why ucla essay examples

No products in the cart.

Successful UCLA Essays

Ucla essays →.

UC PIQ: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? | Sabria

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  Overtime, I learned that Armani wants to be spoken to as…...

UC PIQ: Think about an academic subject that inspires you | Sabria

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.  It was not until…...

UC PIQ: Describe an example of your leadership experience | Sabria

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.  Junior…...

UC PIQ: What do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? | Tevin

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the

UC PIQ: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  | Tevin

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?   “It’s near impossible, your seniors have tried”, I was told. Zhengyang…...

UC PIQ: Describe an example of your leadership experience | Tevin

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Planning…...

Report Content

Block member.

Please confirm you want to block this member.

You will no longer be able to:

• See blocked member's posts
• Mention this member in posts
• Message this member
• Add this member as a connection

Please note: This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete.

Personal Insight Questions

The following are tips to help applicants find appropriate topics, styles and tones for their answers to the personal insight questions. Please also see the University of California’s instructions for first-years  and for transfers .

As we read your application, including your answers to the personal insight questions, we’re looking for evidence of your intellectual curiosity and your interest in personal development. UCLA has such a creative, ambitious and diverse student body. We’re always on the lookout for applicants who will contribute to the intellectual vitality, cultural life and diversity of UCLA.

• These questions are about getting to know you better, so be open, reflective, find your individual voice and express it.
• First-Year Applicants: You will have eight questions to choose from, you must respond to any four of the eight questions. The questions you choose to answer are entirely up to you.
• Transfer Applicants: There is one required question you must answer; then you answer three out of seven additional questions. Which three of the seven you choose to answer are entirely up to you.
• All applicants: We recommend you select questions that are most relevant to your experience and best reflect your individual circumstances.
• All questions will be given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.

Tips for Success

We hope these tips will help you get organized and will inspire you. Your accomplishments, your opinions — you are important! Your answers to these questions are the best tool you have to show us the individual gifts you have to offer to the UCLA community.

Start early.

Give yourself time to think about your topics and carefully consider the rationale behind each question.

Be clear. Be focused. Be organized.

Make sure your answers to the questions follow a logical structure. Try to think about how it may seem to an audience who doesn’t know you. Input from people you trust — teachers, friends, relatives — can help you get perspective on how your answers affect those who are reading them.

Be careful with humor and clichés.

What might seem funny or bitingly ironic to you may not seem that way to someone who doesn’t know you. Remember that these questions are an opportunity for you to give us a complete picture of yourself. Don’t allow clichés to speak for you.

Don’t manufacture hardship.

Your answer to a personal insight question isn’t effective simply because it chronicles difficult circumstances. An effective answer to any question gives us a clear sense of your personal qualities and how you’ve used and developed them in response to your opportunities and challenges.

Use specific examples to illustrate your ideas.

Prove to us with written examples that you have a sense of who you are, where you’re going and how you will use your education and experiences to accomplish your goals. Although some events have long-term or even lifetime ramifications, it’s usually better to focus on recent events because they shed more light on who you are right now.

Finally, give yourself plenty of time for revisions.

Read your writing to others, and revise for clarity in content and in style. Pay attention to rules of correct grammar and punctuation, and don’t forget to spell check.

Please visit the University of California site for more help with your personal insight questions, including the text of the questions you will be asked to answer.

How to Answer UC’s Personal Insight Questions

Special Instructions for Veterans

We’re interested in knowing about your military service. Therefore, you may wish to use the personal insight questions to communicate the following:

• Describe how your military service has been instrumental in developing your educational plans.
• Indicate if you’re entitled to educational benefits as a result of your own military service or the service-connected death or disability of a parent or spouse.
• Indicate if you’re affiliated with the military such as, but not limited to, the spouse or dependent of someone who is on active duty or a current participant in an ROTC-type program.

Spanish-Language Versions

The UC Personal Insight Guides are also available in Spanish.

• Tips in Spanish for first-years (PDF)
• Tips in Spanish for transfers (PDF)  
• Writing tips in Spanish (PDF)

• [email protected]
• (650) 338-8226

Cupertino, CA

• Our Philosophy
• Our Results
• News, Media, and Press
• Common Application
• College Application Essay Editing
• Extracurricular Planning
• Academic Guidance
• Summer Programs
• Interview Preparation

Middle School

• Pre-High School Consultation
• Boarding School Admissions

College Admissions

• Academic and Extracurricular Profile Evaluation
• Senior Editor College Application Program
• Summer Program Applications
• Private Consulting Program
• Transfer Admissions
• UC Transfer Admissions
• Ivy League Transfer Admissions

Graduate Admissions

• Graduate School Admissions
• MBA Admissions

Private Tutoring

• SAT/ACT Tutoring
• AP Exam Tutoring
• Olympiad Training

Research Programs

• Science Research Program
• Humanities Competitions
• Passion Project Program
• Ad Hoc Consulting
• Athletic Recruitment
• National Universities Rankings
• Liberal Arts Colleges Rankings
• Public Schools Rankings

Acceptance Rates

• University Acceptance Rates
• Transfer Acceptance Rates
• Supplemental Essays
• College Admissions Data
• Chances Calculator
• GPA Calculator

National Universities

• College Acceptance Rates
• College Overall Acceptance Rates
• College Regular Acceptance Rates
• College Early Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Overall Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Regular Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Early Acceptance Rates

Public Schools

• Public Schools Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Overall Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Regular Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Early Acceptance Rates

Liberal Arts

• Liberal Arts Colleges Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Overall Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Regular Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Early Acceptance Rates

UCLA Essay Prompts 2023-2024

By Eric Eng

Welcome to UCLA, one of the world’s top universities. As you start your college application journey, pay attention to a crucial part that can make you stand out: the essays for the 2023-2024 admissions cycle at UCLA. These essays go beyond being a formality; they’re a platform for telling your personal story and showcasing what makes you special in UCLA’s lively community.

This guide is all about UCLA essays 2023-2024. We’ll walk you through everything from understanding how important these essays are in your application to sharing the best strategies to approach them. We want to give you all the tools you need.

Whether you’re great at writing or just getting started, we’re here to help you write essays that connect with the admissions committee and get you closer to joining UCLA . Let’s start this chapter of your academic journey with confidence and excitement.

Does UCLA Accept the Common App?

To apply to UCLA, you need to use the UC Apply system. UCLA doesn’t use the Common App . Instead, they have their own system. You have to fill out your application on the UC Admissions website .

All the University of California (UC) schools use this same system. Make sure you finish your application by the deadline. You can start applying on UC Admissions from August 1st and you have until November 30th to submit everything.

How Many Essays Does UCLA Have?

For the 2023-2024 admission cycles, UCLA, like other universities in the University of California (UC) system, requires applicants to respond to Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) . These are not traditional essays in the sense that many other universities require, but they are critical components of the application process. Here’s a detailed breakdown:

Number of Personal Insight Questions (PIQs): UCLA asks applicants to answer four out of eight available PIQs. Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words. These questions are designed to provide the admissions committee with a more holistic view of the applicant beyond academic metrics. The topics range from asking about leadership experience, creativity, overcoming challenges, to educational opportunities or barriers faced.

Nature of the PIQs: Unlike traditional essays that might ask for a comprehensive narrative, UCLA’s PIQs are more focused and specific. Each question targets a particular aspect of the applicant’s personality, experiences, or ambitions. This format allows applicants to showcase different facets of their character and life experiences, providing a rounded picture of who they are.

Flexibility and Choice: The choice of which four questions to answer gives applicants the flexibility to highlight the areas where they feel strongest or most passionate. This choice is strategic for applicants, as it allows them to tailor their application to showcase their strengths, experiences, and qualities that align with UCLA’s values and the program they are applying to.

Overall, for the UCLA Essays 2023-2024 admissions cycles, applicants are required to answer four PIQs from a set of eight. These questions are designed to elicit responses that reveal the applicant’s character, experiences, and potential fit with UCLA. The format and nature of these PIQs differ from traditional essays, providing a unique opportunity for applicants to present a multifaceted view of themselves to the admissions committee.

What are the UCLA Essay Prompts 2023-2024?

If you’re applying to UCLA or any University of California school, you’ll have to write answers to four personal insight questions. Each one should be 350 words long, and you can pick which ones you want to answer from a list of eight options.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

How to Write the UCLA Essays 2023-2024

Ucla essay prompt #1.

When tackling the first prompt about leadership, your essay should be a narrative that not only describes a specific instance where you were a leader but also delves into the nuances of what leadership means to you. Begin by setting the scene: Where and when did this leadership experience occur? Who was involved? What was at stake? Then, move into the heart of the story: your actions, decisions, and leadership style. Did you lead by example, or by motivating others? How did you navigate any conflicts or challenges? It’s essential to provide specific examples and details to paint a vivid picture.

Reflect on the outcomes. How were others influenced or impacted by your leadership? What was the end result of your involvement? Leadership often involves learning from both successes and failures, so don’t shy away from discussing what you might have done differently. Finally, connect this experience to your personal growth. How has it shaped you as a person and a leader? How will these skills and insights be applied in your future endeavors, particularly at a university like UCLA?

1. Identify a Specific Leadership Experience: Encourage students to think of a specific instance where they showcased leadership. This could be a formal role like a team captain or student body president, or an informal situation where they stepped up to lead in a group project, community service, or a challenging family circumstance. The focus should be on a situation that demonstrates their ability to lead and make a positive impact. It’s important to describe the setting, the challenges faced, and the roles they and others played.

2. Highlight Positive Influence and Conflict Resolution: The prompt specifically asks how the student has influenced others positively and resolved disputes. They should reflect on how their actions and decisions led to positive outcomes. Did they mentor someone, foster teamwork, or encourage collaboration? How did they handle disagreements or differing opinions within the group? They should provide examples of specific actions they took to resolve conflicts and the outcomes of those actions.

3. Emphasize Personal Growth and Learning: UCLA is interested in how these experiences have shaped the student. They should discuss what they learned about themselves as a leader and a team player. How did the experience enhance their communication, problem-solving, or decision-making skills? What insights did they gain about working with diverse groups or handling responsibility? This reflection demonstrates maturity and self-awareness, qualities that are highly valued in a university setting.

4. Illustrate Contribution Over Time: The prompt mentions “over time,” indicating an interest in sustained effort and commitment. Students should illustrate how their leadership wasn’t a one-off event but a continuous journey. How did they grow and evolve in their role? Did they initiate any long-term changes or leave a lasting impact? This could include ongoing mentorship, lasting improvements to a club or organization, or a significant project that continued even after their direct involvement ended.

UCLA Essay Prompt #2

This prompt seeks to explore the breadth and depth of your creativity. Your response should offer a window into how you see and interact with the world creatively. Begin by defining what creativity means to you. Is it finding innovative solutions to problems, expressing yourself artistically, or thinking outside the box? Provide specific examples of how you’ve demonstrated your creativity. This could be through artwork, a unique approach to a school project, a hobby, or even day-to-day problem-solving.

Delve into the impact of your creative endeavors. How have they affected you and others around you? Perhaps your creativity has led to a community project, a personal achievement, or has simply been a means for self-expression and stress relief. Reflect on the role creativity plays in your life. How does it shape your perspective on the world? How do you envision applying your creativity in a university setting?

1. Identifying Personal Expressions of Creativity: Students should start by reflecting on moments where they felt most creative. This could involve instances of problem-solving, innovative thinking, or artistic endeavors. They should think broadly – creativity isn’t limited to traditional arts. It could be an innovative solution in a science project, a unique approach in a debate, or even creativity in everyday life, like cooking or organizing events. The idea is to pinpoint experiences that genuinely reflect their creative thinking and actions.

2. Contextualizing Creative Moments: Once a creative instance is identified, students should delve into the context. What was the situation or challenge? What motivated them to think or act creatively? This context is crucial as it demonstrates the student’s ability to recognize opportunities for creativity and their willingness to engage with them. This background story helps to paint a picture of the student’s creative mindset in action.

3. Reflecting on the Impact and Learning: The next step is to reflect on the outcome. How did their creative approach make a difference? What was the impact, whether on themselves, others, or a broader context? Students should also explore what they learned from this experience. Did it change how they approach problems or think about the world? This reflection shows self-awareness and the ability to grow from experiences.

4. Connecting Creativity to Future Goals and UCLA: Finally, students should connect their creative side to their future aspirations and how it aligns with what UCLA offers. How does their creativity play into their academic interests or career goals? How do they see themselves continuing to develop this creativity at UCLA? This connection demonstrates forward-thinking and an understanding of how their unique traits would fit into and benefit from the UCLA community.

UCLA Essay Prompt #3

In responding to this prompt, select a talent or skill that you feel genuinely passionate about and that has played a significant role in your personal development. Begin by explaining what this talent or skill is, and why it is important to you. Is it something you’ve always had a natural affinity for, or did you develop it over time? Describe the journey of developing this talent or skill. This could include formal training, self-teaching, challenges you’ve faced, and milestones you’ve achieved.

Share specific instances where you have demonstrated this talent or skill, particularly those that had significant outcomes or impacts. How have you used this talent or skill in a way that’s meaningful to you or to others? Reflect on how this talent or skill has shaped your character, your outlook on life, and your future aspirations. How do you see this talent or skill playing a role in your life at UCLA and beyond?

1. Identifying the Talent or Skill: Encourage students to reflect deeply on what they genuinely feel is their greatest talent or skill. This doesn’t necessarily have to be an academic or conventional skill like mathematics or playing a musical instrument. It could be something unique to them, such as resilience, empathy, leadership, or creative problem-solving. The key is authenticity—choosing a talent that resonates personally and is a significant part of their identity.

2. Narrative of Development: Once the talent or skill is identified, students should recount how they discovered and developed it. This narrative can include early signs of the talent, key moments of realization, and the journey of honing it. For example, if a student identifies empathy as their greatest skill, they could describe instances in their life that helped them realize and cultivate this quality, such as volunteering experiences, personal relationships, or challenges they’ve overcome.

3. Demonstrating the Talent or Skill: The next step is to illustrate how this talent or skill has been put into practice. This demonstration can be through specific examples, like leadership roles, projects, competitions, community service, or personal initiatives. It’s important to show not just participation in activities, but how their unique skill made a tangible difference or contributed to their growth or the growth of others.

4. Reflection and Impact: Finally, students should reflect on the impact of this talent or skill on their life and potentially on the lives of others. They should consider how it has shaped their perspective, contributed to their goals, and how it aligns with their future aspirations, including their potential contribution to the UCLA community. This reflection should also include how they plan to further develop this talent in college and beyond.

UCLA Essay Prompt #4

This prompt is about showcasing your ability to handle challenges in your educational journey or how you’ve leveraged opportunities. Start by clearly identifying the opportunity or barrier. Was it an advanced course, a unique educational program, or a personal or financial obstacle that impacted your education? Describe your initial reactions and how you approached the situation. What steps did you take to make the most of the opportunity or to overcome the barrier? This could include seeking help, self-study, perseverance, or creative problem-solving.

Discuss the outcome of your efforts. What did you achieve or learn from the experience? How did it change your perspective on education and your own abilities? Reflect on the skills you developed, such as resilience, time management, or a deeper understanding of a subject. Finally, connect this experience to your future at UCLA. How has it prepared you for college-level work and the challenges of higher education?

1. Identify the Opportunity or Barrier: Begin by specifically identifying either the educational opportunity you took advantage of or the barrier you faced. This could be a special program, a challenging course, lack of resources, personal circumstances, etc. Elaborate on the context and significance of this situation in your life. For example, if you took a challenging AP course, explain why it was important for you, perhaps it was your first exposure to a subject you’re now passionate about, or it was a subject you initially struggled with but wanted to conquer.

2. Personal Growth and Development: Discuss how engaging with this opportunity or barrier contributed to your personal growth. Did it change your perspective on learning, influence your academic interests, or develop specific skills like resilience, problem-solving, or time management? Illustrate this with specific examples, such as how mastering a difficult concept in a course led you to a deeper understanding and appreciation of the subject or how overcoming limited access to resources taught you resourcefulness and creativity.

3. Action and Initiative: Highlight the actions you took in relation to this opportunity or barrier. If it’s an opportunity, explain how you went above and beyond to maximize it. Did you seek additional resources, collaborate with peers, or take on extra projects? If it’s a barrier, describe the steps you took to overcome it. This might include seeking help, developing a strategic study plan, or balancing schoolwork with other responsibilities. The focus should be on demonstrating your proactive approach and determination.

4. Impact and Reflection: Reflect on the impact of this experience on your academic journey and future goals. How has this experience shaped your outlook toward education or influenced your career aspirations? Perhaps it led to a newfound interest in a field of study, a desire to help others facing similar barriers, or a commitment to lifelong learning. This part of the essay should tie your experiences back to your aspirations and the kind of student you will be at UCLA.

UCLA Essay Prompt #5

In addressing this prompt, choose a challenge that had a profound impact on your life, particularly on your academic journey. Start by describing the challenge in detail. Was it a personal, social, financial, or academic challenge? Explain how this challenge affected you, especially in your academic pursuits. It’s important to be open and honest, as this adds authenticity to your narrative.

Detail the steps you took to overcome this challenge. This can include seeking support, developing new strategies, or pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Discuss the results of your efforts. Did you overcome the challenge entirely, or did you learn to manage it effectively? Reflect on what this challenge taught you about yourself and your approach to obstacles. How has it influenced your academic performance and perspective on learning? Conclude by explaining how this experience has prepared you for future challenges, particularly in a university setting like UCLA.

1. Identify a Meaningful Challenge: The student should choose a challenge that has genuinely impacted their life. This could be a personal hurdle (like a family issue or health challenge), an academic obstacle (such as struggling with a specific subject or project), or a social difficulty (like dealing with bullying or cultural adaptation). It’s important that the challenge is significant enough to have a real impact on their life and learning experience. The key here is authenticity; the challenge should be real and personal, not something chosen just because it sounds impressive.

2. Describe the Steps to Overcome the Challenge: This part requires detailing the specific actions taken to address the challenge. Did the student seek help from teachers, counselors, or mentors? Did they develop new study habits, engage in self-reflection, or take practical steps to improve their situation? This section should demonstrate problem-solving skills, resilience, and the ability to seek and utilize resources effectively. It’s crucial to show a proactive approach rather than a passive one.

3. Reflect on Personal Growth: The student should explain how overcoming the challenge contributed to their personal development. This could include gaining new perspectives, developing empathy, improving time management, or becoming more resilient. The focus should be on how the experience shaped them rather than just the achievement of overcoming the challenge. It’s about the journey and the lessons learned, not just the destination.

4. Link to Academic Achievement: Finally, the student needs to connect this experience to their academic life. How has overcoming this challenge affected their approach to learning? Did it lead to better study habits, a greater appreciation for education, or a specific academic interest? This part should tie the personal experience back to the academic context, showing how personal growth has translated into academic success or motivation.

UCLA Essay Prompt #6

Prompt #6 asks you to delve into an academic subject that excites you and how you have engaged with it. Begin by identifying the subject and explaining why it inspires you. Is it the complexity of the subject, its relevance to real-world issues, or the way it challenges you intellectually? Describe how you have pursued this interest both in and out of the classroom. This can include classes you’ve taken, books you’ve read, projects you’ve undertaken, or extracurricular activities related to the subject.

Provide specific examples of your engagement with the subject. Perhaps you conducted a research project, participated in a related competition, or started a club at school. Reflect on what these experiences have taught you and how they have deepened your understanding of the subject. Finally, discuss how this passion for the subject aligns with your future academic and career goals. How do you plan to continue exploring this interest at UCLA and beyond?

1. Identify Your Passionate Subject and Explain Why It Inspires You: Begin by pinpointing the specific academic subject that truly excites you. This could be anything from Mathematics to Literature, from Environmental Science to Political Science. Once identified, delve deeply into why this subject inspires you. Is it the challenges it presents, the real-world applications, or the way it shapes your thinking? Explain how this subject aligns with your personal values, interests, or long-term goals. This part of the essay should establish a personal connection between you and the subject, making it clear why it stands out among others.

2. Detail Your Academic Endeavors in This Subject: After establishing your passion for the subject, focus on how you have pursued this interest academically. This could include specific courses you’ve excelled in, projects or research you’ve undertaken, or exceptional achievements in this field. Highlight any unique learning experiences or challenges you’ve overcome. It’s essential to show not just your involvement but also your growth and development in this area. This demonstrates your commitment and ability to thrive in academic settings.

3. Explain Extracurricular Pursuits Related to the Subject: Expanding beyond the classroom, discuss how you have furthered this interest through extracurricular activities. This might include clubs, competitions, volunteering, internships, or personal projects related to the subject. For instance, if you’re inspired by Environmental Science, you might talk about your participation in a local environmental cleanup initiative or a sustainable gardening project you started. These activities should highlight your proactive approach and dedication to exploring your subject in diverse contexts.

4. Reflect on the Impact and Future Implications: Lastly, reflect on the impact this subject has had on your personal and intellectual growth. How has it shaped your worldview or influenced your future aspirations? Discuss how you plan to continue pursuing this interest at UCLA and beyond. This could involve specific programs at UCLA you wish to join, career paths you aim to explore, or societal contributions you hope to make through your chosen field. This reflection not only demonstrates self-awareness but also aligns your personal journey with the opportunities available at UCLA, showing a clear vision for your future.

UCLA Essay Prompt #7

This prompt is an opportunity to demonstrate your sense of social responsibility and community involvement. Start by describing what you did to improve your school or community. Was it a specific project, a long-term commitment, or a leadership role? Explain your motivation behind this effort. What inspired you to take action, and what were your goals?

Detail the steps you took and any challenges you faced. How did you plan and execute your ideas? What obstacles did you encounter, and how did you overcome them? Discuss the impact of your contribution. How did it benefit your school or community? Reflect on what this experience taught you about community, leadership, and collaboration. Conclude by discussing how this experience has shaped your perspective on community involvement and how you plan to continue contributing at UCLA.

1. Identify a Specific Initiative or Contribution: Encourage students to think about a specific project, activity, or effort where they played a significant role in making a positive change in their school or community. This could be anything from organizing a community clean-up, leading a fundraising event, starting a new club at school, to tutoring underprivileged students. The key is to focus on an activity where their direct involvement brought about a noticeable change or improvement.

2. Demonstrate Leadership and Initiative: Admissions officers are often impressed by students who show leadership qualities and the ability to take initiative. Students should detail how they identified a need or opportunity, took the lead in addressing it, and motivated others to join in. This might involve planning, organizing, decision-making, and problem-solving skills. For instance, if they started a recycling program at their school, they should describe how they developed the idea, organized a team, and implemented the program.

3. Reflect on Personal Growth: A compelling response to this prompt will also include a reflection on how this experience contributed to the student’s personal development. Did they learn new skills, overcome challenges, or gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their community? For example, a student who tutored others might discuss how this experience improved their communication skills and deepened their empathy and understanding of diverse learning needs.

4. Assess the Impact: Finally, students should assess and articulate the impact of their actions. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a large-scale impact; even small, meaningful changes can be significant. They should consider how their actions affected their school or community, what was different because of their efforts, and any feedback or results they observed. For example, if they organized a charity event, they could mention the amount of funds raised and how these funds were used to benefit a cause.

UCLA Essay Prompt #8

Prompt #8 is your chance to showcase aspects of your personality or experiences that make you stand out. Think about what unique qualities you possess that haven’t been highlighted in other parts of your application. Start by identifying these qualities. Are they related to your background, experiences, perspectives, or achievements?

Provide examples or anecdotes that illustrate these qualities in action. Perhaps you have a unique hobby, have overcome unusual challenges, or have a distinctive perspective on the world. Reflect on why these qualities are important to you and how they have shaped your identity. Discuss how these qualities will contribute to the UCLA community. How will they enable you to engage with and enrich the university environment? Conclude by tying these unique aspects of your identity to your potential as a UCLA student.

1. Unique Personal Qualities or Experiences: Students should reflect on what unique qualities or experiences they possess that haven’t been covered elsewhere in their application. This could be a unique perspective shaped by their background, a distinctive hobby or talent, or an unusual life experience. It’s crucial to explain how these qualities or experiences contribute to who they are. For instance, if a student grew up in a multicultural environment, they could discuss how this has given them a more inclusive worldview and an ability to adapt to diverse settings, which is valuable in a university environment.

2. Overcoming Challenges: This part should focus on any significant challenges or obstacles the student has overcome. The emphasis should be on resilience and personal growth. Students should illustrate how facing these challenges has prepared them for the rigors of college life and how it has shaped their character. For example, overcoming a learning disability, dealing with a family crisis, or succeeding in spite of financial hardships can be powerful narratives that demonstrate determination and strength.

3. Contributions to the University Community: Here, students should consider how they can contribute to the UCLA community. This could be through leadership roles, community service, cultural engagement, or other extracurricular activities. They should describe specific ways they plan to be involved on campus and how their past experiences have prepared them for these roles. For instance, if a student has been actively involved in environmental initiatives in high school, they could talk about how they plan to bring this passion to UCLA and contribute to sustainability efforts on campus.

4. Alignment with UCLA’s Values and Goals: Finally, students should research and understand UCLA’s mission and values and reflect on how these align with their own goals and aspirations. This is where they can demonstrate their knowledge about UCLA and show why they are a good fit for the university. For example, if a student is passionate about research and innovation, they could discuss how UCLA’s cutting-edge research opportunities align with their career aspirations.

How to Structure Your UCLA Essays

The importance of structure in essays, particularly for UCLA Essays 2023-2024, cannot be overstated. A well-structured essay serves as a roadmap for the reader, guiding them through your ideas and arguments in a coherent and logical manner. It ensures that your essay is not just a collection of random thoughts, but a cohesive narrative that effectively communicates your message. Structure helps to maintain the reader’s interest and makes your essay more persuasive and impactful. Now, let’s delve into three key points on how applicants can structure their UCLA essays:

Introduction: Setting the Stage

1. Contextual Opening: Begin your essay by setting the context. This could be a brief overview of the topic or a compelling anecdote that relates to the prompt. For UCLA Essays 2023-2024, the introduction should not only hook the reader but also provide a glimpse into what the essay will cover. For instance, if the prompt is about a leadership experience, start with a moment that epitomizes your leadership or the challenge you faced.

2. The Statement: Conclude the introduction with a clear statement. This is your opportunity to succinctly state what the essay will demonstrate or argue. For UCLA applicants, the thesis should reflect how their experiences or perspectives align with the values and expectations of the university.

3. Connection to UCLA Values: In the introduction, subtly weave in how your story or perspective aligns with UCLA’s ethos. This could be through demonstrating commitment to diversity, excellence, or innovation.

Body: Developing Your Story

1. Structured Paragraphs: Each paragraph in the body should focus on a single idea or aspect of your story. Begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the paragraph’s focus. This is particularly important in UCLA Essays 2023-2024, where clarity and depth of thought are valued.

2. Evidence and Examples: Use specific examples and experiences to support your points. In UCLA essays, these examples should not only illustrate your experiences but also reflect your self-awareness and growth. For example, when discussing a challenge, detail not just the situation, but also your response and learning from it.

3. Reflective Insights: Each body paragraph should include reflective insights. For UCLA applicants, this means going beyond describing what happened, to analyzing why it was significant. Reflect on how your experiences have shaped your worldview, values, and aspirations.

Conclusion: Tying It All Together

1. Future Orientation: Conclude with a forward-looking statement. How do your experiences and learnings prepare you for your future at UCLA? How do they align with your academic and career aspirations? This is your chance to show UCLA how your past experiences make you an ideal candidate for their future community.

2. Personal and Engaging Closing: End on a personal and engaging note. This could be a reflective statement or a rhetorical question that leaves the reader with something to ponder. It should resonate with the core theme of your essay and subtly reiterate your suitability for UCLA.

In essence, the structure of your UCLA Essays 2023-2024 should not just narrate a story but also convey a journey of personal development, aligning your experiences and aspirations with the values and opportunities at UCLA. A well-structured essay will ensure that your application stands out, showcasing not just your achievements, but also your potential as a future member of the UCLA community.

How Can Applicants Effectively Revise and Proofread Their Essays?

Effectively revising and proofreading essays is a critical step in the writing process, especially for UCLA Essays 2023-2024. This phase ensures that your essay not only meets the prompt’s requirements but also communicates your message clearly and effectively. Here are four key points to guide applicants in this process:

Layered Approach to Revision

1. Structural Review: Start with a high-level review of your essay’s structure. Does the essay flow logically from the introduction through the body to the conclusion? For UCLA Essays 2023-2024, it’s crucial to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall narrative and aligns with your thesis statement. Consider whether each section effectively supports your main argument or narrative.

2. Content Depth: Next, scrutinize the depth and relevance of your content. Are your arguments or narratives well-supported with concrete examples and personal reflections? In the context of UCLA applications, this means ensuring your essay not only recounts experiences but also delves into how these experiences have shaped you and prepared you for the challenges and opportunities at UCLA.

3. Voice and Tone Consistency: Ensure that your essay maintains a consistent voice and tone that reflects your personality. UCLA essays should sound authentic and personal, not overly formal or detached. The tone should match the message – a serious topic demands a serious tone, while a more light-hearted narrative can be more casual.

Detailed Proofreading

1. Grammar and Syntax: Check for grammatical errors, awkward sentence structures, and punctuation mistakes. For the essays destined for UCLA, the expectation is high regarding language proficiency. Use tools like grammar checkers, but also trust your judgment and understanding of the language.

2. Word Choice and Clarity: Ensure your word choice is precise and clear. Avoid jargon, unless it is relevant to your topic and you can explain it effectively. In UCLA Essays 2023-2024, the clarity of your expression can make a significant difference in how well your message is received.

3. Consistency in Formatting: Check for formatting consistency – this includes font size, style, and paragraph spacing. Although it might seem minor, consistent formatting contributes to the professionalism of your application.

Feedback Integration

1. Seeking External Opinions: After self-revision, it’s beneficial to get feedback from others. Teachers, mentors, or peers can provide valuable insights. For applicants to UCLA, this step is crucial as it offers a fresh perspective and can help identify areas that might need clarification or further development.

2. Balancing Feedback: While it’s important to consider external feedback, also balance it with your own voice and intentions for the essay. The final submission should still reflect your own thoughts and style, not just what others think you should write.

Final Review and Mindset

1. Rest and Revisit: After making substantial revisions, take a break from your essay. Approaching it with fresh eyes after some time can help you catch errors or inconsistencies you might have previously overlooked.

2. Read Aloud: Reading your essay aloud is a powerful technique to catch awkward phrasing and errors that your eyes might skip over. For UCLA essays, where the flow and coherence of the narrative are important, this can be particularly beneficial.

3. Mental Preparation: Recognize that revision is part of the journey towards crafting a compelling and effective essay. Approach it with a positive mindset, understanding that each revision brings you closer to presenting your best self to UCLA.

In summary, revising and proofreading UCLA Essays 2023-2024 is not just about fixing errors but refining and enhancing your message. It’s about ensuring that your essay accurately and compellingly represents your experiences, achievements, and aspirations, aligning them with what UCLA seeks in its prospective students.

The Importance of Supplemental Essays

Essays play a pivotal role in the college admissions process, particularly for prestigious institutions like UCLA. Here are some key points highlighting their importance:

1. Showcasing Personal Attributes: UCLA essays offer a unique platform for students to showcase their personal attributes, beyond academic achievements and extracurricular activities. This is crucial because UCLA, like many top universities, seeks well-rounded individuals. Essays allow students to demonstrate qualities like resilience, leadership, creativity, or a commitment to service. By effectively communicating these traits, students can distinguish themselves from other applicants with similar academic profiles.

2. Illustrating Fit with UCLA’s Values: Through essays, applicants can align themselves with UCLA’s core values and mission. This is particularly important as UCLA looks for students who not only excel academically but also resonate with the university’s ethos, such as a commitment to diversity, innovation, and public service. By articulating how their personal goals and experiences align with these values, students can make a compelling case for why they are a perfect fit for UCLA.

3. Demonstrating Writing Skills and Intellectual Maturity: The ability to express thoughts clearly, coherently, and persuasively is a skill that UCLA highly values. Essays provide a window into a student’s writing ability and intellectual maturity. A well-crafted essay that demonstrates critical thinking, analytical skills, and an ability to reflect on personal experiences can significantly boost a student’s chances of admission .

4. Providing Context to the Application: Essays allow students to provide context to their application, particularly in areas that grades and test scores cannot cover. For instance, students can explain unique circumstances that affected their academic performance, or discuss personal challenges they’ve overcome. This context can be vital for admissions officers when making decisions, especially in a highly competitive pool of applicants.

In summary, for students aiming to get admitted to UCLA during the 2023-2024 period, crafting compelling, thoughtful, and well-written essays is as important as their academic achievements. These essays are a critical tool for communicating their unique story, alignment with UCLA’s values, and readiness for the academic and social environment at UCLA.

How Do the UCLA Essays Compare to Other Top Universities?

UCLA’s Supplemental Essays for 2023-2024 present a unique set of challenges and opportunities for applicants, distinct in several ways from the essays required by other top universities. A notable feature of UCLA’s prompts is their focus on personal growth, community involvement, and the demonstration of practical skills and talents.

Unlike some other top schools, such as Harvard or Stanford , which often ask for essays reflecting intellectual vitality or deep academic interests, UCLA places significant emphasis on understanding applicants’ personal journeys and real-world experiences. For instance, UCLA’s prompts about overcoming challenges or contributing to the community mirror its commitment to social awareness and diversity, inviting students to share stories of personal resilience or community engagement.

Another distinguishing aspect of UCLA’s Supplemental Essays is the breadth of topics they cover. While schools like Yale or Princeton might offer a range of prompts that allow students to delve deeply into a particular intellectual interest or creative endeavor, UCLA’s prompts are more comprehensive, touching on various aspects of a student’s life and experiences.

This comprehensive approach seeks a holistic understanding of the applicant, from leadership and creativity to academic passions and personal challenges. It allows students more flexibility to showcase different facets of their personality and experiences, making their application stand out in a diverse applicant pool. This approach reflects UCLA’s desire to understand applicants as multifaceted individuals with a range of interests and experiences.

In comparison with other top universities like MIT or Columbia, which may have prompts geared more towards academic and intellectual prowess, UCLA’s essays seem to prioritize real-world applications of knowledge and skills. They encourage students to reflect on how their experiences, whether in a classroom, in a community, or through personal challenges, have prepared them for the future. This emphasis aligns with UCLA’s ethos as an institution committed to practical impact and societal contribution.

UCLA’s prompts also allow for a more narrative and storytelling approach, which can be particularly advantageous for students who have strong personal stories and experiences that don’t necessarily fit into the traditional academic excellence mold. This makes UCLA’s essays not just a test of writing ability, but a platform for students to truly express who they are and what they value.

Why Choose UCLA?

Choosing the right university is a decision that sets the stage for your future, and UCLA is a choice that offers endless possibilities. This prestigious institution is not just a place to earn a degree; it’s a diverse community where innovation, inclusion, and opportunity converge to provide a dynamic learning environment.

At UCLA, you’ll find yourself in the company of some of the most talented students and educators in the world. The university prides itself on a tradition of academic excellence. With a wide range of programs and resources, UCLA ensures that every student has the tools they need to succeed in their field. Whether you’re drawn to the arts, sciences, or humanities, you’ll be supported by cutting-edge research and a culture that encourages intellectual curiosity.

Beyond academics, UCLA is known for its vibrant campus life. With over 1,000 student organizations, you can connect with peers who share your interests and passions. The university’s location in Los Angeles, a global hub for culture, technology, and business, provides countless internships and job opportunities that can give you a head start in your career.

Choosing UCLA means joining a legacy of leaders, thinkers, and change-makers who have left their mark on the world. It’s a place where you can not only dream about the future but also take the first steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Final Thoughts

essays are not just a formality; they are a critical element of your UCLA application. They offer a unique opportunity to present yourself as a three-dimensional individual, not just an applicant on paper.

These essays can bridge the gap between your academic achievements and the person you are outside the classroom. They provide context, showcase your writing skills, and, most importantly, share your story. In the admissions process, where every detail counts, well-crafted essays can be the deciding factor that helps you stand out in a pool of highly qualified candidates.

AdmissionSight , a college consulting firm, offers personalized assistance to students in their college admissions journey. We help you create a strategic plan for your application process, identify suitable schools aligned with your academic and personal goals, and prioritize your application strategy.

Our experts review your application, providing constructive feedback to enhance its quality and uniqueness. We also assist in crafting compelling essays that reflect your personality and achievements, guide you through the writing process, and offer feedback on drafts. In addition, we provide interview coaching to boost your confidence and readiness for college interviews, offering tips on professional presentation and answering common questions.

We aid in optimizing your extracurricular activities to align with your interests and goals, emphasizing leadership and initiative. Overall, AdmissionSight offers valuable guidance and support to increase your chances of college acceptance. With a strong network and a success rate exceeding 75% in the past decade, book a free initial consultation today!

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

Why College Admissions Isn’t Perfect

US News Rankings

The Personal Statement: The Holy Grail of College Admissions

The Modern Day 4.0 and 1600 SAT Score Student Is No Longer Impressive

The Competitive Nature of College Admissions for Asian Americans

The College Application

Our Comprehensive Approach

Ivy League Schools

How Early Should You Prepare for College?

Featured in US News & World Report Best Colleges Publication

Congratulations to AdmissionSight Students and their Acceptances!

College Rejection

College Rankings

College Consultants Could Make A Difference

College Admissions Scandal and Higher Education

Top Extracurricular Activities for Ivy Leagues

Where is Boston University Located?

Top 10 Undergraduate Business Programs

Where is Claremont McKenna Located?

Ivy League Rankings 2024

10 Humanities Programs for High School Students

Where is Georgia Tech located?

How to Qualify for National Merit Semifinalist 2025

Where Is Harvey Mudd Located?

Where is the University of Virginia located?

Where is Wake Forest located?

Where is the University of Michigan located?

How to Update Caltech After Submitting Your Application

How to Update Yale After Submitting Your Application

What Are the Score Choice Policies at Top 50 Universities?

How to update mit after submitting your application.

Where is Carnegie Mellon University located?

Leave a comment cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Recent Articles

Top Extracurricular Activities for Ivy...

10 Humanities Programs for High...

How to Qualify for National...

Where is the University of...

Sign up now to receive insights on how to navigate the college admissions process.

Admissions Counseling

• Academic & Extracurricular Profile Evaluation

Copyright © AdmissionSight 2024

Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions

• Campus Culture
• High School
• Top Schools

UCLA Successful Essay Examples

• uc school system
• college application essays
• essay intros

UCLA is one of the most popular universities in California. In recent years, it has received a record number of applications. If the West Coast  calls to you and you like the idea of finding your niche in a large top tier university, UCLA may be the school for you. If you’re still working on your responses to the UC essay prompts, these examples may help. 

One of the most sought-after UC schools, UCLA is a dream school for many Californians. More than 100,000 students applied to UCLA last fall, and the numbers are expected to remain the same for this upcoming application season. For those of you applying this Fall, the regular application filing period is November 1-30. If you’re still working on your UC essays, here are 5 successful examples that might inspire you to write yours: 

UC Los Angeles ‘20

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

It was my fault. I had chosen this topic for my math exploration, armed with only the feeblest grasp of actual concept. Music, math, and the harmonic series…I sighed. In the time-honored tradition of all students, I had turned to Google for succor. The words on the screen blurred together hazily. “Pythagoras discovered that a string exactly 1/nth its length produces a frequency n times the original frequency…” It just didn’t make sense: what did a bunch of numbers have to do with musical consonance? Read her full UCLA application essay.

A bright orange glow reflecting on the water, I love watching the sunrise at the beach. I grew up less than ten minutes away from the Atlantic and my early childhood memories include frequent trips to the beach. Although the beach is a stunning sight, the beach is not always pristine. My family and I regularly remove trash from the beach, including commercial fishing and industrial debris, particularly after storms, sometimes in quantities almost too heavy to carry. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Starting in 6th grade, I spent every summer at Jon Lee’s East Beach volleyball camp. Most kids came and went on a weekly basis, but I just stayed. There was nowhere else I would rather have been, than at East Beach playing volleyball with my friends. I loved it so much that I sought out faster improvement, committing to more formal training with an AVP professional player. View his full successful UCLA profile.

T-shirt. I had never heard of DECA before. Curious, I asked him more about it, and learned that it was “a club for, like marketing and business”, as he called it. Her persuaded me to join and we planned to compete together in the Sports and Entertainment Marketing Team even. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

I can read koalas with turtles and I can eat ice cream with friends in North Korea. This is all possible due to the power of Photoshop. Photoshop is like a straw that allows people’s eyes to drink from my imagination. I can make anything and put it anywhere; from sea monsters in the ocean to winged toasters at my birth. For nearly four years, I have used Photoshop to express myself in an adventurous way, one that offers me wider avenues than music or writing do. I am constantly improving my photoshopping abilities and therefore expanding the limits of my expression. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Are you looking to apply to UC Schools? or just starting to build out  your college list ? Make sure to search through profiles of students accepted to see essays, stats, and advice. See how they got in, and how you can too!

About The Author

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

Browse Successful Application Files

Last week, Prompt's CEO shared what mistakes to avoid in your college essay. In Part 2 of this two-part blog series, learn how to pick an essay topic. The key: focus on an admissions officer’s...

With an otherwise great college application, how important can college essays really be? When only 1 in 5 students applying to selective colleges have compelling essays, make sure you avoid this essay mistake....

In this second part of his two-part series, college admissions coach Justin Taylor explains key admissions lessons from 2020, an unprecedented year of firsts, that can help you strategize as we enter into this next application...

In Part one of this two-part series, college admissions coach Justin Taylor explains key lessons about 2020, “a year like no other,” that could seriously boost your chances in 2021, including smarter list building and transcript GPA...

We are so excited to announce that for this year’s scholarship, we selected five scholarship winners to maximize the impact of our $5,000 college scholarship prize money....

• 1. Webinar Series: College Application Prep for High School Juniors
• 2. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 3. College Admissions Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 1)

• 5. COVID-19 and Your College Essay: Should You Write About It?
• 6. College Search: How to Find Your Best College Fit
• 7. College Tours 101: Everything You Need to Know
• 8. Waitlisted? 5 Ways to Move from the College Waitlist to Acceptance
• 9. When (and why) should you send additional materials to colleges you’re interested in?
• 10. How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out
• 1. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 2: Focusing the Priority
• 2. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 1: Biggest Essay Mistakes
• 3. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 5. Winners of the AdmitSee 2020 College Scholarship
• 6. COVID-19 and Your College Essay: Should You Write About It?
• 7. Education, Access and Systemic Racism
• 8. Applying to BS/MD Direct Medical Programs: Why Early Med School Admission Might be Right for You
• 9. How to Get Off the College Waitlist (5 Go-To Strategies)
• 10. College admissions prep during the Coronavirus

• Get Started
• Join Our Team
• (212) 262-3500
• Initial Consultation
• IvyWise Roundtable
• School Placement
• Test Prep & Tutoring
• Early College Guidance
• College Admissions Counseling
• Academic Tutoring
• Test Prep Tutoring
• Research Mentorship
• Academic Advising
• Transfer Admissions
• Graduate Admissions
• School Partnerships
• Webinars and Events
• IvyWise By The Numbers
• Testimonials
• Dr. Kat Cohen
• IvyWise In The News
• IvyWise Gives Back
• IvyWise Blog
• Just Admit It! Podcast
• Admission Statistics

UCLA Personal Statement: FAQ, Examples & Insider Tips

UCLA is part of the University of California system, which is comprised of nine campuses throughout the state. Students applying to UCLA must use the UC application — the University of California system does not use the Common App or Coalition Application. The application process includes several personal statement prompts, or what UC refers to as personal insight questions. Keep reading to learn more about these prompts and tips for responding to them.   

Does UCLA Need a Personal Statement? 

For admission to any of the University of California schools, including UCLA, you are required to respond to the personal statement prompts, which becomes part of the holistic review. What does holistic review really mean?  

IvyWise counselor Tiffany explains, “holistic review really means and acknowledges that there are multiple parts of your personality, your talents, and your application — and the admissions office is willing to consider each of those areas.” The UCLA essays provide insight into who you are beyond how you perform in the classroom. It helps the admissions committee picture how you will contribute to the campus community. 

UCLA Personal Statement 2023 

Well-crafted essay responses may give you an edge over another strong candidate with comparable academic performance. Taking the time to research how to get into UCLA and including specific and relevant details in your responses will make your personal statements much stronger. According to the University of California, your responses to the personal insight  questions “provide context for the rest of your application.”  

How Long Is the UCLA Personal Statement? 

The UC system provides eight personal insight questions for the 2023-24 admissions cycle. You are required to respond to four of them. Each response should be 250 to 350 words. Review the questions carefully and choose the four that you feel are the most relevant to your circumstances and life experience.  

Why Is UCLA So Hard to Get Into? 

UCLA receives more applications than any other college or university in the U.S., making it highly competitive. The UCLA acceptance rate is less than 9%, making it one of the most selective schools in the UC system. And because it’s state-funded, admissions preference is given to California residents. Therefore, it’s even more challenging for non-California residents to gain admission. For the class of 2027, the acceptance rate was 9.46% for in-state students, 8.62% for out-of-state students, and 6.09% for international students.  

To be competitive, your application should emphasize the three most important factors for UCLA admissions officers: the rigor of your high school coursework, your GPA, and your personal insight essays. Other factors — such as extracurriculars, volunteer/work experience, personal qualities, and talents/skills — are also important but not given as much weight.  

What Does a Good Personal Statement Look Like? 

It takes time and practice to learn how to write a personal statement that’s compelling and competitive. Your essays should demonstrate your intellectual curiosity, a positive attitude, and the personal characteristics that make you a good fit for UCLA. It’s an opportunity to highlight the educational and personal experiences that shaped you as well as your talents and skills — all of which demonstrate how you will contribute to the campus community both inside and outside of the classroom.  

Examples of Personal Statements for UCLA 

Below are the personal insight questions for the 2023-24 admissions cycle — these are the prompts for UCLA and all other schools in the UC system. There is no right or wrong way to respond to these prompts, but these examples can help you think about how to approach your own essays. Since the UC application can go to multiple University of California schools, these responses don’t specifically mention UCLA.   

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

Leadership is about empathy, understanding, and finding common ground. My leadership style has been defined by these principles, especially after an experience I had during my sophomore year.  

I joined the student council, serving as a liaison between my peers and the faculty. That year, our school’s annual talent show was in jeopardy due to a heated dispute among the planning committee. I organized a meeting for the committee members to address their concerns and find common ground. I listened to each person’s perspective and soon understood that the arguments stemmed from a lack of clarity about roles and responsibilities.  

To resolve the issue, I proposed a clear division of tasks and responsibilities, which was agreed upon by the committee. I also suggested regular check-ins to ensure everyone was on the same page. The show was soon back on track!  

I continued to lead the team, ensuring everyone felt heard and valued, and reminded them of the positive impact our efforts would have on the school community. We worked together tirelessly to make the talent show a success, and the entire experience was a testament to the power of collaboration and empathy.  

This leadership experience highlighted the importance of active listening and empathy in resolving disputes and fostering a positive group dynamic. It also reinforced the idea that leadership isn’t about being in the spotlight but about facilitating teamwork and collaboration. By focusing on the needs and concerns of everyone on the team, I was able to bring about a harmonious resolution and contribute to the success of the talent show.  

As I embark on my college journey, I carry with me the valuable lessons I learned during this experience. I’m excited to continue developing my leadership experience and making a positive impact on the world.  

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Creativity makes life more vibrant and full of endless possibilities. It’s in how I approach problems, the stories I write, and the visions I bring to life through photography.  

Problem-solving has always been my playground for creativity. When faced with a challenge, I don’t just take the conventional path—I twist, turn, and reshape it. Once in math class, we had to figure out a complex probability problem. I designed a colorful, interactive game to help solve it. The teacher loved it, and my peers started seeing math in a new light.  

Through storytelling, I can craft worlds, characters, and emotions. I write short stories, poetry, and even started working on a novel. I take pride in sharing my thoughts and ideas through my writing, hoping to inspire others to explore their creative sides.  

Photography is my way of capturing the world’s magic. Whether it’s the rusty old bike leaning against a graffiti-covered wall or a breathtaking sunset over the ocean, I strive to capture the extraordinary in the ordinary. It’s my hope that my photos ignite a sense of wonder in others and encourage them to view the world with a fresh perspective.  

My creativity isn’t confined to just one box—it’s constantly meandering into different channels. Whether I’m solving problems, spinning tales, or snapping pictures, my creative side is an ever-evolving, kaleidoscopic expression of who I am. It’s about breathing life into the mundane, stirring curiosity, and letting my imagination roam free.  

As I look ahead to college, I envision myself exploring new horizons, meeting fellow artists and thinkers, and discovering fresh ways to express my creativity. My creativity is always evolving, ready to burst with the new colors and patterns of campus life. I’m excited to see where my creative journey will lead me.  

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

I’ve known since childhood that I’m meant to be an animator. Over the years, I’ve nurtured this talent, honed it, and painted my imagination into vibrant, moving pictures.  

My journey into animation started with doodles in the margins of my notebooks. I couldn’t help but bring life to those still images. It was a spark of magic, and I was hooked. I began teaching myself the basics of animation, poring over online tutorials and practicing relentlessly.  

In high school, I joined the art club, where I had the chance to work on collaborative projects and learn from other passionate artists. But what truly set my journey in motion was an independent project creating an animated short film for a school competition. It was a daunting task, but I was determined to give it my all.  

For weeks, I sketched frames, adjusted details, and tweaked animations until they felt just right. My story was about a young astronaut exploring a distant planet, a reflection of my own sense of adventure and curiosity. The process was grueling but incredibly rewarding.  

The final product played on the screen during the competition to applause and positive feedback. I was overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment, and I realized that this was what I wanted to pursue in life.  

As I reflect on my journey, I see the growth in my abilities. I’ve developed a keen eye for detail, a better understanding of storytelling, and a deep appreciation for the art of animation. What started as doodles in my notebook transformed into a passionate pursuit of a craft that allows me to express my creativity in unimaginable ways.  

The University of California represents the next step in my animation adventure. I’m excited about the opportunity to study animation in a structured and collaborative environment, where I can learn from experienced professionals and immerse myself in this art form. My dream is to work in the animation industry, creating stories that touch hearts, inspire minds, and make people believe in the magic of animation.  

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

One of the most significant educational barriers I’ve faced is my struggle with dyslexia. Reading and writing doesn’t come naturally to me, and for a long time, I felt like I was lagging behind my peers. The education system seemed designed for students who could effortlessly absorb information from textbooks, while I had to fight for every word.  

I was determined not to let dyslexia define me and sought out opportunities to overcome it. I reached out to a school counselor who connected me with Learning Ally, a specialized reading program. Through countless hours of hard work and dedication, I began to make progress. It was slow, but it was progress—and that’s what mattered most to me.  

I also tapped into tools like text-to-speech software and speech recognition. These resources allowed me to engage with the material in a way that accommodated my unique learning style. They transformed my educational experience, giving me a sense of empowerment and independence.  

Soon, I began to realize the power of resilience. My struggle with dyslexia taught me that it’s not the challenges we encounter, but how we confront them, that truly matters. I became more proactive about advocating for my educational needs and helping other students with similar challenges.  

By taking advantage of the educational opportunities available to me and embracing the tools that could help me succeed, I learned that every obstacle is an opportunity in disguise. I may not be the fastest reader or have the strongest writing skills, but I’ve developed a unique perspective and a tenacity that will serve me well in the future.  

I aim to carry this spirit of determination with me to the University of California. Overcoming my educational barriers made me ready to face any challenge that comes my way. I hope to inspire others who face similar hurdles to believe in their own ability to overcome obstacles.  

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Childhood cancer. These two words don’t just represent a medical condition—they carry emotional weight.  

My younger sister’s leukemia diagnosis was gut-wrenching for our family. Then came a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments, hospital stays, and endless uncertainty into our lives. My parents were consumed by the daily fight for my sister’s life. The stress and emotional toll of the situation were immense, and it inevitably impacted my academic performance.  

Eventually, I learned to manage my time effectively, squeezing in study sessions during hospital visits and late nights. I explained my situation to teachers and my school counselor, and they provided the necessary support and accommodations to help me stay on track academically.  

I became involved in initiatives to raise awareness and funds for leukemia research. I organized fundraisers, volunteered at children’s hospitals, and participated in awareness campaigns. These actions not only provided a sense of purpose during a challenging time but also allowed me to make a difference in the lives of other families facing similar battles.  

Academically, it’s been a rollercoaster ride. I’ve had periods of academic excellence, followed by moments where I struggled to keep up. But I’ve come to realize that true success isn’t defined by grades; it’s about rising to a challenge and finding strength in the face of adversity. My sister taught me that.  

My sister faced a life-threatening illness, but she rose to the challenge and has been cancer-free now for a year. Her strength inspires me. I now aspire to become a pediatric oncologist, using my knowledge and passion to help children like my sister.  

This challenging time affected my academic achievement, but it also transformed me into a stronger, more compassionate individual. I hope to use what I learned from this experience as fuel for my academic journey and my future mission to help children and families facing childhood cancer.  

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Stars, galaxies, and black holes have always fascinated me. This cosmic curiosity isn’t limited to just the classroom.  

I’m that kid who can’t get enough of astrophysics: the theories of Einstein, the mysteries of dark matter, and the birth and death of stars—these are the puzzles I love to ponder. My teachers say I’m a space geek, and I wear that title proudly. I’ve aced my AP Physics and astronomy courses. When it comes to space, I can talk your ear off about everything from the Big Bang to wormholes.  

I founded an astronomy club at my school, and every stargazing night is a chance to explore the universe. Armed with telescopes, we scan the night sky, trying to spot distant galaxies and nebulae. There’s something magical about watching a meteor shower or the phases of the moon. I’m connecting with the cosmos, and it’s mesmerizing.  

I’ve also helped organize public telescope viewings at a park near my house. Sharing my passion with others is as thrilling as uncovering the secrets of the universe. Watching the wonder in a child’s eyes as they see Saturn’s rings for the first time is a feeling like no other.  

Outside of school, I follow the latest discoveries, read scientific journals, and even tune into space exploration missions. When NASA’s Perseverance rover touched down on Mars, I was glued to the live feed, dreaming of the day I might work on such missions myself.  

I’m excited to meet other space geeks in college, joining them in exploring the mysteries of the cosmos and contributing to humanity’s understanding of the universe. I’m looking forward to taking the next step toward making my dream of becoming an astrophysicist a reality.

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

I believe that even small gestures can create ripples of change, and that’s what I’ve set out to do in my school and in my community.  

I helped make my school a better place by starting a kindness club. It all began with a simple idea: to spread positivity and create a more inclusive environment. We organize events like “Compliment Day” and “Kindness Challenges” to encourage students, teachers, and staff to uplift one another. Through these activities, I’ve seen smiles, laughter, and friendships bloom. It’s been heartwarming to witness the impact of kindness on our school culture.  

Mentoring younger students has also been incredibly rewarding. I volunteer as a tutor at an after-school program, helping the students with their homework and providing academic support. It’s not just about assisting them with their schoolwork—I offer encouragement and help them develop confidence in their abilities.   

Beyond these organized efforts, I’m a firm believer in leading by example. I try to be a source of positivity and support for my peers. Whether it’s offering a listening ear or helping someone who’s struggling, I want to be someone others can lean on.  

These experiences have not only enriched my school and community but have also taught me the power of compassion, empathy, and the importance of giving back. As I look ahead to college, I hope to continue making a positive impact. Whether it’s through joining service-oriented clubs or starting new initiatives, I’m excited to contribute to my new community in any way I can. Because, in the end, it’s not about grand gestures; it’s about the collective effort to spread positivity and make the world a better place, one small act at a time.  

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

In my small Sierra County, California, town, opportunities for exposure to the vast expanse of knowledge and experiences tend to be scarce. The resources required for an ambitious student’s intellectual growth are limited, and it’s quite a distance to any town with robust educational amenities. However, amidst this lonely setting stands a beacon of hope and knowledge—our local library.  

The library is my haven, my classroom, and my window to the world beyond the comforting but stifling embrace of small-town life. It is where my curiosity is nurtured and my ambitions are fueled. The library’s partnership with other libraries allows me to access a wider range of materials, and I take advantage, checking out an array of books and magazines that supplement my classroom learning and open my mind to the wider world.   

I believe the self-discipline, resourcefulness, and inquisitiveness I honed during those countless hours in the library make me a strong candidate for admission to the University of California. I am accustomed to making the most of what is available, a skill that will serve me well in a university setting. Moreover, my humble upbringing instilled in me the values of hard work, determination, and a genuine appreciation for education.  

I am excited about the prospect of transitioning from a small town to a prestigious institution where the opportunities and resources are boundless. I am eager to contribute my unique perspective shaped by my experiences and in turn, learn from the myriad experiences of others.  

I may have fewer accolades compared to those from more resourceful backgrounds. However, I have a relentless spirit, a profound appreciation for learning, and a ceaseless curiosity to explore beyond the familiar. I am poised to embrace the vast academic and extracurricular opportunities at the University of California, eager to continue my journey of self-discovery and contribute to the community with the earnestness and determination that have brought me this far.  

Once you have a draft for the four prompts you selected, it’s time to start revising and refining. 

UCLA Personal Statement Tips   

The UCLA admissions committee is looking for responses that ring true, so feel free to demonstrate your personality in your essays. Admissions officers can tell when a student isn’t being authentic! Nothing makes your essay more authentic than writing about what excites and motivates you. IvyWise counselor Victoria suggests thinking about what you love to do and what you’re interested in so you can “think about ways that you can show who you are, how you think about the world, and what’s important to you through those topics.” 

While you’re encouraged to be yourself, it’s also important to be cautious. The UCLA admissions office advises students to “be careful with humor and clichés” in their essays. Humor can be easily misinterpreted, and clichés are unoriginal and detract from your voice. As the examples above illustrate, using specific details to show UCLA who you are is important. Just keep in mind that they want to know more about who you are right now than who you plan to be in the future.  

Even with these tips, you might struggle to craft your essays for UCLA. IvyWise is here to help! Our counselors have served as admissions officers at some of the top colleges and universities in the U.S. and have read thousands of essays. Schedule an Initial Consultation to learn how we can help you with the college admissions process.  

Related Topics

Related posts.

• IvyWise Scholars Spotlight: Mary
• IvyWise Scholars Spotlight: Nevaeh
• 5 Ways to Narrow Down Your College List
• What to Do The Morning of the SAT and ACT
• Insightful Tips for Adjusting to Life as a Transfer Student
• Admission Rates
• Choosing a College
• College Admission Advice
• College Planning
• In the Press
• Just Admit It Podcast
• Student Life

Home » IvyWise College Admissions Blog » College Admission Advice » College Application Tips » UCLA Personal Statement: FAQ, Examples & Insider Tips

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essays: Examples + Tips

Reviewed by:

Former Admissions Committee Member, Columbia University

Reviewed: 6/27/24

Learn how to craft exceptional UCLA supplemental essays with examples and expert tips. Elevate your application and stand out as a top candidate.

Like every aspiring candidate who wants to attend UCLA , you are expected to write supplemental essays to compel the admission committee. These essays allow you to express yourself, your interests, and your aspirations.

Writing compelling essays starts with understanding what the school is looking for. As noted in its Core Curriculum , UCLA values an academic journey that promotes diverse exploration, reflected in its essay prompts.

This guide will provide valuable tips on how to write UCLA essays. It’ll also provide some UCLA essays that worked for you to draw inspiration from. Let’s get into it.

UCLA Personal Insight Question (PIQ) Prompts 2024-2025

Here are UCLA essay prompts :

“Describe an example of a leadership experience in which you’ve positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.”

“Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.”

“ What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?”

“Describe how you’ve taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you’ve faced.”

Prompt #5  

“ Describe the most significant challenge you’ve faced and the steps you’ve taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?”

Prompt #6  

“ Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you’ve furthered this interest inside and/or outside the classroom.”

Prompt #7  

“What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?”

Prompt #8  

“Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?”

How to Write Each Essay Prompt for UCLA

Let’s take a quick look at how to write each prompt.

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #1 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #1 : In this prompt, UCLA wants to understand your leadership abilities. They want to know when you've positively influenced others, mediated disputes, or contributed to a group effort. Your response should showcase your leadership skills and the impact they've had over time.

• Pick an Experience : Choose an experience, preferably from high school, that demonstrates your leadership. It could be from a school club, community service project, or personal initiative.
• Show Impact : Highlight not just what you did but the positive influence it had. How did you inspire others? How did your leadership contribute to a resolution or group success?
• Reflect on Growth : Discuss how this experience shaped you as a leader. Mention what you've learned from it and how it will contribute to your future at UCLA.

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #2 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #2 : UCLA values creativity, and this prompt encourages you to express your creative side. Whether through problem-solving, innovative thinking, or artistic works, they want to know how you unleash your creative potential.

• Pick a Niche : Determine your creative outlet, whether it's through art, science, technology, or any other field. It could be a personal project, a scientific discovery, or a piece of art.
• Tell a Story : Share a narrative about a specific instance that illustrates your creative abilities. Describe your challenge, the solution you crafted, or the artwork you produced.
• Show Impact : Explain how your creativity has made a difference. Has it solved a problem, inspired others, or resulted in an innovative solution?
• Connect to Future Goals : Link your creativity to your future aspirations. How will this creative side benefit you at UCLA and beyond?

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #3 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #3 : In this prompt, UCLA is interested in your exceptional abilities. You should discuss your greatest talent or skill, how you've developed it, and instances where you've demonstrated it.

• Identify Your Talent : Start by identifying your unique talent or skill. It could be in the arts, sports, academics, or any other area where you excel.
• Share Your Experience: Describe how you discovered and nurtured this talent. Discuss any challenges or obstacles you overcame.
• Highlight Achievements : Provide concrete examples of when you've showcased this talent. Share any awards, recognitions, or significant accomplishments.
• Connect to Growth : Explain how this talent has evolved. How has it influenced your personal development, and how might it benefit the UCLA community?

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #4 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #4 : UCLA wants to know about your educational journey. This prompt asks you to detail a significant educational opportunity you've seized or a barrier you've had to overcome.

• Pick a Story : Choose a pivotal educational opportunity or barrier in your academic journey. This could be a specific class, project, or academic challenge.
• Describe Opportunity/Barrier : Explain the situation clearly. What was the opportunity or obstacle? How did it impact your education?
• Your Response : Discuss your response to this situation. Did you seize the opportunity, and how did it enhance your education? If it was a barrier, what actions did you take to overcome it?
• Highlight Growth : Reflect on how this experience affected your academic achievement and personal growth.

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #5 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #5 : This question focuses on challenges you've faced and your efforts to overcome them. Describe your most significant challenge and how it influenced your academic achievements.

• Define the Challenge : Clearly outline the adversity you've faced. It could be personal, academic, or a combination of both.
• Explain Impact : Discuss how this challenge affected your academic performance, mindset, and determination.
• Overcoming Obstacles : Describe the steps you took to overcome this adversity. What strategies did you employ? What support did you seek?
• Show Resilience : Emphasize your resilience and determination. What have you learned from this challenge, and how have you grown?

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #6 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #6 : This question centers on your academic interests and what inspires you. Describe an academic subject that excites you and how you've pursued it inside and outside the classroom.

• Choose Your Passion : Select an academic subject that genuinely inspires you. Explain why it resonates with you.
• Show Engagement : Discuss how you've explored this subject. Mention specific courses, books, projects, or research related to it.
• Highlight Your Dedication : Highlight extracurricular activities, clubs, or personal initiatives that further your passion for this subject.
• Connect to UCLA : Explain how this academic passion aligns with your future goals and why it makes you a great fit for UCLA.

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #7 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #7 : UCLA values community engagement. Share how you've contributed to making your school or community a better place.

• Choose Your Impact : Highlight a specific project, initiative, or role where you've positively impacted your school or community.
• Demonstrate Your Contribution : Describe your role and the contributions you've made. What changes or improvements have you facilitated?
• Reflect on Values : Explain how your engagement aligns with your values and aspirations. How will your community spirit benefit UCLA?
• Inspire Others : Discuss any instances where your actions have inspired others to join your cause or carry on your work.

How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essay #8 + Analysis and Tips

Analysis of Prompt #8 : In this open-ended prompt, you can share something unique about yourself that hasn't been covered in other parts of your application.

• Say Something New : Use this space to provide fresh insights about yourself. Avoid repeating information from other essays.
• Talk About Your Strengths : Highlight your unique strengths, experiences, or perspectives that set you apart.
• Why UCLA : Share what makes you a strong candidate for admission to UCLA. How do your qualities and experiences align with the university's values and mission?
• Show Authenticity : Be yourself and let your genuine personality shine through in your response.

These tips should help you write each of UCLA's Personal Insight Questions effectively. If followed, you can increase your chances of standing out among numerous candidates.

Examples of UCLA Supplemental Essays That Worked

Below are some UCLA-accepted essays from admitted students to give you inspiration and insights. Take note of our expert insight into why it worked.

Sample Essay #1

Prompt #1 : “Describe an example of a leadership experience in which you’ve positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.”

Take a look at this essay example:

“It was her fourth honor council. I sat on the committee for her third that granted her one last chance. It was mid-April–just weeks before graduation, and she would walk across the stage with her diploma. The third honor council debated for hours about the best course of action. No student had ever been given 4 chances without separation from the school. One attendee argued for her future in retaining her college admission, while another suggested her negative impacts on the school community. After hours of debate, the honor council was split. It was left up to just a few of her peers to decide her fate. We reviewed her previous violation, and then it appeared: “Any future violations of school rules WILL result in separation from the school”. I believe strongly in seeking first to understand a person’s circumstances before drawing judgment, and I think there is great value in the second chance. Unfortunately, this student was unable to take responsibility after failing on multiple counts, and we eventually decided it would be best for the community if she separated from the school. She was given the opportunity to receive her diploma after successfully completing online classes.

Hard decisions like these have been a driving factor in shaping my character and values caring for the greater good of the community. I faced discrimination as a person with learning differences, which prompted me to solve issues of inequity through leadership positions. I give back to the community by leading school discussions about acts of hate and aggression that happen on and off campus, and I strive to create diversity and inclusion by attracting new people to [CITY]. I attempt to create a well-rounded incoming class of freshmen that will better the FVS community and help to solve issues of discrimination and a lack of diversity on campus. Together, my roles have heavily aligned with my values of creating diversity and solving a wide range of issues on campus.”

Why Essay #1 Worked

This essay demonstrates the applicant's commitment to fairness, accountability, and the welfare of the community. 

The opening narrative about the honor council meeting showed the applicant's involvement in challenging and impactful decisions. It portrays their dedication to upholding integrity and fairness, which aligns well with the university's values. 

The essay ties this experience to the applicant's personal growth and values, emphasizing their commitment to addressing discrimination, promoting diversity, and improving the community. 

It highlights the applicant's leadership, problem-solving abilities, and dedication to creating a more inclusive and equitable environment, making it a strong response to the prompt.

Sample Essay #2

Prompt #2 : “Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.”

Check out this essay example:

“The test covered L’Hopital’s Rule and Related Rates–a topic I felt I had mastered but would need extra time to complete. But there I was. Waiting patiently with everyone else for [NAME] to hand out the test. As a student with a learning difference, I had a written contract for accommodations: extended time in a distraction free setting, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time this happened, and I knew how this story would unfold. He placed the test on my desk. I frantically solved as many problems as I could. I flew through the first half of the test, but just as I began solving related rates, I heard a disappointing “5 Minutes Left”. I frantically jotted down anything that came to mind on the remaining portion of the test, but it didn’t matter. Time was up.

I sat quietly in class the next day, enraged. Every question I completed was correct, but it didn’t make up for the unattempted problems. “79%” engraved in dark red ink. What’s worse, he wrote, “Why didn’t you try these problems?” across the page of unanswered questions. Nearly every problem I attempted on any quiz or test in his class was mathematically correct, but I ran out of time on almost every assessment. It didn’t matter how good I truly was at Precalculus.

Until then, I had a hard time advocating for myself. That day something ignited in me and I knew I carried the responsibility to advocate for not only myself but for other students with learning differences. I wrote a letter to the school which reviewed the rights of students with learning differences set forth by the ADA. The following semester, my teacher was obligated to allow accommodations in his class, and as a result, those of use with differences were allowed “equal playing time.” The grade I received that semester did not reflect my mastery of Honors Precalculus, but it was a very impactful experience. I now understand the mental burden true discrimination can have on a person, and I carry the motivation to fight it.”

Why Essay #2 Worked

This essay shows the applicant's resilience and advocacy in adversity. It narrates a challenging situation in a math test and conveys the frustration and injustice the student felt. 

The essay then skillfully transitions into the applicant's transformation, highlighting their decision to advocate not only for themselves but for others with learning differences, which is a compelling display of leadership and resilience. 

Additionally, the applicant's essay demonstrates growth, showing how a challenging experience can lead to meaningful change, making it a strong response to the prompt and providing valuable insights into the applicant's character and determination.

Sample Essay #3

Prompt #4 : “Describe how you’ve taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you’ve faced.”

Take a look at this UCLA essay example: 

“My grandfather delights in scenic diversions while traveling, and I am his willing companion on road trips. Our journeys have taken us to trails and prime fishing spots as memorable as our final destination. Information processing in my brain resembles these scenic journeys. I have dyslexia, and one of the greatest challenges I have overcome has been to find the beauty and advantage in the way my neural pathways function–never a direct route and usually a lengthy journey. 

Learning to read was an arduous undertaking for me. While my siblings learned to read with ease, I toiled along and avoided tasks that involved reading. After I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I drudged through hours of remediation and studied twice as hard as my neurotypical peers. I had difficulty attributing my success to natural ability because I worked so hard to attain it. It wasn’t until my freshman year that my mindset shifted. A guest speaker visited my school to talk about the gifts of neurodiversity. As I listened, I began to think about my own neural pathways as roadways for information. I realized that my destination is the same as someone with an ordinary brain, but information in my brain takes the scenic route. I then started uncovering the benefits of neurodiversity. Dyslexia has helped me excel in forming creative solutions to problems, and as my classes become more advanced, the processing differences become less apparent. What’s more, I’ve spent my life working hard to spot and rectify errors, reading and re-reading passages, and intensely persevering to meet my own high expectations. This has culminated in a work ethic for which I will always have muscle memory. Above all, I now confidently own my success.

As I reflect on expeditions with my grandfather, it is clear my experience on the road could never be the same as my siblings, who rode with my parents in the “fast car”. I would never trade the memories made for the time spent. As for my neural pathways, I am content knowing that my brain will always take me where the fish are biting.”

Why Essay #3 Worked

This essay uniquely recounts the applicant's journey with dyslexia through road trips with their grandfather, offering a relatable analogy. It begins with the struggle of learning to read and shifts to embracing the advantages of neurodiversity, demonstrating resilience and self-awareness. 

The narrative is well-structured, engaging, and effectively addresses the prompt, showcasing the applicant's personal growth and ability to overcome challenges. 

The essay's conclusion creatively ties the road trips with the neural pathways, leaving a memorable and cohesive impression. This narrative effectively communicates the applicant's journey and growth.

Sample Essay #4

Prompt #5 : “Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you’ve furthered this interest inside and/or outside the classroom.”

Let’s go over an essay example: 

“The assignment was to scrape and organize many DNA sequences from a database. It was late on a Sunday night, and I hadn’t started the assignment. I opened my laptop and saw the article I had been reading earlier that day. “Coronavirus has now killed 250 thousand people in the United States”. I moved it aside to start the project that was due the next morning. After spending hours finding creative ways to scrape the data I desired, I began debugging. I spent another hour tirelessly fixing problems that wouldn't allow my code to run. I turned back to the web to see if Stack Overflow had the answers to my questions. Then I saw it again: “Coronavirus has now killed 250 thousand people in the United States”. I put it aside but pondered how I could apply web scraping to a real-world crisis like COVID-19. I began debugging but was overtaken by my curiosity. I diverged from my school project and began writing code to scrape a COVID database and organize it into data frames. Eventually, after scraping tons of data, I glanced at the clock: 4 AM and I still had not finished my assignment. It was time to get to work. I drudged through another hour of debugging and eventually finished. I glanced outside my window and saw bright beams of sunlight poking through the dense fog on the mountains, so I quickly grabbed my things and ran out the door for school.

 I was energized by the real-world application of what I was learning in my directed study, “Using Python for Research.” It inspired me to continue taking courses in addition to those offered at my school, such as “Analyzing Data with R” and “Multivariable Calculus.”

Why Essay #4 Worked

This essay showed the applicant's drive, problem-solving skills, and ability to connect classroom learning to real-world applications. The story of how the applicant was initially distracted by news about the pandemic but then redirected their focus towards using their coding skills to contribute to COVID-19 research is compelling. 

It demonstrates their initiative, adaptability, and genuine passion for using their education to make a meaningful impact, aligning with qualities sought by universities like UCLA.  

These essays generally work for UC schools. So, if you’re contemplating applying to UCLA, USC , or even UC Berkley, these tips will work fine. However, it’s important to familiarize yourself with the nuances of writing specific UC essays since they each have their own requirements.

Get More Samples Essays Here!

If you’re interested in reading more UCLA supplemental essays that worked, visit our admission essays database . The database has a collection of successful essays for schools across the country.

FAQs: How to Write UCLA Supplemental Essays

Here are answers to questions on how to write UCLA supplemental essays .

1. How Many Essays Does UCLA Require?

UCLA requires eight essays for freshmen applicants and four essays for transfer applicants.

2. How Important Are Essays for the University of California, Los Angeles?

Essays are highly important for UCLA admissions as they provide insights into your character, experiences, and aspirations.

3. How Much Does UCLA Supplemental Essays Matter for Transfers?

UCLA admissions essays matter very much for transfer applicants; they help evaluate their readiness and fit for the university.

4. What’s the Maximum Word Count for Each UCLA Personal Insight Question?

The maximum word count is 350 words. Each essay response should be no more than this word count. 

5. How Do I Submit My UCLA Supplemental Essays?

You submit the essays through the UC application portal when applying.

6. Are There Any Specific Formatting Requirements for UCLA Piqs?

Keep your responses in plain text (no formatting, such as bold text, italics, underlining, etc.) and avoid special characters or symbols.

Final Thoughts

Writing the UCLA supplemental essays gives you a unique opportunity to show your individuality and experiences. To craft compelling narratives that align with each prompt, focus on your personal growth and contributions. 

UCLA values these essays, so invest time in making them memorable. Highlight your strengths and aspirations while thoughtfully addressing life challenges. Good luck with your UCLA application!

Get A Free Consultation

You may also like.

How to Get Into UPenn: Admission Requirements & Tips

How to Get Into UC Davis | Acceptance Rate & Requirements

Think you can get into a top-10 school? Take our chance-me calculator... if you dare. 🔥

Last updated March 21, 2024

Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Essay Examples , UC Essays > 8 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

8 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

We talk a lot about essays in the college application process. And for good reason. Essays are one of the most critical parts of your application, and the University of California Personal Insight Questions are no different. Even though they’re quite different from personal statements or supplemental essays , UC essays serve a similar purpose: to help admissions officers get to know you and envision you on their campus.

But the tricky thing about UC essays is that they have a very particular style and form. If you don’t write your UC essays in the right way, you risk tanking your application.

Writing them the right way, however, can land you in the admit pile.

So how do you write your own outstanding UC essays? We recommend you start by reading outstanding examples.

As writing coaches, we know that the best way to become a better writer is to read. More specifically, if there’s a type of writing you want to improve on, then you should read more in that genre.

For you, that means reading UC essays to help prepare you to write your own.

And in this post, you won’t just be reading example UC essays. You’ll also see commentary from former admissions officers that will help guide you through why each essay works.

Let’s get started.

The UC Personal Insight Question Prompts

The University of California system, which consists of nine campuses across the state, requires students to apply directly via their institutional application portal. That means that you won’t be submitting your Common Application to them or writing school-specific supplemental essays. Instead, you’ll choose four of the following eight prompts to respond to.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Once you have your prompts chosen, the essays themselves should be no greater than 350 words each.

Together, your essays should be different but cohesive enough to tell a fairly complete story of who you are.

Before we get to the examples, we have a few tips to keep you on track.

How to Write the UC Personal Insight Questions

Okay, so we actually have a whole other comprehensive guide to the UC essays that breaks down the process in extreme detail.

So for now, we’ll just go over the essentials.

What’s helpful about the UC PIQs is that we don’t have to guess what admissions officers are looking for—the UCs tell us directly in the Points of Comprehensive Review . Read through all thirteen points, but pay special attention to #10. That’s where your essays will be doing the heaviest lifting.

With that in mind, there are four rules for writing UC essays that you should stick to like glue:

Answer the prompt.

We’ll say it again for the people in the back: answer the prompt! The UC essay prompts ask very specific questions and contain multiple parts. If you misinterpret the prompt, you may end up writing the completely wrong essay.

You might find that diagramming or annotating the prompts helps you pull out the important pieces. Break down what each of your chosen prompts asks you to do, and list out all the questions in order. That way, you’ll make sure you’re not missing anything.

Skip the fluff.

Your personal statement likely has some creative descriptions or metaphors. You may have even incorporated figurative or poetic language into your supplementals. And that’s great. In fact, that’s encouraged (within reason, of course).

But UC essays are different. They’re all business.

Whereas your personal statement might open with an attention-catching hook that describes a scene in vivid detail, your UC essays should jump straight in. In general, your essay should be organized in a clear way that tells a straightforward story.

Focus on action steps.

As we saw in the Points of Comprehensive Review, admissions officers want to learn about how your concrete experiences have shaped you. That means that your essays should revolve around action steps rather than, say, 350 words of intense personal reflection. What those action steps should look like will depend on the prompts you’ve chosen. But by the end of your essay, your admissions officers should know what you’ve done and why.

Show a strength.

In the UC essays, it’s easy to get caught up in the details of the prompt and style of the essay. But don’t lose sight of the purpose of any college essay in the process: to showcase a strength to your admissions officers.

Every UC essay you write should correspond with a specific strength. That might be wisdom, artistry, good judgement, entrepreneurship, leadership—you get the idea.

Let’s say you want one of your essays to demonstrate leadership. The idea isn’t that you come out and say, “This shows that I am a leader.” Instead, by the end of the essay, after reading about everything you’ve done and reflected on, your admissions officers should sit back in their chair and say, “Wow, that student is a leader.” You’ll see what we mean in the examples.

Because of all these golden rules, your UC essays will look quite different than your Common Application essay or supplementals. They’ll probably look quite different from any essay you’ve written.

That’s where examples come in handy. Ready to dive in?

UC Prompt 1: Leadership

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Prompt 1 Example Essay

When we moved to a new neighborhood, my dad always complained about the house next to us. Full of weeds and random objects, it had clearly been neglected(( Notice how, at least compared with common application personal essays, the tone of this essay is much more staid?)) .

I didn’t pay much attention to his complaints until one day when I saw that our neighbor was an elderly man. He was struggling to bring his trash to the bins outside. Suddenly, it all clicked. If taking out the garbage was a challenge, then surely he wasn’t able to do yard work. That’s why it looked neglected.

My dad always taught me that leadership isn’t about giving orders. It’s about doing what needs to be done(( A direct, succinct definition of leadership.)) . With this advice in mind, I decided that I would help our neighbor.

After my realization, I went and knocked on our neighbor’s door. I introduced myself and learned that his name was Hank. When the time was right, I informed him that I’d be cutting our grass the following weekend and would love to cut his as well. Hank initially refused.

Speaking with Hank, I learned that leadership is also about listening to people’s needs(( Showing a lesson from the experience.)) . In that moment, Hank needed to be reassured that I wanted to help. I told him it would be easy for me to cross over to his yard while I had the equipment out. He finally agreed.

The next Saturday, I got to work. The job would be bigger than I expected. All the objects needed to be picked up before I could mow. I decided to enlist the help of my two younger siblings. At first, they said no. But a good leader knows how to inspire, so I told them about Hank and explained why it was important to help. Together, we cleaned up the yard. Now, each time I mow our lawn, I mow Hank’s afterward.

Through this experience, I learned that leadership is about seeing problems and finding solutions. Most importantly, it’s about attitude and kindness(( The author of this essay does a good job staying focused on a clear definition.)) . The neighborhood is grateful that the eyesore is gone, Hank is grateful for the help, and I am grateful for my new friend.

Word Count: 343

UC Essay Checklist

Does the writer convey a strength?

Yes. The writer shows initiative in seeking out the neighbor and willingness to help in all the hard work they did.

Is every part of the prompt answered?

Yes. Since this prompt has an “or,” we know that the writer doesn’t have to meet every single criterion listed. They respond to the “positively influenced others” part of the prompt, which we can see through their interactions with their neighbor.

Does the writer adhere to UC conventions?

Yes. The essay is straightforward and clearly organized. The writer lists action steps in chronological order.

UC Prompt 2: Creativity

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Prompt 2 Example Essay

As a cellist, I express my creativity through music(( Directly answering the prompt up front. )) . Whether I’m playing in a symphony, chamber orchestra, quartet, or solo performance, I bring my art to the world with my instrument. My creativity has transformed me from a small child playing out of tune to a solo artist featured in my state’s youth symphony.

I’ve loved music from a young age, and I began playing the cello when I was six years old. What began as a hobby to keep an energetic child engaged has become my life’s purpose.

At first, I only played along with my private lesson teacher, Ms. Smith. I loved dancing my fingers across the fingerboard, plucking the strings, and making screeching noises with my bow. Ms. Smith told my parents that I had promise but needed to develop discipline. Despite my young age, I listened. By the time I reached middle school, I had made principal cellist in my school’s orchestra. Leading a section of fellow cellists brought my creativity to a whole new level. Not only was I expressing myself through my own music, but I also expressed myself through my leadership. With a subtle nod or an expressive sway, I learned to shape the music those behind me played. I felt most comfortable and free when I was playing my cello.

That feeling only grew as I moved into high school. In ninth grade, I landed my first solo. With it came a new creative sensation: stage fright(( This part of the essay distracts a bit from the main theme.)) . Until then, I’d only experienced positive emotions while playing. I needed to make solo performance more positive. With endless practice and exercises like playing for the public on the sidewalk, I learned that solo performance is simply a way to share my love of music with those around me.

Now, as principal cellist of my state’s youth orchestra, I jump at the chance to perform any solo I can get. Getting to this point has taken me countless late nights practicing in my bedroom and weekends spent in rehearsals. But without my cello to express my creative side, I wouldn’t be me.

Word Count: 347

Yes. The writer is an artist—a musician specifically. Their creativity shines through.

Yes. This prompt is pretty straightforward: “Describe how you express your creative side,” which the writer does by describing their love of the cello. Notice how the writer doesn’t just say they’re creative because they play the cello. They describe that creativity in detail.

Mostly. The short paragraph about stage fright takes us on a slight detour from the prompt. To make this essay even better, the writer could have eliminated that anecdote or reframed it to be more about creative expression.

UC Prompt 3: Talent or Skill

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Prompt 3 Example Essay

How many toes does an armadillo have? What were the main causes of the Crimean War? Who discovered atoms? When my friends or family have questions, they come to me for answers. I am an expert researcher. Although my passion for research began as a fun hobby, it has evolved into one of my greatest skills(( The writer opens with an interesting but not too out-there hook and then gets straight to answering the prompt.)) .

My first real mystery came when I was in ninth grade. My mom wanted to track down an old friend from high school but hadn’t had any luck searching on her own. Having grown up with the internet, I was my mom’s best chance. Not sure where to begin, I took to YouTube tutorials. Using the few family details my mom remembered, I tracked down the friend’s brother then found the friend’s married name(( Here’s a great example of what the skill looks like.)) . Alas–we found her on social media. I felt triumphant as I saw the happiness wash over my mom’s face.

Since then, my skill has grown exponentially(( And here the writer gets at the “developed and demonstrated the talent over time” part of the prompt.)) . Combining my natural curiosity with my love of history, I’ve advanced my research skills by volunteering with my local library for the past two years. I have learned about how keywords and search engines work, practiced cataloging and archiving, and waded my way through the intricacies of the library’s database technology. Suddenly, researching wasn’t just about finding people’s Facebook profiles. It was about having any information I wanted to find at my fingertips.

Access to information is more important now than ever. That’s why I decided to put my research knowledge to work. Part of being a good researcher is teaching others how to access information too, so I founded the SOHS Research Club. We begin each meeting by raising the hardest question we can think of, and I use the projector in the library to walk club members through my research process. Members have all gone on to share their knowledge with their friends and family. The SOHS Research Club has spread information literacy to my whole community(( Gesturing to the greater significance of the skill)) .

Looking ahead to all the ways my research skills will improve in college, I know that I’ll be ready to find an answer for anything.

Word Count: 350

Yes. We see that they’re not only skilled at research but also that they want to support their community.

Yes—but. The prompt asks about your greatest talent or skill . It also asks how you have developed and demonstrated that talent over time. The writer does answer these questions, but I’d like to see more about when the SOHS Research Club took place as part of this development.

Yes. The essay is clear, organized, and to-the-point.

UC Prompt 4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Prompt 4 Example Essay

I jump at any chance to get my hands dirty. I am an aspiring ecologist. I’m lucky enough to live in a college town, so I was elated last semester when a postdoctoral fellow invited me to join her research team(( Okay, looks like this writer is addressing the “how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity” part of the prompt.)) .

Although at first(( Good signposting and transitions. UC essays should be clear and straightforward. This writer easily walks us through the step-by-step of what happened.)) I was intimidated by the prospect of working alongside college students and faculty, I decided to embrace the opportunity to learn what being an ecologist is really like.

The project involved studying Asclepias syriaca populations in my local park. More commonly known as Milkweed, this flower species has a long and important history in North America, particularly for Indigenous people. After learning about its history as a food source, medicine, and critical part of ecological function, I couldn’t wait to be part of the research.

As a research assistant, I helped with data collection. We began by using twine to section off population groups in the park. Then, every week I returned to the populations to collect information about population growth. I counted the number of flowers in the population, and, with a clear ruler, I measured and recorded the height of every individual flower.

The work was tedious. On my hands and knees, I squinted at the millimeter markings, trying to obtain the most accurate measurements possible. Each week, I’d return home with muddy jeans and a smile on my face.

Participating in this research project taught me that being an ecologist is about much more than looking at plants(( Going beyond the research to reflect on lessons learned—nice!)) . It’s also about learning from mentors and engaging with and having respect for the historical context of the plants we study. Being a scientist is also not as glamorous as movies like Jurassic Park lead on. Instead, science requires careful planning, patience, and hard work.

But what I learned the most from this educational opportunity is that science doesn’t exist in some nebulous place. It exists right here in front of me. I look forward to continuing to use science to serve my community.

Word count: 328

Yes. We see their intellectual curiosity and willingness to learn through their research journey.

Yes. We have another “or” prompt! This time they’ve chosen to focus on an “educational opportunity,” which is the research project. They certainly explain how they “took advantage” of it.

Yes. There’s no fluff, just a coherent narrative focused on actions the writer took.

UC Prompt 5: Challenge

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Prompt 5 Example Essay

While most kids fear monsters, my greatest fear has always been tests. Since elementary school, I’ve dealt with incapacitating test anxiety. I’d sit down for a spelling test and faint from anxiety(( Straight into answering the prompt)) . Math tests in middle school would make me run to the bathroom ill. By the time I reached high school, where the testing stakes became even higher, my test anxiety increased exponentially.

More than normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, it is a diagnosis I wrestle with daily. Test anxiety caused me to miss a number of tests that I had no option to re-take. It’s caused me to receive abysmal scores on standardized and state tests, which has had repercussions in the classes I’m allowed to take(( Strategically, this was a good prompt for this student to answer because it gives them a way to contextualize any poor grades they earned early in high school. It also gets at the “academic achievement” part of the prompt.)) . My test anxiety has been the greatest challenge of my life. In a school system so reliant on testing, it has completely affected my ability to achieve academically.

By the time I took the PSATs, I couldn’t even move my hand to write my name. I knew something had to change. I reached out for help. My mom knew I had been struggling but didn’t understand the extent of my illness. Together, we contacted my school counselor, who told us how to find a therapist.

With my doctors, I worked to mitigate the effects of my test anxiety on a medical and psychological level(( Action steps! This prompt requires you to talk about the specific steps you took to overcome the challenge. The writer does exactly that in this paragraph.)) . I began taking beta-blockers that helped slow my heart rate, thus tricking my body into being less anxious. Alongside that, I spent months working through the reasons my brain interpreted testing as such a threat. I learned to appreciate my intrinsic value instead of relying on external factors like test scores. And rather than viewing tests as chances to fail, I began to understand them as opportunities to showcase my growth.

Now, after two long years of effort, I can take any test with ease. Since learning how to manage my disorder, I’ve successfully taken my driver’s test, SATs and ACTs, and all seven of my AP exams. I’m looking forward to all the tests I’ll take in college(( And we end on a very positive note that shows lots of growth)) .

Yes—which is difficult with this prompt. The writer doesn’t get bogged down in the challenge of having test anxiety. Instead, they use this prompt as an opportunity to show a strength: resilience to overcome such a difficult problem.

Yes. And this prompt has multiple parts, too. It wants you to describe 1) a challenge, 2) the steps you’ve taken to overcome the challenge, and 3) how the challenge affected your academic achievement. This writer does all three.

Yes. The writer doesn’t provide any poetic descriptions or metaphors. They say what they mean.

UC Prompt 6: Academic Interest

6.  Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt 6 Example Essay

Sitting in front of my baby cousin, I held my hands in front of my face. I quickly snapped them down and exclaimed, “Peek-a-boo!” Delighted, he erupted into laughter. From the perspective of my more developed brain, this game is quite boring. It’s overly repetitive, and the outcome—my face reveal—is basic and consistent. But to a brain that hasn’t yet gone through the sensorimotor phase of development, the game is a downright hoot. What I perceive as boring is actually magic to a baby’s mind. Without the concept of object permanence, my cousin thinks that I disappear completely behind my hands. When my face returns, he marvels as I inexplicably materialize in front of him. It’s no wonder he can play peek-a-boo for hours.

Since I took IB Psychology my sophomore year, I have been fascinated with child psychology(( It takes a paragraph before we get to the prompt (a bit too long), but I like the nerdiness the writer shows in the intro)) . No matter when or where we are born, we all undergo similar stages of development that help us understand the world around us. Imagine Albert Einstein chewing on a rock or Genghis Khan taking his first steps. Researching child development unlocks something universal and equalizing about the human experience.

Because of my interest in child psychology, I decided to get more involved with my community. I began by volunteering in a psychology lab at my local university. While there, I get our child participants settled before sessions. Occasionally I get to help with data collection. I also landed a job as a teacher’s aide at a nearby Head Start, where I feed lunches, play, and read. In both of these activities, I’ve learned so much about how to interact with toddlers, to think like they think, and to help them grow into kind and happy children(( This paragraph shows exactly how they’ve furthered their interest.)) .

My school doesn’t offer any additional psychology courses, so I took a community college class this summer. I’m looking forward to taking more advanced psychology classes as a psychology major, and I’m eager to bring the research skills I’ve been developing to one of the UC’s many child development labs. One day, I hope to use all these skills as a child therapist.

Word Count: 348

Yes. The student is very intellectually curious about child development—a perfect strength for this prompt.

Yes. The writer talks about an academic subject, child development, and describes how they advanced that interest through a research lab, classes, and a job at Head Start.

Yes—but. Overall, the essay does a great job adhering to UC essay conventions. But the first paragraph almost doesn’t. As it is, the writer stays focused on telling the story. However, it takes up quite a bit of space in the essay without really conveying much about the writer’s journey. If there were a metaphor or any poetic language in there, it would have been too far. Same goes for the snippet about Einstein and Genghis Khan—it adds personality but is close to overdoing it.

UC Prompt 7: School or Community

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Prompt 7 Example Essay

Nourishing loved ones by cooking for them is one of my biggest passions. But my hobby has become more difficult since moving to a food desert. Food deserts are areas without easy access to grocery stores or healthy foods. These disparities are clear in the school cafeteria, with the majority of students eating processed school lunches or packaged foods brought from home. I decided to do something about it.

The idea came to me one day as I made my way from AP Biology to my cooking elective. We needed a school community garden(( The writer sets up the stakes in the introduction so we truly understand the situation here)) . If we couldn’t access fresh foods in our neighborhood, then we would grow our own. We just needed a space to grow them and money to buy supplies.

I began by finding a spot to plant our garden. My friends and I walked around the entire school and decided that the courtyard would be the perfect place. After explaining my idea to the Assistant Principal, I got permission to proceed.

Next(( This paragraph is full of good action steps)) I raised money for the supplies. With $20 in seed money from my parents, which I promptly paid back, I drew and printed stickers to sell at lunch. The stickers were anthropomorphized vegetables. They cost $0.10 per sticker to make, and I sold them for $1.00 each. Soon enough, I had not only raised enough money to set up the garden, but I had rallied the whole school around my cause. Thirty of my classmates showed up, vegetable stickers on their water bottles, to help me plant the garden.

For the last year, we’ve maintained a spread of seasonal vegetables in the garden. We bring a basket to the cooking elective teacher each week so students can practice cooking with fresh vegetables, and we hold a daily farm stand at lunch(( And we see that they are legitimately improving their community)) . At the stand, students can grab whatever fresh produce they want to add to their lunch.

My school’s garden nourishes my community, and I am nourished every day by the fact that my efforts have made a true difference to those around me.

Word Count: 341

Yes. The writer shows really great initiative and community understanding in their willingness to start a community garden from scratch.

Yes. With only one question, this prompt is pretty straightforward. And the writer’s answer is simple: to make their school community a better place, they made a community garden.

Yes. The writer goes into detail about every step they took to make the community garden come to life. I especially like how the writer goes beyond these details to emphasize how much the community garden impacted the school community.

UC Prompt 8: Additional Information

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Prompt 8 Example Essay

When I posted a TikTok video of myself studying, I didn’t expect anyone but my friends to see it. But within hours, my video had gone viral— tens of thousands of people(( That’s a lot of people. This shows the magnitude and impact of the video.)) saw the carefully-crafted shots I’d taken of my desk setup and homework timelapse. The comment section flooded. People appreciated the work I’d put into curating the perfect desk. They thanked me for inspiring them to get started on their own homework. I was overwhelmed by the response.

At first I felt really shy. What if people from school saw it and made fun of me? I kept questioning myself so much that I completely froze. Finally, one comment caught my attention. It read, “I’ve been having a hard semester and can barely get myself out of bed, let alone to do my homework. But this is so calming! Maybe I’ll try.” That comment made me realize that it didn’t matter what people at my school thought. What mattered was that I loved making that video and it had made an actual difference in the lives of the people who saw it.

And that’s when I decided to make my mark on #StudyTok(( This is a pretty unique topic that wouldn’t have necessarily fit into the other prompt categories, which makes it a good candidate for prompt #8.)) . Since that first video, I’ve posted 318 others and accumulated over 35,000 followers(( More numbers to show impact)) . I’ve had more videos go viral and reach hundreds of thousands of people looking for work inspiration. Even the videos that some would see as “fails” still reach a couple hundred people. That may not be a big deal in the Internet world, but those same people would fill up my high school’s auditorium. My goal for every video is to make my viewers feel relaxed and able to take on whatever work they have to do. It helps me and my viewers complete our work.

These videos have made me more confident and organized, and I can’t wait to continue them in college. When I get an extra assignment or have to stay up late to finish a paper, I become excited instead of frustrated because I know that the little StudyTok community I’ve created will be there right alongside me.(( This conclusion drives home the what “makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the UC” part of the prompt.))

Yes. They show creativity through their video production and leadership through their huge community impact.

Mostly. This prompt is a tricky one to answer because its components aren’t as straightforward as the others. Through such a huge impact, the writer makes it implicitly clear why this story demonstrates that they are a good candidate for admissions to the UC, but the message could be more explicit.

Yes. The writer conveys the sequence of events in a clear and organized way, and they use good metrics to show the impact of their videos.

Key Takeaways

Did you catch our golden rules throughout? Yep. That’s what makes these essays stand out, and that’s what’ll make your essays stand out, too.

And even though these essays come from different students, hopefully you also got a sense of how an admissions officer reads a portfolio of essays for a single student.

Remember: just like your other applications, your overall goal for your UC application is to create a cohesive application narrative that shows your core strengths.

Having read all these essays, you’re now well on your way to writing your own. Try jumping into the Essay Academy or our UC essay writing guide  for help getting started.

Liked that? Try this next.

21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

How A Selective Admissions Office Reads 50k Applications In A Season

How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers

"the only actually useful chance calculator i’ve seen—plus a crash course on the application review process.".

Irena Smith, Former Stanford Admissions Officer

We built the best admissions chancer in the world . How is it the best? It draws from our experience in top-10 admissions offices to show you how selective admissions actually works.

• Skip to main content
• Skip to header right navigation
• Skip to site footer

College Magazine

College Life, Colleges, Career & Campus Advice

Why I Chose UCLA—And Why You Should, Too

Picking a college was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I did extensive research on the colleges I got into and slowly narrowed them down based on what I wanted most from my education. After reading countless articles (like this one) and watching endless Youtube videos about people’s experiences, I felt UCLA was the best school for me. Now in my senior year here, I still think it was the right choice.

Considering UCLA? Read pros and cons I considered when deciding where to go to college.

The pros of going to ucla:, 1. the resources.

From financial support, physical and mental health services, food security programs, career and academic counseling, or free legal services, UCLA has resources for almost everything. This was a major reason why I chose UCLA. I would get to access to so many things I didn’t need to worry about finding them off campus or feeling isolated.

It even has entire departments dedicated to supporting specific populations (shout out to the Bruin Resource Center , home of wonderful programs like the Veteran Resource Center, Transfer Student Center, Students with Dependents, Undocumented Students Program and so many more). If it’s one thing UCLA does well, it’s offering a variety of resources available to students from all backgrounds with different needs.

2. Extensive Network

Name a career field and I guarantee you there’s a Bruin working in it. UCLA has many programs dedicated to helping students achieve their career goals and getting them connected to alumn i. For example, UCLA One hosts an Alumni Mentorship Program where students can pick from thousands of alumni who have signed up to mentor and advise groups of students.

The Career Center often hosts networking events and workshops to get students involved and connected for all career fields as well. It also offers resume and cover letter reviews and one-on-one appointments to help search for internships and jobs.

A school’s connection to the job market was very important to me as I know a lot of it is based on networking these days. UCLA does a great job at this and in my four years here, I’ve gone to dozens of career fairs, workshops, and networking nights.

For two years, UCLA has been ranked the No. 1 public university in the country and 19th by the U.S News and World Report . Regardless of whether we beat out Berkeley, UCLA consistently ranking high for a reason. It’s one of the most academically rigorous and economically diverse schools that brings in top-notch professionals from around the world. Many of the departments themselves have exceptional rankings too.

I did consider this when deciding. Not because of bragging rights but because I really wanted a school where I knew I was going to get a well-rounded education.

4. Location

Who wouldn’t want to go to a college where it’s sunny and warm year-round? Nestled just across Sunset Boulevard from Bel-Air, UCLA is conveniently located to just about anywhere in L.A. It’s a mere 20-minute drive to Santa Monica beach, 30 minutes to Hollywood , and 45 minutes to Downtown L.A. (on a good day).

If you don’t feel like going too far, head to Westwood Village. The Fox and Bruin Theaters host red carpet movie premiers which are just a 10-minute walk from the dorms. The Getty is just down the 405 and the Hammer Museum is located right in Westwood.

And the campus itself is gorgeous. The architecture is amazing ( Royce Hall and Powell Library being the most famous). The campus boasts a large amount of plant life for being in the heart of a city. Plus the scenery is stunning. You get great views of the Santa Monica Mountains, especially from the very top of Janss Steps.

The Cons of Going to UCLA:

1. too many students, too little room.

UCLA is the smallest UC campus but has the largest population of all of the UCs. Acceptances have started to increase each year which is great for applicants but is starting to become a strain on the school’s resources.

• All dorms have been converted to triples. UCLA is set to build another dorm and a few more university apartments but they won’t be completed for at least another 2–4 years.
• Commuters, be warned. Parking is hard to come by and expensive. It’s difficult to get a parking permit and each quarter students get waitlisted due to the lack of availability.
• The more students there are, the more strain it puts on UCLA’s resources. For example, CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) is a great service that any student can, in theory, access. Unfortunately, there are simply not enough counselors to meet UCLA’s needs. Students on UCLA’s health plan, UCShip, are limited to six sessions per school year. Those with outside insurance only get three.

2. Research-Based

UCLA is a research school. This means the professors and the university as an institution are very focused on doing research in all fields, not just STEM. Professors focus on a certain area or topic in which they’ve dedicated their careers to. This is great for anyone looking to get into research but for those of us (like me) who aren’t interested in more schooling or a very niche area of research, it can be frustrating. You don’t get as broad of a learning experience as a traditional liberal arts school.

I didn’t encounter this until actually starting at UCLA. If you don’t plan on going into research or graduate school, this may be a red flag for you.

3. Class Size

Obviously, with more students, come larger class sizes. It’s common to have lectures with over 200 students. Normally you’ll be broken down into discussion sections where students can get more one-on-one attention. But it’s still difficult for a student to feel like they have a personal connection to a professor or TA.

Coming from a small, private high school, this was something I majorly considered. Would I transition well into a large, public school? How would I make friends? Would I get one-on-one help from my professors?

Enrollment is a struggle for many students. Freshmen and new transfer students have it the worst as they get the worst enrollment times. With late enrollment times, many classes fill up with upperclassmen who couldn’t get in as first or second years. This may be a problem when it comes to meeting major requirements or for some, like transfer students, who only have two-to-three years at UCLA instead of four.

Recap of My Time at UCLA

Overall, UCLA has been a great fit for me both academically and personally. I’ve loved my time here so far and although I’m sad to be leaving in June, I feel confident and prepared because of the education and access to resources I’ve received.

If you’re struggling to decide between schools or you’re just starting your research, figure out what you want most out of your college experience. Is it great academics or a big campus culture or top-ranked departments ? Whatever it is, use that to guide you through all your research and you’ll find it a lot easier to make a decision.

Bonus Pro: The Food

With four sit-down dining halls and four quick-service ones, there’s a large variety of food for undergrads. The food is also pretty allergy-friendly . From gluten-free to vegan to Halal, there’s many options for those with dietary restrictions. My favorites include De Neve Late Night’s chicken tenders and wings, Cafe 1919’s gelato, Rendezvous’ burrito bowl, and Covel’s ravioli.

You can get anything from a traditional burger and fries to North African-style honey-roasted chicken with Lebanese rice. Not your typical dorm food, right?

You’ll also enjoy these posts

MOST POPULAR posts

10 Gifts Your Girlfriend Actually Wants

20 Gifts for Parents That They Actually Want

10 DIY Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Actually Appreciate

11 Signs a Girl Likes You as More Than a Friend

MORE LIKE THIS

10 Famous UCLA Alumni That Have Shaped the Music Industry

Top 10 Coffee Spots Around UCLA

Top 10 Dining Halls at UCLA

10 Spots to Celebrate Your 21st Birthday Near UCLA

10 Colleges with the Best Dining Halls That’ll Make You Drool Just Hearing About Them

10 Classes at UCLA That Will Make You Excited to Do Your Homework

10 Ways UCLA Is Killing the College Experience Game

10 Ways to Get in Trouble at UCLA

24 Things to do in 24 Hours as a UCLA Student

check out these trending posts

21 Innovative Products Every College Student Wants

The Roommate Compatibility Quiz

Top 10 Colleges with Remarkable Women 2019

The 10 Best Colleges for Marine Biology

The Top 21 Female YouTubers of 2021

Top 10 Collegiate Archery Programs

About Jessica Marchesini

Jess is a senior at UCLA studying History. When she isn’t writing sci-fi or short stories, you can most likely find her watching a Marvel movie or at Disneyland.

• Medical School Application

UCLA Secondary Essay Prompts and Examples

Looking for UCLA secondary essay information? You've come to the right spot. In this blog, we will go over several UCLA secondary essay examples and give you tips for how to make your secondaries stand out!

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free initial consultation here <<

Listen to the blog!

Article Contents 8 min read

The David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) receives thousands of applicants each year competing for approximately 160 places into its MD program. Upon receiving the supplemental application request letter, students will have just fifteen days to complete and submit their secondary application, which requires addressing 10 different prompts. This is a tight timeline for most, so preparing your UCLA secondary essays in advance will allow for well-thought, well-crafted responses. This post will provide you with the UCLA secondary essay prompts along with sample essay examples.

Secondary applications are sent by medical schools between August - October to further assess a candidate's suitability for the profession. The secondaries are comprised of questions or prompts that are designed to help the admissions committee learn more about a candidate's passions, interests, and experiences. Applicants are required to answer these prompts while adhering to strict word or character counts. The length of each essay is school dependent, some prompts will require a response in 150 words, while others will allow for 1500 words. While some schools send out secondary applications to all applicants, others only send out secondaries to applicants they are interested in learning more about. While there are many medical school secondary essay examples , " why do you want to be a doctor ", " tell me about yourself " and  diversity essay medical school  prompts are common.

Every institution will have its own medical school application timelines . UCLA accepts applicants on a rolling admissions schedule. Once an applicant has received the secondary application request letter, applicants are given a maximum of 15 days to submit their application, or it's due by UCLA's mid-October deadline, whichever is earlier. Due to this, it's recommended that applicants submit their primary application to AMCAS early, well before the UCLA AMCAS application deadline. Here is UCLA's typical timeline:

Rolling offers of admission starting in October of the year of application "}]">

Each school has its own list of medical school secondary essays  comprised of between one to ten prompts on average. The UCLA medical school requirements call for 10 different secondary essay prompts, probing students to explore their interests, volunteer experience, significant achievements, and hardships. Use the examples below as a guideline to help you create your own unique responses.

1. Describe your involvement in the one most important non-academic activity in your life. (800 char)

In high school, I developed a hobby that quickly turned into a daily habit: exercising. Exercise has had a formidable impact on many areas of my life. Regular exercise creates discipline and amplifies my work ethic. When I was insecure, working out increased my confidence. Exercise gave me a sense of control by displaying the direct correlation between my hard work and the results that are attained. This revelation was first noticed through this habit, but it swiftly carried over to many other areas of my life as well. I strongly believe that this habit played a major role in my character development, and I would not be the same person I am today if I never began exercising.

Click here to see another response to this prompt.

2. What has been the one most unique leadership, entrepreneurial or creative activity in which you participated? (800 char)

While volunteering at the Arts Academy, a society serving those with disabilities, I noticed the boys participated in activities not otherwise available to girls. Many girls had issues making friends, while the boys seemed comfortable with each other. To improve the girl's situation, I started the first girls’ basketball team. Many families were against the girl's participation as they believed sports were for boys. By explaining the mental and physical health benefits of participating, I successfully convinced half of the families. The girls became more confident and self-sufficient. I felt accomplished, not just because I taught them basketball, but because they'd become friends. This experience taught me compassion, commitment, and how to work with people from different backgrounds.

1. Streamline your responses.

The UCLA secondary essay prompts are quite challenging for students. At first glance at the low character counts, you may feel relieved to discover you won't be writing ten different chapters. However, many of the prompts require a response between 300-500 characters, equating to roughly 3-5 sentences. To convey maturity, passion, and lessons learned in only a few sentences is extremely difficult. Students must be able to craft a concise, direct response to the question while adhering strictly to the character count. To create a streamlined response, focus on the main takeaway point that you want to convey, and structure your response around it.

2. Demonstrate self-reflection.

It isn't enough to simply state an experience that you've had when answering the UCLA secondary prompts, you need to be able to demonstrate your ability to self-reflect by conveying to the admissions committee what you learned, how an experience has helped your growth, and how it can benefit you as a physician. If you notice in the examples provided above, each entry includes a takeaway message which not only shows reflection, but also maturity and growth.

3. Perfect your spelling and grammar.

Your UCLA secondary essays have to be perfect as they are a direct reflection of who you are as a candidate. Mistakes indicate a lack of professionalism, a lack of interest, and therefore, a lack of suitability for the profession. It's essential to proofread your essays multiple times to ensure there are no spelling or grammatical errors. 

Like our blog? Write for us ! >>

Have a question ask our admissions experts below and we'll answer your questions, get started now.

Talk to one of our admissions experts

Our site uses cookies. By using our website, you agree with our cookie policy .

FREE Training Webinar:

How to make your secondary essays stand out, (even if you think you don't have extraordinary experiences).

Time Sensitive. Limited Spots Available:

We guarantee your acceptance to med school or you don't pay.

Swipe up to see a great offer!

How to Answer the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA Secondary Essays (With Example Responses) - Part 1

Making your ucla secondary application stand out.

UCLA Medical School, aka the David Geffen School of Medicine, gets nearly 10,000 applications each year and has an acceptance rate around 2 percent. This means that UCLA is a selective program and will look closely at all parts of your application when they decide which applicants to invite to their medical school interview days. A part of whether you get selected for an interview is based on your responses to the UCLA secondary essays. 

Below are some of the current (2019–2020 cycle) UCLA Medical School secondary essay prompts, examples of how to answer it, and a commentary on the quality of the answer.

I break this article down to two parts: with part 1 showing examples of what good answers would look like and part 2 showing examples of what bad answers would look like and the reason why. This is part 1, where I will show you some good examples of how to answer these UCLA secondary essay prompts. This is meant to give you inspiration and guidance on how to write your response in a short, but compelling and effective way. 

UCLA Secondary #1: Describe your involvement in the one most important non-academic activity in your life. (800 characters)

Example: I remember in kindergarten kicking and screaming when my mom pulled me away from my video games to go to piano practice. When I was younger, I avoided playing piano like the plague. I even froze during my piano recital because I didn’t spend enough time practicing and forgot the song midway. I learned my lesson to practice daily after that! In grade school, every day before dinner, I practiced the piano. It took time, but once I mastered the basics, I was able to create my own compositions and add my own style to my music. Piano taught me that discipline and consistency are the keys to developing a skill and this is something I apply to other aspects of my life. Now, I use piano as a stress reliever, and a way for me to switch off my academic brain and let my creative brain work.

Comments: This is 790 characters and it says a lot about the applicant. All the sentences weave together to tell the admissions committee a story about the applicant. It does not contain a lot of generic sentences with a lot of fluff or vague descriptions like “piano has helped me solidify my love of music.” All the sentences serve a purpose to the overall message (i.e. piano helped me develop my discipline and consistency, traits I’ve learned through piano, and I want to highlight these traits in my story). This applicant doesn’t just TELL you that he is disciplined. He paints that picture for the reader (i.e. every day before dinner, I played the piano). The applicant doesn’t try to list out all his piano abilities (i.e. I know music theory, I know how to compose a song, I know how to play piano better than anyone else). He tries to connect with his reader by focusing on ONE story, ONE outcome, ONE emotion (i.e. I was embarrassed at a piano recital, learned my lesson from that, and I learned that discipline is important to master a craft). The reader can relate to the emotions in the story (resistance, embarrassment) and has a sense of who the applicant is as a person in just 1 paragraph.

UCLA Secondary #2: What has been the one most unique leadership, entrepreneurial or creative activity in which you participated? (800 characters)

Example: While I was in college, my favorite course was an advanced music production course. I was classically trained in piano but I wanted to learn how to produce my own tracks. Our cornerstone project was to create a 5 song album. I was paired up with Dan and Jon. We all shared a love for hip-hop and jazz. We called ourselves Chord Concepts and started creating tracks that fused both music genres. Each of us had a special skill (like song writing, voice, mixing tracks) and used our strengths to create unique blends of sound. We would spend our weekends together in the studio figuring out creative remixes out of popular songs. Being part of Chord Concepts showed me the power of teamwork and drove home the saying that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Comments: This essay is 767 characters. The applicant chose to write about a creative activity that he could tie to a character trait. His creative activity is music production and the trait he is highlighting is that he works well in collaborative, team based projects. Medicine relies a lot on collaboration and teamwork, so this is a great trait to highlight in this answer. Be strategic when you answer these questions. Answer the secondaries to highlight personality traits that admission committees think are important traits physicians should have (i.e. in this case teamwork and collaboration).

Focus on one story and share specific details within the story that will stick with the reader. Admission committees read thousands of these secondaries so make your secondary stand out by adding small details they can remember. In this example, the applicant shared he created hip hop and jazz fusion remixes and got along so well with his classmates that they formed a group called Chord Concepts. These small details are likely to stick with a reader rather than a more generic sentence (i.e. I learned music production which helped me amplify my creativity in such a great way). Adding details helps the reader tie a story to an applicant name. This story is more likely to stick with someone reading your application (vs. generic statements) and this story might help jog their memory when they make their decision about your application. 

UCLA Secondary #3: What has been the one most important volunteer work you have done and why was it meaningful? (800 characters)

Example: Last year I volunteered with my church’s medical missions trip to the Philippines. I  helped refill medications at the pharmacy, take vitals for the triage nurses, and transport patients from the ER to the inpatient service. One day, as I was helping the triage nurse take vitals, and our patient fell to the floor. Within minutes, the doctors, technicians, and other nurses came by to help out. It looked like controlled chaos and everyone was doing their part to care for the patient as quickly and diligently as possible. I was told to hand over the IV supplies and it felt good to be able to contribute to the patient’s care in a small way. This experience showed me that even small contributions to a team can lead to a big difference in care. 

Comments: This essay is 746 characters. This prompt may be difficult for some applicants because they overthink it and feel pressure to write about a complex meaning and lesson behind their volunteer experience. Before you answer this question, break your answer down: describe the volunteer experience in 1 sentence, describe 1 lesson you learned, and describe 1 story that really highlights that lesson. This will act as your core 3 sentences, and all you have to do is add a few more sentences to fill in the gaps to make a cohesive paragraph. 

UCLA Secondary #4: What is the one most important honor you have received? Why do you view this as important? (300 characters)

Example: I received the Best Sister award from my sorority. It was meaningful because it is awarded to the sister who best exemplified our pillars, which are: Advancement of Women through Higher Education, Community Service, Increasing Multicultural Awareness, Sisterhood, and Friendship.

Comments: This is 279 characters. Sometimes it is the essays with less character limits (300 instead of 800) that are the most difficult to write. My advice would be to choose an award or honor that you think highlight your positive attributes and that can translate over to the practice of medicine. For instance, in this example diversity, service, and community are all positive attributes that patients would want to see in their physicians. You may have been awarded and were recognized for a lot of different things throughout college but be smart in choosing what honor you want to highlight for this answer and tie it into something you want admissions committees to know about you. What you choose doesn’t matter, but how you explain it is important. If you want to highlight that you received the fastest runner award in your running club, that is perfectly fine, as long as you can write why it was meaningful (i.e. maybe that award showed that you practiced diligently and trained every day to get that award). 

UCLA Secondary #5: What has been your most scholarly project (thesis, research or field of study in basic or clinical science or in the humanities)? Describe one and give the number of hours, dates and advisor. (300 characters)

Example: Last summer, I was part of the Biostatistics for Minorities Program. The program taught me how to use statistical principles to determine which proteins are the best biomarkers for early detection of arsenic exposure. The program was 4 weeks. The principle investigator in the lab was Dr. Kim Li. 

Comments: This is 284 characters. A scholarly project doesn’t have to be a long-term, complex project. It can be as simple as a project you did as part of your class or a presentation that you did for a summer program. Think about a project that is significant enough that you can talk about it in more detail if it comes up in the interview. 

Key Take-Aways regarding the UCLA Secondary Essays

• Answer the question, and don’t overthink it
• You only have a 300-800 character limit, so make each sentence count 
• Share specific stories and details (vs. vague blanket statements) to make your answers more memorable
• Remember the golden rule of one example, one lesson, one emotion when you are writing your answers and don’t over-complicate it

Go to UCLA SECONDARY ESSAY pt. 2, and Iwill show you some examples of what bad answers look like and comments on why I think these answers are written poorly. I will also comment on why you should avoid writing this way.

Do you want to maximize your chances for an interview invite? Work with our expert medical school admission consultants to put your best foot forward through our secondary application editing services.

More Relating Posts

The acceptmed newsletter.

Sign up to get regular admissions tips, advice, guides, and musings from our admissions experts delivered straight to your inbox. No spam, we promise.

Got a question about us? Send us a quick note

Let us know how we can help you. Fill out the form or drop us an email. [email protected]

Copyright © AcceptMed 2021. All rights reserved. Terms and Conditions   •   Privacy Policy

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Write a Stellar “Why This College?” Essay + Examples

What’s covered:, sample “why this college” prompts, faqs about the “why this college” essay.

• Common Mistakes to Avoid

Good “Why This College?” Essay Examples

• Brainstorming for this Essay
• Outlining Your Essay
• Where to Get Your Essay Edited

One of the most common college essay supplements will ask you to answer the question: “Why This College?” These essays are looking to see whether you’re a good fit for the campus community, and whether the college is a good fit for you and your goals. 

In this post, we’ll show you a couple examples of these prompts, go over good and bad sample responses, and break down how to ensure yours is one of the good ones. 

Let’s start by taking a look at real prompts that fit under the “Why This College?” archetype: 

Tufts: Which aspects of the Tufts undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short, ‘Why Tufts?’ (150 words)

Northwestern: Other parts of your application give us a sense for how you might contribute to Northwestern. But we also want to consider how Northwestern will contribute to your interests and goals. Help us understand what aspects of Northwestern appeal most to you, and how you’ll make use of specific resources and opportunities here. (300 words)

As you can see, these prompts are basically asking why you want to attend the school in question. Northwestern spells it out even further, and specifically asks how you’ll use their resources to achieve your goals.

Both prompts have word counts that are much shorter than that of the Common App, which is typical of supplemental essays. These two word counts are pretty representative, and you can expect the “Why This College?” essay length to be 100-400 words on average. That’s not a lot of space for a pretty important question, so it’s especially vital to use the word count wisely.

What are colleges looking for in the “Why Us” essay?

Colleges want to admit students who will not only enroll (to protect their yield), but also thrive on their campus. They ask this question to see whether you’re truly interested in the school and whether it’s the right place for you. You can write a strong response by citing specific ways the college can support your goals, as well as demonstrating your enthusiasm.

Which colleges have a “Why This College?” essay?

This is one of the most popular supplements among colleges. Here is a selection of top schools that ask this question:

• Northwestern
• Boston University
• University of Michigan

Check out our essay guides for these schools for more in-depth advice on how to write these essays.

What kind of writing style should I use?

This is a straightforward question that generally has a short word count, so you don’t need to use a narrative form at all. You can simply explain what you like about the school and why, but try to use varied sentence structure and organize the essay around your major goals. 

You can start your essay with a story if you want, however. For example, if you visited campus and experienced a really interesting course, or sat in on a meeting of a club you liked, this can make for a strong anecdote to begin your essay. Just make sure that whatever story you tell has some substance, and isn’t just a narration of how nice it was to walk around campus.

Can I copy and paste my essay for other schools?

Absolutely not. If your essay is general enough to apply to other schools, you know you need to rewrite it. The resources you mention should be highly specific to the college you’re writing about.

Common Mistakes When Writing the “Why This College?” Essay

The most common mistake students make is listing generic characteristics that could apply to any school. This negatively impacts your application, since it sends the message that you didn’t do your research, and aren’t truly interested in the school.

Here’s an example of something NOT to list in your “Why this college essay.” We’ll take the example of Tufts since we shared the prompt in the beginning.

What NOT to write: I’m applying to Tufts because of its low student to faculty ratio, the strong math department, and its prime location in Medford, just a hop away from Boston. When I visited campus, the school already felt like home.

This example is bad because many schools have low student to faculty ratios and strong math departments. There are also a ton of schools in or near Boston, many of which have low student to faculty ratios and great math departments too, such as Boston College, Harvard, Northeastern, Boston University, etc. If your statements can apply to other schools, that’s definitely not a good sign (avoid things like location, weather, size, and ranking).

The student also uses an emotional appeal with the line “it felt like home,” which might sound nice, but it has no substance and can be written for any school. You should definitely avoid making any statements like these.

This example shows that the student really hasn’t thought much about their fit with Tufts, and that it probably isn’t their top choice. This will impact your application negatively, especially since Tufts is known for taking applicants’ demonstrated interest more seriously than other schools . So, if you show that you show little interest through your essay, you may end up waitlisted or rejected, even if your stats are excellent.

Another thing that this example gets wrong is that it doesn’t describe the student’s goals or interests at all. It’s important to not only talk about why you picked the school, but also how exactly those aspects will help you grow. Remember, this kind of prompt is two-fold: in addition to explaining why the school is a good fit for you, you want to show why you, out of the many thousands of applicants they get each year, are a good fit for them.

To summarize, the main mistakes to avoid are:

• Citing generic aspects of the school (location, weather, size, and ranking)
• Using empty emotional appeals
• Not describing your goals and interests

Now that we know what a bad example might look like, here’s an example of a rewrite to part of the Tufts essay:

What TO write: As a potential Applied Mathematics major, I hope to gain the tools to model political behavior. I’m especially interested in elections, and am looking forward to taking the course “Mathematics of Social Choice,” as the centerpiece of Social Choice Theory is voting. I would also love to take “Nonlinear Dynamics and Chaos,” because it will teach me to use differential equations to predict chaotic behavior. 

This is a good example, as the courses listed are highly-specific to Tufts, as well as the student’s professional goals. We not only learned something about Tufts, but also the student. Keep in mind that this wouldn’t be a complete essay⁠—it’s just an example of good, specific resources to list, and how to connect them to your own interests. 

If you want an example of a complete essay, here’s this real student response for Boston University’s “Why This College?” prompt.

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what

specifically has led you to apply for admission.

Boston University’s College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) attracts me because of its support of interdisciplinary study among its wide array of majors. In fact, the CAS now offers a course that combines biology, chemistry, and neuroscience. As I hope to conduct medical research into brain disorders, I plan to pursue all three areas of study. These cross-disciplinary connections at BU will prepare me to do so.

CAS’s undergraduate research program would allow me to work with a mentor, such as Dr. Alice Cronin-Golomb or Dr. Robert M.G. Reinhart related to their research on neurological disorders. With them, I can advance the work I have already completed related to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). In a summer class at our local university, my partner and I extracted data from fMRI and PET studies and inputted them into a coding program. We then created an indicator map, which we imported into another software program, AFNI, to display significant activity in the brain regions affected by DID. Seeing the representation of our data thrilled me because I knew it could eventually help people who live with DID. I want to experience that feeling again. Successfully analyzing these fMRI and PET studies and learning to code drives me to pursue more research opportunities, and this desire motivates me to study at a university that offers research opportunities to undergraduates. BU’s interdisciplinary approach to psychology and support for independent undergraduate undergraduate research will optimally prepare me for a career as a neurological researcher.

This student clearly outlines BU-specific resources (the interdisciplinary course and undergrad research program), plus how these resources align with their professional goals (to become a neurological researcher). They do “name-drop” professors, but since their work clearly relates to the student’s interests, it doesn’t look disingenuous, and shows that the student has done research on their fit with BU. The student also provides background on why they want to pursue research, and shows that they already have experience, which makes their interest in the undergrad research program more concrete.

The only thing missing from this essay is the student’s fit with BU in terms of extracurriculars and social life. “Why This College?” essays should also cover extracurriculars, as the residential college experience is about more than just class and homework. Admissions officers are also interested in how you’ll contribute to their broader campus community.

In general, these essays should be academic-leaning (especially if they’re under 250 words), but you should still address some social aspects of the college that appeal to you (we recommend about 70% academics, 30% social, with more or less focus on social aspects depending on the word count). Since the student probably already detailed their previous research in their Common App activities section, they could’ve just summarized their research background in one sentence, and used the space saved to talk about a specific social aspect of BU that interests them.

Here’s another sample essay, but for UPenn. This essay’s word count was much longer, so the student was able to really hone in on several specific aspects of UPenn.

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

This student takes a creative approach to the essay, by using the Five C’s of Caring as a framework. This technique works especially well since these qualities relate to the student’s future career in nursing. In addition to emphasizing the student’s creativity and passion for nursing, having the Five C’s in all caps at the start of each paragraph gives this long essay a clear, easy-to-read format.

What really makes the essay stand out is the depth of the student’s fit with UPenn, and how they’re able to also share more about who they are. The student lists specific courses, research opportunities, technology, and student groups. We also learn that they are a first-generation student, are passionate about increasing access to healthcare (particularly for LGBTQ+ people, minorities, and the elderly), care about health education, and are a feminist who staunchly defends abortion rights (this controversial topic could be risky, but since UPenn is a very liberal school, this should be fine).

Overall, this essay paints a vivid picture of how the student would engage academically at Penn, and we also see clearly how the student would pursue their intellectual passions outside the classroom. Since this essay prompt focused on “intellectual and academic interests,” there was no need to address other aspects of UPenn beyond those supporting their various interests in healthcare.

See more “ Why This College?” essay examples to understand what makes a strong response.

Brainstorming for the “Why This College?” Essay

Now that we’ve gone through a couple examples, you might be wondering how to get started yourself. 

Here are three steps we recommend to get your essay underway:

• Reflect on your academic and career goals
• Research unique opportunities related to your academic and extracurricular interests
• Pick your top academic reasons for applying, and your top extracurricular/social reasons

1. Reflect on your academic and career goals.

The driver behind this essay needs to be you , and not the school itself. Anyone can write nice things about the college, but only you can explain why you would be a good fit for it.

Ask yourself:

• What do you want to major in, if you know? If you’re undecided, what are the subjects you’re interested in?
• Which career do you want to pursue, or what are the potential options?
• What do you want to get out of college? Any particular skills or experiences?

Once you have a clear idea of your college plan, then you can dig into how the college can support your plan.

2. Research unique opportunities related to your academic, career, and extracurricular interests.

You might be wondering where you can find all these specific courses, clubs, and other resources. The school’s website is a good place to start, or if you have a general idea of what you’re looking for, you can even use Google with the school name in your search, such as “Tufts orchestra.” 

Take a look at the website of your department/major and dig into the courses, fellowships, internships, and other resources. For course syllabi, you can visit the website of the professor who’s teaching the course; they’ll often post more detailed information than the online course catalog, including readings and concepts to be covered.

Clubs may have their own websites, but you can also try to find their Facebook groups or Instagram pages, which might be more current and even show events they’re hosting⁠.

If you can, try to speak with a current student. Your school counselor may be able to connect you with one, or you can also reach out to the admissions office to see if they can connect you. If not, speaking with an admissions officer is also great, or you can try to find day-in-the-life videos on YouTube.

3. Pick your top academic reasons for applying, and your top extracurricular/social reasons.

Once you’ve done your research and found specific opportunities to cite in your essay, pick your top 1-3 academic reasons and top 1-3 extracurricular ones, depending on the word count. Going back to the Tufts essay, the good example we gave actually was already 65 words, and it was only able to mention two courses. 

Keep in mind that you not only have to describe resources specific to the school, but also how they’ll contribute to your goals. This personal aspect is just as important as the actual opportunities, so be sure to allot space to describe why exactly these resources make the school a good fit for you.

When it comes to academic reasons, you are free to list anything from special programs to unique majors to specific courses and professors. We want to caution you against “name-dropping” professors, however⁠—unless their work actually fits with your established interests and professional goals. Otherwise, it might seem like you’re being disingenuous.

We also want to reiterate that you should be sure to not only talk about academics in your essay, but also extracurriculars (unless the prompt asks you to focus only on academics, or if the word count is unusually short, i.e. 150 words or fewer). Again, college isn’t just about what you do in the classroom. Admissions committees want to be sure that accepted students will also contribute to the college community. 

Outlining Your “Why This College?” Essay

Once you’ve identified your goals and the resources to support them, it’s time to start writing. An easy format/outline for your essay would be:

• Introduction to your main goals and the why behind them (great spot for an anecdote). 
• Your first goal and how the school can support it.
• Your second goal and how the school can support it.
• Conclusion where you look towards the future and reaffirm how the college can get you there.

You can adjust the length of the essay by adding or subtracting the number of goals you write about. As noted above, r emember to include extracurriculars when sharing how the college can support your goals. You should plan to spend about 70% of your space on academic reasons, and 30% on extracurricular reasons.

Some students choose to use a more unconventional format, like the Five C’s of Caring essay above, and that works too if you want to show off your creative writing skills. Some examples include a letter to the school or a schedule of your day as a student at the college. These unconventional formats can be harder to pull off though, so only go that route if you’re confident in your writing. The letter format can be especially tricky since it’s easy to sound cheesy and overenthusiastic.

Regardless of the format you choose, remember these two things that your essay should do. It should:

• Reveal more about your goals and interests.
• D escribe how the school can help you develop your interests and reach your goals, by naming highly-specific and unique campus resources, both academic and extracurricular.

If your essay checks both of those boxes, you’re well on your way to making your candidacy more compelling to admissions officers!

Where to Get Your “Why This College?” Essay Edited

Do you want feedback on your “Why This College?” essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write the UCLA Waitlist Essay + Successful Example

Note: the deadline to submit the UCLA waitlist essay Option Form is April 15th.

Additionally, here are a few key takeaways from UCLA on the waitlist. This info was taken from their official website.

• Consideration for admission occurs if space becomes available after May 15th.
• The waitlist is by invitation only.
• Applicants must opt-in by April 15 th  through the  My Application Status  site.
• To be fair to all applicants, additional materials (including letters of recommendation) cannot be accepted and will not be reviewed if sent.
• However, there is space provided in the Waitlist Option form to provide updates and additional information .
• Students on the waitlist are not ranked, and we do not know how many students will accept our waitlist offer.
• We notify students as early as possible after May 15th, and we will update students throughout the summer.  
• Applicants can be on the waitlist for more than one UC campus if offered the option. It is advisable to accept another college’s offer before their deadline, as being on the waitlist does not guarantee admission.
• Changes to the Waitlist Option form can be made until April 15th, after which no further changes will be accepted.
• Additional information for waitlisted applicants, including FAQs, can be found through the  My Application Status  site. 

Table of Contents

How Important is the UCLA Waitlist Essay / Option Form?

Ucla waitlist essay prompt / option form.

• Keep it Classy.

New and Compelling Information.

What topics do i talk about in my ucla waitlist essay, it’s about you…well, sorta…, attitude: it’s more important than you think., show you’re different., example ucla waitlist essay / option form, final thoughts.

Want to know something weird?

UCLA’s waitlist acceptance rate is unusually… good! We’ve pasted this excerpt from our sister article on surviving the UC waitlist process below.

“Believe it or not, UCLA’s 2023-24 waitlist admissions cycle was actually quite positive considering it’s daunting regular acceptance rate. In fact, out of 11,725 students who opted into the waiting list, 1,404 were accepted.  That makes UCLA’s 2023-24 waitlist acceptance rate 11.97%. That’s actually slightly higher than their regular 9% acceptance rate! Funny how the world works!” How to Survive the University of California (UC) Waitlist 2024-25 –PenningPapers

Below is a visualized version. As you can see, UCLA’s waitlist acceptance rate is drastically volatile. Some years suffer from single digit acceptance rates.

Even in the “good years” the acceptance rate is less than 20%

Thus, it’s absolutely crucial that your UCLA waitlist essay is written well. You can’t afford to skimp out. With a volatile acceptance rate prone to change every year, there’s no telling whether a solid waitlist letter will even save you.

Nonetheless, all you can do during the waitlist process is cross your fingers and write a solid waitlist essay. And, chances are, you’ve already done the first part.

But, here’s a little secret.

Most of the UCLA waitlist essays we’ve seen were not that good. In fact, most students actually don’t fill out the UCLA waitlist option form properly. They include information that doesn’t actually help them get accepted. Thus, writing a solid waitlist essay can actually help you cut through most of the competition. (perhaps giving you a more competitive edge than you expected.)

That brings us to our next point: how do you write a solid waitlist essay?

UCLA’s waitlist essay prompt (option form) asks you to write an optional 7,000 character submission once you’ve accepted your spot on the waiting list.

Hint: if you want to be competitive, you’ll want to write a submission. So, the waitlist essay isn’t really optional.

Now, should you use up all 7,000 characters?

That depends. Some extenuating circumstances, convoluted updates, and new information warrant it. These topics often reshape how admissions officers see the original application.

Here’s an example. A recent ADHD diagnosis implies all student achievements required more grit and determination to achieve. Topics like these muddy the waters with multiple implications. Thus, they may demand more characters to “do the topic justice.”

Meanwhile, students with simple answers like increases in academic performance may require fewer characters.

Thus, as a general rule, you should only use however many characters is required to accurately explain your situation. Do not inflate or deflate character count just for the sake of it. Use however many characters you need and deem necessary for full range of articulation.

Hint: most students don’t expand enough on the “boring stuff.” They quickly glance over it in their UCLA waitlist essays without explaining why it makes them a solid candidate. Chances are, you’re missing a few positive inferences you could explain about your “boring updates!”

Remember: length is not what matters here. It’s about the quality of your writing and the value you bring through new and compelling information. Don’t copy and paste old what you already put in your previous application just to fill up space.

How to Write the UCLA Waitlist Essay / Option Form

Keep it Classy

Start by thanking the admissions office for their time. End by thanking the admissions office for their time once again. It’s the polite thing to do! After all, they’re going out of their way to give your application a second look!

Now, this may seem like basic advice that doesn’t need to be stated. But, here’s the thing. Professionalism and presentation go a long way in writing a solid UCLA waitlist essay. For, presentation can leave a good or bad taste in one’s mouth. And, while it’s great to leave a good taste in one’s mouth, it’s certainly bad to leave a terrible taste in one’s mouth. The worst thing you can do is give admissions officers the “ick” during the waitlist process.

First and last impressions matter.

So, act like it by thanking them for their time and being civil. No resentment. And, especially no saltiness in your writing. Be civil. Keep it classy.

Oh, one more thing: don’t be afraid to be unconventional in your sentence structure and grammar. That doesn’t mean break grammatical rules or anything. Rather, don’t be afraid to write in a sophisticated manner beyond the 2nd grade level. Your UCLA waitlist letter is partly a persuasive letter, after all. So, don’t be afraid to deploy em dashes and semicolons; don’t be afraid of varying your sentence length. You don’t need to write like a Victorian poet or anything. But, you can have a more sophisticated writing style than just “subject + predicate + period.” Again, keep it classy!

The UCLA waitlist essay should include new and compelling information. This includes anything not originally stated in the previous application.

Here’s what people get wrong, however.

Your new information can still be in the same topical vein as your original application’s content. You can’t talk about the EXACT SAME thing in your original application. But, you CAN QUALIFY existing content in it.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say your GPA went from 3.85 to 3.75 from Sophomore year to Junior year; and, you addressed this as being due to Clinical Depression in the additional comments section . However, you failed to mention that your low performance was also due to growing familial problems arising from financial issues. You won’t be able to talk about Clinical Depression in the UCLA waitlist essay, as that’s not new information. But, you can talk about the financial issues since it wasn’t included.

Here’s another one.

Let’s say you recently earned an award in Speech and Debate. You’ve been a member since your Sophomore year; and, this is the first time you won an award. You placed first in a competition for speech. While you can’t talk about being in Speech and Debate and the leadership positions you held because it’s already been stated in the ECs list, you can talk about the competition.

Remember: your perspectives should highlight WHY your new information is worthy of reconsideration. Make the connection for admissions officers. Why does your new information provided warrant admissions officers to accept you from the rest?

Maybe the increase in academic performance shows you’re willing to work hard even after the admissions process has concluded. Or, your new leadership skills demonstrate a level of passion and love for your craft that exceeds banal reputation-seeking.

Be specific when making these connections! After all, it’s what your acceptance hinges on!

• Share your Fall and Winter grades if they’ve improved or are already very high. Additionally, share the courses you plan to take in the Spring if they’re rigorous. Admissions officers love to see that your academic performance trends upwards. Additionally, they love to see students pushing themselves even past admissions season.
• These include things outside the classroom but inside the school. Don’t just repeat what you’ve said in your previous application. Instead, qualify it with new information like updates or new positions you’ve earned. (Example: earned title of club president for FBLA)
• These include things you’ve worked on outside the classroom and school. So, YouTube channels, fiction writing, small businesses, and designing 3D models are all fair game. Any projects you conduct outside the influence of school is more profound than you may expect. For, it shows a level of grit, motivation, and drive to pursue interests outside of external institutions. It also shows a level of self-starter personality, which may work well in impressing admissions officers.
• Most high school students are not conducting research. Period. But, if you have had research that you worked on since the application, then certainly include it! Don’t forget to include what you’ve worked on and especially what you’ve learned during the experience.
• The same rule applies to research. Make sure to connect why your experience makes you a solid candidate. And, show what you’ve learned on the job or internship. Chances are, you learned a lot more than you expected.
• This is one of the best topics. No shame if you don’t have any. But, if you do, congrats!
• Connect why certain clubs, courses, environment / culture, or professors would suit your needs nicely. Remember: you’re not just attending college to get into a great career that provides a hefty paycheck. You’re also going for a great college experience. You’ll make amazing friends. There’s a lot to attending UCLA; so, specify what your needs are in a college and how UCLA fits those!

Sure. The admissions office wants to know about you.

However, it’s also about them.

UCLA wants to know what you can provide for them. How much value can you provide to the school considering they already have most of the students they want? Is there something unique about YOU that would greatly benefit THEM in the future?

This is where you need to get creative.

Imagine yourself in the university’s shoes. What would they want to see in a student? Or, better yet, what kinds of “assets” are they thinking of accepting into their campus? When you imagine yourself as a valuable asset who provides quality to the school both in and out of the classroom, you’ll write your letter more empathically. In fact, your letter should be focus on both you and what you can provide to the school.

So, while you may hear people say “The UCLA waitlist letter is about you!” that’s technically true. You shouldn’t focus on irrelevant content. But, it’s also about what you can provide to the school. UCLA scrapes through the waitlist pool to see who would be worth including into their incoming class —especially in terms of “what their incoming class is missing.” So, put “giving value to the school” as your top priority.

This is a subtle point; but, it’s an important one. UCLA —and realistically any college for that matter— can infer a lot from your waitlist letter’s attitude.

Admissions officers can read between the lines better than you think. Even if they glance through your waitlist letter, they can make inferences about your character that are quite accurate.

For instance, they can feel resentment and envy written in your words even when you try to contain it. They can tell when you’re trying to grasp at straws to say anything —anything at all— to get them to accept you. In other words, they can sense your desperation and all other negative emotions.

Don’t let these emotions bleed through your UCLA waitlist essay. The attitude you demonstrate during the waitlist process is almost as important as the waitlist essay content itself. If you show resentment, frustration, or desperation whilst filling out the option form, it’s a bad look for admissions officers. And, no one wants to accept someone who holds their school to the highest regard, even more so than being civil and professional.

The UCLA waitlist essay should demonstrate gratitude, humility, and excitement for the possibility to get accepted. Having this mature and positive mindset will give admissions officers more reason to accept you.

Of course, don’t try to force this. You want your writing to appear organic and natural. So, if you’re still writing the UCLA waitlist essay with clenched fists and tears rolling down your face, take a breather. Relax, and go for a walk. Don’t write until you’re ready to tackle the waitlist essay without being emotional! Trust us, emotionally resentful writing happens more than you think —especially with UCLA being so many people’s dream school!

Let’s be frank.

Most students on UCLA’s waitlist are smart enough to not get outright rejected. And, with such slim acceptance rates, it’s fair to assume students will fight tooth and nail to get their foot in the door.

It’s therefore your job to think of ways your new information can stand out from the rest of the competition.

You’re competing for a spot alongside many students whose grades improved, just like yours may have. And, you’ll be competing against other students with newly earned awards, leadership positions, research, etc. Think about what’s special about you use that to your advantage.

Now, what do you do if your new and compelling information isn’t unique? Well, it’s time to look at it from a different perspective!

Let’s take the grades example again.

What’s so special about grades improving from Junior to Senior year? Well, probably not a lot on the surface. But, there are implications that many people haven’t thought of.

Think about the ways you increased your grades. While you may say grit and determination got you there, that’s what everyone else would say. Chances are, you’ve had to have a clear and calm mind to get those grades. Patience and self-forgiveness are often highly overlooked as topics. Video games and sunlight exposure fall in that category too. Think of the things other students are NOT talking about, and consider writing about those!

The same rule applies to reasons why you’re a solid candidate. Think of ways you may be a great addition to the UCLA community that other people haven’t considered. Maybe there are weaknesses in UCLA’s club communities that your new experiences can compensate for. Or, the new study methods you used to increase your grades can be used to explore your field in an interdisciplinary manner —granting you lateral learning that others may not have. The more niche, the better! After all, this is about making yourself stand out!

Note: this UCLA example waitlist essay worked only FOR THE STUDENT. In other words, what may work for them “might” not work for you. Just because they talk about improvements in their academic performance and extracurricular updates does NOT mean that you MUST talk about these either. This is just an example of a successful waitlist letter.

So, do not copy and paste this.

“Dear University of California, Los Angeles Office of Admissions, Thank you for taking the time read through my waitlist letter. UCLA remains my first choice institution; and —should I be accepted— I am certain beyond a doubt I will attend. With that in mind, I would like to provide additional information since submitting my application: my academic performance, leadership updates with DECA, and personally-conducted Psych project. I believe these updates will provide a clearer picture of my application, and hopefully provide a more in-depth perspective of both my candidacy and character as a hopeful UCLA applicant. To start, my academic performance since my application have increased from a 3.7 to a 3.85. While I admit I’m still allergic to Mathematics, I discovered my aversion to numbers would not fare well as a future practicing therapist. For, grounding my work in statistical knowledge would be crucial to helping patients. Thus, I’ve taken the time to adopt a more quantitative and computational mind in my Mathematics classes. This newfound mindset has shaped my relationship with numbers, and inexorably increased my GPA where my “blemishes” were most prevalent. Additionally, I was recently elected as our school DECA club’s president. Our organization was mostly focused on getting students into the world of Speech and Debate; however, my experience most recently required collaboration with my fellow marketing and outreach officer. We both experimented in multiple marketing methods to help increase DECA’s club membership, some of which involved social media outreach, school newspaper copywriting, and website blogging. Interestingly, experimenting with ads through A/B testing revealed to both my cabinet members and I many new business and marketing methodologies that we’re hopeful will translate into our higher education projects. I’m especially excited to collaborate with UCLA’s diverse community and share some of the outreach skills with some of the clubs I plan to join here such as Debate Union and Active Minds. If possible, I’d love to experiment with some new copywriting and SEO blogging strategies I’ve implemented in DECA with Active Minds’ blog —especially in interlinking social media platforms to increase authority and visibility. Also, I’m very excited to discuss the recent Psychology project I’ve conducted on my own time. I run the [REDACTED] YouTube channel, where I conduct interviews with students and discuss their personal grievances. While the channel does not serve as therapy, it serves as both an educational source for viewers as well as a podcast-format sharing important ways externalities like Capitalism, gender, and politics impact mental health and wellbeing. Admittedly, this has been a very difficult and convoluted project. For, it required I learn videography, lighting, quick editing, and content creation very quickly. In addition, I learned much more about the interdisciplinary relationship psychology has with other fields like Economics, International Relations, and Sociology. So, it’s both increased my confidence in my field whilst humbling me to just how much I’ve still yet to learn. Nonetheless, these experiences have revealed to me that my learning journey is just beginning. My academic experience since my submission has evolved in just over a few months. And, I’m excited to see where this goes at UCLA. I can’t wait to see how a quantitative slant to psychology would qualify my experience studying at UCLA. Translating what I’ve learned as the president of my DECA club also makes me excited to see what other clubs at UCLA have in store for me. And, my recent YouTube project in Psychology is something I hope to carry over to UCLA; for, I’m curious about interviewing fellow students in the LA region and cross examining their responses with those of students in other campuses for my upcoming series. Ultimately, I can’t wait to see how the coming years at UCLA will fare. Should I be accepted, I am certain to expand my personal projects to include the UCLA community; and, I’m hopeful for what the future holds. Thank you once again for taking the time to consider my application. Best, [REDACTED]” Example UCLA Waitlist Letter –PenningPapers

Remember: you DO NOT need to send any official school transcripts. And, you don’t need to send any other additional documents, pdfs, LOCIs, etc. If the admissions office isn’t asking for it, they don’t want it. Cut and dry. Easy.

Additionally, remember to breathe. This process is brutal and can be difficult emotionally. Don’t forget to take a break and relax during this time.

After all, UCLA typically provides waitlist decisions after May 15 and proceeds to provide waitlist decisions throughout the summer . So, it’s a long time before you’ll get any closure!

There’s no point in pestering them while they’re making a decision, though. So, don’t call or email them incessantly. A few calls or emails with genuine questions is fine. But, don’t bother them any more than is absolutely necessary. The last thing you need is a bad taste in their mouth.

Oh, and speaking of bad tastes, you don’t want your UCLA waitlist essay to give a bad impression. As we said, impressions can make or break your waitlist chances. So, don’t take the risk of writing a poor UCLA waitlist essay. Consider speaking with a professional college admissions consultant and essay editor here at PenningPapers. Schedule a free consultation with us, and we’ll get back to you within 24 hours. We can help you from beginning till end write a solid waitlist essay that gets your foot through UCLA’s doors, as we have with many other students!

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

College Essay Editing Services From Professionals

Sign up for a free 30-minute phone consultation. we'll get back to you within 24 hours.

20 Successful College Essay Examples + Why They Worked (2024)

Today I'm going to show you 20 essays that worked that will help inspire you and start you on your way to writing your own successful essays.

In this post, I've included:

• Personal Statement examples
• Supplemental essay examples
• University of California essays
• Links to hundreds more essay examples

If you're looking for college essay examples, you've found the right place.

Let's get started.

Writing your college essays can be challenging.

And in 2024, with many schools dropping test scores from their application, your college essays are one of the most important parts of your application if you want to get accepted.

That means there's a whole lot more opportunity for students without the best SAT or ACT scores to boost their chances of admission by writing outstanding essays.

20 of My Favorite EssaysThatWorked

One of the best ways to write your own successful essays is to read and learn from past essays that worked.

Here's 20 of our favorite college essays examples. From Personal Statement examples to "Why this college?" supplements, find any type of essay you're looking for.

I've chosen these examples because they represent almost every type of essay you'll need to write.

Plus, they are all high-quality examples that have an authentic voice , one of the most important parts of a great essay.

Table of Contents

Personal statement essay examples.

• 1. The Itch
• 2. Paint Dance
• 3. Football Manager
• 4. Restaurant Job

Additional Personal Statement Examples

Additional Common App Essay Examples

University of California Essay Examples

• 5. Summer Counselor
• 6. Teaching Talent
• 7. Linguistics
• 8. Linguistics Society
• 9. New Perspectives

Supplemental Essay Examples

• 10. Fermat's Last Theorem
• 11. Bug Fixing
• 12. Why UPenn?
• 13. Story of My Name
• 14. Ideal College Community
• 15. Why Computer Science
• 16. Volunteering at Hospital
• 17. Why Carnegie Mellon
• 18. Why NYU?
• 19. Moving Places
• 20. Double Major

Ready to get inspired to write the next great admissions essays?

Let's jump right in.

Part 1: Personal Statements That Stand Out

Your Personal Statement essay is arguably the most important essay you'll write.

Since it's sent to every college you apply to, you need to carefully choose how you use your 650 words.

In this section, I'll show you several examples of successful Common App essays accepted into the most selective colleges.

Let’s dive right in.

Most students write their personal statement essay on their Common Application.

That's why it's called your Common App essay .

If you're having trouble starting your essay, be sure to check out some Common App inspiration .

Here are some of the best Common App essay examples that have gotten students into top colleges.

Below are some of our favorite personal statement essay examples from the Ivy League and other top-20 colleges.

College Essay Example #1: The Itch

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Stanford University .

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

Slowly, my passion emerged from pretense and envy into reality.

Why This Essay Works:

This essay is all based upon the metaphor of "the itch" representing a desire to understand the world. By using a central theme, such as a metaphor, you can create a thread of ideas that run throughout your essay. If you want to use a metaphor, make sure it clearly relates to the idea you're trying to express, rather than choosing one just because it is a creative or unique approach. In this case, there is perhaps no better metaphor than "the itch" which would capture their main idea, so it works well.

Instead of "telling" their ideas, this essay does a lot of fantastic "showing" through specific anecdotes. Sentences like "I learned to sing the blues before I knew the words..." capture a lot about the author's character and background without having to say it outright. By showing the reader, you allow them to draw their own conclusions rather than just having to accept what you're telling them. Using specific language also creates a more vibrant and interesting essay. Rather than saying "I loved learning as a kid," this student shows it using a concrete example: "my favorite book was an introduction to fulcrums".

Writing about other people in your essay can be a great way to tell things about yourself. Known as a literary "foil," by describing other people you can show your own values without stating them plainly. In this essay, the author shows their value (of being passionate about learning) by first recognizing that value in somebody else, "Kikki" in this case. By writing about people in your life, you can also create a sense of humility and humanity. Nobody is an "island," meaning that everyone is influenced by those around us. Showing how you draw inspiration, values, or lessons from others will show more about your character than simply telling admissions would.

In general, listing activities in your essay is a bad strategy, because it is repetitive of your activities list and comes across boring. However, this essay manages to list their activities in the 3rd-to-last paragraph by connecting them to a central idea: how their newfound passion for learning sparked all these new engagements. Listing activities can be okay, but only if they have a clear purpose in doing so. In this case, the purpose is to show how these activities are representative of their new passion for learning. But the purpose for listing activities could also be to show a specific value, provide examples for your idea, demonstrate your new perspective, etc.

College Essay Example #2: Paint Dance

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Williams College .

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

This student uses figurative language, particularly personification, which makes their writing more engaging. Rather simply telling a story plainly, implementing aspects of creative writing such as metaphors, personification, and symbolism, can engage the reader in your story.

This essay deals with their struggles—particularly in overcoming fear of failure while painting. By showcasing your challenges, you not only create a more relatable persona, but it makes your successes far more impactful. Everyone has struggles, and reflecting upon those challenges is what will help you convey self-growth.

What They Might Improve:

Although this student reflects on the concept of fear, they don't go much deeper than surface-level reflections. This essay does pose some interesting questions, like "Why was I afraid of something I had not yet encountered?" but these questions are cut short and not satisfyingly explored. Admissions officers are impressed with genuine, deep reflection. To get there, you need to push past surface-level takeaways and try taking your ideas always one step further.

"Fear" is a central theme of this essay, but the main idea of overcoming fear is repeated excessively, without adding new ideas. It is important that your essay "goes somewhere" and doesn't stay stuck at the surface of your ideas. You want to go deep into your ideas, which means avoiding repetition at all costs, and only referencing a previous idea if you're adding something new: a new perspective, context, nuance, broader application, etc.

College Essay Example #3: Football Manager

This Common App personal statement was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.

The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.

Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.

More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.

In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

Learn the Secrets of Successful Top-20 Applications

Join 4,000+ students and parents that already receive our 5-minute free newsletter , packed with T-20 essay examples, writing tips & tricks, and step-by-step guides.

College Essay Example #4: Restaurant Job

This Common App personal statement is an accepted Tulane essay .

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

Piano Man plays on repeat in Used To Be’s Island Eatery, a high-volume bar and restaurant in the town of [Location] on the Jersey shore. Balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools, chatting and laughing about their lives.

Rather than "telling," it's important to always back up your points by "showing." This means using anecdotes, examples, and specific references to help the reader come to the same conclusion as you. Anybody can "tell" things, but by showing them you are giving proof, which makes your points more convincing and compelling.

An effective strategy for having interesting ideas is to reflect upon what you've learned as the result of an activity or experience. Lessons are important because they show self-growth, which admissions officers are looking for. It can also be a good idea to compare and contrast your lessons with other areas of your life. For example, how do your lessons from an extracurricular activity differ or translate over to your academics? Or vice versa?

One of the most common "mistakes" in essays is to not go deeper into your ideas. Most students gravitate towards surface-level ideas, which can be a good starting point, but should ideally be taken further. Admissions officers have read thousands of essays, so it's important that your ideas are unique, specific to you, and interesting. To get to those "deeper" ideas, keep asking yourself questions. For example, if you start with the idea of "positivity is key for this job," then keep asking yourself "Why?" Repeat that process many times and think critically, and eventually you'll come to more interesting and compelling ideas.

Avoid writing like fiction books, which have lots of descriptions that build a world or environment. Instead, only describe the things that matter to your main point. Since you have a limited number of words to use, it is vital that each sentence has a clear purpose. In this essay, many descriptions are ultimately unnecessary to their main point. Does it matter that "balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools"? No, and this only distracts from what is ultimately more valuable: your ideas and reflections.

Want to read more Common App essay examples?

If you're looking for more outstanding Common App essays, check out our Common App guide with examples.

For more, check out our list of top personal statement examples .

Part 2: UC Personal Insight Questions

Your UC essays are more important in 2022, now that UC's have dropped SAT and ACT scores from your application.

And if you're looking to write great UC essays, the best place to start is by learning from essays that worked in the past.

If you're looking for tons of UC essay examples, you're in the right place.

Every student applying to University of California must write four Personal Insight Questions. Each short essay must be fewer than 350 words each.

Check out our guides and examples for UCLA essays and UC Berkeley essays .

Within those posts, you'll be able to read dozens of the best UC Personal Insight Questions.

College Essay Example #5: Summer Counselor

This essay was accepted into UCLA .

UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

Each summer for the last eight years, I have attended a four-week residential summer camp on Orcas Island, first as a camper and more recently as a staff member. As a counselor-in- training last summer, my role shifted from one centred around my own enjoyment to one catering to the fulfilment of others. I welcomed this change of pace gladly, as the ability to positively impact the next generation of campers in a similar way to how my own counselors impacted mine thrilled me.

At first, I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself, as I was daunted by my new responsibility as staff. However, my uncertainty dissipated when one of the campers I had worked closely with in the sailing classes I taught wrote me a heartfelt letter towards the end of the session claiming that spending time with me had been one of the highlights of his summer. This small affirmation struck me deeply, and I was incentivised to continue putting all my energy into hopefully similarly affecting as many others as I could.

One of the most challenging parts of the summer was when I acted as an assistant counselor to a group of six 2nd-grade boys for a week, living with and supervising them for the whole time. I recall one particular moment when all six started yelling over the minor grievance of whose turn it was to take the dirty dishes back to the kitchen that meal. I tried diffusing the situation peacefully but, in the end, it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down. It was tough for me to take a harder line with them, but it was a valuable lesson that being assertive, yet still kind, is an effective method for future situations.

I cannot wait to apply for a full counselor position next summer, as each year I learn more from camp about what it is to be a compassionate leader, a convincing role model, and a team player.

• Specific Example : For UC essays, it's important to directly and clearly answer the prompt. This student does a good job of using a specific moment that clearly answers the prompt.
• Honest About Challenges : You don't have to present yourself as a perfect human being. Instead, by showing your flaws and challenges, it makes you more relatable. This student does that well by admitting: "I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself."

What They Might Change:

• Give More Details : In addition to stating "...it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down," it's better to show this. How did you act in that moment? How can you illustrate that assertiveness, without just stating it?

College Essay Example #6: Teaching Talent

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

My greatest talent is teaching. I love the opportunity to help others and seeing them develop and improve as a result of my input is always so rewarding.

My principle teaching outlet is as a diving coach. My favourite part about this job is that it is so dynamic, and each session is different. Some days the divers are in a great mood, dive impressively, and will jest with you nonstop which, being extroverted, fills me with energy and is a genuinely enjoyable evening. These sessions are so easy to coach as you can present yourself as a friend to the divers and deepen the trust that exists between you. However, other nights the kids are tired and unenthusiastic and coaching becomes far more challenging. I have to be stricter with them while simultaneously finding ways to motivate them, such as introducing little competitions or rewards for training hard. Over time, I have gotten much more confident at adjusting my coaching attitude towards the signals I pick up from the divers and it has made my job significantly easier.

This year, I have taken on the additional responsibility of leading the Learn to Dive squad, the largest group of divers at my club. At first, it was tough for me to adjust to my new role as it entailed more work with other coaches, helping them to develop their own coaching ability and monitoring the progression of their divers, as well as with kids of my own. However, I have grown to love this new element of my job, despite the challenge of instructing coaches older than myself, as it has forced me to develop my teaching ability in new ways. I have had to analyse my own teaching methods in order to explain them to other coaches and this both helped them to understand how to improve, but also allowed me to refine and develop how I coach my own divers.

Teaching is such an important part of my life because it allows me to learn and increase my own knowledge while making a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #7: Linguistics

This Personal Insight Question essay was accepted into UCLA among others.

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

While reading Tolkien's The Silmarillion , I was struck by the elegance of the Elvish script he included. Upon further research, I discovered that he had created an entire language – Quenya – to accompany the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The idea that a language could be crafted and cultivated like a piece of art was both illuminating and inspiring to me. I had heard of Esperanto previously, but I believe Tolkien wasn’t trying to change the world with his creation. His goal was simply to create a language for the pleasure of it, and to enrich his storytelling and worldbuilding.

The revelation that language could be more than just a tool for communication triggered a love for linguistics that persists to this day. I voraciously tore through reference grammars and college textbooks alike, including An Introduction to Historical Linguistics by Lyle Campbell.

I even tried to emulate Tolkien and create a language of my own. Whether at school taking classes in Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, and Ancient Greek, or at home studying the phonology of Brazilian Portuguese on my own, languages excited and motivated me to learn more. I was awarded the Arthur Beatty award for outstanding linguist in the year as a result of my dedication to the language program at school.

Watching Game of Thrones reintroduced me to conlanging in the form of Dothraki and rekindled my interest, prompting me to write my IB extended essay on the historical etymology of Spanish. It was a challenging project, but I loved every minute of my research. While my friends were lamenting their boredom at poring over endless journals on topics they didn’t enjoy, I was studying a subject for which I am truly passionate. I hope to continue my study of language in university, and one of my goals in life is to be trilingual. I have no doubt that languages will continue to inspire me throughout life, and I hope to be able to share some of this passion with others along the way.

College Essay Example #8: Linguistics Society

Here's another UCLA essay that worked.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

Throughout my time at school, I have tried to share my passions and interests with others in various ways.

With the help of a friend, I reinvigorated and reinvented the school linguistics society, transforming it from a dull discussion of past exam questions to a seminar-style session where I have presented and analysed various interesting aspects of language. We have covered topics ranging from phonetics to historical sound change, and it has attracted a loyal troop of linguists who relish the weekly meetings almost as much as I do.

I have also channelled my passion for teaching into volunteering as a Spanish teacher at another local elementary school. Leading a class of thirty students can be a challenge, mainly as that many students are often hard to control. Nevertheless, I have planned and carried out lessons there each week for the last three years and have learnt a lot from it. I have found that as my confidence has grown, so the students have started to listen to and respect me more. They gain more from the lessons, as is evident from their progress at the end of each semester, and my enjoyment and fulfilment has risen. I am glad to have had a positive impact on their learning, and that I have been able to teach a subject that genuinely interests me.

Finally, I was appointed as a school prefect for senior year. In this role, I have been involved with a number of charity initiatives, such as organising bake sales and sponsored sporting events to raise money for the Make a Wish foundation, as well as various pastoral activities such as mentoring incoming freshman and guiding prospective parents around the campus. I love being a prefect as it allows me to give something back to the school that has been a huge part of my life for the last several years. I hope my legacy is that students feel more comfortable and confident in the school environment, and that they are inspired to become leaders as I have been to give back to the community in turn.

College Essay Example #9: New Perspectives

This essay was accepted into UC Berkeley .

Seconds after our teacher announced our project groups ​I heard the familiar, pitchy voice of the most irritating person in the class yell my name. Just like my worst nightmare, I had been put in a group to work with Eva; the annoying girl who had a weird obsession with horses. At that moment, I knew that it was going to be the longest project of my life.

Eva was extremely difficult to work with; she would always interrupt me, stubbornly stuck to what she wanted, and did not listen to a thing I said. Two weeks of tension and no progress flew by until one day during class, Eva went on another ramble about her horses.

Although I wasn't ready to hear her talk about horses again, I let her continue. What was another rant about horses turned into a conversation about the mental disorders Eva faced and how she relied on horse riding as therapy. After that conversation, our progress took a complete 180. I was eager to learn more, and we finished the project with more purpose and meaning. My perspective changed entirely.

I was moved by Eva’s passion for horse riding and encouraged her to start a club on campus where she could share her passion with others. Beyond this project, I helped Eva defend her riding center during city council meetings because it was on the verge of being shut down. In exchange, working with Eva taught me how to be more open-minded, more patient, more understanding; values of which I personally lacked my entire life. ​I began to cooperate with people with a more accepting and considerate mentality, understanding that people work in different ways.

I’m glad I chose to work through the project with Eva because I grew as a leader in a way that I would have never expected. I know I could have easily done the project by myself, but instead, I worked through our disagreements and bickering. S​haring this experience with Eva unearthed my ability to lead using patience and understanding, which are now essential assets to my leadership capabilities.

Part 3: Supplemental Essay Examples

Many top colleges require students to supplemental essays.

Each school may ask different prompts or none at all. And often your answers will be more specific and directly about the school.

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts, from "Why this college?" to major and area of study questions

Let's jump into the essays.

In addition to the your personal statement or statement of purpose (SOP), many colleges also require supplements.

These supplemental essays are often specific to the school and ask you to answer a specific question, such as "Why this college?" or "Why this major?"

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts that you may encounter.

College Essay Example #10: Fermat's Last Theorem

This supplemental essay was accepted into Cornell University .

Prompt: Cornell Engineering celebrates innovative problem solving that helps people, communities…the world. Consider your ideas and aspirations and describe how a Cornell Engineering education would allow you to leverage technological problem-solving to improve the world we live in. (250-650 words)

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to show ways you imagine being involved on campus. This student does a great job of showing that they've done their research about Cornell, by connecting their passion for studying heart disease to specific initiatives already taking place on campus. Try researching what events, research, or programs are being conducted. By referencing those specifics, you can create convincing reasons of why this school is fit for you.

When discussing your intended area of study, one effective strategy is to identify a problem that you see. This problem can be in the field itself, your community, or the world. Then, you can connect this problem to yourself by showing how you'd want to help solve it. Don't try to tackle it entirely yourself, but show how you'd "take bites" out of this larger problem. It is also important that you identify potential solutions to the problem. You definitely don't (and shouldn't) have all the answers, but what do you see as potential steps for combatting the issue?

Using technical language, such as referencing "semi-elliptical curves" and "modular form" in this essay, will help show your in-depth knowledge and passion. Don't be afraid to use technical jargon like this, and don't worry if admissions officers may not know all the terms. As long as they have context and knowing the terminology isn't critical to understanding your point, including "nerdy" language will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your intelligence.

If you have personal connections to the school you're applying to (such as legacy, family members who work there, students or faculty you're close with), it can be a good idea to reference those connections. Showing personal connections to the school makes admissions think, "They're already practically one of us!" Just make sure that these connections aren't contrived: only write about them if you have a clear purpose within your essay for introducing them. In this essay, the student references their brother who attended Cornell, but does so in a way that naturally ties into the rest of their reasons for "why Cornell."

College Essay Example #11: Bug Fixing

Here's another Cornell essay that worked .

Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (650 words max)

College Essay Example #12: Why UPenn

If you enjoyed the UPenn Common App essay , here's a supplement that was also accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (650 words max)

This essay does a great job of conveying a thoughtful and candid applicant. Their phrasing, although verbose in some places, comes across genuine because the author walks you through how they learned about the school, what they're looking for in a school, and why the school would offer those specific things. Phrases like "I didn't know if I could honestly see myself studying that" are conversational and natural-sounding, which help create a sincere tone.

By referencing specific programs, like "Penn in Washington" as well as various minors and concentrations, it is clear this student has done their research about the school. One of the most important aspects for a "Why Us" essay is to find specific and unique opportunities and name them in your essay. These could be things like specific professors and their work, campus and its location, interesting classes, unique internship/study-abroad/job programs, special events, and many more. The key is referencing things that are entirely unique to the school and not many other schools too. Avoid broad terms like "renowned faculty" or "interdisciplinary studies" because virtually all colleges offer things like this, and these are some of the most over-used and artificial reasons used in "Why Us" essays.

This essay has many moments of repetition that are unnecessary. In general, avoid repeating your ideas and when editing, ask yourself of each sentence: does this add something distinctly new and important to my essay? There are two common mistakes that often create repetition: prefacing your ideas and summarizing your ideas. Unlike academic writing, you don't need to "prepare" the reader for what you're going to say, and you don't need to conclude it with a summary. By doing so, you only create unnecessary repetition and take up words which could otherwise be used to include new specific details or ideas.

This essay spends nearly half of its words explaining the "interdisciplinary" opportunities at UPenn. However, this reason is quite superficial and not at all unique to Penn, as almost all colleges offer some sort of interdisciplinary study (i.e. combining your interests or studying multiple fields). Talking about "interdisciplinary study" is one of the most common reasons students use in their "Why Us" essay, and it often comes across as generic and unoriginal. Instead, look for offerings that no other (or very few other) schools provide. Narrow down your reasons "why" to make them more specific to the school, even if they are smaller scale. You can mention things like "interdisciplinary studies" or "diverse student body" briefly as a reason why, but don't make them one of your primary reasons why, unless you have something particularly unique about it.

College Essay Example #13: Story of My Name

This interesting essay is a Dartmouth essay that was admitted. Enjoy!

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

My name is Eoin Hourihane and my entire life, no one has ever pronounced my name correctly. My genealogy is Irish and my name is spelled this way because every male in the Hourihane family, for the past seven generations, has been named John. Since my older brother's name is John, my dad decided to honor his heritage, which gives me my dual citizenship, and name me the old Gaelic for John: Eoin.

I am the youngest of six which brings with it the never-ending comparisons, teasing, and constant bickering; add to that being small for my age until the age of twelve, and you can imagine my household. We have all been raised to be independent, to love nature (except Princess Ali), and to work our hardest at everything we do.

I have always loved math, playing hockey (ice or floor), matzah ball soup, the Beatles and Queen. As a kid, I was into Percy Jackson and a series of books with titles that all ended in “-ology,” the churros at the hockey rink in Jamestown, Bang party snaps, t-shirts by Tobuscus, and my two stuffed cats - one with a mortarboard, and the other with a Star of David on its front left paw. I have dreamt of being a biomedical engineer and creating a glass eye that can see, knowing the intricacies of the human body and its responses to environmental and internal stimuli, and performing surgery on the brain.

I have celebrated Chanukah and Christmas, honoring my Jewish mother and my Catholic father, but not truly affiliating with either. I am a liberal thinker who follows current events closely, and I am eager to explore the world outside of Buffalo, NY, participate in an academic environment that will challenge me, and live among a community of learners.

College Essay Example #14: Ideal College Community

This supplement was accepted into Columbia University .

Prompt: List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words max)

Filled with activity around the clock. A place to come home to.

Trying to get past locked doors (literal and metaphorical).

Offering intellectual freedom and curiosity, without forcing specialization. Accommodating students who are unwilling to wait to make a difference. Willing to look critically at itself.

Socially conscious and politically active.

Never taking its eye off the national or global stage.

Buzzing with so much life it flows beyond the campus into the outside world.

So much life that sometimes it intimidates, that it yearns for more hours in the day. With too many options to choose from, Too much to do in four years.

Filled with clever eyes that see new ideas in the lessons of history.

Diverse of origin, of culture, of opinion, of religion, of personality, Diverse like an international center of thought and ideas and passions. An urban wonderland.

Supporting of extraordinary ambitions.

College Essay Example #15: Why Computer Science

This essay was accepted into Columbia University . To read more exceptional Columbia essays, be sure to check out our list for more Columbia essay examples .

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words max)

Studying computer science gives me the opportunity to be in a field that evolves so quickly I can always be on the forefront and do cutting-edge work. This summer at an ad-tech company, I moved the data science team’s analysis programs to a novel cluster-computing engine (Kubernetes), which can manage and distribute tasks across thousands of computers at once. Kubernetes is so new that barely any information has circulated about it. Because of this novelty, I was able to publish the first existing documentation of a data science pipeline in Kubernetes.

Computer science can also automate the manual drudgery of life. For example: to manage my clubs, I’ve written a program that checks for emails from members with excuses for missing meetings and automatically logs their absences.

Since computers have become the platform for every science, coding allows me to contribute to numerous fields. When I started at Einstein College of Medicine last year, I knew nothing about computational biology. Our project showed me that basic programming was all I needed to find fascinating results in the mostly unstudied mountains of genomic data.

As a person, I’m drawn to seemingly impossible challenges, in particular, the quest to teach machines and create mechanical consciousness. When I started taking online courses in AI, I became fascinated by the gradient descent method in machine learning. The method casts complex input data (e.g. photos) as thousand-dimensional surfaces and attempts to descend to the lowest points (minima) of those surfaces. It works best on data with underlying patterns, like pictures of human faces. This indicates that, in some way, the very nature of what a ‘face’ is, what unique structure is shared by nearly all faces, is found in the minima that AI models descend towards. My dream is to do foundational artificial intelligence research.

College Essay Example #16: Volunteering at Hospital

This essay was accepted into the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Want to read more UNC essay examples? Check out our list of the best UNC essays for this year.

Prompt: We hope you’ll share with us the activities that you’ve found especially worthwhile. We also hope you won’t feel compelled to tell us everything you’ve ever done or, worse yet, to do things that mean little to you just because you think we expect them.

Low-profile pursuits can be just as meaningful as ones that draw more attention, and fewer activities can be just as good, and sometimes even better, than more activities. For example, although starting a new club can be a great experience and helpful to others, so can caring for siblings, parents, or grandparents, working outside the home to put food on the table, or being a good and caring friend.

For these reasons, although we’re glad to receive complete résumés, we don’t require or encourage them. Instead, if you choose to submit something that goes beyond what you’re providing through your Common Application, keep it brief; focus less on including everything and more on choosing and explaining the things that have meant the most to you; and upload it here. (650 words max)

Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of white coats and scrubs; there was constant beeping of the heart monitors, and the smell of disinfectant was strong.

There I stood - a diminutive, awkward high school kid - lacking in experience and confidence, ready to begin volunteering at Vidant Medical Center. Perhaps the very same qualities that made me nervous were what put patients at ease. Many patients, especially younger ones who were uncomfortable speaking with medical professionals, seemed much more comfortable in my presence. I have learned this quality is how I have been able to make a difference - by connecting with many of the younger patients who were nervous just like me. I’ll always remember the two eight-year-old brothers who were waiting as their father got an MRI.

In some ways, they were also like me - they loved sports, and had an interest in math and science. As they were waiting, we talked about everything, from who they thought would win the NBA championship title to me giving them tips on how to remember their multiplication tables. This interaction put them at ease and kept them from becoming restless.

Every time I step into the hospital, I strive to connect with people. I find that I am able to make a difference not strictly due to my tasks of escorting and discharging patients but because of connection and rapport that I establish with them.

My initial nervousness about whether or not I would be able to assist sick and injured patients soon gave way to relief and gratification as I learned that I was indeed able to help them, by bringing a smile to those I escort, discharge, or deliver meals . I’ve met people I might never have met otherwise, and we’ve shared our thoughts and talked about our experiences. I have come to look forward to their company, who, despite their conditions, are still able to smile every day and enjoy engaging in conversation with me - and vice versa.

Even when volunteering in areas of the hospital where I’m not in contact with patients as often, such as doing food preparation, I always make sure to visit the patients I escort after my shift, to talk to them and uplift their spirits. Volunteering at a hospital reminds me every day how fortunate I am to be in good health and of the rewards of helping those who aren’t. While my job as a volunteer at the hospital may not result in the discovery of a cure for cancer, I am happy to have had an opportunity to contribute to improving the experiences of the children and young adults coping with their hospital stays.

College Essay Example #17: Why Carnegie Mellon

This essay was accepted into Carnegie Mellon University . Want to read more essays that worked for CMU? Check out our list of Carnegie Mellon essays that worked .

Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)

With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.

Specific details and anecdotes will almost always be more compelling than less specific ones. In this essay, the student does a great job of including specific, "nerdy" details, such as "an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome." These details demonstrate your in-depth knowledge of an area and make your essay more engaging.

This essay does a fantastic job of addressing real-world problems and emphasizing the "bigger picture" impact of their studies. Rather than just explaining what they want to study, this student explains how their education will help them have an impact on the world. Make an argument for what problems you see in the world and how you could potentially help solve them.

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to reference unique aspects to the school. Almost all colleges have strong academics, great faculty, etc. So instead of referencing those points, reference what makes the school unique and different. In this essay, the student talks about "CMU's Technology Consulting in the Global Community" program, which is both highly specific to CMU and relevant to their own interests.

In general, you should avoid simply listing your achievements. This student has many remarkable activities and experiences, but it comes across less interesting because the first half of the essay is simply describing these accomplishments.

For "Why Us?" essays, it is also a good idea to reference the values the school represents. Each school has a different "culture" and type of student body, and admissions wants to know how you will fit in.

College Essay Example #18: Why NYU?

This essay was accepted into New York University . Writing your NYU essays doesn't have to be stressful if you get inspired by these examples.

Prompt: Why NYU?

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand - Why NYU? (400 words max)

Living in a suburb my whole life, I've always felt as if I lived in a two-dimensional plane. I can go left, right, forward, and backward.

In a suburb, however, it is nearly impossible to get any meaningful altitude. Upon visiting New York City during the summer before my senior year, however, I found myself gazing up at the skyscrapers soaring high above me. I've always loved the views mountains and buildings; both from above and below. I also have spent time studying Mandarin, and Shanghai would offer a unique opportunity to further my linguistic studies while engaging in cultural immersion.

Beyond settings, NYU has the capacity and the resources available for me to engage in research in quantum computation. Playing video games got me into math and science beyond just playing with my calculator as a baby. There were practical applications of the numbers, and I wanted to understand how it all worked in order to get the best equipment and maximize ammo efficiency. I would watch "Mythbusters" and try to come up with my own hypothesis and see if it matched their conclusion.

In 8th grade, I figured out that I loved science along with math, but I didn't exactly know what science I loved. At the time I was in "physical science" and I did enjoy the class a lot, but I always thought of physics as "speed distance time" triangles which were no fun at all. I was convinced to take AP Physics in my junior year with my friends, and I loved it. It was almost every week we would learn something that completely altered my perception of the universe.

Once I learned about quantum physics and how it basically destroys our understanding of everything, I knew I wanted to pursue it further, and be at the forefront of quantum research.

At NYU, not only can I take courses to learn about the subject, but I can also participate in research through the "Center for Quantum Phenomena". Taking advanced courses and conducting research in a new setting, such as New York or Shanghai, can offer me a new perspective and a breath of fresh air. Conversely, I can help over NYU a new perspective on critical thinking and problem-solving. I chose to apply to NYU because NYU is fit for me, and I am fit for NYU.

College Essay Example #19: Moving Places

This essay was accepted into Pomona College . Check out this Pomona supplement that worked.

Prompt: For Pomona students, the College’s location in Southern California is integral in shaping their experience. Tell us about a location, real or fictional, that has shaped you in a meaningful way. (650 words max)

In supplements where they aren't specifically asking you to write about the school, it can still be a good idea to connect to the school subtly. In this prompt, Pomona isn't asking for "Why Pomona," but the author still manages to imply their interest in the school by referencing Pomona's location near the "San Gabriel Mountains" and "East L.A." This is a subtle way of making the essay feel targeted for Pomona specifically, rather than this essay being reused for other schools, without answering the prompt in a way they aren't looking for.

This essay starts off with a strong metaphor, comparing a "Swiss Army knife" to blankets, which implies the many uses of blankets. This is a captivating hook because it is creative and makes sense when thought about, but isn't something immediately obvious. Throughout the essay, "blankets" become a symbol of being able to adapt to new locations and environments. By using "blankets" as a common thread through the essay, it makes their writing about various locations still feel connected. Even though the prompt is asking for "a location," this manages to work because "blankets" becomes the unifying symbol that ties together multiple locations.

By describing the luxurious-sounding places they've traveled, this essay could come across as privileged. Although coming from privilege isn't necessarily a bad thing for applying to colleges, emphasizing that privilege (especially nonchalantly) could come across as "entitled." This essay doesn't necessarily come across that way, but over-emphasizing your privilege could come across as not recognizing that privilege or "out of touch" with others who may come from less privilege. Instead, it may be better to acknowledge your privilege and show gratitude—emphasizing how those opportunities have allowed you to make a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #20: Double Major

Here's another liberal arts essay that worked, again for Pomona College .

Prompt: Most Pomona students enter the College undecided about a major, or they change their minds about their prospective major by the time they graduate. Certainly we aren’t going to hold you to any of the choices you’ve made above. But, in no more than 250 words, please tell us why you’ve chosen the academic programs (or undecided!) that you have listed. (250 words max)

I’m sitting backstage at my first international piano competition, anxiously awaiting my turn to perform. Unconsciously, I massage my right wrist, still recovering from a recent injury. The young man beside me feels my nervousness and starts a conversation.

As we whisper, I notice him rub his hands together uncomfortably. “What’s wrong?” I ask, quickly leaving my own wrist alone. He suppresses a nervous laugh, then quietly details the long and unsuccessful surgery that shattered his dream of becoming a professional musician. His hands were permanently damaged.

“Alessandra Fang,” the judges call. I stand up, walk to the main stage and look back to see him encourage me with a stiff, crooked thumbs-up. As my fingers dance on the keys, I observe the fragile muscles and ligaments under my skin.

I realize in that moment that it is not in a massive concert hall where I wanted to change people’s lives, but on a smaller stage: an operating room. As an artist who has had her share of painful, music-related injuries, my goal is to become a musician’s physician, and blend my greatest two passions so that I might bring relief to those around me, while understanding their musical and anatomical plight.

I wish to pursue both Biology and Music programs at Pomona College. I want to become a hand surgeon while still developing my artistry on the piano. After all, surgery also has its own cadence, complexity and composition.

Want to read more EssaysThatWorked?

Want to read hundreds more college essay examples?

Check out our other lists of accepted college essays for top schools. We've gathered the best essays that worked for colleges like:

• UC Berkeley
• University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
• Stanford University
• Columbia University
• Brown University
• Johns Hopkins University
• Duke University
• Northwestern University
• Princeton University
• University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
• University of Southern California

And dozens more! In total, we've gathered hundreds of admitted essays from top schools.

Want to check them out all in one place?

Try out our new Essay Library ! It's a searchable database of hundreds of essays admitted to top schools.

What You Can Learn From These Essays

With the number of applicants to top schools skyrocketing, it’s becoming more and more difficult for students to get accepted. To stand out from the crowd, you'll need to write interesting essays.

In this article and on our site, we've compiled hundreds of successful college essay examples so that you can see how other students got accepted and learn exactly what to do in order to help make your application a success too.

In this post you can learn from successful essays from Ivy League universities and other top schools like:

• University of Pennsylvania
• Dartmouth College
• Cornell University
• University of Virginia

Let me know, which essay example was your favorite?

Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com

Want to read more amazing essays that worked for top schools?

Hey! 👋 I'm Ryan Chiang, the founder of Essays That Worked.

Get our 5-minute free newsletter packed with essay tips and college admissions resources, backed by real-life examples from admitted students at top-20 schools.

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confident. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

You might also like:

25 Elite Common App Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

20 Brilliant Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work

UCLA Acceptance Rate By Major & Program 2024

37 Unique "Why This College" Essay Examples for Top-20 Colleges

What do outstanding essays have in common? Here are our 23 most effective strategies based on lessons from admitted students.

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

By signing up you agree to Terms and Privacy Policy

Now available for June 2024 ...

The College Essay Workshop

Join my on-demand step-by-step course for crafting outstanding college admissions essays, plus 1-on-1 help.

Here's everything needed to write essays worthy of Top-20 colleges.

Google Rating

Join our students who have earned acceptances to schools like...

See exactly how students wrote admitted essays for top schools.

Our 231 essay examples show you how ordinary students wrote outstanding essays that helped their applications - all in their own words.

These aren’t just essay examples - but real acceptance stories, from real students who share their most intimate details with you - down to their real essays and exact profiel stats.

How do I find a unique topic? How do I write a great essay? And how do I stand out?

Our 231 essay examples break down these exact questions. Every type of essay prompt, student, and school.

You’ll realize these students are just like you - and that, deep down, you can do it too.

Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

MIT Admitted Essay

Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

UPenn Admitted Essay

A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

Over 200 more admitted essays like these...

Learn the secrets behind outstanding application essays.

College essays are confusing. And it's not your fault. You're not taught how to write them in school.

How should I structure my essay? Can I use humor? What makes a truly great essay?

There's so much conflicting advice out there.

And with people selling "magic formulas" and "structures" to follow... it's easy to be led astray.

You’ll get access to courses, live events, a dedicated essay coach, and countless resources to help you write your best essays.

You finally have a place where you can ask these questions, get advice, and see exactly how admitted students before you did it.

You’re no longer figuring out everything on your own. You're no longer stuck wondering.

Everything you get

231 essays analyzed

Explore our database of 200+ admitted essays from top-20 colleges. Filter by prompt, school, topic, word count, and more. Get expert insights into why they worked and what you can learn from them.

Exclusive access to essay editing

You'll get access to our essay editing services, which is only offered for members. You can get your essays reviewed personally by me (Ryan). I'll give you detailed feedback on how to improve your essays and make them stand out.

Dedicated essay coach & support

You'll get access to our private community, where you can ask questions and get help from me directly. I'll be there to answer your questions and provide unlimited personalized advice.

44 in-depth video lessons

Learn the secrets behind outstanding essays. We break down the entire process, from brainstorming to writing and editing. You'll learn how to write amazing college essays for any prompt, with step-by-step guides and actionable tips.

26 downloadable guides

Get our best tips and tricks in easy-to-read guides. Learn what makes great essays, how to brainstorm your best topics, and how to write specific parts like a powerful hook and memorable ending.

Tons of bonuses

Get the Ultimate College Application Planner, my 154-Point Essay Checklist, and more. You'll also get a free copy of my eBooks, including 23 College Essay Tips to Stand Out and more.

Don't take our word for it

Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of our students and parents.

" Ryan, I want to express our great appreciation to you for your help on George's application essays. You have provided invaluable resources! P.S. I will certainly recommend you to our friends. "

" Ryan—David got into The University of Michigan!!! Only 4 kids got in out of 200 that applied at his school!!! Thank you so so much for everything "

" Thank you for the incredible help Ryan - both Hannah and I have said repeatedly that we could not have done it without you! "

" Thank you for your help with my essays back in November, including my Yale supplements. Just wanted to let you know I ended up getting into and committing to Yale! "

" I feel so much more reassured to press the submit button now. I wish I knew about your site sooner! "

" ... Invaluable to me during the college admissions process! It gave me a different perspective to look at my essays. "

" Initially I was skeptical about my essay's idea and whether it was properly reflected in my writing. This gave me a clear direction! "

Don't miss out on writing your best college essays.

© 2018- 2024 Essays That Worked . All rights reserved.

Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms and Conditions , Privacy Policy , and Cookie Policy .

We have no affiliation with any university or colleges on this site. All product names, logos, and brands are the property of their respective owners.

Calculate for all schools

Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, examples of ucla accepted essays.

Hey everyone! I'm working on my UC application and was curious if anyone knew where I could find example essays from students who were accepted to UCLA. I want to get a feel for what they're looking for in the personal insight questions. Thanks in advance!

Hi there! It's great that you're looking to get a feel for what UCLA might be looking for in the personal insight questions. While I can't share specific essays from students who were accepted to UCLA, I can direct you to a resource that can help you in your writing process. CollegeVine offers a free Essay Breakdown guide for the UC schools, which includes advice on how to approach each personal insight question and some sample essays.

Although it's helpful to see examples, remember that every student's story is unique and what works for one person might not work for another. Use the examples as inspiration, but focus on your own experiences and voice. Be genuine, specific, and reflective in your essays.

Additionally, you can ask your school counselor, peers, or even look for writing workshops or resources in your community to get feedback on your essays. While it's useful to get some ideas from essays written by accepted students, it's essential to stay true to yourself and present your own experiences, achievements, and personality in your responses. Good luck with your UC application!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Why Does UCLA Ask For Supplemental Essays?

Introduction.

The University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) is one of the most prestigious universities in the United States, and it is no surprise that they require supplemental essays for admission. Supplemental essays are an important part of the admissions process, as they provide the admissions committee with an opportunity to gain a better understanding of the applicant, their motivations, and their interests. In this post, we will explore why UCLA requires supplemental essays, and how they can help the admissions committee make a more informed decision.

What are Supplemental Essays?

Supplemental essays are short, focused essays that supplement the main essay of an application. They allow the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values, and to gain a better understanding of the student’s personality and character. Supplemental essays can also be used to explain any gaps in the applicant’s academic record, or to provide additional information that may be important to the admissions committee.

Why Does UCLA Ask for Supplemental Essays?

UCLA requires supplemental essays for several reasons. First, supplemental essays allow the admissions committee to gain a better understanding of the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values. By understanding the applicant’s motivations and interests, the admissions committee can make a more informed decision about whether the applicant is a good fit for the university.

Second, supplemental essays can help the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s personality and character. By understanding the applicant’s values, the admissions committee can gain a better sense of the type of person the applicant is, and how they might contribute to the university community.

Finally, supplemental essays can provide the admissions committee with additional information that may be important to their decision. For example, an applicant may use the supplemental essay to explain why they are interested in a particular program or field of study, or to explain why they chose to apply to UCLA.

How to Use Supplemental Essays to Your Advantage

It is also important to keep in mind that supplemental essays should be used to supplement, not replace, the main essay of the application. Therefore, it is important to make sure that the supplemental essay does not repeat information that is already included in the main essay.

Finally, it is important to make sure that the supplemental essay is well-written and organized. Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and spelling errors, and make sure to follow any formatting requirements set by the admissions committee.

In conclusion, UCLA requires supplemental essays for several reasons. Supplemental essays allow the admissions committee to gain insight into the applicant’s motivations, interests, and values, and to gain a better understanding of the applicant’s personality and character. Supplemental essays can also be used to explain any gaps in the applicant’s academic record, or to provide additional information that may be important to the admissions committee. When writing supplemental essays, it is important to be honest and authentic in your writing, and to make sure that the essay is well-written and organized.”

Opinion: As conservatives target same-sex marriage, its power is only getting clearer

• Copy Link URL Copied!

It’s been two years since the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in the Dobbs case that overturned the federal right to an abortion, and the troubling concurring opinion by Justice Clarence Thomas in which he expressed a desire to “revisit” other landmark precedents, including the freedom to marry for same-sex couples, codified nationally by the Obergefell Supreme Court decision, nine years ago Wednesday

Since that ruling, the LGBTQ+ and allied community has done much to protect the fundamental freedom to marry — passing the Respect for Marriage Act in Congress in 2022; sharing their stories this year to mark the 20th anniversary of the first state legalization of same-sex marriages, in Massachusetts; and in California , Hawaii and Colorado launching ballot campaigns to repeal dormant but still-on-the-books anti-marriage constitutional amendments.

California Democratic Party endorses ballot measures on same-sex marriage, taxes, rent control

The party’s executive board voted Sunday on which measures they would endorse.

May 19, 2024

This winter, I worked with a team at the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law to survey nearly 500 married LGBTQ+ people about their relationships. Respondents included couples from every state in the country; on average they had been together for more than 16 years and married for more than nine years. Sixty-two percent married after the court’s 2015 Obergefell marriage decision, although their relationships started before before that. More than 30% of the couples had children and another 25% wanted children in the future.

One finding that jumped out of the data: Almost 80% of married same-sex couples surveyed said they were “very” or “somewhat” concerned about the Obergefell decision being overturned. Around a quarter of them said they’d taken action to shore up their family’s legal protections — pursuing a second-parent adoption, having children earlier than originally planned or marrying on a faster-than-expected timeline — because of concerns about marriage equality being challenged. One respondent said, “We got engaged the day that the Supreme Court ruled on the Dobbs decision and got married one week after.”

World & Nation

Same-sex marriage ruling creates new constitutional liberty

The Supreme Court’s historic ruling Friday granting gays and lesbians an equal right to marry nationwide puts an exclamation point on a profound shift in law and public attitudes, and creates the most significant and controversial new constitutional liberty in more than a generation.

June 26, 2015

As we examined the survey results, it became clearer than ever why LGBTQ+ families and same-sex couples are fighting so hard to protect marriage access — and the answer is really quite simple: The freedom to marry has been transformative for them. It has not only granted them hundreds of additional rights and responsibilities, but it has also strengthened their bonds in very real ways.

Nearly every person surveyed (93%) said they married for love; three-quarters added that they married for companionship or legal protections. When asked how marriage changed their lives, 83% reported positive changes in their sense of safety and security, and 75% reported positive changes in terms of life satisfaction. “I feel secure in our relationship in a way I never thought would be possible,” one participant told us. “I love being married.”

The evolution of same-sex marriage

I’ve been studying LGBTQ+ people and families for my entire career — and even still, many of the findings of the survey touched and inspired me.

Individual respondents talked about the ways that marriage expanded their personal family networks, granting them (for better and worse!) an additional set of parents, siblings and loved ones. More than 40% relied on each other’s families of origin in times of financial or healthcare crisis, or to help out with childcare. Some told of in-laws who provided financial assistance to buy a house, or cared for them while they were undergoing chemotherapy for cancer.

Analysis:: Antonin Scalia’s dissent in same-sex marriage ruling even more scornful than usual

The legal world may have become inured to wildly rhetorical opinions by Justice Antonin Scalia, but his dissent in the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage decision Friday reaches new heights for its expression of utter contempt for the majority of his colleagues.

And then there was the effect on children. Many respondents explained that their marriage has provided security for their children, and dignity and respect for the family unit. Marriage enabled parents to share child-rearing responsibilities — to take turns being the primary earner (and carrying the health insurance), and spending more time at home with the kids.

The big takeaway from this study is that same-sex couples have a lot on the line when it comes to the freedom to marry — and they’re going to do everything possible to ensure that future political shifts don’t interfere with their lives. As couples across the country continue to speak out, share their stories — and in California, head to the ballot box in November to protect their hard-earned freedoms — it’s clear to me that it’s because they believe wholeheartedly, and with good reason, that their lives depend on it.

Abbie E. Goldberg is an affiliated scholar at the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law and a psychology professor at Clark University, where she directs the women’s and gender studies.

More to Read

Your guide to Proposition 3: Affirming gay marriage in California’s Constitution

July 5, 2024

Opinion: Interracial marriage went from criminal to commonplace. Could it go back?

June 9, 2024

Newsom urges California voters to protect same-sex marriage amid Supreme Court distrust

June 7, 2024

A cure for the common opinion

Get thought-provoking perspectives with our weekly newsletter.

You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.

More From the Los Angeles Times

Opinion: Happy birthday, Amazon? Why one longtime user isn’t celebrating the tech behemoth’s 30th

Tracking the trouble and hope that define the American farm

Opinion: Americans are getting our ‘pursuit of happiness’ all wrong. There’s a simple fix

Opinion: End the blows against the beauty of baseball

July 4, 2024

Understanding Speciation: the Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology

This essay is about speciation the process by which new species arise from existing ones. It explains how genetic isolation and evolutionary pressures lead to the divergence of populations into distinct species. The essay discusses the mechanisms of allopatric and sympatric speciation highlighting the role of natural selection genetic drift and environmental factors. It uses the example of Darwin’s finches to illustrate adaptive radiation. The significance of speciation in understanding evolutionary history biodiversity and its practical implications in agriculture and medicine are also covered. The essay emphasizes the importance of studying speciation to appreciate the dynamic nature of life on Earth.

How it works

Speciation is a big deal in biology—it’s how new species pop up and add to the whole mix of life on Earth. This essay digs into what speciation means how it happens and why it’s such a crucial part of biology.

Speciation kicks in when groups of a species get so isolated from each other that they stop mixing genes. This isolation can be because of geography—like mountains or rivers splitting up populations. Over time these isolated groups build up genetic differences due to mutations natural selection and other genetic changes.

If these differences get big enough even if these groups meet up again they can’t mate and make viable offspring so new species form.

Now there’s another way speciation happens without splitting up geographically—it’s called sympatric speciation. This can go down in a few ways like polyploidy in plants where cells mess up during division and end up with extra sets of chromosomes. These funky plants can only breed with others like them not with the original crew which starts the speciation party. Changes in behavior or where critters live can also split a single group into new species by messing with who they’re willing to mate with.

But hold up—speciation isn’t a quickie process. It takes a crazy long time often thousands or even millions of years. During this time natural selection steps in big time favoring traits that help critters survive and make babies in their new digs. Random changes in gene frequencies called genetic drift also mess around with genes over the long haul. Together these forces build up enough genetic differences between groups to make speciation happen.

Remember those famous finches from Darwin’s Galápagos Islands? They started from one ancestor but evolved into different species with totally different beak shapes and sizes each perfect for chowing down on different grub. This example driven by natural selection shows how different environments can create new species.

Understanding speciation isn’t just about the past—it’s also about the future. It explains how the tree of life branches out making the wild diversity of life we see today. By studying speciation scientists can figure out how evolution works and what makes genes mix it up. This is key for saving species too ’cause knowing how biodiversity happens can help us protect it.

Plus speciation gets real in other fields too like farming and medicine. Knowing how pests could split into new species right under our noses helps us fight ’em better. And in medicine studying how diseases evolve into different strains can show us how to tackle ’em smarter.

So speciation is a big deal in biology—it’s how new species come to be and bring more flavor to life on Earth. It’s all about groups of critters getting split up and changing over time driven by geography genes and behavior. Digging into speciation not only helps us get how life evolves but also helps us deal with all sorts of challenges from protecting biodiversity to fighting diseases.

This essay is just a start for digging deeper and getting more into the science. For personalized help or making sure your essay’s on point you might wanna check in with the pros at EduBirdie.

Cite this page

Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology. (2024, Jul 06). Retrieved from https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/

"Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology." PapersOwl.com , 6 Jul 2024, https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/

PapersOwl.com. (2024). Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/ [Accessed: 6 Jul. 2024]

"Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology." PapersOwl.com, Jul 06, 2024. Accessed July 6, 2024. https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/

"Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology," PapersOwl.com , 06-Jul-2024. [Online]. Available: https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/. [Accessed: 6-Jul-2024]

PapersOwl.com. (2024). Understanding Speciation: The Core Concept in Evolutionary Biology . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-speciation-the-core-concept-in-evolutionary-biology/ [Accessed: 6-Jul-2024]

Don't let plagiarism ruin your grade

Hire a writer to get a unique paper crafted to your needs.

Our writers will help you fix any mistakes and get an A+!

Please check your inbox.

You can order an original essay written according to your instructions.

Trusted by over 1 million students worldwide

1. Tell Us Your Requirements

2. Pick your perfect writer

3. Get Your Paper and Pay

Hi! I'm Amy, your personal assistant!

Don't know where to start? Give me your paper requirements and I connect you to an academic expert.

short deadlines

100% Plagiarism-Free

Certified writers