speeches at wedding reception order

Order of Speeches at a Wedding: Who Says What & When?

Confused about the order of speeches at a wedding? We explain who says what and when in this comprehensive guide

Kim Burrows Photography

We always say there are no 'have tos' when it comes to weddings, you've got to do things the way  you want to, but if you and your partner are after some guidance on the  order of speeches at wedding celebrations, you've come to the right place. 

The wedding speeches  are usually given at a couples’ wedding reception, either before or after the meal, and getting the order of wedding speeches right will help ensure a smooth running of the day. 

There are no set rules when it comes to the wedding speech order and who says what in wedding speeches, but there is a nack to ordering them in the most effective way.

The Order of Speeches At a Wedding: Who Says What & When?

To help you out, we spoke to Marc Blakewill from All Write on the Night who gave us a breakdown of when each speech should traditionally be, what it should include and the best time to have your speeches during the reception.

Here, you will find insight into the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, as well as information on who says what in each speech, and the best time to have your wedding speeches. 

This truly is your one-stop-shop when it comes to wedding order of speeches, ready to get learning? 

• What is the Order of Speeches at Wedding Celebrations? 

Who Says What in Each of the Wedding Speeches?

When is the best time for wedding speeches, expert tips to ensure your wedding speeches run smoothly.

Still looking for wedding speech tips and advice? Here are our top three tips for wedding speeches, in under one minute!

What is the Order of Speeches at Wedding Celebrations?

The traditional wedding speech order goes father of the bride, groom, best man and other toasts.

"In LGBTQ+ weddings, it is also common for both partners to speak but sometimes only one does," explains Marc. If you're having an LGBTQ+ wedding, you can decide on an order that works best for you. We've covered all the different ways LGBTQ+ couples can reinvent the speech section of their wedding.

"I would say the majority of speeches still follow this order. However, it’s now clear people also feel free to change it around," says Marc. Many  brides now choose to give a speech , as do the bridesmaids or maid of honour.

"I’ve seen all sorts of combinations, including the best man starting and the groom coming last. Moreover, the roster of speakers is no longer 'the traditional three' but might also include the father of the groom, the mother of the bride, the maid of honour or the bride herself," Marc explains. 

If you are including these, the order should go: father of the bride, groom, bride, bridesmaids/maid of honour, best man. But honestly, you can pick any order for your wedding speeches that works for you!

The order of wedding speeches is important, because each person (traditionally) is responsible for saying thank yous and making announcements within their speech. Here are the key things that you may want to include in each of the wedding speeches at your reception. 

What Should the Father of the Bride Speech Say? 

Danielle Smith Photography

Kicking off the wedding speech order is the  father of the bride speech . If the father of the bride isn’t present, this can be done by a close family friend.

The father of the bride should:

• Welcome the guests he is hosting and thank them for coming
• Welcome the bride's partner into the family and lead the toasts to absent friends and family
• Compliment the bride, tell some heartfelt stories about her and say how proud you are
• Praise the bride's partner and explain why you think they’re such a great couple
• Toast the newlyweds

The father of the bride shouldn't:

• Only include a list of thank yous - keep the speech witty and warm by adding a joke or two in among the thank yous
• Speak for too long - as you are likely to be the first speaker you want to ensure guests stay alert and eager for the speeches that follow

What Should the Groom’s Speech Say?

The father of the bride’s speech traditionally leads into the groom’s speech .

The groom should:

• Respond to the toast to the newlyweds by the father of the bride
• Thank the guests for attending and their gifts
• Thank both sets of parents
• Thank and say a few words about key members of the wedding party. Toast and compliment the bridesmaids here
• Toast their partner's parents if they are hosting

The groom shouldn't:

• Spend too much time thanking the venue - a quick line will be appreciated but any more can become clunky
• Give out gifts during the speech - this will take up time and can be done after the speeches or on the wedding morning

What Should the Best Man Speech Say?

The best man’s speech finishes off the wedding speeches – no pressure! The best man’s speech is traditionally expected to deliver the laughs so be sure to add in a few classic  best man jokes .

The best man should:

• Echo the groom’s toast in thanking the bridesmaids
• Compliment the couple, particularly the groom's partner
• Tell anecdotes about the groom
• Read out messages from absent friends and family
• Lead a final toast to the happy couple

The best man shouldn't:

• Be too harsh - try not to give the newlyweds a roasting 
• Mention the ex - stories about previous partners will often fall short and cause awkwardness
• Only include personal jokes - you might have a lifetime of drinking stories built up but remember to take the audience into consideration when you decide which stories to tell!

What Should the Bride’s Speech Say?

Karen Catchpole Photography

If the bride is going to give a speech, or to join the groom in a joint speech the bride should:

• Thank her guests for coming
• Thank her parents, especially if they are paying for the wedding
• Compliment her partner and tell a romantic/funny anecdote about them
• Raise a toast

What Should the Bridesmaid/Maid of Honour Speech Say?

Coming before the best man speech, this is a chance for the maid of honour to share her own funny anecdotes about the bride. The bridesmaids may like to share a short speech between them. Some are choosing to turn the maid of honour speech into a big occasion and prepare speeches, songs or videos that include all the bridesmaids and ushers.

The bridesmaids/maid of honour should:

• Thank the bride and offer a story or compliment
• Compliment the ushers

Traditionally the wedding speeches take place after dinner, with the father of the bride occasionally giving his before the meal.

"The speeches are seen as a highlight - something to build up to – and therefore the meal is a good lead-in. Many couples tell me they want their guests to be 'fed and watered' before the speeches start so everyone can sit back, relax and enjoy them. The noise from the guests will then be laughter and applause not rumbling of stomachs," explains Marc. 

Increasingly, couples are choosing to mix the wedding speech order up. It might be that you decide to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast so the speech-givers can then relax and enjoy the meal, or have a speech between each course so the guests don’t have to listen to a solid block of speeches.

If you decide to do this, chat to your wedding venue or caterers to make sure it's doable - you don't want to risk your meals going cold whilst someone talks for too long!

The best time for wedding speeches depends on the schedule of your day. Should you have a long gap between the ceremony and reception, your guests are unlikely to want to wait for their food until the end of the speeches. If you are having an informal meal like a buffet, there won’t be a chance for speeches during courses.

Most couples choose to have speeches after dinner when everyone is satisfied and has had a chance to relax.

Rosanna Lilly Photography

When deciding your wedding speech order, whether you go traditional or not, there are a few important things to consider. 

1. Think about how the person before you will end their speech. If they let you know, you can then alter your speech so it starts referencing the ending of theirs.

2. Set time limits.  "For example, if you allot 10 minutes maximum to the best man he’s unlikely to speak for half-an-hour. If he goes over with, say, 15 minutes, you’ll still largely be on schedule. Be realistic though. It’s actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes," says Marc. 

3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it’s okay to start your speech.

4. Don't have too many speakers. "If you break the mould of having more than the traditional three speakers, where do you stop? Be strict with numbers," suggests Marc. 

5. Ask the other speech-givers what jokes, toasts, anecdotes and thank yous they plan on including in their speeches. That way you can make sure you don’t repeat them and can mix it up a bit so you can do different ones. You don’t want to bore the guests by repeating familiar stories.

6. Consider a master of ceremonies/toastmaster . Marc recommends this as, " they can ensure the speeches start at the appointed time and that the transition from one speech to another is done seamlessly. You must factor in that their opening and introductions to each speaker will add time to the overall wedding speech timetable or give less time to each speaker."

Don’t miss our guide to managing wedding speech nerves if you feel stressed about giving your speech. We also have nine tips for how to deliver an amazing wedding speech

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In This Article

• Speeches Examples
• Speeches Tips
• Speeches Order
• Speeches Template
• What Not to Say
• Wedding Party & Reception

Voices of Love: Unforgettable Wedding Speeches

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Wedding speeches are an essential part of every wedding. They let all the members of the bridal party and guests share their overwhelming emotions about the big day. Best wedding speeches stay in our memory forever, marking the significance of the wedding day for everyone involved. It can be quite challenging to fit all the feelings you want to share into a single toast . In this article, you will find invaluable tips from the expert Amanda Layton, an experienced wedding vow and speechwriter, in crafting memorable wedding speeches.

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Wedding Speeches Examples

Best wedding speeches.

Writing a wedding speech can seem daunting, but with some preparation and guidance, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech that will be cherished by the newlyweds and their guests.

Good evening, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sarah, and I’m the ___ I’ve known the bride, Emily, since we were little girls, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I remember the first time she told me about Alex, and how excited she was to go on a date with him. From that moment on, I knew he was something special. Seeing them together over the years has been such a joy, and I’m so happy to be here today to celebrate their love. Emily, you are the most kind, caring, and generous person I know. And Alex, you are her perfect match. I’ve never seen her so happy as she is with you. I know you will continue to be each other’s best friend, confidant, and partner in all of life’s adventures. So, let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. Congratulations!

Groom Wedding Speech

“I would like to thank my parents for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. I would also like to thank (my wife’s) parents for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now. I would also like to thank them for having such a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and caring daughter. I hope to do you both proud and thank you both for everything you have done today and to make today happen.”

The groom’s wedding speech starts at the reception. On behalf of himself and his bride, he expresses his gratitude to everyone involved in the wedding preparations. He toasts his parents, bridesmaids, and the groom’s party, and mentions their help and support. His speech is often quite sentimental, as he shares some personal memories. He also mentions how his life has changed since he met his bride.

Wedding Speeches for Parents

When the kids find love, the parents are also happy. So, it rests upon them to give wedding reception speeches in honor of their children. Now, depending on the chosen style, you’ll have to fit in with the wedding theme. Most times, a funny speech is just perfect, because it works for every wedding. Below, we’ll see wedding speech examples for different parents.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Groom

“The first time I saw you, it was love. My little baby grew into a wobbly toddler, and then a smart child. The pre-teen and teen years and the next thing I knew, you’ve become a man. I am so proud of you. You’ve made us proud of everything you’ve done. And on your wedding today, we wish you only the best.”

As a mother of the groom, wedding speeches for your son will be an emotional one. You’ll talk about his growing up, the bond you share, and how he was well-raised. You can add one or two romantic quotes  and close. See the wedding speeches sample below.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Bride

“It’s no news that we love our kids so much, and seeing them grow up is hard. Everything they do fills you with pride. But you also miss the little girl who cuddles into you. And cried to you when she scraped her knee. Now my daughter is older and I’m grateful and proud that she found love in the groom. May your lives be long, happy, and peaceful together.”

The wedding speeches for mother of the bride isn’t a norm. But today, it’s becoming acceptable especially if the father isn’t involved. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful and strong. Talk about the good memories in her growing years. And if her father has passed, talk about him with fondness.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Groom

“My greatest blessing is having a son, one that mirrors me in many ways. But like his dream, he’s grown into his own person. He has taught me as much as I’ve taught him and I’m proud. My son is someone who goes the extra mile for people and I know he’ll make an amazing husband. I wish you every best, as we raise our glass to the groom and his amazing bride.”

Your son getting married excites you because he carries on the torch. Again, he will be looking to you for support and wisdom for marriage. So, good wedding speeches from the father of the groom must contain lots of quotes about marriage . Draw inspiration from talking about your own marriage, the bond you share, and why he’s a great son.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Bride

“Looking at both of you in your beautiful dress and dapper suit, my wedding day comes to mind. We were quite excited, filled with love, merriment, and of course nervousness. From me to you, I’ll tell you for free that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times. And doing it with the same person always.”

As the father of the bride, you have responsibilities to your baby girl. From walking her down the aisle to the father-daughter dance. Throwing in a great speech is just perfect. Let your love for your baby shine through and talk about her growing up. Remember the groom, give them pieces of advice, and your best wishes. See the wedding speeches template below for some inspiration.

Wedding Speeches for Sister

Ladies and gentlemen, today I stand before you with immense pride and joy as I celebrate my sister’s union with [Groom’s Name]. As her older sister, I’ve had the privilege of watching her grow into the amazing woman she is today. She has found in [Groom’s Name] the love and support she deserves. Here’s to a lifetime filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. Cheers to the newlyweds!

When delivering a wedding speech for your sister, begin by expressing your love and pride for her. Share heartfelt stories that illustrate her special qualities, highlight her relationship with the groom, and offer well-wishes for their future. End your speech by raising a toast to the newlyweds.

Best Man Wedding Speech

Take a look at this great example of a witty speech, presented by the best man.

“There comes a time in everyone’s life when they meet their one true love, their soul mate, the person that’s going to know and love them for the rest of their life. That moment came for the groom…3 years ago when he met me. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you that don’t know me my name, is Dan, What-would-you-like-to-drink. I hope you’ll come and say hello at the bar later, but please…call me by my full name. On behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank you all for coming. And I want to give special thanks to the parents of the bride and groom… it’s amazing how far some people are willing to travel, just for some free food and drink. And finally, I’d like to thank my best friend (the groom), for giving me the first EVER opportunity…. to be able to speak for five minutes without him interrupting!”

“They say, in a good marriage the husband is the head, and the wife is the heart. So let us drink to the fact that our young people did not know in life either headaches or heartaches!”

“Love is not a fire, it will catch fire, you will not put out. In the hearts of our young people, the fire of love burns. This is a sacred fire. So, fill our glasses and amicably drink to ensure that it never goes out in their hearts!”

“I drink to ensure that our newly married and in 10 years and 20 years of family life, looking at his charming wife, lost his head, but not reason.”

“Friends! I offer a drink for a kiss! After all, he came up with a man, because he did not find any other way to close a mouth to a woman.”

Wedding speeches best man deliver are usually the most humorous of all the others. Thank you’s are also appropriate, especially to the bridesmaids and fellow groomsmen. Some anecdotes about the groom would be also much anticipated. People expect wedding best man speeches to be memorable, funny, with well wishes to the couple . Humor is a must.

100+ Best Wedding Toasts For Different Types Of Guests

Maid of honor speech outline.

“Before I go any further, I just want to say, Bride, you look absolutely beautiful and Groom, you’ve never looked more handsome. For those of you who don’t know me and for those who can’t tell, I’m Bride’s sister. Thank you Bride for the honor of being your bridesmaid. Obviously, I’ve known Bride all of my life and we know more about each other than we would probably care to. We’ve laughed together, cried together, and laughed until we’ve cried. We’ve also had the odd fight! We also have so many inside jokes that only we find funny.”

“A real woman can make a man who surrendered to her, always think that he is the winner. Look at our groom. He looks like a winner. Therefore, let us drink to his beautiful victory and the woman who allowed herself to be defeated, the bride.”

“What is the difference between the fairy tale and the reality? A fairy tale is when he married a snake, and she became a princess. A reality when it on the contrary. Let the life of our newlyweds be like a fairy tale!”

There is one thing all wedding speeches maid of honor makes have in common: they boost the bride. Like any other wedding speech, the maid of honor’s speech can be witty and humorous, but the most important feature of this category is love and sentimentality. Add a couple of memorable stories you have of the newlyweds. Don’t forget well wishes!

Wedding Speeches for Best Friends

“I’m here to talk about two very special people, John and Eve. I’ve been friends with Eve since kindergarten. On our first day at school, we met and formed a friendship that has lived two decades and some. We got into trouble a lot and got grounded many times by the parents. My bestie is free-spirited and has a strong will to date. James, I hope you’re prepared for marriage with a woman who is full of life and spirit. With her, you’ll never live the same day twice. I wish you heaven’s best all your life. A toast…”

Wedding Welcoming Speeches

“Welcome to the celebration of James and Eve’s wedding. A tale of love that promises to last forever. Today promises to be one of beauty, friendships formed, and bonds lasting forever. For you all who have come from far and near to celebrate, we hope you take joy home with you. The happiness of marriage is the highest happiness on earth. And this is what we’ve witnessed today. Sit back, relax, have the time of your lives, and thank you for choosing to share in our joy.

Funny Wedding Speeches

Good evening everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m the groom’s brother. I’d like to start by saying that I’m delighted to see so many people here tonight, and I hope you’re all enjoying the celebrations as much as we are. Now, it’s not often that you get to make a speech at your brother’s wedding, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few stories about him. Growing up, my brother was always the smart one. He was top of his class and excelled at everything he did. And then he met his beautiful bride-to-be, and everything changed. Suddenly he became clumsy, forgetful, and absent-minded. I guess you could say that love really does make you do crazy things. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They truly are a perfect match, and I have no doubt that they will have a long and happy life together. So let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds – may your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and lots of adventures!

Writing a funny wedding speech can entertain guests and create lasting memories. Keep it appropriate, short, know your audience, and practice for a smooth delivery.

Short Wedding Speeches

“Groom, thank you for being an anchor, a friend, and brother. And I can’t be more proud that you married an amazing bride. Man! You’ve won a lottery! We celebrate both of you tonight, and all of the good things you are. You care for everyone and I’m sure you’ll care for her. We wish you success, laughter, and love. May your humor in bad times and appreciation in good times never leave you. May you get answers to prayers. May the friendship you share keep growing till death parts you. Cheers to you!”

Whether you’re giving wedding speeches for the bride, best man, or brother; the shorter the better. This will help make sure you don’t bore the audience. 11 /14

Wedding Thank You Speeches

“We (couple) worked really hard to make this day perfect. But we remembered that being bound to the one you love in the presence of your loved ones — is what makes the day perfect. I’m overjoyed that we had beautiful weather. The food and drinks were great and everyone is happy. Thank you all, especially my beloved, because today I’m bound to him to start a beautiful journey together. And after all my fears and jitters, today turned out to be much more memorable than we planned. Thank you.”

Wedding thank you speeches give you the opportunity to thank your guests. You will also extend your appreciation to everyone who made your day possible. If you intend to mention names, have a list, so that you don’t leave anyone out. This speech can come from the bride or groom. But it’s always better to skip the names. Also, infuse some humor. 12 /14

Wedding Officiant Speeches

“Shall we all sit? Today, we gather to witness and celebrate the matrimony of Eve and James. What they have is an existing bond, and we’ve come together to strengthen it. As family and friends, it’s our honor to witness today. Marriage is a lifetime commitment where two people work tirelessly to bring out the best in each other. You get an opportunity to share your joys, success, failures, and burdens with an ally for life. You get an opportunity to share and grow. One relationship which no other can equal. You are in for a physical and emotional binding that has the promise of a lifetime.”

Great wedding officiant speeches must be short, sweet, and have the perfect length to keep guests dialed in. The officiant should leverage the relationship and how much they know the couple. You must also tailor your speech in line with the wedding style. 13 /14

Wedding Anniversary Speeches

“Anniversaries are beautiful recollections of the past years and reflections for the years to come. The years past were happy and successful ones in many ways. They’re shrouded in a kaleidoscope of great relationships, supportive families, and happy memories. I’m not saying it’s smooth, but with your support, the journey became easier. We can only be grateful, even as we look forward to better years. As we celebrate our 50th year, I want to thank you for walking with us. It’s not a question of where you, it’s who goes with you. Thank you, everyone.”

A wedding anniversary speech must be heartfelt, sweet, and short. Whoever is giving the speech must know that it’s a time to reminisce and give good wishes. So, you’ll talk about the marriage, throw in some humor and bless the couple. If it’s the couple giving the speech, some advice will go a long way. 14 /14

Wedding Quotes for Speeches

“I’ve seen nothing more satisfying than two people coming together to become one. They share in each other’s pleasure, and bear each other’s pain. They crush their enemies together and make home with their friends.” “The pain and weight of life vanish from our lives by one word. It sets us free and we live again. It’s called LOVE.” “If you want to keep your marriage cup filled and running over, always admit your wrongs. And, if you’re right, be kind to shut up.”

Wedding Speeches Tips

Ready to seize the mic, command the room, and leave everyone applauding your wedding speech? Not quite yet? Amanda Layton, a Professional Wedding Speech Writer, shared top 5 tips to help you craft and deliver an epic wedding speech. With a little bit of guidance, you’ll be delivering an unforgettable toast that captures hearts and makes memories for years to come!

• Keep it Short and Sweet First things first–when it comes to wedding speeches less is more. Did you know that a 5-minute speech is approximately 700 words? It’s important to keep your speech concise and to the point, ensuring that every word is impactful and resonates with the audience.
• Skip the Roasts Steer clear of roasting the couple. It might sound funny in your head, but trust me, some things are better left unsaid. Avoid cringeworthy moments by focusing on heartwarming and positive anecdotes that celebrate the couple’s journey and love.
• Harness the Power of Storytelling Capture everyone’s attention by using storytelling to highlight either the bride or groom’s wonderful qualities. Is she loyal, adventurous, generous, or kind-hearted? Is he optimistic, resilient, hilarious, etc? Share a touching story that really showcases one of these character traits, allowing everyone to get a deeper insight into how amazing this person truly is.
• Celebrate the Path to Becoming a Husband or Wife Remember that this is a wedding celebration and your wedding speech is a great opportunity to encourage the bride in her new role as a wife or the groom in his new role as a husband. Share your heartfelt wishes and why you believe they will make an amazing partner in this new chapter of their life.
• Practice Makes Perfect Confidence is key! Practice your speech a few times to build up your self-assurance. Remember to speak slowly when practicing because you are more likely to speed up in front of a crowd. Think of the areas you might tear up at and remember to pause and take a second to breathe. You don’t have to rush through the toast. Everyone wants to hear what you clearly have to say. Here’s the thing, the audience wants you to succeed, so embrace those nerves and let them fuel your confident delivery! You’ve got this, my friend! With these tips and a little bit of preparation, your speech is bound to be a show-stopper that leaves everyone applauding and reaching for the tissues! Crafting a memorable wedding speech is an art form, and your words have the power to touch hearts and create lasting memories.

Wedding Speeches Order

The order of wedding speeches can vary depending on cultural traditions and personal preferences. However, a common order for wedding speeches is as follows:

• Father of the Bride: Welcomes guests, and expresses love and pride for his daughter.
• Groom: Thanks guests, expresses gratitude to both families, and shares love for the bride.
• Best Man: Shares humorous anecdotes about the groom, and proposes a toast.
• Maid/Matron of Honor: Expresses friendship and admiration for the bride, offers wisdom, and proposes a toast.
• Additional speeches: Other family members or friends may give shorter speeches or toasts as desired. Note: The order and inclusion of speeches can be customized to the couple’s preferences. Communication with the wedding party beforehand is essential for a smooth flow of the reception.

Wedding Speeches Template

Introduction:

• Greet the guests and introduce yourself.
• Express your gratitude for being chosen to speak at the wedding.

Personal Connection:

• Share a personal story or memory about the couple.
• Talk about your relationship with either the bride or groom (or both) and how you’ve seen their love grow.

Compliments and Qualities:

• Compliment the couple individually and as a pair.
• Highlight their qualities and what makes them a great match.

Anecdotes and Humor:

• Share light-hearted and funny anecdotes about the couple.
• Keep the humor appropriate and avoid embarrassing stories.

Words of Wisdom:

• Offer advice or lessons on love, marriage, or relationships.
• Use heartfelt and meaningful quotes or poems if desired.
• Raise a toast to the couple’s happiness and future together.
• Invite guests to join in raising their glasses and toasting.
• Express well wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds.
• End with a final heartfelt message or a toast to love.

Remember to personalize the speech to your relationship with the couple and make it heartfelt and authentic. Practice it beforehand to ensure a smooth delivery and consider keeping the speech around 3-5 minutes in length.

Things You’d Better Exclude From Any Wedding Speech

At the same time, there are things great wedding speeches avoid.

• Do not include any embarrassing information.
• Do not mention previous boyfriends or girlfriends of the newlyweds.
• Do not say rude things like ‘We thought that day would never come’.
• Do not include any crude language, there are all sorts of guests around, and what is totally appropriate in a group of friends is inappropriate at the celebration.
• Adding humor, don’t make fun of the bride or groom. This is your best friend’s wedding, do not spoil it! If in doubt – use examples above, but by no means copy them. It is only a piece of speech to boost your imagination.

Wedding Speeches can be tricky to write, but we hope that now you have everything you need to deliver a perfect speech. A couple of jokes, a sentimental story, and letting your love for the couple shine is all it takes.

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

• Embarrassing Stories : Steer clear of tales that could embarrass the couple.
• Negative Remarks : Refrain from negative comments or jokes.
• Excessive Inside Jokes : Ensure your speech is inclusive for all guests.
• Lengthy Monologues : Keep it concise and engaging.
• Controversial Topics : Avoid sensitive or controversial subjects.
• Overuse of Clichés : Aim for originality over clichés.
• Inappropriate Humor : Be mindful of cultural or personal sensitivities.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a wedding speech.

• Express your love and support for the couple.
• Share personal anecdotes or stories about them.
• Offer well-wishes for their future together.

What is a good speech to give at a wedding?

• A good wedding speech is heartfelt and genuine.
• It engages the audience with humor or sentiment.
• It balances praise, personal stories, and wishes for the couple.

What is an example of a short marriage speech?

To [Couple’s Name], may your love be as endless as the horizon, your laughter as infectious as a melody, and your journey together full of joy. Here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!

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Anyone familiar with traditional wedding etiquette will know that the speeches would fall on the male members of the bridal party; AKA, the father of the bride, the best man, the groom, the priest/registrar, and possibly the father of the groom.

The great thing about modern weddings is couples have the choice to lean to tradition or do things their own way. 

Whether making up your own rules or being a little more ‘by the book’, this guide outlines the speech order at a wedding side of things and gets you on your way to making a decision.

Read More: Planning Your Mother of the Bride Speech

Speech Order at a Wedding

At most weddings, the speeches don’t kick off until the reception (either before or after dinner), and while it may not seem like the biggest deal, having an order as to who says what and when will ensure smooth sailing and good speech etiquette.

As we mentioned earlier, traditionally, the father of the bride, groom, and best man would lead the speeches, and then possibly anyone else who planned to toast the wedding (such as the priest/celebrant).

Nowadays, weddings are more fluid and many couples bypass some of the traditions. In the case of same-sex weddings/civil ceremonies, the speeches are often given by one or both members of the couple.

As it’s your wedding, you and your partner get the say in what’s what, and you can either embrace or shunt tradition. Many modern weddings include speeches from the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother/father of the groom, the maid of honour, and anyone else the couple would like to speak at their wedding.

Photography by Wildling Weddings

Wedding Speech Order

Okay, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and look at a more traditional way of approaching the speeches.

Father of the Bride Speech

We know families can be complex, and sometimes, the father of the bride may not be present at the wedding for a variety of reasons, in which case, someone else can stand in. 

However, if he is indeed present, his speech should traditionally cover the following topics:

• A welcome and a thank-you to the guests present, including nods/well-wishes to any absentees.
• Formally embracing the groom into the family.
• A dedication to his daughter/the bride and how proud he is, etc.
• A segment that celebrates the union and how well-matched the happy couple is.
• A toast to the couple.

Father of the Bride Speech: Dos & Don’ts

• DO: Keep it lighthearted and include a joke or two.
• DON’T: Be inappropriate – even a well-meaning but unnecessary joke may put a damper on the mood.
• DO: Keep any personal feelings about the couple/groom to yourself. 
• DON’T: Rattle off a list of thank-yous to everyone involved in the wedding. These should be spread out among all the speakers.
• DO: Impart some marriage wisdom – but only if it’s positive and appropriate.

Groom Speech

Next up, the groom will traditionally say a few words. Ideally, the groom will take on a few thank-yous, as well as pay a nod to the father of the bride in regards to his speech. 

Groom Speech: Dos & Don’ts

• DO: Thank the guests for attending the wedding.
• DON’T: Make jokes that might make anyone uncomfortable.
• DO: Acknowledge both sets of parents.
• DON’T: Forget to close on paying tribute to your beautiful bride. After all, she did agree to marry you!

Best Man Speech

So, if there are any speakers who may be ‘loose cannons’, it’s probably going to be the best man! 

Ideally, the best man’s speech should be injected with humour, banter, and anecdotes about his BFF (the groom), and should have everyone giggling into their champagne.

Best Man Speech: Dos & Don’ts

• DO: Echo the previous speakers’ sentiments and thank-yous (without being repetitive).
• DON’T: Be inappropriate with humour. It’s a wedding, not a stand-up show or a roast. Leave the controversy to Ricky Gervais.
• DO: Be complimentary – especially to the bride. Make her feel welcome.
• DON’T: Bring up any of the groom’s exes. It won’t be well-received by anyone. The same goes for in-jokes with the groom. Know your audience.
• DO: Lead everyone with the main toast. Encourage the audience to raise their glass.

Other Toasts/Speeches

The above speeches are the traditional top 3, but it’s not uncommon for others to say a few words, or even just make a toast. This can be:

• The mother of the bride
• The mother of the groom
• The maid of honour/head bridesmaid
• A step-parent

Alternative Wedding Speech Givers

Some of us say, “to heck with tradition” and want to do our weddings our way! For those wanting to wander a more contemporary wedding speech path, we’ve included a guide on how to smash those alternative speeches.

Bride Speech

Why should the menfolk be the only ones to have their voices heard?! Let’s be honest. The big day is mainly about the bride (who has likely been planning it since she was a wee whippersnapper!), and many brides like to make a toast too.

Speech Ideas for the Bride

• A collective thank-you to the guests.
• A tribute to the vendors and the venue, as well as any wedding coordinators
• A shoutout to the bridesmaids for all their hard work.
• A nod to both the bride and groom’s parents (especially if they helped pay for the wedding).
• A tribute to her now-hubby.

Maid of Honour Speech

The maid of honour is the best man’s equal and plays just as important a role in the wedding prep and the wedding itself, therefore she should absolutely have the opportunity to say a few words (if she wants to).

Speech Ideas for the Maid of Honour

• Compliment the happy couple.
• Thank the bride for entrusting her with the task of being maid of honour.
• A nod to the other beautiful bridesmaids.
• A toast to the newlyweds.

LBGTQ+ Wedding Speeches

Same-sex weddings often follow a similar protocol to het nuptials, with the exception of speeches. It is often a tradition that the main speakers at an LGBTQ+ wedding will be one or both members of the couple. 

Wedding Speeches: Top Tips

There’s a knack to nailing the wedding speech – especially if you are a nervous speaker – and these top tips will help ensure there’s not a dry eye in the house!

• Avoid clichés. Nothing will make eyes glaze over more than words like ‘soul mate’, ‘love at first sight’, and so on.
• Rehearse your speech regularly. Don’t leave it until the day or ‘wing it’. Get into the habit of rehearsing it, and not only will you nail it, but the process will be less daunting.
• Record yourself. Use your phone or a voice recorder to record your speech and listen back to it (yes, we know it kinda sucks hearing your own voice!). Video recording is better because you can evaluate your posture, mannerisms, and so forth, and work on them while practicing.
• Be conscious of your body language. Believe it or not, a big chunk of a successful speech is in the way you present yourself – not the words. Hunched shoulders, averted eyes, shuffling, ‘umms & ahhs’, and fidgeting are a recipe for an awkward, lacklustre speech.
• Don’t go OTT with alcohol before your speech. Too much Dutch courage will backfire.
• Be authentic. Don’t try too hard to be funny, emotive, etc., unless you’ve got De Niro-style acting skills. Forced speech personalities are easy to see through.
• Don’t rush. Few are the folk who actually enjoy public speaking, but rushing your speech is bad news. Not only will it possibly cause offense to the bride and groom, as it will appear as if you don’t want to be there, but you increase the chances of tripping on your words, as well as kissing goodbye to an enjoyable speech for the audience.

In traditional wedding etiquette, speeches would take place after dinner, and everyone would then toast a glass of champagne to kick-start the evening’s festivities.

However, modern brides and grooms are forever shaking things up, and oftentimes, in contemporary weddings, the speeches will take place before the wedding feast.

The traditional speech order at weddings goes as follows:

• Father of the bride
• Other toasts/anyone else allocated to provide a speech.

In the days of yore (and in many modern weddings), the father of the bride is the first speech-giver. However, owing to the complexities of modern family units, or personal preferences, the first speech-giver can be anyone whom the bride and groom requests.

The toast-giver is usually the allocated wedding host. In traditional times, this would be the father of the bride. However, nowadays, it can be any member of the bridal party, including the mother of the bride, maid of honour, best man, or even the registrar/celebrant. 

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Find a local wedding supplier, traditional order of speeches.

Modern Wedding Posted: February 26, 2021

Via Danielle Smith Photography

The short version of the traditional order of speeches

The toast to the bride and groom - given by the bride's father or a close family friend.

The bridegroom's reply on behalf of his wife and himself. He then proposes a toast to the bridesmaids.

The best man's speech on behalf of the bridesmaids. He then reads any emails or messages.

Via SunshineShannon

Via Sunshine Shannon

The longer version of the traditional order of speeches

Welcome by the Master of Ceremonies.

Introduction of the person proposing a toast to the bride and groom.

Response from the groom and a toast to the bridesmaids.

Response by the best man.

Toast to the parents of the bride.

Response by the father of the bride.

Toast to the parents of the groom.

Response by the father of the groom.

Reading of important messages.

Any other comments by those who wish to be acknowledged.

M.C. thanks the musicians, caterers and any others.

Breaking tradition

You don't have to stick to this format. If anyone is very shy, why spoil the happy day by torturing them? There is no reason whatsoever why the girls can't have their say! If the bride wishes to speak, she may want to do so after the groom. She can toast the groomsmen as well as the bridesmaids and then the chief bridesmaid, or the Best Man could respond. A lot depends on who is good at making speeches. As long as the people who count are thanked, and someone wishes the happy couple well, speeches are simply a tool for livening up the party atmosphere, and making sure the room is filled with joy and laughter.

Via Modern Wedding

Now you have an idea of the traditional order of speeches, take a look at our do's and don'ts to writing a speech here !

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• Who Gives Speeches at Weddings?

Here’s a breakdown of who typically gives speeches at weddings and when. Use our guide to help you figure out what works best for you and yours!

By Jennifer Prince

Weddings are emotional roller coasters. Besides the vows , few moments carry as much emotional weight as the speeches. As the clamor of reception chatter halts, the clinking of knives on glasses invites the honored toasts. It’s an opportunity for couples to give the floor to those they love and care about to welcome guests, tell stories, and possibly even have everyone shed a tear or two. But who gives speeches at weddings, anyway?

For those about to tie the knot, the question is not only about who speaks but also about how to manage that highly anticipated mic time. In the vast symphony of wedding logistics, speeches stand out as an unscripted time that can either be fun and intimate or total chaos, depending on who has the floor.

This comprehensive guide is tailored to couples looking to enhance their receptions and bring a bit of personality into their receptions. From parents and siblings to friends and officiants, here’s who speaks at a wedding reception.

Typical timeline and breakdown of wedding speeches

The question of who gives speeches at weddings is best answered by coupling the traditional order of wedding reception speeches with who should offer them. So, the order of speeches at the reception below gives great insight into the who and how of these times at the mic.

The welcome toast

Who gives the welcome speech at a wedding? This honor is usually reserved for the parents of the couple. The purpose of the welcome toast is to make the guests feel welcome. It also centers everyone’s minds on the reception and evokes emotions from sentimental memories.

Reflecting on the union, the parents conceptualize the toast as a welcoming bridge of life's chapters. Be it the father's wisdom, the mother's warmth, or both parents sharing the limelight, this speech introduces the evening, setting a tone that resonates through the night.

The blessing

A customary part of the wedding structure , the blessing can be religious or secular. Close family members, the officiant, or influential community figures often offer it. Additionally, the blessing is a solemn invocation of joy and future success over the union. It transcends the marriage into spiritual realms, humbling the gathering before nature, love, and divine grace.

The best man and maid of honor toasts

If you’ve been wondering who gives a speech at a wedding, don’t skip out on those standing by your side. After all, these speeches, often the most anticipated and, subsequently, the most terrifying, are the products of unabated friendship and cherished memories.

The best man and maid of honor carry the torch of humor, sentimentality, and a dash of mischievousness. They speak of golden-oldie escapades, enduring friendship, and the unyielding support that bonds the trio of friends in the silent contract of trust and secrets.

The newlyweds' toast

This heartfelt moment the newlyweds share encapsulates the essence of love, commitment, and partnership. While not as common in all cultures, this modern practice allows the duo to express gratitude. They can also recognize the start of their joined life and, perhaps, sneak in a few playful comments. Doing such a speech can give the audience a glimpse into the dynamics of their relationship. A toast for the bride and groom is common, but a toast from them makes the evening even more special.

Who gives a speech at the wedding rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner, a pre-wedding soirée, often includes its own set of speeches and toasts. Who gives the wedding toast at the rehearsal is often up for debate. Sometimes, it’s even up to the mother of the groom .

It’s common for the parents or significant guardians of the bride and groom to give speeches at the rehearsal dinner. These are appreciated as more casual expressions of love and support, free from the structured formality of the wedding day protocols.

The couple-to-be

In modern times, it's also not uncommon for the couple to say a few words of thanks and anticipation. This can be a touching moment for the couple to share their excitement and appreciation in a less formal setting. They can also give a bridal party toast to thank their attendants.

Who should I ask to give a speech at my wedding?

Selecting the right individuals to speak at your wedding is a decision of great honor. While wedding planning, it’s important to think about who gives the speeches at a wedding reception.

Even if you’ve already figured out how many speeches at a wedding you’ll have, choosing the right mix of presenters is key. Plus, there are a few things to consider when weighing your options.

Understand the culture.

Wedding traditions are often deeply rooted in cultural practices. Understanding the specific expectations of who gives the speeches at weddings can save you from a diplomatic misstep. In some cultures, the godparents might have a speaking role, while in others, the best man’s speech might be a highlight. Acknowledge and accommodate these cultural nuances when selecting your speakers.

Give weight to personal considerations.

Bridal couples must feel a profound connection with the individuals chosen to speak. Discussing the expectations and the content of the speeches can ensure that the personal tales shared are in good taste and align with the couple’s narrative.

Know who will be reliable.

A wedding speech is not the time for surprises. Ensure those who speak are familiar with public speaking. They should also have a friendly, reliable, and potentially sober disposition (at least until after the speeches!).

Think about the emotional ties.

The speakers should have a meaningful connection to the couple or family. It's not about status or impressive titles; it’s about shared history and a genuine desire to honor the occasion with a heartfelt address.

Consider the personality and style of the individual.

The most memorable speeches are those that resonate authentically with the personality of the speaker. Whether it’s a quiet grace or an exuberant spirit, the speeches should be a natural extension of the speaker's persona.

Ensure the person is willing to prepare a speech.

The adage, ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail,’ holds true for wedding speeches. The selected speakers should be willing to invest time and effort into crafting their message.

Wedding toast hints for speechgivers

If the answer to “who gives speeches at weddings” is you, then here’s a short guide to pulling it off successfully. A worthy wedding toast combines humor, sentiment, and brevity into a cohesive, engaging message.

It’s a balancing act that not everyone can pull off, but with a bit of guidance, anyone can deliver a memorable toast. Who gives a wedding toast on your big day is important to them, you, and your guests.

Dos and don’ts of wedding speeches

• Do keep it short .
• Don't overshadow the other speakers.
• Do share personal stories.
• Don't dredge up old and potentially embarrassing tales.
• Do practice.
• Don't memorize word for word.

Structure of wedding speeches

A good speech usually follows the simple structure of an introduction, body, and conclusion. A toast, however, is less rigid in form. Keep it light and memorable, and always end with a direct “to the happy couple.”

FAQ about wedding speeches

Who gives speeches at weddings vs. rehearsal dinners.

Rehearsal dinner speeches tend to be given by close friends and family, often setting a more intimate and relaxed tone. In contrast, wedding speeches are a blend of formal and personal accolades, typically delivered by the bridal party, parents, and sometimes, the couple themselves.

Do people give speeches during the wedding ceremony?

Speeches during the actual wedding ceremony are less common but not unheard of. In religious services, clergy often deliver homilies that resemble speeches in their reflective and narrative style, sometimes allowing for personalized content.

Do the bride and groom give speeches?

As stated above, sometimes the newlyweds give some of the best speeches at weddings. However, if you want to add a creative twist, think about having a bride toast to the groom (or bride) or the groom to his partner. Giving a toast to the groom or bride from the newly crowned spouse can be a treasured moment.

Who will endorse your beginning?

Selecting who gives speeches at your wedding is an act of trust and tribute. Each speech, however, should not only resonate with the couple but also with the essence of the celebration.

Secure in the knowledge of who, when, and how these voices speak, you and your partner can rest assured that the echoes of the speeches will reverberate through the story of their marriage. If you’re wondering exactly how long your reception should be so that you can make time for speeches, check out Zola’s wedding reception timeline .

Even more answers

• When Wedding Planning Meets Social Media Stress: Finding Your Balance

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Your Wedding Reception Order of Events: A Simple Step-by-Step Timeline

What comes first, the speeches or the cake cutting? Plan a memorable celebration with this wedding reception order of events.

Viceroy Washington DC

Yes, your wedding reception is supposed to be a time to let loose and celebrate with your family and friends. And while yes, you should absolutely relax and enjoy yourself, there's also a wedding reception order of events that you'll want to follow. Keeping to a wedding reception timeline will ensure that your guests have time to eat, drink, dance, and mingle, as well as enjoy special dances and traditions that people expect at a celebration. Your wedding planner or venue coordinator will likely help you draft a reception timeline—make sure you share it with all of your vendors (particularly your caterer and DJ or bandleader), and your VIPs (wedding party and close family members). Here's a suggested wedding reception order of events to help you get started:

How long is a wedding reception?

One quick thing before we move into the timeline—how long should a wedding reception last? Including cocktail hour, a wedding reception typically lasts between four and seven hours. Again, this all depends on your venue contract , as different venues offer different wedding packages that include a certain number of hours, and there may be noise restrictions at your chosen location. Be sure to discuss the timing of your reception with your venue before creating your wedding reception order of events. 

Wedding Reception Order of Events

Note that this timeline begins after the ceremony has already taken place. 

1. Receiving Line 

This tradition may seem a bit outdated to some (particularly during COVID times), but if you're planning on having a receiving line (when guests form a line to greet the newly-married couple one by one), it would take place before the reception, either at the ceremony venue or as guests are entering the reception site.

2. Cocktail Hour

The cocktail hour is a time for guests to enjoy a beverage or two, some hors d'oeuvres, and conversation, but it also serves as a buffer between the wedding ceremony and reception. This is particularly important if your ceremony and reception are taking place at different locations, as it allows some time for your guests to travel between venues (you may want to bump your cocktail hour time up to 90 minutes if the two venues are some distance apart). And, if the ceremony and reception are taking place in the same room, the cocktail hour allows the venue staff time to restage the space. Many newlyweds opt to take their portraits during cocktail hour, but you can also take photos before the ceremony if you're okay doing your "first look" then. 

3. Guests Enter the Reception

As cocktail hour comes to a close, the doors to the reception space are opened and guests are encouraged to enter the space and find their tables. Hopefully, your guests will have retrieved their escort cards or looked at a seating chart sign during cocktail hour to make the process quick and seamless. 

4. Wedding Party Entrance

While guests are filing into the reception room, the wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridesmen, groomsladies, flower girls, and ring bearers) and immediate family members are lining up to make their grand entrance. The DJ or band will play some upbeat music and introduce the couple's parents and wedding party members as the VIPs dance into the reception. They may either form a line around the dance floor to watch the first dance, or take their seats. Note that a wedding party entrance is not mandatory—if desired, you can skip it and go straight to the next step...

5. Newlyweds' Grand Entrance

Guests are asked to stand up and cheer as the newlyweds are introduced and enter the reception to a celebratory tune . The couple may then take their place on the dance floor for the first time as a married couple. 

6. First Dance

According to a recent WeddingWire study, 90 percent of couples performed a first dance during their wedding reception, making it the most popular wedding tradition. At some weddings, couples perform their first dance immediately after entering the reception—at others, they'll wait until after dinner. At Jewish weddings , the hora (a lively circle dance) usually takes place after the first dance and before dinner. 

7. Welcome Speech

This is a nice opportunity for the newlyweds and/or their parents (the hosts of the event) to briefly thank all of their guests for attending the big day. Any blessings or prayers to be said before the reception meal will also be offered at this time. 

8. Reception Meal/Dinner

Time to eat! Whether you're serving your reception meal as a plated dinner, family style, or buffet style , it's best to let guests eat shortly after entering the party. This way, they'll be able to fuel up for dancing—no one wants a group of hangry revelers ! 

9. Toasts and Speeches

Speeches and toasts are typically given as guests are enjoying the reception meal—they're already sitting down and are more likely to be attentive during this time. Usually, the order of wedding reception speeches goes as follows: The best man goes first, followed by the maid of honor, and parents of either spouse (traditionally, this spot is reserved for the father of the bride, but any parent/host can speak). Each speech should be brief, between one and two minutes, with three minutes being the max. The couple may also give a thank-you speech at this time, or if desired, the shoe game or other fun activity can take place at this point in the wedding reception timeline. 

10. Special Dances

After the toasts, the couple and their parents hit the dance floor. Parent dances may include the father-daughter dance and/or the mother-son dance . According to the WeddingWire study, 59 percent of couples include parent dances as part of their wedding reception. 

11. Party Time!

The moment all of your guests have been waiting for—time to dance the night away! The DJ or band will create a playlist featuring both upbeat songs and romantic ballads to draw all of your guests to the dance floor. 

12. Cake Cutting

​After your guests have had a chance to cut loose, the wedding cake will be brought to the dance floor for the cake cutting. The newlyweds will cut the first slice of wedding cake together and feed it to each other. Dancing will then continue as the cake is served to guests.

13. Bouquet and Garter Toss

If you're planning on doing a garter and/or bouquet toss, it will require another break in the dancing. While some couples and their guests enjoy this tradition, others find it a bit gendered and dated. It's up to you whether or not you'd like to include these as part of your wedding day. 

14. Last Dance

It's almost time for the reception to come to a close. Your DJ or bandleader will announce the last dance so you and your guests can gather on the dance floor. Whether you choose a slow song or an upbeat tune, this moment's sure to be a memorable one. 

15. Grand Exit 

Whether you're opting for a sparkler send off or a more low-key goodbye, it's time for you and your new spouse to depart the reception. This is a great photo op, so make sure your photographer has time to set up the perfect shot! 

16. After-Party

If you're hosting an after-party , it will take place immediately after the reception (obvs). Make sure your guests know when and where the party will be by listing the details on your wedding website and via signage at your reception. 

Related WeddingWire Articles

Order Of Speeches At Wedding – A Complete Guide

When it comes to weddings, there is a certain order of events that most couples follow. One important aspect of the reception is the speeches, where key people have the opportunity to share their thoughts and well wishes with the happy couple. In this complete guide, we will walk you through the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, as well as explore modern variations and provide tips for delivering a memorable speech.

Traditional Order of Speeches at a Wedding

1. Welcome Speech by the Host: The wedding reception kicks off with a warm welcome from the host, typically the master of ceremonies or the person who organized the event. This speech sets the tone for the evening, expresses gratitude to the guests for attending, and introduces the newlyweds.

2. Father of the Bride Speech: The father of the bride takes the stage next, sharing his excitement, pride, and joy for his daughter’s marriage. This speech usually includes welcoming the groom into the family, reminiscing about childhood memories, complimenting the groom’s qualities, and concluding with a toast to the newlyweds.

3. Groom’s Speech: The groom then has the opportunity to address the audience. His speech typically starts by expressing gratitude to the guests for being a part of their special day and acknowledging important people such as parents, siblings, and friends. The groom then proceeds to express his love and appreciation for his bride, highlighting traits and sharing special moments. To conclude, the groom toasts the bridesmaids, honoring their support and friendship.

4. Best Man’s Speech: The best man follows the groom, often bringing a light-hearted touch to the reception. This speech aims to entertain guests with amusing anecdotes and humorous stories about the couple. The best man also expresses admiration for the bride and groom, shares heartfelt wishes, and toasts to their future happiness together.

5. Maid of Honor’s Speech: Last but not least, the maid of honor takes the stage. She begins by introducing herself and her relationship with the bride. The maid of honor shares memorable stories and moments with the couple, emphasizing their bond and friendship. Expressing love and support for the couple, she concludes with a heartfelt toast and well wishes for their future.

Modern Variations of Wedding Speeches

A. Same-Sex Wedding Speeches: In same-sex weddings, the traditional order of speeches may be adapted to fit the couple’s preferences. This can include modifying roles or rearranging the order of speakers. It is also an opportunity to celebrate love and equality, incorporating personal experiences and reflections into the speeches.

B. Blended Family Wedding Speeches: Blended families bring a unique dynamic to weddings. Speeches in these situations often recognize the importance of the new family unit coming together. Acknowledging and expressing gratitude to step-parents is common, while also emphasizing unity and the shared future of the couple and their families.

C. Non-Traditional Wedding Speeches: Some couples choose to take a more unconventional approach to speeches. This can involve altering the order and structure or incorporating creative ideas. Personal touches and unique elements are often used to create a one-of-a-kind experience for the couple and their guests.

Tips for Delivering a Memorable Wedding Speech

A. Prepare in Advance: Don’t leave your speech to the last minute. Take the time to brainstorm ideas, draft your speech, and rehearse it several times. Being well-prepared will boost your confidence.

B. Keep it Genuine and Heartfelt: Speak from the heart and let your genuine emotions shine through. Personal stories and heartfelt messages will resonate with the couple and the audience.

C. Practice Delivery and Timing: Practice your speech to ensure a smooth flow and appropriate timing. Pay attention to your tone, pace, and body language. Rehearsing will help you deliver your speech confidently.

D. Maintain Appropriate Length: Keep your speech concise and within a reasonable time frame. Aim for around three to five minutes to maintain the audience’s interest and allow other speakers their time.

E. Engage the Audience: Be aware of your audience and connect with them. Maintain eye contact, smile, and include moments of engagement such as asking rhetorical questions or using interactive elements.

F. Use Humor Wisely: Humor can be a great addition to a speech, but be mindful of your audience and the context. Keep jokes light-hearted and avoid anything offensive or crude.

G. Manage Nervousness: It’s natural to feel nervous when speaking in front of a crowd. Take deep breaths, visualize success, and remind yourself that you are among a supportive audience who wants you to succeed.

Indeed, the order of speeches at a wedding is a cherished tradition that allows key individuals to express their love, joy, and well wishes for the newlyweds. Whether you stick to the traditional order or create a more personalized approach, these speeches contribute to the overall celebratory atmosphere of the day. By following our guide and incorporating your own personal touch, you can deliver a memorable speech that will be cherished by the couple and their guests for years to come.

Jessica Rankin

Order of Speeches at Weddings and Who Speaks

by Ryan Hart | Updated on September 22, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Are you getting ready for your big day and wondering about the order of speeches at weddings? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

The traditional wedding speech order has been around for centuries, but it can still be confusing to know who speaks when. In this article, we’ll break down the order of speeches and give you tips on how to make your wedding speeches memorable.

The reception speeches are a chance for your loved ones to share their love and support for you and your partner. It’s a time to reflect on the past, celebrate the present, and look forward to the future.

Whether you’re giving a speech or listening to others, it’s important to make the most of this special moment. So, let’s dive into the traditional order of speeches and how you can make your wedding speeches unforgettable.

Wedding Speech Order

At a wedding, speeches are an important part of the celebration. They give the chance for loved ones to express their feelings and share memorable moments with the newlyweds. However, the order of speeches can be tricky, especially if you are not familiar with the traditional structure.

In this section, we will break down the order of speeches, so you can feel confident and prepared when it comes to your big day.

Traditional Order

Traditionally, the order of speeches at a wedding reception follows a specific structure:

• Father of the Bride

Maid of Honor

The first speech is given by the father of the bride, or parents of the bride. This speech usually welcomes guests and thanks them for coming. The father of the bride will also express his love and pride for his daughter, and welcome his new son-in-law into the family.

The maid of honor is then given the floor to share some sweet memories and offer her support to the newlyweds.

Finally, the best man takes the stage to give a speech that is usually filled with funny stories and anecdotes about the groom. He also usually offers a toast to the newlyweds .

Modern Variations

While the traditional order of speeches is still widely followed, there are some modern variations that couples may choose to incorporate. For example, the bride may choose to give a speech, or the groom’s parents may give a speech as well.

It is also common to hear speeches from siblings, bridesmaids, or other family members and friends.

Couples may also choose to switch up the order of speeches or have multiple people speak at the same time. It’s important to remember that the structure of speeches should reflect the couple’s preferences and personalities.

Order for Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the order of speeches can be adjusted to fit their needs. While there is no set order for speeches, it’s common for one partner’s parents to speak first, followed by the other partner’s parents.

After that, the couple themselves may choose to give a speech, followed by their friends or family members.

The key is to make sure that everyone who wants to speak has the opportunity to do so and that the speeches are filled with love and support for the newlyweds. It’s important to remember that every wedding is unique and that the order of speeches can be tailored to fit the couple’s preferences and needs.

Who Gives Speeches at a Wedding?

At a wedding, there are several folks who typically step up to the microphone to give speeches and share their heartfelt thoughts. Here’s a rundown of who you can expect to see giving speeches at a wedding:

Bride and Groom

The bride and groom have several options for when and how they can give their speeches at their wedding. Here are some potential options:

Rehearsal Dinner: The night before the wedding, during the rehearsal dinner , the bride and groom can give a speech to express their gratitude to everyone for being a part of their celebration. This is often a more intimate setting and allows for a more personal and heartfelt speech.

Before the Reception Dinner: Some couples choose to give their speeches just before the formal reception dinner begins. This can be a great way to kick off the evening and set the tone for the celebration. It also ensures that everyone is seated and attentive.

After Dinner with the Other Speeches: The bride and groom can opt to give their speeches as part of the lineup of speeches and toasts during the reception. They may follow the speeches by the Maid of Honor, Best Man, parents, or other close friends and family members. This is a common choice and allows the couple to share their thoughts and gratitude in the midst of the celebration.

During Cake Cutting: Some couples opt to give speeches right before or after the cake cutting ceremony. It adds a special moment to the festivities and often garners the attention of all the guests as they gather around to watch the cake cutting.

Ultimately, the timing and format of the bride and groom speeches depend on their preferences and the flow of their wedding day. They should choose the option that feels most comfortable and meaningful to them, as well as one that fits well with the overall schedule of events. The important thing is to express their love, gratitude, and excitement for their new journey together.

Mother or Father of the Bride

As the mother or father of the bride, you have a special role to play in the wedding reception. Traditionally, you are the first speaker to give a toast, and your speech is often one of the most sentimental and emotional speeches of the evening.

During your speech, you will typically welcome guests and thank them for coming to celebrate this special day with your family. You may also share some memories of your daughter growing up and express your love and pride for her on her wedding day.

It’s important to remember that your speech should be heartfelt and genuine, and not overly rehearsed or formal. Speak from the heart, and let your emotions show as you share your thoughts and feelings with your daughter and her new spouse.

Mother or Father of the Groom

The mother or father of the groom typically gives their speech at the rehearsal dinner, which is usually held the night before the wedding.

The rehearsal dinner is a more intimate gathering, where the wedding party and close family members come together to practice the ceremony and enjoy a meal. This is a great opportunity for the parents of the groom to express their love and support for their son and his future spouse.

The mother or father of the groom may share some stories about their son, offer some words of wisdom, and express their excitement for the upcoming wedding day. Overall, the speech is a way for the parents of the groom to show their love and support for the happy couple.

The best man usually gives his speech after the maid of honor and before any other speeches at a wedding. The best man’s speech is typically filled with funny stories and anecdotes about the groom, but it should also be heartfelt and express his support for the newlyweds.

Ultimately, the best man’s speech should be a reflection of his relationship with the groom and his wishes for the couple’s future together.

When preparing your best man speech, it’s important to strike a balance between humor and sincerity. You want to make the guests laugh, but you also want to express your genuine affection for the groom and your happiness for the couple.

Remember to keep it appropriate for all ages and avoid any inside jokes that only a select few will understand.

In the traditional order of wedding speeches, the maid of honor typically gives her speech after the father of the groom and before the best man. Her speech is all about the bride and her relationship with the groom.

During her speech, the maid of honor may share some funny stories or sweet memories about the couple, but her speech should also be heartfelt and show how much she supports the newlyweds.

She may also thank the bride’s family for welcoming the groom into their lives and express her gratitude for being a part of the wedding celebration.

Grandparents

Grandparents are an important part of any family, and they may be given the opportunity to give a speech at a wedding.

In many cases, grandparents will give their speech during the reception, after the main speeches have been given. Grandparents may offer some words of wisdom, share some stories about the couple, or express their love and support for the newlyweds.

While grandparents are not typically included in the traditional order of wedding speeches, they are still an important part of the celebration. If you would like to include your grandparents in your wedding speeches, be sure to talk to them ahead of time and give them an idea of what you would like them to say.

Well, it’s not set in stone, but there are a few common times when siblings might get up to say a few words at a wedding.

Maid of Honor or Best Man Speech: If your sibling is the Maid of Honor or Best Man, they usually get a chance to give a speech during the reception. They’ll share funny stories, heartfelt moments, and wish the newlyweds all the best. It’s a big honor!

As a Surprise: Sometimes, siblings plan a surprise speech. They might talk to the bride and groom beforehand and get a secret spot in the schedule. This can be a super touching moment because it’s unexpected.

During Open Mic Time: At some weddings, there’s an open mic time where guests can come up and share their well wishes. Siblings can use this opportunity to say a few words if they want.

At the Rehearsal Dinner: If there’s a rehearsal dinner before the wedding, siblings might give a speech there. It’s a more intimate setting, so it can be a great chance to express your love and support.

Toast with Everyone : Sometimes, there’s a big toast where everyone raises their glasses to the newlyweds. Siblings can definitely participate in this and say a few words if they’d like.

Remember, it’s not a must for siblings to give a speech at a wedding, but if you want to, just make sure to coordinate with the couple or the wedding planner so you know when and where to do it.

Best Friends

If you’re the Maid of Honor (for the bride) or the Best Man (for the groom), you’re almost guaranteed to give a speech. It’s like your time to shine! You’ll get to stand up in front of everyone, share funny stories, and say some super sweet stuff about your friend.

But even if you’re not in those roles, there are still opportunities. Sometimes, during the wedding reception, there’s an open mic period where friends and family can give speeches. That’s your chance to grab the microphone and say some heartfelt words about your bestie and the happy couple.

Oh, and don’t forget the rehearsal dinner! It’s usually the night before the wedding, and it’s a cozy, smaller gathering. You might be asked to speak there, kind of like a warm-up for the big day.

Other Speakers

Aside from the traditional speakers, you may choose to involve other speakers in your wedding speeches. These could be close friends or family members who have a special connection to you and your partner. Including other speakers can add a personal touch to your wedding and make it more memorable for everyone involved.

Before choosing additional speakers, consider the size of your wedding and the amount of time you have allotted for speeches. It’s important to keep in mind that the more speakers you have, the longer the speeches will be. You don’t want your guests to get bored or restless during the speeches.

If you do decide to include other speakers, make sure they are comfortable with public speaking and have enough time to prepare their speech. You can also provide them with some guidelines or suggestions to help them craft a meaningful and appropriate speech.

It’s also a good idea to let your other speakers know the order of speeches and when they will be speaking. This will help them prepare and ensure that the speeches flow smoothly. You can also consider having a designated MC or host to introduce the speakers and keep the speeches on track.

Remember to keep your audience in mind when choosing additional speakers. You want to make sure that the speeches are engaging and relevant to everyone in attendance. With a little planning and consideration, including other speakers can make your wedding speeches even more special and memorable.

Master of Ceremonies

The Master of Ceremonies (MC) is a crucial part of any wedding reception. Their primary role is to ensure the smooth flow of events throughout the day. They act as a host and guide, making announcements and introducing speakers as the day progresses.

The MC is responsible for keeping the guests informed about what is happening and when. They work closely with the wedding planner to ensure that the wedding timeline is followed, and all the activities are executed as planned. They are the ones who inform the guests when it’s time for speeches, games, and traditions.

During the wedding reception, the MC will introduce the newlyweds and announce the start of the meal. They will also announce when it’s time for speeches, and introduce the speakers in the correct order. They will ensure that the speeches are kept to the allotted time and that everyone who wants to speak gets a chance.

At the rehearsal dinner, the MC will go over the plan for the wedding day and ensure that everyone knows their role. They will also go over the order of speeches and ensure that everyone is comfortable with their position.

Overall, the MC is a crucial part of any wedding reception. They keep the day running smoothly and ensure that everyone is informed about what is happening. If you are planning a wedding, be sure to choose an experienced MC who can handle the responsibility and guide you through the day with ease.

Joint Speeches

If you and your partner want to give a joint speech at your wedding, it’s a great way to share your love story with your guests. Joint speeches are becoming more popular, and for good reason. They allow both the bride and groom to express their feelings and share their thoughts with their loved ones.

When giving a joint speech, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, make sure you both agree on what you want to say. You don’t want to surprise each other with your words on the big day. Take some time to plan your speech together and make sure you’re both comfortable with what you’ll be saying.

Second, decide who will say what. You can split the speech up evenly, or have one person start and the other finish. Whatever you decide, make sure it flows well and tells your love story in a way that’s meaningful to both of you.

Finally, practice your speech together. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident when it’s time to give the speech. You can even practice in front of friends or family members to get feedback and make any necessary changes.

Remember, your joint speech should be a reflection of your love for each other and your excitement for your future together as newlyweds. Keep it heartfelt, sincere, and true to yourselves.

Rehearsal Dinner Speeches

The rehearsal is a crucial part of the wedding planning process, as it allows everyone involved in the wedding to practice and prepare for the big day. This includes the wedding party, family members, and anyone else who will have a role in the ceremony or reception.

Typically, the rehearsal takes place the day before the wedding, and it is usually followed by a rehearsal dinner. During the rehearsal, you will go through the ceremony from start to finish, so that everyone knows

The rehearsal dinner is a chance for everyone to relax and enjoy each other’s company before the big day. It is usually held at a restaurant or other venue, and it is a more casual affair than the wedding reception. During the rehearsal dinner, you can give speeches, toast the happy couple, and share stories and memories with your loved ones.

Final Thoughts

Congratulations on your big day! The order of speeches at weddings is an important tradition that can make your wedding reception even more special. By following the traditional order of speeches, you can ensure that everyone who wants to speak gets a chance, and that your guests are entertained and moved by the speeches.

As you plan your wedding, be sure to consider your own preferences and those of your partner. You may want to deviate from the traditional order of speeches, or you may want to add your own unique touches to the speeches. Whatever you decide, make sure that your speeches are heartfelt, sincere, and memorable.

If you are looking for more wedding ideas and inspiration , be sure to check out the ultimate guide to writing wedding speeches and toasts . This guide provides tips and advice on how to write and deliver a great wedding speech, as well as sample speeches and toasts to help you get started.

Remember, the order of speeches at weddings is just one of many traditions that make weddings so special. Whether you choose to follow tradition or put your own unique spin on things, your wedding day is sure to be a day that you and your guests will remember for years to come .

Ryan Hart is a certified relationship coach and writer. His mission is to help make connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology.

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Father of the Bride Speech Examples and Templates

Looking for inspiration for your father of the bride speech? Check out our collection of examples and ideas to help you craft a memorable and heartfelt speech that will make your daughter proud.

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What's the Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?

A modernised template and tips to make the speeches run smoothly.

We're often asked, "What's the correct order of speeches at a wedding ?" and we always give the same answer - the correct order of speeches is the order that works for you and your partner, your style of wedding, and your chosen speechgivers! Of course, what couples actually mean is, "What's the traditional order of speeches at a wedding?" which is an easier question to answer, but we find the traditional order of speeches largely unhelpful when planning a modern wedding. That's why we've come up with a new, modernised template for you to work from, as well as some tips on customising the list for your own big day.

The Traditional or Formal Order of Speeches at a Wedding:

When we're asked about the correct order of speeches at a wedding, the couple is usually looking for the traditional , typical or formal order of speeches at a wedding, which we've provided below. However, it's important to note that this order is pretty outdated, and doesn't accommodate same-sex couples or parents, mixed-gender bridal parties , or brides or other female wedding party members who would like to speak . So, while we've provided it here for any traditional couples out there, we highly recommend you check out our modernised version below!

• The Father of the Bride
• The Father of the Groom
• The Best Man

The Order of Speeches at a Wedding for Modern Couples:

For our updated version of the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, we've gone for a semi-chronological line up. We placed parents first, as they tend to talk more about the couple's early lives, followed by friends and siblings, who often talk about school and early adulthood, and how the couple met. It can be useful for the couple to go last, as this gives you an opportunity to thank everyone who played a role in the day, including the speechgivers. That said, there are many more factors to consider when planning the order of speeches at a wedding - keep reading to find out what they are!

• The Couple's Parents - could be anything from one to four speeches
• The Couple's Closest Friends and/or Siblings - these might include Best Man, Maid of Honour, Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Groomsmaids, Bridesmen, members of the wedding party or non-members
• The Couple  - speaking either together or separately

Tips for Planning the Order of Speeches at a Wedding

• Remember, there's no rule to say that the father-of-the-bride or best man has to give a speech. Equally, we've witnessed amazing speeches given by friends, grandparents and flower girls! Keep an open mind when deciding who will speak at your wedding , and consider who you'd like to hear from, and who would like to speak, rather than blindly following a traditional order.
• It's not mandatory, but we recommend that you at least consider speaking at your own wedding . Guests love to hear from couples, and most couples report that they're glad they made the effort to speak on their own big day.
• When planning the order of speeches, consider whether the speeches will take place all at once , or whether you will stagger them throughout the day . As we discussed here , having some speeches before or after the ceremony, or during the drinks reception, can help combat speech fatigue at the reception, and give nervous speakers the opportunity to get their speech done early on in the day.

• Think about who's going to be giving the speeches, and whether they're confident or nervous about it. It's worth asking them about this directly, as the answer might surprise you!
• Ask one of your more confident speakers to MC the speeches . This really just means they'll introduce each of the speakers in the line up to give the speeches a more polished feel, and give speakers a boost by encouraging the audience to give them a round of applause when they first pick up the microphone.
• You can also ask your MC to watch out for any potential technical difficulties , make sure all the other speakers are ready to go, keep an eye on time, arrange glasses of water for each speaker, etc. You can also give them a list of people to thank on your behalf.
• Place nervous speakers early on the line up , but have your MC introduce them, preferably with a (tasteful!) joke or some words of encouragement. Let your MC know that they're feeling a little apprehensive, so they can encourage the crowd to welcome them warmly.
• Confident speakers can go anywhere on the line up, but having a particularly confident or funny speechgiver go last will end the speeches on a high note!

We have lots more great tips on speeches below:

• Our Favourite Opening Lines
• How to Make a Great Best Man's Speech
• How to Stop Your Speeches Going on Too Long
• Ways to Shake up Your Wedding Speeches
• Free Wedding Speech Bingo Printable
• Dos and Don'ts of Giving a Great Maid of Honour Speech
• The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Got another question that needs answering? Check out our  wedding FAQ page or follow us on Instagram

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Megan hannon photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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Home > Wedding Tips and Advice > Wedding Speeches > Traditional Wedding Speech Order and Etiquette

Traditional Wedding Speech Order and Etiquette

Wedding Speeches

I’m regularly asked who speaks at a wedding and who needs to say what in their wedding speech.

I suggest planning your wedding speech around the ‘must haves’ and the ‘might haves’. The list below focuses solely on the ‘must haves’. Many wedding speeches fall foul of ‘listing’, where you subject the audience to a never-ending barrage of sincere thank yous . The best speeches weave these ‘must haves’ around their more creative elements and so you hardly realise that they are running through a list at all.

Here’s a quick reminder of the traditional wedding speech order and the things you will need to include if it’s a standard wedding with an orthodox set of speeches and toasts .

The Father of the Bride’s Speech

(The father of the bride speech focuses mainly on the bride and her new husband)

• Welcome the guests
• Welcome your new family
• Mention your wife
• Mention guests who cannot be there
• Toast the bride and groom

You may also want to mention your other children, the vicar or equivalent, any friends who have helped with the organisation (including the flowers) and people who have travelled a long way.

The Groom’s Speech

(The groom speech focuses mainly on the bride )

• Thank the father of the bride
• Thank the guests
• Mention the new in-laws
• Thank/mention your own family
• Mention any particularly elderly or ‘special’ guests
• Thank the best man and ushers
• Toast the bridesmaids

Your thank yous may overlap with the father of the bride’s so it’s worth trying to share them between you. You may also want to mention guests who can’t be there, and thank anyone from the wedding planner to the flower arranger (although I suggest that you restrict your thank yous to volunteers).

The Best Man’s Speech

(The best man speech focuses mainly on the groom)

• Read any telegrams
• Respond to toast on behalf of bridesmaids
• Thank your hosts

This list is short and sweet and your speech has the most room for creativity and fun. However, it is still worth checking with the groom that he doesn’t want you to take any of the ‘must haves’ off his plate.

That’s the high level summary. Please don’t assume anything and always check with the others that you are not going to cover the same ground.

Guest post by Lawrence Bernstein of Great Speech Writing

Image from Claire Basiuk Photography

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How to Write a Wedding Toast: Examples, Tips, and Advice

Make sure your moment in the spotlight is memorable—in a good way!

Jaimie Mackey was the real weddings editor at Brides from 2013 to 2015. She also worked as a luxury wedding planner and produced over 100 high-end weddings and events in Colorado

Photo by Olivia & Dan Photography

In This Article

Figuring out how to write a wedding toast can be an incredibly intimidating and nerve-inducing task. Wedding toasts can go one of two ways: They’re either hilarious, memorable, and totally sweet, or a train wreck waiting to happen. Every couple hopes the speeches at the reception fall into the first category, but there’s no guarantee—until now.

To combat those awful speeches, Marisa Polansky and Kristine Keller founded Speech Tank , offering completely custom, one-of-a-kind toasts for any occasion. And what better reason to turn to the experts than for your best friend’s wedding? We sat down with Polansky and Keller to get the inside scoop on writing a totally killer speech . With their help, your audience will be begging for an encore!

Meet the Expert

• Marisa Polansky is a book editor, author, and co-founder of Speech Tank, a collaborative speech-writing service for any occasion.
• Kristine Keller is a writer and the co-founder of Speech Tank.

Wedding Toast Template

Your wedding toast should be meaningful, but not drawn out. Make sure to have a beginning, middle, and end.

While everyone's speech will be unique to them and their relationship with the couple, we put together a general outline to help you get started.

• Congratulate the couple. Express how happy you are that the two of them are getting married and what it means to you to witness it.
• Introduce yourself. Not everyone will know you met the bride or groom at the fourth-grade space camp, so be sure to let guests know about your relationship with the couple before you dive into your speech.
• Tell a (curated) story. When you’re writing your speech, “Choose anecdotes that all fit a theme and support your argument,” Keller says. The theme will help tie it together, making your toast feel intentional instead of random.
• Address both partners. You may not know them both well, but you shouldn’t focus all of your attention on your friend and ignore their new spouse. “Even if you’ve only met your friend’s partner once or twice before, find a way to include him or her in your toast,” Polansky says. “Tell the story of their engagement or share something your friend told you about them that proves what a great partner he or she is.”
• Go for the crowd-pleasers. “Anything that’s an inside joke may have been funny at the time, but no one else will understand what you’re talking about,” Keller says. “Run your stories and jokes by a neutral audience to see if they are as funny as you think.” And remember, a little humor is fine, but this is a toast, not a roast!
• Raise your glass for a toast. To wrap up your speech, invite everyone to raise their glass to the couple, or to love, etc., then cheers glasses together and take a sip.

Don’t count on your phone, which may lock or turn off mid-speech. Instead, print out your toast or put it on note cards for reference. “It’s your moment to have the floor, so don’t risk forgetting your point!” Keller says.

Wedding Toast Tips

Here are Polansky and Keller's best tips for writing and delivering your wedding toast.

• Just get started. It’s your big moment, but figuring out where to start can be tough. “When we work with our clients, we always start with a stream of consciousness,” Keller says. “We ask them to just start telling us stories. You might not think every anecdote is important, but all of a sudden you’ll land on a real gem.”
• Start writing things down. When you’re doing this at home on your own, Polansky says to just start writing stuff down. “Put it all down on paper. Don’t worry about editing as you’re writing, just get it out and then go back and pick and choose details when you’re done.” This will help you identify a theme, which is what you’ll need to make your toast really memorable.
• Use examples. “If you’re trying to make a point about the bride or groom's personality—say, that she or he's particularly loyal—don’t just say that and move on. Pick a specific moment that proves your point. Have something to back it up!” Polansky says. Including some proof will make sure your listeners really buy what you’re saying about the couple.
• Make it quick. “The best length for a toast is about three minutes,” Polansky says. “It’s enough time to say what you need to say, but short enough that you’ll still have everyone’s attention when you ask them to raise their glasses to toast the happy couple.”
• Practice. Think you know what three minutes feels like? Think again. “Practice reading your speech out loud (not in your head!) and time yourself,” Polansky says. “Don’t wing it, especially if you’re nervous,” Polansky continues. “Give yourself time to prepare. Practice with an audience to check your timing, and give yourself time to make edits.”
• Don't overstuff your speech. “If you’re a fast talker, try to slow yourself down so everyone will understand you,” Polansky says. Better to cut a few lines than to try to fit a 10-minute toast into a three-minute time frame!
• Keep it clean-ish. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s important to know your audience. “Cursing and stories about exes are totally off-limits,” Keller says.
• Don't embarrass the couple. “Ask yourself how each story will present the couple. If it sheds any negative light on either person, avoid it.” Continues Polansky, “Think about how close you are with the family as well as who you know will be there. Will it make the bride or groom's great aunt uncomfortable?”

Every time you feel nervous, tell yourself you're excited instead.

Get Brainstorming!

Now that you know the basics, here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you get started writing that killer wedding toast.

• What is your first memory of the bride/groom?
• What is your favorite memory of the bride/groom?
• What did they say when they first told you about their partner?
• How did you know they were meant to be?
• What has the bride/groom or the couple as a whole taught you?
• What qualities do you admire in them?
• When are times that they displayed these qualities?

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• As a freelancer, Anna writes articles for The Knot Worldwide.
• A former New Yorker, Anna now lives in Stockholm, Sweden, where she is the Deputy Managing Editor at a wellness startup.
• In addition to writing for The Knot Worldwide, Anna has worked as an editor at CNN, a reporter for CNBC Make It, and has freelanced for many other well-established online publications.

Historically, wedding speeches date back to ancient societies, when those in attendance would raise their glasses to their gods. Today, giving a speech (or toast) to honor the newlyweds is still a big part of wedding celebrations.

Typically, those expected to give wedding speeches usually includes the newlyweds' parents, one representative from each side of the couple's wedding party (the best man and maid of honor ), and a response toast from the newlyweds, explains Allyson Joseph, an event producer at Bob Gail Events in Los Angeles, California.

As for rehearsal dinner speeches , it's most typical for the father and mother of the groom to raise a toast since they often host this event — while the wedding is commonly hosted by the bride's family.

But there are no set-in-stone rules about who should (and shouldn't) give wedding speeches. It really depends on the occasion, as well as the couple's preferences and culture. Here, several wedding experts provide their very best wedding speech tips.

Wedding Speech vs. Wedding Toast: What's the Difference?

You've heard of "wedding speeches" and "wedding toasts" — but what's the difference? Here's what experts have to say.

"A toast is generally an acknowledgment of a timely event, in the case of a wedding toast, to honor and congratulate the happy couple on their nuptials," says Diane Gottsman, an international etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas .

On the other hand, Gottsman says "a speech is a 'talk,' a lengthier conversation of best wishes and reminiscent of the bride and groom's first meeting, history, or a warm and friendly story."

Julie Blais Comeau, Chief Etiquette Officer at Etiquette Julie , agrees. She says that a "toast is a proposal to drink, to 'cheer,' to honor [the couple's] union and to congratulate them. It is followed by a raising of the glass, the collective taking of a sip to wish them well. It is short and to the point." Speeches are typically longer, and "may include an anecdote or multiple stories and last more than three minutes," says Anne Chertoff, chief operating officer at Beaumont Etiquette .

In sum, you'd raise a toast to the newlyweds and invite everyone to take a sip of whatever they're drinking (often champagne), and speeches are typically pre-written, lengthier tributes.

What Do You Say in a Wedding Speech?

The time has come to write a great wedding speech. You go to put your pen to paper — only to realize you are totally unsure of what's most important to say. Here, you'll get advice on how to deliver a great speech that holds meaning, plus tips on what not to say.

How to Start a Wedding Speech

If it's your first time giving a wedding speech, don't worry if you're not an experienced speechwriter. We recommend starting from the top. What should you begin by saying?

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"When drafting a wedding speech, the speaker would start it based on what their role is in the wedding," Chertoff says. For example, " the father or mother of the bride or groom may start by thanking everyone for attending, since they may be the host of the occasion."

If you're giving a maid of honor speech or best man speech, you may want to start by introducing yourself, Chertoff explains. This introduction may include how you know the bride or groom — and if appropriate, you can also throw in some heartfelt memories you have about meeting their new spouse.

This advice — to start by introducing yourself — can apply to any speech by any guest. It's a smooth way to kick off your tribute, which will also provide context for those listening.

How to End a Wedding Speech

The ending of your speech will likely wrap up in a natural way as you write. But, to make sure you hit the right note, consider the following. "The end of a wedding speech should summarize the feeling of the speech and the occasion," Chertoff says. "The speaker may want to ask everyone to raise a glass to toast the couple — or they may want to end by saying how much they love the newlyweds."

It's really that simple. Just make sure that your speech has a wrap-up of some kind, end it on a heartfelt note, and don't just stop abruptly after telling a story.

When all else fails, you can signal the end of your speech by raising a toast. (After all, everyone loves an energetic toast, followed by a sip of their favorite drink.)

What NOT to Say in a Wedding Speech

What you say in your wedding speech really depends on your relationship with the couple — and also the type and formality of the affair. You may, for example, want to be extra careful about how and when you "throw shade" at the couple. "While some people may think it's funny to roast a bride or groom, a rehearsal dinner is the more appropriate place for a roast-style speech," Chertoff says.

Along the same lines, you may want to avoid bringing up certain topics. "Steer clear from mentioning past love interests, private jokes or one-liners no one else will understand, or personal details that could potentially be offensive," Gottsman says.

She adds: "Humor is dangerous — unless you are really good at pulling it off and very few people are as funny as they think!"

Finally, it's safest to stay away from curse words — and definitely don't belittle, ridicule, or shame anyone, Chertoff explains. "Remember that what you say and do can be recorded at any moment and could go viral."

Who Should Give Wedding Speeches?

With all of your loved ones attending your wedding, you might be wondering who should give wedding speeches on your big day. "The list can be lengthy and include everyone in the wedding party, including bridesmaids and groomsmen, if he or she wants to," Blais Comeau says. "There is no obligation on anyone's part."

Blais Comeau adds: "Top of the list is the bride and groom, followed by the father of the bride speech and the father of the groom speech, unto the best man, the maid of honor. Start at the top, decide, ask, and plan."

What's the usual order of wedding speeches? "The best man and the maid of honor traditionally offer the first speech, generally before the meal is served," Gottsman says. Then, "a parent of the couple may make a dessert speech honoring the couple, as well."

If the newlyweds also want to give a speech , that's welcomed. After all, they're the reason everyone is gathered. It's always nice to thank everyone for coming — and show appreciation for all who may have traveled from afar.

How Long Should a Wedding Speech Be?

Wondering how long your wedding speech should be? Here's some helpful advice to ensure you meet expectations without going on for too long. While many experts will tell you to keep your talk to 3 minutes or less, Chertoff says the best wedding speeches usually last three to five minutes. Gottsman agrees, saying "The perfect speech lasts around 5 minutes, give or take a minute or two."

Just remember: While it's easy to write a lot about the people that you love, there are many festivities that take place during the wedding reception, such as special dances and cutting the cake.

To make sure you're in the sweet spot time-wise, try writing down everything you'd like to say and time yourself as you read. If you end up talking for too long, you'll then want to cut out parts that have less impact.

Practicing is also important because it allows you to see how fast you tend to read. You'll want to make sure you "read slowly, pause, look up, smile, look at the newlyweds and the guests," Blais Comeau says. "Don't rush it."

Is It OK to Read a Wedding Speech?

The debate over whether it's OK to read your wedding speech ends here. Since not everyone is great at public speaking, experts say it's fine to bring notes with you, so long as you're familiar with your script. The important part is to show your love for the couple.

"No one should feel obligated to memorize a speech," Chertoff says. "That being said, it's important that anyone reading a speech or making a toast practice before the wedding day, so they are comfortable and confident on the big day."

Gottsman agrees, saying, "Note cards are acceptable to refer to occasionally if you are feeling nervous. But she adds that "the best speech is from the heart without notes."

Additionally, if you choose to read from your phone or tablet, remember to "make sure that all the bells and whistles are silenced," Blais Comeau says. After all, you don't want your phone to start ringing mid-speech. That'd be a real mood spoiler.