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Being a single mom is the hardest, most empowering thing I’ve ever done

single mom

It isn’t easy—but it does teach you how strong you are.

By Sydney Hutt Updated April 27, 2022

When I told my own mother that my husband and I were splitting up , the first thing she asked me was, “Are you sure?” She’d raised my three siblings and I almost single-handedly and insisted that it was “the hardest thing she’s ever done.”

However, I didn’t take her worries too seriously. At the time, I was so jazzed on the idea of independence, too busy scream-singing The Pussycat Dolls’ “I Don’t Need a Man” in the shower that I regarded my mom’s advice about being a single mom as a bridge for Future Sydney to cross.

Related: To the mama just starting the co-parenting journey: The handoffs were the hardest part for me

Empowered Motherhood class

Well, that future came soon enough. Once I was on my own, I realized that even if I’d already felt like I was doing 90 percent of the parenting and cleaning and general household running many of us moms take upon ourselves, that 10 percent made a huge difference.

1. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be

My husband and I had a routine where he would do the kids’ bath and put them to bed so I could get a break after he got home from work. After he moved out, suddenly that was completely on me, no matter how burned-out I felt .

And not only was I doing all the work during the day, but then once they were asleep there was no one there to help me clean up the hurricane-house, or fold the endless baskets of laundry or to remember to turn the dishwasher on before bed. There was no one to get up with the kids in the middle of the night either, to help soothe their tears, or put them on the toilet , or give out Tylenol for sudden fevers or scrub puke out of the carpet. No one to pick up the prescriptions or forgotten groceries, to catch the things I’d dropped or missed. I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t overwhelmed at first.

2. It’s empowering

Last week, after I killed the second spider I’d found in my house in a matter of days, I sent my mom a triumphant text bragging about my courage. After all, I’d always been able to shriek and have a man rush to crush whatever creepy-crawly had sent me fleeing onto the furniture. In response, my mom texted me back: “Living alone is empowering because it’s not easy.”

And that’s the truth: Being forced to rely entirely on myself for the first time since I was 20 has caused me take on a level of responsibility that’s ultimately made me much, much happier (though also more wrinkly).

3. It’s lonely

One thing I really didn’t expect was the intense isolation that comes with being a single mom. When you’re married, you’re often so used to your partner’s constant presence that you can crave having the house to yourself—an evening alone seems like bliss from a distance.

But quickly I discovered that aaaall that quiet was a huge adjustment. After I put the kids down each night, I was forced to face the long, empty hours before bed that seemed impossible to fill without a companion. The silence was unnerving, and I fantasized about moving into my mom’s house where I could be sure of conversation. But I resisted, and recently, amazingly, I’ve noticed that for the first time ever I’m actually learning how to be alone—and loving it too! But, the odd time I do want to go out…

Related: Motherhood can be lonely, but I want my child to understand the importance of community

4. It’s really tough to get a night away

When I was still married, after my husband got home I’d often take off to the grocery store solo. I’d take my time and stroll down the aisles, pushing my cart like I was a celebrity and they’d closed the store just for me. Sometimes I’d stop by a friends’ house for wine and child-free conversation or go for a drive just to enjoy not reaching backwards groping blindly for a toy as nursery rhymes blare through the speakers. Now that I live alone, I’ve lost that free child-minding a marriage partner offers, and I spend more evenings on the couch yelling at MasterChef Canada than I’d like to admit.

5. The time off isn’t really “off”

Most Friday nights, my ex will swing by and pick up our kids so they can spend the weekend with him. He brings them back on Sundays, meaning I have about one full day without them. Initially, I had ALL the feelings about this arrangement. (What would I do with so much free time?!)

But it turns out, that day off is usually just me catching up on the things I didn’t get a chance to do during the week−a list that is now much longer than it used to be.

Related: What do moms do on their days off? Work

6. You compromise more

There is one fewer parent to go around now and my kids definitely feel it. They act out more than they used to and it seems they’re very aware of the fact that they outnumber me. I’m also unable now to give them each as much of that all-important individual time they enjoyed before my husband and I split. The guilt about this can weigh pretty heavy at times, but I’m learning to recognize that while I’m not giving my girls everything, I really am doing the best I can—and that has to be good enough.

Related: 10 ways to get past conflict with your co-parent

7. You compromise less

Marriage is all about compromise, whether it’s agreeing on paint colors, or household chores or how to spend your money. Since I’ve moved out on my own, I’ve discovered that there is absolute liberation in not having to consider anyone else’s opinion.

My bedroom is the girliest it’s been since I was a teenager, I have books stacked in every corner of my house and if I don’t want to wash the dishes at the end of the night I really don’t have to. My home is entirely mine and it’s a freedom I plan on savoring, along with sleeping smack-dab in the center of the bed and hogging every last pillow.

8. You begin extreme vetting of potential partners

With all this independence and empowerment, I’ve become very unwilling to give up or even share my new life with anyone. I’m being cautious. I’m wary of needing someone too much, of leaning on them instead of myself—it would probably be an easy habit to slide back into. And even now that I am seeing someone, I’ve set serious limits, most of which equal moving about as fast as frozen molasses in terms of how much time and space I’ll devote to our relationship.

I’m not looking for someone to take back that 10 percent and make my life easier—after all, it’s the tough stuff that reminds me what I’m made of.

A version of this story was published July 16, 2017. It has been updated

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Navigating College as a Single Mother

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5 Ways To Write Scholarship Essay As A Single Mother

Last Updated on January 22, 2024 by Lori Pace

Table of Contents

When it comes to crafting a compelling scholarship essay, every word and idea matters. Single mothers, in particular, face unique challenges that can make this task even more daunting. However, with determination and the right guidance, you can overcome these obstacles and shine through your essay. One crucial aspect of a winning scholarship essay is a clear and persuasive thesis statement that encapsulates your goals and aspirations. This is where thesis writing help can play a pivotal role. Seeking assistance from experienced professionals or mentors can assist you in articulating your thoughts and objectives effectively, increasing your chances of securing the financial support you need for a brighter future. So, don’t hesitate to reach out for thesis writing help as you embark on this journey toward educational success.

If you’re a single parent with dependent children, going to college doesn’t have to be just a pipe dream. But before that, you have to pass the “test” to achieve a scholarship if you want to reduce the financial pressure. So, in this article, we’ll talk about the top 5 ways to write a scholarship essay for single moms and other things to keep in mind.

Single Mothers’ Facts

There is around 43 percent of college students in the United States are single mothers, according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research. Almost 88% of single mothers have incomes that fall below the poverty line.

scholarship essay for single moms

Single mothers who go to college and acquire a degree are often saddled with more debt than their peers who do not. Single parents, on the other hand, had an average of $3,800 more debt than students without children. This is nearly $5,000 more debt than students without children of the same gender.

It’s an undeniable fact that acquiring a college degree increases your salary significantly. Those with a bachelor’s degree earn 66% more than those with a high school diploma throughout the course of their career. Below are the top 5 ways to write scholarship essay for single moms.

5 ways to write scholarship essay for single moms

Follow directions.

Reading scholarship application essays, according to Shore, is the most frustrating part of the process. What this implies is paying attention to any formatting or length limits, as well as responding to the question.

A good rule of thumb to follow when writing an essay is to focus on responding directly to the question that was posed. “Longer doesn’t always equate to higher quality. The essay will be boring to both the writer and the reader if the former is the case.”

Get Personal and Be Specific

Experts suggest that the most important part of a successful scholarship essay is to make it personal and include powerful details. In a sea of academic essays that may be tedious to readers who are sifting through hundreds or even thousands of submissions, an essay that seems authentic and offers insights into the applicant’s deeper character will stand out. To be considered for a scholarship from any reputable organization, the scholarship essay writer recommends students submit a scholarship application. This includes multiple essays outlining their academic goals, aspirations for future employment, and other relevant information. The social justice-focused nonprofit foundation provides more than 60 scholarships to deserving post-secondary students in the Northwest.

Tell a Story in Your Scholarship Essay

Monica Matthews, author of the scholarship guide, “ How to Win College Scholarships ,” believes that an outstanding essay catches the reader’s attention from the first sentence.

In order to get their audience interested, students should use a hook that is both personal and concrete “Mathews sent that.”. Judges can’t assess a person’s true character just by hearing them mention how they’ve benefited others. Essays with lasting impact are those that use interesting details to describe personal experiences that are based on real-life events. Experts advise students to consider the essay’s structure and how it might entice a reader. The story should reflect the student’s life.

Customize Your Scholarship Essay

single mom essay for college

The use of a previously written essay for a different application may be permissible and even smart in some situations. Students, on the other hand, should exercise caution, according to experts. Colleen Paparella Ganjian, an independent educational consultant and founder of DC College Counseling in Virginia, noted in an email that “many students try to re-purpose writings from the admissions process for scholarship essays, and the result ends up being so-so.” When writing an essay, students should focus on answering the exact question they are being asked and the organization they are applying to.

Don’t Make Yourself Customized to the Reader

Many students feel the need to exhibit a certain version of themselves in scholarship applications and essays. Not always necessary. Shore says scholarship applicants must be themselves. Mandee Heller Adler, founder, and CEO of Florida-based Overseas College Counselors says personalizing oneself may appeal to nontraditional or international students .

“Share your traditions, culture, and experiences. If you’re a foreign candidate, minority, or non-traditional student, don’t “Americanize” your application “Heller Adler emailed it. “The goal is to stand out among scholarship hopefuls. Don’t be afraid to delve into your heritage to better understand your identity.”

It’s not easy for anyone to pay for their child’s college education, but it’s especially challenging for single moms. Whether you’re returning to school or starting your academic career from scratch, there are numerous resources to help you succeed. Even though scholarships for single moms are available, we at College Rank can help you streamline your college search. There are a number of factors to consider while choosing a college to attend. These can include the type and cost of education you desire.

Lori Pace

Lori Pace is a single mother of three daughters ages 7 and under. As a working mom from home, she balances kids, work and two crazy dogs with humor and love. Follow Lori as she honestly gives tips and advice based on her own experiences as a single mom!

single mom essay for college

Ross E O'Hara, Ph.D.

How to Support Single Moms in College

A new program identifies four themes for helping more single moms graduate..

Posted January 11, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

  • Nearly 11 percent of U.S. undergraduates, or 2.17 million college students nationwide, are single moms.
  • A new pilot at four U.S. community colleges is testing innovative programs to support single moms in postsecondary education.
  • Research on single moms in college reveals four key areas of need: resources, flexibility, career counseling, and community.

Alex Pasarelu/Unsplash

Eleven percent of U.S. college undergraduates are single mothers . To put that in context, there are approximately 500,000 more single moms than there are Asian Americans in college right now. If you glean one fact from the Single Moms Success Design Challenge (SMSDC), a new initiative led by the Education Design Lab, let it be that there are single moms enrolled at your institution, and you probably don’t know who all of them are.

Only 28 percent of these single moms, however, earn any type of postsecondary credential within six years of matriculating, a rate more than two times worse than married mothers and six times worse than women without children. To move toward ending these disparities, the Education Design Lab interviewed more than 100 single moms and 70 community college faculty and staff to identify the biggest challenges facing this population and generate strategies for improving their success. Now four community colleges have begun two-year pilots of holistic support programs for single moms on their campuses.

The most exciting part of these projects is how they set the stage to truly redesign college around single moms, not just help them survive a system that wasn’t built for them in the first place. While we wait for these results, I found it helpful to examine the themes present across these four programs—resources, flexibility, careers, and community—and consider ways in which colleges can better support single moms today. Moreover, learning about these programs led me to reflect on how we could amplify these themes using behavioral science to bolster achievement among these students.

Single Moms Need Resources

Nearly 90 percent of undergraduate single mothers live near or below the poverty line. Not only does financial scarcity threaten persistence, but it also impairs learning by diverting attention away from class and toward money concerns. That is why the first line of defense in these programs is financial support, such as scholarships, emergency aid, transportation assistance, and vouchers for childcare.

As I’ve seen through my work at Persistence Plus, however, making resources available is not enough. Students fail to access these funds for a variety of reasons, including shame or embarrassment , help-seeking threat, and self-reliance. One effective strategy we’ve employed to overcome these obstacles is social norming . Letting students know that others like them avail themselves of support from the college (financial or otherwise) has led to marked increases in students’ use of food pantries, emergency aid, and academic tutoring.

Single Moms Need Flexibility

Along with financial poverty, single moms suffer from time poverty. A 2018 study showed that student parents, in general, spend more than 10 hours more per day on paid and unpaid work than their peers—a figure that is likely higher among single moms. Time poverty not only limits availability for class, studying, and additional supports (e.g., tutoring, advising, office hours) but, like financial poverty, also diverts attention away from learning. While it’s difficult for colleges to alleviate time poverty, they can provide flexibility for single moms who can only continue with school on their own schedule.

The SMSDC colleges are increasing flexibility for single mothers in various ways. Many program offerings are online, not just because of COVID-19 but also to provide attendance options that may not require transportation and childcare. Colleges teach courses in multiple modalities, including some that can be attended in person or online (synchronously or asynchronously) during any given week. Along with reducing absenteeism due to shifting work schedules, sick children, and canceled babysitters, these options can boost single moms’ sense of agency in their education.

Single Moms Need Career Counseling

Single mothers typically have a clear reason to attend college—a better job that provides a better life for their children. And college offers perhaps no better path to improved quality of life, as every additional level of education achieved decreases single moms’ likelihood of living in poverty by 32 percent. This is why all SMSDC programs incorporate career counseling, including coaches or case managers (with flexible options to connect online and at off-hours), career assessment tools, and earn-and-learn opportunities.

But so often I see single moms motivated by more than just their own children’s welfare. These women—the majority of whom live in poverty, belong to oppressed social groups (Black and Native American students are most likely to be single mothers), and face myriad obstacles to their success—tend to gravitate toward careers centered on helping others. Education and messages that focus on interdependence, community, selflessness, and self-transcendence will likely motivate single moms during their most challenging moments more so than a strict focus on dollars and cents.

single mom essay for college

Single Moms Need Community

Because motherhood can be an invisible identity on campus, it’s important to build a student community of single moms. These colleges have designed online or app-based groups and in-person events so single mothers can network, support one another, and know they’re not alone. One college has even formed a coalition of single moms to inform campus policy.

That same college has also included single mothers as part of their employee diversity, equity, and inclusion training. Fostering a sense of community for single moms begins with faculty and staff, and that often starts with basic awareness of their existence on campus. But awareness must then extend to understanding the unique challenges and strengths of single mothers and how to redesign college classrooms, processes, and resources so more single moms earn a college credential. This is an area of work we’ve focused on this past year, using behavioral science and text messaging to encourage faculty and staff to connect with students on a deeper level and provide the right support at the right time.

Single mothers deserve our admiration and support for just being, let alone working toward a college credential to better their children’s futures. The SMSDC initiative will hopefully reveal insights as to the most effective programs and resources to help more single moms graduate. In the meantime, we can work toward understanding how many single mothers are currently on our college campuses and consider how we provide additional resources, flexibility, advising, and community to enable their success.

Ross E O'Hara, Ph.D.

Ross E. O'Hara, Ph.D. , is a behavioral researcher and he applies his expertise in behavioral science to develop scalable interventions that improve college student retention.

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What It's Like Going To College As A Single Mom

What it's like going to college as a single mother, more from work & money, r29 original series.

PrepScholar

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 17 amazing scholarships for moms and single mothers.

Financial Aid

header_mom

Mothers and single mothers have it harder than others when trying to get a college education.

In addition to balancing a full academic course load, they are also responsible for feeding, clothing, and financially supporting their children.

Plus, data shows that between 30% and 40% of families headed by single mothers are living in poverty—which makes the idea of spending money on education even more difficult to fathom.

Fortunately, there are multiple companies who want to help moms and single moms improve their situations through education. Read on to see a list of scholarships directly aimed at mothers who are pursuing higher education.

Who Are These Scholarships For?

Many organizations want to help mothers get back into the classroom. They believe that if moms are getting college degrees, then they will be able to get better jobs and eventually be able to provide more for their families.

There is a lot of help out there for mothers and single mothers who are ready to put in some hard work.

Use this article as a starting point to explore some of the opportunities out there for moms to return to school.

We have split the scholarships into two categories:

  • Scholarships for moms returning to college after a break
  • Scholarships for single mothers

However, if you're serious about funding your education, don't stop there.

There are many other scholarships available that are not aimed specifically at moms, but that mothers who are pursuing degrees can and should still apply for. They're discussed in more detail at the end of this article.

Scholarships for Women Returning to School

body_baby-1

These scholarships are for students who are returning to school after taking a break. If you're fresh out of high school, these are not for you!

Asherah Foundation Scholarship Program

  • Deadline: Mid-June

This scholarship provides a second chance at education for women who are pursuing higher education later in life and have overcome great obstacles in order to do so. Applicants must be over the age of 24, have a high school diploma or equivalent, and intend to pursue continuing education with the goal of advancing her status in the workplace. Scholarship winners receive $2,500 annually to be applied toward expenses pertaining to a four-year college degree, associate degree, accredited vocational program, or other postsecondary career training program.

AAUW Virginia Beach Branch Scholarship

  • Deadline: April 15

Students who are residents of Virginia Beach and at least 23 years old may apply for this scholarship. You should currently be enrolled in an undergraduate program at an accredited institution and have returned to school after being away. You should have a GPA of 3.0 or higher. Applicants must write a short essay about their career goals and special circumstances. At least one award of $500 will be given.

Arizona BPW Foundation Annual Scholarship

  • Deadline: Likely June 18

The Arizona Business and Professional Women's Foundation gives out several scholarships aimed at women 19 years old or older who are returning to school to better their career prospects. Applicants must attend a community college or trade school in Arizona and will need to write an essay about their career goals and financial situation. The application deadline usually around June 18th. Award amount varies.

BK Krenzer Reentry Scholarship

  • Deadline: May 1

This scholarship is awarded by the Society of Women Engineers to a non-traditional student who has re-entered education after a break. Students should be studying any kind of engineering and may be college freshmen, sophomores, juniors, or seniors. The award is for $3,250.

Dr. Wynetta A Frazier Sister to Sister Scholarship

  • Deadline: Early February

This scholarship is aimed at African American women who are either returning to school after a break or who are starting college for the first time following a break after high school because of family responsibilities or other personal demands. Applicants must be able to confirm acceptance into a college or university to pursue a BA degree, must be at least 21 years of age, and need to write an essay on a given topic. Submission of college or high school transcripts and two letters of recommendation are also required.Two awards of $500 to $1,000 will be given.

Emerge Scholarship

  • Deadline: Mid-February

Emerge Scholarships are aimed at non-traditional women students who are going back to school after a break. Applicants must be residents of Georgia who are planning to study in Georgia, be at least 25 years of age, and must express their career and life goals in the application. The number of awards given varies every year; last year 14 were given. The award amount ranges between $2,000 and $5,000.

Executive Women International Adult Students in Scholastic Transition Scholarship

  • Deadline: Early spring

EWI offers the Adult Students in Scholastic Transition Scholarship (ASIST) for adults who are facing economic, social, or physical challenges and are looking to improve their lives through education. Students must first apply through local chapters, and then chapter winners will be entered to win at the corporate level. Corporate level scholarships are for amounts ranging from $2,000 to $10,000.

body_study-1

Jeannette Rankin Women's Scholarship

  • Deadline: Mid- to Late February

This scholarship is aimed at women who are 35 years of age or older, low-income, U.S. citizens or permanent residents, and are pursuing their first bachelor's degree, associate's degree, or technical degree. Selection will be based on applicants' stated goals and plans for reaching them, and how they plan to use their education to give back to the community. The award amount is around $2,000.

Non-Traditional Student Scholarship

  • Deadline: March 1

Applicants must be members of The American Legion, American Legion Auxiliary, or Sons of the American Legion. Applicants should be non-traditional students returning to the classroom after a period of interruption, or be starting education at a later point in life. Winners will be selected based on need, academic achievement, character and leadership, and personal goals. A $2,000 scholarship is awarded in every Auxiliary geographic division. 

P.E.O. Program for Continuing Education

  • Deadline: Varies by chapter

This grant is intended for women whose education was interrupted and who want to return to school to complete a degree or certification. Applicants should be citizens of the USA or Canada and be studying in one of those countries. They should have had at least 24 consecutive months as a non-student in their adult lives and be within two years of completing their desired educational program. Awards are up to $3,000.

Society of Women Engineers Olive Lynn Salembier Scholarship and Mary V. Munger Memorial Scholarship

Applicants must be members of the Society of Women Engineers and must have been out of the engineering workforce and school for at least two years prior to re-entry. The Olive Lynn Salembier scholarship awards $2,000 and the Mary V. Munger Scholarship awards $3,000.

Scholarships for Single Mothers

body_single_mom

These scholarships are specifically aimed at single mothers who want a postsecondary degree.

Helping Hands for Single Moms

  • Deadline: Rolling

This scholarship is designed for low-income single mothers who are earning a college degree. Applicants should have U.S. citizenship and live in Maricopa County or the Phoenix metropolitan area. They must also be legally single and not living with a partner, be registered in college with a GPA of at least 2.8, carry at least a 9-credit-per-semester course load, and have at least one child under the age of 11. The award amount varies.

The Patsy Takemoto Mink Education Foundation

  • Deadline: August 1

This Foundation offers five scholarships every year to women who are at least 17 years old and are mothers with minor children. Applicants should be pursuing an associate's degree, bachelor's degree, or a vocational degree or certificate, and have an annual family income of $28,000 or less (depending on number of family members). Awards are up to $5,000.

WISP: Change Your World Scholarship

  • Deadline: Rolling (2 months prior to starting educational program preferred)

Applicants must be women who are direct survivors of an abusive partner. You must have been separated from the abusive partner for at least one year, and have sought other services from a non-profit for abuse survivors for at least 6 consecutive months. Special consideration will be given to women who plan to use their education to further the rights of other women and girls.

Rosenfeld Injury Lawyers Single Mother Scholarship

  • Deadline: Likely December 5

Rosenfeld Injury Lawyers offers two $1,000 scholarships to single mothers who are looking to go back to school to improve their living circumstances. Applicants must write a 500+ word essay on the advantages of going back to school while caring for their children. They should explain how motherhood has prepared them for the challenges of being a student.

body_studying-5

Live Your Dream Awards Program

  • Deadline: November 15

These scholarships are for women who provide primary financial support for themselves and their dependents and have overcome obstacles such as poverty, domestic violence, or drug and alcohol abuse. Applicants should have financial need and live within a Soroptimist International member territory. Territories include the U.S., Canada, Mexico and several countries in South and Central America, as well as east Asia. Local-level award amounts vary; local award winners become eligible for regional awards of $3,000 or $5,000, and regional award winners are eligible to win international-level awards of $10,000. The application opens on August 1st each year.

Ford Opportunity Scholarship

The Ford Family Foundation offers scholarships to assist single parents in pursuing a bachelor's degree. They recognize that as the head of household and without the support of a partner, single parents face many challenges that most students do not face. Applicants must be single parents of dependent children and live in the state of Oregon or Siskiyou County, California. Up to 50 students receive scholarships every year. The scholarships cover 90% of the student's costs that are not covered by other resources, generally ranging between $1,000 and $25,000.

If you're looking for more ways to fund your education, there are many other scholarships available. Read on to learn about some of your other options and how to apply to them.

How to Find Other Scholarships

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No matter what you are studying or where you plan on attending school, you will likely be eligible for scholarships beyond those that are solely for women and mothers. Finding and applying to these other scholarships is a great way to increase the amount of money you have for school.

A good place to start is by looking into scholarships for the majors or programs you want to focus your studies on. Almost all disciplines have a number of scholarships available. Furthermore, if you have chosen to pursue a field in which women are traditionally underrepresented , such as the STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and math), you will find that there are scholarships specifically set aside for women in these areas.

Next, try searching for scholarships that relate to your interests, hobbies, or special circumstances. For example, there are a number of weird, random scholarships out there for people who happen to have certain last names or characteristics (like being left-handed ), and there are even more scholarships for people who have more conventional qualities, such as an interest in art or music. Keep searching until you come up with a long list of scholarships that you can apply to.

Now that you know about your different options, read on to learn how to win these scholarships!

How to Win Scholarships

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Rule 1: Apply to Multiple Scholarships

Keep in mind that many scholarships are competitive, meaning there are hundreds—or thousands—of people applying for them. You can greatly increase your chances of winning a scholarship or two by applying for a large number of scholarships. We recommend applying to anywhere between five and 30 scholarships.

Rule 2: Be Meticulous

Follow the required instructions for every essay and question. Pay particular attention to supporting documents that you will need to send with your applications, and keep on top of deadlines. As mothers, you're short enough on free time as it is—don't make it worse by spending time on incomplete or incorrect applications that will get you nowhere!

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Rule 3: Keep Applying

Don't stop applying for scholarships just because you're in your second, third, or fourth year of college. In fact, there are many scholarships out there that are aimed specifically at students in the final years of their education. If you're able to continue bringing in new money sources throughout your academic career, you will end up with much less debt when you graduate.

Rule 4: Find Other Support

Keep an eye out for any other support that will help you. For example, some parents are eligible for government grants while they're studying.

You will likely find that you are not the only parent at your school—see if you can coordinate childcare with others so that you can get the most for your money. Also, see if your school offers any special aid or discounts for parents to provide their children with safe housing and hot meals. You may be surprised by how much your university or college will want to lend a helping hand!

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What's Next?

Now that you know about scholarships for moms, take a chance to learn about other scholarships and how to apply for college.

If you want to apply to some great scholarships not listed above, check out our guides to the National Merit Scholarship , McDonald's Scholarship , and Tylenol Scholarship .

Did you know that sometimes getting a scholarship is as easy as applying to your school of choice? Check out this list of schools that automatically offer scholarships based on grades and test scores .

Need a letter of recommendation for a scholarship? Here's how to get one .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Mary Ann holds a BA in Classics and Russian from the University of Notre Dame, and an MA from University College London. She has years of tutoring experience and is also passionate about travel and learning languages.

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Single Moms and Welfare Woes: A Higher-Education Dilemma

If earning a degree is key to getting single mothers—and their families—out of poverty, why is it so difficult for them to attend college?

single mom essay for college

Jacklyn Trainor was a 28-year-old single mother in a writing class I taught in 2014 at Housatonic Community College in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Trainor was raising two kids, juggling childcare, homework, and waitressing. (Because I’m open about my own struggles attending graduate school as a single parent, students often ask me for advice or share their experiences.) “I hated working dead-end jobs and barely getting by,” Trainor, whose last name back then was Canales, recently told me. “I really want to further my education to get a career and a better life for my kids.”

For Trainor, hard circumstances made achieving that goal difficult. She’d defaulted on a student loan a few years earlier from a false start in nursing school, so it was nearly impossible to qualify for financial aid to go back to college. But Trainor was lucky; her family offered to pay for a few classes at Housatonic Community College, or HCC.

Out of the 12 million single-parent families in the United States, the vast majority—more than 80 percent—are headed by women. These households are more likely than any other demographic group to fall below the poverty line . In fact, census data shows that roughly 40 percent of single-mother-headed families are poor . Why? Experts point to weak social-safety nets, inadequate child support, and low levels of education, among other factors.

Although most poor, single mothers today are employed, many of them are working in low-wage jobs, often in positions without benefits . Earning a college degree is typically the best route to a high-paying career but many of these women find it hard to squeeze classes into a schedule already packed with work and childcare. One study of 158 single-mother college students in New York found that 100 percent of the former welfare recipients who earned four-year degrees stopped relying on public-benefit programs, compared to 81 percent of those who got two-year degrees. If earning a degree is so effective in ending poor mothers’ reliance on welfare, why aren’t policymakers making it easier for low-income single moms to go college? The answer is complicated.

For single parents who rely on public assistance, college classes do not count as “work” in most states , so many of those who return to school lose access to benefits like childcare vouchers and cash assistance. The Welfare Reform Act of 1996, which limited recipients’ access to cash assistance , also restricted the definition of “work” to nine core categories . Work credit is largely limited to vocation-focused educational training, and only for a maximum of one year. Each state has its own specific regulations.

For Trainor, attending classes counted toward some of her work benefits. So, every two weeks, she would wait until the classroom emptied to ask me to sign her work-verification forms and confirm she’d been in school. To retain eligibility for cash assistance, the state of Connecticut requires that recipients meet two times a week with their caseworkers to provide documented proof of any hours they work, attend school, or search for a job.

Even complying with all of the complicated regulations doesn’t guarantee recipients receive benefits when they need them, as Jessica McLeod, a single mother in Boston, discovered. I first interviewed McLeod for my dissertation a few years back. She’d lived in a shelter before she enrolled in community college. After earning a 3.7 GPA in community college, she was accepted into the nursing program at Bay State College, a for-profit institution that primarily offers two-year degrees. As a full-time student at Bay State, McLeod relied on food stamps, cash assistance, and a childcare voucher for her 8-year-old daughter Alia.

“I went through three different caseworkers who were so nasty about my being a full-time student,” said McLeod, who’s now 38 and working full-time as a registered nurse. As with Trainor, the caseworkers had to verify McLeod’s work-participation paperwork to ensure she was fulfilling all of the benefit program’s requirements. And even though education programs like the one in which McLeod was enrolled can count toward those requirements, it seems that caseworkers often favor vocational training as opposed to college classes. “Unless you’re doing their training to become a home health aide … [the caseworkers] just want you working,” McLeod said. “Don’t they understand I’m going to college so that I don’t have to use these benefits anymore?”

Studies in Georgia and California show a similar lack of support among welfare caseworkers for poor mothers trying to earn college degrees. Slightly more than half of the recipients surveyed in the California study reported that their welfare caseworkers were a “hindrance” to their college success. In interviews with case managers in Georgia, Fiona Pearson, an associate professor of sociology at Central Connecticut State University, found that some admitted to discouraging single-mother recipients from pursuing educational opportunities and instead steering them toward paid work. “Even if they felt themselves that a particular [cash-assistance] participant should stay in school, they felt bound by [federal] policy to counsel them away from a four-year degree,” Pearson told me.

Indeed, according to Pearson, the federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program encourages caseworkers to focus on work versus education. In her paper, published in the journal Gender & Society in 2007, Pearson cited the 2006 law reauthorizing the program as the reason behind that shift in focus: “The TANF program was not intended to be a college scholarship program for postsecondary education,” the law reads.

As a nursing student, McLeod was required to document 20 hours per week of additional volunteer or work activities to remain eligible for welfare benefits. She said she always submitted those forms on time. Still, the state kept terminating her benefits, saying she’d failed to fulfill the requirements or submit the necessary forms.

“It’s an awful feeling to get that letter in the mail, saying your childcare voucher has been terminated,” said McLeod, adding that she spent hours in various offices trying to get her benefits straightened out, sometimes even missing school. Finally, McLeod found a legal-aid attorney who managed to reinstate her benefits after talking to officials at the Massachusetts Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA), which oversees the state’s welfare programs.

The DTA doesn’t comment on individual cases, but Thomas Mills, the department’s spokesman, emphasized its commitment to “helping those in need gain the skills and experience necessary to obtain and maintain economic self-sufficiency.” He added that “gaining an education is an essential component to escaping poverty, and DTA encourages clients to take advantage of educational activities during their time-limited benefits.” (McLeod no longer relies on food stamps, childcare, or cash assistance.)

Until 1996, most welfare recipients could pursue a four-year degree under the Job Opportunities and Basic Skills Training program, though some states limited higher-education opportunities to associate’s degrees. Just before welfare reform, 649,000 student parents were receiving cash assistance while enrolled full-time in education programs. Today, there are more parents than ever enrolled in college— one study estimates 4.8 million. But only 35,000 full-time students receive TANF aid, largely because of the policy reform. This trend can be seen at higher-education institutions across the country. The City University of New York, for example, had 27,000 welfare recipients enrolled in 1995 . By 2000, the number had fallen to somewhere between 5,000 and 6,000. It’s hovered around that number ever since.

There is one federal program— TRIO —aimed at helping disadvantaged students “progress through the academic pipeline,” but it’s generally earmarked for those who are low-income, the first in their families to go to college, or disabled. While many single mothers would probably qualify for TRIO support because they’re low-income, the program doesn’t target service at their specific needs. The program’s website bears no specific mention of “student parents.”

Meanwhile, experts suggest that most of America’s postsecondary institutions are ill-equipped to meet the needs of the growing numbers of student parents—which according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research now comprise a whopping 26 percent of the country’s overall undergraduate-student population . (Colleges appear unable to deal with and accommodate poor students in general , including those who are homeless or rely on food stamps , despite their growing numbers.)

The limited on-campus support helps explain why so few student parents complete their programs on time; just 4 percent of student parents in bachelor’s-degree programs graduate within six years, according to Autumn Green, who oversees the Center for Residential Student Parent Programs at Endicott College in Massachusetts. “We haven’t changed the way we design and provide college education,” Green said, reflecting on the country’s higher-education system. “It’s still geared toward childless 18-to-24-year-olds who are supported by their parents.”

Single parents are more likely to attend community rather than four-year residential colleges, in part because the former tend to cost less and feature more evening and part-time options, but also because targeted resources are more widely available at the latter. On-campus childcare, for instance, is widely available at community colleges in some states . It’s unclear how many single mothers would seek out or stay in four-year degree programs if childcare were more accessible at those campuses, but chances are such resources would make a bachelor’s degree a lot more appealing to student parents.

Endicott offers one of the few comprehensive residential-college programs in the U.S. designed specifically for single parents. The “Keys to Degrees” initiative arranges on-campus family housing, academic supports, and childcare or school for the kids, who eat for free with their parents in campus dining halls. Keys for Degrees boasts 100 percent employment after graduation, according to Green, and while many participants do rely on public assistance during their time in school, none of its graduates report using public benefits. The challenge is bringing highly successful resource-intensive programs like this one to scale. The Endicott program can only serve 10 students at a time.

Other schools are finding ways to support student parents by allocating money from their own budgets, too. In 2011, Portland State University—where more than a fifth of the students are parents with dependent children—increased funding to expand its Resource Center for Students with Children . The university now offers a range of services targeted at student parents, from emergency loans and childcare subsidies to family counseling and even children’s-clothing exchanges.

“Our biggest challenge is getting the word out about our programs and services,” said Lisa Wittoroff, a licensed clinical social worker who oversees the resource center. Student parents’ unique needs “can be invisible unless they have their kids with them. You don’t check a box when you apply that says you have a child. And some of them are hiding [their circumstances] because of the stigma attached to being a student parent.” Indeed, according to Pearson, some students don’t reveal their family status because they don’t want to be seen as “playing the ‘student-parent card,’ asking professors for favors even though they might actually need special accommodations.”

Amid limited resources at the colleges themselves, nonprofit organizations are also working to accommodate the needs of single-parent students. The Jeremiah Program , a Minnesota-based nonprofit, was founded in 1997 after interviews with local single-mother students revealed how little access they had to safe and stable housing and childcare. “We recognized that single-mother students had needs beyond what a typical admissions officer or career counselor could address,” said Gloria Perez, the program’s president and CEO.

The Jeremiah Program now serves roughly 300 women and children annually at locations in St. Paul and Minneapolis. The families are typically housed there and receive help with early-childhood education, academic guidance, and career counseling. (The organization is also expanding into Austin, Texas; Fargo, North Dakota; and Boston, Massachusetts.) “We’ve found that creating cohorts of women with children who are all going to school really boosts morale and creates a sense of community, the feeling that they are not alone,” Perez said. And the model seems to work: Almost all the program’s graduates earn some sort of college degree, while the remainder complete certificate programs. More than 90 percent of its recent graduates are employed or continuing their education.

When I was applying to Ph.D. programs in 2008, a former professor of mine actually advised me not to mention my status as a single parent—even though I planned to study the sociology of single-parent-headed families. During the first two years of my Ph.D. coursework, I sat through classes worrying about having to pick up my 2-year-old daughter and finish my research paper while she napped. I rarely found the time to attend on-campus lectures or study sessions, let-alone extracurricular departmental activities like Red Sox games and camping weekends in the Berkshires.

For the majority of single-parent students without access to comprehensive resources like those at the Jeremiah program, day-to-day responsibilities remain overwhelming. “Balancing everything is so hard,” Trainor, my former student, told me. “It’s like: W ake up, drop off at daycare, go to school, pick up from daycare, drop off to father or grandma, go to work, pick up, repeat … I felt like there was so much pressure on me, and I was alone.”

I recall extending a deadline for Trainor, who excelled in my writing course, after she had to miss a class because her daughter was sick. But  deadlines in her algebra course were harder to meet, she told me. Between the kids and her work schedule, she didn’t have time to finish her math homework on the library computers; the assignments required Internet access, which she couldn’t afford.

Basic needs like Internet access for homework assignments are taken for granted in the mom-and-dad-pay-tuition-and-visit-on-parents’-weekend model common at today’s colleges. A 2001 study of welfare recipients in central New York who were pursuing postsecondary degrees found that nearly three-fourths of the respondents cited an inability to juggle demands of work, family, and school as their reason for dropping out. Other common reasons included inadequate childcare or insufficient childcare funds; a lack of academic support; and feeling misunderstood or undervalued in class. “If you have a student who is hungry or who doesn’t have a safe place to live or care for their child, they can’t really be a student,” said Endicott’s Green, who also pointed to the cost of textbooks and supplies.

Between 2007 and 2012, Central Connecticut State’s Pearson interviewed 40 student parents attending community and state colleges in Connecticut, and found many of the same unmet needs. “Why don’t we provide student parents some of the same resources we offer to student athletes?” she said, citing services like priority registration and additional tutoring as resources that could help student parents to succeed.

I lost touch with Trainor for a while after she was my student. By the time I reconnected with her for this story, she had moved from Connecticut to Massachusetts, where her mother and brother live, remarried and was paying off her student loans. Once again eligible for financial aid, she’s now enrolled as a full-time student at Springfield Technical and Community College.

McLeod, too, has recently gone back to school—in her case, as a part-time student pursuing a bachelor’s degree at New Hampshire’s Saint Anselm College while continuing to work full-time. Now that her daughter is in a school program that starts at 7 a.m. and ends at 5 p.m., she no longer struggles to find childcare. “Looking back, I don’t even know how I got through it,” McLeod said. “But it’s what you do for your kids.”

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Support Single Mothers in College to Make Education More Equitable for All

To truly address the pressing issues of equity, access, affordability, and completion facing higher education, a growing movement of researchers, philanthropists, student activists, and college administrators are working to integrate family caregiving and support services into a 21st-century vision of college.

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By Barbara Gault & Jennifer Zeisler May 3, 2019

single mom essay for college

Today’s college communities include 1.7 million single mothers striving to earn degrees that could secure better futures for their families, but only 8 percent of them complete school within six years, due in large part to the difficulties of balancing parenting with schoolwork and jobs.

The challenge is particularly pressing for people of color: Nearly four in ten Black female college students are single mothers, and Latina and Native American women students are also more likely to be juggling parenthood and school without the support of a partner.

Unless colleges and policymakers do more to support single mothers in college—of whom 90 percent have low incomes—they will continue to struggle to access the education that is essential for economic success and a more equitable society.

Emerging evidence suggests that investing in single mothers’ educational attainment would be a worthy economic development priority for current and future generations. A recent analysis by the Institute for Women's Policy Research found that single mothers who complete associate degrees earn $329,498 more over their lifetimes and are 38 percent less likely to live in poverty than single mothers with only high school diplomas.

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These benefits are even more pronounced for single mothers who earn bachelor's degrees. Society reaps savings as well: Investments in child care and case management, which dramatically improve graduation rates, pay for themselves in tax savings and reduced public benefit spending when single mothers graduate. Monroe Community College in Rochester, New York, for example, found that student parents who used campus child care were three times more likely to graduate than those who didn’t receive child care.  

Colleges, communities, foundations, and policymakers have made some strides in increasing educational opportunities for single mothers, but they must be encouraged to do more. Here are five actions that can make a difference:

1. Collect Better Data

Colleges must start tracking how many of their students are parents. This information could help measure the need for services, such as campus child care, which is declining in availability despite growing demand; a 2016 survey of 99 campus child care centers found that the average waiting list included 80 children .

Data can also help schools track performance, persistence, and completion outcomes for students who have children, and proactively offer targeted case management, academic support, or emergency financial assistance when student parents are struggling.

Monroe Community College in Rochester, New York, offers an example. It tracks students’ parent status, as well as the ages of children, in an enrollment survey every term.

2. Consider Parenting Costs in Financial Aid and Student Supports

Colleges can also take steps to understand single parents’ unique living costs, including housing, transportation, and child care expenses, and make sure they are considered in financial aid decisions. One student parent described securing enough scholarship and grant money to pay for part of her educational expenses, but still accruing student loan debt to pay for child care. For many working and parenting students, living expenses far exceed the cost of tuition.

Mount Wachusett Community College offers scholarships specifically to help students cover child care expenses. LA Valley Community College provides students with free diapers, children’s books and clothing, and spaces for studying or playing. As one student parent wrote in The Washington Post , “For me, the hardest sacrifice has been postponing my college degree so I could afford to pay for my daughter’s daily needs—such as diapers, clothes, food and, above all, child care.”

3. Collaborate With Communities

Colleges can make progress through modest efforts on campus and by working with their broader communities to embrace the central role that family care plays in the lives and success of their students. For example, Lane Community College in Oregon has a resource and referral office on campus to help students seeking child care. Miami Dade College partners with Single Stop to connect students to care and help them apply for federal child care subsidies.

In addition to funding innovative programs and outcome evaluations, foundations at both the community and national level can help foster community connections by using their convening power to connect stakeholders. For example, ECMC Foundation has brought together organizations across multiple disciplines to discuss research and practices aimed at improving postsecondary educational outcomes for single mothers. A recent grant to Education Design Lab will engage  other ECMC Foundation grantees as subject matter experts in an effort to marry best practices and research with design thinking.

4. Provide College Support Without Work Requirements

Most single mothers in college spend nine hours per day , on average, on caregiving and housework, limiting the amount of time they can spend on paid work and school. Yet many states have counterproductive policies that put even more time pressure on single parents when they reach out for help. Some of this is rooted in lingering, often implicit, attitudes that low-income single mothers, particularly those of color, must be closely monitored to ensure that social supports are used appropriately.

In Washington, officials require college students to work 20 hours per week—on top of attending school—to access child care subsidies, making it harder for them to graduate. This policy remains in place, despite the state passing legislation designed to dramatically increase the number of adults with postsecondary credentials by 2023 . But in an important first step toward addressing this issue, Washington lawmakers passed a budget earlier this week with a provision that would allow single parents pursuing vocational credentials to access subsidies without work requirements.

States that tie support to work requirements undermine their own efforts to spread college education to all of their citizens, not just single mothers. States such as Kentucky and Georgia provide an alternative approach. They have changed their public child care subsidy rules to make it easier for student parents to pay for child care while in school.

5. Encourage Proactive Policies for Student Parent Success

Some federal and state policymakers have made great advances in helping colleges with the success of student parents. In 2018, for example, Congress passed an omnibus spending package that tripled the funding for Child Care Access Means Parents in Schools (CCAMPIS), the only federal program that promotes student success through child care. Now funded at $50 million per year, CCAMPIS can make resources available to a larger number of campuses, but the funds still only reach a fraction of those who need them.

The governors of California and New York have both introduced proposals to increase support for student parents. Minnesota’s Postsecondary Child Care Grant provides funding to eligible parents pursuing undergraduate or graduate degrees. Maine recently passed its Act to Reduce Child Poverty by Leveraging Investments in Families Today (LIFT) , which provides financial aid to low-income parents who do not qualify for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF).

Philanthropists should encourage forward-looking policies like these and other programs that lead to educational success for all students, including single mothers.

An Investment for Generations

By doing more to address the needs of students who are single mothers, colleges will achieve better and more equitable educational outcomes and contribute to the economic success of individuals, families, and the country. It will also better position schools to meet the demands of a changing student body; nearly half of undergraduates are now considered independent adult students , who often face formidable financial, family, and time demands, even if they aren’t raising young children. Philanthropists can play a role as thought leaders, conveners, and investors in family-conscious campuses, programs, and communities. Helping single moms helps us all and will pay off for generations.

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20 Scholarships for Students from Single-Parent Households

According to the Pew Research Center , approximately one quarter of children in the United States are raised in single-parent families. While it’s not as uncommon as it once was, growing up as the child of a single parent can carry its own set of unique opportunities and challenges. Some children report closer familial relationships, while others struggle to make ends meet. For single-parent families that only have one income, educational costs can represent an especially significant burden. Fortunately, there are a number of high-quality scholarships that provide financial assistance to students raised by single moms, dads, or other single guardians.

To qualify for many of these single-parent scholarships, you’ll need to complete the free application for federal student aid (FAFSA®) and calculate your expected family contribution (EFC) to your college education. Not sure how to begin? Use our custom tools to figure out your EFC and answer the FAFSA®’s trickiest questions . Then sign up for Going Merry to find even more scholarships specifically for you. 

20 Scholarships for Children of Single Parents  

It doesn’t matter if you lost a parent to illness or an accident, or if your parents simply divorced when you were young: These awards apply to dependent children from single-parent households of all kinds. So, if you were raised by a single mom or dad, start your scholarship search here. 

1. Vincent Bennett Jr. Memorial Scholarship

Amount: $20,000

Provider : First Responders Children’s Foundation

Eligibility Requirements :

  • Minimum GPA of 2.7 on a 4.0 scale
  • Enrolled or planning to enroll in a college, university, or technical or vocational institution
  • Child of a law enforcement officer or firefighter who died in the line of duty

Application Requirements: Transcript, 3 letters of recommendation, student aid report, financial aid award letter, proof of U.S. citizenship or legal permanent residency, proof of acceptance or enrollment, personal statement, headshot, list of honors and awards, picture of first responder’s ID or letter from employer

Named for Vincent Bennett Jr., a passionate member of the First Responders Children’s Foundation, this four-year award provides financial support to one exceptional college freshman each academic year. To be eligible for the Vincent Bennett Jr. Memorial Scholarship, you must be the child of a firefighter or law enforcement officer who was killed while on duty. While there’s no required field of study, students pursuing engineering will be given preference. Community service and high academic achievement will also help set you apart.

2. The Toby Merrill Scholarship

Amount: $9,700

Provider : The Toby Merrill Scholarship Fund

  • Minimum GPA of 2.5 on a 4.0 scale
  • Enrolled or planning to enroll full-time in a college or university

Application Requirements: Essay, list of extracurricular activities, list of honors and awards

Toby Merrill was a committed dad, husband, and friend who tragically lost his life to cancer. To honor Toby, his family and friends created the need-based Toby Merrill Scholarship to help students who have lost a parent pay for their higher education. Because Toby was committed to community service, scholarship recipients will need to complete 10 volunteer hours each year to renew their scholarship. While it’s not a requirement for entry, the award gives priority to students experiencing hardship due to bereavement and/or cancer. 

3. First Responders Children’s Foundation Scholarship

Amount: Varies

  • Biological child, adopted child, or stepchild of a first responder who died in the line of duty 

If you’re the child of a first responder who was killed in the line of duty, the First Responders Children’s Foundation Scholarship could help you pay for college. The award amount varies each year, but the maximum award amount is $6,250, and it can be renewed annually for up to four years. Priority goes to applicants whose parent passed away while on the job. (Stepchildren of deceased first responders qualify, too, as long as they were listed as a dependent on tax returns prior to the first responder’s death.)

4. Jennifer Casey Alderman Scholarship Award

Amount: $10,000

Provider : Twisted Pink

  • Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, or Tennessee resident
  • Minimum GPA of 3.0 on a 4.0 scale
  • Child of a parent who died from metastatic breast cancer 

Application Requirements: Essay

Twisted Pink works to further research and access to care for people with metastatic breast cancer. In honor of Jennifer Casey Alderman, a mother and wife who lost her life to the disease, the organization created the Jennifer Casey Alderman Scholarship Award . To apply, you’ll need to write an essay about any topic of your choosing. (Need help with your essay? Use Going Merry’s essay tips to help you write the perfect one.) You’ll also need to provide proof of your eligibility via an obituary, death certificate, or letter from your parent’s medical oncologist. Scholarship recipients can renew the award each subsequent year for $2,500 annually. 

5. Ava’s Grace Scholarship

Amount: $5,000

Provider : The Scholarship Foundation of St. Louis

  • Missouri or Illinois resident (limited to the following Illinois counties: Bond, Calhoun, Clinton, Jersey, Macoupin, Madison, Monroe, or St. Clair counties) 
  • Minimum GPA of 2.0 on a 4.0 scale
  • Enrolled or planning to enroll in a college or university
  • Child of a parent who is or has been incarcerated in a U.S. penitentiary (state or federal)

Application Requirements: Transcript, completed FAFSA®, student aid report, personal statement, resume

The Scholarship Foundation of St. Louis sponsors the Ava’s Grace Scholarship for students who have at least one incarcerated parent. The award was named for Ava, who founded the scholarship in response to her own mother’s incarceration and her desire to use education to break the incarceration cycle. To qualify, you must have been a resident of Missouri or a few select counties in Illinois for a minimum of two years. Priority goes to students with an expected family contribution (EFC) of $1,500 or less. (If your EFC is greater than $1,500, you can still apply, but you’ll need to demonstrate extenuating circumstances.) In your personal statement, write about how having an incarcerated parent has affected your education, development, and goals for your future. This grant program is renewable for up to eight semesters. 

6. The 9/11 Promise Scholarship

Provider : 9/11 Promise

  • Under the age of 25
  • Child of a first responder or armed-services member who died in the line of duty 

Application Requirements: 2 letters of recommendation, essay, personal statement, list of honors and awards

The 9/11 Promise Scholarship was originally created to honor those who lost their lives in the 9/11 terrorist attack in New York City. Today, the award goes to 11 deserving young students whose lives have been irreparably changed due to the loss of a first-responder parent. The amounts vary between $5,000 and $15,000. This college scholarship can be used to fund undergraduate or graduate studies as well as to finance a trade or vocational degree. The essay prompt asks students to write about what they’ve learned by having a first responder for a parent. (You’ll also need to provide proof of death and documentation of your parent’s service.)

7. ReWritten Scholarship

Provider : ReWritten

  • Enrolled or planning to enroll in a college, university, or trade or vocational school
  • Child raised by a single mother

Application Requirements: Personal statement

Statistically, children raised without fathers are more likely to live in low-income communities, face imprisonment, die by suicide, or run away from home — but ReWritten wants to re-write that story. To support students from fatherless households, they’ve created the ReWritten Scholarship . The award ranges from $500 to $5,000 and is intended to help college students gain access to a brighter future. To apply, students should submit a written plan for their higher education and demonstrate financial need. 

8. Life Lessons Scholarship Program

Provider : Life and Health Insurance Foundation for Education

  • 17 to 24 years of age
  • Child of a parent or legal guardian who is deceased 

If you’ve lost a parent or guardian, the Life Lessons Scholarship Program is aimed at helping you afford higher education. This award is open to both undergraduate and graduate students. To apply, write an essay or record a three-minute video discussing how the death of your parent impacted your life and your plans for your future. This award is sponsored by Life and Health Insurance Foundation for Education, so if relevant, be sure to explain how a lack of appropriate life insurance impacted your family financially. The award amount varies, but the total amount for all prizes (usually around 40 total) will be $250,000. 

9. The Family Scholarship Fund

Provider : The American Society of Safety Professionals Foundation

  • Child of a parent who died in a workplace incident

Application Requirements: Transcript, essay

As part of their mission to support those in occupational safety or health careers, the American Society of Safety Professionals Foundation created the Family Scholarship Fund . The fund works to offset college costs for students who have lost a parent in a workplace incident. The award amount varies by year and financial need. Because application requirements are fairly open-ended (students can be pursuing a degree either full-time or part-time, for example), the selection committee considers each application on an individual basis. For the best chance of winning, write an essay detailing how the loss of your parent affected your life.   

10. Operation Second Chance Scholarship

Amount: $3,500

Provider : Operation Second Chance

  • Enrolled as a high-school senior
  • Child of a veteran who died from injuries related to combat deployment

Application Requirements: Transcript, student aid report, proof of acceptance or enrollment

Operation Second Chance works to support veterans and their families. To that end, the nonprofit offers its Operation Second Chance Scholarship to the children of veterans killed in combat. To apply, you must be a high school senior planning to pursue higher education in the upcoming school year.  There is no GPA or standardized test score requirement, and students can be planning to attend any kind of post-secondary school: community colleges, universities, vocational schools, and trade schools are all fair game for eligibility.  

11. Colwell Law Single Parent Scholarship

Amount: $1,000

Provider : Colwell Law

  • Enrolled in a college or university
  • Child raised by a single parent

Application Requirements: Transcript, essay, resume

Colwell Law, a firm that specializes in family and divorce practice, understands how much of a financial burden it can be for single moms and dads to send their kids to college. To help bridge that gap in financial support, they endow the Colwell Law Single Parent Scholarship . The award is open to children of single parents as well as to single parents themselves. The application includes an essay where applicants should share how living in a single-parent household has shaped their values, character, and goals. 

12. The Quell Foundation Survivor Scholarship

Provider : The Quell Foundation Irene Pasierb Memorial Fund

  • Minimum GPA of 3.4 on a 4.0 scale
  • Child of a parent, caregiver, or sibling who died due to suicide

Application Requirements: Transcript, personal statement

The Quell Foundation Irene Pasierb Memorial Fund is passionate about improving education and reducing the stigma around mental illness. The Quell Foundation Survivor Scholarship is given annually to students who have lost a parent, caregiver, or sibling to suicide. The scholarship opportunity is open to current high school seniors planning to pursue a bachelor’s degree, as well as to current undergraduate and graduate students. Your personal statement should include how your family member’s death has affected your life and education. (Refer to our tips to craft a compelling personal statement that will help you stand out from the crowd.) 

13. Encore Protection Victims of Drunk Driving Scholarship

Provider : Encore Protection

  • Child of a parent who died due to a drunk-driving accident  

Encore Protection provides roadside assistance to drivers across the United States. As part of their goal to improve driver safety, Encore is passionate about ending drunk driving. In an effort to support this cause, they’ve created the Encore Protection Victims of Drunk Driving Scholarship . This award helps students who have lost a parent to a drunk driving accident afford post-secondary education. To apply, you’ll need to write an essay addressing the effects of drunk driving — both on you and on the community at large. 

14. The Lisa Michelle Memorial Fund Scholarship

Provider : The Lisa Michelle Memorial Fund

  • Child of a parent who died due to alcohol, drug, or prescription drug abuse

Application Requirements: Transcript, proof of acceptance or enrollment, essay

The Lisa Michelle Memorial Fund was created in honor of Lisa Michelle, a mother who tragically lost her battle with addiction. The Lisa Michelle Memorial Fund Scholarship supports one deserving student each year who has lost a parent to alcohol or drug abuse. This scholarship opportunity asks students to write an essay about their experience of losing a parent to addiction. In your statement, be sure to explain how a college education will impact both you and your family.  

15. FOZA Scholarship for Maternal Mental Health Awareness

Provider : Friends of Zayne Adams, Inc. 

  • Black/African American, Hispanic/Latinx, and/or Native American
  • Enrolled or planning to enroll in a college, university, or trade or vocational school 
  • Child of a parent who died by postpartum depression-related suicide 

Postpartum depression is a common and often undiscussed illness that affects up to approximately 15% of new mothers, according to the National Library of Medicine . Zayne Adams’s mother was one of them. After he lost her in the first month of his life, his mother’s friends and family came together to create the FOZA Scholarship for Maternal Mental Health Awareness . This scholarship award helps children who have lost a mother due to postpartum depression-related suicide. To apply, you’ll need to write an essay expressing why community service is important to you. This award is open to students pursuing undergraduate, associate’s, and/or trade degrees. 

16. Tuition and Fee Exemption for Children of Deceased or Disabled Veterans Grant

Amount: Full tuition and fees

Provider : State of Indiana

  • Indiana resident
  • Under the age of 33 
  • Child of a U.S. armed-forces member who died or was permanently disabled in the line of duty

Application Requirements: Completed FAFSA®, student aid report

Unlike a lot of scholarships on this list, the Tuition and Fee Exemption for Children of Deceased or Disabled Veterans Grant is a grant program funded by the Indiana Department of Education. This program was specifically created for students who both reside and plan to pursue a college degree in the state of Indiana. To maintain eligibility, students must remain enrolled in a degree program at a public university or college. If you qualify for this grant, you will have up to eight years to use the assistance, so you can pause your studies at any time and come back to school later as needed.

17. Redrick Leijon Nicholas Williams Scholarship

Provider : Greater Emmanuel Temple Church

  • Los Angeles county resident 
  • Black/African American male 

Application Requirements: Transcript, 3 letters of recommendation, essay, video essay

Greater Emmanuel Temple Church, a cornerstone of the local Black community in Los Angeles, created the Redrick Leijon Nicholas Williams Scholarship to support Black men raised by single mothers. The award gets its name from a strong community leader and Greater Emmanuel Temple Church member who worked tirelessly to help his single mother support his four younger siblings. To honor his strength, this award goes to one graduating high school senior each year. You must be entering either a two- or four-year program to qualify. In addition to a written essay, students must submit a 90-second video about their mother, including her sacrifices and the role she played in the applicant’s life. 

18. The Foster Hope Award

Amount: $500

Provider : Foster Hope

  • Wisconsin resident
  • Enrolled in a college or university 
  • Have experienced an adverse life event

Application Requirements: Transcript, 2 letters of recommendation, proof of residency, essay

Originally created for children raised in the foster care system, the Foster Hope Award has been expanded to include all Wisconsin students who have experienced childhood hardship. To win it, you must have experienced an adverse life event — like losing a parent — and be able to write an essay explaining how you’ve demonstrated hope in the face of adversity. Applicants who are a resident of Central Wisconsin or have attended the Royal Family Kids Camp will receive preference during the selection process. You’ll also need to be attending a college or university in-state.  

19. Iraq and Afghanistan Service Grant

Provider : U.S. Department of Education

  • Child of a U.S. armed forces member who died during service in Iraq or Afghanistan
  • Ineligible for the Pell Grant based on your expected family contribution, but meet all other Pell Grant eligibility requirements 

Application Requirements: Completed FAFSA®, student aid report, proof of U.S. citizenship or legal permanent residency

The Iraq and Afghanistan Service Grant is a grant program funded by the U.S. Department of Education. To be eligible, you must not qualify for the Pell Grant due to your EFC but must meet the other Pell Grant requirements for financial need and U.S. citizenship. The award amount varies each year, but cannot exceed the amount of your tuition. If you qualify, you’re eligible to receive this grant for up to 12 semesters. All you have to do to renew is continue to fill out the FAFSA® each year. 

20. Children of Veterans Tuition Grant

Provider : State of Michigan

  • Michigan resident 
  • 16 to 26 years old 
  • Child of a U.S. armed-forces member who died or was permanently disabled due to service 

The Children of Veterans Tuition Grant is a grant program designed to help Michigan students earn the college degrees of their dreams. To qualify, you must have a parent who is a veteran and who died or was permanently disabled during the course of their service. The award is renewable for up to four years or for $11,200 as long as the recipient maintains an overall GPA of 2.25 or higher. The scholarship amount varies based on financial need as determined by the FAFSA® and your course load, but the maximum for a full-time student is $2,800 per year. 

Get more scholarships delivered to you with Going Merry

Losing a parent — either to death or to personal circumstances — can come with unimaginable grief, not to mention serious financial hardship. That’s especially true if you grew up in a low-income community. Only having one breadwinner can make pursuing a college education more difficult, but it doesn’t have to prevent you from receiving your degree. Thanks to the growing number of scholarship opportunities for children from single-parent homes, financial assistance is within reach. 

If you need help keeping track of application deadlines, making sense of financial aid, or finding other relevant scholarships, Going Merry has you covered. Our intuitive, easy-to-use platform curates awards just for you based on your financial need, personal preferences, and interests.Simplify your scholarship search and application process by signing up for Going Merry today. 

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Single Parenting — Being Raised by a Single Mother: Personal Experience

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Being Raised by a Single Mother: Personal Experience

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Words: 919 |

Published: Aug 14, 2023

Words: 919 | Pages: 2 | 5 min read

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The journey to self-discovery: coping with father's absence, outcomes of being raised by a single mother, final thoughts.

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single mom essay for college

Single mom says state wants her to pay back nearly $22K in unemployment benefits

NASHVILLE, Tenn. ( WSMV /Gray News) - Like millions of people across Tennessee, when the pandemic hit, Marquisha Mccullough fell on hard times after getting let go from her job selling insurance.

“I was selling supplemental insurance policies to business owners who had employees,” Mccullough said. “And I was expecting at the time and then the lockdown came, and everything froze. It was very stressful and a lot to process losing my job.”

So, as a single mom, and having just moved into a new apartment, Mccullough applied for unemployment benefits, and received payments from the beginning of April 2020, until late June 2021.

“When I first applied, that’s when Donald Trump had signed into legislation the CARES Act,” said Mccullough. “That’s when 1099 contractors and independent workers for the first time ever in U.S. history were able to take advantage of the COVID-19 unemployment benefits.”

But in November of 2021, the Tennessee Department of Labor issued a decision stating that Mccullough “was not eligible to receive pandemic unemployment assistance benefits.” As a result, the department ruled that she had been overpaid and was at fault, and because of that, her request to have the claim waived was subsequently denied.

On appeal, however, that decision was overruled in December 2023, and the tribunal hearing her case found Mccullough “was not at fault in establishing the overpayment.”

Accordingly, the case was remanded to the department for an investigation into whether she qualified for a waiver.

A spokesperson for the Department of Labor said an agent emailed Mccullough on April 15, 2024, to remind her that she could still file a waiver.

However, the department said she did not complete the form and that other requested documentation about her employment status had not been received.

Mccullough said she does not recall getting an email about the waiver and that she has submitted everything she has from that period between 2020 and 2021, and the only thing she has gotten in recent months from the Department of Labor are intimidating collection notices.

“This last letter, it’s in all caps: FINAL, FINAL, FINAL,” Mccullough said. “I feel like I’m part of some organized mob like these people are after me, and I’m like I can’t sleep.”

Now, Mccullogh says the department is garnishing her new claim for unemployment benefits after recently losing her job again, as well as her income tax refund.

“Four years later you come back and say I owe you $22,00? I’m going to be on the street, I’ll be pretty messed up,” Mccullough said. “I didn’t break a law, I didn’t commit fraud, it’s not my fault. So, what’s really going on?’

WSMV4 Investigates requested an interview with the Department of Labor to ask questions about unemployment overpayments during the height of the pandemic, but no one with the agency agreed to go on camera.

The department provided these figures:

Number of claims filed between March 2020 and July 2021: 1,256,789

Dollar amount of claims paid between March 2020 and September 2020: $1.6 Billion

Number of claims overpaid between March 2020 and July 2021: 23,799

Dollar amount of overpayments between March 2020 and July 2021: $63,177,227

The department also said that Tennessee offers a non-fault waiver option in cases of underemployment benefit overpayment, and “a claimant has 90 days from the determination of a non-fault overpayment to provide the department with a completed waiver form for consideration.”

For her part, Mccullough claims she has provided the department with everything needed since the beginning to prove she was eligible and entitled to unemployment benefits under the CARES Act.

Mccullough also said between the appeals, waiver forms and collection notices, the process has become so complicated that she is not sure what the department needs, and a lot of what they are asking for is long gone.

“I cannot complete a waiver form because it is asking for bills, and my bills are not the same now, and I don’t have bill statements from three and four years ago. I didn’t know I was going to need to keep them,” Mccullough said.

Frustrated, Mccullough says she is not certain what she is going to do now, fearing she is quickly running out of options, and unable to pay off the money the Department of Labor Insists that she still owes.

“This is just wrong, there is no doubt about it,” Mccullough said. “And I wonder like how many other people are they doing this too? It’s not right.”

Copyright 2024 WSMV via Gray Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

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A blond woman with her hair tied back, wearing a loose suit jacket over a low-cut white top, turns to the side and looks away from the camera.

Sarah McLachlan Is Resurfacing

The Canadian songwriter became a superstar through a series of defiant decisions. After slowing down to be a single mother, she has returned to the stage and studio.

Sarah McLachlan is on tour celebrating “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy,” the 1993 album that turned her into an avatar for the sensitive, mysterious singer-songwriters of ’90s radio. Credit... Alana Paterson for The New York Times

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By Grayson Haver Currin

Reporting from Vancouver, British Columbia

  • Published May 30, 2024 Updated May 31, 2024

Sarah McLachlan was just 30 hours from beginning her first full-band tour in a decade, and she could not sing.

She was in the final heave of preparation for eight weeks of shows stretching through late November that commemorate “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy,” the sophisticated 1993 album that turned her into an avatar for the sensitive, mysterious singer-songwriters of ’90s radio. But three days into a string of seven-hour rehearsals, her voice collapsed, the high notes so long her hallmark dissolving into a pitchy wheeze.

So onstage in a decommissioned Vancouver hockey arena, a day before a sold-out benefit for her three nonprofit music schools, McLachlan only mouthed along to her songs, shaking her head but smiling whenever she reached for a note and missed.

“It only goes away when I project, push out,” she said backstage in a near-whisper following the first of the day’s mostly mute run-throughs. She slipped a badge that read “Vocal Rest” around her neck and winked. “Luckily, that’s only a third of what I do.”

For the last two decades, McLachlan, 56, has contentedly receded from the spotlight and the music industry she helped reimagine with the women-led festival Lilith Fair . Since 2008, she has been a single mother to India and Taja, two daughters from her former marriage. With rippling muscles that suggest a lean triathlete, she is now a devoted surfer, hiker and skier who talks about pushing her body until it breaks. Though she writes every morning, waking up with a double espresso at the piano in her home outside Vancouver, she has focused on motherhood and the Sarah McLachlan School of Music , offering free instruction to thousands of Canadian children since 2002.

A few years ago, she finished a set of songs about a pernicious breakup but reckoned the world didn’t need them; she hasn’t released an album of original material since 2014. “What do I want to talk about?” she said months earlier during a video interview from her home, swaying in a hammock chair. “I’m just another wealthy, middle-aged white woman.”

McLachlan, though, now may be on the verge of a renaissance. She is amassing a $20 million endowment for her schools, and exhaustive interviews for a Lilith Fair documentary just wrapped. In a year, her youngest, Taja, will head to college. For the second time, McLachlan’s life is opening toward music.

A woman in a white dress fronts a band on a large stage, and the screens behind her are lit up with three images of her.

While revisiting her catalog to build this two-hour concert, which begins with a clutch of personal favorites before pivoting into a muscular interpretation of “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy,” she flew to Los Angeles for multiple sessions with the producer Tony Berg, who has worked with Phoebe Bridgers and Aimee Mann. She has cut at least a dozen songs there, including a gently psychedelic cover of Judee Sill’ s “The Kiss.” She has more to write. “I’m so energized by music, now that I’m living and breathing it every moment,” she said. “It’s a very different feeling.”

During the day’s second rehearsal, however, she tempered her enthusiasm with tacit worry about her voice. She told her tour manager that Taja would soon be backstage, probably with a prednisone prescription. “Mom, I’m already here,” the 16-year-old screamed, 20 rows back in an otherwise empty arena. “I have your medicine! Do you want it?”

McLachlan couldn’t hear her. She nodded to her band and started a song called “Fallen,” humming to herself.

DURING SUMMER BREAK between sixth and seventh grades, McLachlan’s friends in Nova Scotia labeled her a lesbian. She had indeed kissed another girl, practicing for a boy. She instantly became a pariah, a middle-class kid from a conservative family surrounded by wealthy bullies.

“I became poison. Then they started calling me ‘Medusa,’ because I had long, curly hair,” she said. “There was physical abuse, too. I thought, ‘I am on my own.’”

There was little quarter at home. McLachlan was the youngest of three adopted children that she said her father never wanted. Since he tormented her older brothers, her mother — unhappy with marriage, depressed by circumstance — responded to her daughter with equal disdain, ensuring everyone was miserable. “I didn’t have a relationship with my father, because my mother wouldn’t allow it. If I showed him any attention, she wouldn’t speak to me for a week,” McLachlan said, lips pursed.

Music, however, became her refuge. She graduated from ukulele at 4 to classical guitar at 7 after the family moved to the provincial capital. She struggled in school, skipping class to hide in the empty gymnasium and play piano there. Though she despised the hard stares and high expectations of recitals, she begged to join a band. Her parents relented to a few hours of Sunday practice. The group’s first show, for several hundred dancing kids in a student union, was transformational.

“I was being seen, and I was being accepted,” she said. “It was the first time I felt that way.”

That night’s headlining act included Mark Jowett, who was then running a small label, Nettwerk, in Vancouver. Stunned by McLachlan’s voice and verve, Jowett urged her to move west and start writing songs. Her parents insisted she finish high school and college. Soon after meeting the label’s co-founder Terry McBride, she defied them, anyway. They barely spoke for two years. “She was green but really disarming,” said McBride, McLachlan’s manager until 2011, in an interview. “Her ambition was to get out.”

McLachlan soon cut a ponderous debut informed by the folk of her youth — Cat Stevens, Simon and Garfunkel, Joan Baez. Jowett and McBride wanted a producer to push her. When they asked Pierre Marchand, who had worked with the Canadian folk royalty of Kate and Anna McGarrigle, what he’d do with McLachlan’s music, he seemed flippant, saying he’d find out in the studio. “My manager was like, ‘I don’t like this guy.’ But I’m like, ‘I love this guy,’” she recalled. “It was all about exploration.”

The pair decamped to the New Orleans studio of the iconoclastic producer Daniel Lanois, where their professional relationship turned physical. (“We wrote a lot of songs naked,” Marchand admitted, laughing.) That intimate bond proved critical when an ascot-sporting representative from McLachlan’s American label, Arista, stopped by to listen. When he didn’t hear a marketable single, they didn’t capitulate. They told him to leave.

“It was a defining moment for me in deciding how I wanted to control my future,” McLachlan said. “I thought, if this is what being famous and successful means, to compromise this thing that feels so important, I don’t want it.”

They gambled correctly. The success of “Solace,” McLachlan’s second album, drifted from Canada into the United States, where it was released in 1992, buying her and Marchand good will. They spent a year and a half in a studio in the Quebec countryside, McLachlan often walking home by moonlight while Marchand built late-night loops and atmospheres. The result, “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy,” remains an uncanny singer-songwriter record, her frank observations on betrayal, friendship and lust warped by his outré sensibilities. “I like it when it’s complex, when there’s not one feeling,” Marchand said. “It’s like a person.”

Marchand and McLachlan added the layered grandeur of U2 and the supple strength of Depeche Mode to these testimonials of yearning and loss. Critics lauded it as smart and sensual. Sales were stronger still: It went quintuple-platinum in Canada and sold more than three million copies stateside.

“I was in a punk band listening to a lot of hardcore — and, strangely, Sarah McLachlan,” said Leslie Feist , the Canadian songwriter who will open the U.S. leg of McLachlan’s tour. “I could hear her power, but it was being expressed more fluidly. It wasn’t about aggression. It was about conviction.”

As McLachlan’s profile grew, letters from stalkers mounted at Nettwerk’s offices, especially from an Ottawa programmer named Uwe Vandrei. They met once, and he slipped her a scarf. But after she read one of his pleas, she asked not to see more. Still, in the album’s opener, “Possession,” where bass pulses and guitars radiate above droning gothic organs, she worked to mirror his mind, to articulate his misplaced passions. When it became a hit, he sued, alleging McLachlan had lifted his words. Vandrei died before trial.

“I felt a strange sense of relief,” McLachlan said haltingly. “But then I thought, ‘Oh my God, this is somebody’s son. Should I have tried to reach out? Tried to talk some sense into him?’”

The success of “Fumbling” — and the draining circus that followed, including conspiracy theories about label involvement in Vandrei’s death — helped spur McLachlan’s most historic defiance. She demanded to not headline every show, to be partnered with acts who could share celebrity’s weight. Promoters balked at the idea that women could carry such a docket, rankling McLachlan. She named a genre-jumping touring festival for Lilith, a woman repeatedly lambasted in sacred texts. Lilith Fair not only dominated the summer concert scene of the late ’90s but showed onlookers and executives that women were not music’s second-class citizens.

“I busked outside of Lilith and applied when I was 16,” said the singer-songwriter Allison Russell , who made her onstage debut by performing McLachlan’s “Mary” alongside high school friends in Montreal. “She changed the landscape for women. She resisted what everyone told her she had to do.”

When McLachlan was the kid being bullied at school or alienated at home, music made her feel valuable. After her hit-laden 1997 album “Surfacing” (“Building a Mystery,” “Adia”) and Lilith Fair, it had also made her wealthy and famous, affording her a family and an activist legacy. She no longer needed the spotlight’s validation, getting it instead from her daughters and dogs, her music school and morning music practice. Her career steadily slowed, with more years passing between albums and her experimental ardor fading. She didn’t mind.

“I’m a middle-aged woman. You kind of became invisible,” she said, leaning in with a wide grin. She whispered: “And I really like that.”

THE ENCORE BREAK on McLachlan’s new tour is brief, maybe 40 seconds. At her benefit show in Vancouver, soon after the band faded from the title finale of “Fumbling,” McLachlan slipped through a black curtain and rushed to her polished Yamaha grand. She’s making a new record, she told the crowd, and she wanted to try a song alone: “Gravity,” her balletic ode to perseverance, to letting others lift you. If McLachlan discarded an album of breakup songs, this is a hymn for what comes after.

It is also a fitting prelude for “Angel,” the poignant 1997 ballad that became a maudlin punchline after scoring a commercial for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

“I see it at the end of the day, and it’s like, ‘Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan, and I’m about to ruin your day,’” she said of filming the commercial as a favor. “But that’s just not me.”

Before “Adia,” McLachlan told the audience she never explained that song, because it immortalized her taboo transgression — ruining a relationship by dating her best friend’s ex. “We needed to part ways for a while,” she said. “And I swear it was the hardest breakup I’ve ever been through.”

But they fixed the friendship, which has since endured divorces, children and new love. For years, that friend, Crystal Heald, urged McLachlan to take “Fumbling” on tour. “Thank goodness she forgave me,” McLachlan continued.

McLachlan is candid about her prospects. Relevance, she admitted, is a young person’s game that she has long resisted. She’ll be at least 57 by the time she releases new music, and she knows most people only like the old stuff. Still, when she told her forgiveness tale, the arena erupted with a wave of recognition for bygone mistakes and second chances, for comebacks. Her audience has aged with her; stepping back into the spotlight, she is ready to have that conversation.

“I didn’t talk for the first 10 years of my shows. When the music was happening, I knew what I was doing. Take the music and my voice, and I’m 12 again,” she said two months before stepping onstage. “But in the last 10 years, I say whatever comes to mind. I feel more freedom daily to be who I am.”

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