the future, but with writing this rote and unremarkable, Stand Up Guys is just as flaccid as its main character’s penis.

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Students Target Teachers in Group TikTok Attack, Shaking Their School

Seventh and eighth graders in Malvern, Pa., impersonating their teachers posted disparaging, lewd, racist and homophobic videos in the first known mass attack of its kind in the U.S.

By Natasha Singer

Natasha Singer, who covers technology in schools, reported from Malvern, Pa. She welcomes reader tips at nytimes.com/tips .

In February, Patrice Motz, a veteran Spanish teacher at Great Valley Middle School in Malvern, Pa., was warned by another teacher that trouble was brewing.

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She found a fake profile for @patrice.motz, which had posted a real photo of her at the beach with her husband and their young children. “Do you like to touch kids?” a text in Spanish over the family vacation photo asked. “Answer: Sí.”

In the days that followed, some 20 educators — about one quarter of the school’s faculty — discovered they were victims of fake teacher accounts rife with pedophilia innuendo, racist memes, homophobia and made-up sexual hookups among teachers. Hundreds of students soon viewed, followed or commented on the fraudulent accounts.

In the aftermath, the school district briefly suspended several students, teachers said. The principal during one lunch period chastised the eighth-grade class for its behavior.

The biggest fallout has been for teachers like Ms. Motz, who said she felt “kicked in the stomach” that students would so casually savage teachers’ families. The online harassment has left some teachers worried that social media platforms are helping to stunt the growth of empathy in students. Some teachers are now hesitant to call out pupils who act up in class. Others said it had been challenging to keep teaching.

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